Skyrim Most Retarded Line EVER

[bronzesilvergold118]

Stupid bees and their stupid honey ;p

[MetalPatrick93]

I used to be the dragonborn, then I started making arrow in the knee jokes.

[Ritsuchan100]

I use to think that I was the dragon born too... then I took an arrow to the knee

[Warhawk407]

most retarded video EVER!!!!

[PoisonIvyXTheJoker]

He only wishes... -_-

[nozajshadowcaster]

WE ARE BUT MAGGOTS!!!!...

[xXxBrownie2011XxX]

"is it dead"NO its not its just a dragon skeleton u thick imperial soldier got get a life saying is it dead when its a pile of bones what school did u go to.=> good vid but too short

[Adamjack789]

Most epic line ever, I used to be an arrow like you, then I took a knee to the face xD

[DeadKronik]

i fus roh dah'd that bitch

[Xanderz221]

AFTA YHUE PAY DUH FINE OF COARSE

[reapertty]

Id like this video but i took an arrow to the HAND!!!

[peeweesherman]

Can't forget Belethor's assistant, saying "You should come by Belethors shop in the market" when we're i don't know..maybe..IN BELETHOR"S SHOP!!!!

[peeweesherman]

Olfrid! Patron of the great Clan Battle born... A NAME I'M SURE YOU KNOW WELL...?

[Cfsldp]

Its arrow in the knee...

[thespaceboon101]

Lol once I saw a adventurer walking on the road near whiterun so I shot him but acsidently it hit his knee but since I only started the game I was to weak so I ranaway when I got to whiterun I passed a guard and he said I used to be a adventurer like you then I took a arrow to the knee and so I pressed A and he said hey I remember you're face you are going to the dungeon

[xSWeArdoG]

lol i heard a gaurd say this once

[Charlie7250]

No most pointless thing I heard on skyrim is when some guy picked a not up and said is this your note, you reply with , no is it yours? And the guy again replys with no you must of dropped it must be yours, if I asked if it's yours it's not mine!

[Rodawsome]

@Charlie7250 Dude thats part of a bug markarth conspiracy quest.

[KidKandyful]

I thought it was when I talked to a guard in whiterun and he said I used to be an adventurer but I took an arrow to the knee.

[believethehype01]

i once was a blade worrier but then i took a blade to the chest.

[MrLinty2]

One time I was fighting a frost Mage and she yelled "I'll see you burn!!!"

[nicey991]

@MrLinty2 that was excactly what i just said...

[gamefreak1000000]

@MrLinty2 Well, extremely cold ice DOES burn.

[SPOOFgun]

Guard might get nervous, a man approaches with his weapon dra...

*kills guard*

[Stingray7667]

@SPOOFgun rofl i find it funny when they say it when you have your fists raised (unarmed) hahaha

[nicey991]

"I will see you burn!"

*uses frost spell*

[MysterySongEditor]

Dumest line ever: "I use to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an knee to the arrow"

[devilboyphantom]

I used to moan about arrow in the knee until I started hunting down those basterds

[gerry7man555]

Guard: THIEF!!!

press x

Guard:I used to be an adventurer like you then i took an arrow to the knee

[xLeinonen]

Redguard woman: I'm going to kill you now!"

press "talk"

"What can I do for you?"

[familyguyfreak796]

Dumbest line: "I used to be an adventure like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee". Fucking idiot.

[CSRgamer]

@familyguyfreak796

Period goes inside the quote.

[familyguyfreak796]

@CSRgamer Does it? Whoops :(

[abracadabra808]

meeting a Giant for the first time. end of story.

[N1L8]

My story isn't one of a retarded line, rather a story of amazement.

I was on my way to Markath (from whiterun, as I dont fast travel and wanted an adventure) when I happened upon a dragon. Now many people were there as it was at the scene of the first dragon fight, so seriously hurting it was no trouble.

it was at very low health when it suddenly dropped dead. Confused I inspected its corpse to find a Mudcrab. A Mudcrab killed a dragon.

I guess the dragon HAD fought tougher Mucrabs than me.

[bunnylover708]

dumbest line: i m not a man i m a weapon in human form just unsheve me and point me at your enemy

[pantherjlr]

Alvor's wife told me, "You're pretty, stay away from my husband" ....

[lapizazul101]

My Dummest line ever wat when i healed my follower and then he said "I hope your not expecting a thank you" WTF i healed that bitch and he didnt even said thank u.....  2 min later after Lapiz Wrote this he shouted and stabed his follower to death****

[thelongsdaleguy]

"Haha, they're dead." said brenor to some dead bandits in a Falmouth prison cell.

[peeweesherman]

Also, a guard killed me, stepped over my body and said "Hey, you mix potions right?"

[DracoSilverscar]

@peeweesherman That was just a really good burn in disguise.

[peeweesherman]

What pisses me off is having to listen to Adrianne Avenicci go on about how Eorlund Graymane is the best blacksmith in town and she just deserves a fair..QUIT YAPPIN AND GET TO SELLIN'.

[SIurm]

@peeweesherman "i may not be the best blacksmith in whiterun, eurlond graymanes got that honor, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary, mans steel is legendary" geez why dont you just fuck him already Adrienne Avenicci

[Grunklefang]

"Do you get to the cloud district often? What am I saying, of course you dont."...."FUCK. YOU. NAZEEN. I go to the cloud district all the fucking time and fight dragons and shit, you just hang out at the goddamn market all day and talk to Ysolde. Seriously I will go elbow deep in your B-Hole with my Daedric Gauntlets on if you ask me one. More. Time." - Nihlus the Calm-Tempered.

[TheAnubis754]

@Grunklefang i married ysolde!! thats my wife ur talking about!!!!

[scalper42]

@TheAnubis754 I married her but I was late apparently :(

I got there on the right day but at night. Wouldn't let us get married...

Everyone in Riften died on that day.

[UndergroundStru]

@Grunklefang That could have possibly been the funniest comment I have ever read ever on YouTube. Thank you so much.

[Bella288]

@Grunklefang That has officially made my day :P It's what we all have thought at some point or another, but you my good sir have finally given voice to our collective anger.

[darthgueedo]

@Grunklefang Nihlus? What are you doing on youtube? I thought Saren killed you during the Geth attack on Eden Prime. LOL

[Computergeew]

@Grunklefang Danm the Grey-Manes to Oblivion, they want to back the Stormcloaks, they'll get whats coming to them.

[Ereath1]

@Grunklefang I assassinated Nazeen. Hated that guy.

[TehEricMonster]

@Grunklefang i murdered him in my game...

[crashnburner187]

"I heard you're the new member of the Companions. So what do you do, fetch the mead?"

Listen, guard. I'm the motherfucking Harbinger! I suggest you shut up, before I rip your lips off.

[owireproductions2]

i was going to click like on this video, but then i took some sense to the head

[DajaWaja]

In the knee IN the nee IIIINNNN not TOOOO

[sploifdotcom]

@DajaWaja  what the firetruck?

[kierankiller2]

i used to watch retarded lines like you then i took a arrow to the knee

[Gloppagus]

I was expecting "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee".

[nzjackass1]

you sshould wait till you have the spectral assassain one of his lines are "Perhaps we should find a random stranger to murder, practise does make perfect" 0.o

[wateverrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

he's high on skooma for sure.

[THECOMMENTER10000]

Conspiracy Keanu?

[XxCODownagexX]

@FriedChicken257 I'll asume their EXACT words were "You know, if you have the apptitude, you should join the College of Winterhold".

[cwross1976]

i killed the guard when they said this the first time... it was female though... in ivarstead, i think... it's all just a big blur of snow and rolling heads... and arrow to the knee jokes... i need to play fallout or something.

[HaloFSky]

What suprised me most on this game is a mission in Dark Brotherhood when my Khajit Reina killed a chef in a keep and her next mission is to appear in Solitude as a disguised chef. I just searched the dead victim and thought it would be good to actually LOOK like a chef and I was sure that it would not matter to the game whatsoever. But when I arrived at the gates the guard after questions finally stated "Oh...your clothes...I should have expected it...! I was really shocked it was so real :p

[XxCODownagexX]

@HaloFSky Is your character's name pronounced "Ray-Ena"? lol Random question is random :P

[HaloFSky]

@XxCODownagexX Well I named her Reigna Felicia I had her on 79 level an ultimate stealth killer never used to warn her enemies. But as I started the mage file the old saved one with the Khajit got deleted by the notorious bug. *Claps*

[uberunityistkaput]

My lol moment for futile dialog was - "I YIELD!" from a necromancer a fraction of a second before my sword lopped off her head and it rolled off down mountain. Ok, bye then!

[muckbringer]

finally, an elder scrolls chapter i dont want to cheat in!

[wrestlingfan12321]

Bandit: i'll have your head. (while i was decapitating him) XD

[MAlford65]

@wrestlingfan12321

Same kinda thing to me. The guy was on his knees staring into my eyes with my sword all the way in his torso and he yelled "mercy!"

....Then I pulled the sword out and he dead now.

[HenkIsEenKameel]

The worst line was: I was walking trough Whiterun with my iron sword (200 Damage) and a guard said:''Iron sword, eh? What are you killing, butterflies?

[LynaMahariel]

Stupid lines?

"Let me guess- someone stole your sweetroll?"

Just...

"Listen, buddy, I'm the Harbinger. Jorrvaskr answers to me!"

and

"Yeah, I'm a bit busy being the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood for sweetrolls, thanks."

[Deanocraft]

I dunno i still like WHAT THE OBLIVION IS THAT! from tes 4 lol

[TheMightyAyegor]

"Got to thinking, maybe I'm the Dragonborn, and I just don't know it yet.

Oh wait, I took an arrow to the knee."

[lordoftheabyss44]

"I see you like using one handed weapons instead of the clunky two handed weapons"-said by guard who carries a battle ax around

[MAlford65]

@lordoftheabyss44

"Light armor means light on your feet, smart."

*Wearing Dragonplate*

[iOwnYouBro]

Apprentice Ice Mage: I'll see you burn!

[jwbeasle1]

Decapitated a bandit the other day, and as the animation for it ended, he said "Is that the best you got!", with his head rolling around the floor. Hilarious

[Sammy74136]

i was in the Blue Palace when i started killing everyone. With all the bodies on the floor i hear the other thane yell " Murdered! IN COLD BLOOD!!!"

[valzilla2000]

I killed a dragon in a town.

A guard walked up to me, next to the skeleton.

"What is it? DRAGONS?"

[TheAnubis754]

Dumbest line ever:

I had lydia with me... And we went in some random cave,

Then we left the cave and she said:

"Hey! There's a cave right there! We should take a look inside."

[WorldOfSadTruth]

@TheAnubis754 She was talking about her vagina, dumbass.

[NinjasShuffleToo]

SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH ALL THE RETARDED "OH I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE" I WISH YOU WOULD TAKE A REAL FUCKING ARROW TO THE FACE MAYBE THAT WAY YOU COULD SHUT THE FUCK UP! AND JUST FOR ALL YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE WHO WANT TO BE A SMARTASS YES IM MAD SO FUCK YOU AND YOUR "YOU MAD BRO?" COMMENTS!!

[AppleiPwn4g]

@NinjasShuffleToo u mad bro?

[HenkIsEenKameel]

@AppleiPwn4g Shit, I was gonna say that :/

[IronicSarcasm1]

@NinjasShuffleToo Art thou annoyed, bretheren?

[Deadbeliefs]

@IronicSarcasm1 definately the classiest of all 'you mad bro' jokes. Kudos.

[N1L8]

@NinjasShuffleToo art Thou aggravated blood-kin?

[TheAnubis754]

@NinjasShuffleToo someone's HEATED!

[NoobzAnonymous]

@NinjasShuffleToo I used to rage like you once, but then i took an arrow to the knee.

[applejoint100]

@NinjasShuffleToo you mad bro?

[Milkswag22]

@NinjasShuffleToo Are you angry, gentlemen?

[EviLxM0rgaN]

'You have incredibly hairy ears'

Guards say that after you have become a werewolf

[921darksider]

@EviLxM0rgaN A gaurd said that to me when I was playing as a Kajhiit, I was like "No fucking shit you dumbass!"

[luigi4728]

i used to be a town guard then i took an arrow to the knee >>>------l>

[XypherMage94]

I used to find all these "arrow in the knee jokes" to be funny.

Then i took an arrow to the knee... >>>------l>

[izzboxer1996]

thats what a guard said when he was standing right next to me while I was absorving a dragons soul!

[orpheustheholy]

"Is it a death threat scrawled on the back of an argonian concubine? Those are my favorites!"

[ironwells94]

put some clothes on your embarassing yourself lol

[DeMooray98]

i was in solitude and a dragon attacked and when me and the guards finished killing it a guard said if those whiterun guards can kill a dragon so can we.

[DragonsLord123]

we all should know that the guards r idiots, claiming to be the dragonborn...

*goes into sneak*

[3dcheesenips]

@timsons7777 Calm your nuts i was quoting the mage at whiterun. He says that...

[thespaceboon101]

the worst line I have even heard in this game is when i was fighting a BLOOD DRAGON in riverwood. then some old lady came out of nowhere armed with a iron dagger and said. "you're already dead." O_O

[rofloflofugus]

I like it when your sneaking, shoot a guy in the head with an arrow, and he doesn't die. He starts to run around, then stops and says, "Must have been my imagination."

[crashnburner187]

@Dehznutsz It's a Monty Python reference, it's supposed to sound silly.

[canashblacob]

@crashnburner187 come ya pansy ill bite ya legs off!!

[SuperSayjinDaeron]

Get this...was training pick pocketing with a beggar in Windhelm. She asks if I'd be generous enough to spare a septim and started complaining about how she has to sleep outside. I look in the guh's pocket and I'd spent 16k on training. Greedy Hoe.

[MrJax3294]

"Just because you're buddies with the guild master doesn't mean well treat you different around here." Listen here DIRGE I am the fucking guild master, fuck off.

[FunnyShadowGuy]

if you ever end up in a fight with poeple at winterhold colloege,wait till most of them are at the bridges and shout them off with unreletting force,it funny,they die,and it works.also if you want free master robes steal them from that guy in his sleep

[LEGOwaffles117]

I did unrelenting force shout, then a guard says to me " Got to thinking, Maybe I'm the Dragonborn and i just don't know it yet."

[CanDodger]

I mostly deal with petty thievery and drunken brawls. been too long since we've had a good bandit raid.

*Walking through bandits he just killed*

True story.

[1001111001]

Guard might get nervous, a man approaches with his weapon drawn

[DarthLOL293]

No, the most retarded line was on 'dovakiins day off', after he put a basket on this persons head and they said 'keep an eye out'

[Yomega360]

I have an even better one. I murdered a guy right in front of another guy's face, and the guy saw me. He walked up to the dead guy, completely ignoring me, said "I'll find out who did this to you." I was like "DUMBASS!".

[Godmother153]

@Yomega360

hahaha true happend to me aswell :")

[BrianS3000]

Guard walking past:

"I heard about you and your honeyed words"

Me with speech in the 30s:

"Oh yeah?"

[BrianS3000]

Bandit I used to get 100 blocking:

"Is this what you want?" (attacking me repeatedly)

Me:

"Actually... Yeah." (goes afk with block button held down)

[N1L8]

I shot a guard in the knee once (completely by accident) then payed off my bounty.

after I was released, I returned to him and his line was:

"I used to be an adventurer once, and then I took an arrow to the knee"

...

I felt so bad.

[Topshizzleable]

@N1L8 lolol :P

[canashblacob]

@N1L8 I used to be the dragonborn, and then I too an arrow to the knee.

[Uberrrrrrr]

@N1L8 He says arrow "IN" the knee...

[N1L8]

@Uberrrrrrr The details are unimportant, the fact is he said it.

but thank you for the correction none-the-less.

[Uberrrrrrr]

@N1L8 Well it must be important, because you replied to my comment...

[N1L8]

@Uberrrrrrr

That's like saying:

"you must be mad, because you show no signs of agression"

No.

I like to reply to comments just to reassure people that I read their input. it's called common etiquette.

[Uberrrrrrr]

@N1L8 Nah, It's saying you took time out of your day to reply to my comment, it was straightforward.

[Sibrand45]

The most retarded thing/line/conversation I've ever come across in Skyrim as of yet (In my own opinion) is this: Right after I've saved the village of Markarth from its fourth attacking dragon, one of the guards approach me and says "Stop wasting my time, Redguard!" right after I helped him and his buddies defend his village; What the hell is the matter with these guards!?! xD

[EvilMegaCookie]

Most retarded line I can come up with is this: *shoots bandit in the head* He staggers for only a moment and then says: ''Tis but a flesh wound!''. Or as some other people have mentioned: The jarl in whiterun: As you have the most experience fighting dragons.'' Me: If you count running like a bitch as fighting experience, then yes I do have experience.''

[skaionex]

i think its hilarious when i slit peoples throughts as they exclaim "whats that?" or "whos there?" or the best one was "ill show you what a real orc can do"...at that point i say "what? die?"

[MrPancakemix1000]

@skaionex Yeah, I always notice orcs are the cockiest but always have the fastest and funniest deaths

[skaionex]

@MrPancakemix1000 ya lol

[GGxBeast]

I once was an adventurer too, untill I took an arrow to the knee...

[spontan234]

Did you shout at him after he said that? And did he say "Oh shit you are the dragonborn? *Sadface*" ?

[pople177]

Thats not the most retarted line ever.

this scenario is(actually happened)

Gaurd with steel greatsword: Your like me i perfer one handed weapons

me: you have a two handed sword

Gaurd: Shut up I can dream can't I?

me: No(walks away)

[alfaminer]

best line ive heard being a khajit " you will make a fine rug cat"/ wen i kill you im going to have a new loin cloth. rofl

[EurrikkeEdward]

Kill dragon with rift hold guards.

Rift Guard: "My cousin is off fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty."

:I

[saprophyt3]

Walk through riverwood, a ancient dragon appears, a child goes,

"DAD!"

FUS RO DAH!

Blew his Dad into the river.

Dragon Then eats him.

I 2 hit the dragon,

A guard says

"Alright then..."

[ZAFeOnZ]

Lydia:'I'm sworn to carry your burdens' - SO. FUCKING. ANNOYING.

[Didster100]

@ZAFeOnZ But she sounds so happy to help ...

[Gravelaw11]

Ok... I have a line as well. Maybe not so hilairous, but there you go. When I was just a noobwolf attacking my first hold in wolf form:

Me: -slash and hack and slash on his body on the ground, him writhing in pain-

Bandit: WHY DON'T YOU TURN AROUND AND START RUNNING SO I CAN STAB YOU IN THE BACK?

Me: '______' -finishes him-

[OvErKLLleR192]

"If your dragonborn. Which was the dragon your mom it your dad?" lol

[IhearaHunter117]

I ran into some dragons the other day, nasty creatures.

What's been going on in the other provinces?

Nothing I'd like to talk about.

Good day.

[MaximumAntiFyre]

dumbest line: Alak'r says "We're searching for an outlaw of hammerfell." me: "why are you looking for her?" Alak'r: "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

[TheWingsOfHermes]

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

[uzumaki913]

NO, the dumbest line was on my redguard the Alak'ir guy walked up to me and said, 'Were looking for a woman, shes a redguard like us' and i said OH thats what a redguard is

[iOwnYouBro]

I went into Alvor's house and was stealing their goods when Alvor and his Wife woke up

Alvor: Who's there!?

*Sneak kill Alvor*

*Sneak kill Wife*

Daughter: Well, nobody is here now...

[ps3loverBR]

one time i almost killed an argonian and, whe he was crawling on the floor almost dying he said "come visit me at the store some day!"

[thespaceboon101]

one time I killed a dragon in front of a guard and he said "Did somebody steal you're sweet roll"

[SupernaturalStd]

this cazy women came up to me in the woods in my face and said wabajack wabajack wabajack really fast in was funny

[SupernaturalStd]

no its when u ask someone to marry u

me; interested in me ,are u

[oscarius4]

"It's so much easier to run WHEN YOUR DEAD!"

[videogamespoofer]

no its when ur a kajiit and they say you remind me of my cousins cat io killed that too

[AnIndoneousUsername]

I love the way you just stop and look back like "seriously?"

[limitsora69]

@AnIndoneousUsername when i first heard that i went "AW HELL NO" and th'um'd him so hard he flew into whiterun :D

[ThePAIN1488]

@limitsora69 You tri-booshed? (Level 3 unrelenting force)

[limitsora69]

@ThePAIN1488 yep, i finished Skyrims main quests 2 days ago but there's still way to much to do :D

[skaionex]

@limitsora69 only if youre slow...im already lvl 63 and have almost done every quest...im done with mages, theives, brotherhood, main story, civil war, and dadric. im doing all the tiny tiny things now...

[skaionex]

@limitsora69 so...basically you have no life huh? damn...and i thought i played a lot...or is it that you use mods? eh, doesnt really matter. my point was how its not as big a game as it seems at first...

[limitsora69]

@skaionex nah, but i think it's definitely bigger then Oblivion, i sorta got bored when i bought Oblivion GOTY edition, i stopped playing after 24 hours, since i never knew where quests were

[Damien1235813]

@skaionex Trololololololol :)

[mrcmen18]

Everyone forgot the people in the beginning when the dragons on the tower and all the guys said "it's in the sky" " I can't c it" even though it was as big as the screen

[LSDxxKiLLz]

The guard said this right after I killed a dragon with a shout and absorbed its soul at the Whiterun quest... It was a complete fail.

[StallionTTT]

Hello. Whats new with you? I saw a couple mudcrabs the other day... Nasty creatures. Good day.

[TheCliffsideProject]

But someone really did take my sweet role

[SOFTIHUVVET]

the funniest line is "let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll"