i never read twilight nor am i interested in reading it from what i've been told. i've been told not to waste my life on them. what blew my mind was when twilight fans screamed how anne rice and stephen king are jealous of myers when rice and king commented that myer's books suck and "are a failure of the imagination". what does stephen king and anne rice have to be jealous of? absolutely nothing.
Once one of my moms friend sai do you like twilight and i said no twilight sucks vampires dont sparkle and its full of posers and than she said its a love story sweety and i said no it isnt underworld is a love story and they dont sparkle
The Grammer and Sentancing In This Review Was Clearly Much Better then Any used in the Entire Book of Twighlight, The Review Was Clearly More Entertaining then Any Part Of Twilight, Infact this review is so Good and exact that im Sure Edward would be sparkling with joy if he ever watched it.
Lol! I love this *SO* much! And you for making this. Although I think there's more I would have added regarding the inconsistencies an all that. But it's so nice hearing people point out stuff other than "he's a sparkly vampire!"
This has to be one of the best reviews of Twishit on Youtube. It's funny and cutting at the same time, and only a very talented reviewer can do that. And that talented reviewer, is you. Thank you!!!! =D
This is the BEST review of Twilight I have ever read er..watched! You had me laughing the entire time! Thank you so much for covering all the points of the book that sucked, I agree wholeheartedly with you!
This 100% true I didn't even have to read the book I read the back and saw that it was going to be a SUCKY book so I just sold it to get more money than it's really worth
@AkatsukiCynthia In Walmart when it first came out I looked at the back. I love reading and often look for new books to read, but the synophosis on the back of Twilight let me know immediately that nothing was gonna happen and the plot was gonna have me shaking my head. (I hate romance novels BTW).
Twilight has actually furthered my belief that Idocracy was right and we should all be very affraid for the human race. SMeyer has not only effortlessly destroyed vampire literature but the hope that decent writers will eventually be viewed as highly as they once were. We have no more room for the authors who may not be as famous, but are deffiently note worthy, all of our attention has sadly gone to Twilight.
Kudos on your review. Although the volume was to low on the spoken parts.
Thank you for coming up with actual arguments instead of running around yelling "twilightsux!" it really helps our cause...that being said I could barely hear you. I had to turn my speakers up all the way, which was just lovely when your normal-volume ending music came back on...I nearly pissed my pants.
Notice how the writer of this comment manages to spell the most simple words wrong, yet then spells the bigger words right, i mean twilight was originally just another love story, yet stephanie realised that it was actually a piece of garbage so she added vampires and later werewolves, which made it even worse and pretended like it fixed everything.
u know what? f*ck u all!!! if u dont like twilight or if u do like it no one fricken gives a damn. if u like twilight dont watch the videos that poke fun at it! if u hate twilight and wanna watch the videos making fun of twilight be my guest!! but, seriously, if u dont like twilight PLEASE dont go onto twilight fan sites or tell twilight fans that twilight is stupid! that just ruins it for everyone. if u agree or disagree send me a message back, please and thank you!!!
Dead Poets Society starring Robin Williams is a great movie. It moved me to tears in places and it is very inspirational. Just remember the most important message of the movie is seize the day.
Get FULL LENGTH MOVIES for FRE[e] today: = = = = >> freemoviebonanza . com
Some books strive for that extra level and become genuine crap. As a note, though, "incandescent" actually makes perfect sense as a descriptor, since it means "a hot body glowing white" (which fits perfectly with Edward as "a cool hottie!!!1"); and the "verbose" bit is clearly intended as understatement, the same way "you're not the smartest of people" is code for "moron".
Translators are often very bad and yours is no exception. That Spanish phrases were awfully written. How do I know? Because Spanish is my mother tongue, and a language that you don't have the right to insult when you, obviously, don't know it
But there's a major problem with the video. The spoken portions are WAY too quiet, especially compared with the intro and outro music. I had normal volume for the intro, had to dial it way up to actually listen to the comentary, then rush to turn the volume back town when the end titles hit.
I'm sorry but how does shit like twilight become popular? I've got way more imaginative ideas for books! How did this happen? Did one girl who read it just suddenly group together with others on the internet and hype it up? Seriously, the book is crap, and so is the movie.
In answer to your question MaguireMart,Twishite became popular because there are more retarded, stupid people in this world than you think. 'Nough said.
As for my comment, yea, I'm a girl...who's 13 years old. This video was awesome! Really good points narrowed down into ten minutes. PS: Damn! Why can't I double-subscribe?
IMO, if you replace any instance of "vampire" with "fae" (not the Tinkerbell and fairy godmother type, but the classic scare-the-kids-into-obedience stuff) everything makes so much more sense.
Awe-Some. This is, by far, the best review of Twilight I've seen yet. I dunno if you've already decided to do your series yet, but if you haven't, I strongly sugest you do.
Just as a sidenote, your speaking (Or whatever it's called, I can't think of anything intellegent to say) itself was rather low volume in contrast to the music and the video clip proclaming (I think) "He's DANGEROUS!"
for the ones who read the above message, mrs... XAllenX just wrote in horrible spanish: "I twilight hate a lot . Edward is a big bitch. thanks for your very kind-s- comments. eat shit and -diead- now please.
Im sorry, I don't talk the penis language."
so I believe she, he, it, is just a troll...
and btw, allen, if for some reason, by this... "And people say you don't learn things in school. " you are refering ironically to learn spanish, sorry... but you fail at it.
...how many books have you read besides Twilight, exactly? That book (oh, my mistake, horrendously long FANFIC) was absolutely PAINFUL to read. Personally, I found Clifford to be much more influential than that piece of insufferable crap. Try reading something that's ACTUALLY good and I can guarantee you will see Twilight for the worthless waste of perfectly good paper that it is (Personally, I find it quite insulting that trees had to die for copies of it to be made in the first place).
This is great! I love how you tackled every absurd detail this moron's "work" if it can even be called as such. You also managed to squeeze in some humor and creativity with the pictures and comments XD I also loved how you used your Halo character rather than just recording yourself. Your ranting tone of voice also contributed the video's allure. The only suggestion I could make is if you give more time to read the comments on the pictures. Other than that it was a great video and I enjoyed it
i heavily second and support your opinion :D and yes THANK YOU!! for finally speaking up against this crap that is twilight (more like twifag amirite?) you completely read my mind about my opinion of it, couldn't say it better :) please do go ahead and review the second movie for more of its senselessness
Over 33 billion.... there is only six billion people on the planet :|. i will tell you this, pong has a better story than twilight, and pong has no story at all, also you can call gamers losers as much as you want, yet there is probably more people who have played a video game than read a twilight book.
Thank you so very much for this review. I fully agree on your points and honestly, I have read through to the end of the third one and nearly died in the attempt. The books are horrid and honestly deserve every bit of hate that people give to them. I can't wait for your next review.
Just a suggestion: The intro and ending sound is much louder then the sound in the middle, thats not good to make viewers adjust the sound multiple times for your video.
thats so disgusting how bella is like 16 or whatever and EDWARD IS FREAKIN 172 YEARS OLD WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!vampires do not fall in love with people and have sex with them but they rape them and kill them and also make them there minions what ever happened to the real vampire movies like van helsen or blade that was kick ass because there was killing and action ya thats what we want GOD DAME ACTION
why couldn't edward like kill some one an and then make the victim his minion
If it's not blatantly obvious from my other post, this is probably one of the best Twilight reviews I've read, and I've read a good many Twilight reviews.
I love you. THANK YOU for making this video. I work in a bookstore and it scares me how many people like this book. I can take Tweens coming in for it. I tell myself that they just don't know any better; that they are more than likely following the crowd, will wake up in a few years and learn what real literature is. It's the adult women that come in asking for it that make me sick. I'm a young (24) woman, but I honestly just DO NOT see the attraction. How she ever got published is beyond me.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
I think that Twilight doesn't suck, and people who says it sucks are really retarded people, they say it only cuz others do it, if you kill such idiot, noone even notice it.
Wait...so you're claiming that I have poor reasons for disliking Twilight, after I made a nine minute video explicitly stating what I disliked about it? Are you for real? I dislike Twilight for every reason I posted in the video. Maybe you should actually watch it, you might learn something. While you're at it, learn to increase your repertoire of insults beyond 'retarded' and 'kill yourself'.
Curious as to what response this fellow could muster to such a fantastic review, I decided to check his channel for the promised "last video". Considering his intellectual debate appears to be giving a finger to the camera, then gyrating at the air, I'm not sure he has the intellectual capacity to increase his repertoire of insults beyond 'retarded' on account of being so himself.
Of course, this is a Twilight fanboy, so I was not particularly surprised.
Stop assuming that people are retarded because they think that something sucks and don't have a reason behind it. Obviously every person has a reason for not liking the books.
I hate Twilight because of the fact that it's a pile of rotting garbage that a shit ton of people seem to be in love with. It has no actual plot, no real characters and is a mary sue fanfiction that miraculously got published.
What I like MOST about your video is that not only do you have legitimate reasons for your beliefs but you also explain them very clearly. The pictures and little text is a major plus by the way. Though I agree you might want to raise your voice volume a bit :] 5/5 from me...
Congratulation on having the best review on Twilight.
You should do New Moon, because I actually think that book is the best of them (Because that book had Jacob while he was a decent interesting character, at least compared to other main characters in this series)
I torrented the e-book, figuring that having Microsoft Sam read the book to me would be more tolerable then having to read it.
Even with that I still only got through the first two chapters before closing the program, backing up my files and wiping my hard drive to purge the sin from my computer.
In a way, the romantic outcome is worse than Romeo and Juliet. After a few months of knowing each other, they will end up having to spend eternity with each other. Yeah, didn't think that through too well huh?
@Chitsurine in fact, he's a leech- it explains everything perfectly: Shiny bodies (because of slime), they have venom (to prevent blood from clotting), they actually suck blood (from other animals and humans, if they so wish). And leeches could totally use catapults to fly through the air. xD
What plot? What romance? I believe you mean 'lust'. Everything you said... you took the words right out of my mouth. 5 stars! I REALLY hate the series. And this video narrows everything about it down into nine minutes.
Chuck Norris once read this book, it took the team Mr. T, Jack Bouer, and, Vin Diesel to get him out from under his bed
oh yeah ITS THAT BAD
I read it on a bus to North Carolina (Church trip) and I read it I forgot who gave it to me my first thought did my Language Arts teacher wrote it this there where so many pointless big words in there and I was just waiting and waiting for the plot for a long time (and im a pretty fast reader so it shouldnt take that long) I died a little inside
One day i'm going to have to suck it up and read the whole stupid Saga. Twatlight, Suck moon, Relapse, and Breaking Logic.
Before it got popular I read up till the second chapter before I was bored out of my mind. I had an easier time reading The Great Gatsby or Ferinheight451.
Also, the reason they sparkle, that she actually stated in an interview, is that she had a "dream" about sparkling beings and she thought it was cool.
Also, why her vampire ideas are so off and contradicting is also in an interview she stated that she had NEVER READ or WATCHED a VAMPIRE BOOK/FILM. She watched half of "interview with a Vampire" after Twilight became popular.
"she had NEVER READ or WATCHED a VAMPIRE BOOK/FILM."
You know, that's what I never understood... If she's never read/watched anything about vamps, why call the creatures in her books vampires? It really doesn't make sense.
Love your rant. It was informitave and true while being hilarious at the same! Well done,my man! Also, I like how you used Halo as a "stage". Very creative.
OOH! Plot twist idea. Bella's father finds out and tries to get her away. And succeeds. Making Ed have to actually attempt to prove himself rather than just stand there and look pretty.
Bigger plot twist, her father gets turned into a vampire and she has to kill him. See I'm having ideas pop into my head. I'd bet money that I could take this series, apply the changes and rename the characters; and no one would even know I'd done it.
Dude. You are my new hero. This review put into words what I've been trying to say.
I would also like to point out that this book has no deep level of reason why it's good. Harry Potter has that. Pendragon has that. Even Eragon has that.
When I ask people why they like these books their answer is never: OMG HARRY IS SO HOT!!! OMFG I WANT TO MARRY HIM!!! Granted this isn't the response I get from every Twilight fan but the fact that I get it MOST of the time says a lot.
The book does have symbolism: it's basically about not having sex before marriage, the whole evil temptation and desire that would ruin her, till they're married then he can bite her.
Stefanie Oberhansley wrote "Shadows in the Window" and that! is a great psychological thriller ;) available on Amazon.com!
ChellWhite1 3 weeks ago
is the beginning of this video,screenshots from the 1st metal gear video game?
conspiracyMAN23 3 months ago
thy should give him a free dinner at shenanigans for free advertising!
scoobydoorocks10 5 months ago
i never read twilight nor am i interested in reading it from what i've been told. i've been told not to waste my life on them. what blew my mind was when twilight fans screamed how anne rice and stephen king are jealous of myers when rice and king commented that myer's books suck and "are a failure of the imagination". what does stephen king and anne rice have to be jealous of? absolutely nothing.
art4thecure1 11 months ago
Once one of my moms friend sai do you like twilight and i said no twilight sucks vampires dont sparkle and its full of posers and than she said its a love story sweety and i said no it isnt underworld is a love story and they dont sparkle
crazygirllulu1234 1 year ago
CITY OF BONES IT WAY BETTER BOOK THEN TWILIGHT!! the writer really tells believable story in that book and twilight is just KISSING!!! T.T
AyameKia13 1 year ago
Kill twilight hehe
AyameKia13 1 year ago
These Paper Shredder reviews are so cool! You really need to make more of them.
I still hope that you will.
songofgrayshadows 1 year ago
I love you xD
BringMeTheSunset213 1 year ago
The Grammer and Sentancing In This Review Was Clearly Much Better then Any used in the Entire Book of Twighlight, The Review Was Clearly More Entertaining then Any Part Of Twilight, Infact this review is so Good and exact that im Sure Edward would be sparkling with joy if he ever watched it.
CptBigCrack 1 year ago 2
Lol! I love this *SO* much! And you for making this. Although I think there's more I would have added regarding the inconsistencies an all that. But it's so nice hearing people point out stuff other than "he's a sparkly vampire!"
un0r1g1nal 1 year ago
17 people missed the like button.....
This has to be one of the best reviews of Twishit on Youtube. It's funny and cutting at the same time, and only a very talented reviewer can do that. And that talented reviewer, is you. Thank you!!!! =D
darrelsam419 1 year ago
No no no no HELL no
XD 4:00
Werebereus 1 year ago
This is the BEST review of Twilight I have ever read er..watched! You had me laughing the entire time! Thank you so much for covering all the points of the book that sucked, I agree wholeheartedly with you!
littlechicka 1 year ago
This 100% true I didn't even have to read the book I read the back and saw that it was going to be a SUCKY book so I just sold it to get more money than it's really worth
AkatsukiCynthia 1 year ago 2
@AkatsukiCynthia In Walmart when it first came out I looked at the back. I love reading and often look for new books to read, but the synophosis on the back of Twilight let me know immediately that nothing was gonna happen and the plot was gonna have me shaking my head. (I hate romance novels BTW).
Pooky1991 1 year ago
Hahaha I am sooo glad I found this!!
AnimeFreak654321 1 year ago
Twilight was a major headache.
kiragirl20 1 year ago
i have a feeling that you're a 4channer.
amirite?
idiotscampaigninc 1 year ago
Dude this is great. This is kind of like zero punctuation for books.
sunset261 1 year ago
wow....youre good
an0n1mous324 1 year ago
Twilight has actually furthered my belief that Idocracy was right and we should all be very affraid for the human race. SMeyer has not only effortlessly destroyed vampire literature but the hope that decent writers will eventually be viewed as highly as they once were. We have no more room for the authors who may not be as famous, but are deffiently note worthy, all of our attention has sadly gone to Twilight.
Kudos on your review. Although the volume was to low on the spoken parts.
Fantabulism 1 year ago 5
Wo-hoo! Awesome video! You are my idol :)
ambereyes93 1 year ago
The Twilight Saga was hearty ! I found it as a freebie at ** twilight-now . com **
Estefanaoqf74 1 year ago
Thank you for coming up with actual arguments instead of running around yelling "twilightsux!" it really helps our cause...that being said I could barely hear you. I had to turn my speakers up all the way, which was just lovely when your normal-volume ending music came back on...I nearly pissed my pants.
7Deviants 1 year ago
Amen to that.
time0space0witch 1 year ago
Lemon wedges, LOL
SithArmyKnife 1 year ago
You, sir, are my newest hero.
RaventailBlacktalon 1 year ago
Twilight is perfectly summed up in two words: HURP DURP.
TomMSTie 1 year ago 5
If I ever found myself in Room 101, I'd see a copy of Twilight on the table.
ButtersStotch7000 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Twilight Eclipse is so great I just saw it at TwilightEclipseWatch[dot]tk Its so great
Jackbookowski89 1 year ago
Notice how the writer of this comment manages to spell the most simple words wrong, yet then spells the bigger words right, i mean twilight was originally just another love story, yet stephanie realised that it was actually a piece of garbage so she added vampires and later werewolves, which made it even worse and pretended like it fixed everything.
TheAnonftw 2 years ago
Dag yo. In a good way.
sqeakii00 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
u know what? f*ck u all!!! if u dont like twilight or if u do like it no one fricken gives a damn. if u like twilight dont watch the videos that poke fun at it! if u hate twilight and wanna watch the videos making fun of twilight be my guest!! but, seriously, if u dont like twilight PLEASE dont go onto twilight fan sites or tell twilight fans that twilight is stupid! that just ruins it for everyone. if u agree or disagree send me a message back, please and thank you!!!
twilightedward09 2 years ago
@twilightedward09 way to be a hypocrite, i don't care what you do but don't do this or this. fucking fail
bokprop420 1 year ago
bram stoker must turn himself in his grave
SHAME ON YOU TWILIGHT
deathstardummies 2 years ago 3
This is the most educated (and funny. let's not forget funny.) Twilight bashing on youtube. 5 Mother fucking stars, dude.
PsychoticPeace 2 years ago 36
Comment removed
PsychoticPeace 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Dead Poets Society starring Robin Williams is a great movie. It moved me to tears in places and it is very inspirational. Just remember the most important message of the movie is seize the day.
Get FULL LENGTH MOVIES for FRE[e] today: = = = = >> freemoviebonanza . com
pleilsharynsanko 2 years ago
7:15 She's firing her lazar, very good review 5/5
Andrew666blasterman 2 years ago
The 9 minutes and 29 seconds it took me to watch this totally made my day. 8D
RedbirdSims 2 years ago 3
Some books strive for that extra level and become genuine crap. As a note, though, "incandescent" actually makes perfect sense as a descriptor, since it means "a hot body glowing white" (which fits perfectly with Edward as "a cool hottie!!!1"); and the "verbose" bit is clearly intended as understatement, the same way "you're not the smartest of people" is code for "moron".
QuasiGood 2 years ago 3
thumbs up X 9001
Stitchpuppy01 2 years ago
I saw the movie back in my high school, and the only thing that I actually remembered was the hottie who played Edward's sister, Alice.
FirstTsurugi06 2 years ago
awesome!!!
Ryuuzakihideki 2 years ago
Translators are often very bad and yours is no exception. That Spanish phrases were awfully written. How do I know? Because Spanish is my mother tongue, and a language that you don't have the right to insult when you, obviously, don't know it
Alexotakugirl 2 years ago
The sound is too low.
KuramachanBR 2 years ago
I luv this review!
Twilight sucks!
Down with gay fairies!
I mean vampires!
wait, in twililight, its the SAME THING!
LittleMissKillJoy95 2 years ago 3
tru that.
soulreaperyoh 2 years ago
Good review.
But there's a major problem with the video. The spoken portions are WAY too quiet, especially compared with the intro and outro music. I had normal volume for the intro, had to dial it way up to actually listen to the comentary, then rush to turn the volume back town when the end titles hit.
AnonymousDiv0 2 years ago 35
Preach.
Kage261 2 years ago
HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS THE LOGICAL TRUTH.
I picked up that book on the recommendation of a friend and I'm still blasting her for it.
BEST REVIEW EVER. Have you gotten a medal yet? Seriously, you deserve one.
EmpressRan 2 years ago 7
Truly an excellent vid.
novideos09 2 years ago
You sir are truly the king, of kings.
Best. Review. Ever.
DipCheese94 2 years ago
I'm sorry but how does shit like twilight become popular? I've got way more imaginative ideas for books! How did this happen? Did one girl who read it just suddenly group together with others on the internet and hype it up? Seriously, the book is crap, and so is the movie.
MaguireMart 2 years ago 2
In answer to your question MaguireMart,Twishite became popular because there are more retarded, stupid people in this world than you think. 'Nough said.
As for my comment, yea, I'm a girl...who's 13 years old. This video was awesome! Really good points narrowed down into ten minutes. PS: Damn! Why can't I double-subscribe?
TheCullenSlayer 2 years ago 5
And here is the second part of Twilight we hate, the fandom.
Blacksun388 2 years ago
IMO, if you replace any instance of "vampire" with "fae" (not the Tinkerbell and fairy godmother type, but the classic scare-the-kids-into-obedience stuff) everything makes so much more sense.
jalmcbj 2 years ago
Awe-Some. This is, by far, the best review of Twilight I've seen yet. I dunno if you've already decided to do your series yet, but if you haven't, I strongly sugest you do.
Just as a sidenote, your speaking (Or whatever it's called, I can't think of anything intellegent to say) itself was rather low volume in contrast to the music and the video clip proclaming (I think) "He's DANGEROUS!"
Candysox5560 2 years ago
This is the best review of it sinces the invention of slice bread. You sir, deserve a fucking metal.
MochaMused 2 years ago
Thank you, oh thank you! I'm reading the books myself right now.. But mostly so I can abuse myself everytime someone hot enters the story.
kidstable 2 years ago
If the cake wasnt a lie i'd give it to you.
FallenPhoenix72 2 years ago 6
CrownedDaemon... Have my babies you made a 10 minute review saying all the truth.
masterfox3000 2 years ago 2
for the ones who read the above message, mrs... XAllenX just wrote in horrible spanish: "I twilight hate a lot . Edward is a big bitch. thanks for your very kind-s- comments. eat shit and -diead- now please.
Im sorry, I don't talk the penis language."
so I believe she, he, it, is just a troll...
and btw, allen, if for some reason, by this... "And people say you don't learn things in school. " you are refering ironically to learn spanish, sorry... but you fail at it.
CyonLaelaps 2 years ago
...how many books have you read besides Twilight, exactly? That book (oh, my mistake, horrendously long FANFIC) was absolutely PAINFUL to read. Personally, I found Clifford to be much more influential than that piece of insufferable crap. Try reading something that's ACTUALLY good and I can guarantee you will see Twilight for the worthless waste of perfectly good paper that it is (Personally, I find it quite insulting that trees had to die for copies of it to be made in the first place).
karifire 2 years ago 3
Hey man, Don't be comparing Clifford the Big Red Dog to Twilight, I grew up on that shit.
Rhotuka12 2 years ago
This is great! I love how you tackled every absurd detail this moron's "work" if it can even be called as such. You also managed to squeeze in some humor and creativity with the pictures and comments XD I also loved how you used your Halo character rather than just recording yourself. Your ranting tone of voice also contributed the video's allure. The only suggestion I could make is if you give more time to read the comments on the pictures. Other than that it was a great video and I enjoyed it
Caboose750 2 years ago
KrisAllen, please. Go. Die. Twilight was a piece of literature in the sense that an ice-cold cup of piss is lemonade.
notsowhole 2 years ago 3
Go listen to your silly American Idol winner who makes "JIZZ IN MY PANTS" expressions.
Gloucesterknight10 2 years ago
Oh Kate you silly sow!
CrownedDaemon 2 years ago
so very funny it was worth watching
catieo321 2 years ago
You are the reason why youtube is awesome and should have more people like you on the Internet.
Thanks for telling how it is and for giving us an awesome video. :D
You fucking rock! <3
TehShanno 2 years ago 3
i heavily second and support your opinion :D and yes THANK YOU!! for finally speaking up against this crap that is twilight (more like twifag amirite?) you completely read my mind about my opinion of it, couldn't say it better :) please do go ahead and review the second movie for more of its senselessness
Megashadow13 2 years ago
Too quiet dude, I actually can't hear you
LeonSKennedy828 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
haha what a waste of time . yourr suchh a loser .
youu got whattt 33 thousand views ? haha when
twilight saga has over 33 billion fans . haha
yourr not even good enough to be the shitt
underneath twilight fans shoes . haha loser .
ohhh your a gamer . . that explains it . !
hopey50 2 years ago
@hopey50 OMG, WE HAVE MORE FANZ AND DAT MEANS QUALITY111!
Seriously, do you have any idea how fucking stupid you are? Popularity does not equal quality
and most games have better storylines than Twatlight
LeonSKennedy828 2 years ago 4
33 billion fans <- *sigh*
This is representative of the overall twi-fag intelligence.
(God I hope you're a troll)
hydra100100 2 years ago 4
Fail troll.
TehShanno 2 years ago
Comment removed
catieo321 2 years ago
Twilight is the McDonalds of the literature world. Just because it is popular, doesn't mean it is good.
ZekeTheTrickster 2 years ago 6
McDonalds is fucking good! (just not for your health)
atreyu25 2 years ago 5
@Hopey50
You fail due to your excessive amount of stupidity.
PhDAnnoyance 2 years ago
Over 33 billion.... there is only six billion people on the planet :|. i will tell you this, pong has a better story than twilight, and pong has no story at all, also you can call gamers losers as much as you want, yet there is probably more people who have played a video game than read a twilight book.
TheAnonftw 2 years ago 5
Thank you so very much for this review. I fully agree on your points and honestly, I have read through to the end of the third one and nearly died in the attempt. The books are horrid and honestly deserve every bit of hate that people give to them. I can't wait for your next review.
FaolanBraeden493 2 years ago 3
Two thumbs way up! Keep these reviews rolling!
angerywaffle 2 years ago
Speak louder!
Mundilfari 2 years ago
Ah, this is amazing.
Will you marry me? =D hahaha.
StopThinkFeel 2 years ago
Great video. =) I can't wait to see more from you.
lehua321 2 years ago
Just a suggestion: The intro and ending sound is much louder then the sound in the middle, thats not good to make viewers adjust the sound multiple times for your video.
cjet79 2 years ago
awesome review ^^
amysagoddess 2 years ago
thats so disgusting how bella is like 16 or whatever and EDWARD IS FREAKIN 172 YEARS OLD WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!vampires do not fall in love with people and have sex with them but they rape them and kill them and also make them there minions what ever happened to the real vampire movies like van helsen or blade that was kick ass because there was killing and action ya thats what we want GOD DAME ACTION
why couldn't edward like kill some one an and then make the victim his minion
heroshotgun 2 years ago
lol
ThePenguin1777 2 years ago
ZOMG Jesus Christ Superstar.
Epic.
calapanpo 2 years ago
If it's not blatantly obvious from my other post, this is probably one of the best Twilight reviews I've read, and I've read a good many Twilight reviews.
EchoOfAges 2 years ago
THANK YOU I'm off to show this to all my stupid Twi-tard friends xD
AngelCakeEnterprises 2 years ago
I love you. THANK YOU for making this video. I work in a bookstore and it scares me how many people like this book. I can take Tweens coming in for it. I tell myself that they just don't know any better; that they are more than likely following the crowd, will wake up in a few years and learn what real literature is. It's the adult women that come in asking for it that make me sick. I'm a young (24) woman, but I honestly just DO NOT see the attraction. How she ever got published is beyond me.
MelPo85 2 years ago
@MelPo85
Stephanie Meyer probably had a blind editor 0.o ...If she actually had one at all.
DaCapoFan 1 year ago
@DaCapoFan I say the editors really didn't give a fuck. After the umpteenth error in the first paragraph, just gave up.
SpraxIAKS 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I think that Twilight doesn't suck, and people who says it sucks are really retarded people, they say it only cuz others do it, if you kill such idiot, noone even notice it.
Check my last video about this topic!
verycrazyghoul 2 years ago
Wait...so you're claiming that I have poor reasons for disliking Twilight, after I made a nine minute video explicitly stating what I disliked about it? Are you for real? I dislike Twilight for every reason I posted in the video. Maybe you should actually watch it, you might learn something. While you're at it, learn to increase your repertoire of insults beyond 'retarded' and 'kill yourself'.
CrownedDaemon 2 years ago 2
Curious as to what response this fellow could muster to such a fantastic review, I decided to check his channel for the promised "last video". Considering his intellectual debate appears to be giving a finger to the camera, then gyrating at the air, I'm not sure he has the intellectual capacity to increase his repertoire of insults beyond 'retarded' on account of being so himself.
Of course, this is a Twilight fanboy, so I was not particularly surprised.
EchoOfAges 2 years ago
FanBOY?
*Quickly watches video in question*
...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
OH WOW.
CrownedDaemon 2 years ago
Indeed.
EchoOfAges 2 years ago
pffft. you seem SO intelligent yourself, what with your gooder grammars. lol
lehua321 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
go eat few hamburgers, relax, american trash
verycrazyghoul 2 years ago
A Twitard calling others trash when they read a book with no plot, characterisation or anything decent?
LeonSKennedy828 2 years ago
Stop assuming that people are retarded because they think that something sucks and don't have a reason behind it. Obviously every person has a reason for not liking the books.
I hate Twilight because of the fact that it's a pile of rotting garbage that a shit ton of people seem to be in love with. It has no actual plot, no real characters and is a mary sue fanfiction that miraculously got published.
TehShanno 2 years ago 8
@VCG
Did you get dropped on the head as a young one?
PhDAnnoyance 2 years ago
What I like MOST about your video is that not only do you have legitimate reasons for your beliefs but you also explain them very clearly. The pictures and little text is a major plus by the way. Though I agree you might want to raise your voice volume a bit :] 5/5 from me...
heavenshikari999 2 years ago 3
THIS IS AMAZING. you should TOTALLY review the whole series. for the lulz.
4EyedBlonde 2 years ago
i agree with you i think it is crap
crazyfro11 2 years ago
Congratulation on having the best review on Twilight.
You should do New Moon, because I actually think that book is the best of them (Because that book had Jacob while he was a decent interesting character, at least compared to other main characters in this series)
Mrhaux 2 years ago
I torrented the e-book, figuring that having Microsoft Sam read the book to me would be more tolerable then having to read it.
Even with that I still only got through the first two chapters before closing the program, backing up my files and wiping my hard drive to purge the sin from my computer.
CrownedDaemon 2 years ago
That was beautiful.
Shloopp 2 years ago 2
That's a much better alternative to seeing the movies. I'm sure Microsoft Sam can deliver much more emotion to the dialogue than Kristen Stewart.
Assuming Microsoft Sam can stomach hundreds of pages worth of it.
FirstTsurugi06 2 years ago
Raise your fucking volume when you are talking. The song in the intro was about 10x louder.
fettel1988 2 years ago
I agree that he should raise the volume, but don't you think you could have said that without giving off that attitude?
heavenshikari999 2 years ago
Finally someone o thinks alike. I was starting to believe I was alone in the world.
mflowerdaisy 2 years ago
Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe ftw!!!
xJustLuvlyx 2 years ago
I like you
JulianaEry 2 years ago
1. Fuck The Sea Kittens.
2. You deserve 1337 internets.
3. Have a cookie.
Mattie2013 2 years ago 8
CrownedDaemon, I don't know who you are, but I think you're the tightest mother fucker I know of.
fwirl102 2 years ago 7
@fwirl102 i 100% fckn agree
a rant with facts!
TheAkiiki 2 years ago
In a way, the romantic outcome is worse than Romeo and Juliet. After a few months of knowing each other, they will end up having to spend eternity with each other. Yeah, didn't think that through too well huh?
PSshadow92 2 years ago 4
bravo
bloobymoocakes 2 years ago
Hilarious. Great review.
Xrogue9X 2 years ago
Edward Cullen is not a vampire; because HE'S A FUCKING BLOOD SUCKING PIXIE
Chitsurine 2 years ago 2
The fucker doesn't even drink human blood.
Mattie2013 2 years ago 3
Exactly! He's a pussy.
Chitsurine 2 years ago 4
@Chitsurine in fact, he's a leech- it explains everything perfectly: Shiny bodies (because of slime), they have venom (to prevent blood from clotting), they actually suck blood (from other animals and humans, if they so wish). And leeches could totally use catapults to fly through the air. xD
Yusio 2 years ago
Bitch killed Bambi's mom.
CrownedDaemon 2 years ago
What plot? What romance? I believe you mean 'lust'. Everything you said... you took the words right out of my mouth. 5 stars! I REALLY hate the series. And this video narrows everything about it down into nine minutes.
Sapphire101MFS 2 years ago
I thought this is a video involved the Twilight books..and a paper shredder..
Shadomancer 2 years ago 2
In a way it is, but it's more in a metaphorical way then anything else.
CrownedDaemon 2 years ago
Anyway, the books sucks..
Shadomancer 2 years ago
Hate stephanie Meyer
Hate the books
Hate the acclaim
but most of all hate the ignorant fan girls.
In the year 2010, stupid teen mothers will name their chilren Bella or Edward after that shitty book Twilight
darthneji1992 2 years ago 4
You forgot one thing: Edward's a pedo.
JasterRouge 2 years ago
absolutely brilliant. you get a gold star :o
benkai343434 2 years ago
When I gave twilight a try, I felt like I was reading a fanfic too! Could not agree with this video anymore.
ToraAlbatou 2 years ago
Someone needs to do a word count on the word "glowering" in twilight. I swear it was in the book at least 7 times.
dillon133 2 years ago
3:06 Kyon knows that Twilight sucks too XD
whitewolfalicara 2 years ago 4
Comment removed
ZoeBubuRoccoJoe 2 years ago
What's sad is, this book is only SLIGHTLY better from Ed's point of view.
PSshadow92 2 years ago
Alucard FTW!!!
Al would probably just eat Ed at first glance.
PSshadow92 2 years ago 3
Alucard would dark metamorphosis into pedocullen's kidneys and destroy it completely.
shinobikurisu 2 years ago
Chuck Norris once read this book, it took the team Mr. T, Jack Bouer, and, Vin Diesel to get him out from under his bed
oh yeah ITS THAT BAD
I read it on a bus to North Carolina (Church trip) and I read it I forgot who gave it to me my first thought did my Language Arts teacher wrote it this there where so many pointless big words in there and I was just waiting and waiting for the plot for a long time (and im a pretty fast reader so it shouldnt take that long) I died a little inside
DJsam27 2 years ago
I agree with everything you said but I do like the books.The books are REALLY unoriginal!
AliceColeTV 2 years ago
Well said!
KaitoKIDOtaku 2 years ago
That is exactly what I said
ds16653 2 years ago
One day i'm going to have to suck it up and read the whole stupid Saga. Twatlight, Suck moon, Relapse, and Breaking Logic.
Before it got popular I read up till the second chapter before I was bored out of my mind. I had an easier time reading The Great Gatsby or Ferinheight451.
PlatinumIvory 2 years ago 2
I wish you luck on that; I could barely get past the first book (ok, so I admit... I may have skipped a few pages here and there). XDD
JohnElwayFan2 2 years ago
I can't even get past the title page!
Shadomancer 2 years ago
3:33 lol kitty
thebruteslayer 2 years ago
Oedipus style, ftw. <3
Also, the reason they sparkle, that she actually stated in an interview, is that she had a "dream" about sparkling beings and she thought it was cool.
Also, why her vampire ideas are so off and contradicting is also in an interview she stated that she had NEVER READ or WATCHED a VAMPIRE BOOK/FILM. She watched half of "interview with a Vampire" after Twilight became popular.
KommunistBunni 2 years ago
"she had NEVER READ or WATCHED a VAMPIRE BOOK/FILM."
You know, that's what I never understood... If she's never read/watched anything about vamps, why call the creatures in her books vampires? It really doesn't make sense.
JohnElwayFan2 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
The bitch has no imagination
hydra100100 2 years ago
Love your rant. It was informitave and true while being hilarious at the same! Well done,my man! Also, I like how you used Halo as a "stage". Very creative.
bobthestickman02 2 years ago
I love Twilight but seriously this was Hilarius!! So funny!
TheKarlaLopez2 2 years ago
OOH! Plot twist idea. Bella's father finds out and tries to get her away. And succeeds. Making Ed have to actually attempt to prove himself rather than just stand there and look pretty.
Bigger plot twist, her father gets turned into a vampire and she has to kill him. See I'm having ideas pop into my head. I'd bet money that I could take this series, apply the changes and rename the characters; and no one would even know I'd done it.
PSshadow92 2 years ago
Dude. You are my new hero. This review put into words what I've been trying to say.
I would also like to point out that this book has no deep level of reason why it's good. Harry Potter has that. Pendragon has that. Even Eragon has that.
When I ask people why they like these books their answer is never: OMG HARRY IS SO HOT!!! OMFG I WANT TO MARRY HIM!!! Granted this isn't the response I get from every Twilight fan but the fact that I get it MOST of the time says a lot.
PSshadow92 2 years ago 2
What about the land sharks? Do we need to save them, too?
SagashiIndustries 2 years ago
YESYESYES!
I could cry from the sheer win and truth coming from your mouth. 1,000 internets to you my good sir. :)
Beme12 2 years ago
That was incredible! Really. That was pretty damn awesome.
AmaranthineRequiem 2 years ago
I. Love. You.
Really. I love you now for making this XD
sangheilisniper 2 years ago
what was 7:44 from?
reviewman 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
The book does have symbolism: it's basically about not having sex before marriage, the whole evil temptation and desire that would ruin her, till they're married then he can bite her.
MikeEPT72 2 years ago
That's a theme, not symbolism, and in either case it was poorly explored.
CrownedDaemon 2 years ago
Bless you, sir, bless you!
I hated Twilight too. It was so bad it made me cringe.
Flanclanman 2 years ago
Win. Just win. Lots of win. Lots and lots of win. Thank you sir.
Maqqa27 2 years ago
Edward is basically a better looking version of Count Duckula (an old British TV show featuring a veggie vampire).
DarthCipient 2 years ago