Special Investigation - Atheist Alert

[George4943]

Ye Gods and Little fishes! I followed the link to the "inspiration." I threw up a little in my mouth.

Atheism: I believe in Nothing. Worship Nothing. Do the ritual of doing Nothing special. I pray to Nothing.

I am a human being being human and so know right from wrong. Sandbox morality if nothing else: No hitting (or bullying), share the toys (common wealth), no stealing (there is stuff that is owned), no lying (except when lying is actually a good). You are a human being being human too.

[MrChaos424242]

the person who makes these videos strikes me as a deist, is he?

[Ledwix]

It's hilarious when creationists say that evolution is not only a description of the reality around us but also NECESSARILY a moral ideology as well. That's like saying believing in gravity means you are in favor of people falling off cliffs and dying or that believing in electromagnetism means you are in favor of people getting struck by lightning.

[ilovelani69]

I used to be christian, and this is EXACTLY what they say when you tell them that now you're an Atheist.

[JosipOnDeck]

lmaooo @ Joseph Stalin.

[paramattic70]

@mrmaxtruth 8% of the population have the ability to think independently and intelligently. I guess you just follow the herd? It's not about believing cuz everyone else does. You sir are mentally and morally retarded with no ability to critically think and have no common sense or reasoning.

[theciircusfreak]

@fuckmania07

Fatal syntax error (line 01,02,03): "HELL" does not exist, try again.

_

[arbitraryInteger]

"Scholarly qualitative research," oh that is amusing.

[luigifanist]

this is not what Christians are like

[FatRakoon]

@luigifanist

But thats pretty much 100% accurate on what the vast majority of American YECs are like...



[Applesmaush]

@luigifanist

You would say otherwise if you've actually encountered such people with arrogant ignorance.

I frequently find myself in these discussions and, though most don't suffer all of the video's examples, I've encountered at least a few of each.

[hrsqsiest]

When does the cartoon start? If I had wanted too watch Fox I would have turned on my tv.

[nrsagittarius]

@hrsqsiest ~ lmao!

[krl640]

WTF I cant work this out .is it meant to beFunny.

[Akandos]

lol...



[8698gil]

I love nonstampcollector's sense of humor. I also really liked "Atheists SECRETLY believe in yahweh", because it's something I've heard many times. Why do theists think everyone has to have a supernatural belief? That if we don't believe in gods we must believe in satan, or else they try to twist atheism into a belief system.

[Tyssilago]

The sad part is that this isn't entirely inaccurate.

[MagnusNyborg]

Amazingly this video shows a tangible slice of reality, good job!

[joeyt5000]

Great story... compelling and rich

[jadagod]

" i can't remember if he mentioned Stalin by name but it's amazing how he always comes up in these arguments" lolololol

[mrquinnie429]

I can't stand people like that, even if it's a joke.

[BlackDevilJayko]

What the fuck was NonStampCollector thinking when he uploaded a video from FAUX News?! I Mean, they are going to claim copyright!

[fatouche99]

Religion is ego disguised as humility.

[drumline17]

NO, NO, WE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT on television

[b33p3rz]

This is almost spot on to Fox lmao, put a ticker on the bottom with funny sayings and Fox will sue you like they did the Simpsons, haha.

[Dubickimus]

I knew this was satire but i couldn't help but rage all over the place because i knew that some people actually think like this.

[TheWeepingCorpse]

@Dubickimus yeah but thank god their numbers are diminishing. see what I did there.

[Gwyain100]

I don't get why you're so popular among atheists. I mean it's not like your hilarious and objectively give the facts. Or that you fairly accurately portray the characters represented in your videos.

You god markers will all be double damned for this... Checkmate!!! you god-mocking scum.

[ArtistryofDebauchery]

@Gwyain100 The "checkmate!!!" gave it away lol :p

[trueChaos23]

@Gwyain100 lol at you :P

[vmorgun]

I am not an atheist but I think an atheist is a much better person than a person who shifts his/her responsibility to a god. That is horrible.

[vmorgun]

LOL

[VesusSheist]

The sad thing is that NSC didn't just make up all these dumb arguments...these are arguments that religious fundamentalists produce all the time when "debating" with atheists and other rational people.

[Templarforever]

*Atheists and meaning*

"I am just a primate living in a pointless world of make believe values and self delusional meaning, and I feel super."

[lysolcoke2HD]

@Templarforever That is exactly what every person is. Including you, you just give yourself something to live for, just like every other person. Stop trying to act like everyone is fundamentally different to you just because you believe in a 2000 year old book that seems to be the only 'proof' of this god you speak so highly of. Go be a pious asshole somewhere else. Same with the rest of you. Cool, you believe in god. I don't watch your propaganda videos and tell you god DOESN'T exist, do I?

[VesusSheist]

@Templarforever No, you're just another theist decimating a strawman argument and then reveling in your contrived superiority.

And there is no "atheist ethic". All atheists only have one thing in common: we don't believe that gods are real.

[Templarforever]

If an atheist kills millions of people, he must not have been an atheist. Because that would totally violate the atheist ethic. whatever that is....

[thismortalsoul]

@Templarforever There is no atheist ethic, there are simply human ethics, one needs only to be human to get that.

[boobtuber06]

rather presumptuous

[deathtris]

Christian mingle ads: because chicks dig atheists.

[DragonsREpic]

So ironic

[insainbassist]

Lmao, the part involving Darwin was hilarious.

[Amni0ni]

"Special" Investigation indeed!

[superhamzah85]

Fox News is a conspiracy by comedians to create a news channel that requires absolutely no need for any further satire.

[MardasMan]

@superhamzah85

/watch?v=wDvgbj3apAU

They are so good in it, that they now satirized this nsc-Video by remaking it (at least until 3:00) exactly like here.

[superhamzah85]

@MardasMan

lol I saw that earlier today, they've pretty much perfected the art.

If there was a beep for every logical fallacy, all you'd hear is one long series of beeps. Which is what I would sound like on normal TV if I was filmed watching Fox News. :-\

[kenshin9894]

@superhamzah85 awsome ^^

[1GTX1]

@superhamzah85 Thats also my opinion

[funcpl2741054]

@superhamzah85 yes, I agree that fox news is full of idiots, but so are all the rest of the networks. re: Katie Couric , Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, Keith Olberman, George Stephanopolis, Ed Schultz....and the quenn of fools Contessa Brewer.

[Seasurf88]

You've created the highest quality satire. Thank you and bravo!

[iliveon]

Btw, this video is genuis

[iliveon]

That as an atheist, his religion is evolution. Which means he doesn't see anything wrong with raping anyone he wants in order to pass on his genes in a sick homage to Charles Darwin LOL

[Chilldudeski]

LAWL It's so funny to see all the idiot christian comments who didn't catch the satirical message of this video.

[TyRafferty]

he looked like he was going kill the interviewer.

[luciefurr1]

Ahahaha..! that was hilarious... and so spot on.... brilliant!

[tylergirly]

there are no words for how brilliant you are.

thank. you.

[QBRebel16]

That was Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh when they were younger.

[Templarforever]

ATHEISM

Assholes That Hate Everyone Including Secretly Themselves

[QBRebel16]

@Templarforever Wow, that's clever. You do realize that you spelled a word wrong. You say ATHEISM, but you then spell out the word ATHEIST. So, which word did you spell wrong?

[iliveon]

@Templarforever Funny how I do hate myself, my family, my girlfriend, and my job, the community, the president, youtube people, my children, my house, my neighborhood, all black people, all white people, all gays, all homophobes, all transgendered people born that way, all dogs that chew up bibles, all muslims, all christians, and even i hate atheists. Wow ur cool

[PwnzingFilms]

@Templarforever RELIGION

Retards Elevating Lies Into General Information-giving Organisations Negatively.

Oh wait, I spelled it right.

LOL.

[inputverifier]

@Templarforever Christians: striving towards eliminating science class, and who can't stand criticism, since their claim is baseless.

[Templarforever]

@inputverifier

What the fuck are you talking about? All Christians don't live in the bible belt of fundamentalist you dishonest piece of shit. Anyways check this out

If an atheist kills millions of people, he must not have been an atheist. Because that would totally violate the atheist ethic. whatever that is....

[inputverifier]

@Templarforever wow.. you have sure learned about the love of the heavenly father, lol.... Hypocrite.

[inputverifier]

@Templarforever "Atheist ethic" is a moral system that is mostly objective, somewhat subjective, based on reality, not myth and stupidity. Believe it or not, we don't NEED fairy tales to tell us right from wrong. Guess what.. the morals we have today are not some kind of devine instruction from some kind of sky-daddy. Not to mention, I would really wonder if they would be any better, when I hear from puss-spewing, venomous, hypocritical, confused, unmoral """"christians"""" like you.

[humanistheart]

@inputverifier I wouldn't even call any god a sky-daddy, as they all seamed to work more on terror and force than on favors. But I agree with your point.

[inputverifier]

@Templarforever Your "argument" about killing millions of people is a fallacy. Atheists do bad things, and so do christians, as you are demonstrating with your abusiveness. When some people of a group do bad things, that doesn't make the entire group wrong. There is NO such group that has perfect behavior, and that should be simple to realize. I wouldn't say that christians are assholes based on how you behave, and immoral atheists don't prove that atheist morality is non-existent. OBVIOUSLY

[keith8880]

All this vid needs is a fox news logo on the screen

[alphaenemy]

@TheColaGoodfellow I don't the words in the Bible are true, nor the words of a deity. I think it's more likely they were written to keep people in line in an age of unreason and ignorance. I drew that conclusion from much reasoning. How can the words of this Bible help your use of it in arguments to convince myself and others who think these words are so untrue?

[MrBigEnchilada]

we never say that........on television...

[SquishedButterfly]

is Kent spelled with a hard C, as in complete Cent.

[kpgpwi64]

[insert generic faux news joke]

[TheColaGoodfellow]

Christian Morality:

People deserve what they work for - God worked for/created literally everything - He owns you - You have no right to judge him, because you didn't do anything to earn the opportunity to live.

Any atheist who thinks he has a moral high ground over the Christian God is a hypocrite, God did so much more when creating the world than you have ever done.

[jeuandavidjones]

@TheColaGoodfellow

There are almost certainly no gods; you are also non-believer because you have discounted Zeus, Thor, Osiris etc, probably because you believe they do not exist - ask yourself why you think this? Secondly, most atheists comdemn the mass-murder of children, or the genocide of entire peoples; but your loving god of the bronze age desert tribes commanded just that. So who holds the moral high ground. Finally, as an atheist I never claimed to have created the universe!

[TheColaGoodfellow]

@jeuandavidjones

You might aswell have just told me that you're think you're God. Ofcourse, I wont believe you, because you're talking shit that you (not God) made up yourself.

"most atheists comdemn the mass-murder of children, or the genocide of entire peoples"

Yeah they do, they allow "murder" of many many many innocent animals just so they can live for another day. You're greedy as hell and don't deserve your life unless you worked to earn the opportunity (you didn't).

[TheColaGoodfellow]

@jeuandavidjones

PS. God didn't command murder, he created every aspect of what makes humans human, he has every right to take their life.

Flesh is his property, not yours, you didn't earn the opportunity to have flesh or life.

You are clearly very ungrateful for everything he has given you.

[TheColaGoodfellow]

@jeuandavidjones

Numbers 35:30

Whoso killeth any person, the murderer shall be put to death by the mouth of witnesses.

[jeuandavidjones]

@TheColaGoodfellow

Clearly, you are quite deranged in your delusions and probably a danger to society. I think your insane babblings speak for themselves.

[TheColaGoodfellow]

@jeuandavidjones

"I think your insane babblings speak for themselves."

Well, I'll leave you to your thoughts then I guess.

[paulpizzey1973]

@TheColaGoodfellow You are crazier than bat shit. You should seek psychological help.

[TheColaGoodfellow]

@paulpizzey1973

I'd reply, but I don't have the time to waste.

[Mr360god]

@TheColaGoodfellow Hahahaha Dipshit XD 

[feralaesthetic]

Intentional irony? Pun against Kent Hovind and Ray Comfort unless I'm much mistaken? Good work lol

[mrmidnightmovie]

mr midnight movie approves.

[yesihateyoutoo]

I just noticed, they don't blink....

[mideastatheist]

Welcome to fox news ........we'r dumbs and hate atheism ......... cuz we believe in the bronze age mythologies .!

[lewismurray1]

Kent and Ray, as in Kent Hovind and Ray Comfort?

[Newenlightenmentnow]

Let's see, just color one guy's hair blonde and he's steve douchie, and the other guy can be the "brown haired guy who's not steve douchie". We just need a stupid blonde bimbo to spount nonsense.

[chicoandnibbles]

Hahahaha

[MeBeMat]

Hey look, Fox News has gone High Definition!

[rangerdanadventures]

ROFL

It wouldn't be nearly so funny if it wasn't so true.

[scorpioninpink]

.,wow... it's really like watching fox news...

[linhphan14]

Not all God believer hate atheist, many have open-mind. I'm a atheist but I have many christian friends that accept me for what I believe. Stop this stereotype!

[uyenst]

@linhphan14 :yes, but there are,sadly, many many ppl who I've encountered are EXACTLY like this ;)

BTW:Vietnamese,huh?

[linhphan14]

@uyenst Yes Vietnamese :)

[atheistnarutofan]

@linhphan14 "Stop this stereotype!"

tell me, how is this stereotyping? it's making fun of a common occurrence without claiming that all christians are this why. it seems to me that you are strawmaning NonStampCollector. please don't do that, seeing as he has good videos and you probably don't want to come across as a dumbass.

[freeboyinthewoodsyay]

I love how nonstampcollecter creates the perfect religious assholes. Of course our religious viewers aren't gonna like this.

[lolnopound]

"They either have to admit that everything came from nothing, or they have to admit that they DON'T KNOW XD"

[lolnopound]

"I mean, how do you know what's right if your morals are based on reason, obversation, and a basic concern for the well-being of others. I mean, who knows what that thinking could lead to!"

[ukgreaterlondon]

I STUDIED RELIGION IN SENIOR SCHOOL AND GOD IS A LADY.

earths lady creation lives to protect itself and its young only and nature does that itself all non living being, water or sun light is 24/7 recycled just like lady creation, water comes from the cloud, falls onto the ground evaporates back into the cloud or if not sinks too deep into the soil or deep caves.

GOD IS A LADY AND HER WORSHIPPERS READ PINYIN, SANSKRIT AND CUNEIFORM.

RELIGOUS PROPHETS CREATE JUSTICE AND INVENTION=WESTERN.

[brunosbaby100]

You know the one one red head, hes a retard...

[Krshwunk]

Hey! It's Fox News!!!

Aren't I clever for pointing that out?  I'm so damn clever.

[BlackDevilJayko]

You had to pay for rights over this special to FAUX news?

[FatRakoon]

Brilliant. Nuff said!



[ukgreaterlondon]

@FatRakoon adolf hitler was an atheist and he had morals ; )

[ukgreaterlondon]

@ukgreaterlondon if not children in school would have bullied him.

[glazzzies]

@ukgreaterlondon Adolf Hitler was a brought up a good christian. Good morals there. Educate yourself.

[xXMyGodComplexXx]

Lol this is so much like every single fox news interview I've ever seen.

[tchanabc]

I could have mistaken this for FOX news.

[BreaksFast]

This brings all the memories of all my debates online with theists rushing back. It's funny stuff, but it is sobering to think of how widespread the mentality we see parodied here really is. People are so convinced that they need religion, the have even convinced themselves that it is the only thing holding their lives together. As if everything will fall down if they just stop believeing.

[ukgreaterlondon]

@BreaksFast non fiction media and video gaming is religion because they use theory/theism.

inventors and great thinkers are people who create religion since pre ancient age in history.

MEN THINK RELIGION IS TRUE, LADIES KNOW THE TRUTH.

MEN WHO DO NOT LEARN FROM LADIES END UP ATHEIST OR ABRAHAMIC PREACHING HATE AT OTHER RELIGIONS OF THE EARTH, bengali and oriental dharmic and world paganism and science fiction media and expert knowlege expanded from modern experts.

clues are in reality.

[BreaksFast]

@ukgreaterlondon What are you talking about? And how does it relate to what I said?

[ukgreaterlondon]

@BreaksFast you can't relate pity yourself : D

your comment at the top is anti western.

[BreaksFast]

@ukgreaterlondon No it isn't, and even if it was, you comment still makes no sense. It's gibberish.

[ukgreaterlondon]

@BreaksFast do you know realitists have a higher iq than me and myself an agnostic we have higher iq than you atheists.

agnosticism is a combination of the worlds religions.

i can tell you a raligion that you will fall in love with then you will join us agnostics, have you tried searching in the internet encyclopedias for TZU FU TZU, HIS RELIGION IS BASED ON THE GOLDEN RULE AND MANY MORE DHARMAS AND PAGANS : )

did you know norse and other earth dwelling pagans are the native westerners?

[BreaksFast]

@ukgreaterlondon Fuck off.

[ukgreaterlondon]

@BreaksFast i have been fucked by the vatican and all the africans blame my nation.

you fuck off?

[BreaksFast]

@ukgreaterlondon lol. Sucks to be you mate. Glad your sad. Fuck off already!

[lolnopound]

HAHAHA!!!!

[GarretsShadow]

Kent and Ray LMAO

[TheAce1263]

Kent and Ray. HMM. Sounds a bit like Kent Hovind and Ray Comfort, COINCIDENCE? I think not.

[DavidTheBawss]

@TheAce1263 Kent Hovind is the dumbest person on earth, Kent and Ray are dumber. You can't explain that.

[BoggiD101]

I love these videos. I refuse to be another frightened sheep.

[Devidedistand]

Omg Stampy, this has to be my favorite so far. Keep it going man.

[MsPaulathomas]

This is hilarious, yeah a bit like Fox.

[Mystro1989]

its funny cause its true. but in this case its sad becuase its true.

[slarti0001]

I think this was just an acted-out transcript of a Fox News report. Although Hannity's voice sounds better distorted like that.

[deathman1021]

@slarti0001 Hannity? i think you mean bill o'reily or glen beck

[mrsvinarich26]

im atheist and proud and this does not at all represent my veiws. im not jealous of any "god" and im not sinful im just showing my veiws i DONT belive in god.

[hck112]

@mrsvinarich26 Yeah, How can we BELIEVE in something that DOESN'T EXIST?

[atchisrj1]

Woho! Self gratification and evil. lol

[SiliconM4trix]

haha, "communist nazi"... yeah, sounds like FOX News pundits.

[theATHEISTmind]

Is this fox news

[ShaggyShagz13]

Thinker "blah blah silly zealots", Faither "quote mine, quote scripture, refute logic", repeat.

[JesseJarrell]

Jesus fuckers..

[TheJimboism]

lol.



[OnTheFritz602]

Was this Fox News?

[dechha1981]

It's amazing how many Theists really think like that. It's absolutely rediculous how far they'll go to make all kinds of assumptions about the way som,eone thinks based on one thing. They'll talk about "The philosophical coonsequences of Atheism" or "Atheism leads to nihilism" or whatever.

Sometimes they complain that 'A lack of belief in a god or gods" doesn't tell them exactly where we stand on everying. EXACTLY YOU IDIOTS!

[Quintinohthree]

@dechha1981

Just like "a belief in some sort of a god" doesn't say a thing either.

[robertgaudlitz]

me subscribed :) me has morals ^^

[susanyana]

this posting is great!

[jankendorf]

4:00, 4:17 xD !!!

I spat my spaghetti all over my computer while watching that part

[burpeejack]

@jankendorf No you fool the FSM frowns upon such waste!

[granadosmikayla]

wow i loved tht video. but sometimes i wish christians would follow their false beliefs and respect everyone for who they are not their belief and talk their bullshit about how "god" will forgive me, my oh my what a worl that would be

[Jacksilver2]

Ray and Kent.. Comfort and Hovind, I presume?

[jerico641]

I wanted to pet a kitten today, but since I didn't have a clue as to biblical right or wrong, I killed it instead...was that wrong?

[granadosmikayla]

@jerico641 that is just freakin hillarious 

[jerico641]

@granadosmikayla

Oh, man, you should hear what happened when I came across a family of bunnies...LOL (without the bible I'm sooooo lost...woe is me!)

[Hierophant2]

Just like Edward Current.

[pattygilmour]

@Hierophant2 Except Edward Current is much funnier than NSC no offense to NSC his video's are great but EC tends to be a much funnier easy going guy.

[Beeza2996]

Brilliant satire, NonStampCollector! You should be working for The Onion!

[UndeadClown95]

panda watch! i fucking love Anchorman

[LegionIscariot]

RAY AND KENT ARE ASSHOLES.

[soph55804]

@LegionIscariot very true. NSC does a good job at satire.

[WhiteDragon103]

How do you coordinate your voice acting so that all the characters you voice talk to one another, interrupt each other, etc.? Is it hard? You do a good job of it. :)

[laflugantabastardo]

@WhiteDragon103

1. Record every line of every character separately.

2. Stick them together in an audio editor and save it as one giant mp3 file.

3. Create video based on the audio track.

:-P

[WhiteDragon103]

@laflugantabastardo I figured that much.

[laflugantabastardo]

@WhiteDragon103

Oh. I guess the answer you're looking for is that he's just a pretty good voice actor then. :-P

[cruelzeppelin666]

You need a TV show! =)

[bzman149]

hahaha i love this video! one of my favorite satires i've seen here on youtube! funny stuff :)

[cake1834]

i like this a lot a lot haha this was actually pretty funny

[etazra78]

Fox News XD

[Icemario87]

Five stars. Two thumbs up. Riveting. Captivating. Perfect. Go see it.

<3

[Nerd042]

'' No, no, of course we'd never say that- on television'' -- most epic momentever!

[dutchbb1979]

It says a lot about religious people, that we atheists have to make these cartoons to explain to them why they are wrong. And yet they still do not seem to get it, another 68 idiots voted a thumbs down.

[GetMeThere1]

I can't stop wondering what people would THINK if they believed this crap and then started watching this (or other NSC) video. Really, the probably just switch it off in a hurry and say to themselves "That's Silly!"

[bushputz]

To all those saying this was like watching Fox "News":

It wasn't even close.

C'mon, folks - this video went on for a FULL 5 MINUTES without anyone saying, "Some people say..."

watch?v=NYA9ufivbDw

[Trbitt213]

this was like watching FOX