Dirty the Pooh, Chapter One

[ChanielDan]

take all my money

[Ihdc1]

was that concatenated from clips or did he actually read it for you

[fudgepanteys]

SO MUCH PINGING

JIM DALE MUST BE USING THE INTERNET

[roguemofo8]

i wish jim dale would do this without making people do it themselves

[Ebrainiac1]

PENUS.

[redquoter]

oh fuck my sides

[polonium9]

aw man.... i hate moldy penis.

[iannerd97]

@polonium9

Do you remember me?

[pieislikesoawesome]

I expect exactly 69 thumbs up.

[handofstand]

@pieislikesoawesome what about 696?

[KeybladeKorney]

da dada da THIS IS JIM DALE BRFP BRFP BRFP BRFP BRFP POIK F F FPOIK BRFP POIK

[schmagum]

@KeybladeKorney The strange thing is, you actually got that bit spot on. Skeet!

[TheHalloweenHead]

lmfao jesus christ

[BandicootSugar45]

XD

[kanderan1]

Either Jim Dale's voice is orgasmic, or his voice along with the vivid images projected are giving me a boner.

[uglyd0g]

@2:35

[SaltedPingas]

Wow, either Jim Dale got fired from his job or you're an amazing sound editor!

[TheStrongBadMan]

Can anyone tell me what Pooh's hum was? I couldn't understand it.

[TheCheshireLion]

Trying soooooo hard not to crack the fuck up in the library right now. Listening to this without being able to laugh out loud is truly the most agonizing torture.

[Dawngaward0110]

@TheCheshireLion

If you want to shit

You must put it into Piglet

And the shit if it's shitty, if it's shitty in the shit

And you know that you have shitted how much shit you can shit

Yeeees you knoooow what the amount is

And so therefore you will DIE!

[schmagum]

@Dawngaward0110 My mother used to sing that to me when I was a child.

[Dawngaward0110]

@schmagum good lord

[TheSecondComingRXSC]

A pineapple in your cock? Talk about fucking nightmare inducing.

[usahp]

Nine people didn't win a piece of paper at school....

[Sirronkcuhc1]

Best. Winnie the Pooh. EVER.

[Lerborn]

I litsen to these before I go to sleep

[superpheonixfire]

Maybe we'll all die...painfully. Love the foreshadowing.

[Dawngaward0110]

I actually think Jim Dale is the kind of man who would have a laugh at this kind of things.

[KuKlutsKat]

@Dawngaward0110 He isn't, in fact the dirty potter crew tried to add him on fb or twitter, and they got a block.

[drewcox010101]

a stupid black nigger goes poo poo in bed

[AhcriSlate]

omg the closed captions are almost as funny as the actual story xD

[Gandalfgrey93]

7 rubbery cocks for each day of the week

[sweatyourblood]

when christopher robin had finished wiping the dollops of sperm off his fingers and onto his handkercheif, and off his handkercheif and back onto his fingers, and off his fingers and in his mouth, he handed pooh a piece of paper.

OH MY GAD i actually died.

[EhrenCG]

With him this decision, Justin, independently from kids by just in part a rent for you by Jim Dale. Chapter one, in which a rabbit almost everything writing music last and just you could black nigger. Foolproof in bed.

[newyorkment]

non stop lulz from start to finish. It's so wrong, yet I'm dying of laughter.

[scroll625]

haha, nice. This was funnier than expected

[THECOSMONAUT100]

you just raped my childhood

[YourZabbas]

"Magic Mushrooms for his first day of school"

[enkopingsbo]

"they all died painfully"

[enkopingsbo]

nigger sound 

[BubbleBobble1996]

This is so funny! XD

[MrAluminumJacket]

Dang! I've been listening to random audiobooks for months now, and was contemplating posting some audio poops of them. But you beat me too it!

This is some of the best stuff I've ever listened to.

[Jkchunt]

I WON THE GAME

[JSL50X]

Is it bad if i memorized every single one of these videos?

[KeybladeKorney]

They were playing a game called: licking the massive big enooourmus black fat BONER cleean

[Resimaster]

"For himself- His own cum. Which they slurped before it turned dry and crusty." Aaaarrrrgh!!!!!

[InspectorKimball]

The captions are actually right some of the time here. XD

[KENNYPWNAGE]

I must say, i used think this wasn't that good. But now i think it's an amazing piece (of poo) of sound splicing

[Timstuff]

Doesn't Piglet realize that by winning the game, he loses?

[beese123]

@dirtypottertube will there be another dirty audio book? Ive heard something about the adventures of fuckbeak, is this true?

[dirtypottertube]

@beese123 we are working on a new jim dale book, that's all i can say

[DelilahThePig]

Oh, wow... 

I like the little song Pooh hums towards the end.

All three parts are great.

[beese123]

no no NOOO I CANT BREATHE, MY LUNGS ARE FAILING, I CANT STOP LAUGHING IM GONNA DIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[drum4816]

5:27 For Rabbit, a book called 1001 useful hints for spraying Christopher Robin with (gasp!) RICH (gasp!) DAMP (gasp!) SHIT!

I completely lost it there.

[MinnowsAreRad]

Best micspam ever.

[heartlandvideogame]

jewish handicapped nazi?

[keevune]

XD

8+ ppl have no sense of humor

[BrownyTCat]

"Watersports."

[BrownyTCat]

"I won this at school!"

Captions: I wonder soup spoons!

[Boredman567]

right after " rapping sound yeah nigga" the captions said "ethnic sound"

[bluecore7]

And Pooh was kind enough. And did. And liked it. Very much.

[DirtySplicingInc]

Caption: "They were playing a game called licking the massive enormous black fat bono king."

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA

[TheRussellnificent]

Did I just got laid?

[zerathul13]

I went out without my testicle case... and I lost my testicles.

[PattyWhomperOFFICIAL]

monty python meets south park...

[Timstuff]

0:57 Oh Piglet, that's not how the rules work. By thinking about the game, you just LOST. And I just lost the game.

[speedzonefilms]

Dirty Potter has met his match

[heartlandvideogame]

1:59-2:01 FTW LOLOLOLOL

[6spongey98]

oh god transcribe audio

best thing ever.

[hl2isbestv2]

and a rapping (yeah nigger!) sound lol that got me

[althegamefreak]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD MMMMOOORNING NIGGERS!!

[24komodo]

What disney DIDN'T want you to hear!

[thomasbaron06]

@24komodo ROFLMFAO! XD,

i can't breathe! hahahaha

[VideoGameNerd777]

This is great. Must've been a bitch to sentence-mix though.

[Mannike54]

I love this so much.

This is truly a work of art.

BTW, can someone tell me what the song is at 4:41?

[AhcriSlate]

I could listen to this every day and still Laugh my ass off. Are you going to make any more?

[WumWip]

OMG!!!!!!!! This almost KILLED ME!!! I laughed soooooo much at this!!!!!!!

[BananaSandwich1]

4:07 halariousness

[Athils]

"Then they have been an important time for cheese."

Thanks again closed captions for assisting the hearing impaired in understanding audio.

[danecook321]

Nice "Ren & Stimpy" music in the background!

[dirtypottertube]

@JakariHanma u mad?

[animefan848]

@JakariHanma Flagged for spam and being unable to take a joke^^

[dirtypottertube]

@JakariHanma Someone should really rip off your dick and fuck your own ass with it.

That's all.

Niggerface.

[DevoutSkeptic]

"And a rapping. Yeah! Nigga sound."

[PirateNaziZombie]

And a rapping yeah niggah sound

[DYOLFMOT]

pooh is a unic

[Ryuhza]

I think you should go shake your fucking pants and kill yourself instantly.

[MemeAMeme]

Christopher Robin is a furfag.

[sozaj]

hey, do you think that you (or somebody here) could post the actuall audio books of this. I want to see if I can pick out what you used. Especially the crazy stuff from part 3.

[Vertigo688]

Golden shower of fucking pineapples.

[Nattacus]

shlurp

[TheAshkenaziWrestler]

I actually got a little lost as to just what Christopher Robin's Prize had been.

Some kind of jewish nazi handicapped nigga bulldyke midget dick, as in a living appendage independant of its owner or a statue of one or something like that?

[hardkorerave]

Fucking furries.

[nerdelicious5]

and a pogo stick...up the butthole

[honor678]

I love the gift part at 4:43, piglets gift always makes me laugh

[tba527]

"My goodness! its nearly time for a donkey punch!" XD

[diasflac69]

One dislike?! Who the fuck did that?!

[Tirgo69]

I love this Jim Dale breakdown.

[CampFireDance]

Where did that evil-looking pooh come from? I recognize the drawing but can't for the life of me think of the artist that drew it.

[TheCoffeePilot]

"And a pirate sound (aye aye sir!)"

[RoflmaoStudioz]

this is just fucked.

[LongHairedLoser]

Sir

You need to advertise this. You need to get people to know how epic you are.

And ruin a few childhoods while you are at it.

[eleveninches]

OMG, this is so full of win

[ShanesTubes]

lol, "and a rapping (yeah, nigga!) sound"

[ShanesTubes]

I almost suffocated from laughing...

[fuzzydude64]

This is some of the best sentence mixing I've ever heard! Rivaling even that of WalrusGuy. Nice work.

[herooftime1000]

@fuzzydude64 This sentence mixing is professional compared to all those poopers.

[Tanis1kanan]

this is fucking amazing.

[chapaev36]

Was Waldfield somehow responsible for this?

[dirtypottertube]

@chapaev36 no its just coincidence that jim dale decided to read this book last year.

go listen to the second chapter though lol

[chapaev36]

@dirtypottertube I've listened more than once. Filthy yet hilarious.

[xIegionx]

@dirtypottertube i thought the dirty potter crew and waldfield were two different people

[dirtypottertube]

@xIegionx we are, although we are also good friends

[schmagum]

I looked at you all and said "Good morning, niggers". Then I lead you back to my house. There we had many hot and tight orgies, and it made you feel good just to look at it, and made you want to rub one off to it.

[schmagum]

I just heard a whirring sound and a clickety sound and a pinging sound and a pooping sound and a fucking sound and a gulping sound and a farting sound and a shitting sound and a pissing sound and a fapping sound and a rapping (yeah, nigger) sound and a burping sound and a crunching sound and a...umm, err, pinging sound and, err, a pinging sound and a pirate sound (aye, aye, Sir). And there I was, just as I had always been (except I was a faggot).

[bad4urhealth123]

The Indian said all we need from said he did

[Ryuhza]

The funniest shit I've ever heard.

[DirtySplicingInc]

I love how the "transcribe audio" caption mistakes most of the words in this video, but somehow inconspicuously gets the word "nigger" correct.

Coincidence? Or is the Google staff chock full of racists?

[spiceyvideo]

The transcribed CC's hold their own within the imense humor..

[PissedOffLion]

it was a perfect storm of the end of congress often; (Democrats)

[LuciusTheFair]

What do you need a testicle case for?

[accentman917]

@LuciusTheFair" It would take too long to explain"

[TriggerheartExcelica]

1:21

I wish my entrances could be that dramatic.

[kinzukiwi]

that in fact the limo six fulbright commited to bush and you can't not the need to get - thanks, closed captions.

[gamergator]

A masterpiece.

(of a poo, that is)

[NinjaKow0]

A testicle case for Owl, in case he lost his testicles, because- well, it'd take too long to explain.

[xd4lyfe]

Transcribe audio....

GLORIOUS!

[ensis]

@xd4lyfe

YESH!

you will ejaculate trough your butt with laughter

[thesoul55]

"And there he was Christopher Robin as he had always been, except he was a faggot."

LOL

[Korolev61]

Piglet, you are the game.

[gmmg93]

i won the game!!!!

[Boonz5583]

Eeyore: mmmmm, crisp and juicy. For crunchyness and fullness of flavor there is nothing to beat Piglet's very fine, purple penus! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[BlazeInRhye]

Read for you

agenda

[dirtypottertube]

What does that mean?

(It's bugging me tell me)

[BlazeInRhye]

Hahaha, It's in the captions! Sorry for the confusion, and putting you through a whole day of wondering. I'm sure you couldn't sleep at night.

[LongHairedLoser]

On the closed captions when it says 'Read for you by Jim Dale' the closed captions read 'Read for you angenda'.

[DarthWobbey]

@dirtypottertube I think it's supposed to be Jim Dale saying what he says at the beginning, "Read for you by Jim Dale." If you say it fast enough, "by Jim Dale" sounds kinda like "agenda."

[domokunomgrun]

testicle case? XD

[TheDevilbuster]

Well, it would take too long to explain.

[HeatLegs]

Maybe we'll all DIE paaainfoolly...

[Korolev61]

Wow, the audio transcription correctly translate nigger and bullshit out of all words.

[chaosgammaray18]

I was wondering, where can I find the music that was used here?

[dirtypottertube]

@chaosgammaray18 The music at the beginning is just the winnie the pooh theme. Everything after that is actually from the ren & stimpy production music collection (tip i got from spazkid of sonichu the animated series.)

If you want I'll send you a PM to where you can find it.

[chaosgammaray18]

Sure.

[dirtypottertube]

@chaosgammaray18 You have friend lock on so you need to add me as a friend before I can send you the links.

[Boonz5583]

...I wondered Pooh, whether you would be kind enough to eat it for me? And Pooh was kind enough...and did...and liked it, very much!

ROFLLMAO!!!

[HeatLegs]

I'm guessing the randomness of the subtitles were done on purpose?

[Wxnzxn]

The randomness of the subs is because they are generated automatically by youtube based on their speech recognition. It's comparable to hilariously bad google-translation.

[HeatLegs]

Oh yeah, LOL! Thanks for informing me. :)

[Wxnzxn]

Oh, the captions add a completely new level of hilariousity to this masterwork. There are too many lolable moments here.

[dirtypottertube]

I lol'd so fucking hard at -

Probably retarded = probably reads Harvard.

ROFLCAUST

[Rogultgot]

"It was July"

Caption: It was June.

Amazing.

[wayne388]

@Rogultgot Voice recognition FAIL!

[papoj1PVR]

@Rogultgot

How'd you even get captions? It doesn't seem to be available for this vid for me. D:

[cheezyman2k7]

LOL! XD

pee-nus!

[QuintusCunctator]

I particularly liked the ending, when Piglet turns evil for no apparent reason.

Oh, and about the subtitles: I guess not even DirtyPotter could have ever expected a twist like "Christopher Robin Hood".

[gmmg93]

1:56 lol

[chaosgammaray18]

lol 3:06 captions "He Had Cut Himself"

[edward550]

i dont know whats better, DTP or youtube's subtitles lol

[edward550]

but id have to say this

[DirtySplicingInc]

Aside from Jim Dale's rant, here's one of my favorite parts:

"For Owl, a testicle case, in case he lost his testicles because... oh, well, it would take too long to explain."

I really want to know the backstory behind that sentence. XD

[russiandumbass]

Top score, once again!

[dirtypottertube]

If anybody is interested, my favorite part of this chapter that never fails me make me laugh is the way eeyore says penis at 3:44

[1337guitarist17]

I was actually gonna mention that.

It can be tricky to splice vulgarities using specific character's voices, since the vocabulary can be limited, so when it's pulled off well it's hilarious.

[1337guitarist17]

Oh yah, this is DirtySplicingInc's other account.

[ShadowtailsST]

Oh wow, you weren't kidding when you said it would be the best, incredible work. When Pooh admitted to eating tasty testes, I came everywhere.

[dirtypottertube]

i just tried the audio transcribe and it was hilarious. Half the stuff it crapped out sounded like something Aphex Twin would name one of his songs.

[aquasloth]

Wow, Google's translate feature is totally FAIL.

2:55 - "I want school she's even if found to shooting to school them feel not the program marks the first time this but he think that I am morning Christopher Darden he had cut himself."

WHAT THE FUCK

[BitchinnShoes07]

What is wrong with the transcribe audio?

are the closed captions on crack?

[Korolev61]

Apparently the new audio transcription feature translates the cum sound as "really".

[taterman1234]

And also a pirate sound!

*aye aye, sir!*

[TheBloodOfGoodman]

I came!

[StrangeStickMovies]

I love you.

[Azukido]

"One thousand and one useful hints for spraying Christopher Robin with

RICH

DAMP

SHIT"