Cletus Vandamme: E-Begging For Jesus

[Philipfilip]

make a new Cletus Vandamme video

[ProfessorMacintosh]

@saynotodarwin He just was. And I think you're confusing 'A CRIME' with 'HILARIOUS'.

[lizzand]

Stop taking pictures of me! I don't want any heathern preacher taking my soul!

[jakahn6661]

You left out that loch ness monster and three fitty.

[RadarKat73080]

I gotta pent first, before I can even think about "repenting." How am I gonna repent when I haven't pented in the first place?

[MrJurekGG]

ROTFL

This is fantastic, man.

Tears of laugh on my cheeks.

Thanks, eh.

[wachnathan]

how can you do this with a straight face lol..

[CMAOutlaw]

I shore wood like to give you that new camera but if I do, then the lord sends me ten of them in return, there I'd be trying to sell them on ebay and in these hard times, well, i just don't see them selling and I'd be stuck with ten cameras I don't need. so sorry, but you see my problem, so just hang on to that 35.

[Totothemonkey]

You have way have way to much time on your hands..... idle hands....

[jusguyz]

... do you accept ca$h???

[foiran]

I herd one of those tellievangalists in america told his vewers that god told him he would be killed (by god) if they didnt give him 6 million dollars, and they believed him. morons

[gavinplaysbass]

My dad had that exact same camera for years.

[KurtDonaldCobain1994]

lol he made fun of VFX

[Ilikenuman]

jesus awn the dawg dawr! haha

[SirArthur007]

lol

[MonkeyBallZ214]

LMAO@ "intellectual hypocrisy". How dare you use intelligence to point out the bible's hypocrisies! I guess intelligence is God's kryptonite. God knows if you doubt him, he gets weak in the knees when he gets near you.

[MonkeyBallZ214]

LOL, God just doesn't have enough faith in his people to sponsor them financially. The sheep have created a shepherd out of sticks. The sticks won't stop the wolves from eating them, will they?

[jamestangent69]

Another stupid ignorant atheist.

You spew dumbness and legitimate ignorance.

You spout nonsensical stupidity.

Your hideous videos are transparent attempts to disguise your ugly & disgusting atheistic views and intellectual hypocrisy.

You snake!

[cjvorndran]

fuck off you didnt have to watch it

[Casundia]

You spout negative connotation without substance, rather than actually dismantling an argument.

Emphasizing THAT something is bad holds no ground against explaining WHY it is so. You make yourself look intelligent with intelligent words, but your argument at its core is no more insightful than that of a Kindergardener. Jeff Dunham (as Peanut) says, "Polish a turd, it's still a turd."

[SirPwn4lot]

Lol, the last time I checked he was never hiding his Atheistic views :S

Please provide evidence of all you stated above.

[Evilanious]

Starving africans can now pray for food.

At first I laughed out loud but then I realised hoe big of a problem this thing actually is. Such a waste of money...

[llamalord111]

I know what you mean I was laughing then I realized that they actually do that...

[RadarKat73080]

If I didn't know any better, I would swear you were my brother-in-law. BTW: He was kicked by a horse recently.

[coolbeens21]

lol step one, write uber story about how u are born owning a debt that is unpayable..

step two, convince people that they are utter shit and are worth nothing unless they pay you money in order for you to guarantee the love of the sky daddy.. step 3.. u sit down with a tall glass of ROFLMAO.. im rich biotch! XD

[AWhiteMongoose]

My boyfriend looks like you in this video. When I look at him I laugh. My first thought is,"See there Atheists, you see?"

[soullessgagdoll]

XDDD Jesus on the dog door.

[deepfreeze202]

I think I just figured out how to get rich quick :)

[valu777]

Jesus, yielded up the ghost behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying Truly this was the Son of God.

[valu777]

God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God

[feedyourbrainnow]

Youre going to need some lenses to go with that new camera. I think you might have to start faith healing to come up with the extra cash.

[CiganTheGod]

make another cletus vandamme! :D

[famlyguy343]

he was molested as a child. So now he hate religion!

[skipmeister57]

hey i smoked reefer wit a dirty hippie that looks just like him. he look like a dum ass punk, he talks retarded too

[ZyclonZombie]

Que Suicidal Tendencies "send me your $" theme song here______________

[tamica98121]

haha haha~hah ~ahaha

haha ~haha~haha haha

[Droptopcadillac]

Cletus you didn't give your paypal or anyway we can give brother!!

Good luck photografisin and all them thar ghosts are fast and hard to get on camera fur shur.

[TitanArne]

i love it that you cant keep a straight face all the way through the video hehehe

[montrealpsycho]

Absolutely hilarious!!! Money to build churches so the children can go and pray God to send them some food HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

[ashtool]

Cletus van Dam - the shield hahahahaha

[youtubkicksass]

lol praying jesus for food

[RobHandMusicFilms]

teeheehee! I get it! :P

[estme]

you have a beautiful face, but pleace cut your hair, and cut the crap.

[QUALITYofLIFE]

Don't give up your welfare check just yet.... try McDonalds first... no skill here...

[symmetry08]

You talk kind a greed driven preachers who pretend to be a saviour representitive.Talk like a just a simple human being. Not like those money suckers from church.

[Hugsandslices]

Haha, nice.

[tubeheadz1]

now you sound like Cleveland from Family Guy

[GWTWobsessed]

LMAO I love the Cletus character. These 2 are my favorites

[VersatileMind4Christ]

HILARIOUSSSSSSSS. I hate give me your money ministries. That is hypocrisy. I hope no one feels that is an accurate representation of the faith.

[awreslr2]

I love your humor!

[guh256]

FGT

[mikemikemofo]

when i had virgin mary, i knew i'd hear 'toast' soon.

[jebus6kryst]

This is hilarious. The accent is wonderful.

It is amazing that people actually gave PCS and Zkueker money.

[ARTAUDIOJOTA]

Show us the pictures

[AmazingAtheism]

Abomination, albeit the humor is there but your intent blocks it. Please understand what you are celebrating this CHRISTmas.

[CHVNX]

Yule.

[clairewaldorf2]

"Please understand what you are celebrating "

The Birth of the Invincible Sun.

[VictimOfAnger]

Superman was born on Christmas?

[clairewaldorf2]

Kal-El I am uncertain about. Mithras definitely.

[Atheocracy]

Shut your mouth you moronic cunt.

[lordwilson100]

its satire!

[Atheocracy]

Really? i hadn't noticed. Of course it's satire, I wasn't talking about the video, dip-shit. I was responding to AmazingAtheism's idiotic comment.

[brutus149]

AmazingAtheism, if your God is true, billions of people will go to hell, because of God's other creations.

If God made a computer, he'd give the free will to run any OS you wanted, but if it was anything other than Linux, you'd go to hell, xtian free will ftw.

[ppairan]

PRAISE DA LAWD!

[archimmes]

Sad thing is, there actually is some douche that's gonna buy him a new camera.

Funny video cletus!

[Korbamite]

This was seriously funny.. seriously. Maybe some altruistic atheist will buy you that camera just like with VenomFangX. Thanks for making this funny video.

[nrsims]

hahaha. I just laughed for like 5 minutes at the "build churches for starving children in africa so they can pray for food" That was great!

[sunflowerssunshowers]

I wasn't aware that the name of Jesus could be trademarked. Thanks for the happy thought Cletus.

[politicomark]

I saw a YT video where a guy was E-begging for money to buy a camera to make Ron Paul support videos yesterday. It seems like the Grifters of YT see the communities of "faith", whether they be religious or otherwise, as easy marks for these sorts of schemes. It wouldn't surprise me if there are individuals E-begging for cameras from the Alex Jones/Truther types too.

[Blue556A]

That was fantastic.  Executed very nicely. Thanks for the laughs.

[youtubkicksass]

5/5 great video

[DeletedDelusion]

Awesome

[cain825]

Hahaha, how do you keep a straight face doing this? i know i could not do it. I have seen a pastor do this for a new boiler to heat the building (church)! A poor woman with a new-born baby gave the pastor her last fifty dollars and the pastor told her the same exact thing you said, that the lord would bless her sevenfold, which is total BULLSHIT!

[cain825]

hahahaha, this shit is fucking funny bro!

[telepathyah]

Haha! Awesome video!

[lordcheetah]

We need an XT-9000 space cruiser to spread the word of Jesus Christ to these heathenistic aliens. Send your money now.

[IdleGod]

I'm confused, are you actually asking for money to get a new camera using a hilarious jesus-tard method? Or are you just making fun of those who do it genuinely?

[tooltime9901]

the later. I do plan on buying that camera though.

[GraemeDrummer]

@tooltime9901 dear tool time Fucking Awesome your internet lover

G!

[IHATELIVINGINSOUTHCE]

SHE APPEARS ON BREAD

[PursuitOfReality]

lol

[klangsteiner]

That's one thing I could never understand, why does the "all-powerful jeebuz" need money? I guess when he said "ask and it shall be given to you" he was talking about conning the gullible sheeple of the flock.

[tooltime9901]

well he cannot just rain mana from heaven any more. that was the OLD Testament.

[kutterkoet3r]

i allways beleaved, that turning water into wine was your way to print money xD

[ManicRevelation]

I'm not sure why I thought of this, but Cletus sounds like a guy that would appear on a Grand Theft Auto radio station.

I'm not sure how you didn't laugh when you said you give money to a ministry that builds churches for starving Afri. . . You know what? I don't how I laughed at all. That's pretty annoying, when people ask you to send money to their orginizations for the good of God. Ministers on TBN do it all the time. "You will please God if you support us." You will help inflate God.

[AntiVenomFangX]

agnostics laugh at creationists too

[clownschuhe]

People, I suspect this is a hoax. How come a redneck knows so much about imaging tools? Or use terms such as "35 mm" (french units). A real Cletus would've referred to the camera as a magic box that produces pictures of people and churches when you press a button and then send the plastic mystery scroll inside to a labcoat wearing man named Kodak.

Please refrain from sending any money to this person for now.

[lordcheetah]

Shhh

[FSBlueapocalypse]

You need to start up a seperate channel for Mr. VanDamme. If nothing else as a social experiment to see how many Bible toting fundies subscribe.

[Shalek]

This video reminds me of cletus the fetus

[HumanStrategy]

Jesus needs a PS3 fast! Send me your money and I will convert it into spiritual currency for Jesus! lol

[TheDude0fLife]

C'mon, We're not stupid. Let's see the photos of Jesus on the dog door first! toast? a tortilla? silica concretions on a highway underpass wall? We need to see some evidence that you're really doing it for Jesus!

[Starmexus84]

You look good in that hat peter!

[xNAgff]

I'd love to help, Cletus, but I think our priority should be churches for starving children.

[HumanStrategy]

And by that you mean that there should be a church where starving children should be allowed for worship, right?^^

[Drakkanon]

All that's left for tool is to commit tax fraud come on lets show people we can still be cheap bastards like hovind

[SSanf]

Support the Cletus Vandamme ministries for Jesus!

[Chuloloc]

Awesome. Support Tooltime Ministries. Amen.

[ross185]

Hahah...Ahhh...Cletus.

[xxxDeadheartxxx]

What the hell is Cletus? Australian Negro? HAHAH!!

[GodKillerAtheist]

the spirits only show up on the old chemical film not the digital. The Spirit effect has been debunked several times

[BespokeGroupUK]

nice work :)

[Phoenixyuu]

Jesus is a pie... yummy

[PoopShoot1102]

Satire isn't your strong point.

[guugolpl0x]

AUDIO IN INTROS PLZ

[MikeOfKorea]

Amen! Bruther. I seen the lite!

[FranzDuckVideos]

God has one set-back:

He doesn't know how to make money.

[Zimy0]

Maybe he should consult santa.

[MikeOfKorea]

Ha! ha! God needs to go on the dole... what a bum.

[JaktheAtheist]

uh that's why he has billions of minions to do it for him

[TogetherinPeace]

Cletus, Very Funny Stuff, e-begging is totally lame, especially by Christians and proof they don't believe God will provide for them !

[xWhiteAmericanDevilx]

This is hilarious, and you can tell he's struggling not to smile while he's in Cletus-mode.

[LogicalSanity]

i just love your background xD

[PaulyWard]

I'll give you 10% of my earnings!

[TogetherForPeace]

"for the record, I don't really care if people E-beg, as long as they don't to it with he pretentious self-importance of "doing it for Jesus"

I can't express how ridiculous this sounds given all the various reasons people ebeg but for some reason someone involving some Jesus you don't believe in then it's a big deal. I don't like ppl throwing in Jesus for the purpose of them getting money but I have no way to judge their heart and my reasons are certainly more consistent than yours.

[tooltime9901]

its the self importance that comes from doing "god's good work" rather then just admitting that, for what ever reason, you think that people should simply give you money. if I had money, I would even give you some to replace you camera, because I would like to see you stick around so I can harass you with reply videos. also, A LOT of fraud is usually involved in these sort of things often. have you see "Marjoe"? for example?

[TogetherForPeace]

tool- i can only imagine how many people who have ebegged that we both know that haven't followed through or did what they said they were going to do with the money. i really don't see consistency in your position not that it really matters to people on youtube.

[tooltime9901]

I guess Jack, that when push comes to shove,I really don't care is people want to throw their money away helping, be it for Jesus or anyone else. i just thinking that playing the Jesus card to get people's money for what amounts to someone's own personal gain is sleazy.

[leorcc]

Anyone seen the Mary in the MRI scan? Hilarious.

[itreius]

Imho, your acting was even better this time :)

Looking forward to seeing more Cletus vids

[th3w01fv2]

Why does that remind me of VenomfangX's e-begging.

[StreetlightEagle]

i love cletus

[Emil246]

can i get a camera also?

[TehBloggaar]

JEWSUS KRISHNA! Excellent character and skit, Peter. You're a great educator and entertainer, and this video is a clear sign of that.

Very funny!

[Ishmulel]

"View all 3 comments"

WTF? there's more then 3 comments. o_O

[GoldenRatio]

On toast lol.

[Sarahon06]

Amen, Cletus!

[Knowntje]

Ya'll doin sum hell of a fahn job from jeeesuz my mate

[SkepticalAtheist]

"Build churches so starving kids can pray to Jebus for food"

It's all in good humor, but sadly enough, it's also true.

[Stitchman3875]

Cletus, you still haven't answered my question are you related to Jean Claude Van Damme?

[tooltime9901]

do I look french?

[Amadeojd]

Does he? :P

[Stitchman3875]

Actually Van Damme is Belgian. But you do look a little French. LOL!!!

[xxxchaindrive]

I fully suport yu revrund, my chek is in the male. prase be to yor gud work.

[palmtreez101]

I fucked the virgin Mary, so therefore she ain't a virgin no more.

[Twobitz1]

CLETUS FOR PRESIDENT

[TylerNull]

Liberalism is the world's most intolerant religion.

Unable to withstand inspection of their depraved mysticism, they regress to mocking their contrived notions of the competing theology they most hate -- Christianity.

Of course, that's to be expected of those whose morality is so perverse that it requires its devotees to always take whatever side will maximally exterminate innocent human life.

Liberals & Bigots -- Life Partners

[MilesB1975]

You must be from America, the only English speaking population in the world who think the term liberal is derogatory.

What do you think Liberal means? I would love to hear YOUR definition...

It say's a lot about how you think about the value of words. Try looking up liberal in a dictionary.

The rest of the world is watching.