Albert Ellis is such an effective therapist ... he displays a balance between compassion and corrective guidance ..... he gives such agreat advice .... " Be yourself ! " .... I cant think of anything more kind to say to someone .... he is effectively saying to her that she is fine as she is and shouldnt be afraid .... that disappointment and frustration is just an evitable component of life and she should relax and be herself ......
Read my questions again. I stand by a non-commitment with minority. This idea that you don't get hurt if you don't get involved, thereby neglecting the person's real DESIRE and attempting to foster the best the person is capable of so they can grow into the person they wish to be and therefore become able to start a relationship with someone is what everyone in these comments seem to be missing. People are capable of a lot more - I never said Gloria has everything figured out, therapy sorts it.
Being rejected by another will only leave you broken if your self worth is invested in this external locus of evaluation (in PCT , or "driver / script" in TA / etc .... pick your phrase according to your modality), which is basically an unhealthy state to be in...
Portubed......Surely pretty much all therapy comes from a belief that the individual being able to to find sense of worth from within rather than relying on the acceptance of others is integral to self-actualization? Although I too find Ellis a little hurried and preachy his underlying reasoning runs along the lines of most common psychotherapeutic understanding, so where does the issue with the "praxis" comes from?
Though I'd admit that his technique is way too rude and that he tends to suppress nuances (which on the other hand could be seen as reasonable). However, that does not mean that the general idea is wrong. In the bigger picture he answers the questions Porturbed deems unnoticed by trying to alter the way she perceives herself ("be confident instead of anxious, there's really nothing you can lose"). He might have been a bit pushy, because he did not have much time for this session, too.
You don't seem to know how happy it makes you feel to become more or even utterly self-reliant and independent from the opinions of others and how deeply satisfactory it is to be loved for who you really are instead of your services and masquerade. This is my definition of maturity.
@Portubed hes teaching women to think differently about rejection so her ego remains emotionally intact afterward. before, she blamed her own shortcomings for every rejection. now, she blames the rejection on the incompatibility between two unlike people. he is teaching people to adopt different schools of thinking which i think you find "philosophically" dangerous.
"Take the more elligible individual, any kind" - "The worst that can happen is getting rejected"... Damn, this guy is absolutely clueless and like she said, actually brazen. He never gets to the actual problem: what can I do to understand or overcome my anxiety next to someone? How can I handle someone who is better than me and still loves me? How do I make myself better so I can attract someone better? How do I keep looking for someone better and not settle for what's relatively eligible?
@Portubed her anxiety stems from her insecurity; she is worried that men will not like her true identity, so she feels pressured to become someone else. unfortunately, she fails at acting. the doctor will not teach her dating skills to get the man, because he feels in the long run, she wont be happy; she is trying to change her true identity to grab a rich guy rather than find a poor guy who shares the same entertainment. however, Patty from Matchmaker Millionaire does this for a fee.
anyone feel like counting the number of words said by client and therapist? Ellis looked nervous when he stopped talking...as if he couldn't sustain it for very long with any degree of comfort
Hi, The point here is this style of therapy addresses people going "everytime i open my big mouth i put my foot in it" so instead of dressing it up and pussy footing therapist goes in and says "open your big mouth and keep doing it, see, the foot is going in less often, see it's stopped.." and "hey look you are holding your own!"
Albert Ellis is such an effective therapist ... he displays a balance between compassion and corrective guidance ..... he gives such agreat advice .... " Be yourself ! " .... I cant think of anything more kind to say to someone .... he is effectively saying to her that she is fine as she is and shouldnt be afraid .... that disappointment and frustration is just an evitable component of life and she should relax and be herself ......
pedagogyagent 10 months ago
ellis is preaching
rick6176 11 months ago
@rick6176 how he is preaching? i dont percive that, please explain
samuelsixvids 8 months ago
Read my questions again. I stand by a non-commitment with minority. This idea that you don't get hurt if you don't get involved, thereby neglecting the person's real DESIRE and attempting to foster the best the person is capable of so they can grow into the person they wish to be and therefore become able to start a relationship with someone is what everyone in these comments seem to be missing. People are capable of a lot more - I never said Gloria has everything figured out, therapy sorts it.
Portubed 1 year ago
i love u ellis
Salvac88 1 year ago
Being rejected by another will only leave you broken if your self worth is invested in this external locus of evaluation (in PCT , or "driver / script" in TA / etc .... pick your phrase according to your modality), which is basically an unhealthy state to be in...
ucrtherapyworks 1 year ago
Portubed......Surely pretty much all therapy comes from a belief that the individual being able to to find sense of worth from within rather than relying on the acceptance of others is integral to self-actualization? Although I too find Ellis a little hurried and preachy his underlying reasoning runs along the lines of most common psychotherapeutic understanding, so where does the issue with the "praxis" comes from?
ucrtherapyworks 1 year ago
Though I'd admit that his technique is way too rude and that he tends to suppress nuances (which on the other hand could be seen as reasonable). However, that does not mean that the general idea is wrong. In the bigger picture he answers the questions Porturbed deems unnoticed by trying to alter the way she perceives herself ("be confident instead of anxious, there's really nothing you can lose"). He might have been a bit pushy, because he did not have much time for this session, too.
zinyadu 1 year ago
Comment removed
zinyadu 1 year ago
You don't seem to know how happy it makes you feel to become more or even utterly self-reliant and independent from the opinions of others and how deeply satisfactory it is to be loved for who you really are instead of your services and masquerade. This is my definition of maturity.
zinyadu 1 year ago
Ellis is defending a praxis that is philosophically and emotionally dangerous. To say that being rejected leaves you intact is preposterous.
Portubed 1 year ago
@Portubed hes teaching women to think differently about rejection so her ego remains emotionally intact afterward. before, she blamed her own shortcomings for every rejection. now, she blames the rejection on the incompatibility between two unlike people. he is teaching people to adopt different schools of thinking which i think you find "philosophically" dangerous.
SpecialGuy21 1 year ago
"Take the more elligible individual, any kind" - "The worst that can happen is getting rejected"... Damn, this guy is absolutely clueless and like she said, actually brazen. He never gets to the actual problem: what can I do to understand or overcome my anxiety next to someone? How can I handle someone who is better than me and still loves me? How do I make myself better so I can attract someone better? How do I keep looking for someone better and not settle for what's relatively eligible?
Portubed 1 year ago
@Portubed her anxiety stems from her insecurity; she is worried that men will not like her true identity, so she feels pressured to become someone else. unfortunately, she fails at acting. the doctor will not teach her dating skills to get the man, because he feels in the long run, she wont be happy; she is trying to change her true identity to grab a rich guy rather than find a poor guy who shares the same entertainment. however, Patty from Matchmaker Millionaire does this for a fee.
SpecialGuy21 1 year ago
anyone feel like counting the number of words said by client and therapist? Ellis looked nervous when he stopped talking...as if he couldn't sustain it for very long with any degree of comfort
daleitmotif 1 year ago
I love his approach, no beating around the bush, he told it like it was.
kimberlym0433 1 year ago 3
didn- t like his aproach at all
koukouroukou82 1 year ago
"open your big mouth" oh man this guy has no interpersonal skills
robboholic 1 year ago
@robboholic
Hi, The point here is this style of therapy addresses people going "everytime i open my big mouth i put my foot in it" so instead of dressing it up and pussy footing therapist goes in and says "open your big mouth and keep doing it, see, the foot is going in less often, see it's stopped.." and "hey look you are holding your own!"
ralphhgraham 1 year ago 3
lol
benjas4888 2 years ago
I'm cured!
seanabceddy 2 years ago