MST3K - Last Clear Chance

[LDC454]

"I'm making choo-choos in my pants!" 

[Philtheguy]

"...Women drivers!"

[theconfesser]

Will you identify this bucketful of your brother?

[RBEO22]

"Twilight" Is an abomination to God

[mst3KGf]

"Never let this happen to you. Don't make the mistake these people made. Don't die."

"But I thought we were all paid up this month."

"Gonna need another fifty. Real shame if something happened to all this land."

"SKY!"

[requiem4ameme]

Yes, going over the speed limit is NEAR INSANITY, but running a stop sign is just squeezing the law a little bit.

The 50's were a different time...

[rdallen226]

All Nude Girls! Whites Only!

[roberste]

"Hey, my Advocate is here."

[TheCorrectViews]

...enter the police state.

[lambovsatan225]

" You know, son. 40 percent of all acciden.."

" Oh shut up, will ya?! "

[NeverDoubt1]

"I could say bye from here."

"BYE"!

Lol

[ahshorn]

"I surrender! What's the charge?"

"Haha! Manslaughter."

[Bowarcher]

07:10 i'm surprised they didn't break into SIGNS SIGNS EVERYWHERE A SIGN

[JohnsParadise]

"You know, son, 40 percent of all li-"

"Oh shut up, will ya!?"

That joke had me on the floor laughing.

[atlasdontcare]

"It's a good day to die! :D"

"My plan's working, you will die!" "Keep goin'!"

"You're deep, Ernie."

"Now I'm gonna grab A LITTLE BIT OF LUNCH!"

[jasonw131]

And yet many people who have lived through a crossing accident will say "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

[SuperIlluminaughty]

30 people hate trains.

[chrisuzwhite]

@SuperIlluminaughty But I thought they were blameless, holy creatures.

[jettaelas911]

good thing they dont make drivers ed films like this anymore....oh wait...

[harmonyXsuzukaze]

seems like people couldn't see life in HD back then with their own eyes.

I know the cameras and all but geez~

[mdumas43073]

"It's a strange thing, but some people actually resent traffic signs and traffic laws."

"Well, we resent your being here..."

[PinkGloom]

'These are fruits you must not taste'

God sometime soon I need to say this at work.

[Trancemaster2052]

Now I'm gonna grab a little bit of lunch! lmao

[cojaro87]

Red Foreman at 10:17

[Optimalillusion]

@cojaro87

He's off to kick some ass!

[CarolinaOcelot]

Oh my God he snapped!

[BionicTurtleWizard]

Beware the woman driver

[BionicTurtleWizard]

"Say, nice butt."

I love these mst3k shorts! I watch some every day.

[westholmes2001]

Doesn't the Idaho police officer in this short look like William Boyett, who played Sgt. MacDonald on Adam-12?

[buckeyeschmave]

@westholmes2001 Yep, that's who it is. Every time I saw him on a rerun of Dragnet, this is the first thing I thought of.

[TinyHarmlessRobots]

I think this should be required material for every driver's ed student to watch.

[Kill3rballoon]

Gargancho-cop

[ashland1977]

I NEVER get tired of this!!

[lilsnbits]

"Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit." Ha ha! I remember watching these on SciFi.

[johnniebgoode]

Whoa! I almost ran over Kissinger!

[ashland1977]

@johnniebgoode LOL!!

[LeeCarvello1]

@johnniebgoode I'm going to have to go back.

[bullza001rocka]

Can you identify this bucket of your brother?

[VozDRazon]

@ 13:34

Crow: (whispers) I hear it.

I love these guys!

[PurpleMokona101]

"You know son 40% of all accidents--"

"Oh shut-up will ya?"

"Why don't they look? Tell me why don't they look?"

"Your deep Ernie." hahaha love MST3K

[kimberthegiver]

"You're deep, Ernie."

[TheLackofattack]

People are dead! people are dying everyday!

[TheBimmyandJimmy]

I guess the only thing that I learned from this short is people really sucked at driving in the 50's.

[textthing]

Wig-wag?

[pdlbean]

it's Big Daddy's birthday! I got life in me, Big Daddy!

[dweebcentric]

@pdlbean - are you referencing the golden girls?

[pdlbean]

@dweebcentric that would be Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

[VTPPGLVR]

Watched surveillance footage on TV of this guy who's walking across the tracks, gets hit by a truck, and the truck gets hit by a train! (@.@)

[punkrockcop]

And yet, many people who have lived through a crossing accident will say-"AHHHHHHHH!!"

[Ozker1313]

"Well do you know him like THIS!?"

"Oh God! Who are you!? What are you!?"

[NewGuy2534]

I regret nothing!

[downtownford]

'My life is a lie!'

[BLOODPACT74]

"Woah, almost ran over Kissenger, going to have to go back!"

Classic!

[RockmanVX]

I heard this was a great short. Since I'm gearing up for my driver's test soon, I can relate to this more. Also, there aren't much in the way of trains around here.

[thefaboloussob]

6:57 Signs, sings, take away the sings [humming] do this don't do that cancha read the siiiings?

[thefaboloussob]

5:41 If you're lost you can't look but you will find it...

[thefaboloussob]

4:56 You take the good. You take the bad. You take 'em all & there you have the...

[thefaboloussob]

4:32 Yeahhh, his "girl"! I hear ya, Gramps

[thefaboloussob]

5:55 Put 56¢ on black. What? It was worth a lot when this was filmed!

0:48 Oh, he's an Idaho state trooper or hwy patrolman. Sorta interesting.

[DJDannyPhantum]

1:12 "GOODBYE!...Oh"

[JIMFoamy1]

3:14 Advocate?

3:19 Nude mail delivery?

[bunkieb00]

lol..none of yer beezwax!!

[icefiremage4]

30 ppl didnt see the signs of life

[lionelguy]

I'm making choo choo's in my pants !!

[MichRockHop81108]

all nude girls, whites only!

I lost it. XD

[5leafc1over]

"Oh! Its the heat, hide the stash!"

[cambotgypsytomcrow]

(sobbing) I'm gonna go throw myself in the thresher...

[fafnir242]

8:53. "Twilight...is a terrible movie. Don't watch it.lol"

Actually, if you want me to be honest, it wasn't half bad.  Wouldn't watch it on a regular basis, but it wasn't bad.

[FrenchToastEmergency]

The guy playing the cop doesn't understand why Rock Hudson always gets the parts he tries out for.

[tomblack2112]

Check the guy on top of the building around 3:10. I think they cut the shot just before he jumps. "I can't take the endless banality of this town anymore! Aaaaaaahhh!" SPLAT!!!

[JIMFoamy1]

@ 3:18 nude mail delivery?

[JeremiahRocker]

"Officer, is this gonna take long? ...we got a crop out in the field we gotta cu-...its gettin' late...uh, we really gotta get-...gotta mow that hay down before we gotta get it-...lose a lot of money if we don't-..."

[shaybean54]

"Well, live and learn."

"Besides i hate to shovel."

[blackadder3]

"You know son 40% of all accidents ..." "OH SHUT UP WILL YA!"

[sexyscholar]

"You see, Son, we all die alone and afraid."

[mst3KGf]

"Oh, Jack Kevorkian throws a tailgaiting party."

"Don't make the mistake these people made. Don't die."

"I thought we were all paid up this month." "Gonna need another fifty. Real shame if something happened to this land."

"I surrender, officer! What's the charge?" "Hah hah, MANSLAUGHTER!"

"Could you identify this bucket of your brother?"

"75% of all accidents are caused by women's hinders!"

"SKY!"

[LizzieBabes419]

Did Betty (Frank's gf) die, too?

[crispycritterz]

Looks like they made this before the little punk $hitwads started tagging the sides of train cars.

[pitchthedevil]

@crispycritterz Actually, it was Frank's death by the train that pushed his brother over the deep end and into Juvenile Delinquency. Alan was the first tagger:  "Dixon Your Face!", then he got strung out and started the punk band "U.P. Station Agent".

[crispycritterz]

@pitchthedevil And the cop snapped at the end... what a wonderful lesson.

[Hardman5509]

He reached...near insanity!

[TheRaffleTube]

STOP THE NEAR INSANITY!

[NWM11Bravo]

nooooo springs

[alexvlk]

still the best Crow T. Robot

[Spamman523]

"Whoa! Almost ran over Kissinger... I'm gonna hafta go back."

Hands down the funniest short they did!

[LK19691]

you're spending the night in the barn with your crazy cousin X-D

[GregDad100]

Signs of life: "All nude girls." "Whites only."

[VaciliNikoMavich]

"Torro torro...im just kidding" xD

[robertandrei01]

Let me see that ... your not a black female!!!

[flapjackrabbit]

"Here is another hazard of our super-highways that we patrolmen see all too often."

"Women drivers."

Ohhhhhhhhhnh that's bad. X-D

[cavalierfan1995]

IT HAS NO TIME TO STOP FOR YOU CORN SHUCKING CRACKERS!

[cavalierfan1995]

40 percent of all accidents are cause by WOMENS HINDERS!!!!RRRRRRRR!!!!!!

[cavalierfan1995]

kill the wabbit

kill the wabbit

[cavalierfan1995]

tom:i think it might go something like this.......

crow:wait for it

[amerahk]

"Can you identify this bucket full of your brother?"

[kimberthegiver]

"All Nude Girls" "Whites Only"

lmao BRILLIANT

[akeames]

"Yet many people who have lived through a crossing accident will say AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!" ROFLMAO

[coolperson962]

'when will we be getting married?'

'before too long' LOL

[GriffithAMPS]

ladies and gentlemen...it's Officer Killjoy!

[00madbox00]

this all means that if you drive, you are going to automatically die. And is it wrong that i laughed when they got run over?

[00madbox00]

this all means that if you drive, you are going to automatically die. And is it wrong that i laughed when they got run over?

[00madbox00]

this all means that if you drive, you are going to automatically die. Oh and go packers!

[rustyroo82]

mmm union pacific turbine

[pdlbean]

the cop didn't say anything about not doing intensely stupid things!

[MrAerodart]

beavis and butthead are smarter than the people here 

[AkamuSlayer]

The moral of the story is, NEVER allow yourself to be happy, EVER, or you WILL die a HORRIBLE death almost INSTANTLY.

[lJuDsOnl]

@AkamuSlayer

Uhh I believe that its actually... "Who Dies at the Crosswalk...?!" ----- "WE ALL DO!"

[fads90]

"here is another hazard of our highways that we patrolmen see all too often"

"Women drivers" XD

[Arrowdodger]

"Can I have your roooooooom?"

[elrudolfo124]

where did that train come from? the station!

[CrazyCatz135]

"And yet, many people who have lived through a crossing accident will say..." "AHHHHH!!!!"

best line haha

[readyourdarwin]

This short was edited by a guy named Mort FALLICK.

[VastedCouth]

Which episode was the one with the Pumaman action scene where everyone's being thrown against rubber walls?

[PhilWithCoffee]

2:10 ish, hear that? Union Pacific product placement!

[rockjohnson420]

I'm gonna need another $50... Be a real shame if something happened to this land.

[rockjohnson420]

I'm gonna need another $50...  Be a real shame if something happened to this land.

[felson99]

Mikes right, these people must be the laziest farmers ever, they seem to have all day to sit around shooting the breeze.

And the gabby cop parks his butt,,, to go on a protracted lecture to 6 people.

And after all this.... Frank still gets splattered by a train. Not a very effective deterrent of unsafe driving!

[prettysplash5bell]

"Is one of the perks of this job" XD

[SohoEliminator]

the soooouuuuulllllllll train!

[Zewtie]

"What's the charge?"

"Ha ha! MANSLAUGHTER."

[TimelordR]

Only the MST3K crew can make a deadly serious short hilarious!

[ThoughtTraveler]

@TimelordR

You are right. IT is a gift to be able to make this Public Service Film a gag. True Genius.

[PhilWithCoffee]

@TimelordR Yes, and only the 50s could make a deadly, serious short riffable :-P

[OonaCanute]

"It's Big Daddy's birthday! I've got life in me, Big Daddy!" XD

[seventhsheaven]

29 people have lost careless brothers in railway crossing incidents.

[egyptianqueen7m]

"I regret nothing!" LOL

[crispycritterz]

Intensely stupid things while driving... like texting.

playing with your radio/cellphone/cd/dvd player

screwing around with your friends...

not looking where you're going...

Some things never change.

[oORiseAboveOo]

Garganto Cop!

When I'm driving, I always assume the other person is going to do what they're not supposed to. Makes me a lot more cautious.

[kastan06]

Will you identify this bucket full of your brother?

HORRIBLE HAHA

[kastan06]

That heartbreak that never quite heals: like psoriasis :0)

[Blacklemon67]

10:16 looks like the guy from that 70's show!

[pnutbutrncrackers]

Groovy paint job on the cop car @ 00:37. Slow day at Wally's Body Shop?

[FourthDerivative]

Ha, ha! MANSLAUGHTER.

[DerekTheComic]

"I thought we were all paid up."

"Gonna need another fifty, I'm afraid. Real shame if something happened to this land..."

[ekp8525]

"What train?"  Laughed my ass off!!!

[buduglylol]

these were the times when drinking and driving wasn't a big problem

" sir your way over the limit...........I'm gonna follow to you to make sure you get home ok "

[Adamguy2003]

Narrator: Now, where did that train come from?

Crow: The station.

Classic line!

LMAO @ 13:17- 13:22!

[corle1]

"When will we be getting married?"

"Befur to luhng"

[Vortigern99]

29 people are corn-husking crackers.

[TigerTaint]

@Vortigern99 oof, that was a bad one.

[Vortigern99]

@TigerTaint Yes, but in the best way possible.

[MichRockHop81108]

@Vortigern99 Fuck your gay fucking thumb comments 

[Vortigern99]

@MichRockHop81108 Hi Mich! Just so you know, my comment was an ironic reference to a line in the video, and not -- I repeat, NOT! -- in any way an indictment against corn-husking crackers. I myself have been known to husk corn on occasion; and in certain circles it has been averred that I am, indeed, a cracker. So. Word to ya mutha.

[MichRockHop81108]

@Vortigern99 no i just hate it when people think theyre clever for commenting on the number of dislikes.

[Applemask]

At 06:07 - it's Coleman Francis!

[Pennywisea]

10:17 Elmer Fud! :D

[screaminghellion]

"Torro torro. No I'm just kidding." XD

[bunkieb00]

gotta love that '59 Impala!! :D

[Equilibrium2037]

18:40-19:15-Sounds like the prequel to Psycho Cop.

[newsy214]

It's Big Daddy's birthday! I've got LIFE in me Big Daddy!!

[bunkieb00]

LOL those plaid slacks would make anyone's ass look huge :D

[Wikipunani]

11:36 "Whoah! Almost ran over Kissinger! Imma have to go BACK" LOL

[micksmom2]

You're spending the night in the barn with your crazy cousin! LOL!

[Raford146]

I REGRET NOTHING!

[ronvins]

"No passing."

"Doesn't mean it."

[thetallguy5192]

"Can you please identify this bucket full of your brother?"

Nearly died laughing.

[buck2239]

Why don't they look Earnie, why dont they look!

[ErinIsPunk]

Old man: The train sure has the right-away.

Mike: Yeah, whatever...

[PsychicStoner]

stop the near insanity!

[ms0487a]

..."Others we hushed up."

...don't know why that gets me everytime. Must be that voice that Crow does when he says it.

[SadScarecrow]

Don't trust anyone. Turn your back on hope and love.

[durhay]

"You know son %40 of all accid-"

[Darksora46]

@durhay

OH SHUT UP WILL YA?!

XD

[LeviathanoftheDanube]

a stop sign, like this for example.... "is a target" lol

[AzureMach1]

14:28-14:43 "It has no time to stop for you corn shucking crackers!" :)

[angler201]

I can say goodbye from here. :*(. GOODBYE!!!!! LOLZ

[nessagonz3]

@angler201 lmfao!! that part was hillarious!!!!

[Dablkwid0w2008]

Did I ask ya to talk

What train?

Grandpa noooo!

None of your beeswax

Then you deserve to die

Trains are holy blameless creatures

No no ! Yaaaaaghhh!!!!

[Darksora46]

8:19

Tom: RRRRRRRRRR

XD when i first watched this video a long time ago, i thought the same thing as Tom and i imagined "RRRRR"

[jimdrivn]

"Can I Have Your Room?!!!" Ha! ha!

[ChrisAgs88]

I have no feelings for you!

WHAT?!

This is a loveless relationship, i want out!

WHAT!?

I'm repulsed by your touch!

WHAT!?

Let me out right here I hate you!

[Deokishisu]

"Hey look thats my brother in that truck, what was the chances of that happening? Hi brother."