"Jews Are Like Italians?" Stand Up Comedy from Jeff Lawrence (2007)

[gangsta46197]

HAAHAHAHAH wow i never realized how these random fights actually to occur on youtube videos.

[Lavron4151]

Hilarious and I'm jewish. So hilarious.

[Elchaidadon]

the moroccan jewish simliar to italians the krepalach idish jewish that the stnd up ma talk about-moroccan jewsh=italianos jewish a lot of colour best food etc!

[Deisinoful]

I am always intrigued at many of these American made videos about Italians. The concept is that an Italian is a guy who doesn't speak Italian, doesn't live in Italy, knows next to nothing about the real Italians of today, but has inherited some southern dialect words from their grand-grand parents, and for all the rest is an outright American. I don't have problems wih this since I've always experienced a certian liking by Americans to Italian genuine culture. Yet. . .

[fuzzymuffPI]

Yo, I grew up in an orthodox jewish family and I've been dating an italian gril for three years and ive got to say i laughed so hard when i saw this. SPOT ON. keep up the funny shit Jeff

[swimmerinstinct]

Unless cousin frankie is one of those fat meathead italians like tony soprano, I wouldnt want him defending me either. You can make the argument that italians have a deeper culture for culinary arts as well as general history, but all in all great humour, love it when you can laugh at any group of people without being chastized.

[MrKaka1990]

FUCK JEWS !!

[09heatherlyn]

@MrKaka1990

FUCK YOU !!

[MrKaka1990]

@09heatherlyn FUCK U SISTER !!

[elbag2]

@MrKaka1990 Do you know what MrKaka means in hebrew? it means Mr.Shit. yeah your MrShit1990

[MrKaka1990]

@elbag2 hahaha very funny !! don't talk to me u motherfuker !!

[09heatherlyn]

@elbag2 haha thats awesome. that guy is a d-bag. probably because hes pissed about being mr.shit

[MatthewHowardWight]

Hey,

Great stuff. Peace

-MW

[MozartJunior22]

Italians.... are not Jews!

watch?v=ij-kGKp8_j4&feature=re­lated

[kenpachioasis]

I love the ending comment 'in court' !

[TonyMontanaReign]

Italians are not Jews, the Americans are bastards!!!

[neveranygoodnameslef]

Sexy, sexy man. Just sayin

[Paralyt1c]

I would definitely choose shlomo.

[MW2Baillistick]

I'm ok with this unless you said "Italians are like Jews." I'm Italian and all my freinds use to be jealous of my "early beard".

[Dan69WasTaken]

this is fucking horrible - probly y no1s ever heard of him

[mrbuster1964]

I had an Italian lawyer once...WHAT A SHITTY JOB!!!!! HE WAS EITHER HIGH OR FUCKED UP!!!!! If you need a LAWYER...go JEW!!!!!

[marcko88rm]

I'm Italian and i'm very offended.

....however i think peope have the right of having fun so....LOL

[Kirbonauta]

i'm italian and i'm not jew O.ò

[ahomevideoonline]

@themack509 Do you want to take those showers again?

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

@themack509 this is the best you can do on Thanksgiving? No comparison, my Italian relatives, while I love them, have shit for brains. They don't have good jobs and complain all the time. My Jewish relatives are always bailing them out, it's pathetic.

[nemetsk]

@themack509 you must be a poet.

[dj3kny2]

@themack509 You asshole wat did jews ever do to you

[danidin1234]

@themack509 HEY cock sucking "italian" im israeli (jew) and i know italian as oppose to you you arnt italian for shit youre just an american

btw you call me a kike?? well news flash cunt ive got blue eyes and blonde hair you are the black kike with you string curled black your are the inferior so dont ever call me a kike

you wanna be racist come to israel ill show white and racist

i wanna see you tell anything about the jews ever

forza italia ti amo italia!!!!

[MugenMacca]

I would chose shlomo to defend me

In court

hhahahahahahah

[mrtundra45]

hahaha NO one wants to be jewish but everyone wants to be italian. LOL

[BenAbu111]

if not us

the italians would still fight over territory without any agreement...

so yeah you can say jews design the mob...

[FrankaDith]

I thought it was funny ,but reading the comments im thinking fack cant a guy tell a joke without every different Jewish sect and christian crucifying him for having the balls to climb that stage in the first place ,one thing about having this kind of support is when you make it big you dont have to thank anybody but yourself !

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

@FrankaDith Thank you for your support!

[aky19832001]

A gay jew. How surprising.

[SinceretheGhost]

If you take religion seriously, and believe in a magical man in the sky.....your probably an idiot.

[PifflePrattle]

One of my favorite Italians was Jewish. Primo Levi, a truly great person, clever compassionate and wise.

[ctjayjay01]

me ittalian and i am NOT a jew full blooded italian

[SussBank]

JEWS are Ashkenazi (Khumanoid Kapo' of humanity) , SEMITE are (or was) Palestinians(NAKBA) , and Italians are the most mixed people of the World !

[TheTrampolineMen]

@SussBank i'm a sfaradic jew, dumbass, and we also have yemenite jews, and mizrahi jews, so shut the fuck up you uneducated piece of shit.

[SussBank]

@TheTr interesting the trick-game to Confuse Kapo' choosenPeople with italians, Black people,...... this is a "Trick of Memorah" ; " i took Real Pains of everyone (in the world and in the history) and i do ,MINE (IlluSion of history ! as a "Copyrights of Pain "! your Pain is Mine; your money is mine, your history is mine ,....... the FIAT VOLUNTAS Giu'DEI ! Who gave the money to Mussolini came to power? Why hitler was surrounded by Jews at court? the Shoa'Show is the Deportation in Palestine?

[TheTrampolineMen]

@SussBank could u please type more clearly, I do not understand a fucking word you're saying, damn, didn't you learn how to write in school?

[SussBank]

@TheTrampolineMen you have to know well languagge of your Uslaves; i ' m italian and i no have slaves;sorry my trash english ! what you think about Shoah ? and about comunism & nazism as ZIONist invention (to arrive at NATO & IsraHell)?! you know that to arrive at the NWO (and follow the bible prophecies) THEY need of a Controlled Demolition of Twin Towers (11) , USA & IsraHell ?! a real holocaust coming soon, but for a NWO

[TheTrampolineMen]

@SussBank NWO? are you fucking serious? NWO is a myth invented by uneducated people, and Jews never had slaves, the americans had slaves, the romans (italians) had slaves, jews never in history have slaves, and had nothing to do with slavery (unlike Christians and Muslims), and calling my country hell using english wordplay which wasn't invented yet when the name israel was (which was given to Jacob by God) is really unappropriate and disrespectful to my religion, so just shut th fuck up already

[SussBank]

Important Jews ; Einstein-Majorana-Fermi (thanks for Atomic); Serge Voronoff (thanks for your AIDS) ; R.Levi Montalcini (nobel bought ), H.Kissinger (the risiko man n); hitler-stalin (the twinSuss ;black & red) , Bush dinasty ; RothSchild (the inventors of the most great trick of history;Bankstein & Seigniorage),..... and so for Religions (jews as Visitors unsuspected are in anyplace to do demage usefull at the NWO and Round up of GodGold )! Anunnaki from Nibiru are near to arrive and Suss is

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

Thanks for all the anti semetic remarks, I'm reading them on stage at NY Comedy Club's and getting tons of laughs, hence more bookings, and hence, more money! That's right, as a Jew, I just care about MONEY!!!!

[ranondo92]

@Jefflawrencecomedy you forget about Israelis and Sephardic food

[placidDUNDAS]

All italians are jews - Lenny Bruce

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

@placidDUNDAS I didn't know he said that, love it!!!

[Conspiracyknowledge]

@Jefflawrencecomedy jews are not italians - family guy

[Heptasmegistus]

@Jefflawrencecomedy Haha, I didn't know that either. Did you know according to the Talmud, Jews are the descendants of Jacob, and Romans the descendants of Esau, his twin brother?

[ItaliansAreJews]

@placidDUNDAS He is right

[Johnnystrychnine]

@placidDUNDAS I'm Italian and have no money, am I a jew? and I am unemployed.

[placidDUNDAS]

@Johnnystrychnine

you'll notice the name after my comment, Lenny Bruce. That's not my name, that's the name of a stand up from the fifties. He's kind of a big deal. Do you really think there are no poor jews?

[Jolandatommy]

@placidDUNDAS I'm italian.....a real one not born in america and playing what they think would make them more italian!; I have never understood why they said that ..and btw just in America they used to say it ! NEED EXPLANATION please! LET'S JUST SAY THAT WE DON'T GET OFFENDED IF YOU CALL US JEWS ARABS BLACK (YES THEY SAY THAT TOO) ,WE GET OFFENDED WHEN IGNORANT AND NON CONSCIOUS RACIST PEOPLE PRETEND TO PUT A MARK ON YOU WITHOUT FACING HISTORY ...

[placidDUNDAS]

@Jolandatommy Easy pal, don't get your fettucini in a tangle.

That you are a 'real' Italian (and not, by extension, a fake one like myself) sort of omits you from Lenny Bruce's original conversation, which was speaking more of new world Italians and Jews. They live in the same neighbourhoods, work with and for eachother and recreate themselves together. The word "Jew" is not an insult but, in this case, merely a recognition of cultural commonality.

[Jolandatommy]

@placidDUNDAS FettucinE ;) Well you have to admit 90% of the comments refer to gentics,faces,noses and other superficial things.

Thanks! I think most of people don't get so interested in knowing truly how different cultures used to live together in difficulties

[placidDUNDAS]

@Jolandatommy You're right, the internet is full of racism and I'm happy to differentiate myself from that. Like i said, I'm Italian (in Canada people whose parents are both from Italy call themselves Italian) and I get called all kinds of nasty things.

Perhaps the greatest accomplishment of our ruling elites is that they've been able to convince working people they have more in common with their oppressors than they do other working people from different countries or cultures.

[SussBank]

JEWS are the dott Frankstein of 300 millions of zombie slave

usa!

[JohnTheHutDweller]

Too Funny. So true

[bartlemy]

Jews are great at devising ways to murder people and Italians are great at carrying them out. Both communities have zero scruples when it comes to money...

[JohnTheHutDweller]

@bartlemy great way to be a racist

[return135]

Yes, Jews make good lawyers. They have great devious, snake-like qualities.

[G1987Jason]

Jews are like Italians except Jews have really small mutilated dicks.

[StuntKing909]

fucking stupid WASP piece of shit isn't qualified to say anything about similarities.

[WinstonSmith6079]

@StuntKing909 Yeah! Tell that white-assed cracker honky mofo how it is!

Oops!  This Comment was meant for totally different video! Hmm, I got the pages confused, didn't I. Whoops! Sorry! hehehehe

[StuntKing909]

I am white dumbass.

[WinstonSmith6079]

@StuntKing909 Oh. Heh, imagine that! I'm white too! What a coincidence! hehehehe

[PiMpStEr360]

this guy is an idiot.

[TUENEMIGOVIVO]

ITALIANS AND JEWS ARE NIGGERS YOU ARE THE TRASH OF THE WORLD

[Shmacalacapingo]

@TUENEMIGOVIVO jealous much?

[akamoegti]

fuck Jews n fuck Israel 

[TUENEMIGOVIVO]

@akamoegti THATS RIGHT AND FUCK THOSE GREASY ITALIANS TO'' FUCK YEAH

[rasta7i]

@akamoegti

fuck u !!

[jsbeard18]

@akamoegti

fuck ur sister, i did u little bitch

[frase1234]

love the gag at the end...... defend me in court ..... lol

[TranceElevation]

Italians are more similar to gypsies than jews.

[xaviqaz]

@TranceElevation you surely believe that all italians are sicilians

[veronicat17]

NO one can take a joke...lighten up people! Enjoy your life.. & ALSO.. i think its funny how much hatred is geared towards jews when if muslims had a chance they would kill jesus...just like they are trying to take over the world..hello! open your eyes people lol..

[thatguy126]

that intro was pretty cool...mixing that song (pulp fiction theme) with hava nagela

[mrtundra45]

Gay ass Israel wouldnt even exist if the British didnt set it up FOR them... and shame on them for doing so.... Look @ European nations built by Europeans and then look @ Jewish Nations a Tiny strip of Occupied land in Palestine Built by Europeans. lol

Jews are so fucking Stupid they cant even build them selves a Nation right. if the USA cut off israel they would get Smashed by Arabs! lol

[uchnsn]

@mrtundra45 then the arabs will go after you...its as simple as that

if you think they are any ones friend your wrong.

[mrtundra45]

@uchnsn No is USA cut off Israel then it would be OPEN SEASON for jihad on jews....lol

USA does NOT need israel..... israel needs USA

[uchnsn]

@mrtundra45 most retarded answer i ever saw in my life...did you even read what it said?

i see your either a really bad troll or just brain damaged

[mrtundra45]

@uchnsn Arabs aint shit... neither are Jews.

[zbeyda]

i agree jews are smarter not only than italians but most ppl

[HybridD91]

@zbeyda And Jews are less likely to show empathy....hey, why not post something insulting, look at the comments. C'mon, try it.

[mrtundra45]

@zbeyda Italians have the 2nd highest national IQ in Europe, followed by Germany and Switzerland.... while Eastern European Nations with Large Jewish Populations have Low IQs and High Drop Out Rates! lol

Italians Invented more for Western Society then any Jew EVER has. Jews just tried to Controll other peoples Money. smh

[AnimationPlantation]

@zbeyda being deceitful & tricking old people into giving their life saving away doesn't make you smarter it just shows disrespect to your fellow human being.

[turbofritz2]

If i were to earn to money then i'd jsut call Ben Bernake he is Jewish he could just print some of those money!! Counterfitting the rest of the americans!!

Oncle bernanke aye? Give me some of those sweet greens

[lilplaya1824]

ahh you get uncle frankie to do it once and you dont have to worry about court ever. he takes care of it all. lol

[fep70]

Didn't Charles Babbage, who is English, invent the computer?

[JAP10234]

WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF 1:17 mins

[OnceUponAtimeInLeb]

Jews and Italians are very much alike, they both will use a soap without water so it last longer.

[Thisisntcaketown]

My mom is full sicilian, my dad is russian-romanian jewish. What the hell does that make me?

[xxvampirex789]

@Thisisntcaketown pure badass

[Ozymondias99]

@Thisisntcaketown

Italian, Russian, and Romanian. Judaism is a religion, not an ethnicity.

[mrtundra45]

really? I thought Italians could Fight... had style, lower-middle class, and have big dicks..

[Jewtalians]

Actually yes, Jews and Italians are the same, genetic brothers

/watch?v=QXoNWbCLicQ

[DrewAnti1960]

@Jewtalians yes the DNA of the italians and the jews are the same,80% of italians are direct decendents of Abraham,,their religion is just roman catholic,but all respect to all people of the world.

[Johnnystrychnine]

@DrewAnti1960 Really in a way it does not surprise me. My niece is married to a NYC Jew. She is a native Italian. But there are many ethnic nationalities that are similar to Italians, and vice a versa. The Chinese, Koreans, Spaniards, French, Portuguese, Vietnamese, etc. The similarities are demonstrated in kinship ties, food values, work ethics, a paternal fugure head, and strong family values. Really the world is a town, there are NYC jews in sydney and melbourne Australia too.from an Italian.

[Snugglepops]

Well I laughed. Loudly. :)

[jsn1981]

womp womp

[tashpinto]

I hate it when the comments section is full of rude, small-headed people insuting each other

[tupacsomething69]

@tashpinto what are you talking about? youtube comment fights are fun to read

[WinstonSmith6079]

@tashpinto Yeah, and worse than that, they're not even funny! All their jokes are awful, and fall flat! BORING! hehehe

Eeh, I think that guy in the video is much funnier than them! hehehe

[10400274]

ugh jews

[kkrbloedhond]

hey! im a jew!!!

w8,,, i am not!

thank god

[freedmanjoey]

@kkrbloedhond thank god + we dont need you ! THANK YOU COME AGAIN

[StatenIzzy1]

thi smake sno sense cuz jew is a religion and italians are a nationality lol?.....thats like comparing russians with muslims...there a plenty jewish italians

[japaneseproctolgist]

@StatenIzzy1 well i agree with most of what you say except for that there are plenty of jewish italians italy is 98% roman catholic most jews were kicked out of italy or killed during the inquisition along with anyone else who wasn't catholic

[qiovanni]

@japaneseproctolgist

Jews were not killed by the inquisition... they converted to Catholicism

[japaneseproctolgist]

@qiovanni no they were told to convert to catholicism and if they didnt or someone saw them practicing jewish traditions they were killed

[qiovanni]

@qiovanni

not in Italy. many Jews even took shelter in Italy from Spain where they were prosecuted. all the Pope did was to relegate them into ghettos, in some periods of history.

[StatenIzzy1]

@japaneseproctolgist yes your right..so your proving my point even more. because why would you compare the two when some are both..its like comparing americans with christians..some are american christians..so it makes no sense...i do understand what the comedian was trying to say..that a lot of italians do have that Semitic middle eastern look..curly hair hooked nose olive skin

[mixmasterxp]

y was this on the right hand side of a russell peters video?

[frenchcalc]

THIS SHIT SUCKED ASS

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

A Jew invented baseball.

[rootbeerking987]

@Jefflawrencecomedy who gives a shit? it's ignorant to be proud of yourself because a member of your race invented some shit. this. you're a jewish nationalist. a white person invented the automobile, does that make white people a superior race? hell no. george carlin (the greatest comedian of all time) said you shouldn't be proud to be jewish or black or gay because pride should be something earned, not given. it's sad that you call yourself a comedian... also, baseball sucks, football's better

[WinstonSmith6079]

@Jefflawrencecomedy Yeah well *I* invented the art of eating mucus! Ever seen anyone pick their nose, and then eat it? Heh, that was my idea! hehehehe

[coralaisly]

... i laughed at the text bit at the end...

[jackburton2009]

Italians can take a joke, Jews can't. Because Jews are effeminate little whiners.

[gambitvoleur]

@jackburton2009 yes it's true. Who ever heard of self-depricating jewish comedy?

[jackburton2009]

@gambitvoleur No one, but people have heard of self-deprecating comedy.

Learn how to spell before you use sarcasm, you twit.

The context of my statement was obviously from others, not themselves, moron.

[Muskokona]

franky would be like little nicky Dechezere's (or w/e his name is) grandfather from the adam sandler skit. Gotta respect!

[Jefflawrencemusic]

you tube viewers are the stupidest people in the world

[MsIthinkthereforeIam]

What nationality was Leonardo Da Vinci? 

[laughingbuddhacomedy]

@ijuhat another muslim? don't you got a bus to blow up?

[ranucciman1]

funny shit!!!

[nosexintheussr]

Are you Lithuanian Jewish? In Lithuania the Jews said 'kugel' while in Poland the Jews said 'kigel'.

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

@eagleeye2391 you forgot to add cock.

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

@ijuhat I agree. It pains me to leave this clip up (this is when I first started comedy) but I make money every time someone views it, so thank you!!!

[ijuhat]

@Jefflawrencecomedy

so you have no artistic integrity then?

[laughingbuddhacomedy]

@ijuhat I have a lot of artistic integrity, but I need to eat and pay rent. You can always tell when someone is or isn't an artist. You simply don't understand how difficult it is to make a living in the arts....you should try it some day.

[mevansmusic]

haha rock on jews rock on

[Toxikwyrdash]

haha this is great

[SmotPoker09]

jews and italians are Brothers. fanculo ai mussulmani

[samurai10000bc]

the only similarity between Jews and Italians is they're both cheep!

[xMozzee]

@samurai10000bc wait... so you're saying they're both birds?

[Toxikwyrdash]

@samurai10000bc wow ur pretty open with racism

[JohnnyRoastbeef21]

Every culture is different Italians are not like Jews.

Just like Koreans aint like Chinese people.

No one is better , but everyone has a different culture.

[TeamStayAtHome]

all these jews need to calm the fuck down.

[lesleyhenriquez]

If he wants to be Italian he should pronounce the dishes right, at least.

[CurryProd]

they both have huge noses

[TheCrackbabyofComedy]

look @ you and your 92k views..fantastico!!!.....reall­y jeff....you do not need to explain your comedic brilliance to these homos....

[MacDonachie]

@nathengreen

Really you think if there were no jews there would be no war? You silly little shit, Your probably just some dropout who can't formulate a real argument to support your anti-Semitic views do you resort to saying idiotic things such as that.

Bravo sir your really going places

[rivermill100]

This guy is making jokes and funny ones may I add.  You people are taking this so seroiusly. Relax and enjoy his comedy. Its funny

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

@rivermill100 Thank you! finally someone with common sense!!!

[SonOfJerusalem]

Brasktun: Will you know why we muslims hate you fucking jews.. Because you always blame on in stuff that we nothing have to do with.. Oh my god, a real jew is a liar, a fake jew is a killer.. But an ortodox jew is a great jew..

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

I don't steal because I make great money as a comedian. I do spell correctly though because I'm educated.

[nathengreen]

And if u truly a man living in manhattan "home of Jew" tell where so I can come to see u!? Let's do it man up fuckn Jew

[nathengreen]

U r a fucking ass whole talkn about real estate I knew how people want to fuck Jew up bcuz of the money they steal

[jameshanley39]

you piece of garbage self hating jew and ripping off another comedian for your music. If you had more talent you'd be able to make proper jokes, not just take the micky out of an ethnicity,, you garbage person

[Jefflawrencecomedy]

@jameshanley39 you're so right, I'm garbage. And I make money every time you click on my video. I'm garbage living in a prime real estate brand new bedroom in downtown Manhattan, home of the Jews. Let me guess, you barely can put food on the table for yourself, and you resent Jews for being hardworking and far more intelligent than you. As far as proper jokes, I am a regular at the top comedy clubs in NYC, the comedy capitol of the world, and you don't get there being garbage.

[09nabila]

@Jefflawrencecomedy WOW your reply to@jameshanley39 was rude, btw i just clicked this because I was watching Russell Peters, and i thought this would be funny .

[Uncle99B]

@Jefflawrencecomedy . Maybe if Jews stopped referring to their material possessions to justify themselves every time they were criticized, they would get a little more respect and understanding from the 99% plus of the world that is not Jewish. Just a thought

[nathengreen]

U fuckn kiddn jews r the most low life people in earth , if hitler really burned them on camps there will be no more war or problem

[nathengreen]

U fuckn kiddn jews r the most low life people in earth , if hitler really burned them on camps there will be no more war or problem