Sick of being shy and quiet; Afraid to make a fool of oneself. What to do?

[NewYorkcookies4times]

i do try to open up a conversation but sometimes i feel like im annoying the person when i talk i feel uncomfortable and just a big fat fool when i stutter sometimes i find that i just naturally becme friends with certain ppl and they say that i dont seem outgoing until they talk to me and get to know me ....idk it sucks being shy

[Ash7038]

i really like this video...

[ha1ly529]

thanks i think this will help

[NextGenGamer115]

This didn't help me at all, I'm sorry :/

[ad56ful]

wow!! u just answered my question!! i was always really shy to talk to people n had no friends!! i started to talk to people n i am making progress!! this vid actually helped me even more!

[peekabooiseeyou64]

I want to thank-you for these videos. I am a person who is so damned quiet it totally depresses me. If I have a topic to talk about I am fine. But, if I don't then I am quiet as a clam. It is embarrassing. I am 47 yrs. old. I have gotten better over the years, but I still have problems. I appreciate these videos because it makes me not feel so stupid. Please keep these coming because they are helping people alot. You are a great lady. Thank-you

[MrKirbinio]

im joking ;D

[MrKirbinio]

jajajajaj u guys are shy jajajajaja

[ffgirl429]

its not that im sick of being quiet and shy but its hard for me to express my self among others......evryone says i dont talk a lot but wen im with my bestest friends and with my family im different bcuz they know soo much bout me,wat my interests are and wat im capable of.....and i only talk wen i hav to and if i hav somthin to say

[EverithingGoesWrong]

and what if i am not afraid to talk i just have nothing to say, i began to think what to say and there is nothing in my head?

[Animegirl933]

We all know this is how we should think but this is all easier said than done

[Jaymee2225]

life saver

[mysteriousgal124]

thanks for this

[mysteriousgal124]

im quiet and still am for like 2 yrs now amnd tons of kids have being givin me greif because of that and i have to ttake up so much abuse/manipulation because of that cuz i dont talk

i want to change now for the better but im afraid because its not what im used to or what their used to seeing of me atall pplus i dont want to be seen as weak and a coward cuz am COMPLETLY DIFFERENT AT HOME

cuz thats my comfort zone AND noone understands me

[violetshadez]

@Softytouch101 same here I thpught for a long time it was cuz I was ugly so now I am starting to lose weight but I also work in a racist place where its difficult so I also know its not my fault that people are judging me based on my looks and race but there is another asian there and he gets on quiet well which kills me inside cuz then I think well what the hell is wrong with me then? sometime I wish I had a really social and good looking mother and father and then maybe Id be like that too

[enchanted9789]

@chermia97 OMG u are totally like me i hav like 1 fren in de whole class and we dont even talk tat much i cnt hear ppl vry well so when they say hi or wut i would jus walk past and they tink im stuck up.Once in the toilet,tis realy nice girl tried 2 make frens wif me she said hi and i didnt hear,in the end she shoulted hello?!i said HI.I oni stammered i feebly..So much 4 making a fren D:

[fdafsdfasgs]

This is such a great issue, people are afraid of what others might think of them, i've had this problem with myself to. And i really want say fuck you, to all of those who uses this "weakness" of shyness some people have, to bully them..

[chermia97]

@Softytouch101

well ur even lucky you have FRIENDS. if they're your friends then u trust them right? and u can just go open up to them and have someone to hang out with, they'll understand u... and ur even different at home, so that's even better! u only have to show that real personality of urs, starting with ur friends!

well me, i don't have any of those =.= so see, i'm worse.

i don't know what the heck should i do to start being NOT SHY.

[Svetlana150]

Easy to say, hard to do...

[MrKirbinio]

@Svetlana150  if its easy to say then say somthing lol

[youngaginstrumentals]

i dont even think she likes me... how can i change that?

[27KidDark]

Thank you for this advise you are a saint . I really appreciated what you do for youtube veiwers x

[Time4Talking]

If you like the advice from this video...you might like my channel. I love this person because she always has great advice. She's always there for you like a mother to comfort you. I'm dedicated to make you successful, just like she is (by giving advice). Although I give a different perspective on a lot of issues. I'm someone who is/was really shy and quiet. Visit my channel. Thanks! Please support me.

[callofdutywatcher]

this helped me alot on my school presentation lol

[MrBandicoot91]

U should be my mum, your advice is great lol .. thank you

[nirvana91s]

Im very shy, and want to start talking to people, although I hate my voice..a lot. I have a very distinct voice, and somewhat a lisp, which is really embarassing. What can I do to overcome it?

[chermia97]

@nirvana91s

you're lucky to have a distinct voice..

me, it's really annoying the heck out of me when i speak and no one hears, i shout and no one still hears! when i call, talk, ask people, they don't respond, they turn their backs on me, or they say "Again?" because they don't freakin understand/hear what i said! and it is embarrassing especially when other people see!

i have a very soft blending voice that when i speak, it blends with the environment, it's always like that :( =.=

[chermia97]

@nirvana91s

i have to like, poke them to death so they'll notice me

and besides that, i always stammer when i speak even though i was running for honors at class and it's so stupid and funny and plain embarrassment for me

so, just be thankful for what you have

be content, some people don't have what you don't have

we can't just have everything :)

for the lisp, you can practice practice practice to remove it

[dixieSTARLET]

UR AMAZING THANKS FOR ADVICE!!!! :) I SUB U!!

and all those things u said in this video is about me, im afraid that they think im an idiot when i talk... but my friends said i talk alot with them

[wearehumansbaby]

So here is my problem . I was new in my high school this year and i didn't get too many friends because i was really shy to talk to people i didn't want to make myself a fool and didn't want to get noticed butin the end of this year i've just noticed that i was a complete idiot . So please could you help me to be more confident and show me tips to talk to people and make new friends ? Please , i don't want next year to be like this year . :(

[etkevin]

i thought i was alone but i see there are other people like me im really shy n i feel really lonely all the time i stay in home alot cuz i dont really have friends i have some people to say hi to but that it n when i try to talk to people they think im weird n i feel sutpid n embarrassed i scare to be with a lot of people cuz i have this problem where i feel like im always being watch all the time pllzz help

[chermia97]

@etkevin

don't u think it's somehow like paranoia?

well my case getting there

when people near me or i know suddenly whispers to each other and laughs and somehow had a glance of me, i thought it's all about me and that they're laughing at me for some unknown reason due to what happened in the past which left me a traumatic impact..

i have only 1 friend at class and they're already my classmates for 2 years now but i still haven't really talked to them

ur not alone :)

[cutesugerfree]

i like you :/

[qwexas]

I have a question, who can advise? People think I'm shy, even though I'm not, and I don't want people to think I'm not confidant. The reason they think I'm shy is because I don't want to talk to them because they're not interesting. People think that since I don't jump into their discussion of stupid crap I don't care about, I must be shy.

[ztbsk8er]

@qwexas "I don't want people to think I'm not confidant". There is your problem. You are worrying what people think. You are also saying what they are thinking when you really don't know. Just stop caring and trying to figure out what people are thinking of you.

[qwexas]

@ztbsk8er If people perceive confidence, they give more respect, listen more to someone's input, etc. It's not for self-validation, it's for tangible things. People who appear to be confident are treated differently. I'm curious to experience being perceived as a confident person. So, I don't want to change how I feel or think, I want to change how OTHERS feel or think. Can you tell me how to do that?

[ztbsk8er]

@qwexas You said that people think your shy because you don't talk to them but you don't think they are interesting. If they aren't interesting why would you care if they find you confident or not. I think your problem is that you may be slightly shy at starting up conversation with people you don't know. That's how I am. When people get to know me, I'm pretty funny and outgoing but I find it hard to talk with strangers. I think that you just need to put yourself out there and act interested.

[qwexas]

@ztbsk8er Sometimes I approach a stranger and start a conversation, no problem, very little hesitation. It has NOTHING to do with being shy. But most people, I don't want to get to know them any better than that, no desire to get closer. Some of the more outgoing people, I find irritating, and don't want to be around them. I can be funny and witty sometimes, but I get bored with most people. When people try to start a conversation, I'm not enthusiastic, prefer solitude, so they think I'm shy.

[jhudielpeco]

Thanks!... this really helps... I totally agree that they dont enjoy life...

[ChristopherAngelies]

Dude, are you a cousler online or something ? you sound like a counsler..

[yagiiiirl]

this video was specially made for me.

[PinoyBrownBoy]

maybe your all wrong,, maybe its, that they cant seem to think of the next thing to say or ask. no thoughts come up.. not even when you look for hints.. nothing comes up in the brain..

[DarthMessias]

No...No...No!

People will notice if you make a fool of yourself. They will laugh at you. Maybe they won't spend the rest of their day talking about your mistake but they might comment on it and that is enough for anyone to feel silly and stupid.

[mariedubuque]

14sjakeB--It would be good if you did say the wrong thing one time, and then you will realize that it is ok! And nobody will care. They will still talk to you, and it really won't matter. Don't be afraid to make a mistake. We all do. It really is ok. You've got to just try to have fun and enjoy life. You can do it.

[14sJakeB190]

That's my exact problem. I want to be perfect in every way. So I don't say anything, or do anything unless I'm 99.99% to 100% sure that what I say is correct.

I don't know what would happen if I messed up saying something in front of someone because I never did it. But I can only imagine it wouldn't be good.

I thought about suicide because I failed a test once. I wish I could stop caring so much about everything. 

[KrazieSkillz]

Being shy is a persononality

[mariedubuque]

Rico--Tell me what the problem is I will try to help.

[Rico412]

i need help

[mariedubuque]

Lovernutella--It's hard when you are trying to join a group that is already formed. They have these little inside jokes and all that. You will fit in. It just takes time. If you can't think of what to say, ask questions. Ask more about something that was just said. For instance, if someone is talking about a certain movie, say, "who was in it?" Or where is it playing? Anything you can think of to ask. It makes you sound interested, and it's a good start.

[mariedubuque]

goarmy--You sound like you are too worried about what they think, so you are afraid to talk. I know this is hard, but start talking to these people, and whatever they want to say about you, so what. Go ahead and let them get to know the real you, even if you think you'll make a fool of yoursef (you won't) and just have fun. You won't be with these 35 people for all that long. You'll all go in different dirrections eventually anyway. So for now, just talk, make the best of it and study hard!

[Lovernutella]

@mariedubuque But see thats The thing im always trying to find something to say and i cant!!! i envy all this people who can talk they know what to say! but me im like what to say what to say?? or they have these joking around playful kind of thing That i dont have! Im not super shy around shy ppl but when they r outgoing ppl i panick

[goarmy979]

i go to a school with like 35 kids and they all think im weird becouse i never talk how do you change that

[xxLilJXxX]

thanx for the motivation!! :)

[raekmar]

Wow I could use you as a counselor!

[mariedubuque]

Loveyourwhiteshoes--you can do it!

[loveyourwhiteshoes]

Yes... so I tried this lately... since I have the same problem.... but for some reason, I get hurt a lot too now.... but maybe I need to learn how to deal with that.. ? Cause I might shut up forever....

[smokedeganja]

pop some mdma or do a lil line of cocaine lol

[ryguy2598]

so much about what other people think of me or worrying about being judged. It doesn't matter what others think.....what matters is my own happiness. And if people don't like me for me then that's their problem....I'm not going to let it bother me.

[ryguy2598]

This is all a mental game.......most people are shy because of the way they think......Too many negative thoughts. Like for example, a comment I read down there, someone thinks they're ugly. Well if you think you're ugly then that's going to affect the way you act and it will hurt your self esteem. I've been shy for a longtime and now I'm really starting to change the way I think. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones and having a better attitude towards things. I'm sick of caring >

[e1kie]

actually people are so retarded nowadays people do obsess all day about something you said and they make fun of you all the time and then you feel like killling yourself...

[TalonWolf]

@e1kie You're hanging out with the wrong people. That said, now and again you'll meet some douche who thinks every possible - and even insignificant - detail of your life deserves scrutiny. In which case, give them the finger, laugh at them, and get on with your life.

[VenusCrescentBeam]

Yeah...I always feel like since I don't talk much, that my connection to people isn't as great as I want it to be. I usually start the conversation, but I just want someone else to do it for once; so that I feel like I'm an important enough part of their lives that they initiate the convo. Sometimes I dunno what people are talking about, so I guess I should brush up on that...

Hm...I guess that maybe the other person wants to be friends with me as much as I do with them...THANKS.

[QuoGirl]

@VenusCrescentBeam I get this a lot. Well, actually I find that this happens to me when I feel like talking to certain people who I dont normally talk to and sometimes they just walk away from me. I try not to feel bad about it but sometimes I do because the effort I'm making feel like it's in vain. But then when I think about the efforts I'm making to befriend others, I think about how much effort I'm making to become a better person. If I want to get over my shyness, then I gotta do this.

[carly99992]

OMG U JUST ...... U R SOOOOO AMAZING THANK YOU SOOO MUCH AND U R RIGHT I AM MISS OUT IN LIFE THANK YOU U JUST MADE ME RELIZE THAT

[mariedubuque]

Dezireex097--You're not! You're just not meeting the right people. Not everyone is compatible with everyone. So, sit back and listen, and find out what they are interested in, and then ask questions based on that. Or chime in with something similar that you experienced, or that happened to you.

[Dezireex097]

i talk to people and try to build conversations like you say giving complements and all that stuff, but it seems like no one likes me! i try to be friendly and outgoing but no one else puts forth and effort about talking about things and i seriously feel like we r playing 21 questons and im the one asking the questions. i feel like i am boring

[mandy222434]

@Dezireex097 i feel the same way in my first block i have like three friends but the rest of the girls either ignore me when i talk to them or just give me a one word answer

[edgehead19]

GOOD STUFF, I used to be shy around ppl and i would only have couple good friends to talk to and now I'm breaking out of it, I have a lot of friends and confidence and boy talk about girls that are approach me.

[mariedubuque]

ChristopherD1991--Please, see a really good therapist in your area. Also, the fact that people tell you that you "are not remotely ugly" is a really positive! Because they won't hesitate to tell you something negative. You've got to build yourself up in your head, because you know you have a lot to offer.  And remember, it's great to be quiet and thoughtful, no matter what anyone says.

[ChristopherD1991]

A continuation on what I previously mentioned. Most of the time I feel so overwhelmed with school and work/ social life/ trying to get a girlfriend, that I don't feel like I can accomplish anything. I get really depressed and then I become so quiet that it goes for hours at a time with me not saying/ or even making a single sound. When this happens and I'm around my small group of friends, they'll turn around and say "you alright?, you havnt said anything in 5 hours." i just want to kill myself.

[ChristopherD1991]

Hello, so I have the shyness problem myself.. and it's pretty bad. I try to be outgoing and talk more to others but like others have said "I can't think of anything to say". This is just one of my problems. Sounding like a fool is a small portion of it though, the majority of the time I feel like "I'm ugly" This person could careless about what I have to say, and is laughing in their heads on how I look. Lots of people tell me I'm not even remotely ugly but I can't seem to think that way. =/

[DoubleMenu]

Aww thank you i love you and god bless you

[BethuneGal]

Wowyy this is really quite helpful thanks a lot :)

[saragirl971]

B who u wanna b, B A R B I E

lol great vids

[iLikeThurtles]

I am sooo shy, i hate myself for it. But when I'm about to say something i get worked up and i can even feel my heart pound, i mean it's just another person.Thankyou for this video, i'll try haha.

[OujdianBaron]

I wish u could be my Aunt :(

I have my mum who talks just like u but my dad is like "Fuck u're too shy u're not a man" one who supports + one who makes u unconfident is making u turnin on cercles

Anyways I'm lifeless enough and I really should review all of your clips cuz I'm beginning to think they're the most helpin things on utube ever... thnx

[enigma887]

thank you so so much

[FASTMOVINGBROOK]

that person sayed somthing stupid they must be retarded lets go piss on them! yeah!

[gossipgi]

@FASTMOVINGBROOK lol what a jackass

[FASTMOVINGBROOK]

@gossipgi ITS A METAPHOR obviously your the disrespecting one in your society. piss on me all you'd like.. i doubt you'll feel any better because you really need to have your BM. good luck with that.

[gossipgi]

@FASTMOVINGBROOK umm why do u get so excited to answer lollolol well i really thought u were one of those people who were bullies and why would u come to the conclusion that iam the disrespecting one in my society and wtf is a BM i like to have fun and chill out and if someone get bothered i like to defend them so thats why i called u a jackass.

[FASTMOVINGBROOK]

@gossipgi hahahaha your funny!!!! i'm sure you get by fine in your life. but i do think you care a little too much about things. oh and BM means Bowel Movement.

best be with you

[ferdino100]

thanks for the tip..well I felt rude the other day when I was sitting at a bench waiting to get picked up from school and this girl came and sat next to me, well in my mind I was like ''say something '' but I couldn't think of anything and she left :( BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF.. yes this was my case too..I think being a little shy is natural but not too much because like you said '' you will miss out in life '' and it's true !

[ludvign11]

@ferdino100 I'm so glad the only problem is that I'm shy. Because that is a path I can improve, it's a script that I've made that I want to rescript and guess what it is so possible! I have improved it really much now. My fear has motivated me so much, I were not only shy but had big social phobia and i hate it so much i just fuck it and go for it sometimes, I'm really improving. If you read books like eckart tolles, it is most likely that it will help u

[ferdino100]

@ludvign11 thank you it's been almost a year since I posted this haha..well I have improved know just that I still have one problem...

[ludvign11]

@ferdino100 whats that

[dixieSTARLET]

@ferdino100 i feel the same with u, that happened to me alot :(

[ferdino100]

@dixieSTARLET well I'm not as shy as I used to....you just have to break out of your shell and be who you really are :) ciao !!

[cookiemonsterari1]

your amazing thank u

[786xHx786]

"they dont even care about what you say"...errrr.... yeah nice one that makes me feel a whole lot better :|

[xL0V33x]

@786xHx786

It`s not how you think it is

I mean you don`t really care about smalltalk either right ?

It`s just the thirst part thats not that interessring but if the person knows you a bit bether than ;)

[jeh0193]

Yup, this is me.

[RapIsDeadly]

What if:

I really can't stand most people

I find most people are asshats

I find small talk annoying

Being shy and being quiet are two different things.

[bamfreak246owns]

well hell, this is mainly my problem but i just cant find anything to talk about..

[1StTubeYou]

@bamfreak246owns Then we are two. :( It´s very sad...

[gossipgi]

@bamfreak246owns me too lol my mind just goes blank

[vvvvvvvvvvictor]

@bamfreak246owns i agreee same

[strongyang]

I've got no friend to talk to, I don't know what to say to people, and having a cultural shock(can't adjust well with the locals and the environment, it's hot), and I'm 19. So what should I do, go back to the States which I really want to but can't(got school). So I just stuck here with no friend for the next 5 yrs. God sustains me..;)