Stoned Drivers | Stand Up Comedian Darcy Michael

[MVSull]

While I was backpacking through Amsterdam, a cop offered to light my joint. This is my dream for America.

[supatoker420]

@MVSull when i went into a dispensary in California, i was greeted with some of the worlds greatest strains and buds, behind the counter helping me make my choice was a sexy budtender. This is my dream for any states/countries outside of California.

[wojiaobill]

Man. Americans are paranoid. In Canada the cops don't give a shit if youre stoned :-p

[raver619]

@wojiaobill That's not really true. They still bust people for small amounts. I know from first hand experience.

[vanx420killa]

amen lol

[dajohndoutway]

Funniest shit ever!!!!

[LRRVintage]

hahahahaha thats me, drivin slow as hell

[DontFrankBlake]

haha nice

[ingosnow25]

some stones might be offended

[MetaITV]

i just realized that trying to act "not high" makes you look high.

~ yoda

[hamburger]

i remember when i first started driving high i would roll up to the drive through and start talking to the trash can with the extended piece on it haha

[masterman3178]

becuase im stoned i tried to enter my text there.

[LarsUlrichIsMe]

i want some 24 hour weed

[TheBrradsullivan]

hahahah im like this when im stoned and walking, every person walking by is a cop lol

[RiseUpStiffy]

this is so fucking true.

[alenizy93]

SHAYCARL!!

[yourAPOCALYPSE666]

lmfao im watching this stoned as fuck and it is just epic!!!

[Suyamu]

man that guy is out of breath from just standing there and talking...

don't do drugs.

[TheDirtydirty510]

@Suyamu you mean dont be fat. lol

[CannabisPhilosopher]

@Suyamu

Probably more to do with his overweight ass... DON'T EAT FOOD. lol.

[jerseytomahawk]

What the fuck is a Kilometer?

[GTAandSenators]

@jerseytomahawk Its a bigger mile, we have it up here in Canada eh!

[6xSnake6x]

@GTAandSenators Actually 1 mile is approximately 1.5 kilometers, therefore the mile is longer.

[MrFuckingRager]

@jerseytomahawk Its like the same as a mile

[brazybard]

@jerseytomahawk 0.62 miles

[mollyisawarwick]

soooo funny

[Smokecabbage]

Hilarious

[Merkinq]

Hahaha good shit!!!!

[pojo205]

"nahh lets just follow him for awhile" LMAO that is so fucking true.

[gypsyjeter]

A bag of Cheetos, a Snickers or a pickle? That's fuckin' entrapment. HAHAHA!!

[andydude30]

"Don't fuckin wave, you are not gonna wave this time.......oohh my god...ohh shit we're wavin"

LMFAO. I love this guy

[Nichevo594]

I want a moped

[LatumWay]

I have ran out of Darcy Michael videos to watch.

[Gibstuhfoo]

Lmao! Fuuk man we just waved

[LordHines420]

weed is awesome and he is awesome. and cops can all go to hell and die. fuck cops.

[masterlevi10]

When I'm high and driving, I'm convinced that I'm flying a plane, so I try not to crash it.

[wendyspwnsu]

hahaha

[quavercheese]

what a twat.

[tr03gam3r]

Amen

This guy had me crying

But that's the truth what he said

[freddymajoe]

this is so funny, it made me cry!!!

[BFinFlavin]

if i see a car with 2 head lights it must be a cop.

o shit were wavin

[RachEE2471]

This dude is fuckin' priceless! It's soo true what he says about; driving hella slow, seeing only cops on the road and I LOVE THIS, "Fuck it man you can take my car, give me some of that 24 hour weed!" "Pretty much what they're gonna do is throw down a bag of cheetos a pickle and if you pick up all three you going' to jail.. THAT'S FUCKIN' ENTRAPMENT!!!"

[RaoPoulet]

"Gimme some of that 24 hour weed" 

[StonnerGibbins]

24hr weed LOL

[rey024]

fack it i'm from the netherlands i can wave and smile at the cop lol

[Stonermusic420]

IF YOURE HIGH AND YOU WANNA LAUGH SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL

[iREELintheFILM]

I would take all three and make a run for it.

[laromycornelius]

take me to jail i got snacks

[almightyseancore]

didn't this guy play bass for smashing pumpkins?

[PhuckAllYouPeople]

@almightyseancore

As far as I know, Darcy was the only bassist the smashing pumpkins ever had.

The smashing pumpkins where great until Jimmy died, then everything just went to shit from there.

[almightyseancore]

@PhuckAllYouPeople ..what? pumpkins have had 2 different bass players since darcy left, and jimmy never died....he did OD back during the melloncollie tour, but he rejoined the band for machina, and also played with zwan and recorded drums for the Zietgeist record. he even put out a solo album about 5 years ago.

[PhuckAllYouPeople]

@almightyseancore

I forgot to mention the Darcy im talking about isnt this guy, shes a girl.

[iputonformycity08]

lmao! i do this shit tooo =]

[20bball10]

i need some of that 24 hour weed 2

[20bball10]

lmao oh shit im wavin...

[billykim100]

i got snacks hahaha

[mrfish4lyfe]

LOL

[ez2killgod]

you can have my car, give me some of that 24 hour weed HAHAHAHA

[CrazieClown1]

So Funny.He looks like silent bob from jay and silent bob lol

[miamicanes04]

HAHAHA!! Agree with this shit 100%

[transientbandit]

hell yeah, keep em burnin....

[GaitRock]

fuck it man take me to jail I got snacks!

all me haha. never been pulled over though.

[seskie]

I love being a stoner.

[theSpiritofVengence]

@seskie me too buddy me too

[55AllOut]

LMFAO gimme some of that 24 hour weed youve got

[TIMHOMAYOON]

"Act cool...don't wave" Funny

[JCfreak88]

its so true about thinking every car is a cop at night, freaks me out

[Misskronic420]

nice lmao

[Raelsatu]

Gimme some of that 24 hour weed y'all talkin about..lmao. Common sense > the propaganda mill

[Phillyansc]

LOL.... Oh shit that car has headlights its a cop....

[Metallicafanfrom93]

nice nickname

[XLiteMySpliffXD]

oh shit were waving.... lol

[Weslo2]

this guy is good ahahahaa

[8sallday]

fuck it, take me to jail. i got snacks:D

[miakaal]

10k an hour?? Fuck sake man, I only drive that fast if I finished skinning up:)

[finalfantasy4everock]

ROFL!!

[supatoker420]

"Fuck it, take me to jail, I got snacks!!!" Hahaha legendary

[WyteGucciManeLaFlar1]

lmaoo hell yeah

everytime im drivin blazed ever car is a cop haha

check out my weed site its got some good shit on there

KUSH SMOKERS ONLY! intellectualthoughtscom

[mininniii]

If I'm not already on an L ride, I get high just to drive because I love it fuck the cops.

[ozzieatadd]

nah... lets just follow him for a while :D

[minikmak]

this is so true haha

[4zOmBiE2sLaYeR0]

hahaha good stuff good stuff

[Realkon]

hahahahhahahahahahaha two thumbs up man!!!!

[PhillyBilly1978]

rediculous everybody should drive off bong hits

[johnjnukemsheridan]

I can't decide which I find funnier. The main post, or the posts from the people who clearly don't know what the fuck they're talking about...but are trying to sound as if they do anyways(bless 'em) lmao!

[indiantaco32]

AW shit act casual!!!

[kingsax89]

fuck it take me to jail i got snacks...lol

[veryape1]

This guy sucks...its obvious he doesn't even get stoned as he sounds like he just picked up this routine from someone else. At least he could have stolen some good material instead of this awful crap...

[KJE420]

just dont wave.... roflmao

[sisyphusorianus9787]

0:38- Fuckin hilarious, and true as can be.

[ADtesting]

Lmao love it =P

[tottenhamstan09]

PAHAHAHAAHAHAH this is sooo trueeeee

[momonohomo22]

fucking hilarious

keep it up dude

[LSDCoatedBrain]

The best thing to do if a cop pulls up next to you, is to pick your nose. They are looking to see if your focused on them (and presumably guilty of something) most people don't pick there nose if they think they're being watched. And as it turns out, watching people pick there nose isn't the most fun thing to do, so the cop will be like "ugg" and look away. There ya go, I'm like a stoned Sir Isac Newton.

[m8a8w]

@LSDCoatedBrain I love this. I shared it with tons of people. :D I'll definitely be picking my nose. :D

[PORKSHANKREWFUS]

@LSDCoatedBrain You idiot. Don't tell people this shit. Soon cops will be looking for everyone who's picking their noses.

[Ianoodin]

@LSDCoatedBrain nice find i usually start scratcthing my balls real delibratly and they look away but thats less gross;]

[Brianwhittaker23]

@LSDCoatedBrain I see people pick their noses at lights all the time.Failed@Funny!!!

[slowmopoke]

@LSDCoatedBrain u have to eat the boogie

[puchomuc]

@LSDCoatedBrain ur a genius!!! ;-)

[tegofido]

@LSDCoatedBrain blessed be upon you.

[deepfreeze202]

@LSDCoatedBrain That has to be the single most stupidly brilliant thing I've ever heard. Why didn't I ever think of that.

[MartyrSoldier]

@LSDCoatedBrain Not true at all friend, my brother who is a narcotics officer that is what is called a resonable suspicion to the use of cocaine. Im not kidding at all if an officer is focused on you that is not a good thing to do at all, do to the fact he is allready suspicious of your activites

[DonGiovann023]

@MartyrSoldier pick your ear-wax then?

[ShaggyBlaizinUp]

@LSDCoatedBrain ROFLZ!!!! shit... i usually just wave and exhale :/

[sunforger9087]

Didn't laugh, sorry. Just don't find this funny.

[FreekDOut]

@sunforger9087 Get stoned, and go drive. You'll understand.

[sunforger9087]

@FreekDOut Thanks for the good advice, I'll do it once I feel like doing something retarded.

[FreekDOut]

@sunforger9087 I don't advise it whatsoever but when you're driving out into the middle of the country, 16hr drive, shit why not? You want to try something retarted try drinking some liquor and going out for a cruise, ain't happening. What this comedian said is hilarious because shit, I'd be getting pulled over too driving slow. And from what I've seen driving for the past couple years is more cell phone/drinking and driving incidents. Go get a sense of humor.

[Ilikemustard]

@sunforger9087

How the fuck can you say driving stoned is retarded if you've never done it idiot? You have absolutely no idea how safe it is driving stoned, do you? It is nothing like driving drunk. You are actually aware of your impediment and drive much more safely to compensate.

[Voileen]

ah, this is awesome! So true! haha! That's why I'm such a good driver when I'm stoned because I always go exactly the speed limit cuz I think every car behind me is a cop!

[wtfeezybruh]

Lmfao I've always thought about waving at cops when I'm driving high. Never done it though

[indiantaco32]

AW SHIT act casual

[OM3N1R]

Should we pull him over?

"Nah let's just follow him for a while"

LOL

[indiantaco32]

dude even when im not stoned i think every car behind me is a cop haha

[mistacoz]

"Take my car, just gimme some of that 24 hour weed you were talking about.."

[blargh2blargh]

is that stoner waving at us?

uh, well should we pull him over?

naw lets just follow him

XD that fuckin made my day

[DJStroodle]

Been pulled over a few times driving high, same with my friends. Perhaps it's the police force here, but they don't ever give a shit. And we never let them search the vehicles anyway. Unless your swerving like a retard, don't fret it.

[kaley3646]

its all though he's been following me around lmao

[erikdoubbleu]

I used to be there... its totally true. check out my standup let me know how un funny i am.

[jamestbrown23]

yea this dudes a true stoner......i want all three of those munchies right now.......

[berryblitz07]

LMAO he is a pretty fucking funny guy :) did you watch the one with the answering machine & his daughter??

[jamestbrown23]

where can I find that? sounds funny already........

[phillyflyers23]

thats fuckin entrapment hahaha

[vanwoo5]

WHEN ISN'T IT A COP BEHIND YOU??

[indiantaco32]

i hate driving stoned...its too intense

and getttin paranoid sucks ass

[feartheyeti574]

Haha!! I think every car behind me is a cop too!!! Good stuff

[piratakamrata]

YAHAHAHAH me too!

[feartheyeti574]

@piratakamrata

had a few close calls with the fuzz. That will do it to you. paranoid as a mufucka every time I'm "ridin dirty"...

[piratakamrata]

Yea me too in the beginning but you'll get used too it

[003Godsend]

@feartheyeti574 man that shit messes with your head

[Dynamik5]

Hahaha, hilarious

[VashDrinks]

Haha, now I gotta try a pickle

[xXNightXxXManXx]

Yea I want some of that 24-Hour Stuff. Lol

[MasKzNoEviL]

Ahaha been there!

[tupemoon]

funy funy funy ---

24 hour stuff

[thewallpaperman]

lol

[SUPRaTT2007]

LMAO i always think everyone is looking in my car when im driving or stopped at a light!

[tremer88]

if you cant drive well after you smoke some weed you shouldnt have gotten your licence in the first place, you were a shitty driver to begin with. their are some fucking idiots on the road and its usually people to and from work. most wrecks are caused by agressive drivers

[johnjnukemsheridan]

@tremer88 fuckin A ;) When they start permanently taking licenses off the absolute fucks who don't signal every time when they should signal...I may take this 'law' thing we have in our 'society' a tiny bit seriously. Half the people today on the road with a drivers license shouldn't be allowed one IMO :o/

[Lagomorphiius]

fuck it i got snacks XD

[braaaapp]

soo truu

[bahamut6667]

it was funny as hell cos it is true

[EnjoyMarijuana]

you clearly don't smoke

[pedinoway2]

@EnjoyMarijuana you clearly do

[lunei66]

You people and your pathetic little drugs.

[eleeschalow]

why dont you get off your little ass and stop playing drugs and stop listening to EVERYTHING they tell you in school. You and your pathetic gay ass video games.

[lunei66]

Hahaha, wow. Talk about moronic behavior.

[DamienRUs666]

fuckin lol

[whatsupwiththat6]

best laugh this week, thx darcy

[GoSkatePlease]

shits fuckin great duder!!

[CRUSH3Rdlux]

"gimme some'a that 24 hour weed yall talkin about," ......AGREED!

[violentautopsy80]

Funniest jokes about weed in a long time!

[UkranianRussian]

good shit man. funny stuff

[Odawg1978]

funny

[jeffj0420]

from one stoner to the next that shit was funny

[joint42000]

take me to jail i got fuckin snacks

[hissclick]

I love humour that highlights the stupidity of some of the laws that govern the U.S. Impaired for 24 hours?! Dang, i need a new dealer..

[imajamesboi]

try watchin this when u r stoned..

[killtroy811]

I live in humboldt county...Give me some of that 24hour shit!!! It would be a big hit here and there would be some fukin hippy tthat would make it some 36 hour shit!!!

[brodonteven]

lucky ass motha fucka

[killtroy811]

and yes its wonderful being able to go a med clinic and pick from 20 types and variations of herb...humboldt county is a small taste of heaven except fot the usless hippies, tweekers and trendy fuks, but we still gotta fire up again after 20 minutes.

[flanderlin]

dude i wish there was more of him on youtube

[MonkayMan]

holy shit, HILARIOUS!!!!!! i need some 24 hour stuff too