once again I really want to say. THANKS FOR SHARING. We are the lucky ones it seems..I mean if in 'every day' you are more guarded....does this mean that we are enjoying the richer interior of you? all-in-all I am always delighted to watch and listen to your videos.
You have an incredible amount of self insight Charles, you truly inspire me. Your vids are terrific that include discussion around the important issues in life, the depth of what being human being actually is... most people never learn that depth that you have. Normal is boring anyway. You only live once :) You are beautiful just the way you are..
Why the hell would I have subscribed to your channel if you were "normal"?!?!?!
I wouldn't have known there were so many colors in the rainbow if I hadn't come across your candy-coated, marshmallow masculinity with a side of hard-core dark chocolate femininity. You OWN it, like nobody else can.
God, u really dig in yourself in such a way, I like it, nd it's funny 2c u talking because (4 sure you've heard it before and I'm concious of how silly it sounds but) we r very alike in this constant and deep self-analysis. I think it's great, u can be proud of yourself, all that analysis seems to work in a very positive way: u r not just tough but also a very reasonable person with a self mind and a sweet heart,at the same time not arrogant at all, nothing like the man u saw once in the mirror.
you are so emotionally in touch and that is such a strength but I feel like probably a lot of people don't understand that. It's such a gift and you should know that!
I've always considered myself a very feminine person first and foremost, despite identifying as ftm. Recently I've been realizing that I actually have a masculine side!That's a big deal as I totally didn't recognize that it was there AT ALL, I spent all my efforts trying to embrace my feminine side. Yeah, I seem to hold myself back from both sides. You seem to be very free with your traits and clothes that society would label "feminine" or "woman" and I find that very inspiring.
funny, I went on estrogen and started cross-dressing as male pretty quickly... i don't even know if i identify as female some days, but i definitely don't identify as male.
I think the camera provides a sort of safety net. We can't talk back here. I mean we can, but it's in text and you can choose to respond or ignore. In real life, you are more vulnerable. Ever notice how people can be terribly ballsy with email/texting...much more so than they would be if they were face-to-face with someone?
as an adult at all. so i can't draw from those experiences. but i feel like this is empowering because i have seen so many people hurt that can have the opportunity to see someone embody masculinity yet be gentle and kind and respectful. i know that in at least one instance that made the difference for someone and helped them set their bar higher as far as respect for themselves. just because something has been used by others as a weapon doesn't mean we can't effectively use it as a tool. ;)
Charles, i have put a lot of thought into what you're saying about masculinity. i've had discussions with people before over this... a lot of people who haven't had good experiences with men seem to feel this way. i have had really good male role models and i have no qualms in identifying with my masculinity at whatever degree because i don't tie that to these other negative ideas about men that are often true which further perpetuates that fear in many people. i didn't date men seriously
I actually really like your hair cut too :) it can be difficult for any man(trans or not) to have to put that tough guy macho mask on, but it isn't that big of a deal. Forget about the insecurities and let your guard down a bit. Hopefully it'll loosen you up some and get a lot of weight off your shoulders. Hang in there! <3
I am listening to you partly because of that you are pushing the boundaries of what is normal. You make me feel that you are a normal person because you are so honest with being outside the norm. You inspire me to feel more okay with myself. You are not an ordinary person, but I think that is part of what's so beautiful about you.
I definitely understand fearing the masculine parts of yourself, feeling like a sexual predator. It's some real shit, and for me has so much to do with internalized homophobia and misogyny. I'm a queer ciswoman and transperson who's attracted primarily to queer women, and I often feel like a predator in my sexual relationships. There's a lot of real stuff in that. I also hope you know you don't have to resolve this immediately. It's ok to not understand what's goin on in urself right away.
I'm very introspective as well, and I relate so much to the hidden places in yourself, but I'm still very outgoing and seem very open. Watching your videos for the last couple years - watching you process these kinds of things - has taught me a lot about myself.
I sometimes wonder what your identity is, or what pronouns you even use... and you know, it's somewhat enjoyable to NOT know. When we use terms to define ourselves, there's an inherent imprisonment in DEFINITION, isn't there?
Mind you, I'm not pointing fingers; I sometimes wonder what MY identity really is. There's a HELL of a lot more to that than semantics/ terminology or pronouns!
I sometimes wonder what your identity is, or what pronouns you even use... and you know, it's somewhat enjoyable to NOT know. When we use terms to define ourselves, there's an inherent imprisonment in DEFINITION, isn't there?
Mind you, I'm not point fingers; I sometimes wonder what MY identity really is. There's a HELL of a lot more to that than semantics/ terminology or pronouns!
I totally feel you about looking in the mirror - my father is the big button-pusher in my life, and while I have a stocky German background on both sides of my family, I'm starting to look EXACTLY like my dad, which I'm still dealing with (in a very "I am not my dad. I am not my dad. I am not my dad" sort of way.
I feel so trapped by language sometime. Especially the whole 'trans masculine'/'trans feminine' binary. Or really the binary of all gendered language. I looove your vids Charlie! I relate to you SO much! Thanks for sharing.
Emotional haircut? And I thought I was the only one! Great video, Charles. It floors me how articulate and self-aware you are. I can also relate to your struggling with masculinity - these things take enormous amounts of processing. I've found youtube to be a great place to do that, also. And something tells me with your ability to observe and so eloquently name all of the nuances of your character, you'll find your answers. Even if the questions continue to change, which they no doubt will.
Charles when i look and listen to you ... i kind of see me (future me). I have to fight giving myself emotional hair cuts all the time because my hair holds my ability to "pass" right now. Even though i want to see a more masculine person when i look in the mirror i worry if i will conect with that or not...for similar reasons to why you started cross dressing. Im glad you are happy with who you are in the world because you are awesome.
I love all your videos and you are just brilliant and you make me feel better about things. thank you :) x
felixislucky 5 months ago
once again I really want to say. THANKS FOR SHARING. We are the lucky ones it seems..I mean if in 'every day' you are more guarded....does this mean that we are enjoying the richer interior of you? all-in-all I am always delighted to watch and listen to your videos.
GunsNRosesTrans 5 months ago in playlist More videos from freshlycharles
thank you for your candour, i find your vlog to be extraordinarily insightful.
girlcrimsonalt 6 months ago
You look neon pink
TheEureka41 7 months ago
Omg you crack me up Charles..your my favorite trans Thang haha
megowaf 8 months ago
That was beautiful and you said some really important things I'll be thinking about. Thanks Charles.
MrChicael 8 months ago
You have an incredible amount of self insight Charles, you truly inspire me. Your vids are terrific that include discussion around the important issues in life, the depth of what being human being actually is... most people never learn that depth that you have. Normal is boring anyway. You only live once :) You are beautiful just the way you are..
AussieFTM 8 months ago
you look very alien whit those almost invisible eyebrows xD
feefuup 8 months ago
have you ever taken a myers briggs personality test. are you an infj?
liabw05 8 months ago
Why the hell would I have subscribed to your channel if you were "normal"?!?!?!
I wouldn't have known there were so many colors in the rainbow if I hadn't come across your candy-coated, marshmallow masculinity with a side of hard-core dark chocolate femininity. You OWN it, like nobody else can.
Peace,
Cyn
Cyntillation01 8 months ago
I feel this. Except for that candy part because, I have cavities. Much Love to You.
RobGreatness 8 months ago
God, u really dig in yourself in such a way, I like it, nd it's funny 2c u talking because (4 sure you've heard it before and I'm concious of how silly it sounds but) we r very alike in this constant and deep self-analysis. I think it's great, u can be proud of yourself, all that analysis seems to work in a very positive way: u r not just tough but also a very reasonable person with a self mind and a sweet heart,at the same time not arrogant at all, nothing like the man u saw once in the mirror.
IVERN7 8 months ago
you are so emotionally in touch and that is such a strength but I feel like probably a lot of people don't understand that. It's such a gift and you should know that!
bleachhead226 8 months ago
It's been a minute Charles, only after watching your video I found myself realizing how much I have actually missed your videos!!
This was a very OMG me too video, lol!!
Geministudd1 8 months ago
I've always considered myself a very feminine person first and foremost, despite identifying as ftm. Recently I've been realizing that I actually have a masculine side!That's a big deal as I totally didn't recognize that it was there AT ALL, I spent all my efforts trying to embrace my feminine side. Yeah, I seem to hold myself back from both sides. You seem to be very free with your traits and clothes that society would label "feminine" or "woman" and I find that very inspiring.
quietfern 8 months ago
Oh my god, as you were listing your defensive mechanisms all I could think was "me too, me too, me too!"
bookishdandy 8 months ago
funny, I went on estrogen and started cross-dressing as male pretty quickly... i don't even know if i identify as female some days, but i definitely don't identify as male.
tiresianphoenix 8 months ago
I think the camera provides a sort of safety net. We can't talk back here. I mean we can, but it's in text and you can choose to respond or ignore. In real life, you are more vulnerable. Ever notice how people can be terribly ballsy with email/texting...much more so than they would be if they were face-to-face with someone?
eawass 8 months ago
as an adult at all. so i can't draw from those experiences. but i feel like this is empowering because i have seen so many people hurt that can have the opportunity to see someone embody masculinity yet be gentle and kind and respectful. i know that in at least one instance that made the difference for someone and helped them set their bar higher as far as respect for themselves. just because something has been used by others as a weapon doesn't mean we can't effectively use it as a tool. ;)
youcancallmethedude 8 months ago
Charles, i have put a lot of thought into what you're saying about masculinity. i've had discussions with people before over this... a lot of people who haven't had good experiences with men seem to feel this way. i have had really good male role models and i have no qualms in identifying with my masculinity at whatever degree because i don't tie that to these other negative ideas about men that are often true which further perpetuates that fear in many people. i didn't date men seriously
youcancallmethedude 8 months ago
I actually really like your hair cut too :) it can be difficult for any man(trans or not) to have to put that tough guy macho mask on, but it isn't that big of a deal. Forget about the insecurities and let your guard down a bit. Hopefully it'll loosen you up some and get a lot of weight off your shoulders. Hang in there! <3
sweetdeathofi 8 months ago
I am listening to you partly because of that you are pushing the boundaries of what is normal. You make me feel that you are a normal person because you are so honest with being outside the norm. You inspire me to feel more okay with myself. You are not an ordinary person, but I think that is part of what's so beautiful about you.
plott86 8 months ago
I definitely understand fearing the masculine parts of yourself, feeling like a sexual predator. It's some real shit, and for me has so much to do with internalized homophobia and misogyny. I'm a queer ciswoman and transperson who's attracted primarily to queer women, and I often feel like a predator in my sexual relationships. There's a lot of real stuff in that. I also hope you know you don't have to resolve this immediately. It's ok to not understand what's goin on in urself right away.
findnwatch88 8 months ago
Best video. Made my night.
dimidarko79 8 months ago
haha love the taste test!! the hair looks great!
SELKILKT 8 months ago
ur wonderful
84source 8 months ago
Great Video.
tfpunk1979 8 months ago
I'm very introspective as well, and I relate so much to the hidden places in yourself, but I'm still very outgoing and seem very open. Watching your videos for the last couple years - watching you process these kinds of things - has taught me a lot about myself.
vinylreality 8 months ago
I sometimes wonder what your identity is, or what pronouns you even use... and you know, it's somewhat enjoyable to NOT know. When we use terms to define ourselves, there's an inherent imprisonment in DEFINITION, isn't there?
Mind you, I'm not pointing fingers; I sometimes wonder what MY identity really is. There's a HELL of a lot more to that than semantics/ terminology or pronouns!
infrequentvlogs 8 months ago
I sometimes wonder what your identity is, or what pronouns you even use... and you know, it's somewhat enjoyable to NOT know. When we use terms to define ourselves, there's an inherent imprisonment in DEFINITION, isn't there?
Mind you, I'm not point fingers; I sometimes wonder what MY identity really is. There's a HELL of a lot more to that than semantics/ terminology or pronouns!
infrequentvlogs 8 months ago
I totally feel you about looking in the mirror - my father is the big button-pusher in my life, and while I have a stocky German background on both sides of my family, I'm starting to look EXACTLY like my dad, which I'm still dealing with (in a very "I am not my dad. I am not my dad. I am not my dad" sort of way.
giftedboi 8 months ago
I feel so trapped by language sometime. Especially the whole 'trans masculine'/'trans feminine' binary. Or really the binary of all gendered language. I looove your vids Charlie! I relate to you SO much! Thanks for sharing.
0HeyJude0 8 months ago
cant wait to see you again!!
smithsmithboy 8 months ago
I love your videos forever.
Hundkoppel 8 months ago
We are forever progress.
There is no endpoint to our progress, and if there were, it wouldn't be "normalcy". :)
quesati 8 months ago
I LOVE SAFARI DISCO. She's gorgeous and so are you Charles!
shamalakable 8 months ago
you make me so happy.
JiMiXdyourGF 8 months ago
Emotional haircut? And I thought I was the only one! Great video, Charles. It floors me how articulate and self-aware you are. I can also relate to your struggling with masculinity - these things take enormous amounts of processing. I've found youtube to be a great place to do that, also. And something tells me with your ability to observe and so eloquently name all of the nuances of your character, you'll find your answers. Even if the questions continue to change, which they no doubt will.
muzzlemuzzleme 8 months ago
that's a really pleasant sky. :]
sirgroot9 8 months ago
i just feel like the longer ive been on T and the longer i transition and the more it goes unnoticed and i feel like it gets harder to deal with
iliveinacubicle 8 months ago
is it bad that im guarded? is it bad that i dont tell anybody about myself? :/
i feel sooo vulnerable when people know, i end up verbally and im afraid something physical could happen someday from the wrong person finding out?
iliveinacubicle 8 months ago
i eat those baby bottle pops whenever i can find them
iliveinacubicle 8 months ago
Charles when i look and listen to you ... i kind of see me (future me). I have to fight giving myself emotional hair cuts all the time because my hair holds my ability to "pass" right now. Even though i want to see a more masculine person when i look in the mirror i worry if i will conect with that or not...for similar reasons to why you started cross dressing. Im glad you are happy with who you are in the world because you are awesome.
BlatantGenderFuck 8 months ago