Shalom, Freckles. I suggest you write down a list of what you want your husband to be in vivid detail leaving nothing. Of course, no man is ever going to fit the entire list unless your standards are really low. It's like the book of the Prophet Habbakkuk 2:2 "Write the vision down [on stone tablets] and make it plain so that a man may run with it". I pray angels on assignment on your behalf in JESUS' Name. Also, don't look for him; he will find you.
Interesting video post..... Be at ease with yourself and the rest will follow. 8-)
A book that I would suggest to check out is "Moments of Grace" by Patrice Gaines.
She is a very grounded author and there are some insights that you speak of in her book. NOTE: This is not a selfhelp book but the story of her her journey as a Black Woman. I have read it 3 times or more and it has always given me some insight into my own Soul.
This is from a Black Man's perspective. Enjoy Peace & Life.
sounds like a dilema.. hard these days.. too much outside cultural infiltration that counters our natures.. we cant get along with us mostly because we dont know who us is.. blackpeople caught in the european paradigm need to be exercised of the caucasian influences in order to regain a balance and refind ourselves.. blessings in your search.. try going to afrika for a while.. blackpower sis
I hope your relationship status is working better now. You seem like a great person to be around. Question: dating outside of your race? If I may be so bold... what is your race? You look mixed to me... which means you have the best of both worlds. I, being a white man dating a black woman for 12 years and very happy would hope that you find the person who makes you the happiest.
I hope you choose to ignore the "your standards are too high comments" that's a load of bologna. Have you ever heard anyone say to a man that his standards are too high or to a non black woman? I haven't and I fail to understand this notion that BW shouldn't seek out the absolute best possible partner. My advice is to keep your mind and options open and seek out the best regardless of skin color. All the best to you
there are tons of bm right here on youtube that are telling you what it takes to get them and bw are busy arguing against them instead of trying to work with them and understand what a womans role should be. single bw are pumping each other up for failure. your first line of action should be is to stop listening to the women and start listening to these men if they are who you claim to want.
@cedpoet women of other races dont have bad attitudes and dont consider their careers to be their selling points. bw refuse to listen to what bm are saying they want and instead of listening and taking heed they are telling them they are wrong and trying to make bm want what they think he should want. until bw start to listen they will forever be single. stop cosigning each other and listen to bm if that is who you claim you want. its basic commen sense.
this isnt really an issue. if you like a white guy date one if you like a black guy, date one if you like an asian guy, date one. not all black/white/asian etc guy are the same
i dont understand why someone who is single always got to be looked at as having high standards. make it sound like she should take what she can get and deal with it.
@freckles2720 Only those who have nothing offer and only want to control a woman are the ones pointing the finger. They always say "quit picking bums" and I always say "stop raising them to be bums & quit running from your responsibility". Alot of black men don't understand partnership.
Have you ever lost something and searched EVERYWHERE for it and it just was nowhere to be found? Then...one day, when that thing was not even on your mind, you happen to stumble upon it? I think that may be a law of life. If we just relax and trust God with our lives, what we are looking for will come to us. Your Creator knows the desires of your heart. I would recommend that you find your security in Him and let all things that are for you to come to you themselves. Peace and Blessings!
Sorry to learn that it did not work out. You made the grown woman decision that it was not going to work out. We should never have to compromise fundamentals of a relationship just to be IN a relationship. You knew what you wanted and weren't afraid to make a choice. Good for you.
Keep the faith. Love is love no matter where you find it!
Just stopping by to check on you. Sorry to hear that it did not work out but seems like you made the right decision. If there is doubt, don't do it. Ever. Never give up your desires. Keep searching. He will come.
@kurlycurls - Wow! Look around you - if you're a black woman, you should know the shortage. You should also know society has had a major part in the failure of not respecting, mentoring, properly educating, etc our brothers. I understand the plight of the situation but do not feel one should use it as an excuse for being a mature 40+ year old to be trifling. I honor my success and my good naturedness - if that is intimidating then again, wow. Let me 'aks' you this, why don't you have an vids?
My stepfather is German. I have traveled ALL over the world. Black women should not limit themselves or SETTLE. A man is a man (physically at least LOL). I lived in Italy for 4 years. There is NOTHING wrong with expanding your horizons. I think as black women we are scared of something different. Where that comes from I dont know, but we need to stop limiting ourselves, because you can miss out on a lot. BTW, my honey is Sicilian and spoils me crazy and I feel loved..
i understand your point a 45 - 50 year old man should be settled! still job hopping and working a menial job at 50 is not a good sign of maturity. don't be afraid to open your heart to a man of other races. the decision to date someone should be based on his character and not his skin tone.
them. case and point in the medical field i RARELY SEE BLACK MEN AS NURSES AND DOCTORS? i can count black males ratio to be slim to none. i dont want someone that is a garbage man, i dont want someone that dosent have a career! it sucks!i want to have a child and get married before im 30
@selahmami - I hear your pain and angst. It appears you got and understood the message to take care of you first so you can bring not just love, understanding but you are bringing goals. You get what I am trying to convey thru my Husband series vids. It's not that I am looking for the millionaire with the 'right' zip-code. I am seeking someone with goals who is enacting and building towards a future.
hi freckles..i love this post. im 26 and im an RN working on furthering my career. i have dated around went around social circles different areas,cities. and yes i understand. i have saw that alot of black men dont have it together..its always that they need a woman to motivate them or they have baggage,lots of kids..and/or marriage aint a option for them. a indian man that is a doctor has invited me out and im going..i cant keep waiting, and i have to have someone that has goals and achieves
It''s good for you to look to marry a non-black man... Black women generally are NOT the best choice for the Black man for many reasons... Latina, Puerto Rican, and White females are much better suited for what a black man needs in a real woman and wife.
yes i dont know its hard because i try to not be judgmental or stereotype but i dont want a man taht NEEDS a woman to uplift him or help him out, like i got mine he should have his..and esp in the medical field i dont SEE them! so this indian guy may be a geek, virgin etc..but he is very smart, goal oriented, no children, wants marriage and he dates for a purpose! im excited. im gong to a family dinner of his this weekend.
I agree with you... And no man should EVER be with a Black woman that NEEDS him to help her out... Grown black women need to stand on their OWN 2 feet ... Black women should never expect any emotional uplifting from any man.
First off, sorry things didn't work out. I was happy that you reunited with a person from your past. Point blank and in all honesty Freckles, the ratio is too much in our (black males) favor these days. I told my sis this and explained it like this. 1st, most of male competition are R I P or in jail. 2nd, too many easy women out here for brothers to have so no need to settle down. 3rd, we still have that myth attach to us that gives us this false sense of arrogance (stressing myth). etc....
@hoodgyno - I'm not sorry it did not work out. It would have been a disaster. I am glad I realized that fast! You are correct about ratio. Many of our brothers are not available for one reason or another and I mean the ones who are actually being productive in a honest and respectful manner.
Dawlin, i have strayed to the other races(ie. white,latino) just got out of 2nd marriage exact reason ustated - he 42yrs old was statisfied with going NOWHERE in his 'career' (car sales-haha)now i am looking at an old ex - 20yrs plus - who is upset that i ddnt wait until he was ready, i got married 2x to other ppl. well, he is still undcded- aftr 20+ years! i give up on brothers - i am ambitious, careerminded (i am a contract analyst for a major healthcare corp) mom of one- looking for love...
Also (since I am a natural sista like you) you would find that men of other races would find your natural hair to be very attractive. I know that feelings on natural hair are still mixed/varied in the Black community but for the most part, other races are ignorant to this(thankfully). I say this so you don't start second guessing yourself/giving in to the Euro-centric mentality esp if you are considering dating outside of your race. I find that even more liberating :-)
I agree with you completely... I think that all black women generally should be with white men and Black men should be with white females and other non-black women... It's just a better fit for so many reasons.
Its a better fit because Black women generally have an attitude of contempt and disrespect towards Black men, but not so with White men With white men, black women will go out of their way to please him, cater to him, and try to win his acceptance and approval,,, not so with black men.
Its usually easier for a Black man find love, acceptance, and Respect with a White, Latina, Puerto Rican, or other non-black woman, than with a black woman.
@MsCaribbeanChick- I feel you on this about dating outside of one's race. There will be seperate issues and sensitivity should be engaged. My sister married outside of her race and there are sensitive isues that both she and her husband handle. They have been married for 19 years and counting.
All relationships have challenges/issues that require sensitivity, no relationship is free from trials. With inter-racial relationships some trials will pertain to race, that is to be expected esp. in America that is still obsessed with race. Talk to your sister, gain some insight from her on what to expect. It's wonderful that you have her example to emulate!! Use it!! Then see the world of men with new eyes that discern based on character and not color. You should be excited about that..
Similarly, if you found a (insert whichever race here) man, who was culturally sensitive to Blacks and viewed them in a positive light, wouldn't that negate the race issue? I am talking from personal experience. I have dated and will continue to date outside of my race as a Black woman. People are people and it's character and values that determine the success of a relationship, not the hue of one's skin...
YES, you should look outside of your race. Firstly, to insist that you can/cannot date someone because of their race, is a racist theory, plain and simple. I would then advise that when you do date someone outside of your race, assess how culturally sensitive they are to Black/African American culture because THAT'S what is important. Follow me for a minute, if you found a Black man that was self-loathing and condescending of Blacks, you would be disgusted...
Regarding the ethnicity of whomever you date, dont allow yourself to feel pressured in any direction. If you truly prefer a BM, go for that. However, if it is more a habit than an actual preference, then you should consider other ethnicities of men. Either way, you will have to go through the same process for any variety of man, learning how compatible you are, including your values (religion/moral structure) and your goals. Good luck!
I can't believe some of the nasty comments here. WTF? Freckles seems too nice for that. I am no relationship authority, especially with my bad track record in that area. But I do believe a common mistake both men and women make is that they rush into getting serious prematurely. Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for. So it is best to learn as much about each other, including compatibility, before taking it to the next step.
@GentlemanAmerican - yes, I am a nice person. Yeah, I've been reading the comments and it's like some of the commenters feel like I don't know the basics of me and what I seek. Yes, I am guilty of that good ole feeling of a new relationship and go from 0 to 50 in a hot sec. One person asked do I know the type of person I seek - well, yeah. A truthful, honest, hard-working, good values, someone I can be proud of, not a slob, respectful of me and has my back. All of which I will give freely to him
@GentlemanAmerican- cont. If he is a dad to have been in his kids life and be a father to them. I know he's out there and there is one character flaw I need to work out which is listen to that alarm bell go off earlier in a budding relationship. I have a tendency to want to 'rescue' them and then I ask myself 'what happened'.
This may not relate to u, but here is something on a side note.
I feel many black women make the wrong choice in men. Good men are all around u. Here is something funny. I went to a club with my boy who is married. 5 min in, this chick walked up to him. they are seeing each other now. I wonder, if she knew he was married and that I wasnt, would something diff have happened? Not jealous, just a funny thing when it comes to choices.
@freckles2720 I think you meant to direct ur comment at me:mrmakemusicmike. It's been since mid february. And she wants it everyday. Also, he slipped up in went raw!
Men are on a marriage strike,because 90% of divorces are initiated by women. And a man can get fleesed during a divorce & I hate to break it to you,women your age. Will not garner much male attention,you should of married in your 20s if you could. Men don't want older women!
Number 1 cougarhood will never be mainstream,due to biological realities of men & women. Number 2 sex & the city is a fairy tale one desighned by women,& can be very misleading. Number 3 you have to look young in order to be a cougar. And you don't,sorry to break it to you.
So, as you commented since I am middle aged I should have to deal with the cards I was dealt. That sounds like a load of crap to me. Giving up on my goals is not an option. Ever.
The brotha's do have a "plan",,, and the plan is to Not be with any woman who is not offering UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
All this about what he has and where he is at a certain stage in life is NOT about loving the PERSON... And without unconditional love for the person himself, regardless of where he is in life, the relationahip will not last.
Circumstances change for better and for worse,,, but LOVE never fails.
@VAIO294 - You and I never agree nor see I-I. If I see green you see beige. Unconditional love comes 'for me' with respect. The brotha I was dating had values which were not acceptable to me. They were point blank wrong. Trust on that - they were wrong. And unconditional love stopped. 1
You didn't say in your vid the brotha was some type of "valueless", immoral person.. I thought you mentioned he was trying to have GOD in his life?
Is this a case that he just doesn't place the same value of materialism and money as you, and because of that you can't "respect" him?
Even GOD doesn't meet your expectations.. NO MAN, black or white, is going to be exactly what you want him to be.. You LOVE a person for who they are, a HUMAN BEING, just as YOU want the same.
do you know what the type of men you looking for want in a woman? do you know what attracts the type of men your looking for? you know what you want. you havent found that. but do you know what the type of men you want wants? and can you deliver that. can you attract that? look forward to your response.
@imsatindoll - yes, I do know what type of man I want. On the physical I would hope he is able or at least willing to learn how to be handy around the house with fixing/repairng things. I would prefer @ my age him to have lived and be at home-owner, condo owner, his name on his rental and not living in his momma's basement. If he is a father to been in his child(s) life. His child(s) have much respect for him and vice versa. Please let this man have a sense of humor - please! cont.
A responsible person, takes care of his bills, take care of himself both mentally and physically. Supportive of me and my goals which include him. Has to get along with my fam. Must like cats - I have two and they are staying.
What I have found are men who are a 'mess'. The appearance at first is 'well, I just hit a rough patch now'. I have been told, while at Juniors restaurant ( a budget friendly place) go ahead and order your dinner but dont order dessert. What! The list goes on & on. Cont.
@imsatindoll. Another thing I do not like slobs. Please understand this I get men and women decorate/fix-up their homes in different fashions. But to be a slob and leave pots, dishes, pans, sitting around smelling and growing mold - really? Also, being sad or just having a rough day its ok - I'm all for being your cheerleader or if you want some time to yourself - hey I can understand but when it becomes moody and uncomfortable- really?
Oh, I mentioned supportive of my goals I will support his.
LOL I understand. however all of that you described was what YOU want in a man. which is important! however what I wanted to know was if you knew what that type of man you just described wants in a woman. for example if you want a handy man who is finanacially stable & well put together....do you know what that handy financiaally stable well put together man wants from a woman. what does that type want from you? what does he find attractive? do you know that & can you deliver it?
I am not as concerned with him pampering himself in the mirror and taking days to get ready. I do like him to be conscious of what is fashionable but not consumed by it. I like him to be groomed and know when it's time for a haircut etc. I hate slobs - just hate em. Yes, I like a man who is handy and doesnt mind getting dirty fixing things. If he has ok credit thats ok as long as he is trying to build up his credit. Yes, I can deliver the goods.
reason I asked is because when it comes to women being single there is always more to it than what is being told. from your standpoint you dont see what you want. its either because where you go he is just not there or he is there and not approaching you. either way you not getting what you want. and alot of women dont think about the "not attracting him" part. because we as women more than likely are not the approachers we only go by who comes our way and when what we dont want is all that does
-continuation- we assume "oh he is nowhere to be found" but never think that he is out there but there MAY be something about me that is turning that type of guy off. as women we never look at it from a mans standpoint of what do men want. we know very well what we want from our men but never the other way around. we never think about ok what is he looking for and our we delivering it??? so I am curious to know what do YOU think your dream guy wants in a woman?
@imsatindoll - I think my dream guy will want to be left alone or want me to watch football. I can't stand the game. I'll watch superbowl. I hope he wants and appreciates my home bodyness, keeps a clean home, cool with my fam, cool w my neighbors, likes I am computer literate and likes to talk with my man about meanigful stuff and sill stuff. Loves my natural hair and does not want me to 'fit' in with weaves, wigs or relaxer. All that you write I am aware the pickings are slim in my age range
@imsatindoll cont. Alot of the men who entered marriage or commited relationships in their 20's are now divorced. Trust on this there are alot in my age range even with the pickings being slim. I checked your vids and appreciate your views. There are some items you will see as you move thru the decades of your life that you can not possibly relate to unless you live them.
I understand that my views on the whole age thing that alot of women may disagree with. and thats fine. at this point we cant really focus on age because lets face it. we cant go back in time. however I do think many factors apply to even the older women who want to date including knowing what men want and being able to deliver it within reason of course......
Age does play a factor in the choice of a mate one chooses. There are value systems I had in my twenties that are different and the expectations as we move thru the decades also changes. I am not looking to go back in time. I do understand what men want - let me ask you this do you?
what I mean by focusing on age is that we cant focus on what happened in your twenties because your not twenty anymore. what good does that do you now? to answer your question...I do think men prefer women who are feminin, look good, keep a good reputation, who are positive and fun loving, no drama, not condescening, not arrogant about their success, not total airheads lol, not overbearing, not timid about sex, not too much of a boring person, respectful of leadership, supportive, I can go on...
my video concerning single factors was just explaining what happens when prime years are not taken advantage of. I really didnt bring anything about age up to you because I do feel at this point that its irrelevant. you cant go back and undo it. your in your thirtiers, forties, whatever age so you have to look at the now. I do think there are things that should be taken into account when it comes to women finding the guy they want. and I do believe location and attraction plays a big part.
again you say you are not finding what you want. and again its either they are not there OR they are there and not noticing or liking you. so that tells me that its either a location issue or an attraction issue. I just want women who hope to find the guy they want to look at it as proactively as they can and not have a mindset of "oh nothing I can do" type of mentality. I feel like alot of things is not being considered when I hear women say they cant find what they want.
I do hope I am making sense in what I am trying to say. whether you want a black man or white man...makes me no difference. you still have to locate the type of man you want and once you locate him he would still need to be attracted to you before you too can get to know each other, establish a relationship, fall in love, and get married. location and attraction are two factors that need to be addressed concerning finding your dream guy. but thats just my logic & opinion, im no expert or doc...
Afreequeen is right. Cheating is a character defect and it isn't limited to Black men. I didn't find the woman of my dreams until I moved out of the Greater Los Angeles Area. You might have to look beyond your general area in order to find love.
Black women seem to think dating White will answer all your problems. But you realize that dating WHite will open a another set of problems that may even be harder to deal with than a Black man not having a plan. Like racism. The stares, and also do you really think the majority of the top of the line White dudes really like Black women enough to marry them?
Date who makes you happy. DOn't do it based on race, as if a black man messed you over and a white man couldn't do the same thing.
I'm getting divorced soon. My ex is black and I won't date a white man just because my husband cheated on me. Cheating and mistreatment isn't an ethnicity thing, it's a character dysfunction.
I hear you. My frustration got the better of me. It just feel the character dysfunction is what I keep finding. I have to figure out why that dysfunction keeps finding me.
No self respecting white man would mix his seed with yours and make some sub human mutt for the taxpayers to support! Why in God's great name would I want a black chick? My kids are likely to be educationally challenged, self hating, violent, anti social criminals. Why would I subject my own child to second class sub human status when I have a choice? White males who can't do better or can't support themselves may consider you but I will NOT! You're not even pretty!
I didnt read your shit but anyway, This system of education is onesided and is bias on learning. A european man lying about his concepts and being the true NIGGER of being ignorant in that fashion. He sets up shit to make it look like he knows everything but really he steals everything to get his wealth and makes the IQ test and other test and laws in his favor only by design. Its funny how european men have are retarded when it comes to doing tasks from a native land and task with physical
Math and science is universal, so that still wouldnt explain minority underachievement in those fields. Everything else I agree with, but not because of karma. Kemet, Persia, Rome, the Caliphate, Ottomon Turkey, it all comes and goes. I guess you can call it karma.
ok first of all African aka my people, latinos, asians all out number europeans on the planet. So on a global scale we are not minority. My people and the other listed and other non europeans, are the majority. PEriod. I dont look at the lies the census put out here fooling people with onesided stats. Certian people in this nation of ameriKKKa dont see the brainwash that the european education system effect has. People are waking up tho. Lying to us and leaving out truth so they dnt lie all the
time but leave out important data and truth. WE have our own forms of math and science that euros stole and make it llok like its ws theirs. They did it to the natives of many lands. they are frauds PEriod. but karma aka the natural law takes care of things. jsut beacuz people go invade other lands and use evil concepts to steal land from people who dnt have that evil mindframe to do that. does make them Superior it makes them less human because they are one with the earth like other native ppl
we help the earth. those who have stolen land all aroung the globe, are fuckin up the planet. We have never did that. BUT, natural law aka karma comes around. PEace. im done reading txts and sending.
European populations are low because their birth rates are falling because of industrialization. Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, and Singapore have virth rates even lower than Europeans. Civilizations come and go, it has nothing to do with spiritual bullshit you were talking about.
tasks. Or even understanding concepts on how my people from africa, people from asia, south america, are more healthy be nature and can out do european aka whites in everything and really built this nation before it was stolen by them inbreeds in the first place. So, europeans aka white long nose monkeys, are the reason for all this chaos by design. All other people of the world were doing fine before contact of the virus pumped europeans. REcon that truth to your mind now. We will overcome.
everything the eurpeans thow at us. so will all the other nations of the world the euros fucked with. the walls are going to close in in them. period. watch the karma.
Specify what do mean by "plan?" Please elaborate, what about execution?
We really need to network and building our own, and supporting it.
Going though this Pecker-wood system is not for us. We need community independence - not saying it is easy. However, every other ethnic group of color already figured this out a long time ago. But you don't hear me though.
I questions where you you see your self in 5-10 years from now. Speculation is more of a fantasy, that I grew out of like the "Tooth Fairy", Santa, and every Pagan European Holiday. What we can't into the future, but I see that it is getting ugly.
Baby, do you know the "New World Order?" please research it - I would not spare you wrong.
Anything I set out to do is not plan (planning is pointless when you can't execute it right then and there).
after small tasks. I planned many things but it never went my way. Nothing is guarantee, just I thought I would be married have my family living in southern with a successful career - it has definitely not happened yet.
Now I am fed up want too live the USA (I hate it), after because a conscious brother. I want got out this "CUNTRY." You should this video series Success leaving American to South Africa. I will sen you that video to watch.
that will dictate your fate of the future. What you decide instantly know how what you are up against and how to beat the opposition - gave yourself a fighting chance to win, since it is slim to none.
That means chances you may not listen and take heed to my warning, we must know our TRUE HISTORY and start doing our original concepts and ideologies from the original land. Not this other land we need too learn who we are, and stop assimilating European Culture. This not some so-called "Black Power" talk is cheap pussy nonsense. I am saying reconnect who are you and lineage wise, language, culture, etc. not saying it is easy Sweetheart. I got a lot of work to do myself (cont)
This has nothing to do with assimilating to the European Culture. The last relationship I felt he was not respecting himself - so if he was not doing that - then what? What does this have to do with culture, language, lineage wise? And yes, everyday I grow to know myself and what I am about and my history more today than yesterday and better tommorrow. Here's a question for you . Do you know any of these bros that I can meet?
I am sorry it didn't work out, I was so pulling for you.
I totally understand where you are and what you are saying. Most men I run into don't want commitment, they just want something casual.
I think dating outside your race will open up the field, & if you feel good about it, then do it. I thought about, & I see attractive men who are not black, but I'm not there yet. The dating world is so different now.
I'm certainly not a person to give ANY advice on "love". I have no experience with it and I don't desire any, but I have to say: I do hope you find what it is you're looking for. We all have our goals in life and the things that really keep us going is the journey to achieve them. Good luck with it. I wish you all the best. :) Keep us posted! And for sure, I want an invite to your wedding! I've always wanted an excuse to make it out to your neck of the woods.
have you tried social mixers in nearby largers cities?? there's the internet (but we know the risks in that) are you willing to date younger blk men(not too young) who are interested in you?i see nothing wrong without you dating outside your race, but always keep a bigger picture open. also keep in mind, there are still good blk men out here we just either grinding or being overlooked through negativity and myths that were are not productive. but whatever you do be :)
as for myself, i'm a single blk male 33yrs old with no kids, no outstanding debts, no drama (lol) with 15yrs in the army. i'm deployed right now, but the last 5yrs i've been going to school, working side jobs, and juggling my army career. in between all that, i've had little time for dating (plus other reasons) i know several brothers (30's and up)who are single, educated, and productive.
so we are out here........lol but we maybe in a different state or area. solutions for you? cont.
I know the brothers are out there. I just keep finding the ones with more than enough baggage. I have no problem with baggage but the type of baggage I encounter is ... words can't describe it.
You a brother with no kids at your age -- the sistas have to be lining up for you?!?!
usually, if i run across sista who finds out i have no kids there in disbelief or they will think something is wrong with me (downlow) it takes them a minute to see i'm a normal guy.............lol but by then, we usually don't connect cause she assumed the worse about me and i just move on. i have had alot of bad things happen to me but, i don't let that could my judgement about people. some sistas let the negativity get the best of them. cont
so there is a flip-side to this. some sistas overlook the real thing or have a hard time connecting cause "he's too good to be true" ...................but hey what can you do?....lol
pot liquor eh??......................lol i havn't heard that in awhile. (yeah he was kinda hood) freckles i've been a long time fan of your vids (reason, i like sistas who wear their hair natural) i listened to your vid and i'll like to share some things with you.
i think this has alot to do with your environment, think about it......there are brothers all across this nation doing productive things with themselves, but you will never know about it. (negative outweighs the positive) cont.
@gallyun1. Thanks for the compliment about my vids. Funny I don't make them often. I am immersed in this Facebook stuff and the dag ole games. They have me on lock down. CafeWorld, Farmville and My Town. You should see me sweating when I am not near my laptop to play those games.
I love wearing my hair natural. I take very good care of it. Even when it's a mess - it's all good.
@gallyun1 I agree it has something to do with environment. For example, everyone on my block is married - everyone. Not a single to be found. If they are single they are not BM's. When I lived in a larger metro area it was somewhat easier and more to choose from.
I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out but "he" is out there. The lack of a plan is not limited to "brothers" ; it is congenital within all males it is just that some overcome it and others need help to overcome. Since 2008 I decided to be a little like Whoopie Goldberg and began dating men (regardless of color) who asked me out and by whom I was intrigued. If they meet your standards ask yourself ; if you would go out with them if they were black? Take a chance, I did.
Frankly it really doesn't matter. If you love everything about him and he's Anglo or Asian or Hispanic? what does the race matter - just find a man that meets your criteria. I'd prefer a black man, but i won't just date exclusively a black man if a man of another race approaches me and i totally dig him.
Hi Freckles2720, I really feel you. It is difficult dating black men. Especially when you're educated, articulate, independent, and assertive. It becomes more of a challenge. It has absolutely nothing to do with money or material possessions. I think you should date outside your race, even if it is just a trial period. Love is blind, it sees no color. So just let go and live.
I think you should be open minded and keep your options open as far as race, I met my husband online and we will be married for 3 years in May. There are a number of services including google and "been verified" that allow u 2 check people out,for a small fee.
Good to hear from you and I am sorry about your relationship went to the end. It is not all black men. it is the individual person. Take my advice, if you want to date outside your race, do it for you. There are good black men out there, but they have to find you, you do not have to find them. Take care!!
kimmaytube did a really eye opening, inspiring video on online dating which is how she met her husband...i think that may be a great way to start... in the end we are all human we all shed blood, why should color matter?? the sky is the limits..just go with the flow where ever you find it then let it be..
i feel you on so many levels. i have been lucky to find a good black man. even though he has come along with a lot of baggae and he is not on the same level as i am. with his money and his personal goals. deep down he is a good man and there is nothing we cant work thru. keep your head up. i dont agree with dating outside of your race but you have to do what makes you happy. if you cant find it within our own men then maybe you can find it in some other race.
I feel for you Freckles. I married my HS sweetheart and we are still very happy. Pray about it, and live your best life and you will meet the one for you:)
Honey, I totally feel you. I'm 35 (lonesome) and single. I have been trying to remain patient, but it has been very difficult. I have been in one bad situation after another and I'm sooooo tired of running into these lyin ass/sorry ass/untrustworthy ass men! My tolerance for their B.S. is seriously wearing thin. Just within the past month, I've let two potentials know exactly where they can go. My preference is also black men, but I am somewhat open to something new.
Good for you freckles for not settling!. God wants us to live at our fullest potential..There's nothing wrong with wanting someONE (black, white, red or brown)that compliments what you've done in your life that got you where you are!!
girl go for it. i think you will find it refreshing and exciting because there are men of other races are interested in black women. don't let anyone make u feel like you shouldn't either. do what you want, more power to you and your happiness.
I FEEL YOU--- I FEEL YOU ---- I FEEL YOU
ALIM2206 7 months ago
Yaaay! Im not the only black girl with freckles!.
Beyoncebeyond 9 months ago
Yaaay! Im not the only black girl with freckles!.
<3
Beyoncebeyond 9 months ago
Shalom, Freckles. I suggest you write down a list of what you want your husband to be in vivid detail leaving nothing. Of course, no man is ever going to fit the entire list unless your standards are really low. It's like the book of the Prophet Habbakkuk 2:2 "Write the vision down [on stone tablets] and make it plain so that a man may run with it". I pray angels on assignment on your behalf in JESUS' Name. Also, don't look for him; he will find you.
isaacruffinjr 9 months ago
Yes. Start dating outside of your race and don't feel guilty about it. Love comes in all colors. Good luck!
jgoodlowe 10 months ago
Perhaps youre not marriage material. Marriage isnt for everyone. Stop worrying about it and jjust live your life.
damones1 10 months ago
Interesting video post..... Be at ease with yourself and the rest will follow. 8-)
A book that I would suggest to check out is "Moments of Grace" by Patrice Gaines.
She is a very grounded author and there are some insights that you speak of in her book. NOTE: This is not a selfhelp book but the story of her her journey as a Black Woman. I have read it 3 times or more and it has always given me some insight into my own Soul.
This is from a Black Man's perspective. Enjoy Peace & Life.
Defiant359 10 months ago
sounds like a dilema.. hard these days.. too much outside cultural infiltration that counters our natures.. we cant get along with us mostly because we dont know who us is.. blackpeople caught in the european paradigm need to be exercised of the caucasian influences in order to regain a balance and refind ourselves.. blessings in your search.. try going to afrika for a while.. blackpower sis
podzillart 10 months ago
Hi freckles,
I hope your relationship status is working better now. You seem like a great person to be around. Question: dating outside of your race? If I may be so bold... what is your race? You look mixed to me... which means you have the best of both worlds. I, being a white man dating a black woman for 12 years and very happy would hope that you find the person who makes you the happiest.
Cheers
tiemac 11 months ago
I hope you choose to ignore the "your standards are too high comments" that's a load of bologna. Have you ever heard anyone say to a man that his standards are too high or to a non black woman? I haven't and I fail to understand this notion that BW shouldn't seek out the absolute best possible partner. My advice is to keep your mind and options open and seek out the best regardless of skin color. All the best to you
lisablisa 11 months ago
I like your hair
haydenman2 1 year ago
go for it, freckles!
balawea 1 year ago
The moment you stop "looking" he will find you. Peace and I really wish you well sister!
lovelylashes7 1 year ago
there are tons of bm right here on youtube that are telling you what it takes to get them and bw are busy arguing against them instead of trying to work with them and understand what a womans role should be. single bw are pumping each other up for failure. your first line of action should be is to stop listening to the women and start listening to these men if they are who you claim to want.
MizzEboniePrincess 1 year ago 2
@MizzEboniePrincess - I am not going to debate with you. I don't agree with the majority of your comments. And that's cool.
freckles2720 1 year ago 2
@cedpoet women of other races dont have bad attitudes and dont consider their careers to be their selling points. bw refuse to listen to what bm are saying they want and instead of listening and taking heed they are telling them they are wrong and trying to make bm want what they think he should want. until bw start to listen they will forever be single. stop cosigning each other and listen to bm if that is who you claim you want. its basic commen sense.
MizzEboniePrincess 1 year ago
U shouldnt really focus on ethnicity u should date somebody who is good to you and somebody who is compatible
KeceCwanaKurdish 1 year ago 3
this isnt really an issue. if you like a white guy date one if you like a black guy, date one if you like an asian guy, date one. not all black/white/asian etc guy are the same
YayFlannigan 1 year ago 4
@kurlycurls - poor excuse.
freckles2720 1 year ago
i dont understand why someone who is single always got to be looked at as having high standards. make it sound like she should take what she can get and deal with it.
ksha 1 year ago 2
@ksha - You get my point. For me it has to do with standards. Why should I accept crap.
freckles2720 1 year ago
@freckles2720 Only those who have nothing offer and only want to control a woman are the ones pointing the finger. They always say "quit picking bums" and I always say "stop raising them to be bums & quit running from your responsibility". Alot of black men don't understand partnership.
ksha 1 year ago
I hear ya...- great video
scarletjazz 1 year ago
Have you ever lost something and searched EVERYWHERE for it and it just was nowhere to be found? Then...one day, when that thing was not even on your mind, you happen to stumble upon it? I think that may be a law of life. If we just relax and trust God with our lives, what we are looking for will come to us. Your Creator knows the desires of your heart. I would recommend that you find your security in Him and let all things that are for you to come to you themselves. Peace and Blessings!
foreverhisbeloved 1 year ago
Sorry to learn that it did not work out. You made the grown woman decision that it was not going to work out. We should never have to compromise fundamentals of a relationship just to be IN a relationship. You knew what you wanted and weren't afraid to make a choice. Good for you.
Keep the faith. Love is love no matter where you find it!
Peace.
thecreativelady 1 year ago
@thecreativelady - I am so not sorry it did not work. He was a true hot mess. Thank goodness I recognized fast.
freckles2720 1 year ago
Just stopping by to check on you. Sorry to hear that it did not work out but seems like you made the right decision. If there is doubt, don't do it. Ever. Never give up your desires. Keep searching. He will come.
Best Wishes!
thecreativelady 1 year ago
@cedpoet - check kurlycurls comments - what do you think?
freckles2720 1 year ago
@kurlycurls - Wow! Look around you - if you're a black woman, you should know the shortage. You should also know society has had a major part in the failure of not respecting, mentoring, properly educating, etc our brothers. I understand the plight of the situation but do not feel one should use it as an excuse for being a mature 40+ year old to be trifling. I honor my success and my good naturedness - if that is intimidating then again, wow. Let me 'aks' you this, why don't you have an vids?
freckles2720 1 year ago
you expectations are too high, try relaxing and let it flow. money is nothing
victory0952 1 year ago 3
@victory0952 - no my expectations are not to high. They are right on point for where I am in my life.
freckles2720 1 year ago
My stepfather is German. I have traveled ALL over the world. Black women should not limit themselves or SETTLE. A man is a man (physically at least LOL). I lived in Italy for 4 years. There is NOTHING wrong with expanding your horizons. I think as black women we are scared of something different. Where that comes from I dont know, but we need to stop limiting ourselves, because you can miss out on a lot. BTW, my honey is Sicilian and spoils me crazy and I feel loved..
DivaLady2b 1 year ago
if you're asking, i think you already know the answer. so don't second guess yourself, just go for it!
Jameelah265 1 year ago
i understand your point a 45 - 50 year old man should be settled! still job hopping and working a menial job at 50 is not a good sign of maturity. don't be afraid to open your heart to a man of other races. the decision to date someone should be based on his character and not his skin tone.
ChoKawaiiMUA 1 year ago
them. case and point in the medical field i RARELY SEE BLACK MEN AS NURSES AND DOCTORS? i can count black males ratio to be slim to none. i dont want someone that is a garbage man, i dont want someone that dosent have a career! it sucks!i want to have a child and get married before im 30
selahmami 1 year ago
@selahmami - I hear your pain and angst. It appears you got and understood the message to take care of you first so you can bring not just love, understanding but you are bringing goals. You get what I am trying to convey thru my Husband series vids. It's not that I am looking for the millionaire with the 'right' zip-code. I am seeking someone with goals who is enacting and building towards a future.
freckles2720 1 year ago
hi freckles..i love this post. im 26 and im an RN working on furthering my career. i have dated around went around social circles different areas,cities. and yes i understand. i have saw that alot of black men dont have it together..its always that they need a woman to motivate them or they have baggage,lots of kids..and/or marriage aint a option for them. a indian man that is a doctor has invited me out and im going..i cant keep waiting, and i have to have someone that has goals and achieves
selahmami 1 year ago
@selahmami
It''s good for you to look to marry a non-black man... Black women generally are NOT the best choice for the Black man for many reasons... Latina, Puerto Rican, and White females are much better suited for what a black man needs in a real woman and wife.
.
VAIO294 1 year ago
yes i dont know its hard because i try to not be judgmental or stereotype but i dont want a man taht NEEDS a woman to uplift him or help him out, like i got mine he should have his..and esp in the medical field i dont SEE them! so this indian guy may be a geek, virgin etc..but he is very smart, goal oriented, no children, wants marriage and he dates for a purpose! im excited. im gong to a family dinner of his this weekend.
selahmami 1 year ago
@selahmami
I agree with you... And no man should EVER be with a Black woman that NEEDS him to help her out... Grown black women need to stand on their OWN 2 feet ... Black women should never expect any emotional uplifting from any man.
You and I are in agreement.
.
VAIO294 1 year ago
Stop looking . be aware of them but dont look. race has nothing to do with it . a good man is a good man .
runnybunny83 1 year ago
First off, sorry things didn't work out. I was happy that you reunited with a person from your past. Point blank and in all honesty Freckles, the ratio is too much in our (black males) favor these days. I told my sis this and explained it like this. 1st, most of male competition are R I P or in jail. 2nd, too many easy women out here for brothers to have so no need to settle down. 3rd, we still have that myth attach to us that gives us this false sense of arrogance (stressing myth). etc....
hoodgyno 1 year ago
@hoodgyno - I'm not sorry it did not work out. It would have been a disaster. I am glad I realized that fast! You are correct about ratio. Many of our brothers are not available for one reason or another and I mean the ones who are actually being productive in a honest and respectful manner.
freckles2720 1 year ago
Dawlin, i have strayed to the other races(ie. white,latino) just got out of 2nd marriage exact reason ustated - he 42yrs old was statisfied with going NOWHERE in his 'career' (car sales-haha)now i am looking at an old ex - 20yrs plus - who is upset that i ddnt wait until he was ready, i got married 2x to other ppl. well, he is still undcded- aftr 20+ years! i give up on brothers - i am ambitious, careerminded (i am a contract analyst for a major healthcare corp) mom of one- looking for love...
jamala38 1 year ago
You should go out with i guy you like.Someone that cares about you and your intrests. I dont think the races matters :)
Alexis13h 1 year ago
Also (since I am a natural sista like you) you would find that men of other races would find your natural hair to be very attractive. I know that feelings on natural hair are still mixed/varied in the Black community but for the most part, other races are ignorant to this(thankfully). I say this so you don't start second guessing yourself/giving in to the Euro-centric mentality esp if you are considering dating outside of your race. I find that even more liberating :-)
MsCaribbeanChick 1 year ago
@MsCaribbeanChick
I agree with you completely... I think that all black women generally should be with white men and Black men should be with white females and other non-black women... It's just a better fit for so many reasons.
.
VAIO294 1 year ago
@VAIO294
What do you mean 'It's just a better fit for so many reasons?'
freckles2720 1 year ago
@freckles2720
Its a better fit because Black women generally have an attitude of contempt and disrespect towards Black men, but not so with White men With white men, black women will go out of their way to please him, cater to him, and try to win his acceptance and approval,,, not so with black men.
Its usually easier for a Black man find love, acceptance, and Respect with a White, Latina, Puerto Rican, or other non-black woman, than with a black woman.
.
VAIO294 1 year ago
All I can comment is 'Wow'.
freckles2720 1 year ago
@freckles2720 What vaio says is 100% true
mrblackalchemist 1 year ago
@mrblackalchemist - to me it's a load of crap what VAI0924 - just another lame excuse.
freckles2720 1 year ago
@MsCaribbeanChick- I feel you on this about dating outside of one's race. There will be seperate issues and sensitivity should be engaged. My sister married outside of her race and there are sensitive isues that both she and her husband handle. They have been married for 19 years and counting.
freckles2720 1 year ago
All relationships have challenges/issues that require sensitivity, no relationship is free from trials. With inter-racial relationships some trials will pertain to race, that is to be expected esp. in America that is still obsessed with race. Talk to your sister, gain some insight from her on what to expect. It's wonderful that you have her example to emulate!! Use it!! Then see the world of men with new eyes that discern based on character and not color. You should be excited about that..
MsCaribbeanChick 1 year ago
Similarly, if you found a (insert whichever race here) man, who was culturally sensitive to Blacks and viewed them in a positive light, wouldn't that negate the race issue? I am talking from personal experience. I have dated and will continue to date outside of my race as a Black woman. People are people and it's character and values that determine the success of a relationship, not the hue of one's skin...
MsCaribbeanChick 1 year ago
YES, you should look outside of your race. Firstly, to insist that you can/cannot date someone because of their race, is a racist theory, plain and simple. I would then advise that when you do date someone outside of your race, assess how culturally sensitive they are to Black/African American culture because THAT'S what is important. Follow me for a minute, if you found a Black man that was self-loathing and condescending of Blacks, you would be disgusted...
MsCaribbeanChick 1 year ago
Freckles, do you think you have a dating preference or dating habit when it comes to ethnicity of men?
GentlemanAmerican 2 years ago
@GentlemanAmerican
Good question - I'd say both leaning slightly toward habit. Why?
freckles2720 2 years ago
Because I think you need to answer this question for yourself.
GentlemanAmerican 2 years ago
I have answered it - I am open to other ethnicities.
freckles2720 2 years ago
OK, now that sounds more definitive.
GentlemanAmerican 2 years ago
Regarding the ethnicity of whomever you date, dont allow yourself to feel pressured in any direction. If you truly prefer a BM, go for that. However, if it is more a habit than an actual preference, then you should consider other ethnicities of men. Either way, you will have to go through the same process for any variety of man, learning how compatible you are, including your values (religion/moral structure) and your goals. Good luck!
GentlemanAmerican 2 years ago
I can't believe some of the nasty comments here. WTF? Freckles seems too nice for that. I am no relationship authority, especially with my bad track record in that area. But I do believe a common mistake both men and women make is that they rush into getting serious prematurely. Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for. So it is best to learn as much about each other, including compatibility, before taking it to the next step.
GentlemanAmerican 2 years ago
@GentlemanAmerican - yes, I am a nice person. Yeah, I've been reading the comments and it's like some of the commenters feel like I don't know the basics of me and what I seek. Yes, I am guilty of that good ole feeling of a new relationship and go from 0 to 50 in a hot sec. One person asked do I know the type of person I seek - well, yeah. A truthful, honest, hard-working, good values, someone I can be proud of, not a slob, respectful of me and has my back. All of which I will give freely to him
freckles2720 2 years ago
@GentlemanAmerican- cont. If he is a dad to have been in his kids life and be a father to them. I know he's out there and there is one character flaw I need to work out which is listen to that alarm bell go off earlier in a budding relationship. I have a tendency to want to 'rescue' them and then I ask myself 'what happened'.
I appreciate your constructive comment.
freckles2720 2 years ago
This may not relate to u, but here is something on a side note.
I feel many black women make the wrong choice in men. Good men are all around u. Here is something funny. I went to a club with my boy who is married. 5 min in, this chick walked up to him. they are seeing each other now. I wonder, if she knew he was married and that I wasnt, would something diff have happened? Not jealous, just a funny thing when it comes to choices.
MrMakemusicmike 2 years ago
@GentlemanAmerican - oh come on the female has no idea he's married by now? How long ago was this?
freckles2720 2 years ago
I don't understand.
GentlemanAmerican 2 years ago
Don't understand which comment?
freckles2720 2 years ago
@freckles2720: I didn't fully understand when you said: "oh come on the female has no idea he's married by now? How long ago was this? "
GentlemanAmerican 2 years ago
@GentlemanAmerican I believe she was responding to my comment(mrmakemusicmike) look below for the story.
MrMakemusicmike 2 years ago
@freckles2720 I think you meant to direct ur comment at me:mrmakemusicmike. It's been since mid february. And she wants it everyday. Also, he slipped up in went raw!
MrMakemusicmike 2 years ago
Men are on a marriage strike,because 90% of divorces are initiated by women. And a man can get fleesed during a divorce & I hate to break it to you,women your age. Will not garner much male attention,you should of married in your 20s if you could. Men don't want older women!
crypter27 2 years ago
You ever hear the term Cougar?
freckles2720 2 years ago
Number 1 cougarhood will never be mainstream,due to biological realities of men & women. Number 2 sex & the city is a fairy tale one desighned by women,& can be very misleading. Number 3 you have to look young in order to be a cougar. And you don't,sorry to break it to you.
crypter27 2 years ago
@crypter27.
Number 1 - never say never.
Number 2 - Sex and the city - loved it. I know some of it is fairy tale. So is thw Matrix Reloaded but some truths are in it.
Number 3 - I do and feel young. No one and I mean no one has ever thought what my real age is once I told them. So, dont be sorry for yourself.
Number 4 - I'm an w.r.a - meaning Women's Rights Activist & damn proud to be a WOMAN!
Number 5 - The next comment you leave will not be read but instead deleted and you blocked.
freckles2720 2 years ago
A lot of men are not looking to get married, marriage is basically a losing proposition for a man.
If you have reached middle age and not married you may have to just deal with the cards you were dealt.
Croozer 2 years ago
So, as you commented since I am middle aged I should have to deal with the cards I was dealt. That sounds like a load of crap to me. Giving up on my goals is not an option. Ever.
freckles2720 1 year ago
@Freckles
The brotha's do have a "plan",,, and the plan is to Not be with any woman who is not offering UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
All this about what he has and where he is at a certain stage in life is NOT about loving the PERSON... And without unconditional love for the person himself, regardless of where he is in life, the relationahip will not last.
Circumstances change for better and for worse,,, but LOVE never fails.
.
VAIO294 2 years ago 2
@VAIO294 - You and I never agree nor see I-I. If I see green you see beige. Unconditional love comes 'for me' with respect. The brotha I was dating had values which were not acceptable to me. They were point blank wrong. Trust on that - they were wrong. And unconditional love stopped. 1
freckles2720 2 years ago
@Freckles
You didn't say in your vid the brotha was some type of "valueless", immoral person.. I thought you mentioned he was trying to have GOD in his life?
Is this a case that he just doesn't place the same value of materialism and money as you, and because of that you can't "respect" him?
Even GOD doesn't meet your expectations.. NO MAN, black or white, is going to be exactly what you want him to be.. You LOVE a person for who they are, a HUMAN BEING, just as YOU want the same.
.
VAIO294 2 years ago 3
I sent you a PM message.
freckles2720 2 years ago
@freckles
Ok,, got your PM... It makes sense.
VAIO294 2 years ago
@VAIO294 - I thought you would understand better my PM to you. So, you see it had nothing to do with race or having exactly what I want in him?
freckles2720 2 years ago
do you know what the type of men you looking for want in a woman? do you know what attracts the type of men your looking for? you know what you want. you havent found that. but do you know what the type of men you want wants? and can you deliver that. can you attract that? look forward to your response.
imsatindoll 2 years ago
@imsatindoll - yes, I do know what type of man I want. On the physical I would hope he is able or at least willing to learn how to be handy around the house with fixing/repairng things. I would prefer @ my age him to have lived and be at home-owner, condo owner, his name on his rental and not living in his momma's basement. If he is a father to been in his child(s) life. His child(s) have much respect for him and vice versa. Please let this man have a sense of humor - please! cont.
freckles2720 2 years ago
A responsible person, takes care of his bills, take care of himself both mentally and physically. Supportive of me and my goals which include him. Has to get along with my fam. Must like cats - I have two and they are staying.
What I have found are men who are a 'mess'. The appearance at first is 'well, I just hit a rough patch now'. I have been told, while at Juniors restaurant ( a budget friendly place) go ahead and order your dinner but dont order dessert. What! The list goes on & on. Cont.
freckles2720 2 years ago
@imsatindoll. Another thing I do not like slobs. Please understand this I get men and women decorate/fix-up their homes in different fashions. But to be a slob and leave pots, dishes, pans, sitting around smelling and growing mold - really? Also, being sad or just having a rough day its ok - I'm all for being your cheerleader or if you want some time to yourself - hey I can understand but when it becomes moody and uncomfortable- really?
Oh, I mentioned supportive of my goals I will support his.
freckles2720 2 years ago
LOL I understand. however all of that you described was what YOU want in a man. which is important! however what I wanted to know was if you knew what that type of man you just described wants in a woman. for example if you want a handy man who is finanacially stable & well put together....do you know what that handy financiaally stable well put together man wants from a woman. what does that type want from you? what does he find attractive? do you know that & can you deliver it?
imsatindoll 2 years ago
I am not as concerned with him pampering himself in the mirror and taking days to get ready. I do like him to be conscious of what is fashionable but not consumed by it. I like him to be groomed and know when it's time for a haircut etc. I hate slobs - just hate em. Yes, I like a man who is handy and doesnt mind getting dirty fixing things. If he has ok credit thats ok as long as he is trying to build up his credit. Yes, I can deliver the goods.
Why you ask?
freckles2720 2 years ago
reason I asked is because when it comes to women being single there is always more to it than what is being told. from your standpoint you dont see what you want. its either because where you go he is just not there or he is there and not approaching you. either way you not getting what you want. and alot of women dont think about the "not attracting him" part. because we as women more than likely are not the approachers we only go by who comes our way and when what we dont want is all that does
imsatindoll 2 years ago
@imsatindoll - I missed the hubby train with this one dude way back in my early years - my fam thougth I was to young. We remain friends to this day.
You are correct we women are not the approachers - I to am guilty of that - even when was in my hot asz '20's.
freckles2720 2 years ago
-continuation- we assume "oh he is nowhere to be found" but never think that he is out there but there MAY be something about me that is turning that type of guy off. as women we never look at it from a mans standpoint of what do men want. we know very well what we want from our men but never the other way around. we never think about ok what is he looking for and our we delivering it??? so I am curious to know what do YOU think your dream guy wants in a woman?
imsatindoll 2 years ago 3
@imsatindoll - I think my dream guy will want to be left alone or want me to watch football. I can't stand the game. I'll watch superbowl. I hope he wants and appreciates my home bodyness, keeps a clean home, cool with my fam, cool w my neighbors, likes I am computer literate and likes to talk with my man about meanigful stuff and sill stuff. Loves my natural hair and does not want me to 'fit' in with weaves, wigs or relaxer. All that you write I am aware the pickings are slim in my age range
freckles2720 2 years ago
@imsatindoll cont. Alot of the men who entered marriage or commited relationships in their 20's are now divorced. Trust on this there are alot in my age range even with the pickings being slim. I checked your vids and appreciate your views. There are some items you will see as you move thru the decades of your life that you can not possibly relate to unless you live them.
freckles2720 2 years ago
I understand that my views on the whole age thing that alot of women may disagree with. and thats fine. at this point we cant really focus on age because lets face it. we cant go back in time. however I do think many factors apply to even the older women who want to date including knowing what men want and being able to deliver it within reason of course......
imsatindoll 2 years ago 2
Age does play a factor in the choice of a mate one chooses. There are value systems I had in my twenties that are different and the expectations as we move thru the decades also changes. I am not looking to go back in time. I do understand what men want - let me ask you this do you?
freckles2720 2 years ago
what I mean by focusing on age is that we cant focus on what happened in your twenties because your not twenty anymore. what good does that do you now? to answer your question...I do think men prefer women who are feminin, look good, keep a good reputation, who are positive and fun loving, no drama, not condescening, not arrogant about their success, not total airheads lol, not overbearing, not timid about sex, not too much of a boring person, respectful of leadership, supportive, I can go on...
imsatindoll 2 years ago 11
my video concerning single factors was just explaining what happens when prime years are not taken advantage of. I really didnt bring anything about age up to you because I do feel at this point that its irrelevant. you cant go back and undo it. your in your thirtiers, forties, whatever age so you have to look at the now. I do think there are things that should be taken into account when it comes to women finding the guy they want. and I do believe location and attraction plays a big part.
imsatindoll 2 years ago 3
@imsatindoll so i guess i need to move to Alaska! lol
EyeWearMySunglasses 1 year ago
again you say you are not finding what you want. and again its either they are not there OR they are there and not noticing or liking you. so that tells me that its either a location issue or an attraction issue. I just want women who hope to find the guy they want to look at it as proactively as they can and not have a mindset of "oh nothing I can do" type of mentality. I feel like alot of things is not being considered when I hear women say they cant find what they want.
imsatindoll 2 years ago 4
I do hope I am making sense in what I am trying to say. whether you want a black man or white man...makes me no difference. you still have to locate the type of man you want and once you locate him he would still need to be attracted to you before you too can get to know each other, establish a relationship, fall in love, and get married. location and attraction are two factors that need to be addressed concerning finding your dream guy. but thats just my logic & opinion, im no expert or doc...
imsatindoll 2 years ago 6
always the voice of reason, satin
marcdaddy33 2 years ago
Afreequeen is right. Cheating is a character defect and it isn't limited to Black men. I didn't find the woman of my dreams until I moved out of the Greater Los Angeles Area. You might have to look beyond your general area in order to find love.
helihellraiser 2 years ago
@helihellraiser. I agree cheating knows no racial barrier. It's cheating regardless. I might have to look at Mar in order to find love.
freckles2720 2 years ago
If you were Canadian, I'd marry you.
KidBrotherIsWatching 2 years ago
Black women seem to think dating White will answer all your problems. But you realize that dating WHite will open a another set of problems that may even be harder to deal with than a Black man not having a plan. Like racism. The stares, and also do you really think the majority of the top of the line White dudes really like Black women enough to marry them?
ENOCHSZUNXXXL 2 years ago 5
Date who makes you happy. DOn't do it based on race, as if a black man messed you over and a white man couldn't do the same thing.
I'm getting divorced soon. My ex is black and I won't date a white man just because my husband cheated on me. Cheating and mistreatment isn't an ethnicity thing, it's a character dysfunction.
AfreeQueen 2 years ago
thank you for the truth.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
I hear you. My frustration got the better of me. It just feel the character dysfunction is what I keep finding. I have to figure out why that dysfunction keeps finding me.
freckles2720 2 years ago
I agree with you totally. Cheating has nothing to do with race/ethnicity. If the person is going to cheat then he/she will cheat.
On a side, note I hope your divorce is going as smoothly as possible.
freckles2720 1 year ago
No self respecting white man would mix his seed with yours and make some sub human mutt for the taxpayers to support! Why in God's great name would I want a black chick? My kids are likely to be educationally challenged, self hating, violent, anti social criminals. Why would I subject my own child to second class sub human status when I have a choice? White males who can't do better or can't support themselves may consider you but I will NOT! You're not even pretty!
56Stiffy 2 years ago
I didnt read your shit but anyway, This system of education is onesided and is bias on learning. A european man lying about his concepts and being the true NIGGER of being ignorant in that fashion. He sets up shit to make it look like he knows everything but really he steals everything to get his wealth and makes the IQ test and other test and laws in his favor only by design. Its funny how european men have are retarded when it comes to doing tasks from a native land and task with physical
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
Math and science is universal, so that still wouldnt explain minority underachievement in those fields. Everything else I agree with, but not because of karma. Kemet, Persia, Rome, the Caliphate, Ottomon Turkey, it all comes and goes. I guess you can call it karma.
firemarshall007 2 years ago
ok first of all African aka my people, latinos, asians all out number europeans on the planet. So on a global scale we are not minority. My people and the other listed and other non europeans, are the majority. PEriod. I dont look at the lies the census put out here fooling people with onesided stats. Certian people in this nation of ameriKKKa dont see the brainwash that the european education system effect has. People are waking up tho. Lying to us and leaving out truth so they dnt lie all the
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
time but leave out important data and truth. WE have our own forms of math and science that euros stole and make it llok like its ws theirs. They did it to the natives of many lands. they are frauds PEriod. but karma aka the natural law takes care of things. jsut beacuz people go invade other lands and use evil concepts to steal land from people who dnt have that evil mindframe to do that. does make them Superior it makes them less human because they are one with the earth like other native ppl
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
we help the earth. those who have stolen land all aroung the globe, are fuckin up the planet. We have never did that. BUT, natural law aka karma comes around. PEace. im done reading txts and sending.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
European populations are low because their birth rates are falling because of industrialization. Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, and Singapore have virth rates even lower than Europeans. Civilizations come and go, it has nothing to do with spiritual bullshit you were talking about.
firemarshall007 2 years ago
didnt get read. PEace.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
tasks. Or even understanding concepts on how my people from africa, people from asia, south america, are more healthy be nature and can out do european aka whites in everything and really built this nation before it was stolen by them inbreeds in the first place. So, europeans aka white long nose monkeys, are the reason for all this chaos by design. All other people of the world were doing fine before contact of the virus pumped europeans. REcon that truth to your mind now. We will overcome.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
everything the eurpeans thow at us. so will all the other nations of the world the euros fucked with. the walls are going to close in in them. period. watch the karma.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
and by the way I never read your shit so. u can stop wasting your time with your reply. PEACE AND BLESSINGS.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
Specify what do mean by "plan?" Please elaborate, what about execution?
We really need to network and building our own, and supporting it.
Going though this Pecker-wood system is not for us. We need community independence - not saying it is easy. However, every other ethnic group of color already figured this out a long time ago. But you don't hear me though.
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
speak that raw truth man. im with you on that.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
I am so down with networking and independence. Before I answer my definition of what plan means, what do you think plan means?
freckles2720 2 years ago
I questions where you you see your self in 5-10 years from now. Speculation is more of a fantasy, that I grew out of like the "Tooth Fairy", Santa, and every Pagan European Holiday. What we can't into the future, but I see that it is getting ugly.
Baby, do you know the "New World Order?" please research it - I would not spare you wrong.
Anything I set out to do is not plan (planning is pointless when you can't execute it right then and there).
It must be done with segment after (cont.)
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
after small tasks. I planned many things but it never went my way. Nothing is guarantee, just I thought I would be married have my family living in southern with a successful career - it has definitely not happened yet.
Now I am fed up want too live the USA (I hate it), after because a conscious brother. I want got out this "CUNTRY." You should this video series Success leaving American to South Africa. I will sen you that video to watch.
It is about the choices you make now (cont.)
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
Is there pun intened for the way you spelled "CUNTRY?"
freckles2720 2 years ago
Yes, due to nasty, lies, propaganda, gluttony, thievery, and many evils this country has done from passed to present.
That is why I called it "CUNTRY," the lack of morality and regard for human and animal life is absurd.
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
that will dictate your fate of the future. What you decide instantly know how what you are up against and how to beat the opposition - gave yourself a fighting chance to win, since it is slim to none.
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
What do you mean 'you don't hear me though?'
freckles2720 2 years ago
That means chances you may not listen and take heed to my warning, we must know our TRUE HISTORY and start doing our original concepts and ideologies from the original land. Not this other land we need too learn who we are, and stop assimilating European Culture. This not some so-called "Black Power" talk is cheap pussy nonsense. I am saying reconnect who are you and lineage wise, language, culture, etc. not saying it is easy Sweetheart. I got a lot of work to do myself (cont)
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
This has nothing to do with assimilating to the European Culture. The last relationship I felt he was not respecting himself - so if he was not doing that - then what? What does this have to do with culture, language, lineage wise? And yes, everyday I grow to know myself and what I am about and my history more today than yesterday and better tommorrow. Here's a question for you . Do you know any of these bros that I can meet?
freckles2720 2 years ago
Well, since I don't live in your region (use too live in NJ) all I can tell you that you must focus on my Man's character.
I know it is hard, (I have it bad on my end too) but focus on character qualities. It is situation where you just know.
Ever tried using youtube to find your mate? Do you facebook? Let me know know through a PM. Hang in there, I am doing it myself.
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
Yes, I facebook - do you?
freckles2720 2 years ago
Yes, I just sent you a PM message.
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
But don't be scare to do so.
Take care!
BigBossCAL83 2 years ago
I am sorry it didn't work out, I was so pulling for you.
I totally understand where you are and what you are saying. Most men I run into don't want commitment, they just want something casual.
I think dating outside your race will open up the field, & if you feel good about it, then do it. I thought about, & I see attractive men who are not black, but I'm not there yet. The dating world is so different now.
twinzmommy2 2 years ago
I'm certainly not a person to give ANY advice on "love". I have no experience with it and I don't desire any, but I have to say: I do hope you find what it is you're looking for. We all have our goals in life and the things that really keep us going is the journey to achieve them. Good luck with it. I wish you all the best. :) Keep us posted! And for sure, I want an invite to your wedding! I've always wanted an excuse to make it out to your neck of the woods.
stolenturtle 2 years ago
have you tried social mixers in nearby largers cities?? there's the internet (but we know the risks in that) are you willing to date younger blk men(not too young) who are interested in you?i see nothing wrong without you dating outside your race, but always keep a bigger picture open. also keep in mind, there are still good blk men out here we just either grinding or being overlooked through negativity and myths that were are not productive. but whatever you do be :)
gallyun1 2 years ago
"with you dating"...........i meant
gallyun1 2 years ago
as for myself, i'm a single blk male 33yrs old with no kids, no outstanding debts, no drama (lol) with 15yrs in the army. i'm deployed right now, but the last 5yrs i've been going to school, working side jobs, and juggling my army career. in between all that, i've had little time for dating (plus other reasons) i know several brothers (30's and up)who are single, educated, and productive.
so we are out here........lol but we maybe in a different state or area. solutions for you? cont.
gallyun1 2 years ago
I know the brothers are out there. I just keep finding the ones with more than enough baggage. I have no problem with baggage but the type of baggage I encounter is ... words can't describe it.
You a brother with no kids at your age -- the sistas have to be lining up for you?!?!
freckles2720 2 years ago
usually, if i run across sista who finds out i have no kids there in disbelief or they will think something is wrong with me (downlow) it takes them a minute to see i'm a normal guy.............lol but by then, we usually don't connect cause she assumed the worse about me and i just move on. i have had alot of bad things happen to me but, i don't let that could my judgement about people. some sistas let the negativity get the best of them. cont
gallyun1 2 years ago
so there is a flip-side to this. some sistas overlook the real thing or have a hard time connecting cause "he's too good to be true" ...................but hey what can you do?....lol
gallyun1 2 years ago
pot liquor eh??......................lol i havn't heard that in awhile. (yeah he was kinda hood) freckles i've been a long time fan of your vids (reason, i like sistas who wear their hair natural) i listened to your vid and i'll like to share some things with you.
i think this has alot to do with your environment, think about it......there are brothers all across this nation doing productive things with themselves, but you will never know about it. (negative outweighs the positive) cont.
gallyun1 2 years ago
@gallyun1. Thanks for the compliment about my vids. Funny I don't make them often. I am immersed in this Facebook stuff and the dag ole games. They have me on lock down. CafeWorld, Farmville and My Town. You should see me sweating when I am not near my laptop to play those games.
I love wearing my hair natural. I take very good care of it. Even when it's a mess - it's all good.
PM me.
freckles2720 2 years ago
@gallyun1 I agree it has something to do with environment. For example, everyone on my block is married - everyone. Not a single to be found. If they are single they are not BM's. When I lived in a larger metro area it was somewhat easier and more to choose from.
freckles2720 1 year ago
I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out but "he" is out there. The lack of a plan is not limited to "brothers" ; it is congenital within all males it is just that some overcome it and others need help to overcome. Since 2008 I decided to be a little like Whoopie Goldberg and began dating men (regardless of color) who asked me out and by whom I was intrigued. If they meet your standards ask yourself ; if you would go out with them if they were black? Take a chance, I did.
trevortni07 2 years ago
I am so glad you kicked the trash out of your life! And yes keep the standards up.
I really hope you find someone. Keep all options open.
Love the earrings and hair style. It is u
lilsisa427 2 years ago
Frankly it really doesn't matter. If you love everything about him and he's Anglo or Asian or Hispanic? what does the race matter - just find a man that meets your criteria. I'd prefer a black man, but i won't just date exclusively a black man if a man of another race approaches me and i totally dig him.
Just my .02cents.
Love ya sis & hang in there it will happen,
Doe
Durotha 2 years ago
Hi Freckles2720, I really feel you. It is difficult dating black men. Especially when you're educated, articulate, independent, and assertive. It becomes more of a challenge. It has absolutely nothing to do with money or material possessions. I think you should date outside your race, even if it is just a trial period. Love is blind, it sees no color. So just let go and live.
Trumpesss 2 years ago
I think you should be open minded and keep your options open as far as race, I met my husband online and we will be married for 3 years in May. There are a number of services including google and "been verified" that allow u 2 check people out,for a small fee.
tjbmom123 2 years ago
Good to hear from you and I am sorry about your relationship went to the end. It is not all black men. it is the individual person. Take my advice, if you want to date outside your race, do it for you. There are good black men out there, but they have to find you, you do not have to find them. Take care!!
PillzBerry27 2 years ago
love is love...you can fall in love with a martian if they are walking on this planet.
bahianut 2 years ago
kimmaytube did a really eye opening, inspiring video on online dating which is how she met her husband...i think that may be a great way to start... in the end we are all human we all shed blood, why should color matter?? the sky is the limits..just go with the flow where ever you find it then let it be..
Best wishes
starrsvm 2 years ago
i feel you on so many levels. i have been lucky to find a good black man. even though he has come along with a lot of baggae and he is not on the same level as i am. with his money and his personal goals. deep down he is a good man and there is nothing we cant work thru. keep your head up. i dont agree with dating outside of your race but you have to do what makes you happy. if you cant find it within our own men then maybe you can find it in some other race.
NATURALCAPRICORN23 2 years ago 2
I feel for you Freckles. I married my HS sweetheart and we are still very happy. Pray about it, and live your best life and you will meet the one for you:)
MsKinkydiva 2 years ago
Honey, I totally feel you. I'm 35 (lonesome) and single. I have been trying to remain patient, but it has been very difficult. I have been in one bad situation after another and I'm sooooo tired of running into these lyin ass/sorry ass/untrustworthy ass men! My tolerance for their B.S. is seriously wearing thin. Just within the past month, I've let two potentials know exactly where they can go. My preference is also black men, but I am somewhat open to something new.
brownshuga24 2 years ago 2
As long as your taking this to YouTube, why not use something like Match?
liftsifter 2 years ago 2
Good for you freckles for not settling!. God wants us to live at our fullest potential..There's nothing wrong with wanting someONE (black, white, red or brown)that compliments what you've done in your life that got you where you are!!
watchfuleye2008 2 years ago 3
I think we as Black Women limit ourselves...You don't see black males limiting themselves.
chubbi44 2 years ago 8
girl go for it. i think you will find it refreshing and exciting because there are men of other races are interested in black women. don't let anyone make u feel like you shouldn't either. do what you want, more power to you and your happiness.
LilKitch1 2 years ago 2