Asperger's Syndrome and social awkwardness: Separating the m

[Sean021122]

Right I have AS and the background noise is horrible. Also, this guy is incoherent and I can't get what his point is to anything. I also found a good deal of misconceptions he has about what he is supposed to have or to our disabiolities. He seems like he should just turn the camera off (and the noise)...

[mythril4]

@Sean021122

you simply misunderstand what he is trying to say, he is simply explaining how he has difficulty expressing thoughts verbally. Perhaps if he did this in writing the outcome would simply be... different. Making these types of videos can help one to train them selves how to verbally communicate more coherently. The noise is feedback in the sound card through the mic, likely over boosted, oh well... I teach people how to use their gifts just as he as.

[Olivares1207]

I have aspergers and that noise gave me a meltdown :D

[ICEESAreFuckinGood]

your accent is a little weird but its awesome too lol.

[SqueakyIri]

Wow, I really enjoyed this video. It's very enlightening and definitely has given me some clues as to how I can relate, as a neurotypical person, to my Aspie boyfriend. We've been dealing with the social awkwardness thing for a while and could never figure out how to make things more comfortable for everybody. I'd like to pose a question, though. Would someone with AS be better served, when discussing social situations and appropriate responses, by procedural, matter-of-fact explanations?

[xshanghu]

I found this very interesting. I have found the direct method to be very helpful in Real Estate and social relationships. In place of beating around the bush, it is often helpful to talk directly and speak clearly what you want.

[goundreykruse]

This is a great video and very wise - one problem I have encountered is resistance from people without autism to be honest - they seem to find it so hard to tell you to your face what you have done wrong. I have a family member who won't talk to me anymore and I have NO IDEA what I have done to upset her, none at all. Crazy way to go about things.

[alriosjr]

I have a friend like this and you have opened my eyes as to how I can communicate better with him. I had no idea why some of his responses which seemed, matter of fact and cold at times, may have to do with not with not connecting socially. You're quite right that so much is implied with neuro-typicals but the truth is that we don't always get the implications ourselves.

[31correlli]

Great Video

[LaMolinaria]

Absolutely right. In order to fix and understand something, You need to take the time to figure out what went wrong, what needs correction.

The important detail that needs to happen is that you Yourself need to understand what has just occurred, in your own words.In any given situation, even though everyone present may be speaking English, we are still using the language as an approximation to what we are actually thinking and expressing to others.

PATIENCE IS KEY.

[drevc2r]

the noise in this vid is amazingly disturbing! for someone with aspergers it is very disturbing :/

[ediself]

i get good laughs out of my aspergers though...just yesterday a woman talked to me in the doctor's waiting room. i have a child of 8 years old and another of 14 months.so she asked: "isn't it difficult to go back to diapers after so long?" listen to what i answered lol i'm still chuckling....i said: "oh well....huh i guess after a couple of diapers you get the hang of it?" hahhahaah jesus * facepalm * i KNOW what she meant!! didn't occur to me to answer accordingly though....

[Essanach]

@ediself What did she mean?

[ediself]

@Essanach she meant "taking care of a baby"...no relation to diapers. that did me in...

[Essanach]

@ediself I constantly misunderstand what people say and I get really tired of it. I wish they just wouldn't bother speaking to me, or else be much more clear and specific. It still confuses me when people say things like "Would you mind doing X" because I start thinking about if I would mind or not and sometimes I say "Yes" but apparently what they really mean is 'Do this" and they aren't interested if you mind doing it or not..

[ediself]

@Essanach exactly....it can get frustrating, now that im a bit older i know to take a little time to reply (as much as they'll allow ) , because if i start thinking "do i mind?"i also start thinking"is this what they mean?"so i do much less blunders. but it still happens...

[SuLLyZorZ]

@Essanach people without Aspergers experience missing each other communicating due to what you said also. Some people do not express their thoughts clearly, and unless you know them you can sometimes misinterpret what they mean. Many comedys play their humour off people miscommunicating, such as "monty python", or "faulty towers" by john cleese, maybe watching them would be helpful :O

[ozzyosbournefan08]

nobody ever tells me sorry for having the wrong impression of me even if i do tell them

[grvonny]

with asperger do you have an internal push? Meaning you feel you are not good enough to talk to people? Not sure if i have asperger but i am socially awkward. So I tend to stay away from social situations. Or is that just shyness? So confused....

[JerYonsv]

@grvonny I feel very good enough to talk to people. People just confuse me, and they often treat me harsh for saying something wrong. The problem is I have no clue as what I did wrong then they don't explain it to me well. Or the issues with body language, I get told I'm lying when I'm being very straight forward. I get tired of trying to put all this mess of confusion together, so I avoid social situations other than small groups. Animals and machines I understand well, people are an enigma.

[JerYonsv]

@grvonny Another issue in social situations for me come from crowds. When I'm in a crowd the sights, sounds, and smells can be way to much for me overloading my brain. I can't converse due to being unable to pull words out of the static of sounds that get louder. I have a headache from all the perfumes, cologne, body spray, soap, B.O, breath, and foods to add to the sounds. Then all the colors, lights, movement, and other things working on top of those. I avoid, or run from those situations.

[AndrewLLFrazier]

@JerYonsv yeah, when I am in a crowd I get really conscious about how the light is hitting my face, it has to be to my right or in front of me, if it's to my left I have to pivot around, and it can make interacting with people very awkward. I am also hypersensitive to touch, if someone tries to touch me I get really fidgety, even my mom, when she hugs me I kind of try to get away. I just feel really uncomfortable.

[Aurelius27x]

@JerYonsv Exactly how I feel.

[MaryTheresa1986]

This guy is pretty cute.

[semapstone]

You explained that perfectly. Even before knowing I had Asperger Syndrome I told people that they had to tell me exactly what they meant because I couldn't understand implied meaning. I think we aspies have a hard time with implied meaning because we see that there are many different variations to what can be said with words and we become so busy inside ourselves processing those different variables.

[Essanach]

@semapstone YES! Often it's not as simple as "not knowing implied meaning" but can sometimes be because Aspies recognize many MORE possible implied meanings and just don't know which one was intended. I sometimes think it's because we are smart enough to discern many possible options which don't occur to NT's. They call this limited perception of possible meanings "common sense", which IMO, is just a way of glorifying limited perception. Maybe Aspies often have UNcommon sense. :)

[ediself]

@Essanach liking this reply :)

[tommatdan]

hi

any idea where i can find lessons on what is and isnt't scocially acceptable ? thanks

[SepherStar]

But you're still kind of "nerdy" in your mannerisms. I have that problem a lot. I just find it difficult to physically coordinate myself with my thoughts. It's very frustrating because it's more similar to cerebral palsy than my actual personality.

People who get to know me always tell me how wrong their first impression was of me.

[SepherStar]

This is why I like Israelis. If you tell them, "you need to be direct with me," they have no qualms about it. They'll just flat out tell you.

[gregjockca1001]

what a fruitcake.

[themrgrave]

Hey, I just happened to find this video tonight... this was great! People ask "how can people with Asperger's get less socially awkward?" but they never actually find people WITH Asperger's who have DONE IT.

You've given me many things to think about. Thanks!

[treitmaniac]

Yeah, that's my webcam. Sorry.

[catlovers928]

that is true i have aspegers and i do not understand some jokes people make or if they are being sarcastic i do not always understand unless it is very clear.

[cruxbucket]

its inference knowing something that isnt explicitly told. aspies are cool but cant take a joke sometimes. they have a real hard time with sarcasm.