How To Get Rid of Door to Door Evangelists!

[jonathonlb]

DO LIKE ME!!!! Tell them that you want nothing to do with this jw fanatical crap and if they or any of their congregation show up again,you'll meet them with a shotgun. I just got so tired of them coming around. They destroy peoples lives with their brainwashing!!!

[BdrLenny]

Go outside and do yardwork around the time think they are coming. Tell them Jesus was a son of a carpenter and a working man and they can preach if they will follow in christ's example and help you. Deny all knowledge of minimum wage.

[Cuthrin]

Another strategy: If you are female, wear revealing clothes and start hitting on them. Ask them if you can have them both the same time.

[SwordSwing3]

Im not a mormon, nor would you think i'm at your door to evangelize with the cover of a carhartt, and ball cap. I'd ask you if your living in reality or a dream world? Some people actually care to wake up to Christ.

Peace and hope be to all of you.

[redrhyn0]

i just come to the door with my gun........they leave......

[chriswebrook]

i made a 12 inch black cross hung it upside down with 666 in red on the 3 lower portions of the cross a big red satanic pentagram over the middle and another satanic symbal on the top in red and they still rang my door bell so i pointed it out and told them to grow a fucking brain,...no I'm not a satanist i am an atheist and thought it would work to get rid of them .i was wrong

[boywithadolphin]

To keep roof and driveway cowboys away fit two door bells. They think its flats!

[TheDavionharvey]

Lmfao i thought there was booger on my screen lol xd

[ElfqueenPixiestick]

I have a different idea concerning the Satanic Bible (but it will work with any religious book that isn't the Holy Bible). Open the door with it behind your back. Wait for them to ask if they can share their religion with you.  At that time, produce the Satanic Bible and say, sure, but then I want to share my religion with you. Finally, giggle as you watch them flee for their very souls... and they will. I've seen it.

[GMSamuelRhine]

haha nice, where i used to live we had a fence around our house so we'd just keep it locked. No one ever did but if they hopped than we just call the cops for trespassing.

[bernaud13121913]

Most of these soul peddlers hate people who are homosexual, so tell them that you are a poof and you want to have it off with them.--THEY WONT COME BACK!

[SamWiseGingy]

This is illegal and could result in serious penalties in a court of law.

[thewizardofawe]

@SamWiseGingy lol which part is illegal?

[SamWiseGingy]

@thewizardofawe It's got something to do with kidnapping. You really can't make a guest stay when they want to leave.

[thewizardofawe]

@SamWiseGingy yeah that's true lol. however i thought you were talking about the the comment below you that said "just answer the door naked." hahahahaha

[hyperchika666]

just answer the door naked.



[solantap]

lol whenever the jehovah's go to my house, my dad freaks out and screams,"HIDE! GET UNDER A TABLE OR SOMETHING!!!"

[chloeduvall]

None of these suggestions would scare me off at your door.

[biggsleezy]

just get yourself a dog and that's it

[soulja4daHOLYOne]

Deuteronomy 18:20-22 is actually referring to those who, in sharing the "gospel", say things that are unBiblical or are of other religions. that verse does not invalidate door-to-door or any kind of sharing the gospel, as long as they are keeping it in Biblical context, and not adding what isn't found in Scripture. that's why it's good to keep a Bible handy with scripture to refer to to keep it within context

[AlienRelics]

Tenets! Tenets!

NOT TENANTS!

[hempheadfor20]

Just say, "Sorry guys, satan beat ya to it. Some of his minions stopped by yesterday and...uh they offered me a pretty good bargain!"

[PAGANGRL69]

Ask them if they want to do some witchcraft...They don't come back knocking that's forsure...They run...It's really funny...btw!666

[PAGANGRL69]

When Religious Peddlers come knocking on my door...I nicely tell them "NO THNX NOT INTERESTED in THE B.S.! If they ask why I don't believe...I say I'am a Witch...I think for myself I'am not influenced by/or through sacreligion of others or societies opinions...I travel My Own Individual Spiritual Journey and I'am Truly Of My Own...Noone is me or I Them...To each is of themselves...My Life's Journey only belongs to me just as their independently belongs to them not everyone else...Thnx~ btw!666

[mrstrings2006]

Just say 'Yes, I am already Mormon, but my neighbor isn't."

[PAGANGRL69]

@mrstrings2006

LMFAO...LOLOLOLLllllllolololll­LLLL

~Now that is funny!

[Phaze252]

"Oh you're trying to convert me to another religion? That's too bad, I just converted to thinking a week ago"

and close the door.

[MinionOfDeth2112]

My dream is to have a door bell that plays a snipet of any song I choose... songs like "Don't Need Religion" by Motorhead and "Real World" by Gamma Ray should take care of anyone I *most likely* won't like. :)

PS- I love when Mormons come to my door. Why? They might be looking to sell a few of their guns and I'm ALWAYS looking to buy. ;D

[mohomadali]

LMAO ROFLMAO!!!! 3:42 !! I WANT ONE OF THOSE SOoOO BADDD!!!

[Neesharani]

Talk to the imaginary elf who sits on your front steps and tell him to stop taking your under pants.

[bigfatbaataed]

I had a room mate who used to invite them in and then lock the deadbolt which required a key open,so, they where trapped until he let them out, he also knew his bible inside out and backwards. Most of these guys are sent out with quoted bits out of context, Mike would get bible out and show them thier errs. He would then go on about how jesus was getting credit for satans miricales etc.

By the time he released them they didn't walk away they ran, even the fat ones.

[scotttebben]

I think it is fine to shoot those stupid death cult christans.

[MellowChaos]

Have Deuteronomy 18:20-22 printed on the outside of your door.

[MellowChaos]

Tell them you'll consider adopting their religion if they will consider adopting yours.

Open the door and say "I'm a Scientologist."

[Zippomatt4]

god to see a kiwi atheist putting up the good fight mate. this list is hilarious XD

[pdblouin33]

I LOLed at number 2

[SheilaCrosby]

"No, I'm a druid, and I'm a very busy druid. Goodbye."

[DigtBrain2]

First thing I allway ask: "can I have a trial month - so you provide me with an - by your definition - inferior wive, and I get to test her a vew month. If she is pleasing I'm in - if not you can have her back and I'm out. Deal?"

Works well if one of those knocking is one of those "made-of-rib" things.

Ok - honestly: The best way to get rid of these pests is to just not open the door.

We used to see a lot of JWs around here - not anymore after standing only bevore closed doors.

[Noxilein2008]

I wanna see a video not this slideshow stuff!

[andreo]

If you have a fenced yard or live in a rural area, a dog works wonders. I suggest a Blue Heeler. They won't out and out attack. But they will nip at them until they get back into the car.

I don't know what it is about that breed, but they seem to know who should be coming to the door (delivery people, mail person, etc.) and who shouldn't (sales people, religious kooks, political door knockers). And they act accordingly.

[KmanMonkeyPig]

Dress up in a gimp suit, take a schoolyard choke on one of them and ask them to come in..

[MrNiceGuy4TW]

The best way of getting rid of Jehovas Witnesses is to say you've already left the church. Then they must shun you.

[davidjradich]

Answer the door with a bottle of whiskey and offer them a drink.

[MrKillinginthename]

I come to the door naked scrubbing my balls with a sponge.

[ringwr4ith]

Simple, you tell them your already a Spiritual Satanist

[tucsondog]

The best way is to speak in the 2nd person. Say we instead of I etc.... If they ask who the other person is, just tell them it's the tortured soul of your dead sibling trapped inside of you. IE, just talk like Gollum/Smeagle....

[BevinKB]

My Pagan answer: put up a pentacle lights display on the front porch. Works well as a beacon for friends too for around Xmas time.

[i5145]

just put a cross in your yard and spray them with holly water and start reading the bible that always works

[tjohn1986]

check out my video man, those mormons are never coming back

[Occupy4now]

In that day of fervent heat you will be judged by your conscience according by the laws of God written on your heart (Romans 2:14-16). Only those redeemed by the blood of Jesus can be saved from everlasting destruction. "And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again...For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." (2 Corinthians 5:15,21)

[preachinshawn]

Honesty is the best policy, so just tell them you do not care where you spend eternity.

[RasPesher]

A tactic of the door knocker is to listen to you speak and then to slowly take over the conversation. Their tactic is based on manners. Because they have listened to you speak they expect that you will then allow them to speak. But remember this is only their tactic. It is easy to beat, just don't let them take control of the conversation. Then by attrician you'll eventually wear them out. I guarantee they wont be back and without the slightest need to be anything but the perfect host.