How has growing up with an alcoholic parent affected me

[loriprettysimple]

It's not unusual for the oldest child to get the brunt of the abuse. I have also had nightmares and so has my sister. The thing is, every grandparent doesn't have the right to see their grandchildren. I think they have to earn that right and if we don't feel comfortable, it's our prerogative as parents. Thanks for making this video.  I can relate to everything you say in this video. My father still drinks too and it's so sad and it's pathetic, really. It's typical for alcoholics to blame.

[oneofustwo]

yes Philip I do go to ACOA. I just found it, & just finished my 6th meeting. I know what you're saying about not being able to talk & stuff, but people seem more than willing to talk afterwards...but for me, at 49 years old(!!!) it's answered a lot of questions for me/about me already, and gives me hope that I can still create a good life for myself despite my upbringing, AND break the cycle for the sake of my sons, because even though we don't drink, we carry all that 'damage' with us. GBU

[anthonyfilter]

you are strong brave lad making this video thank you

[qwertyuiop76146]

you are so honest and true about how our behaviours and attitude change being exposed to the daily bursts of violence due to alcoholic parents..am 20 now and have learnt to control my emotions but true that during my teenage years i just could not control my disappointments and anger with my drunk parents and their abusive behavior. Ended up making mistakes and venting all that on my boyfriend and friend who would think i am overeacting..i hope ppl thnk twice befor takin such addictive ways..

[thes0mething]

I just have to say that u describe so much of what i feel all the time and hearing u talking about this takes away the feeling of loneliness. I have an amazing boyfriend and friends who r there for me but its so hard for them to understand. i can get down randomly because im overwhelmed with memories or just the emptiness of not having a dad but i prefer to just w8 til it passes. i can make people angry cuz i wont open up and they get anoyed cuz i dont get over it once i open up. So confusing

[philip2260]

@thes0mething hi, thanks for your comment. i find that unless you go through this you can never fully understand. i still wake up to this very day, from nightmares of things that happened when i was a child. 1st your not alone, contact me any time i can be of help. 2 you have to learn to overcome this, its much deeper than just "getting it off your chest". start a journal write down your thoughts, people help, but only you have the answer. 3 you can overcome, God bless phil

[oneofustwo]

philip2260-try an ACOA meeting near you-Adult Children of Alcoholics-you will be okay! and you will get the answers you are looking for--there is hope and healing! do it for yourself, your wife and your son! God bless you.

[philip2260]

@oneofustwo i have tried a meeting. it was interesting, but it lack i thought growth, as your not allowed to give advice, or anything on what people say, or get back peoples thoughts on what you might say. i feel this is this pc system that is everywhere. i also read the book they told me to read (the complete acoa source book by janet woitiz) and i disagreed with a lot of it. alcoholic is not a disease, it when someone puts being drunk over something else.

but thanks for the advice, do u go?

[thes0mething]

Thank you sooo much for this! xxx

[kanfyetka]

my hat is off to you and all who have made similar videos for your honesty...thank you. xx

[TheJmpeters]

The worst pain for me was looking up to a father for protection or guidance and having admiration for him and then having to hear all of the hurtful and demeaning things said down to me. The physical abuse only hurt for a while, but the emotional scars don't go away. I learned from being a Christian that to begin to heal, I first had to learn to forgive. Through my faith in Jesus Christ, and His word, there is Healing.(Psalms30:2)says..O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and you healed me.

[creativewriter1000]

Thank you for this video. Very brave of you to confront all of these issues.

It's always important to know that you aren't alone in how you feel.

Thank you

[999Atwood]

My dad finally drank his self to death when I was 27 and he was 49. After he was gone it was much easier to forgive him and move on from the same damage you mention. Before he died I was filled with hate for him...now I really feel nothing but saddness for what ever brought him to that road in life.

[philip2260]

@999Atwood hi, i understand what ur saying as i too have great compassion for my dad, but then nothing but hate. thank you for your comment, taking time to write it.

[itsLaurenLee]

great video, thanks.

[9robke123]

@jackflashjumps you know sometimes i feel about my mom the same , that she is doing the stuff to me like the worst.. i mean my dad just left me kind of i think i dnt even know.and my mom she sometimes tells me im the worst son ever ;// .. but brother keep faith in ur heart , you got to understand watever ur parents im sure there was still love in their heart , i mean if they hit u for 24/7 there is still love somewere deep down! just got to belive..

[MrSharonglen]

Thank you Philip. Your video is a light in the darkness for those who are dealing with this problem.I have watched it over and over and shared it with other members of my family. Thank you so much.I only wish I could hear you speak more on this subject.

[9robke123]

im 14..and right now i just watched the other guys video and i clicked on yours..and im happy to hear all these stories..tho the problem with mine is that my mom gets drunk.. my step dad doesnt drink tho instead he fights my mom..and right know while im writing this my mom is drinking and im scared whats going to happen once my moms friends leave.. becasue they had a small argumment around 10minutes ago;( god help me!

[philip2260]

@9robke123 be strong, and focus. its not your fault. i know it will be hard but try and get some sleep. iam praying for you. if you can try praying to and telling God your problems. focus on how you will be when you grow up, all the things you want to achieve, dont get depressed. psalm 55v22 Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. 1 peter 5v7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.let me know how it goes

[9robke123]

@philip2260 thanks alot.. thank you!!!!

[philip2260]

@9robke123 anytime brother. anything i can do please just ask, but do try and get some sleep.

[9robke123]

@philip2260 alright thanks.. im going to sleep right now god be with you!

[dinotoro22]

@philip2260 I remember when I was a boy and praying to god with all my heart to just make my dad stop the yelling and drinking, hurting my mother and so on... Then the next weekend comes and my dad starts it all over again, and again. I then realized I was truly alone and no invisible man in the sky was going to help me. Religion does nothing but give false hope and slow the progress of our civilization.

[philip2260]

@dinotoro22 hi, there are many ways i could answer your comment. 1> the world gives false hope, no one help me, police, social services, there is no real justice in this life 2> i can only say for me, but faith has helped me and directed me and stop me from becoming bitter 3> you dont know if there is no "invisible man in the sky" it is only in death when we will know, if God came down everyone would believe, but through faith the real motives of our hearts are seen. can good come out of evil?

[thanos222222]

@philip2260 very nice perspective Philip!! So true.

[waiting4rain]

I'm glad you posted this video. I came home to find my father drunk as hell again. Perused through youtube to see if anyone had any similar stories. It made me feel much better. Thank you.

[philip2260]

@waiting4rain iam glad this video made you feel better. dont worry one day it will be better ;)

[thanos222222]

Thanks for posting this video. I also remember catching his swings as I got older, and I too managed to get my comfort from Christianity. 

Great video!

[philip2260]

@thanos222222 thanks for your comment

[philip2260]

@thanos222222 thanks bro for inspiring me to do video about my growing up. god bless your brother and friend philip

[smikesmike05]

we do pretend, we pretend alot... :(

you're not alone, I can't believe how many of them there are out there!

people like us, but sadly most of them are confused and enclosed...

I wanna change the world to be able to help those people =(

[philip2260]

@smikesmike05 hi, thanks for your understanding words, if your doing anything to help this issue let me know. philip