THINGS YOU WON'T HEAR IN A GARDENING PROGRAMME - Mock the Week Series 9 Episode 5 Preview - BBC Two

[icefordpal]

lol stumpy jeff!!

[Kaynas1988]

I don't know why I just think Chris Addison is attractive anyway away from that ''If, you're into naked gardening then here's a tip be careful of what you do with the shears''

[AngusTheWolf]

if you notice you plants staring to beg for a feeding, run like the fucking wind.

[commiekiller1989]

what, no hoe jokes?

[Mastikno1]

die screaming audience die!!!!

[SweetACAforever]

2:23 i dont get it

[bluesteelsaxophone]

@SweetACAforever on that episode they spent ages mocking Dara for having a big head cos an article in a newspaper said something like "people who have a large head, such as Dara O'Brien"

[jennifermartin92]

the plot thickens. genius.

[TheLPfan2000]

The plot thickens joke is pretty clever actually. You've got to have a veyry good sense of humour to get that

[xilent234]

please stop quoting quotes that is not needed to be quoted because we've already heard the quote. 

[randomsmil3s4u]

this show is sooooooooo addicting!

[juggy2006]

@randomsmil3s4u addictive...

[PowerTheQwerty]

AH HA! The comedians are all men...this should be good

[JesterUK2]

Frankie is gone. Get over it.

[popazz1]

No Frankie Boyle hogging the limelight = BLISS!

[matrixphijr]

I'm sorry, but I love when they make fun of Dara, if only for the "The shit I put up with" look at 2:25. I'd like to see him get revenge on some of these guys 'cause I know it would be hilarious.

[VoChaos]

I noticed in quite some MtW-videos on YT that Russell tries to cash in on other peoples jokes. Bit of a shame, since he's very well able to make the occasional good original joke.

[MisterYass]

no frankie... no fun...

[mehusernamemeh]

*Insert comment about inserting joke from video to gain multiple likes from the retarded viewers to gain multiple likes from all the other viewers*

[TehAlmightyBradders]

@mehusernamemeh no.

[steeeism]

YOU SHALL NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE! -3

[lovinmusicevryday]

Who's blocking my light? Dara could you just...? :P Hahahaha

[dalektaliban]

@360XPrO HURR DURR

[0llieshrieve]

@360XPrO ok then... ''DO NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE!''

[360XPrO]

@0llieshrieve BOOM!

[Kydos37]

@360XPrO Ironically enough I've seen your comment on about ten MTW vids

[360XPrO]

@Kydos37 Hmm, yeah, considering I only left it on this one, that's a bit odd.

[Kydos37]

@360XPrO Well if you've only left it once and the first time I saw it was months ago then I guess you must have just ripped it off

[360XPrO]

@Kydos37 Haha, that makes no sense bud. I have never left that comment more than once. Now fuck off please?

[Kydos37]

@360XPrO You're an idiot, I know you've never left it more than once, the original joke was that everybody just quotes the video to get top comment but the irony is that you have ripped off that joke to get top comment because now that's all people say on these videos. If you can't see the irony then there's not much hope for you in life I'm afraid

[360XPrO]

@Kydos37 GO THE FUCK AWAY. I LEFT A COMMENT THAT PEOPLE LIKED! I've had a shitty morning and I can't be assed to deal with stupid pricks commenting to me. And mate, I have NEVER left that comment anywhere else.

[Kydos37]

@360XPrO Once again, I know you never left it anywhere else, you stole it, you're just being silly now because you know you stole it

[360XPrO]

@Kydos37 Mate FFS, I NEVER stole this comment. If you're as passionate about telling me I've stolen it as you actually are, go and find the supposed 'stolen' comment, and copy and paste the video link to me. I guarantee you, you will not find it! Hahaahaha

[Kydos37]

@360XPrO Check out "Things You Don't Want To Hear In A Hospital" then, the second top comment is two months old i.e. older than yours and isn't even the line you stole, its making fun of the line you stole so the line itself is even worn out by then because dicks like you keep repeating it

[imtoodevious]

careful what you with the SHEEERS!

[xXDinoman1997Xx]

Stewart Francis reminds me of Harrison Ford.

[DjDafader]

can u pls refrain from spoiling the jokes in the comment section? kthnx..

[rachelisinsane]

i love how half the jokes were done in a west country accent...

[chloereelx3]

comment box, other wise known as where to repeat a joke you just heard in the video

[851852093114208513]

‎"The plot thickens..!" LMAO

[sarsfield1998]

Now, Now, No need to repeat what we have just watched on the Video in the comments. :)

[xBioHazard3795x]

@JamesOhGoodie stop posting the fucking jokes as comments, we came here to watch the video

[scullybug1]

1:50 

[bluelazy123]

@LittleLadySmurf @TheHonestCommenter Its actully a creeper from  the game called minecraft.. They go Sssss... and then blow up.

[iamadramaqueen96]

Russell Howard is so Lush<3

[OriginalYTName]

Russell always comes out with weird names, Stumpy Geoff, Gimpy Terry etc.. lol

[Alizastack]

they always have to bring in chlamydia, don't they?

[Oxocubesrule]

Stumpy Geoff is a legend.

[Jakhjam]

In this episode, we are going to teach, how to deflower a womans garden

[TehMarshMellowMan]

keep pressing 0 and it looks like Russell is wanking :L

[kakashimagnusbane]

Russell what are you doing in Andy's garden??

[pretenditsagoodworld]

@kakashimagnusbane he's having a piss

[Szaam]

1:35 I think there's some women in the audience who want a piece of Andy Parsons.

[SJtv123]

2:32.....

[lizzzthelizzardono]

the plot thickens...

[lilythebird]

1:37 he flips him off!! :O

[Dwayne17H]

Things you won't hear on a gardening programme: And that my friends is how to grow marijuana

[LaoGahn]

XD Things you won't hear on a gardening programme: Incidentally this beautiful and exotic plant is also great for sticking your willie in.

[jds461]

Things you won't hear in a gardening programme: the best place to plant this tree would be over there, but thats where the body's are.

[kellybradford23]

"and thats how you bring a fox to orgasm"

[yokoraitashi]

YOU WILL NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE!!!

[ellenmelon771]

Anyone notice Russell's face at 1:50, at those girls screaming for almost no reason? ;P xXx

[DiamShadowWraith]

@WoodymanTHEJ FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

[TheHonestCommenter]

@WoodymanTHEJ sorry i dont get it please explain...

[rastadragon]

@TheHonestCommenter I'm thinking he may be a fan of a different channel (bluexephos), there is a guy there who uses a similar saying as his 'catchphrase' when commentating on games

[WoodymanTHEJ]

@rastadragon You're thinking correctly.

[LittleLadySmurf]

@TheHonestCommenter It's a snake in the garden.

[PowderedAsh]

@WoodymanTHEJ Bloomin' Yognaughts get everywhere... ;)

[aaron9099]

@WoodymanTHEJ OH..MY..GOD a Yogscast reference on a Mock the Week video.

best combo ever.

[WoodymanTHEJ]

@aaron9099 I thought I'd better do it before a Skyrimmer gets top comment. AGAIN.

[iJamesJH]

@WoodymanTHEJ is dat supposed to be a creeper...?hahaha

[WoodymanTHEJ]

@iJamesJH Hmm... more like Simon's Creeper Voice. :D

[TheAk3m1]

@WoodymanTHEJ i dont get it?

[WoodymanTHEJ]

@TheAk3m1 It's an internet meme for the Creeper in a game called Minecraft. In short, a Creeper blows up & destroys things you've built.

[olliepfc94]

"he ain't lying, is good money!" :L

[KitsuneProject]

"Professor McGonigal, Mrs Sprout needs you to take on killer weed that were left by Lord Voldamort"

[KitsuneProject]

"Bad news, Bambi. Thumper's dead, me and Friend Owl dug him up this morning"

[KitsuneProject]

"Buried Treasure?, Bollocks"

[KitsuneProject]

"Don't go to the graveyard, Grave Diggers operate outside the church"

[KitsuneProject]

"Don't go outside!, My Mutant Plant wants feeding"

[GriddledSardines]

Rampant rabbit joke was soooooo funny xD

[curruptofficial]

YOU WILL NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE !! - i laughed hard

[TheOnlyGriff]

russell howard is fucking gorgeous....xD

[MsEarthangel666]

Whoah.... Ed Byrne's hair is longer than I remember :)

[shrevesy12]

Why are all the top comments lines from the clip? I've just watched it, I don't need to be reminded. Thanks!

[Tellmeimaninja]

@shrevesy12 Because people point out the lines they enjoy and other people agree.

I thought that was rather simple.

[KeepmetalalivE100]

YOU WILL NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE

[Movie777Maker]

8 people were members of time team...

[JamesOhGoodie]

YOU WILL NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE!

[animegril13X3]

@JamesOhGoodie like hell i will *nom nom nom nom* XD

[50CaliberElliot]

@emperorelagabalus Canada = America Lite

[niclasjt]

@50CaliberElliot Right, like Scotland = England Dark or Ireland = Britain West.

[50CaliberElliot]

@niclasjt take a fucking joke mate

[lerasai]

@50CaliberElliot Canada = America's hat. :D

[AliasFail]

2:16 outrageously good timing & delivery

[ellenmelon771]

Hahahahahahahahaha can't get enough of these at the mo! XD xXx

[CloverCATOREE]

who's the comedian at 1:55 and the one right before him? :D hilarious

[rachel96XxX]

@CloverCATOREE its ed byrne :)

[LoveYouFredF]

Russell Howard looks so hot with glasses.......mmmm (I WOULD!)

[TheBargar]

@LoveYouFredF He would look even hotter on fire ....

[LoveYouFredF]

@TheBargar ohh yeahhh;)

[TheBargar]

@LoveYouFredF No not really..... as that would be just a waste of good fire... lol

[LoveYouFredF]

@TheBargar :D not really! too be honest hes to hot for that! :D hahah!

[TheBargar]

@LoveYouFredF you should have gone to spec savers lol

[LoveYouFredF]

@TheBargar Haha! :D Yeah! would have gotten a really good deal! ;) but seriouslly Russell Howard is hot as! :D<3

[TheBargar]

@LoveYouFredF Ok but only because you said " seriously " lol

[LoveYouFredF]

@TheBargar HaHa:) Lawl:)<3

[ellenmelon771]

@LoveYouFredF Yes, yes and thrice yes!!! XD xXx

[LoveYouFredF]

@ellenmelon771 haha! :D <3

[ZeroSuitMetroid]

"And if you leave it for about four or five years, it should be JUST the right height... to piss behind." lol best line

[emma1981catlover]

be careful what you do with the SHEARS lol

[Theeggthingy1]

(:-{)

(;-/\

:•D

[thewoopdeedoo]

I love the way that Russell andAndy have something going on in this.

:D

[Tomahawknutter]

ed has a OCP top on, ROBOCOP FUCK YEAH !!!!

[TheSuperNinjaa]

GENIUS

[EddyBear360]

1:13 Oh my god I pissed myself :')

[nromk]

gnomes hahah and tree on knowledge hahah

[DarkGodCthulhu]

I really want God to have an Irish accent now.

[DoveAlexa]

@DarkGodCthulhu Would explain why he wasn't taken seriously.

[TheKid1551]

`they shhould let dara do a joke on Scenes We Like To See

[squaferno]

When without material on the subject, mock the Dara.

[TheCookiepop6]

The plot thickens ;)

[FOOTYMTW]

I love ed brynes clamydia joke LOOOL

[samtheman485]

and after 4-5 years it should be the right height..to piss behind

the pause was everything in that joke

[greatsayain]

was ed byrne wearign an OCP t shirt?

[TheLaceratedSky]

Whats the joke behind the one at 2:23?

[clinmaan]

@TheLaceratedSky the joke is that they are actully recording it in a studio and not a real garden

[TheLaceratedSky]

@clinmaan Ah thanks....Damn, I'm slow!XP

[alexab4]

@clinmaan the joke is before in the episode there was an article about dara's big head so he made a joke out of it

[clinmaan]

@alexab4 oh, ok... i've never seen the full episode since i dont have bbc, thanks for clearing that up m8

[TheLaceratedSky]

The plot thickens....CLASSIC!:D

[chloe02051]

what does the first guy say at 0.10 ????

[RhamanaChan]

@chloe02051 'If you're into naked gardening, heres a tip. Be careful what you do with the shears!' He squeals the shears because apparently, you're gonna cut your bits off with them if you aren't careful :p

[chloe02051]

@RhamanaChan thank youu :)

[TheDarkFrontier]

And in four or five years, it should be just the right height .... to piss behind

[fudgeface202]

Russells face at 1:17 lol

[Ikelepte]

"Just the right height to piss behind." The expression on his face is fantastic :D

[SophiieeBabyy1]

Keep pressing 0

then look at Russell ;D 

[pkmnguy2010]

@SophiieeBabyy1 immature

[SophiieeBabyy1]

@SophiieeBabyy1 your dad didnt complain...

[TYTHERDGOON]

@SophiieeBabyy1 Like the way you didn't actually respond to him. :P

[TMan5636]

lol Stumpy Jeff

[xXGoLdEn8BoYXx]

4 people ate from the tree of knowledge

[DiamondDanny]

hahaha the plot thickens.....

[niclasjt]

just the right height... to piss behind.

[irishmma1]

Hugh is always the best :) him and Frankie where brilliant.

[TheFregster]

I love it when Hugh swings his arms after his joke :L

[ariacle]

The plot thickens....

[buck9393]

Jesus for the last time frankie is a scruffy ginger sheep shagger and though he may be funny occasionally 99% of the time he is just obscene and russel is an immature twat. If you want real comedy watch Jack Dee, Rich Hall or Andy Parsons.

[byebyefeather]

@buck9393 live a little

[littlemissweetxx]

@buck9393 oh shut up!

[spiritfired]

2:26 face!! LOL!!!

[ShasOKaiis]

You're both complete idiots.

This isn't even an argument its a game of who can throw the most pathetic / immature insult at each other.

[TheMysticmusti]

sigh i seem to have trouble watching some mock the week video's i can watch alot of them but there are quite a few "not availeble in my country" does anyone know a country where i can watch every single video?

[TheIgraenne]

@TheMysticmusti Britain, I suppose. 

[macman152]

I have one - 'It's goodbye from simon and from me, Rose West'

[WhoNeedsAhUserName]

I feel sorry for Dara and his massive head :L

[blackbeltste]

Fucking shitty shit shit pre-written pretends to be ad libbed shit. I watched this in the hope it had changed. It hasnt. shit. Oh and it isn't funny. Deal with it.

[RyderFly89]

@blackbeltste obviously have no sense of humour, fuck off.

[blackbeltste]

@RyderFly89 Or my humour dwells far above yours, moron.

[ShasOKaiis]

@blackbeltste

Or maybe you both have different opinions.

[blackbeltste]

@ShasOKaiis Don't ruin my fun, I don't want him looking up the words subjective and opinion.

[RyderFly89]

@blackbeltste well done, your humour 'dwells' above mine, like that is some sort of achievement , go do one you little wanker

[blackbeltste]

@RyderFly89 lulz. Im 7"12 mate.

[RyderFly89]

@blackbeltste 'lulz' your a twat.

[blackbeltste]

@RyderFly89 Your or you're?