Why Children as Adults End Up totally Disliking their Parents

[miegapele]

Hi! Is there more? on the same subject. the other part of the interview or smth?

Thanks. Great support and common sense.

[IngridBloemheuvel]

@miegapele On my channel there are 2 video's from the series The sins of the Mothers. I have to look up where the other parts are - but you can start with part 1 & 2

[IngridBloemheuvel]

@miegapelel Part 3 and other related video's are on my blog: innosentence.blogspot.com/2011­/07/practical-common-sense-for­-parents.html

[princessmilagro]

I'm not saying I was perfect. But all of these people who have kids that have gone astray are not necessarily the culprit. If being a room mother to 3 rooms EVERY year, going on EVERY field trip, bringing 90 cupcakes & treats to every birthday & holiday, attending every program, being lunch & recess aide to be near them, taking them to church, & some years putting them in private school, & living, breathing, & making every decision based on them is a bad mother...then I AM ONE!

[princessmilagro]

I'm not saying I was perfect. But all of these people who have kids that have gone astray are not necessarily the culprit. If being a room mother to 3 rooms EVERY year, going on EVERY field trip, bringing 90 cupcakes & treats to every birthday & holiday, attending every program, being lunch & recess aide to be near them, taking them to church, & some years putting them in private school, & living, breathing, & making every decision based on them is a bad mother...then I AM ONE!

[princessmilagro]

So many times I hear people spewing subjective poison as a reason to pick apart their parents. I've been the object of abuse, there is nothing subjective about it! There is nothing subjective about the abuse wheel, either. You can look it up on the Internet. I LOVED my children, for whatever reason, MORE than I love my next breath! I did my VERY BEST with the tools & the life I was given. How is that wrong? How did my kids end up on drugs, alcohol, & specifically METH?!

[princessmilagro]

Now tell me, why do I have three adult children in their 30's, who hate me, after I was a wonderful, very involved, very interactive mother??? Who NEVER abused her children! Who LIVED for her children! To have them all turn to drugs, including meth-amphetamines??? I see more loyalty and love toward the parents that abused their children mercilessly, than in families like mine, where I worshiped them. I wish I had answers.

[SpamAnn]

@princessmilagro did you ever ask them? I would ask them, without emotions in my tone I would simply ask them what the reason was. Your vision is biased if you think abused children show real loyalty and love. You have to track back your behavior, because being overprotective can be abusive as well. You have to be able to let your children do and leanr on their own as well and not control every aspect of their experience. Maybe you can write about this on the forum in more detail?

[princessmilagro]

@SpamAnn Yeah, I have asked them. They spew so much subjective bs out of their mouth, they can't give me a straight answer...nothing solid. I know I started to lose them when they started taking drugs. It just started with pot, then alcohol...totaling our only car with a semi on the highway, then onto bigger & better drugs like METH! Now, they are not the same people I raised & tell everyone what a horrible mother I was...and even LIE to ME ABOUT ME! Not everyone has a good reason!

[adriandrum]

@princessmilagro i can share my perspective, being a son whose mother was like you. I resented what my mothers love for me was based on - that it was a kind of love that is conditional and exclusive to our relationship as mother-son - it was not based in equality - 2 beings living as equals. it was like her loving me was less about me and more about her being a mother and fitting an ideal by playing the role of a mother and trying to have a perfect, ideal family

[adriandrum]

@princessmilagro i also found that my mothers desire to be the perfect mother and worship her children was more based in her own wants, desires, insecurities and fears - the things she wanted and desired, and feared to lose and not have - it was never actually about me and the family, it was about what role we played in her life and the purpose we served

[souljagirlhotstuff]

how can u end up not treating ur children the same way?



[GianRobberts01]

@souljagirlhotstuff to start with, we have to change who we are as beings, we have to change ourselves to that which is best for all, to make the whole process easier and actually supportive for all equally we must change the current money system in this world to an equal money system, and then everything will change. all feras and survival will be taken away and we can focus on ourselves and change, but still we who can hear this must already stand up and change for that which is best for all.

[smellygirlypoo]

too right

[HESEPHOLIS1]

but we are the media.

blame game very fascinating.

[GianRobberts01]

it simply is not blame, it is something to conciser.

as everyone has these experiences with in themselves and can simply not explain why they are so emotional, full of anger or sadness or any emotion that is just with in them, remember the same happens to everyone, the parents once were children and now they are parents and so the circle never ends, till one says stop till here no further and not allow yourself to be consumed by emotion, this is simply showing people how it is done. to stop

[abysss24]

The main problem why we have rebelious kids IMO is :

The media is happy brainwashing families since the 50's.. through the mainstream media, or to alternative media, that if first unacceptable, ... then it becomes acceptable, and later it becomes even mainstream, if all goes according their plan ...

It's relatively easy to spin a young mind...

and those young minds became the very foundation for the future, we're living in NOW...

[GianRobberts01]

obviously stop. by applying yourself through self forgiveness and living it.

[fenomen01]

so what we gonna do about it.

[SpamAnn]

my dad dislikes his parents, he never goes to them except on holidays such as family christmas party. He always got blamed when he was younger because his sister always got away with everything. And then my dad got beaten , also with a leather belt and stuff.

[psidrum]

parents suppressed their kids, and they project their own shit to their kids, instead of becoming one with them and letting them self express themselves as who they are, when a kid is suppressed they start to become angry at parents