Bert Kreischer ( The Machine) Russian Mafia Story | Joe Rogan Experience |

[thefriendsociety]

not sure about this story i want to believe but questions were answered strangely.

[NoJiggaboo]

It's stories like this that make Rogan's podcast awesome.

[ElMakz]

the mob is still running russia.

[pismostroch]

Cool story bro.

[Shonem]

He should sell the movie rights on this.

LOL

[mrundeadfox]

Yeah, I don't know about this story...

[JusticeVonBrandt]

this story is fake as fuck

[SillyBoyShow]

@JusticeVonBrandt why you say that

[fatguyanthony]

lololol

[nikeairag]

well, haha fuck russia

[ChaosResolution]

A few of us made a video based on this episode using WoW, and Bert Kreischer himself retweeted so I think he liked it. Check it out on my channel!

[Xkommi]

Bert does not know sh-t abut russia and full of I HAVE BEEN TO RUSSIA, SO I AM A BAD ASS. Run by mob? hahaha! First try to pronounce russian words properly then please dont lie about russian realities. this is embarassing... Pojalusta, amerikanski debil.

[DoctorNambu]

@Xkommi Shut the fuck up russian faggot. 

[grandaddynative]

Something is off about Bert. There is this shady insincerity about his personality. Don't know what it is. He's really funny at times and than sometimes he seems shadily fake.

[SillyBoyShow]

@grandaddynative what

[biffula]

Rogan can't keep his freakin' mouth shut. He steps all over a great story. Shut the fuck up Rogan you fuckin' Tard!!!!

[3732334]

that guy is full of shit

[astralravenify]

который кинул мне ссылку на chatwind!!!

[lllRestivelll]

@astralravenify см личку

[astralravenify]

эй, дружище, который кинул мне ссылку на это видео, отзовись)

[DakotaPlaysGuitar]

i heard this on preston and steve on 93.3 wmmr on the morning show, it was so good they asked him to come back the next day like on joe dirt haha one of the best stories I've ever heard

[gregdoh]

one of the greatest stories ever. And who gives a flying fuck if it's made up or not.

[ThePolakVet]

This story is bullshit, why?

1) Russian gangsters use nicknames, they would be introduced by nicknames not real names.

2) The Russian Mafiya didn't send bodyguard to the people they extorted and no way a excursion group could be extorted, that's just unrealistic like what can you get from a excursion group? They would just better rob them not protect them.

3) Russian Mob running some train? Russian Mob Boss party? He wouldn't be let near the boss in the 90's unless he's bringing money to him.

[terrytoughcarnt]

That story is 100% bullshit, even Joe calls him on it in a sneaky way. While Bert is getting all excited Joe slips in @what side of the road do they drive on over there" and Bert has no fuckin idea... You live somewhere for 3 months and you don't know which way the cars go, FUCK OFF!!! There was no need for Joe to ask the question it had no bearing on the story he just wanted to see exactly how bulllshit the story was

[Axerty1234]

@terrytoughcarnt yeah who remembers small details like that shit from 15-20 years ago when he probably didn't drive at all.

[phantomrider78]

@terrytoughcarnt He did not call him on anything. Do you remember minor details from 15-20 years ago? Why would he be driving when most of the people there don't even own automobiles? Rogan was not trying to hang him out to dry, just asking a question.

[ThePolakVet]

@phantomrider78 People in Russia don't own cars? You think it's some Africa?

[phantomrider78]

@ThePolakVet In the early 90's when the that entire block was now trying to adapt to post-communism, everybody there was financially f$cked. To own a car at that time was a luxury, and in the bigger cities, the people relied on mass-transit. No it's no Africa, Jackass. Don't comment about a place you have never been to.

[ThePolakVet]

@phantomrider78 I know how it was in 90's, I grew up in 90's and I know how it was. It wasn't so luxury, if you were middle class you could own a car one of them old ones like Zaparozhech, Zhigul', Moskvich, Volga.

Doesn't change the subject that his story is completely made up as he doesn't know what he's talking about.

[phantomrider78]

@ThePolakVet sure you did.

[ThePolakVet]

@phantomrider78 Yeah, I see that you're going to believe some guy who has made up a story of him partying in Russia, lol.

[phantomrider78]

@ThePolakVet sort of like somebody believing your story too, huh?

[magickenco]

@ThePolakVet Pussy bitch, like you know anything about the russian mob, faggot.

[ThePolakVet]

@magickenco You can go and shove up all your childish insults in your wide asshole. Got a lot more sense of Russian Crime groups than any of these childish naive kids over here commenting how Bert's their hero.

[BrazzleDazzleINC]

lmao joe and redban's faces at 5:31

[MoshpitAchilles]

Wow, that's fucking incredible. I was going apeshit cheering and shit when the cops asked about The Machine. That was fucking fun to listen to

[Microphonechecka2]

I love how Joe asks about Fedor when Bert goes through the common names in Russia, the last emperor is the first thing that pops up in my head too when talking about Russia

[Justen1980]

sasha is short for alexander, so only 2 names in russia

[nedzob]

@Justen1980 no its not!

[lllRestivelll]

@nedzob yes it is

[phantomrider78]

@lllRestivelll No, it's not.

[benji4100]

@nedzob ah yes it is well alexander or alexandra it can be male or female

[nedzob]

@benji4100 ok I thought because here in my country is sasha a real name not a short for alexander, so that it is the same in russia

[dopeboyhero]

lmao this is absolutely hilarious

[BassCityDubstep]

ahahah @ 5:24 dude on the rights face, priceless

[MrTadpole16]

so fuckin epic

[mrguermo1]

i dont like how joe doesnt even question whether or not its true. i have to know

[booch316]

@mrguermo1 It's 100% true.

[mrguermo1]

@booch316 credentials pleease

[bigdan7489]

what a great fucking story....if what he's saying ACTUALLY happend? what a great fucking story

[rezwanborja]

машина

[Shizzmonger]

love joes reaction to the vodka spit.

[duffmanthegreat]

Funny story, but I really dont think its true, why would the mob need to follow a class of tourists around? Also, the Police probably wouldn't just start drinking with the mafia.

[justthebestgolfer]

@duffmanthegreat My frd a couple of yrs ago went2study in Denmark&when he finished his course4his masters Degree.He travel all over Europe&went2Moscow.While he was drinking outside near the Red Square area.He was approached by some cops&they were goin arrest my frd&his buddy.But the cops didnt really want2arrest him,they just wanted a bribe/money from him.So they were bargaining on how much they would have2give the cops.So YES Russia still has alot of corruption in the Country to this day dude!

[justthebestgolfer]

@duffmanthegreat This story was back in 1993 when Russia was a FUCKED UP country.The mob ran everything&controlled the city from every1coming in&out of it.So thats Y the mob needed money from schools.The mob was protecting the tourists cause they probably were alot of scams&muggings@that time.

Dude the police never started drinking with the mafia??? He NEVER said that in his story..lol.The police only wanted2drink with BERT aka "THE MACHINE"...lmfao:)

[duffmanthegreat]

@justthebestgolfer Ya, I know of the corruption and the mob's power but I just cant see an american tourist being a super popular party animal in Russia. Just really cant believe it.

[justthebestgolfer]

@duffmanthegreat Dude this guy had an article written about him on Rolling Stone Magazine about him being the best Party Animal in that year or decade.This guys loud, funny (not many funny guys during that time in Russia), knows how to drink&have fun.Basically hes the life@the party.He has other crazy stories about Tracey Morgan & when he worked@Barns&Nobles so U could tell that hes a WILD dude&a fun guy2hangout with.I really can C this guy being even funnier when hes DRUNK OF HIS ASS..LOL!!!!=)

[theDC4L]

@duffmanthegreat The movie Van Wilder, is based off Bert Kreischer college life.

[romanianskill]

this guy thinks he's amazing, he's just an arrogant prick...

[ifone77]

@romanianskill agreed

russia in the first place was never like that

[justthebestgolfer]

@ifone77 My frd a couple of yrs ago went2study in Denmark&when he finished his course4his masters Degree.He travel all over Europe&went2Moscow.While he was drinking outside near the Red Square area.He was approached by some cops&they were goin arrest my frd&his buddy.But the cops didnt really want2arrest him,they just wanted a bribe/money from him.So they were bargaining on how much they would have2give the cops.So YES Russia still has alot of corruption in the Country to this day dude..lol

[colossus2007]

the funny thing is he called himself " I'am a car" not im the machine XD

[volk551]

@colossus2007 Yaavtomobilya is I am the car.

[riotgage]

@colossus2007 It is the same word for both...........

[DarthChubbyChaser]

This is one of the greatest stories I've ever heard! Thank you Mikoshh for uploading this!

[marleySux]

moar!

[rezwanborja]

The Machine!

[nexusmaxis1]

russia in the 90's sounds so awesome! Well, it probably would have been cool if you were Bert Kreischer, anyone else and it sounds terrible, lol.

[ivoryjacks]

i love bert :]

[mpwildebeest]

Fuck'n sweet Spanish at noon?!

[MrMetallunatic]

Sounds exactly like Seth Rogen :)

[khazal12]

All this happened because he was too stupid to understand the difference between spanish and russian. loool epic how he just went with everything :)

[halluci444]

Why are ppl hating. People really have fun lives. Just cuz ur ego is hurting doesn't mean u should call him a fake

[1MoB100]

stupid americans dont know shit about Russia and still talking..

[brainiac554]

@1MoB100 He lived there so I assume he knows enough to discuss his experience. Don't forget he said it was in 1993 so things may have changed.

[1MoB100]

@brainiac554 he didnt live there he just visit and if he says that Russians dont have alot of names then he is wrong and I bet big time that those 3 igors are fake names because ppl who work for mob not gonna tell their real name specially to american.

[brainiac554]

@1MoB100 3 months is living there, and there aren't many Russian names...dumb cunt.

[1MoB100]

@brainiac554 are you fucking stupid or what?! I lived in Russia my whole life you deepshit and I know better then some dumb fuck who lived there for 3 mounth so you can shut the fuck up and go teach some one else with fucktard ampty brain boy.

[brainiac554]

@1MoB100 You call me stupid...yet don't refute any of my points...You're just mad because someone pointed out that your country is behind on justice and law, and that for a long time it was ( and still partially is) run by gangs.

[1MoB100]

@brainiac554 how many more times I have to ask you to Shut The Fuck Up?!!go watch your pokemon videos idiot and what the fuck do you know?! Nothing! Dumb fuck american piece of shit with big mouth and ampty brain so FUCK OFF.

[brainiac554]

@1MoB100 Wow. You're the dumbest cunt I have ever replied to. I'm not going to stop replying just because an idiot like you tells me to. If I took your advice I would end up in a cold miserable lawless country like Russia. You're not even making an argument (because you can't) your just an angry bitch.

[JeffTheRambler]

WHAT! That story cannot be true, that is just too crazy and too awesome for one lifetime!

[AllBluesCat]

"The Machine" is king!!!!!!!!

[onexero1]

Ha. The Russian Hangover.

[cdesignproponentists]

Я машину

[DG3744]

This is a fuked up story and if Russians and Russia are really like this, than they make blacks in America look good!!!

[SUBLIMEDUDESTP]

@DG3744 it's for your fucking entertainment. they're not politicians. If this isnt entertaining to you then just end it son.

[Ktuck76]

@DG3744 if you pay attention he says in the early 90s. not that its much better now. you should use google more and learn a few things about the world. things are a lot different once you leave the trailer park.

[DG3744]

Alex is Sasha!!! What a fucken bullshitter!! Bert is a fraud!!!

[scotto132]

@DG3744 proof?

[DG3744]

Bert is full of shit!!  He's a fucken Liar!!

[PoptartPaintball333]

I just got back from Russia a few months ago and it is a completely different country now. There's still a lot of political corruption and shit but I honestly didn't see a whole lot of crazy mob stuff. In all honesty I really enjoyed it there. The American perception of Russia and Russians is unfortunately horribly skewed. Burt's story, however, is incredibly fascinating nonetheless.

[FinnKaiden]

that guy in the middle is a story stopper. dude just be quite and let the guy talk next time. awesome story though. so jokes

[ryguybcp]

Craziest Story ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jmu2k5]

#YaLubluTebaMark #YourFavRusky #SuperSwag #WinningDaddy

[dinospitter]

these podcast have made me so fucking happy :D love em.

[unrooolie]

THIS NEEDS TO BE A FUCKING MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[justthebestgolfer]

@unrooolie Hangover 3 in Russia back in the 90s..lol. Or Bert&Rogan go to Moscow & NOT White Castle..lol

[stemcgolf]

haha Urbanites!!

[RzA5]

crazy story haha nice video

[mlambie]

Powerful Bert Kreischer.

[scunitz87]

"I don't think Igors alive..."

Classic story. Its like his own russian hangover lol

[Dogfacedboy1980]

Not making eye contact, that shit is funny!!!

[Dogfacedboy1980]

Machine, you don't need to go on the field trips....LOL!!!

[ttnoyes]

True

[sk8sk8ss]

i bet if bret told the story of noah and the ark then it would sound believable

[CoDMrPostman]

@sk8sk8ss go fuckyourself how about that ?

[sk8sk8ss]

@CoDMrPostman sorry i didn't mean to offend. it's just joe rogan's stand has to do with noah and the ark. hahaha

[ReddJedi]

chto?

[tylowylo12321]

@ReddJedi shto

[aroff595]

This is so amazing! I am dying from laughing so hard right now. I love the very last line where he just shakes his head and says "nah I don't think Igor is alive..."

[TheBlitz1]

SSHTO

EY YA MACHIENU

SSHTO?

[buddyisreal23]

THANK YOU I have been trying to find this video for awhile

[sneakymario]

if i went to russia, my nickname would be chaos.

[stgabesbball31]

anyone else love seeing bert on bert the conquereor on travel channel and then seein him in this and like the tracy morgan story. its hilarious

[Azazel8]

thats such an awesome story!

[geppegep]

holy fuck what a crazy interview

[FeloniousDrunk]

Is this story really true? On Dr. Drew, he said it happened in '95 and there were a few other differences. I really hope it's true, though.

[DGRlubz]

@FeloniousDrunk if he would have matched his story word for word i would have been concerned but hes seems honest

[FeloniousDrunk]

@DGRlubz That's actually a good point. I'm not accusing him at all, I just hope it's true because it seems too crazy to make up. If he did make it up, I'd be much less impressed. I'll believe it for now, though.

[crazyshitvideo]

The story is funny but the Joy Rogan is boring all his interviews are boring even at UFC.

[Archaeosix]

This is one of the coolest if not THE coolest story I've ever heard. Awesome!

[Gr8rThenU]

When Im older I am gonna tell my kids this story it will be called(Epic Voice THE EPIC STORY OF BERT KREISCHER)

[MoPapparani]

This has to be a movie....or at least a short film.

[Sheggzz]

THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE THE MACHINE

[000570]

Best Story Ever! Bert is the man hes one of the best guests on the podcast along with Joey Diaz

[Mikoshh]

@000570 Yeah Bert is my favorite too, together with bobee lee and the guy from g4 forgot the name :D

[oaklandcardinals]

@Mikoshh Kevin Periera? He is going to be a guest again this wednesday I believe!

[DrunkWerewolf]

@000570 And Brian Callen and Duncan. My top four. 

[m80panther]

@000570 and trussell

[pafletch757]

@000570 Powerful

[AbattoirDream]

thats just CRAZY

[shiftydevil623]

holy fuck. I was laughing so hard it felt like my lungs were gonna explode.

[albozkilla]

do they do this in one room ?

[Mikoshh]

@albozkilla Yes, it happens in Joe Rogans house (sometimes in Brians Redbans) , they got a little studios in theyr hoses.

[albozkilla]

@Mikoshh yeah i asked cause the one with the pornstar it looked like everyone was in a different house

[yrrahyrrah]

Awesome.

[DGRlubz]

haha this was the greatest.. berts life should be made into a movie. and listening to this high is crazy, love it and joes reaction is priceless

[jrod2211]

@DGRlubz I think he is the basis for Van Wilder..



[DGRlubz]

@jrod2211 yea dude i checked out his first podcast when he said that his life was the idea for van wilder.. that shits pretty crazy, berts the man

[CubicleZ0mbie]

I've listened to this at least 5 times...

[comicstripped]

Wow. This is amazing and I love this and I'm in tears of laughter at my desk at work. WOO HOO! You can't write something this awesome. So great.

[Mikoshh]

@comicstripped Greatest story of all time!

[fatsomamacheese]

This story could seriously be a Steve Martin movie.

[DoDogaTz]

This is the greatest story I have ever heard.

[tokenstillsmokin]

This story will go down as the greatest ever "I am The Machine"

[00kiddo00]

best.story.ever !



[zionstatus]

EPIC