Well funny one in 2008. After all the grace US ppl are now suffering an unemployment turmoil...so they no longer got time to insult the diligent Chinese here? Guess the Creator knows who are eviler to be sent off the planet...
"In order to fix any technical problems, that may arise while on orbit, Zhang Tong has been provided with a hammer and two nails." - hilarious
"The space program was initially designed to rid the nation of dissidents, but the program was reimagined as a scientific endeavour when it was discovered that beating people to death is far more cost effective." - hilarious^2
@firestorm1174 That's really not a fair comparison. You compare the Chinese to the American assholes. To be proper shouldn't it be Chinese assholes versus American assholes?
I don't get it in videos where there is lots of racism against Africans all the comments are: " Thats SO Racist"
But when it somes to Asians, Chinese people to be exact, this is what I find in about 90% of the comments: " LOL", " Best of Youtube", " The Chinese have no rights." etc. I bet that 9 out of 10 people who wrote those comments haven't even been to China or even remotely understand the law. And do ya know why they haven't been to China? Cause some reason they already have an opinion!
@FSXBoeing1 I've been, and yeah sorry, but they do have minimal human rights. One hospital on the coast recently had organ transplants increase by 10500% when more then 20000 protesters were taken alive in the same city.
WTF!! Your western media are mis-translating Chinese interviews on purpose (1:25) (1:35) ! Can anybody else here hear Chinese? !
though I know CNN always make stories but I didn't realized it makes stories in such a stupid way! Maybe they are just saying sth your American want to hear.
If you can speak Chinese, you will know what a stupid translation it is. For example, I feel so happy can be translated to be that some soldiers will burn my house. It's just so funny.
I love all these deep, meaningful conversations and arguments among ignorant youtubers. Can't you people just get along...But the ironic thing in my saying is that I could start an argument right now...
Funny to see americans giggling away at china as china gradually moves into pole position in the world as america slips on the way to becoming bankrupt. Have this racist fun while you can...
@retrothix China is in no position for lasting prosperity or power. Their policies and methods will only benefit them in the short term. Soon the true nature of the one child policy and their ridiculous pollution will tear the country apart.
@Roflcopter4b they might not be in a long lasting position but they certainly hold the US's economy by the balls,without their 1 child policy China would soon be unable to support every single person with food or water,and how do you think they have ridiculous pollution when they have 4 times as many people as the US? just accept the fact China is one day going to overtake you and you'll be crying like little baby's wanting to be no.1 again so enjoy you're time at the top.
@pzdontsaystupidreply They certainly do hold the US by the balls at the moment. But as I sad the US is in no position to ever pay them back. China will fall apart in time because of social strife, uncollectable debts, and the fact that byfar the majority of their children are male because of their retarded ass one child thing. Their pollution is far far worse than the US even if the populations were the same. As for your personal attack at the end I fail to see your point as I am not American.
Apolo rocket bombed on ground with 3US assnuts burn alive and become thanks giving style turkey meat. 2 US space shuttles space fireworks with 28US ass-nuts dead in free style sky jump with no paras. USA! !USA!! ~~~we americans are Homer simpsons!!! we americans are stupid retards don't have shame. even we had this kind of failures, and yet still we have good self-image. Oh, yeath, thanks to our mad cow disease contaminated nerves.
@PancakeRecipes I think you missed the point. It's got nothing to do with race, and everything to do with the human rights violations that are constantly going on in China. If Zimbabwe had a space program then they would have been a perfectly legitimate substitute.
No I know the video itself is about that, I just meant the comments on YouTube would all be about racism if this was about black people instead of Asians.
What people don't realize when they make fun of the Chinese government is that if China had gone the way of Gorbachev (democracy first-economic development later), there would still be rampant starvation in China due to hampered infrastructure and business development. Face it, the "bad, bad totalitarian government" is doing a lot better than the US government in providing financial opportunities for its people.
@berkshireee you're misled. What are you a chinese spy being paid to put this garble up here? The hampering of the infrastructure and business development has almost certainly been caused by the government. Its basic economics, the more a government intervenes, the more ineficiencies are caused in they system. The only place for economic intervention for a goverment is to act as a stabalizer, easing transitions or to adjust taxes in such a way to convert hidden costs into real costs.
@Yagmilner Yeah, let me know when the US government even begins to do anything to "stabilize" and "ease transitions". Our government never stands in the way of big private money even when it should, and you Friedmanists should be dancing for joy every day. But instead you're always actively trying to cripple any initiative that might level the playing field and give small businesses a chance. Example: the government gives out massive corporate welfare all the time, and you let it slide. Why?
@cyanmanta ...um, who said I was talking about the U.S. government what it is or isn't doing correctly? Also, that's pretty generous of you to assume that I have the ability to prevent the government from passing out corporate welfare. : )
@PancakeRecipes Well it wouldn't make any sense if it was about Africans, since there aren't any communist dictatorships with space programs in Africa. DERRR
@PancakeRecipes oh please asians are the most racist people on earth especially to any one thats not white or dark skin all u fuckers can eat a bag off dick
The one thing that I like more than Onion News Network videos are the epic comment wars people get into about the video. Calm down people! It's just a video. An epicly funny video XD
The Onion ripping on commies (China/North Korea) are the funniest videos they have. That is saying something because I haven't seen one of these videos I didn't like.
"Once soldier came to my house and took away my father to be an astronaut, and threatened to burn our house down if he did not go, this is a much better way"
The reason that so many people wrongfully think that the ONN is "fake" could be found in the fact that it is the only news agency which reports on less popular subjects, from which other news outlets shy away. They do this with honesty and courage, and as a fellow journalist (I've been working for REUTERS for 15 years now) I have the utmost respect for their work. This controversial piece about China's space program is some of the best examples of true journalism I have ever seen!!
Only ethnic people in China care about the government. Most people continue their lives, since the government isn't really tyrannical. All countries are totalitarian... duh.
How is the oppression of free speech, religion and peaceful protest not tyrannical?
And no, not all countries are totalitarian. A totalitarian state is one without political opposition, with complete and absolute control over every aspect of society, culture, and the economy.
Words have meaning for a reason. I suggest you invest in a dictionary
China allows religion, infact many Chinese people are muslim and budhist, so are politicians..... They try to stop some ethnic protests because it leads to massive riots, usually. I doubt they are 'peaceful'.
America doesn't repress free speech, it's in the constitution. freedom of religion and protest are also in there. And if you haven't noticed, there are several active political parties in america and the government does NOT control the economy, so no, America doesn't do any of that.
And China only allows government sanctioned places of worship and religions. Chinese people can choose 1 of 5 religions and no others. So there is no freedom to worship when, where and what you want.
Do you not understand what "government sanctioned" means? The only 5 LEGAL religions in china are Taoism, Catholicism Protestantism, Islam and Buddhism. If the government has to OK a religion through sanctions, then there's no freedom of religion.
And no, they don't arrest you without question. They can detain you for questioning for a short period of time. But to arrest you and place charges, they need to prove purpose and intent. Without either the case won't hold up in court.
It's redundant to say that China has human rights issues when most people live their normal lives. The government wont take your money with high taxes or bother you. If you care about the government who doesnt touch you, then you obviously have no life or ambition. The point of life is education and success, not caring about your stupid cult or politics. As long as they dont harm me. I've visited China, it seems OK.
So slave and child labour, the violent oppression of peaceful demonstration, no free speech, orphanages where they bind children to their beds and make the unwanted starve to death, no government accountability, none of these are human rights issues?
There is no slave or child labour. There was a KKK march in America, and the crowd was violent. There's always some violence in protests. There is no starvation, infact, 90% of the population has middle income. Other 10% is really rich or poor. The Chinese government, according to some experts, is the quickest to respond to events and develop areas. In the past 50 years, China is dramatically changing. In America, unemployment is 11%, which is really bad (worse than China, in some areas).
People who care about politics in 1st world countries are bored losers who don't have a life. I'm a medical student, and I'm too busy to waste my time caring about politics. Seriously, it's not like China is Cuba or fascist Japan... Most protests against China are territory disputes.
These people are usually Muslim, so they can get violent. In America, the FBI would arrest them likewise China does, because they are Muslim extremists.
I dont understand your thinking, you are basing facts from China probably 100 years ago. Nice job, troll. I've been to China, even rural parts, and it is generally normal.
I have friends doing economy and politics, they did assignments on China and agree with what I said. There is no brutal oppression, poor economy, slave labour system.... China is one of the world's fastest developing countries, as well as India :).
@MoonHoplite Umm you're the troll, you started and perpetuated this whole thing. And just because you went the once on a trip, does not mean you have intimate insight to the countries polacies.
Yes China does use slave labor on their prison population, just type "China prison labor" into google. I never said they had a poor economy, learn 2 read. and no violent oppression? Have you ever heard of Tienanmen Square? That only happened 21 years ago(not 100), just to name one time.
Your writing is terrible, please at least include basic grammar.
Facist parties aren't run by "commercial corporations"... idiot. You should really check it up, it suites you.
You exaggerated and said China is a slave nation...
Oh, don't forget the many war crimes committed by American soldiers. Does that mean the American people are bad? You are very hypocritical. All nations have bad things in them. In fact, I think America has committed more crimes than China.
Wow, just wow. You should try taking your head out of your ass sometime. I said China uses slave labour. Forced Prison Labour IS slave labour. I NEVER said they were a slave nation you idiot. Learn 2 fucking read! Maybe you should stop exaggerating. Everything I've claimed is accurate and backed by research and news articles. News articles, you know, those things that have to get verified for authenticity and accuracy.
I never said that fascist parties are run by "commercial corporations". How about you go back to elementary school and learn to read.
I said "a fascist state is a corporation run government". That means a totalitarian state where the government and industry are the same thing. CEO's are politicians, and it is businesses that make the laws. The middle class are workers for the government & nothing more
This is only one aspect of fascism, but it is the main pillar of the philosophy
Learn how to write, your grammar is horrible and you fail to express your ideas in your sentences. You did technically say the things i quoted. You just poorly expressed it. How about you reading all of my comments properly?
How you are extremely hypocritical? Prisoners in America are forced with labour. It's considered as a rehabilitation process. Nice try of exaggeration, troll. You make up lots of ridiculous facts, yet you criticise me of people not accurate.
You're right, some prisoners in America are forced into labour, and it is atrocious and should be outlawed. But at least America pays their prisoners and does not starve them nor do they subjugate them to unsanitary, inhumane, and humiliating conditions.
You are an absolute joke. You have never been to a Chinese or American prison, so you wouldn't know anything. What next? Do you believe that Aliens exist and that a new world order is coming? Crackpot... there is no conspiracy from the government, hippie.
@MoonHoplite You do realize you don't have to be somewhere to know what's going on. I watch a thing called the News and I do something called research and validation.
"Reform through labour" is the primary slogan of the Chinese criminal justice system. To say they don't force labour on prisoners is absurd.
Now you're making fallacious statements. You don't even know me.
Actually you are not writing accurately and concisely.
You had horrible grammar earlier on. It's obvious that you spent a lot of time trying to write your recent comments. What a joke. You wrote poorly and vaguely, thus I could easily satire and use it against you, idiot.
You contention that fascist parties are run by "commercial corporations" is wrong and in no way similar to mine or any other definition of fascism.
A "commercial corporation", follows the laws set by an independent government body and any person has the potential to start, run or be removed from a business.
In fascism, the government acts as a corporation & both runs all business and regulates law. CEOs are appointed to power indefinitely and are members of an oligarchy.
Im not even gonna bother with you. You replied on a topic a few weeks ago... You keep making up ridiculous facts, to obviously piss people off. Nice try.
@MoonHoplite Really, exactly what have I "made up"? prove one thing I've said as being inaccurate and show me the proof that contradicts me and I'll concede.
YOU claimed China isn't tyrannical, that they don't use prison labour, they don't oppress religion, free speech, personal expression and association. YOU claimed Japan was a fascist state, when it's not. YOU are the troll and should stop making ridiculous statements.
They don't, that's just silly facts. Tyranny is the wrong term to describe the government form in China. I know you are exaggerating and trolling, but it's not the technical term, not even close.
You are very hypocritical, since America abuses human rights worse than many other countries.
Please, stop trolling with rediculous facts. If China was a blood thirsty nation of killers you like to mention, then why haven't they started any wars yet? Troll...
lol, "silly facts", "ridiculous facts", it doesn't matter what what adjective you use, a fact is still a fact. So, what I said was fact, according to you.
You say I'm "trolling with ridiculous facts", you are the one trolling, or you would actually have something to say instead of blatant contradiction.
What i mean is that in your little mind you comprehend it as a fact.
To most of us, it's ridiculous.
It's not a fact, it's stupid. The Chinese government isn't massacring millions of people as you claim.
Quality of life has statistically improved in China, rapidly. I think it's in America where people are unemployed and unhappy. Didn't America start many wars?
Stupid troll... nice try, i totally believe you when you say China kills millions of lives everyday.
You fail, just get the fuck out you attention seeking troll. You're pissed because you can't handle an arguement which doesn't require fiction and trolling. lol, owned....
Why don't you shut up and stop replying weeks after my comments? You try too hard.
The fact is that most Western analysts agree that:
The Chinese government is the quickest to react and one of the best governments for developing.
I lived in China and there was no oppression. It's not like North Korea.
These are facts. Not some stupid claims you make about "human rights". America has human rights issues, technically. If you want to argue, please be civil.
But I guess you can't, because you are trolling me. Go annoy someone else, please.
I seriously don't see how China is a tyrannical blood thirsty nation. What evidence have you got? Anyway, doesn't America have one of the world's highest crime rates and fairly high unemployment? Don't they have tyrranical policies and start heaps of wars and commit many WAR CRIMES on nations they occupy? Isn't their political and corporate corruption?
You are very hypocritical.
Try to discuss the matter, or gtfo troll. You haven't answered me yet or tried discussing.
lol, I am writing concisely and accurately. YOU are misinterpreting and misunderstanding my statements (whether you're uneducated or just borderline illiterate is trivial).
I adequately express my ideas with near perfect grammar and syntax, and it is sad that you cannot comprehend such forward arguments. You're just resulting to Ad Hominem fallacies because you have no valid statements to make in opposition to me.
You, sir, have no comprehension of the English language
Japan has some fascist parties who are anti-Jew and anti-Korean/Chinese/lots of Asian countries.
Their past governments acted brutal and believed in racial purity (WWII), so they were fascist, and still uphold a similar view, in minorities.
Please, stop making up facts, use real criticisms of China, so you can convince me that it's actually bad. Im laughing at your ignorance, no offence :)
There is no slave labour system in any developed country, lol... slavery... lol
@MoonHoplite So what if a country has a fascist party? There's plenty of communist, nazi and fascist parties in america and canada, that doesn't mean the country is, unless they've been elected to power.
Japan is a Constitutional Monarchy, that means they're democratic. And racial purity, does not constitute a fascist state. A Fascist state is a corporation run government. You're the one who should stop making up facts.
Do you remember 100 years ago when America committed genocide on Native people? 40 years ago your country violated human rights, with racial discrimination, the black and white bus? How about the numerous cop beating and murdering civilians because they are black? So America is under violent oppression, because the government is in charge of the police and social system. How about the Iraq War, Vietnam war and Afghanistan war? Human rights?....
for some reason that rocket looked like a kerbal rocket.
TheSolitaryTraveller 2 weeks ago
How they find comedians fluent in Chinese?
h0rnd0917 2 months ago
@h0rnd0917 They didn't, those chinese people talked nothing about what was translated into english.
elphaphoenix 1 month ago
space program is useless...
TheYouwontgetit 2 months ago
LOL Satire at its finest. Thank you Onion news network!
cutiepatootie66 3 months ago
Lol, that's so true. Totalitarian regimes are idiotic.
AgesNew 3 months ago in playlist Season 1
"Banished to space" LMFAO
CountForeshadow 3 months ago
Well funny one in 2008. After all the grace US ppl are now suffering an unemployment turmoil...so they no longer got time to insult the diligent Chinese here? Guess the Creator knows who are eviler to be sent off the planet...
uuuweeeeek 3 months ago
wow the translations are sooo different from what they're actually saying lol.
guitarhamster102 3 months ago
Comment removed by communist China
Mankindfails 3 months ago
Now i know how Neil Armsrtrong got into orbit
TheNoobiezz 4 months ago in playlist Season 1
With a hammer and 2 nails... Rofl
GedenWilbur 5 months ago
They all died in 2005! xD
vjm3 5 months ago
"In order to fix any technical problems, that may arise while on orbit, Zhang Tong has been provided with a hammer and two nails." - hilarious
"The space program was initially designed to rid the nation of dissidents, but the program was reimagined as a scientific endeavour when it was discovered that beating people to death is far more cost effective." - hilarious^2
jotdoc 5 months ago
haha hella people are offended at this. Give the Onion a raise
LordKaisen 5 months ago
the chinesse are much better than the american assholes
firestorm1174 6 months ago
@firestorm1174 ...at using chop-sticks. Yeah you're right.
joeskis 6 months ago
@firestorm1174 That's really not a fair comparison. You compare the Chinese to the American assholes. To be proper shouldn't it be Chinese assholes versus American assholes?
bromixsr 2 months ago
I don't get it in videos where there is lots of racism against Africans all the comments are: " Thats SO Racist"
But when it somes to Asians, Chinese people to be exact, this is what I find in about 90% of the comments: " LOL", " Best of Youtube", " The Chinese have no rights." etc. I bet that 9 out of 10 people who wrote those comments haven't even been to China or even remotely understand the law. And do ya know why they haven't been to China? Cause some reason they already have an opinion!
FSXBoeing1 6 months ago
@FSXBoeing1 I've been, and yeah sorry, but they do have minimal human rights. One hospital on the coast recently had organ transplants increase by 10500% when more then 20000 protesters were taken alive in the same city.
grritsmine 5 months ago
@FSXBoeing1 This is about politics, not an individuals appearance or generalizations about genetic traits.
shukka667 5 months ago
haha all the ppl died in 2005
rabidsquirrelfur 7 months ago 3
normally i like ONN but this one is just lame. i mean where's the joke point besides poorly exaggerated racial prejudice?
helloterran 7 months ago
@helloterran I think they are making fun of china's horrible human right laws, not Chinese people themselves
mattster250 7 months ago 4
@helloterran This isn't racial prejudice at all. China has almost no human rights.
AlextheTitan 7 months ago 4
some of you that stupid it should have to put"joke"in subtitles,lmfao,the comments are funny than the video!
manxdude1 7 months ago
WTF!! Your western media are mis-translating Chinese interviews on purpose (1:25) (1:35) ! Can anybody else here hear Chinese? !
though I know CNN always make stories but I didn't realized it makes stories in such a stupid way! Maybe they are just saying sth your American want to hear.
sasunshine1123456 7 months ago
@sasunshine1123456
Uh, this is the onion news network, not CNN. ONN. It's a comedy show.
JohnWittle 7 months ago
The dude is actually talking about some gathering in Hong Kong XD
HiIeric117 7 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
"UFO Disclosure A Global Deception Conspiracy " ON
YOUTUBE is a disclosure of lies and with held
knowledge about life beyond Earth. Footage contains statements
from American presidents, astronauts, military personnel,
politicians & news footage. The compilation contains
revelations regarding first contact, secret pullution
free energy technology + current and ongoing E.T. presence + more.
Futurecop2012E 7 months ago
I'm chinese. Hehe.
yinge101 8 months ago
if i watch this another time im going to piss myself laughing
falloffacliff 9 months ago
/watch?v=WdZlyHuz8ow
faggots
ClipMaster93 9 months ago
If you can speak Chinese, you will know what a stupid translation it is. For example, I feel so happy can be translated to be that some soldiers will burn my house. It's just so funny.
mengpuzhang 9 months ago
Comment removed
mengpuzhang 9 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
The only thing I can say is the translation is so stupid.
mengpuzhang 9 months ago
I love all these deep, meaningful conversations and arguments among ignorant youtubers. Can't you people just get along...But the ironic thing in my saying is that I could start an argument right now...
megamantwelve 9 months ago
"Zhang Tong - Consensual Astronaut"
shnickers 11 months ago
Sun Lion!
7EXASPR0 11 months ago
Dept of education introduces free condom program aimed at keeping sluts in school.. 0:32
keyofdoornarutorscat 11 months ago
Is it just me or the newscaster looks exactly like Mena Suvari?
phaddil 11 months ago
"we may even consider equipment upgrades that will make it possible for shuttles to return to earth
casualgeniusnmbr1 11 months ago
A hammer and two nails is all one needs to fix anything.
toqtaqiya 11 months ago
lol. i'm chinese and i find it hilarious! "beating ppl to death was far more cost-effective" luv that!
staphy82 1 year ago
If these were black people, whites or mexicans everyone would hate this video ? [NOT OFFENDING ANY RACE]
N4rut0m4ng4 1 year ago
Wow! Who knew the Chinese were so backward? Thank you, Onion News Network.
tintintabulations 1 year ago
I understand mandarin, the English translation is totally bullshit...LOL
TheCrawler333 1 year ago
Funny to see americans giggling away at china as china gradually moves into pole position in the world as america slips on the way to becoming bankrupt. Have this racist fun while you can...
retrothix 1 year ago
@retrothix a second ago i was laughing my head off, now you've killed my mood killjoy......even though its true :(
DaHuntsman1 1 year ago
@retrothix China is in no position for lasting prosperity or power. Their policies and methods will only benefit them in the short term. Soon the true nature of the one child policy and their ridiculous pollution will tear the country apart.
Roflcopter4b 1 year ago
@Roflcopter4b they might not be in a long lasting position but they certainly hold the US's economy by the balls,without their 1 child policy China would soon be unable to support every single person with food or water,and how do you think they have ridiculous pollution when they have 4 times as many people as the US? just accept the fact China is one day going to overtake you and you'll be crying like little baby's wanting to be no.1 again so enjoy you're time at the top.
pzdontsaystupidreply 1 year ago
@pzdontsaystupidreply They certainly do hold the US by the balls at the moment. But as I sad the US is in no position to ever pay them back. China will fall apart in time because of social strife, uncollectable debts, and the fact that byfar the majority of their children are male because of their retarded ass one child thing. Their pollution is far far worse than the US even if the populations were the same. As for your personal attack at the end I fail to see your point as I am not American.
Roflcopter4b 1 year ago
this shows china's ingenuity.
impressive launchpad
RomZruleTeHworld 1 year ago
oh my god, where do they get the stock videos for these? i'm sure the people interviewed will be laughing!
brackenjo 1 year ago
@brackenjo they are chinese.. im pritty sure they cant laugh
darkbunhead 1 year ago
@darkbunhead you make me sad... personally
Frdchanga 1 year ago
lmao hes gonna get food oxygen and......... a chair
needpancakemix 1 year ago
Apolo rocket bombed on ground with 3US assnuts burn alive and become thanks giving style turkey meat. 2 US space shuttles space fireworks with 28US ass-nuts dead in free style sky jump with no paras. USA! !USA!! ~~~we americans are Homer simpsons!!! we americans are stupid retards don't have shame. even we had this kind of failures, and yet still we have good self-image. Oh, yeath, thanks to our mad cow disease contaminated nerves.
IwantaYBaccount 1 year ago
@IwantaYBaccount Butthurt?
Jeffariah123 1 year ago
"awoke to find himself in orbit" -- I can't stop laughing at that phrase
asmilesa 1 year ago 86
111 people were forced into space by the Chinese government.
prplmnky 1 year ago 5
If this was about Africans everyone would be screaming racism.
PancakeRecipes 1 year ago 166
@PancakeRecipes Africans can't afford space shuttles
xseb5x 1 year ago 6
@PancakeRecipes If people actully thing this is racist then we have a bigger problem to worry about.
thehornypuppy 1 year ago
@PancakeRecipes But it isn't because most of Africa is a disgusting AIDS ridden slum that couldn't afford to buy a single bolt for a shuttle
kevinhxc441 1 year ago
@PancakeRecipes HA! Africans in space... Good one.
bassmzero 1 year ago
@PancakeRecipes But sadly enough there is no space program in Africa. LOL
dogking100 1 year ago
@PancakeRecipes I think you missed the point. It's got nothing to do with race, and everything to do with the human rights violations that are constantly going on in China. If Zimbabwe had a space program then they would have been a perfectly legitimate substitute.
fatmikecj 1 year ago 2
@PancakeRecipes there's probably one or two asians out there
12212012Oo19 1 year ago
@PancakeRecipes Africa's not a country idiot
djphatd 11 months ago
@djphatd
Actually I said "Africans" not "Africa", nice try though. Still the highest rated comment up in this bish oh ya!
PancakeRecipes 11 months ago
@PancakeRecipes it's not about race, it's about making fun of the ultra-authoritarian chinese government.... sheesh
Yagmilner 11 months ago 33
@Yagmilner
No I know the video itself is about that, I just meant the comments on YouTube would all be about racism if this was about black people instead of Asians.
PancakeRecipes 11 months ago
@Yagmilner
What people don't realize when they make fun of the Chinese government is that if China had gone the way of Gorbachev (democracy first-economic development later), there would still be rampant starvation in China due to hampered infrastructure and business development. Face it, the "bad, bad totalitarian government" is doing a lot better than the US government in providing financial opportunities for its people.
berkshireee 10 months ago
@berkshireee you're misled. What are you a chinese spy being paid to put this garble up here? The hampering of the infrastructure and business development has almost certainly been caused by the government. Its basic economics, the more a government intervenes, the more ineficiencies are caused in they system. The only place for economic intervention for a goverment is to act as a stabalizer, easing transitions or to adjust taxes in such a way to convert hidden costs into real costs.
Yagmilner 10 months ago
@Yagmilner Yeah, let me know when the US government even begins to do anything to "stabilize" and "ease transitions". Our government never stands in the way of big private money even when it should, and you Friedmanists should be dancing for joy every day. But instead you're always actively trying to cripple any initiative that might level the playing field and give small businesses a chance. Example: the government gives out massive corporate welfare all the time, and you let it slide. Why?
cyanmanta 10 months ago
@cyanmanta ...um, who said I was talking about the U.S. government what it is or isn't doing correctly? Also, that's pretty generous of you to assume that I have the ability to prevent the government from passing out corporate welfare. : )
Yagmilner 10 months ago
@PancakeRecipes Africans don't have space programs hurr
SoloWing808 10 months ago 15
@SoloWing808 like duh!
TCt83067695 9 months ago
@SoloWing808 The Pakistanis and Iranians have space programs..
RayKalmNiam 2 months ago
@RayKalmNiam Technically, both those countries are located in South Asia, not Africa.
SoloWing808 2 months ago
@SoloWing808 I know that -_-. Just saying.
RayKalmNiam 2 months ago
@RayKalmNiam What do the Pakistanis and Iranians have to do with my comment though? =/
SoloWing808 2 months ago
@SoloWing808 yes they do they attach a camera to a spear and through it into the air
masterrob321 2 months ago
@PancakeRecipes I LOL'D SO HARD HAHAHAH!!!!
ShAdOwViRuSiAn 9 months ago
@PancakeRecipes except nether race has nothing to do with forcing criminal's into space
DukeTravers 8 months ago
@PancakeRecipes Does any country in Africa have a space program?
Crablec10 8 months ago
@PancakeRecipes It's horribly offensive and thats why it's brilliant. I think we should be able to make fun of everyone, regardless of race.
I dream of a world where anyone can be insulted and mocked.
END THE BIGOTRY!
AkamuSlayer 7 months ago
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shukka667 5 months ago
Comment removed
shukka667 5 months ago
@PancakeRecipes Well it wouldn't make any sense if it was about Africans, since there aren't any communist dictatorships with space programs in Africa. DERRR
canubelieve 6 months ago
@PancakeRecipes ya we cool like that
mtksbctk 6 months ago
@PancakeRecipes oh please asians are the most racist people on earth especially to any one thats not white or dark skin all u fuckers can eat a bag off dick
evilmickey100 4 months ago
@PancakeRecipes who gives a shit, you didn't say it so its not your problem
solidsnake2112 4 months ago
@PancakeRecipes African countries can't afford space programmes.
klm4298 3 months ago
@klm4298 Ummm....That's a lie!! Don't believe all the shit you see on t.v. Have you ever been to Africa?!
bollocks2who 2 months ago
@PancakeRecipes
but that's a continent, not a country ruled by a repressive regime.
BrigitteAbbendis 3 months ago
The one thing that I like more than Onion News Network videos are the epic comment wars people get into about the video. Calm down people! It's just a video. An epicly funny video XD
Chibikyon13 1 year ago
Why are people always fighting in the comments of onion videos? Why can't we all get along?
VivaConrodo 1 year ago 4
The Chinese are getting soft with capitalism! lol
revolt1492 1 year ago 3
The Onion ripping on commies (China/North Korea) are the funniest videos they have. That is saying something because I haven't seen one of these videos I didn't like.
u0455294 1 year ago 3
Dept of education introduces free condom program aimed at keeping sluts in school
(at 0:31)
tasmia7 1 year ago 2
wow, A hammer and two nails
GarysGood 1 year ago 2
LOL at EVERY LINE. I love you, Onion <3
armorArtichoke 1 year ago
"Once soldier came to my house and took away my father to be an astronaut, and threatened to burn our house down if he did not go, this is a much better way"
LOL!!!
jeibal02 1 year ago
Two journalists and two college professors. Loves it!
baigandine 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
"..we may even consider equipment upgrades, that will make it possible for shuttle to return to earth" hahaha
sam982000pwns 1 year ago
The reason that so many people wrongfully think that the ONN is "fake" could be found in the fact that it is the only news agency which reports on less popular subjects, from which other news outlets shy away. They do this with honesty and courage, and as a fellow journalist (I've been working for REUTERS for 15 years now) I have the utmost respect for their work. This controversial piece about China's space program is some of the best examples of true journalism I have ever seen!!
pedosintalgon 1 year ago
All died in 2005 LOL
xleo21 1 year ago
"..one day men came to my house and told us that they would burn our house down if my father wouldn't become an astronaut.."
so great
cheeseboy340 1 year ago
hahahah hilarious!!!!! dumb chinese
rrpauldoran 1 year ago
Haha the public interview translations have nothing to do with what they are really saying :D (I'm chinese)
Antherius47 1 year ago
the news anchor is hawwt
southsydney 1 year ago
Im chinese and I like how the translation has nothing to do what they are actually saying.
Darkness2288 1 year ago
LOL! UN apologizes for accidentally dropping 3,000 tons of broken glass on Rwandan refugees instead of aid packages.
argeque 1 year ago
why two nails he needed atleast a screw!! but then again the hammer is man's greatest invention it can break all and fix some thing.
justchecknitout4 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
burn house down if he do not go LOL... when the government discovered that beating people is much more cost effective. LMAO
lhagek 1 year ago
burn house down if he do not go LOL... when the government discovered that beating people is much more cost effective. LMAO
lhagek 1 year ago
oh man im chinese and this is funny lol
xiyuemaa 1 year ago
HAHAHAHA! it's funny cause China's a tyrannical totalitarian state with no regard for human life outside the government
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Only ethnic people in China care about the government. Most people continue their lives, since the government isn't really tyrannical. All countries are totalitarian... duh.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
How is the oppression of free speech, religion and peaceful protest not tyrannical?
And no, not all countries are totalitarian. A totalitarian state is one without political opposition, with complete and absolute control over every aspect of society, culture, and the economy.
Words have meaning for a reason. I suggest you invest in a dictionary
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Doesnt America do that too?
China allows religion, infact many Chinese people are muslim and budhist, so are politicians..... They try to stop some ethnic protests because it leads to massive riots, usually. I doubt they are 'peaceful'.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
America doesn't repress free speech, it's in the constitution. freedom of religion and protest are also in there. And if you haven't noticed, there are several active political parties in america and the government does NOT control the economy, so no, America doesn't do any of that.
And China only allows government sanctioned places of worship and religions. Chinese people can choose 1 of 5 religions and no others. So there is no freedom to worship when, where and what you want.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Ummn, there are Christians, Muslims, Budhists, Hindus, everything in China. Why are there so many churches and shrines?
In America, they do suppress freedom of speech, if they think you are a terrorist, they will arrest you without question. Same thing in China.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
Do you not understand what "government sanctioned" means? The only 5 LEGAL religions in china are Taoism, Catholicism Protestantism, Islam and Buddhism. If the government has to OK a religion through sanctions, then there's no freedom of religion.
And no, they don't arrest you without question. They can detain you for questioning for a short period of time. But to arrest you and place charges, they need to prove purpose and intent. Without either the case won't hold up in court.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
They won't arrest you, I've seen heaps of cults in China, no one cares. People leave them alone.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
It's redundant to say that China has human rights issues when most people live their normal lives. The government wont take your money with high taxes or bother you. If you care about the government who doesnt touch you, then you obviously have no life or ambition. The point of life is education and success, not caring about your stupid cult or politics. As long as they dont harm me. I've visited China, it seems OK.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
So slave and child labour, the violent oppression of peaceful demonstration, no free speech, orphanages where they bind children to their beds and make the unwanted starve to death, no government accountability, none of these are human rights issues?
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
There is no slave or child labour. There was a KKK march in America, and the crowd was violent. There's always some violence in protests. There is no starvation, infact, 90% of the population has middle income. Other 10% is really rich or poor. The Chinese government, according to some experts, is the quickest to respond to events and develop areas. In the past 50 years, China is dramatically changing. In America, unemployment is 11%, which is really bad (worse than China, in some areas).
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
People who care about politics in 1st world countries are bored losers who don't have a life. I'm a medical student, and I'm too busy to waste my time caring about politics. Seriously, it's not like China is Cuba or fascist Japan... Most protests against China are territory disputes.
These people are usually Muslim, so they can get violent. In America, the FBI would arrest them likewise China does, because they are Muslim extremists.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
Japan isn't fascist, it's a constitutional monarchy, like Canada. Do you even know what fascism is?
And if politics is for bored losers, why did YOU bring up the issue in the first place?
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
I dont understand your thinking, you are basing facts from China probably 100 years ago. Nice job, troll. I've been to China, even rural parts, and it is generally normal.
I have friends doing economy and politics, they did assignments on China and agree with what I said. There is no brutal oppression, poor economy, slave labour system.... China is one of the world's fastest developing countries, as well as India :).
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite Umm you're the troll, you started and perpetuated this whole thing. And just because you went the once on a trip, does not mean you have intimate insight to the countries polacies.
Yes China does use slave labor on their prison population, just type "China prison labor" into google. I never said they had a poor economy, learn 2 read. and no violent oppression? Have you ever heard of Tienanmen Square? That only happened 21 years ago(not 100), just to name one time.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Your writing is terrible, please at least include basic grammar.
Facist parties aren't run by "commercial corporations"... idiot. You should really check it up, it suites you.
You exaggerated and said China is a slave nation...
Oh, don't forget the many war crimes committed by American soldiers. Does that mean the American people are bad? You are very hypocritical. All nations have bad things in them. In fact, I think America has committed more crimes than China.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
Wow, just wow. You should try taking your head out of your ass sometime. I said China uses slave labour. Forced Prison Labour IS slave labour. I NEVER said they were a slave nation you idiot. Learn 2 fucking read! Maybe you should stop exaggerating. Everything I've claimed is accurate and backed by research and news articles. News articles, you know, those things that have to get verified for authenticity and accuracy.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
I never said that fascist parties are run by "commercial corporations". How about you go back to elementary school and learn to read.
I said "a fascist state is a corporation run government". That means a totalitarian state where the government and industry are the same thing. CEO's are politicians, and it is businesses that make the laws. The middle class are workers for the government & nothing more
This is only one aspect of fascism, but it is the main pillar of the philosophy
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
Learn how to write, your grammar is horrible and you fail to express your ideas in your sentences. You did technically say the things i quoted. You just poorly expressed it. How about you reading all of my comments properly?
How you are extremely hypocritical? Prisoners in America are forced with labour. It's considered as a rehabilitation process. Nice try of exaggeration, troll. You make up lots of ridiculous facts, yet you criticise me of people not accurate.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
You're right, some prisoners in America are forced into labour, and it is atrocious and should be outlawed. But at least America pays their prisoners and does not starve them nor do they subjugate them to unsanitary, inhumane, and humiliating conditions.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
You kidding?
You are an absolute joke. You have never been to a Chinese or American prison, so you wouldn't know anything. What next? Do you believe that Aliens exist and that a new world order is coming? Crackpot... there is no conspiracy from the government, hippie.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite You do realize you don't have to be somewhere to know what's going on. I watch a thing called the News and I do something called research and validation.
"Reform through labour" is the primary slogan of the Chinese criminal justice system. To say they don't force labour on prisoners is absurd.
Now you're making fallacious statements. You don't even know me.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Actually you are not writing accurately and concisely.
You had horrible grammar earlier on. It's obvious that you spent a lot of time trying to write your recent comments. What a joke. You wrote poorly and vaguely, thus I could easily satire and use it against you, idiot.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
You contention that fascist parties are run by "commercial corporations" is wrong and in no way similar to mine or any other definition of fascism.
A "commercial corporation", follows the laws set by an independent government body and any person has the potential to start, run or be removed from a business.
In fascism, the government acts as a corporation & both runs all business and regulates law. CEOs are appointed to power indefinitely and are members of an oligarchy.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Dude, you are the troll.
Im not even gonna bother with you. You replied on a topic a few weeks ago... You keep making up ridiculous facts, to obviously piss people off. Nice try.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite Really, exactly what have I "made up"? prove one thing I've said as being inaccurate and show me the proof that contradicts me and I'll concede.
YOU claimed China isn't tyrannical, that they don't use prison labour, they don't oppress religion, free speech, personal expression and association. YOU claimed Japan was a fascist state, when it's not. YOU are the troll and should stop making ridiculous statements.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
They don't, that's just silly facts. Tyranny is the wrong term to describe the government form in China. I know you are exaggerating and trolling, but it's not the technical term, not even close.
You are very hypocritical, since America abuses human rights worse than many other countries.
Please, stop trolling with rediculous facts. If China was a blood thirsty nation of killers you like to mention, then why haven't they started any wars yet? Troll...
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
lol, "silly facts", "ridiculous facts", it doesn't matter what what adjective you use, a fact is still a fact. So, what I said was fact, according to you.
You say I'm "trolling with ridiculous facts", you are the one trolling, or you would actually have something to say instead of blatant contradiction.
I win, thank you. Bye troll.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
What i mean is that in your little mind you comprehend it as a fact.
To most of us, it's ridiculous.
It's not a fact, it's stupid. The Chinese government isn't massacring millions of people as you claim.
Quality of life has statistically improved in China, rapidly. I think it's in America where people are unemployed and unhappy. Didn't America start many wars?
Stupid troll... nice try, i totally believe you when you say China kills millions of lives everyday.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
Can't you take a hint? I said good bye, so you can go fuck yourself for all I care. I'm done wasting my time on ignorant trolls like you.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
That's why you are replying to me.
You fail, just get the fuck out you attention seeking troll. You're pissed because you can't handle an arguement which doesn't require fiction and trolling. lol, owned....
Why don't you shut up and stop replying weeks after my comments? You try too hard.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
You pathetic troll.
So hypocritical. You can shut up now and try to avoid your embarrassment :)
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
Shut the hell up with your 6-8 pages of arguing and for the opinions of two people...
iseenofear 1 year ago
@iseenofear
That was months ago. You stfu, stupid retard.
ThebanPhalanx 1 year ago
@ThebanPhalanx
now now, don't get angry... angry enough to say "stfu, stupid retard."
iseenofear 1 year ago
@iseenofear umad?
Kiroswan 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
The fact is that most Western analysts agree that:
The Chinese government is the quickest to react and one of the best governments for developing.
I lived in China and there was no oppression. It's not like North Korea.
These are facts. Not some stupid claims you make about "human rights". America has human rights issues, technically. If you want to argue, please be civil.
But I guess you can't, because you are trolling me. Go annoy someone else, please.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
I seriously don't see how China is a tyrannical blood thirsty nation. What evidence have you got? Anyway, doesn't America have one of the world's highest crime rates and fairly high unemployment? Don't they have tyrranical policies and start heaps of wars and commit many WAR CRIMES on nations they occupy? Isn't their political and corporate corruption?
You are very hypocritical.
Try to discuss the matter, or gtfo troll. You haven't answered me yet or tried discussing.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Are you also trying to say that my friends in China are oppressed?
Are they lying that they like visiting China? They are brainwashed right? They lied about not seeing the government kill people on the street daily.
They lied about the booming economy and westernisation in China? Wow, you know these people more than me.
You know how everyone lives like in China, impressive... bye troll.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
I think an economics and politics student > you.
"Learn to f* read! Go back to school.......", you've repeated this so many times, is that all you have?
Could you please try to write concisely? A lot of what you write is vague and poorly expressed. You exaggerate a lot and incorrectly describe things.
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite
lol, I am writing concisely and accurately. YOU are misinterpreting and misunderstanding my statements (whether you're uneducated or just borderline illiterate is trivial).
I adequately express my ideas with near perfect grammar and syntax, and it is sad that you cannot comprehend such forward arguments. You're just resulting to Ad Hominem fallacies because you have no valid statements to make in opposition to me.
You, sir, have no comprehension of the English language
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
It's nothing about comprehension, just me pointing out the stupidity in your comments and writing. You fail, troll :/
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite You are the one resulting to personal attacks and ignoring the topic at hand.
I made a simple comment for the purpose of comedy and you're who instigates a debate. I'm sorry sir, but you are the troll.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
@TheHomelessCripple
Japan has some fascist parties who are anti-Jew and anti-Korean/Chinese/lots of Asian countries.
Their past governments acted brutal and believed in racial purity (WWII), so they were fascist, and still uphold a similar view, in minorities.
Please, stop making up facts, use real criticisms of China, so you can convince me that it's actually bad. Im laughing at your ignorance, no offence :)
There is no slave labour system in any developed country, lol... slavery... lol
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
@MoonHoplite So what if a country has a fascist party? There's plenty of communist, nazi and fascist parties in america and canada, that doesn't mean the country is, unless they've been elected to power.
Japan is a Constitutional Monarchy, that means they're democratic. And racial purity, does not constitute a fascist state. A Fascist state is a corporation run government. You're the one who should stop making up facts.
Forced prison labor is still slave labor.
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
Do you remember 100 years ago when America committed genocide on Native people? 40 years ago your country violated human rights, with racial discrimination, the black and white bus? How about the numerous cop beating and murdering civilians because they are black? So America is under violent oppression, because the government is in charge of the police and social system. How about the Iraq War, Vietnam war and Afghanistan war? Human rights?....
MoonHoplite 1 year ago
OMFG! "Blues Festival Marred By Blues Music" !
podx990 1 year ago
is he death ?
Aizen0sama 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
although i know this is a joke and its pretty funny, i still dont think anyone should ever make fun of a country, even if this isn't real
Eddyf24 1 year ago
@Eddyf24 why?
ActiveStorage 1 year ago
"..we may even consider equipment upgrades, that will make it possible for shuttle to return to earth" hahaha
snehesten 1 year ago 69
Lol wow so mean to the chinese.
LostHisMarbles 1 year ago
i know :D neat, huh :D ?
somberlight 1 year ago
The trolls need to tone down on their trolling prowess! I can't tell who are the idiots who think that this is real and who are the trolls :p
aegisofrime 1 year ago
@aegisofrime fagget.
wopspee 1 year ago
Same to you. :)
aegisofrime 1 year ago