How TV Ruined Your Life - s01e01 (Part 2 of 2)

[Gjeorje]

fun fact - The government`s emergency COBRA office (Cabinet Office Briefing Room A) used to just be called "Briefing Room A", but "BRA" did`nt have quite the same macho-sounding acronym.

[Mr2at]

I was once attacked bye a rabid radio!

[HASHlRAMA]

hahah this program is hillarious (never using a pen again)

[L2MediaB]

"Sue take your close off and set the house on fire and run away" Hahaha Hilarious

[confinedspace2006]

charlie brooker is thy god

[tekqist28]

Haha my mom just came in during the 'way up' scene xD

[SpidermanInLondon]

If pens got hot...

[toxica61]

hang on....this is becoming what it is taking the piss out of,the formula,the Victor Lewis Smith delivery is staggeringly 2nd hand,3rd rate and the Cleesisms are all there.It's the same old middle class guffaw round the fondue set...."dogs on a speedboat...." blah,blah....you can write these lines yourself,just replace 'dogs' with 'Charlie' and speedboat' with 'BBC open cheque'.....marvelous.

[jimmerding]

@toxica61 He constantly preaches about the BBC's / television in general's strict rules and regulations, why would his show not be subject to them ? which in turn would render his shows exactly how he doesnt want them to be, but he cant do much about it. im sure if he could be more of a maverick he would be, but for now he will have to stick to the rules and get away with just cheekily insulting them instead

[TXandUK]

Same PM who fucked a pig?

[Infanticidecide]

@TXandUK No this is the great kevin eldon. Not the guy from black mirror.

[TXandUK]

@Infanticidecide Ah k

[khekhem]

Th laugh after the toddler fell in the water is priceless xD

[JustAboutCrazy]

If pens got hot lol

[NiceHotCupOfBro]

Ow, fuck, what about the--FUCK--pencils? They don't seem AGH SHIT to be OW HOT HOT HOT heating up JESUS SKULLFUCKING CHRIST

[BrainUKOFFICIAL]

07:55 FENTON!!! FENTON!!! OH JESUS CHRIST!

[SOEINEGAUDI]

if they would actually give murder advice on morning tv, i would watch it

...for entertainment only of course. like cooking shows (who actually tries those recipes when there still is mcdonalds and ready-to-eat-meals ?)

[cristiansxxx]

This would be so funny if it wasn't true :(. For example my grandmother is now, thanks to the tv, a very scared old women that thinks that at every street corner there lies a criminal or a pedophile and that there is no hope for humans because we'll all going to die in some apocalyptical event

[Tataveleduc]

Brilliant!

[blobbybag]

It's a little known fact, that when on a speedboat, dogs form a well-ordered crew.

[Surtak]

Ok, maybe that WAS a little funny.

[Surtak]

Hey, thanks for the naked woman telling me to push it "way up" right when my damn folks walked by!

WHAT THE HELL MAN?

[africanchina1]

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SONG!

[mthemoss]

@africanchina1 Its the soundtrack from A Clockwork Orange.

[davidiainmcmahon]

Cool. It's the citizens advice guy from Psychoville as the beast of Brighton.

[tangofizz77]

Great episode. Oo! My keyboards feeling a little hot, must be some kind of hand warmer thing I gues-OK now I cant feel my fingers....OH GOD MAKE IT STOP

[CCNuck]

Oh, yeah, and the vast majority of killers - especially serial killers - are stupid. Dang stupid. Losers. Not suave, not brilliant, just sort of freaky and stupid. Go away, tv depiction of criminals!

[CCNuck]

Holy crap this is interesting. I'm a Criminology student, so we get this stuff drilled into our heads right quick - crime rates are constantly falling, barely anyone is murdered, the people most likely to get killed are young criminals, and in general stuff is doing pretty good.

I love you, Charlie Brooker <3

[Nautilus1972]

@CCNuck Exactly, i don't watch the news anymore, it's all bollocks, and on American 'news' they only refer to the Federal Reserve as an advisory body and not the evil thieving bastards that they are.

[aaron9099]

Is it wrong that around about the 11 minute mark I spontaneously picked my desk pen and violently threw it out the 4th floor window?

[alterspur]

@aaron9099 Yeah it is, you should of done it much sooner!

[gomptwoky]

i'm putting my pens in the freezer from now on. 0_o

[MurphaMoo]

Ironically, this has now got me terrified of actually watching any TV at all.

[belisariusorb]

The reason today seems scarier than the Cold War is not just media hysteria, it's the loss of an overall framework of security, which the Cold War paradoxically had. This has effects in all areas, for example -

In the Cold War days the capitalist countries couldn't let capitalism run out of control because there was a rival communist system waiting in the wings to pounce on people's dissatisfaction. So leaders made sure the system didn't tip over into chaos.

Today? Well, look around you...

[ToBi19591]

what about the clockwork orangae theme in the video?

[LoonShia]

I see a meme growing, slowly but surely, in these comments. But WHAT IF... people could no longer use overused expressions of internet-based humour in their comments? WHAT IF... memes got hot?

[zieraq]

TV shows like CSI actually educating murderers how to cover their tracks after it happen. It works really well that in my country a lot of murder case goes unresolved especially if the body is burned. Later if police officers caught one of them they will force the killers to admit & loosely link to a lot of other murder case so the unresolved case numbers becomes minimal. After that the certain police officer most likely got promotion coz of his record of solving case. Case closed!

[jimmyleg5]

Lol, Reagan wrote his diary with a crayon. Hi-larious.

[alexanderheritage]

@jimmyleg5 And was the only U.S. president to sign a treaty banning a whole variety of nuclear weapons and greatly reducing total stockpiles in both major superpowers. Wat an dummy - am sure obama gonna go to iran and b cool wid der shit and make dem put down dey big blap guns because he all about change.

[CaptainTooner]

I hate the news.

[Xelamorph67]

I hope my keyboard doesn't randomly start bur- Ow! It hurts!

[adicakes]

'we'll never get through this by meaninglessly jabbering over eachother like..dogs on a speedboat' - best line of the episode

[ciaracustard]

Haha I was writing when I was watching this and dropped my pen out of fear.

[gaurix]

TV used to be the only thing I wasn't afraid of, then I saw this on TV.

[221b]

That's it. From now on I'm keeping my pens in the freezer.

[aaron4820]

brooker's programmes have really good sound tracks... nathan barley included

[Andreask93]

Anyone else see what it said in the corner when they mentioned the government at 12:04m ?

[mat1873]

02:24 missle launcher mounted on machine gun....... Duh Winning!

[MyBroSux24]

for the fact, the german parent format of crimewatch has been established in 1967 and is, like the BBC's show ongoing until now

[OscillationFurnace]

Oh god, I love this.

And, of course, it's actually making a serious point. Which makes it even funnier.

[DylanofMD]

Ow ow I'm gone kill you all ow

[Omnicius]

"Peril Consultant" is my new dream career

[runukinfuts]

Shlomo should get the acting award! (0:52)

[risforRahima]

If pens got hot... HAHAHA

[THET2236]

btw there is a murder hotline just post a thread on 4chan what to do

[THET2236]

its more internet now then television

[bensoylemistim]

IKEA Spikenzeet <- lol'd

[blackcat8sb]

i've just destroyed evey pen in my house and now its the keyboards turn oh and lol at COBRA command

[WhenYouveGoneGuru]

The pens thing was a pretty dishonest satire. While events like a meteor impact or a super volcanic eruption are unlikely they are physically possible and I don't see what's so wrong with exploring the idea for the sake of entertainment. I've seen many such shows and don't feel I have any irrational fears of devastating disasters. I'm a huge Dexter fan too but my only concerns about crime came from a string of robberies by heroine addicts in my home town.

[jusblaze99]

@WhenYouveGoneGuru

yeah BUT the doc does have a good point at the end about how tv makes real events seem..... fake. Like the clip where the one guy compares the suicide bomber videos to the show 24. And how a lot of news media are hyping up wat happened in japan with the nuke plant and making it seem like a tv drama. I watch those national geographic disaster shows too and its not bad or anything but this doc brings up some interesting points...

[WhenYouveGoneGuru]

@jusblaze99 True, this episode has its merits, the bit about some of those PSAs for example. On the radio I keep hearing these stupid PSAs claiming if someone approaches you on the street you should immediately dial 911 on your cell phone without pressing send, as if every random passer by is a potential mugger/rapist.

[atomicbreaker]

09:50

If the Hadron Collider went wrong it would open a portal to the Combine from Half life 2 apparently.

[hollyakapest100]

Fuck, can no longer look at my pens in the same way, those evil creeps

[hellbabe92]

Random explosions are funny for some reason. If they made an hour long show that's just sketches that end in random explosions I'd watch it.

[ClioMako]

They could have used pencils instead,thought I'm pretty sure they would heat as well...

[GGMS86]

7:25 is a good moment.

[JoeDetected]

ow ths is brilint shit ow

[Rentaghost76]

OMG, @8:42 so sick, but sooo funny! Lol!

[451harri]

4:34

Cheers for the nightmares, you pricks.

[Scwirul]

I have a hot voice... Y'know.. gather round ladies.

[ironfistking]

HAHAHAAAAAHHAAAHHAAH HAAAAAA!hahahaha!!!

[theunidropout]

Nevermind his eye. That would stay open even if you sawed his head off.....lol

[rmeddy1]

Fucking pens how do they work?

[sl294406]

I like how at 2:23 the soldier running down the street has a bazooka attached to his rifle. WTF?

[tomrichugpeltho]

@sl294406 and a grenade launcher underneath. He looks like he wants to get the job done.

[Herbstkoenigin]

german television is a TOTAL bore!! So no charlie that would not happen in german television

[huunhuur2]

If pens got hot! hahahaha

[thegeekanoid]

"thanks steve don't make anymore films!" lol

[FFKHmaniac]

I wonder how they do the typing across the screen to demonstrate the time when all the pens, keyboards and throats are getting hot.....I am joking before anyone has a go.

[Goldernie]

Oh no! Now I'm scared of being scared by TV thanks to this show! D:

[Herbstkoenigin]

@Goldernie so true!!

[sledgyb]

Thank you for posting this, great documentary :)

[zaskar14]

class! Thanks for uploading this. best thing on tv. Just need the dogs on a speedboat now

[JoeChinsChains]

Ow hey thanks a lot for posting argh christ

[lemonandjack]

@JoeChinsChains ow you're welcome piss off grrr

[MetalGearN30]

Beth Cordingly... good lord I had the serious hots for her when she was on The Bill...

[davedapunk]

What is the music playing at 0:46?

[superhamzah85]

@davedapunk

March for the funeral of Queen Mary.

[RoofTopBoozers]

I am glad Charlie cleared up where I knew that woman on 8:33 from :D ha ha

[pacmansays]

999 scared me so much as a kid

[rorrt]

I remember absoloutly loving 999

I remember a cracker when there was a fish and chip shop owner and one night the fella forgot to turn off the deep fat fryer, it started bubbling, and boiling the oil. It began spewing boiling hot oil everwhere, and spread all over the floor, not just the floor of the kitchen but of the whole lower floor

The fella went downstairs in the dark...Slipped over in the oil and burnt his bum...

The last part was him sitting by an open window with his arse hanging out

[fleamarket3000]

the "artisan killer" thing is so true; even prolific serial killers are never as ingenious and mysterious as they are portrayed in movies and TV

[rorrt]

@fleamarket3000

The Zodiac Killer probably was.....And thats about it...

He invented a code for his letters to police.

[ShaunB182]

999 was the most terrifying show when I was a child. I used to make excuses like pretending to be ill just so we wouldnt watch it. Very rarely worked though .. :-(

[stupidintellect90]

I remember Crimewatch frightening me so much when I was younger, the reconstructions were the worst parts, I didn't show my fear so I continued watching it ...and 999 made me into such a careful child, I feel it kind of ruined a little part of my childhood where I've never broken a limb, fallen off a tree (although i've climbed several) or gotten lost

[juliusmandrake]

Does he have to nick Kubrick soundtracks (Barry Lyndon, Clockwork Orange) for absolutely everything he does?

[lemonandjack]

@juliusmandrake Does it matter? How many times do you think that people who aren't first year arts students watch Kubrick?

[legolas11795]

@lemonandjack - Im not. Im a 30 year fan of Kubrick,who watches his films over and over, discusses the lighting genius of Barry Lyndon, the allegory in 2001, and the controversial ending of Clockwork Orange as infinitum... And as far as Im concerned, Charlie Brooker can use those soundtracks again and again. They, as he, are brilliant.

[lemonandjack]

@legolas11795 Always good to hear from somebody who has something positive to say. I'm not against Kubrick fans if you are a genuine fan, just sick of little wankers coming on here and slagging off things that they chose to watch repeatedly. Used to get people getting all excited and superior because they recognised Charlie's clocks as a "Network" tribute and then they'd slag him off for liking the same thing that they do! Alas, I succumbed to the temptation to be a Bitchy McAsshole.

[AtTheApostasy]

@lemonandjack

The same can be said for whenever Brooker uses the theme tune from John Carpenter's 'The Thing'. He used it a lot in Screenwipe and Newswipe but I don't complain as it fits really well with the segments he was doing and it's a great piece of music.

[legolas11795]

@lemonandjack -- I must say, i stole Bitchy McAsshole from you. I did give you credit.. I called my brother Bitchy McAsshole and said,"yea ,its good,but I stole it from some guy on youtube".. I know its no fun being refered to as "Some guy",but hey, its the thought that counts... Very very funny

[kly45]

@legolas11795 Well, the "clockwork orange" tune was already a piece by Henry Purcell written for the funeral of Queen Mary, arranged by Wendy Carlos, and they are using the original version rather than the clockwork orange one

[bennotben]

@lemonandjack Full Metal Jacket is still one of the best Vietnam films ever made... plus he also likes to use Requiem an awful lot...

[fleamarket3000]

@juliusmandrake he's obviously a fan. Why not use some of the best music from some of the greatest movies ever made?

[Hertje73]

@juliusmandrake The Clockwork Orange soundtrack was made by Wendy Carlos. And the music you hear in this show is the Beethoven original. Not the same..

[propagandos]

@juliusmandrake thanks for the information. i was remembering the music but thaught it was from mad max :)

[TheRealBarnez]

@juliusmandrake he doesn't NICK them. He uses them. You don't see films going "THIS IS THE SONG WE'RE USING" do you? :P

[CliveGotham]

Thanks from Finland!

[PimSteinmann]

Also, thanks for uploading indeed! :)

[PimSteinmann]

Love Brooker, hate these sketches with other guys.

[ghfyoug]

thanks for uploading! charlie brooker is the best!

[richardmaudsley77]

COBRA command!

[possibledrew]

Thanks from Taipei

[arsoni5t]

Great! Now i live in constant fear of a sudden rise in pen temperature...

[riDDimann]

That wire in the blood thing is just horrible. Not cool, TV. NOT COOL.

[lonesomeflower]

@riDDimann I saw it when it was first on. It still appears in my nightmares...

[zab666]

Thank you, too from Germany. Although I was busy watching a tramp and a bullmastiff on TV.

[AlexSpalex1]

Thank you too. From Hudsonville, Michigan.

[lightsgolow]

And thank you from Finland too :)

[langtongirl]

Thanks for uploading. From Toronto, Canada!