Why Men Cheat (M. Gary Neuman)

[karlsmith00]

men cheat because they can. it has nothing to do with what a wife does, looks like, says, etc. if he has the chance to do it, he will. end of story.

[ebonics4everyone]

If you're a woman, who demands loyalty from your boyfriend or husband, you need to settle for less that what turns you on. If you're willing to settle for a boring, unattractive, modest guy who likes sci-fi and video games, you may be in luck. If you insist on the jock or the power driven career business tycoon, you'd better accept the reality that he will cheat on you. Other women will always be there when you aren't.

[karlsmith00]

@ebonics4everyone like every male who cheats is some business tycoon. you fucking idiot.

like there are no unattractive married men who fuck around on their wives all the time. there wouldn't be brothels in nevada or amsterdam if that were true. men will cheat if they can. that's it.

[lelechelle]

@ notrustleft....leave! I also just found out mine has been cheating for years all discovered on facebook. Seek counseling if you really have to ask yourself what to do. I did because i refuse and know i deserve a good man.

[lelechelle]

I do believe this but I think that 12% you left out is how men are primal. That once they know you love them, the chase is done.

[hot6235]

there's a VERY strong steryotype that men cheat for sex and women cheat for love. this is generlization and the whole world needs to know this.

[JayNJayShow]

Men cheat because men like new pussy. The reason men like new pussy is because we gotta jump through hoops and shit to get it.  If women would stop making their vaginas so unattainable it would lose value and men would stop lusting over it as much. Am I saying go all out and be a pure grade A slut? No. But when you meet a nice man cut out that waiting 30 days bullshit. Be an adult and screw a lil' bit.

[urScorpioLady]

i agree

[notrustleft]

My life partner age 52 is cheating for the last 4 years with a 26 year old now mother to his 2.5 year old child. I resently found very sexually graffic photos of her on a secret cell phone. this is after he told me several times it was over between them. Needless to say I tossed him out and he went right to her, but begged to come back in 3 day. I don't believe this has ended I just don't trust his words anymore, yet we have been together for 15 years and I love him....what to do??

[hot6235]

@notrustleft he's not good enough for you. leave him!!!!!

[marynino2008]

As a woman I gotta say, i agree with this guy. :O Women always need to be reassured,want to feel appreciated etc..whereas the men don't? I think they do deserve a "pat on the back" as oppose to "i'm busy"..a woman would get that answer and she would feel sad and cry about it and say how hard she worked and gets no appreciation for it from her husband and that's "ok"..but a man says it and he needs to "grow up"? Of course it works both ways both should be treated with love and attn.

[millieboyent]

@marynino2008

I wish there were more women like you in the U.S.

[ebonics4everyone]

@marynino2008 It doesn't matter how much you butter up your man's ego. It's in his nature to cheat on you, when the opportunities present themselves. You wouldn't be physically attracted to a less virile male that is too sweet and kind. In fact, those guys are always the "friends" that don't get any love.

[polkadotlove78]

for the two top comments: i agree with both. i mean i believe he's saying marriage is a partnership where we need to nurture each other and the relationship with each other. but i do understand the point that women are busy and sometimes we have more productive things to be doing then to just reassure our husbands all day.

[mymusic777ify]

if men were given education and began to understand that women aren't an automobile or a machine he can just replace or bye a new when it doesn't work,a lot of the problem would've been solved.The average male doesn't want to work more than he has to and certainly not on a relationship.They consider it foolish or womens responsibility.If men really wants exitment,more sex,more attention from their women,give and you will get! Men are aware of thire needs as humans,women are humans too!!!

[millieboyent]

@mymusic777ify

Women dont work at relationships either....they expect a man to settle for whatever they give them while a women gets everything she wants.....how is that right? Women expect to get things right away and make a man wait for whatever it is that he wants...

[mymusic777ify]

@millieboyent what kind of women have you met???you do realize there are women doesn't want anything from men at all.whatever gender or reason there are still no excuse for cheating either way!

[patriciacarrasco]

i think this is true. i see lots of people married, including my parents and grandparents and my mom and grandma were so mean and even cruel to my dad and grandfather, hence their cheating...

[dogterd]

the only women I've ever met who really understood what men are all about were whores. No games, no crap, just cash on the barrelhead for services rendered. The most honest relationship most men ever have with a woman. As soon as you're in a relationship, the emotional/sexual blackmail starts.

[geonlansis]

I agree to what he says about needing emotional connection. Being emotionally connected and satisfied is worth more than your spouse giving you a pile of money to spend everyday or sex every night but have no or very little emotional connection, believe it or not. IMHO~

[AeonFlexMusic]

so wat if we cheat, yall claim to be so strong minded and willed, deal with it lmao

[ka2eeba]

All men cheat with and without a reason. They always have to find a reason for them to cheat... its just in them and they cant help it.

I gave up believing there r good loyal men in this world. Its just bullshit!!!!

[GRice32]

I feel sorry for you. I agree with you that, generally speaking, men are selfish needy assholes. But keep your head up, there are in fact some men out there who are willing to love and cherish one and only one partner for their entire lives. Growing up I struggled through the pains of three divorces, all resulting from infidelity. However, my experiences caused me to develop my own belief, making me a much stronger person in the process. The destructiveness I've witnessed permits me to say that

[GRice32]

@ka2eeba I will never cheat on my spouse/life partner no matter what circumstances life presents. I feel your frustration equally as strong as you. However, it's imperative to realize know that good people are out there, myself being proof of this.

[ka2eeba]

@GRice32 Im happy to hear that and there is no need to be sorry for me. There is always good people in this life if they r all gone there wouldnt be a life. People are not saints and if they r strong enough they can change to being a better person. I was speaking in a moment of anger and what I see infront of me.

Your words really made me happy and wish u a happy long life with ur partner

[thenfm]

Most marriages today fail because men are emasculated by feminism to the point where they don't know how to keep their wife's bitch behavior in check. Finally there's a free resource out there to help men accomplish this and get their balls back: MANHOOD101. COM

[pigpenthecat]

@thenfm Hey I think you hit on something there. If they were men in the first place they would not betray their family by having an affair. Take repsonsiblity for their actions and stop play the victim roll.

[SheLovesG0D]

Most people do think men cheat because the mistress is cuter or more in shape, so that's interesting to hear that it's emotional since they say that's the main reason women cheat. But regardless, cheaters cheat. Non-cheaters don't cheat. Why try to stop a cheater from cheating when you can just date a man who will be faithful. Do a book on why women attract cheaters!

[MsTrizix]

@SheLovesG0D

Actually people change, there are a lot of factors as to why people cheat, and I know from personal experience that even if you have cheated before in other relationships, does not mean your going to forever cheat. I have changed a lot, because I love my man and would have changed the world if he had asked me to.

[ceeologyy]

why cheat? If you're not happy then leave

[thenfm]

Explaining why men cheat: MANHOOD101. COM .. letting women know the brutal truth..

[harrymudd7]

A man cheats because he's got a telephone pole swinging between his legs.

[americasfirstking]

I respect your answer and your work, but you are wrong padre. It is very simple. People cheat because they want to. Fullfillment and Excitement.

[TimpBizkit]

My oppinion is that cheating stems from people who settle for someone they are not totally in love with because they can't or it's too time consuming to find someone they are totally in love with that is also totally in love with them. That is the biggest cause for half assed relationships and when they do meet someone that catches their eye or heart, they are already attached.

[mgaryneuman]

Join M. Gary Neuman's Face Book fan page at M. Gary Neuman, for all the updates on Gary's new webshows, upcoming TV appearance and book updates.

Click on the top link above this comment to see M. Gary Neuman's Youtube channel, along with new webshows and answering questions to help you have a better marriage.

[lbuch80]

I think there are several reasons why men cheat. Some of them are the same reasons why women cheat too. Being bored, wanting something new, tring to find excitment... People change and sometimes their ideas/wants change with them. I guess it's just life. I don't think we should hate on men for cheating. Women do the same dang thing!

[victorialoggia77]

IF ? My or should I say when my husband cheats he will have for REAL

an emotional problem when I am done with him lol lol lol lol

ALL THE THERAPIST'S IN THE WORLD WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP HIM lol lol lol

[pigpenthecat]

@victorialoggia77 That is what my ex-husband found out. He has a real serious problem now.

[spharris65]

the emotional connection to which your cheaters refer is the maternal incestuous fantasies these ego maniacs want from a spouse but can not have because she/he is a parent to her/his own children. GROW UP and face your responsibilities.

the cheater cheats because HE or SHE does not value the wedding vows each made on the day of worldly commitment to one another. anything else is just a padded cell for them (the cheater) to use a s reality buffer from her/his true destructive priorities.

[ebonics4everyone]

@spharris65 It takes two to tango, and women will always stab other women in the back to be with a charismatic, powerful male. Women never let guys who respect women out of the "friend-zone."

[charlig69]

Of course is not about Sex. Women still think that it is about sex !!! LOL so naive.

[eboulter]

He's gotta lot of kids. They look like the Colgate family.

[shantheman89]

ITS NOT ABOUT SEX????

[elhayya]

You cannot prevent anyone from cheating. You can however improve your marriage and relationship situation so that the conditions/reasons for cheating are limited.

Cheating can never be "prevented" though. Wrong word choice.

[hcoprdice]

Do you ever wonder why your husband stays late at the office? I work for a large financial firm, and its always the men who stay late. I analyzed this when I first started working. Its not because they have lots of work to finish. No, no no. The truth is, they know that when they leave the office, they have to face the reality that they are married. So sad, but soooooo true. Dont believe me? Start analyzing others. Its not rocket science.

[hcoprdice]

Emotional Disconnection??? lolololol. What a complete joke. Of all my married friends, coworkers, relatives, etc, none have ever used this excuse. They take their wedding rings off when we go out for one reason; the thrill of possibly having sex with a different person. Thinking of how she looks naked. How her privates smell. How she tastes. How her pubic hair is trimmed. What kind of panties she wears. How she will respond to your touch. Its all pretty self explanatory and basic.

[hcoprdice]

Its so funny how people try to find excuses for why men cheat. Chris Rock said it best when he said men are only as faithfull as their options. Women are attracted to power, money, charm, good looks, sense of humor, security etc. But guess what, other women are attracted to that same man. When the option presents itself, and the guy believes he can get away with it, he takes the risk. Face it, its in our blood,. The man cant stop it, he can only hope to contain it.

[stupidkittydumdum]

Sure, some guys cheat for what they think are good reasons, but that doesn't it doesn't hurt like hell

[CMR1188]

How to prevent a man from cheating? I don't know how to prevent it the first time, but I sure know how to stop it from happening again. LEAVE HIM.

[pokermania117]

that's not a solution that just creates more problems

[andresayz4545]

ok so for those who criticize this video, i think a point is being missed here, ive seen this guy talk before and sometimes he comes off as letting men off the hook but this is far from the truth, when he talks about women appreciating their men he's not saying that women should do everything and get shit for it all the while worshipping their husbands, he saying the key to a healthy relationship is understanding and appreciation ON BOTH SIDES, if you dont have that there WILL BE resentment

[Firesexer]

Cheating men...don't even get me started. It's about THEM and their need to feed the insatiable ego.

[Malachai2012]

is it ok for women to cheat?

men and women cheat for the same reasons yet i see nobody complaining about women who cheat.

and thanks for the thumbs down

[pigpenthecat]

@Malachai2012 It is not right for anyone to betray another in this manner. It hurts deeper than anything you can go through, no matter if you are a man or a woman. Reading through the comments about lack of sex or not having enough sex, wow, how stupid. Never one word about love and loving the person. Cheating is wrong, and nothing anyone can come up with will ever make it excuseable.

[divanne77]

@pigpenthecat While it is true a cheater is responsible for his behaviour, withholding sex in a marriage , using it as a bargaining tool or for manipulation is unhealthy so much so that even the Bible warns us not to deny each other except by mutual agreement 'lest we fall into temptation'...I also acknowledge that the way a spouse treats you may make you feel unresponsive in the bedroom .but people do not marry to become celibate..denial of sex puts undue strain on the expectation of fidelity

[pigpenthecat]

@divanne77 Most of the time that is just an excuse. Most of the time these men are having sex with both or multiple partners. If they want to have sex with everyone, don't get married, don't make a commitment they don't intend to honor. I realized there are some times that the withholding of sex does happen, it is just as wrong as thecheater.

[divanne77]

@pigpenthecat No one is making excuses for anyone. A word is enough for the wise. If you think that by withholding sex it is easy for your partner to be faithful to you then good luck...That said not all men will resort to cheating though....Don't know how old you are but you will be very surprised to find out how many married men are denied physical intimacy in their marriage and that in itself is wrong...Ever heard of passive aggression?? People can treat their spouses unfairly in many ways

[pigpenthecat]

@divanne77 that was not the case in my situtation. He just wanted his cake and icing too. I feel sorry for those people who withhold love and affection to manipulate to gain what ever it is that they want. Believe me affection and love go both ways. It is sad that someone has someone who loves and cares for them, be it male or female. It is so wrong & abusive in my point of view. Love is not manipulative, hateful, or mean, and to with hold love is not a correct thing to do for either part.

[divanne77]

@pigpenthecat Out of curiosity..Pray tell, would you then justify a woman withholding sex from her husband or using it as a bargaining tool/manipulation tool (I am not talking about abusive partners here).. Does she have her 'reasons'..If so why not communicate it with her husband and resolve it?.If you hold an 'excuse' for this kind of behaviour, then the other side might as well have an 'excuse'...I believe they are BOTH wrong...and for Pete's sake why do women act like sex is a guy thing?

[pigpenthecat]

@divanne77 Absolutely not, I think I said that several times. It is not just a guy thing, regardless if women want to admit it or not, they do enjoy sex as well. I feel marriage is a very beautiful arrangement. People have made it into this ball and chain thing. They have forgotten love is to be fun, shared and lived and not just one part. It is crazy what some people do to their spouses and not done in love and they do not honor their vows. This may sound weird, but I believe it is sacred.

[CouplesLite]

very well done!

[maritimemama]

In the end - it's all about maturity.....and accountability for your actions.

[maritimemama]

And sorry for being so vocal about this - but it really hit a nerve - from a woman with six children (all of them planned and wanted by both my ex and me) The very title of this video pisses me off and I wish I could go on Oprah with this guy and duke it out... Another question comes to mind - WHY...if my man "STRAYS" should I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? (other than kick his sorry ass out - which I finally did - after the THIRD girlfriend)? Why is it MY fault? Don't think so - Tim.....

[2230185]

Tim never said it was the womans fault he is saying there are ways to prevent your husband from cheating and having a healthy marriage however it is the womans fault if she gets involved with a man who is clearly unfaithful and immature from the begining the signs are always there.

[maritimemama]

And you MEN need to GROW up - women handle the kids, the household, the bills and God knows what else in a marriage/relationship - and you're saying we have to pat YOU on the backs and reassure you what a great job you're doing on top of it all.....Oooooooohkay....I think the big thing here is men need to GROW UP! Fuck!

[simpleundies]

it would seem you have a hard life, a man who doesn't appreciate you as much as you want him to do so.

Also, it would be correct that you said most or some men should grow up. Do not speak on behalf of all males in this world because it would be unfair. It is the same if i were to say, all woman should take care of house hold more carefully.

[phantomofmyopera]

@maritimemama Generalize much?

[JBthree24]

@maritimemama and women aren't guilty of the same thing? Men cheat because they lack, or completely do not receive physical attention from their spouse because women think "all men want is sex" so they are programed not to give us sex. Women cheat because their spouse is not as successfull as their crush. therefore, men want sex and women want money. simple as that

[wilsonninetwentytrey]

@maritimemama sounds like you arent very appreciated eh eh?

[trottheblackdog]

@maritimemama So your definition of "grown up" is to have total emotional callouses and need no positive interaction whatsoever? Sounds like you need to grow up yourself.

[rjhome1]

@maritimemama And women need to get there ego's in check. I can cook better than 70% of women, I understand personal finances and economics better than probally 70% of the women and I know every single feature on my washing machine better than most housewives. Men do not need women. But I do agreen with you on one point. I sure and hell don't need your reassurance.

[yamasta103]

@maritimemama And whos life are you sucking away to care for these things? And your personal needs? It's a two way streak.

[HowSwedeIsThat]

@maritimemama

When the time come when you pay attention to the man inte the family, and not se him as a tool. But you´re right Grow up >> Fuck,

[LebaUkrainian2211]

@maritimemama i SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOO agree with you! God some men are just pathetic!

[maritimemama]

So the remaining 88% of men who cheated would have us believe that the reason they did it is because of "emotional disconnection" PLEASE! These are the SAME MEN who won't open up to their wives - who repeatedly, when asked if there's something wrong or do they want to talk..say "NO...nothing wrong, I'm fine"

[shanana000]

What happened to "Thou shall not committ adultry?" It's a command, not a compromise.

And who doesn't want to be appreciated? We all do!

[summerofmysmile]

People cheat because they want to, not because they are crippled from some kind of mental suffering or because something is missing in them or their life.

When their 'gut' signals they are doing something wrong but they choose to ignore it is the moment they can no longer claim that they did not know what they were doing or were not behaving as themselves; All excuses are null and void. Cheater is a label that is chosen through free will and is deliberate.

[Shad0wSquirrel]

I think ive seen this guy on TV

[KirstenMichelleL]

he goes on oprah

[Shad0wSquirrel]

no on another channel before maybe, maybe not

[summerofmysmile]

@IfTheLightTakesUS

You don't get it.

There were many other options other than an affair. You could have talked to a friend,counselor, etc. to help perhaps even resolve the problem or at the very least open lines of communication. You could have left the relationship until you were prepared to confront the problem with utter conviction.

You asked a question and I gave an honest answer.

Wishing you and yours well

[J0hnXZX]

summer, I agree with what you said about self happiness. Though you are kidding yourself if you think the opinion and actions of your 'life' partner is insignificant and has no responsibility for being a cause of straying.. (I hope your don't catch a surprise on your own relationship) .. It is the 'responsiblity' of BOTH members of a lifelong relationship to 'make' it last.. Healthy parts of a relationship are; Communication, Appreciation, Keeping things new, Sexual Gratification.

[summerofmysmile]

Just more bloody excuses, this is all I got from this video.

Frankly I'm sick of this shit. How about ppl get off their lazy ass' and do it for themselves. Validate, compliment, etc. one's self, STOP DEPENDING ON SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU!

If one is not happy with who they are no amount of nothing is going to make them happy.

I and ONLY I am responsible for (all aspects) my happiness. Maybe, just maybe this is the very reason I have never had an affair.

[KBadtower]

Humans are social beings.

If you can live you rlife like a cold blooded snake. Fine and dandy for you.

[summerofmysmile]

Embrace yourself along with your flaws. It is impossible to change ourselves for the better without first accepting who we really are - flaws and all.

[jameslostit]

Attention respect sex admiration compliments I did it all and he still had an affair. He had personal (internal emotional) and family issues (his family) that I payed the ultimate price for it!

It's a no win situation, do the right thing and still get F'ed over.

We may be together but I keep an emotional distance now, most likely always will...

[donkeytron666]

This guy is a charlatan, and he doesn't know anything about why when cheat. When men cheat, it's TOTALLY about sex.  He just wants women to buy his book.

[neothemagic]

OMG I didn't think anyone would figure out why men cheat.

[IfTheLightTakesUs]

Ok, I cheated on my gf, second base only tho, I didn't give oral and any actual sex, just touching. Why? Because I felt that I was not getting the attention I needed. She never gave me any physical attention and even when she did it was EXTREMELY rare. I dated her for 16 months, we never went beyond second base.

I cheated cause I wanted to feel loved, physical does that...more than women realize. So tell me, am I in the wrong cause she never showed that she loved me like she says she does?

[IfTheLightTakesUs]

And she never let me hold her or lay with her either. She left me completely isolated.

[nicaloveseveryone]

That's a shit situation. Did she have issues? I personally think 16 months is a really long time to be with someone and not be completely physical. There has to be a reason or reasons why she didnt want to go further. Hope everything is good with you now :)

x

[IfTheLightTakesUs]

She had issues with her rents (who doesn't), and she had problems trusting guys.

We broke up tho, she was upset but then again, she knew how I felt. I'm trying to stay friends with her just so I can keep an eye out for her. I don't like the idea of something bad happening to any of my ex's.

[summerofmysmile]

Don't fool yourself there is no ONLY!

YES you were in the WRONG!

You KNEW what you wanted! and were not getting (and knew you probably would never get from this relationship)

You should have been honest with her and more importantly honest with YOURSELF. You had ample opportunity to leave this relationship before you cheated.

You are just another cheater, how very sad.

[IfTheLightTakesUs]

She took me back just so you know, and our love is stronger because of it. So at least something came from it.

And btw, don't criticize people unless you've really been in their shoes or really understand the situation. Makes you look bad.

[witchbippy]

Possibly, but she will NEVER trust you again.

[menchiiscute1]

True true, thanks a lot <3

[folashade15]

ew ..hes saying women should treat their men like little babies and appreciate them!?

what about the man appreciating the woman?

not all men cheat...females dont have to treat their men like kings just so that they dont cheat..find a man who truly loves you and cheating isnt a concern...this guy is a fuckin IDIOT

[regalo1979]

i agree with you.

first and foremost, men and women should really be careful in "choosing" a partner/lifetime partner. be not impulsive and think "oh! we have many things in common!" that's not it. if a man or woman is showing irresponsibility, neglegence, dominance, agressiveness, etc. early in the relationship, then it's a great sign not to marry this person. according to the Bible, the woman should submit to their husbands but the husbands must protect, care and love their wives...

[youngatnaruto]

he's not saying that he's sayin try to appreciate them for wat they do. d.a

[empear01]

That's totally not what he's saying at all. It sounds that the idea is that men also can become emotionally disconnected from their partner. A successful relationship requires work from both parties. I think this guy is just emphasizing the fact that people think "guys just cheat because they're dogs, or want sex"; but really, he's just saying they need that emotional connection, just like women do. BOTH men and women need/should treat their partners with love and attention.

[Tocher35Productions]

lol... he is saying that be cause society has made men to feel macho, instead of good loving fathers and husbands. At the end of the day, most men struggle with how to be nice but at the same time not look like a pussy, cause the media drives us towards a sex first enviorment. When you trust and talk openly esspcailly with a man that isn't open in coversation, then you give me a greater ability to transfere those years of repressed emotion against treating a woman like a lover instead of meat.

[Tocher35Productions]

I seen in 1000 times i grew up in a father less neighborhood in my ghetto, and I try to help young men with that. But also it is 50/50and men have to in turn basically are womens man servents when we truly love them lol... the good ones are at least... Pout have a great day.

[IfTheLightTakesUs]

So what about the guys who do treat you right? The ones who worship the very ground you walk on? Is it right to deny them of all forms of attention? Big great hugs, holding you, caressing you, making you feel loved? Is it right to isolate us like that?