Dealing with Difficult People Versus Them Dealing with You!

[diligentsoul11]

Very convicting when it is us as parents vs our teenage son. I've recognized this very thing happening over and over but don't know what to do to break it

[BillCPhD]

@diligentsoul11 - Thanks, If you are wanting to know what to do about it, I suggest you get my book entitled "How to Get Kids To Do What You Want." I have this as either a paperback book, an audio book on 4 CDs, or an audio download. You can find descriptions of these by visiting the "Store" on my website just Google Bill Crawford, Ph.D. to access the site. Hope this helps:-)  Dr. Bill

[benjaminvillalta19]

bing!

[mostafahabib1]

out standing 

[BillCPhD]

Thanks for all the kind words and I'm pleased that you are finding this information to be valuable. Since I have taped this PBS special I have added additional information on how the brain influences conflict and how we can influence the brain. Feel free to google "Bill Crawford, Ph.D." and check out the new information on my website:-)

[Kreazil]

awesome video, very educational

[BillCPhD]

We will certainly look into redoing it - and in the meantime, you can get a high quality DVD of this PBS special at my website. Thanks, Bill

[PsalmHymnSamHim]

could you re-do this video, because the quality is very poor.

.

Cheers.

from,

del-boy.

[techracer2003]

The point is the cycle of conflict or escalation never ends because everyone is crazy

[snake007ca]

what mindless drivel

[BillCPhD]

Great! If this works well for you, meaning that they hear what you are telling them as valuable information and change, congratulations!. Unfortunately,most people report that trying give a difficult person data is rarely effective. That's because they have to be in the rational part of the brain to process data. Therefore, my new book and presentations teach people how to engage others so that they shift from the resistant brain to the receptive brain. Visit my website for more info.

[Mimio100987]

@BillCPhD Hi I'm in a therapy group and I told someone I didn't like them, they began ranting and raving. Even though I was calm throughout the situation and was willing to listen to their POV, they walked off and was brought back after cursing at me. This person keeps using "blame tactics" and using the other members of groups as "ammunition". I had noticed this behavior throughout the group and this is the reason why I dislike them.

[IoAmoIshi]

As a Manager, I always encounter difficult people and your correct at times my emotions eats me up but immediately after I would come to my senses and say "wait a minute, why should I go down to their level? why don't I just tell the person the facts why everything happened and the effects if we continuously tolerate such behavior.

[blkcola]

Boring... pointless....

[WolfEyesatNight]

or Jay Leno.

[WolfEyesatNight]

Do the same video ..but have Jim Carey as the speaker.

[doggsector]

Continued-I am reading Peter Drucker's book (Management) as a refresher course, but one of the problems that I am having with the three women in my department is that they are chronically late, highly emotional and explosive and they attribute anything I say to them to "racism." They are African American and I am white. I don't have a prejudice bone in my body and I have other people who are Hispanic and African American who have no problems. This is a very difficult situation.

[BillCPhD]

Looking at both of your comments, I think I see the problem. The solution, however, may require more than this space will allow and more information than is in this video. For example, we now know that when people are upset they are coming from the lower 20% of the brain and will therefore hear any suggestion that they change as criticism and react defensively (meaning that they will defend the very behavior you want them to change). Contact me if you are interested in how to overcome this.

[doggsector]

I am a manager at a Department Store very much like Macy's. I have three employees who are downright hostile. One woman was 45 minutes late last Friday and is chronically late. When she does work she is good but when I asked her why she was late she began screaming and yelling in the middle of the floor. I wrote her up for insubordination and being late but I am hoping to save her, but I have my doubts.

[BillCPhD]

Thanks! If you liked this, I encourage you to visit my website. Love to have your thoughts on it if you do:-) Thanks, Bill

[jklpoi9]

Outstanding ! Please add more videos!

[uzi2004]

Very interesting!

[BhgytMpoiu]

No way out man Russian women **leefoxnow.info**

[movadoband]

This sounds like a methinks myself right and you wrong, might is right in this world today.

[elfilalysamira]

Thank you

Am actually going to use the fist game with students in my class!

[BillCPhD]

Great - You might want to have them divide into pairs or trios  so that no one is left out and have the trios be composed of a's b's and c's with the c's being observers - then you can ask them what they observed.

[Missbrown61035]

ok how do u deal with 6th graders and confusion, i have taught my 11 yr old that when u have a problem with another child try and talk calmly 2 one another but it not workin the other child does understand this and then want 2 fight plz help

sign< upset and confused mommie

[BillCPhD]

The challenge is that most kids don't have the ability to "talk calmly" when they are upset. Therefore, if a calm discussion is to be had it will almost certainly be "later" after everyone has calmed down. A lot of this has to do with the fact that kids (and anyone) is in the "fight or flight" part of the brain when they are upset and thus are not open to calm talk. I suggest you allow your daughter to "talk things over" with you but don't try to talk to her friends until some time has passed

[Missbrown61035]

@BillCPhD Thanks so much i will try this

[Fibrousoil]

hi, this series was quite helpful. but is there something available on dealing with difficult ''patients''? im sure the same rules apply, but, clinical matters make things more complicated, and perhaps need a different approach. any suggestions anybody? BILLCPhD?

[BillCPhD]

Sure, I have a new book (and series of presentations) that looks at the emotions and behavior of others in terms of what part of the brain is generating their resistance. Feel free to Google "Bill Crawford, Ph.D." for more information:-) Bill

[torosalvajebcn]

Is there a book that I could read about the subject? Thanks.

[BillCPhD]

Sure, I have a paperback by the same name as the YouTube video. Plus, my latest hard cover "Life from the Top of the Mind" goes into detail on how to use the information in the PBS special as well as new info on engaging others in a more purposeful and successful manner. Feel free to visit my website:-) Bill

[Sneakfreek95]

I'm leading a JROTC platoon and the cadets are my age how do I get them to differniate me as a superior in the classroom as opposed to outside in school?

[BillCPhD]

I suggest you tap into their desire to be seen as soldiers and to behave as soldiers. You can acknowledge that outside the class you are just a friend. And, (not "but") our goal inside the class is to practice working together as a military unit. This means you, as their leader, have certain duties and responsibilities and they have the responsibility to interact with you the way they would any superior officer. in other words make all of this about behaving as real soldiers would behave.

[nununcle]

I manage a team of international and local staff in a developing country. Some of the latter complain that while performing the same tasks as the former they are paid much less due to their "local" status. It is not possible to adapt salary grid. How can I solve this conflict?

[hustlegrl22]

I am able to let things go when dealing with difficult and am able to coexist peacefully. The problem with me is when a friend or loved one has to deal with a difficult person. That makes me get worked up. How do I deal when someone has hurt someone else that I love?

[BillCPhD]

It is certainly harder to deal with situations such as these - And - Just to be sure I know what you are asking . . . Are you wanting help in not getting "worked up" or are you asking how to help your loved one?

Thanks, Bill

[hustlegrl22]

That's the thing. My loved one seems to have a better "grip" on the situation than I do. I want to be strong for him and get over it. I'm tired of giving so much energy to this person who had inflicted a lot of pain. He told me to day that one day she will reap what she sew and that it is important to do the right thing. I just want to stop feeling so negative and having hate in my heart.

[y00n1x]

I don't know if he is or not but I have this problem...someone will get me worked up inside and i don't show it but I just become quiet and try to remove myself from the area. why is this....its so hard to talk at those times too.

[pukeachu]

Was this on PBS, Doc?

[BillCPhD]

Yep. Around 2002. Since then I have added more material on how certain behavior in people (difficult and otherwise) about how we can engage people so that they shift from their resistant brain to their receptive brain and hear what we are saying. Feel free to visit my website for more information. Thanks, Dr. Bill Crawford

[IlIIllIllIllIIllIIll]

@hustlegrl22 good luck....

[SmithBrotha]

It has been my experience, that most difficult people suffer from deeply rooted inferiority complexes and insecurities. Most people who truly love themselves, are happy and content, and have no desire to be rude and insensitive to others!

[BillCPhD]

I couldn't agree more. In fact, in my new book "Life from the Top of the Mind" I talk about how "difficult" behavior comes from the lower 20% of the brain that is engaged by fear. Thanks for writing:-) Bill Crawford, Ph.D.

[AjfromDamons]

This video is very helpful. I lost a job, almost two because I snapped at a guy who deserved to be snapped at. I don't have a temper, but on the other side I wasn't grown up to take people's unadulterated shit. It ended up him with a busted up face and me getting fired at a very high paying job.

[neoaimee]

This helped, my mom was like I gave you a cookie and I said no I didn't eat it. She said yes you did and I said no I didn't! It just kept going on like a cycle. I told her it's petty stuff and she clamed down finally. Also people who do rude comments on my vids I just block them simple as that.

[BillCPhD]

Great to hear that this was helpful and the fact that you can understand the value of not arguing about petty issues should serve you well in all your future relationships. Congratulations! :-) Bill

[AmusedChild]

Sorry, this is not my experience. I never lost my temper, became defensive, or got angry with the bully in my office. I acquiesced and agreed, and killed her with kindness, and she became even MORE angry, badmouthing me absurdly. Therefore I made sure that as many people as far up the ladder as I could witnessed her abusive behavior, and I must say that she accommodated me beautifully by behaving like a spoiled, conceited brat. Some people are truly wicked, immature, and incompetent.

[bltork]

Thanks! This vid really help ALOT! I won't argue difficult people on youtube anymore. Let them say all they want. No one can help them but themselves.

[OneEyedJack1970]

I thought the lesson of the fist was strike first, strike hard, no mercy, sir.

[Aelliotb]

Funny and informative, he is a very good speaker

[nextor123]

I dont like the "sense of humor" many american speakers have, they should say a couple of hilarius comments, and thats it.

[Etilema]

Why?

[privateny]

great video! i like it!!

[newmillionaires]

Really great to land on this. Info I needed and I'm glad to share. Thanks for making the world a better place.

Steve

[unrulytruthmonger]

Dr. Crawford is my latest personal hero... great vid!

[tracy10UT]

Interesting, but I'm not quite sure yet how to deal with the difficult types I MOST meet, and those are women in general, who are so disorganized they allow themselves about 2 minutes to get every single duty done and then become totally outraged when the process takes three to five minutes blaming everyone else around them for their bad planning time.

[researchfiend]

This is really good stuff. Well done lecture providing information about better interpersonal relationships.

[rskolkata2008]

great video...real good help...

[mydog8u2]

My goodness, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. People like me often ignore clear, common sense stuff because we're so clouded by immediate emotions and trapped in the cycle of conflict. You just knocked some sense in to me. Thank you. I needed to hear this.

[lumpytrousers]

awesome vid!

[iceangelshrink]

This is a wonderful resource for those seeking a comprehensive and concise approach to conflict resolution. I would like to add that your commentary regarding the futility of trying to forcibly open a closed fist brought to mind a quote that I thought was particularly applicable: "He who goes against his will is of his own opinion still". Thank you for sharing your expertise and making this wonderful resource available to the general public via youtube :)

[CheriS33]

OMyGosh! THis describes my relationship with my mother in law to a tee. She is a chronically agressive difficult person. My relationship with her ended about six months after I lost my husband, because of the horrible insults she flung, which today affect me right down to my soul, that's why I stopped talking to her. But I realized something too, I've become the exact same difficult person... and who wants to be just like my MIL! Ech! Not me! Thanx

[RammsteinAdicct]

Thank you very much for posting this!

[BillCPhD]

Hey, my pleasure - Thanks for letting me know how much you enjoyed it! - Please feel free to let me know if I can be of any help in the future:-) Bill

[sunkencheeks]

Is this video workshop in print as a dvd?