Added: 3 years ago
From: Rayzong
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  • '' Medium cock, also got big cock, also got. '' <3

  • I'm Singaporean but I speak perfect English, I agree, this IS funny, but if you live in SG for more than 5Years you'd get used to it and you don't mind it.

  • I'd been living in Singapore for the past 4 years and the Singalish was kinda lolling me.They pronounce 'three'=tree,'thought'='talk'.­when you see people speaking in this manner,don't judge,probably u should start scratching your head and wondering what the hell is going on.

  • Still watching in 2012

  • hahahahaha

  • singaporean = fucking chinese living in singapore

  • I lived in Singapore for 3 months so awesome.

  • Wow it's so funny .. Awesome make other vid

  • lol this is so true though.

  • IF you hadn't notice that this is NOT singlish. Singlish is our mix of english with malay and chinese and other dialects. Singlish is NOT bad grammar and this women is speaking the lousiest english and you can't base singlish on this cause this is one of the worst.

  • Singaporeans may speak Singlish as their everyday life dialect, but when it comes to being serious, they may speak English as well as everybody could :)

  • flu joos and cock! OMG it's so hilarious!

  • big cock, medium cock, now that could really sound off color, btw we said small, large or medium coke but not big coke!

  • auntie has a lot of cocks huh? you must be smokin hot.

  • Fucking funny

  • I luv this accent it's cool...but pls you guys need to fix the grammar

  • I love Singlish, I hope, as a dialect, it never dies out.

  • This is chinese singaporean , not Singaporean .

  • aliens can understand singlish. lolololol..

  • funking hilarious

  • I tell you arh those bloody gundoo yaya papya people think singah-por the people should tok like some dono waht ang moh should FUCKING go to hell and jia sai. They have cockney in London. Why not singlish in Singapore?

  • Lol is this real!?

  • Medium cock also got BIG cock also got. 3 3 3 FOR THE PRICE OF ONE AAARR!!

    LOL

  • Ha ha ha ha ha haa ha ha haha

  • LOL

  • HAHA

  • my friend was at a chinese resturant and the chinese girl said "You want some pussy?" she couldnt say "Pepsi"

  • Small cock dont have arh???

  • This is good.

    It trains up my abs.

  • The lady is obviously a middle-aged person who can't speak English well... Definately not Singlish at all! Please stop giving the wrong impression to foreigners, especially when they don't know our local culture well.

  • @annabelloo U r so wrong, I went to college with foreign students from Singapore, they all speak like this lady and some are even worst. I remember this one time at the animal shelter I was taking one of my dogs for shots, this Singapore guy was trying to locate his lost dog. Everyone at the animal shelter tried not to laugh at his accent because it sounds so awful & funny. How do I know he was from Singapore because one of the officers asked for ID and he took out his Singapore passport.

  • @marinelife411 I agree that a small numbers may speak like this lady, but majority don't. But can i ask how many Singaporeans have you met? When a true Singaporean actually speaks well, would anyone still be keen to want to find out where is this person from? To know the culture of a country well, one has to be opened and be willing to learn. There are a lot of foreigners that live in Singapore for years and don't even know the culture well...

  • @spoken83 lived there, Still funny as hell!

  • @marinelife411 I agree. Singaporean can't speak proper english. We should learn to speak better english. it's not only about the accent but simply proper english. I had met professor from Germany and Japan when I was in overseas college, they speak with an accent but proper and correct english. The problem with singaporean is we can't switch from singlish to proper english. Singlish is the correct english to most people.

  • @viola128 Well... evidently you should learn to speak better english. Plus you sound like you've been brainwashed by the SGEM. Anyway. You can't generalize that most people think that Singlish is the correct english because they don't. To some (mostly the older generation) like this lady here, Singlish is the only variety of english they can speak because they weren't educated in English. However I think that the proportion of educated people is increasing, and they can codeswitch effectively.

  • @viola128 I LOVE THE ACCENTS D:

  • @viola128 Singlish is a creole language though. From a linguistic point of view, that's how it is, no goods or bads about it. It's just how it is.. Many misunderstand the nature of these creole languages and make surface-level judgements, considering the language in question to be a mere broken form of its parent language. Consider Jamaican Creole ("Patois").. and, of course, Singlish.. It's a low-prestige language, unfortunately. It's not even viewed as a language at all, much of the time.

  • like if u r still watching in 2011

  • God, this is not the worst, when I traveled there. I even heard some of the Indians who had singlish accent. Don't know what they were talking. Fail~

  • Okay, this is a multi-racial country everyone, outsiders, foreigners HAVE to understand what we're speaking. I suggest good English but some people are really just ignorant. I'm not saying Singlish is bad but we are speaking English and it should be spoken properly. I am a born-Singaporean and I don't even know what Bo Liao means even though it is used in loads of conversations around me. People should start speaking proper English for their own good.

  • @diamondheart1998 I love Singlish :D it's shiok

  • Speaking with accent is totally different from speaking Singlish. Accent is just speaking with different tone but with proper sentence structure. Singlish is form using sentence structure used in Malay, Indian and mandarin way of speaking. It not only sounds funny, it's also really hard for foreigner to really understand what we are speaking at times.

  • sounds really fake. Since when is there small, medium and large cokes available for order at a food caterer?

  • That laughter in the background is just too funny.... XD

  • I want the big cock

  • listen up everyone, I'm British myself but I must admit that the Malaysians and Singaporeans speaks, write and read MUCH MUCH BETTER English than the British.

  • @kiwichai That's not true =)

  • @kiwichai I agree on the writing part but I'm not so sure about the speaking and reading part because the community here is terrible. Trust me, it's worse.

  • Why the debate? Language other than your own is not easy... I have been speaking for around 71 years and still have a problem with some of the words... This is funny, because it is funny not because they are not fluent...  Obama went to 57 states, Al Gore invented the Internet! So? It's funny, enjoy it. By the way, will everyone PROMISE to spell Internet with a capital "I" like it is supposed to be!

  • Is that Bolo Santosi on the phone?

  • Omg i love myself!

  • I'm a native speaker of English but I don't look down on people who don't speak it properly. As someone who is learning three languages, I think it's good that people even try to learn a new a language at all.

    Singlish sounds like it'd be fun to speak. I'd love to have the opportunity to study it in the future.

  • @bookofthedead Well, you can't really study it, although there're book publications such as the ''singlish dictionary''. You'd have to pick it up by going to Singapore personally and getting yourself surrounded by people who speak it.

  • his ' wow ' make me laugh for 5 minutes, at 1: 07.. hahahahhahaha

  • Comment removed

  • er i live in singapore and use normal english.I've been learning english since i was young and i've been to international secondary school/ high school. However i'm from another part of asia(korea). I'm totally okay with ppl speaking singlish but i get mad when people get mad at me for not speaking singlish or make fun of me. what's that about??? inferiority?

  • @angelajang1 I don't think that is inferiority. I think it's just cultural shock or something others. How about you try to understand their culture and be like them.

  • @angelajang1 Yes.. it's inferiority all right.. I speak with a slight British accent and my schoolmates hold me in awe because of that. They don't make fun of me at all.. Perhaps come to me for help with the language? I've been told that my accent is ''cool''.

  • @angelajang1 there's nothing wrong with you. I love singapore but i don't think we should "promote" englsih. it's not about the accent, we all should learn how to speak proper english. Especially in formal occasion. Most singaporean can't speak proper english because singlish sounds "right" to us. Even school teachers speak singlish. nothing against the the country but it's about time. We have so many things to be proud of, why not our english speaking? it is "English" right?

  • What the hell with that ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • me : to geylang street sir....

    cab driver : aa....yu wan chik haa....u tok tok u got chippa chik haa...

    me : what da ??????

  • Aunty Restaurant Menu

    Food : Fly rice , Beef Fly Rice

    Drinks : Flu Joos , Bandung

    SPECIAL (drinks only):COCK size:big , small , medium

    30 cents more 1 big COCK

    Party Set : Food how many then the COCK how many

  • For all those who are out there and think this video is about Singlish/Manglish: It is full of SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS! Rayzong, you should take a bucket of water and pour it over yourself: you stink and you are dirty! The auntie has no clue what you are USING her for! As you know, Ray, we have a saying in our part of the world: Kurang ajar, man!

  • my singaporian friend even laughs at this.

  • my singaporian friend even laughs at this

  • my singaporian friend even laughs at this

  • I cannot believe this. Lol.

  • we haf big cock... Haha made my day

  • I first saw this when I was in a skills upgrading class recently (Certified Service Professional), and I nearly died when the madam on the other side referred to Coke as "cock". XD

    And, it still does. Something inside me dies of laughter whenever I hear that.

  • Hey, at least she is trying to speak English, it is not an easy language to master. ^^! Kudos to her for trying^^!

  • tell the auntie to shut her ass up

  • Err...This is funny,but not so funny.

  • singlish doesnt kill the language it should be the english language

  • it may sound funny but I won't say this a typical singlish because obviously this auntie has little education, she was just trying her best to communicate with her English speaking customer within her ability.

    as for the educated person who speak singlish it's usually because they like to get their message across in the shortest possible way (some may say lazy) with the replacement of either Malay or some dialects words.

  • @jo0770 little education? i wanna kill when my professors speak like "o(b)JE(ct) orienTEEED", and he thinks he speaks british english. he is not f*cking speaking ENGLISHHHHHHH

  • first of all u must understand tat the auntie who was taking order has little education tat's why she can't speak/pronounce well but because we're a multi racial society usually those with little education hv to learn a little English so tat they are able to communicate with the other racial like Malay, Indian, Eurasian n westerners.

  • why do you call it singlish when we malaysian also speak that way (sometimes)

  • @matblurr01 That's because Singapore is more well known in the world than Malaysia, I think. Although Singaporean and Malaysian English pronounced so close and are of similar basics(British English+Malay dialects+Chinese dialects+Hindus), people only called it 'Singlish'...lol

  • It somehow sounded sooo fake to me...just like how fake muttons laughter are....hmmm i believe most of us have been to countless coffeshops but nvr once did i hear someone call it "cock"

  • big cock

  • my english teacher is also a singaporean , i think it's very cool and interesting to hear her sayingg SINGLISH , by the way , I don't really know why ever I speak some singlish to my english teacher in school ,she always scold me and detest me at all ( Taiwan ) , Singlish so funny , good joke~

  • RFLOL

  • rofl..

  • Singlish is not bad. It's different. Singlish is the normative mode of communication in Singapore just like RP is the norm (upper class) in London. It may lack some of the overt grammatical structure that "standard" English has, but that doesn't mean that Singlish lacks any of the expressive power of other languages. It's silly when people say it's bad... Is French a "bad" language because it doesn't use do-support like English does? No, it just has a different syntax.

  • lol its funny but poor English is bad. It should be discouraged for younger generations. A unique language is only unique if it was made independant. Not taking another language and just being LAZY to learn it right.

  • Hahahaha I have singaporian friends and I never ever understand what they are saying !!! That vid made me LOL

  • Lol,I am a Singaporean and I speak Singlish all the time when I'm at home and sch,but whenever I saw People making Singlish vid I always laugh out my ass!

  • oi, singlish is nice to use, that why singaporeans like to use it, and it is not retarded lor... unique

  • i like singlish, they r unique mah....

  • The sauce is weak!

  • Singlish Really Sucks! Its the Other Word for Poor English!

    it should be spelt as Tamglish! Not Singlish!

    Singaporeans wont use in that way , they speak much more fluent than us!

    Thumbs Up If You Agree !

  • gypsy accent(-_-")

  • singlish just a dark side of english! deal with it ppl

    if u speak a real english nobody just tell this is just not the right language and grammar

    even singlish ppl worse than elementary school in real english

    so get life with this singlish shit

    i dun even understand why they speak that way

    i think singaporeans ppl are educated ppl, so why they speak like a retarded moron like these????

    ths is just stupid u have to feel ashamed of this get a pronunciation and grammar class lesson first dude

  • im from china but now in malaysia.. same accent.. very easy to understand .. mix chinese..cotonese..malay..engl­ish.. !!! though u think u cannt understand them..but when u really hear this.. u can understand.. dont know why..

  • Singlish also caan lah ;)

  • #LOL

  • funny

  • I live in Singapore, and Singlish is one of the unique things about singapore, and anyway, this video is sooooo funny :D

  • wahahaha. cock. XDD

  • So Funny

  • pleeeeese i want some cock

  • I like this video! Very funny!

  • 0:18 old lady farting

  • This is how Malaysians speak English!!.. I was there for 4 years... :p

  • Singapore Main Lanuage Is Singlish !

  • 3 cocks for the price of one.. LMAO

  • Arghh..! I'm bad at this language...

  • Comment removed

  • Damn my school oso use so funny

  • hshshshhahahahahah big coc* meduim coc* big coc* hahaha

  • Im still waching this video ! its funny !

  • Singapore is a great place! I have some trouble understanding their language but it's no big deal

  • Damn shiok! Si bei funny one, lah!

    Singlish not difficult. Listen close understand. Speak also can...

  • 555

    +

  • Accept it, Singlish is what the Singaporean ended up as a reward for helping build the nation . Bad deal!

  • wow this one is funny to listen too :), listen this at least 2-3's a day,

    "30 cents more i give u big cock"!

    Stockholm,Sweden

  • sibei funny lah hahahah

  • Id say I laughed quite a lot, but I am all the way up for Singlish because I like how different countries speak a different English. How boring would it be if everybody spoke the same English?

  • ROFL THIS MADE MY TUMMY BURST OUT OF LAUGHTER.

  • oh man :))

  • Funny English!

  • The DJs laughter really made me laugh :))

  • @yhcjb Hi.. I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience in Singapore.. However, not all Singaporeans are ignorant, disrespectful etc. as what you had described... There are different types of people in each and every country, and so we shouldn't be labelled and categorised in such a way.. Maybe the people whom you met were mean to you.. but I hope you won't bear a grudge against Singaporeans because of that.. I wish you well..

  • @TiffanyWenhui Maybe he's just a person who attracts bad behaviour because he has an ugly face, you never know!

  • How come U want to elimanate singlish Joselyn?

    It's ur biggest pride...

  • Comment removed

  • I believe the auntie is speaking like that because she did not receive much education.. She probably picked up English through English conversations with her customers or fr e tele/ radio? It's ok to laugh, but it's not nice to insult her with words like 'stupid'. You are lucky u've got the opportunity to learn to speak English well.. But that doesn't mean you can look down on them.. Most aunties can speak dialect well.. Can you?

  • @TiffanyWenhui I can !

  • So did you ever called her back to confirm?

  • I LOVE SINGAPORE ENGLISH

  • cock hahahaha!!!!

  • haha so funny

  • one word destroys the whole conversation!!!

  • LOL! XDhahahahahahaha!

  • Coke become cock!!!!! How to drink melted chicken one?????

  • funniest part we also have soft drink like cock! sorry what drink is that? err...cock woo...medium cock also got, big cock also got, which one you want? also can..can..3 cock for a price of one i give you ah...you order enough i give you like that ah... i'll take that lah which one, small one you give me u get the meduim ah...30cents more i give you big cock 30 cents more for the big one ah? ok ya i think i need the big one, but is urs the real thing, nice to drink a not cant takeit
  • Gross~ Cock~ XD "Is urs the real thing?" Ahahaha~ Cant take it~ AHAHAHAHAH! ROFL! Its so damn sickkkkkk! *starts tearing* SO InTeNsE~ "Nice to drink?" A cock? Wow, never knew! :D

  • MY NAME IS EARL!

  • Hahahahahahahahahahaha...chick­en....cali???OMG

  • Comment removed

  • singlish is much much better than Chinglish

    I am not laughing for this video at least sg education is the best in Asie

    en wikipedia org wiki Singlish

  • @QWERTYUIOP12321234 you are comparing english-speaking country vs chinese-speaking country. so pathetic

  • he ordered the big cock didnt he

  • Singlish is an excuse for not being able to speak english properly. Studies show it is a genetic dysfunction.

  • @krayzai shut up...most of us know proper english as well as singlish

  • we also have soft drinks like "COCK" (laughs)

  • LOL BIG COCK this could be Daniel Ong the DJ

  • I'm from Hong Kong. I understood 90~80%

    Coke fruit? Seems that Singaporean waitress is not a native speaker of English, instead she speaks Chinese as her mother tongue. I met lots of Hong Kong people also carried that kinds of accent, usually they were came from mainlander immigrant (immigrant after 1970s is different from 1950s) family and studied in schools that use Chinese as teaching language

  • There are obviously different types of Singlish and this example is one of the lowest levels of Singlish as spoken by old Chinese uncles and aunties. English not their first language and they never learnt it in school, but to have picked up enough of it to communicate is quite something, I'd say. The only person I've heard saying "cock" instead of "coke" was the old canteen vendor in my primary school ... 30 years ago! :p

  • Fly rice. Beef fly rice. Flu joos. COCK.

  • @kennysham1 haha, i heard bee fly lice. XD

  • lol the auntie so funny

  • big

    big big

    big big BIG BIG

    BIG COCK!!!!! HAAHAAAHAHAHAHA ROFLMAO!!!

  • oh my god this is so fucking funny, I can't stop laughing. she said COCK!

  • I'll admit, when my Singaporian friend first moved here, I could not understand a word he was saying, though we were technically seaking the same language. But I soon got used to the accent (and it helped when I met a new Malasian friend). He does find humor in his country's accentand tells me to search Youtube for videos on Singlish.

  • isit bandong or sumting.itis kinda like a sweet drink. coconut if i m nt wrong?

  • what is the picture of over she said "we haf de flu joos"? its the pic of a glass of something pinkish with milky ness on top :O its at 0:57

  • @hkfan1980 its bandung (:

    its like rose syrup + water + milk

  • @hkfan1980 the "pinkish with milky ness on top" is actually bandung... i bet u not s'porean. lol

  • im singaporean and ive never heard someone mistake COCK for COKE.

    Auntie you will shock everyone liddat!!!

  • I'm sorry but I AM ENGLISH so I think I'm allowed to comment. Also I'm studying the language we all speak at Oxford Uni. Singlish is something to value because it makes you unique. You sound better than Americans and smarter that westcountry folk (which is, believe me a good thing) so long live singlish and its lovely english scrambling, chinese incorporating, melting pot brilliance. That is how English was born so well done and keep up the good work. P.S. Singapore is great

  • I really agree! Singlish makes Singapore unique, even though it is not easy to understand for non-english speakers like me, but you get used to it very fast.

    I know that the majority of all Singaporeans is very well able to speak good English, too. But don´t give up to keep your unique Singlish!

    A very-often-visitor to Singapore from Hanover, Germany

  • @slutwrecker I agree it makes Singapore unique in terms of culture but the education system has one aim, to get everyone in Singapore to speak proper English.

    By encouraging Singlish, you're bringing Singapore down in terms of matching up with other countries

    Other countries have lingos, but it does not deviate away from English as much as Singlish.

    We need to minimize this and Singaporeans need to know when is the right time to casually use Singlish and when to stop - A quality which we lack

  • @c1epard Singapore is not great. Have you ever been in Singapore? The ignorance, stupidity, lack of common sense and the benefit-driven nature of the society can absolutely easily crash down any foreigners. Their way of speaking English (especially the tone) drives me insane. It seems as if the majority of them have no respect to anybody.

    Additionally, have you ever heard of a Singlish-Chinglish hybrid? Just shoot me to the head!

  • @yhcjb You are really pathetic. Every country speaks differently. American English, British English, French English, Russian English, China English, Singapore English, etc - all have their own unique pronunciations and slang. Either you have not exposed enough to other forms of English or simply biased against Singapore's language. By the way, Mr Swedish, not all Singaporeans are bad. If Singaporeans and Singlish drive you insane, please STAY AWAY from this little country. Thank you.

  • @c1epard Nice Joke U said.

  • @c1epard singlish is stupid and spoils the beauty of the language ENGLISH

  • @c1epard Bias much? Lay off the hatorade bitch.

  • @c1epard Yeah Singlish is unique!

  • @c1epard fake id

  • @c1epard You're studying English at Oxford University yet your grammar is terrible. I think not.

  • BIG COCK MEDIUM COCK SMALL COCK

    like this if you agree its funny

  • The problem with these idiots is they expect EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this earth speak their god damn language. A lot of people don't even give a shit for learning English. Why? They can speak their own language. Isn't that enough? They learn English to communicate with dumb asses like these guys. So I don't see how they make fun of them. They should feel stupid that other countries can speak their language yet they can't understand shit when Singaporean (Chinese) talk shit about them.