Bum Reviews - Breaking Dawn Part 1

[IntimidatingUnicorn1]

"But you forget, Edward stares at me."

*Stare*

*Sigh...*

[jasonversus]

Thanks for the good laugh

[TheRPM2015]

@joshscorcher ah, Josh, this is why I'm subscribed to you. You have common sense.

[Kaiju17]

Marriage, sex, and abortion? You forgot the allusions to grooming and pedophilia. Why does no one see it, it's as clear as day! These books are sick!

[insertusednamehere0]

0:46

Chester spit on the camera. XD

[desolate2]

At 1st I thought he was going to say the movie sucked lol. I was gonna be like HELL NO! The 1st 3 books AND movies sucked balls, but the last book & this part 1 of the movie rock.

[joshscorcher]

I don't get it. If a vampire's heart stops when they turn...how does the blood go to their...and how does it.............

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

[desolate2]

@joshscorcher lol No, it doesn't make sense. Not only does the blood flow stop, but they can't secrete anything. They can't cry tears, have boogers, nothing, soooo makes you wonder how they keep the semen up & running on that ship lol

[greatgmasta1]

@joshscorcher yeah underworld explained it better

[DarnalllbsgSheri]

hes sooo sexy leakedmovies . biz

[Mrated333]

Do you think these reviews would be funnier or not if the Bum got the real actors saying this stuff?

[Peteman12]

I can believe that no human has ever had sex with a vampire and gotten pregnant, largely because they supposedly make it out that no human would be able to survive sex with a vampire.

[c0mf0rta61ynum6]

Part 2 of Breaking Dawn is coming out on November 16, 2012...the same day I turn 21! I know what I'm doing!!!!

[EmmaOnATangent]

Dude, it's a good think the bum has never read the books. I'm surprised Alex Day got through it - it might actually kill Chester.

[1805movie]

"All the girls start crying and all of the boys brake out the champagne." Laugh Out Loud!

[XxToKyOmEwxX]

You know it's bad when the bum thinks the movie blows.

[lovemusic1007]

bring out the champagne!!

[avojaifnot]

0:47

He actually (and accidentally) SPITS at the camera while making the "p" sound

[blatantlyable]

i totally saw that blade one coming and i still couldnt help but crack up

[metallichika]

give the bum some change you guys! the theatre wont give him a refund for watching that pile of ass :( poor guy

[Devman60006]

he likes all movies right! the bum must love batman and robin!

[Horatio786]

The Twilight Series: A guilty pleasure of all mankind, which mankind scorns and hates whenever it is brought up in public.

[MrCrossoverer]

P.S. The Twilight Franchise I mean

[MrCrossoverer]

Blade? I thought of Alucard from Castlevania, either way THE FRANCHISE BLOWS!

[TheSnoopingMouse]

Well, in the book (And the second part of this film that isn't released) there WAS a child of a vampire and human, but it is rare, however I still find it hard to beleive it doesn;t happen more often.

[BooBop1987]

Wow!

[TheSarcasticChicken2]

spoony's review is funny even though he's SO depressed.

[SilverVulpine]

*I WANT OUT OF THIS PRETENTIOUSNESS!!!*

xD lol!

[FShipper25]

"I'm going to suck..."

A. your money.

B. your soul.

C. at acting.

D. your blood.

E. (fill in the blank)

[DuchessAliana]

@FShipper25 F. all of the above

[MadameParanoia]

@FShipper25 E. All except D

[bluecole1]

heh. You know whats funny? My friend (witch is a boy) made a deal with his mom to see this movie and in return she would take him to gamestop and buy him the legend of zelda :skyward sword. I wondered if it was worth it???

[optimusprime23able]

If Dracula and The Wolfman were to watch the 1st Twilight to this movie, Dracula would stab a steak through his heart and the wolfman would shoot himself with a silver bullet in the 1st 5 minutes.

[Loveforgotten1]

I peed my pants ._.

[TheHeartMystic]

Okay, HOW THE HELL DOES A VAMPIRE HAVE SEX

[shadowgamer98]

@TheHeartMystic Finally someone also asks that question! HOW? i mean he's dead, he should no longer be able to have sex and even if he could how does a dead person make a living person pregnant?

[TheHeartMystic]

@shadowgamer98 lol, Yeah! And everyone says that maybe its his venom that replaces his blood! If its his venom, then when they had sex, shouldn't that have that changed Bella? lmao, aww, look at us, trying to put logic in Twilight XD

[jetiscute1]

Shhshhshh...I'm Edward.

[SuperMysticButterfly]

@drGnockerz IS THAT SO?

[SuperMysticButterfly]

@shadowknight95 oh trust me i have, his just happened to be the best one and series of films :P

[TheGeoshark]

btw Chester you forgot the part where Jacob's a pedophile!

[ChiChiMooglet]

@TheGeoshark Eh, he'll hit that one in the next review.

[TheSnowyice]

A vampire's cum sparkles. XD

[TheGeoshark]

@TheSnowyice Frozen Yogurt?

[bart11114]

Really Bella? You're marrying the guy you always said you wanted to marry and you're still not satisfied? What more do you want?! Hell Kim Kardashian had a happier marriage then you and I didn't even think that was possible until now!

[GABYINCUBUSMcCARTNEY]

Does he sparkle...down there?

[FrozenWolf150]

How ridicule worthy will Breaking Dawn Part 2 be? Let's just say that it's bound to turn into a real lol-icon.

[beautyineverythingxx]

@FrozenWolf150 if it's anything like the book it's going to be actually really boring except for a few lolarious scenes. seriously, the second half of the book could've been summed up in 50 pages but dragged on for like 400.

[Swordsmanofthedark]

@FrozenWolf150 XD I see what you did there.

[dottiedots221]

"I'm Edward."

"SHUT UP!"

"...I don't think that how it works..."

"It's Twilight!

"Yeah!"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Best parts XD

[Gigigiritina]

Marriage, sex and abortion. That's what every girl thinks about

[oobietime8]

If the vampires stay the age they were bitten at, then why does the baby grow at all?

[SuperTheexplosion]

so a vampire has never f***ed a human before. ballshit!

and also why does the were wolf not have a girlfriend? how many things does he do in this franchise for bella?!

[SuperTheexplosion]

so a vampire has never f***ed a human before. ballshit!

[zillafire101]

@SuperTheexplosion " It's Twilight."

[SilverPinkBunny]

-tosses him 100 dollars in chash- for your mental health after seeing that GOD AWFUL film.

[Ichigo9913]

twist: the baby's black.

A CHALLENGER APPEARS

[crazyseandx]

wait part ONE?!!? either they are copying the harry potter franchise in order to make more money rather than tell the actual story or they want us to suffer even more.

[nodinitiative]

@crazyseandx yup, part one, two and what a twist...PART THREE...And Part Three will be out on 21st December 2012...End of Days BITCH :(

[Lonewolfjedi]

God, I can't wait till this whole Twilight craze is over then us normal people could get on with our lives

[twilightwindwaker]

Come to think about it I saw a Parody on how it should of ended with Twilight. Blade is with Edward and Blade is like "Vampires can't survive in sunlight!" and Edward is like "They do in my world!" "Ugh I think I'm going to be sick."

[twilightwindwaker]

No seriously keep your shirt onTHERE IT GOES ONE SECOND AND IT'S GONE! Don't worry we're using protection. Garlic? Wait you're not even using birth control? Hehhehheh no. NYANYANYANYA AAAAAAHHHHHH! She has a dhampir inside her. OH MY GOD SHE'S GIVING BIRTH TO BLADE! It's open season on all sparklers. The baby tries to kill her? Since when did dhampirs kill humans? ABOMINA... IT'S HALF YOURS! Edward stares at me O_O. I WANT OUT OF THIS PRETENTIOUSNESS! It's Twilight. I AM GOING TO SUCK...

[skeletonking1234]

Imagine what sex with a female vampire is like.

........NYANANANANANANANA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Sutidude]

Boy after hearing Doug's real review, I got so angry.

This series has always pissed me off, but it looks like this one is even more insulting.

[mephilel2112]

so edward feels like batman, cool. Bullcrap

[TheMovieSequelDude49]

Will you marry my SPOILERS? Umm... no thanks...

[Zdude3255]

I WANT OUT OF THIS PRETENTIOUSNESS!

[shadeslay406]

This was the only thing that made me excited about this movie coming out.

[andyrihn1]

uknow for a bum he sure sees a lot of movies

[blader09111]

every time someone says blade on YouTube, it feels like they're talking to me

[CatatonicKuroneko]

I'm Edward...

[LegionIscariot]

She's not giving birth to Blade, silly,...she's giving birth to Wesley Snipes! Totally different.

[twilightwindwaker]

@LegionIscariot I thought she was giving birth to Eric Brooks (Blade's real name).

[ChrisandSimon]

OMG THIS IS THE GREATEST REVIEW I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

[evilmonkey3656]

does he sparkle..... down there?

[SuperKittycat5]

This was the BOMB!! Laughed and laughed

[hackensac]

just wait till you see the Doug Walker review

[syruss877]

pedobear approves, go jacob

[Pooky1991]

It's gonna get funnier when the 2nd one comes outXD I still don't know why they thought 2 parts was a good idea. Just wait. Its gonna be like Alien, Splice, or some shi with that baby. Plus the ending is gonna be a huge cop out as well. Imagine how this series would be if something interesting actually happened, like, for example, an actual war.

[longliveoakenfold87]

I must find Simon Belmont, implant him within Stephanie Meyer's story, and solve this problem called Twilight once and for a while

[Teddyngham]

According to Doug Walker, this might be the worst movie ever.

[TheSasuke76]

I saw his actual review of it on TGWTG.com, I've never seen him so pissed before !

[SuperMysticButterfly]

funny review man, but twilight breaking dawn was the best film in the world love it :D

[Gearheadmk2]

@SuperMysticButterfly WRONG!

[SuperMysticButterfly]

@Gearheadmk2 NO?

[DrGnockerz]

@SuperMysticButterfly

Bum: "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE DUMBEST PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!"

[Boehoehuahoei]

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MO....!!!!

BLAM!!!!!!

that's the sound of me shooting you in the face!!!!

[thezoider049820]

lol funny video but the movie was horrible

[RedBaronTDL]

Doug's review for this is amazing! even better than the bum review.

[dragoon650]

LMAO!!!!!

[stickAran]

YOU KNOW i actully thought same thing when i thought half vampire half human i instantly thought blade:P

[MrCrossoverer]

@stickAran But no we just get a NORMAL looking baby, WHO BREAKS THE BONES OF HER MOTHER FROM CHILDBIRTH DESPITE NO SIGN OF ANY DEFORMITY ON THE CHILD'S BODY.

[video64ps2]

i'm so confused if the babies born and shes fine then whats left to do?

[Skullsword94]

@video64ps2 it's twilight, give it 2 months

[video64ps2]

@Skullsword94 good point

[wildefice1]

@video64ps2 im ashamed to admit this but i read the last book

it turns out halving a half breed is illegal and is punishble by death so the boss vampires in italy give them a visit

i dont know if you like the book or not but im not gonna spoil it

unless of course the people of youtube dont care lol

[video64ps2]

@wildefice1 no idc enough to read it but ok i guess i shoulda thought of them showing up

[GaiashKetoji]

@wildefice1 Nothing to spoil since nothing happens.

[superslama456]

First



[NostalgiaCriticFan7]

it`s almost over people

[E07WORLD]

@NostalgiaCriticFan7

???

[EraOfLegends]

@NostalgiaCriticFan7 i hope

[BeastWarsFan]

@NostalgiaCriticFan7 Not soon enough!

BWF

[DrGnockerz]

@NostalgiaCriticFan7 Not soon enough, we have to wait another whole year.

[lucashof1]

@NostalgiaCriticFan7

Thank god yes it almost destroyed vampire movies in general.