Added: 3 years ago
From: TheOnion
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  • Obama wants to keep shitty jobs in America and on the books

  • those fucking sluts were working just 16 hours a day...??? ...no wonder my sneakers are so expensive... ...make them work fucking harder and longer...!!!

  • I think my Blackberry is secretly a Smart Stitch...

  • How much would it cost to hire people to whip them at home, further increasing productivity of my company by 21%?

  • lmao they said 811 countries and 9 billion viewers. there are 196 countries and only 6 billion people in the world

  • This is a parody for those of you who are too dumb not to realise! But, it does raise the importancy of how poor and vulnerable people are forced to work as slaves for ruthless sweatshop bosses! The sweatshops would love to have a products like this in order to demean and control these unfortunate souls even more!

  • Revolutionary!

  • lol "till i pass out from exhaustion"

    and lol whipping seemed to be the most productive besides the smart stitch.

  • No way! An onion video in my mother tongue language? How did they do that????

  • @pandas941 so they really say what is subtitled? I thought they were all saying stupid stuff like "right now people think we're saying what is in the subtitles, but they are fucking idiots cause they don't understand what we're saying, we rule the world, etc."

  • @almabatard Yah. The subtitles are accurate. 

  • LOL @ 1:02 "Now I can keep sewing until I pass out from exhaustion"

  • "great" a 5 hour energy drink ad right before a sweatshop video...

  • Really bad job at translating, I must say

  • Are these guys part of the satire, or the onion just stole this scene on someone and dubbed it?

  • Hey, the second newscaster was on an episode of Outsourced, the TV show! He was the boss of the call center upstairs during the air conditioning/paint wars! Outsourced RIP

  • LOL It's funny, but it's so true that they are over worked for such awful income.

  • NO GUYS THIS IS SERIOUS!! ;)

  • :|

  • Their whole life belongs to him? what a jerk.

  • lmao at the beginning its like "9 billion viewers" only 6 billion people in the world:P

  • It's a spoof you dimwit. A joke. Strewth

    D

  • furhtermore, the newscaster and the host seem unmistakably like indian bangalis. bengalis from calcutta.

    these men are not bangladeshi.

  • plus she looks relatively much better and polished than the avergae worker. the accent shes using is most likely a fake one.

  • the lady at 1:07 is most prolly an actor hired by the ad firm responsible for this advertisement, and not a real worker. im from bangladesh and i know the body language and talking styles of the ppl.

    what is going on ?

  • @kingspider1000 "prolly?" "ppl?" =probably/people

  • @hddragracer1

    why thank you, oh infallible guru of grammar.

  • @kingspider1000 Sweetie, the whole thing is fake. It's a joke.

  • Wow even Bangladesh has more jobs than the U.S.A. And lower paying too! They have been making treddle machines for over 100 years why not just use a treddle machine? Those plastic machines will break in less than a year of even moderated use. The video says they are expensive? They can't be more than $15.00.

  • @sewingmachineheaven Its a joke.

  • @sewingmachineheaven lol. you have sewingmachine in your name.

  • labour unions are hindering the economic developement of developing countries. if a poor country wants to develope it needs foreighn investment. industralization wasnt easy for when western countries first wen through it so i dont know why people think it should be easy for these people.

  • click here to skip the commercial ----> 0:01

  • So "Thanks, Zahir," is the English of "Thunderbirds are here" ?

  • @marmiteblobofdeath He said Dhonnobad, Zahir... Thanks, Zahir in Bengali (Bangla).

  • i was hoping to see aasif mandvi from the daily show...oh well

  • lol my parents come from bangladesh

  • "Their lives belong to me, it makes me feel like a god." Haha, holy crap! What I love best is the half dozen people in EVERY Onion vid comments section who don't know this is parody. I'll concede, however, that this is a bit too close to the truth and almost borders on un-funny.

  • @MechaArnzilla sad thing is "it makes me feel like a god" is something that isn't completely unnatural for me to have heard before in person

  • I always knew that people who worked in sweatshops had crap lives, but HOLY CRAP! I had no idea that it was THIS BAD!

    "How do you expect not to get beaten?" Simple, HIT THEM BACK WITH A BASEBALL BAT!

    If you break a few of their bones, they will definitely stop bothering you.

  • @InweTaralom Look up Iqbal Masih, and see what happens to people who get out of line.

  • @InweTaralom lol and when u do u get thrown out of the job with no way to support you 9 kids, your mother and husbands family and your pet goat

  • "How do you expect not to get beaten?"

  • Derka derka Muhammad jihad.

  • wtf arent we suppose to be against sweat shops that shit is fucked up

  • @amos6621 ONION news is always fake. it is satire

  • i'll have to pick up one for my kids

  • 0:23 "Thunder Birds are here"

  • are freaking for real. this is crazy. why in the hell why would want to take work home to work on. shit. this cannot go on in USA.

  • @rosadreams73 you do realize that this is fake, right?

  • "I feel like a god."

  • 811 countries? OMG!

  • Brilliant satire! People should send a copy to their local networkstation and see if it would seep through the editing filter.

  • FAKE!

    Gee you morons you can take the machine where ever you go, are you going to take the 2000 pairs of jeans with you also

    That sewing achine is a toy if you watch it run is looks like something of RonCo.

  • @slsail it is a satirical news network pal, see the other videos and u'll realize that....

  • 9 billion veiwers? There's only 2 billion people on Earth

  • @DII117 You can't be more wrong, they're about 7 billion people...

  • You couldn't be more wrong, there are 6.7 billion people on Earth. China's population accounts for almost 30% of that.

  • @DII117 You're a fucking retard, I said about 7 billion. You went to check after I corrected you, and you're trying to correct me? You're a fucking idiot.

  • @matthewm888888888888 Lol, chill internet tough guy.

  • @DII117 yeah 2 billion documented people that have citizenship.

     Lol. Everyone else is an illegal alien that is undocumented, or a ghetto offspring that was born in the privacy of their own home. *cough detroit cough*

  • @mmmmmarcus dude wtf, there's 2 billion people in china and India, the rest of the world is illegal?

  • ooh i feel guity....

  • that is actually a machine that functions.....

    i have a mini sewing machine that looks just like it and it doesn't work nearly as well as a desktop machine!

  • "a new law may allow teachers to carry cobras to school"

    

  • I weep bitterly knowing that the executives at Smart Stitch had to go for so long feeling somewhat less than godlike.

  • omg! why do they even let the workers leave the factory??? They should make the factory their homes lol

  • It must suck to have watched all these videos already and to wait for the next.

    I just started watching today. I feel like a pirate with some booty.

  • The Smart Slaughterer has come out in the United States. It allows workers at slaughterhouses to slaughter 10,000 cattle an hour instead of 60, and work 23 hours a day instead of 10.

    It works much like the Smart Stitch, and has also seen increases in work productivity!

  • Lol at the Blackberry logo. They're pretty good at translating this shizzle.

  • rofl i love the ending "a new law may allow teachers to carry cobras to school"

    and i loved the graph too

    i wonder if the subtitles are actually in Indian or whatever?

  • i lol'd at the blackberry logo.

  • "I'll have to pick one up for my kids" LOL

  • I LOL'D

    <3

  • The beatings will continue until morale improves!!!

  • It's about time that the world's exploited billions were blessed with a device that could turn their slavish sixteen hour days into slavish twenty-two hour days. It saddens me to know that the powers-that-be at Smart Stitch had to suffer with feelings of less-than godlikeness for so long.

  • @lostinbravado

    You have verry valid points but remember, you have to spend money to make money.

  • I like how the "food depravation" tactic took a sudden drop in effectiveness.

  • @meric2 nice catch

  • @meric2 yeah me to

  • hahaha bring cobras to school

  • This guy days their whole lives belong to him and that he feels like a God! That is crazy.

  • @nirtsan yea man its crazy

  • They should do a proper cost benefit analysis Its very clear that an increase in whipping would generate a larger profit than a wide scale introduction of the Smart Stitch.

    While employees self purchase of the Smart Stitch under threat of beating would be productive, focusing exclusively on this or mass purchasing the Smart Stitch would only lead to a loss of profit.

  • combining the smart stitch and whipping would exponentially increase the productivity and maybe then while workers finally meet the 2000 units quota

  • bangladesh

  • this video is no satire... they are saying what the subtitles say!

  • yeah but does it cross your mind that this was joke. onn is a comedy program...

  • @artluv2002 sorry for a late reply..but if this was a jole I don't really find it very funny..except for the cobras haha

  • @razi21NZ Shit no way man..Realz?..Then maybe theyre jst acting it out

  • This video is brilliant. It is not merely a commentary about poor working conditions in developing nations or the large multinational corporations' desire for cheap labor that perpetuates these conditions. It is just as much a satire of the "always-on" corporate work culture, where employees are expected to be on call at all hours checking their Blackberrys, and to have company laptops so that they can bring their work with them everywhere, even on vacation. Think about that.

  • Yeah I saw that too

  • it's very sad, but ironically these factories are a god send for millions of people...instead of having no money at all they now have a little bit! :(

  • @petertwang

    Ever heard about the broken window fallacy? You are subject to it.

  • @ThorkilKowalski It's a satire. I am merely pointing out the nature of the comedy, and why it is funny to ME. You are more than welcome to debate the underlying socioeconomic and philosophical ramifications, but all I'm doing is having a good laugh at the video. Get off your high horse.

  • @petertwang

    Which high horse?

    Your statement had a political view and statement which I disagreed with. That was what I was pointing out...

  • @petertwang god, shut the fuck up

  • @petertwang That was the first Onion vid you saw. Wasn't it?

  • @newcoyote its weird how you can get the onion but cant get him.

  • @petertwang Wow, you must be like, so smart, for understanding the point behind the video, and appreciating it because it's like so brilliant.

  • @petertwang well, corporations see people in poverty who can only offer labor to survive, so it is a win win situation when the economy of the struggling company becomes stronger and the company gets cheap labor. remember corporations have to stay alive also, they can't be patron saints when trying make money. if you don't like it, get offline because your computer was probably made in a third world country.

  • @petertwang faggot.

  • Do you believe this dude? He's gonna "get one for HIS kid?" What a sh*thead! "Hard work is the "secret" to success?" My Father always told me, "hard work never hurt anyone." Now I have a 3-level-fusion in my back, from "hard-work" all my life. My Father, God rest his soul, taught me WRONG. Use your BRAIN, and not your back! Your mind will outlast the disks in your back......

  • @hddragracer1 well its common knowledge u should lift with ur legs not with your back lol dumbass

  • XD 9 billion viewers

  • did anyone just notice the Tags for this video?

  • Despite the fact that this is a hilarious satire, it is also the only Onion sketch I find depressing.

  • i feel like a God lol

  • now i can keep on sewing until i passed out of exhaustion lol

  • Onion have fun but also provocative videos.... Gladly.

    It will make your laugh or think, that's why they are clever.

    I found this video, cause keywords " Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of", what i knew already.

  • This is wrong is so many levels xD

  • The portable sewing machines have been around in Bangladesh since the early 1990's.

  • I'm from Satkhira District, Bangladesh and the translation is not very accurate. The accent also sounds very fake. I'm pretty sure they're Bengali people living abroad. Or maybe they're from Dhaka?

  • Well these are American actors seeings how the Onion is fake they didn't really focus on being accurate.

  • It is always like that *shrugs*. I am a Russian and I have yet to hear an American film which has a fluent Russian speaker. All have heavy Russian-English accents, sometimes faked to sound more stereotypically Russian, which only makes it clumsier, as the speakers have odd accents.

    Translations are mostly OK though.

  • Heh, I just assumed it was stock footage of something else, with actors dubbed in. As an American that does not speak any Russian I would say it sounds dead on. I bet the public is too used to the older accent and would not realize what language was being presented if that changed. That or nobody cares enough to ensure proper accents when few people will know what is being said anyway.

  • Never mind.

  • Well it's better than horrible dubbing they did in 007 Die Another Day. That North Korean guy with messed up face had his voice changed whenever he spoke Korean lol

  • For anyone wondering, that's Bengali they are speaking and yes, they really are saying that shit that's being written in subtitles.

  • The onion is undoubtably brilliant and every one so far has been funny but these ones are funny and depressing. Alot of that crap treatment happens.

  • I like how the food deprivation graphic just drops off after a few months.

  • Yet there is a mild uptick in whippings :-)

  • This could only be better if the poor people had the sewing machine mounted on their arm, and was sewing on buses, taxi's and while making dinner

  • Lol, anyone notice the beginning? "9 Billion Viewers." Rofl :P

  • everyone has a role to play in the global value chain. consumers have a lot of power. if we hold retailers like wallmart accountable for where they source their goods, then unethical suppliers will have to change their ways in order to continue operating. that's why it's called the global movement for social justice and global corporate responsibility. it's not enough to blame the sweat shops in india

  • As much as I admit im learning and intrigued at you people debating these things on the net. I must ask? Why not CNN videos here in youtube? Must you people debate on a satirical video page?

  • People debate almost every video, go to satirical videos and you will find people debating satirical videos.

    But onion videos usually spark more debate. Firstly because some people think its real and secondly because you have to see through the first layer to get the real message.

  • CNN doesn't cover this shit because they are sponsored by Evil and running a negative story on unethical practices in the mainstream media is a conflict of interest.

  • CNN doesnt cover this b/c this isnt real, dipshit

  • I feel like a God!!!

  • i think it is also making fun of the blackberry, u kno, how it gets people to work 24/7

  • 9 billion viewers lol

  • Yeap. Whenever you see that 14 year old teenager shopping for yet another pair of jeans she'll wear just once in her life, come up and smack the shit out of her just for fun

  • hey can anyone help i need to no how to make a show like this it says Episode 63

    i want to know how to do that plzz help

  • You can't.

  • Lol this is hilarious

    "Now I can work until I pass out from exhaustion"

  • "I feel like a god."

    hahaha!

  • "it used to make me very angry when my workers went home at night! now i control their entire lives! i feel like a god!" AHAHAAAHAAA epic win!

  • Kids don't fight. Both countries suck. Now play nice and suck together.

  • Wow, I came straight from the "Make a good YT video" Onion episode and see a whole page of juvenile flame comments. Just wow.

  • I bought the onion's world atlas. It was very funny as usual from the onion but at times it felt very negative. Way to make fun of the world and the way we life onion. goes to show from you atlas that no one is better than the french.

  • If the Atlas felt negative that's a scary reflection of our human condition, isn't it, Ben?

  • French isn't a race. For Fucks' sake, I though you're Irish, not american...

  • Did I say race? I apologize, how American of me indeed. I meant nationality.

  • mate, one France is a country not a race,

    two WTF are u a retarded seven year old or something keep your comments to yourself, I don't know where you picked up your anti-french ideals but I would suggest you question the adults in your life who have given you that perspective,

    If you are and adult you are beyond my help and should probably personally resolve to end your racist ways or commit suicide and end your pitiful life,

  • ur discriminating against a group of people similar to racist ism but not the same, what you really are is a discriminating douche to be a racist you hate people of a Ethnicity when you discriminate you discriminate against religion sex preference age, anything than can alienate a certain type of people from the rest.

    point is if you were racist if you hated the french because they were white but your what doing is discriminating because they are from france.

  • Whatever. The point is French people suck. It's been proven throughout history.

  • o yeah the french suck then what of the united states then? united states owes the french a lots of thank you because with out the french the united states would have never won against the British people in the war for there independence. learn facts of history before you say it been proven in history that they suck u ignorant moron.

  • America is the most corrupt country......

    These sweatshops are made in other countries by American companies.

    Slavery is very real, and Americans are the number one practictioners. These women have no choice but to work in these sweatshops, otherwise thier children would starve (btw I know that this video is a joke, I love onion) Onion has, in its satire, exposed they way American treats other countries.

  • You're insinuating it is US companies hiring these individuals to work. It is not.

    It is companies In Their Own Countries that hire them and dictate work practices. The US companies just put out contracts they pick up.

    By your logic---

    If I put a classified in the paper looking to buy a trampoline, and someone murders their neighbor to steal one to sell to me, I was the one guilty of murder.

    It isn't US companies mistreating foreign workers, it is the companies the people work for.

  • Bull shit eslake. Where exactly are those jeans going? Old Navy? Macys? Walmart? In what country... India? I don't think so. THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. It is AMERICA who puts those companies in those ***POOR*** countries. In a poor country, there is NO jobs (imagine our depression 100x worse) the only job is those in a sweat shop; and they get paid for very little money... they can't help that either, because it's the only avaible job to them. Starve or be a Slave...

  • You still don't get it.

    Take Wal-Mart for example.

    You are basically saying Wal-Mart hires people in india and forces them to work in sweat shops.

    That isn't what's going on.

    A company like Mureva, an Indian company, owned and operated by Indians, hires Indian people to make things and runs sweat shops.

    Mureva Sells the end result to wholesalers who then sell it to Wal-Mart, among other places around the world.

    It isn't Wal-Mart/Macys/Old Navy running sweat shops.

  • MADE IN CHINA BITCH

  • However if you knew that he had murdered someone to acquire the trampoline, and yet you continued to give the person business without complaint, you're not helping. Sure, American companies might not be mistreating the workers, but they're still supporting it.

  • taylortaco,

    You can follow that train on to the people who shop at the stores. We found out years ago that virtually every clothing supplier in the world was using that kind of labor.

    Did the world go naked in protest, or did they continue to buy and wear clothing?

    People love to say the US is always sticking its nose in where it doesn't belong, and out the other side of their mouth, they blame the US for things like this happening in other countries.

  • That's a very good point. We are supporting it just as well.

  • You missed the point again.

    Should we run around naked to say we don't support the way some company on the other side of the world treats its employees?

    Or should that company take responsability for its own actions and change their policies?

  • Ah, sorry, I must have skimmed what you wrote. US companies are not the sole perpetrators of the way the employees are treated, even if we might support it very indirectly. It is up to the companies to change their policies, definitely. If "virtually every clothing supplier" is using that kind of labour, then it's pretty difficult to avoid it as a consumer.

  • "virtually every" was something I hated to say, but there really wasn't a better way to put it.

    Wal-Mart became the primary target when the mainstream media latched on to the stories, because they were also adding "Made In America" labels on imports from foreign sweatshops.

    Companies (and consumers) buying from these places aren't blameless, but what retail store could afford investigations into every of their various suppliers all over the world?

    The quickest fix is to go to the source

  • idiot

  • Ah I think you missed the point...it's a parady, supposed to be 'funny' and raise awareness.

  • HAHAHA "daily quota of 2,000" AHAHAHAHA

  • loll this was funny. im from bangladesh and this is funny. my dad laughed too.

  • "Smart Stitch". LOL

  • I never realized that they actually used the real language when they do the stuff. I actually speak this, and this is legit, making it all the more funny.

  • haha me too

  • it's true? that's cool. I thought they would just find something random lol

  • what language was this cuz i caught some words of hindi but not alot

  • they use alot of english words aswell