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From: JTSchnaars
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  • which may as i ahve read, make people insane to some people

  • power addiction? so what? the bigger the reward or profit. So what about fighting? NO 1 in the world. Major co operations, fame? un productive? but why not? it seems false and unfair to say otherwise. and protecting me and others is so untrue. as equality clearly hangs in the balance. after all it seems more a person stepping into an apple meets apple scenario.

  • this guy is inside my head

  • Excellent...the best I have heard on this disorder.

  • Thank You , You were able to explain my Borderline Personality from an outside view and I can say Yes to everything you talked about . Next step is getting the help I need before my thoughts begin to take over and just leave this life.

  • thank u also i also wish you were my therapist too , other mental health proffessionals could learn alot from ivan spielberg .

  • I have learned over time that i do need to go to bed angry in order to not be rash Great video.

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  • yeh yeh all true..once something happens to you in the early years of life its a constant struggle afterwards lol that's conditioned to: if you chose to fight back. You learn a lot feel blessed to have problems so you can learn from them, feel emotions to a deeper level&experience life,may be create something too,but like I said its a constant struggle that requires conscious effort & it gets tiring sometimes...but oh well if that's they ''reality'' then guess you don't have a choice :)

  • @Reptile0000 It will eventually become automatic. :)

  • For*

  • Fantastic advice! Thanks or uploading this.

  • Pretty damn good.

    I have a feeling that an elaboration of the child's decision as to their unloveableness might be worthwhile. I don't a child thinks in these terms. What they'd feel is that they are going to make an error that ruptures the tenuous link with their mother......relationship anxiety ... and fear of the pain of a disppointment/shame response.

    It's a fine point over a very high quality video from a guy who is streets ahead of the majority of his peers.

  • im postive i have bpd, so badly its debilitating in every aspect of my life, i havnt been diagnosed but everything about this disorder fits me to a tee, i regonize every symptom but i dont know how to change, or seek help, where can i find treatment, i live in a relativly small town with not alot of psychiatric help available

  • BPs are practically incurable because the majority of them are addicted to denial. The nut job sicko I dated for years is a fraud who pretends to be a charity worker by day, so that she could validate being a sociopath by night.

  • people feel devalued as a result of abuse and neglect from others. this is purely environmental. if people feel worthless its because its been drilled into them by others, and so their spirit/self esteem is lowered and they really do see themselves as lower than others.

  • oh my god this makes me cry :'(

    BPD sucks.

  • Anyone over the age of 25 should be well past this type of victim thinking. Therapists keep people in the victim paradigm because it makes them money and provides them with subjects for their college publications. Fact is, growing from childhood to adulthood SHOULD free people from this kind of thinking. There's a difference between taking responsibility and blaming yourself. Therapists won't will harp on not taking blame, but miss responsibility.

  • @anastasia81472 What you fail to accept (although I'm sure you understand) is that BPD is most likely the result of abuse that occurred when a child was very young. They learn and incorporate coping skills and survival techniques that exist at the very core of their identity. This is NOT something you can outgrow, in fact it governs everything you do and everything you feel for your whole life. The best that can be hoped for is that new skills will allow a more functional life

  • Thank You Thank You Thank You!!! finally someone knows my weirdness!

  • I REALLY want to know this doctors name please!

  • Man, I hate being Histrionic and Borderline.

  • What doctors are you people going to? Even I know all of this and I don't even have my degree. I mean, this is really basic information about BPD, how could any therapist not know it?

  • Genious.

  • Thank you very much, the raft metaphor is great!

  • Thanks much doc for you vids. The are very helpful and educational.

  • 13 dislikes from 13 people with Borderline Personality Disorder who deny having Borderline Personality Disorder and blame you for it.

  • i disagree with the alcihol thing, i have bpd and for me i calm down when i drink. everyone in my life has said they like me better drunk. When i get upset or freak they poor me a shot. I chill out. Especially with my husband. i am diagnosed BPD and also an alcoholic i am currently going through therapy about why i drink and thus far my therapist believes i hate myself for the way i act she says its a step in the right direction but etc Drinking makes me better not worse i just need to know why.

  • @lambchopclmt alcohol is a drug ethanol, it makes you feel good, lowers your inhibitions, makes you feel more relaxed. All common well known effects, thats why it makes you feel better. But its not a long term solution as you know.

  • @lambchopclmt I am sorry friend, but you are in denial. I mean that in the nicest way. I am Bipolar 1, with serious drug and alcohol issues in the past. I test pretty high for BPD too. I used to smoke cannibis all the time to stop the racing thoughts and insomnia. These days I self medicate with food because its more acceptable. None of these is good. I have started getting treatment and getting better. Meditation works well TM, specifically for releasing all of this crap inside your head.

  • @danielsaun1 How am i in denial if everyone agrees with me? even my therapist agrees we are working on getting me to the point where i can be me and be who i want to be without alcohol. I am more articulate when i drink, i think things over before speaking or acting. I have less "freak outs" etc.. This is fact not denial. I want to be that person without drinking and thats what we are working on.

  • @lambchopclmt We can agree, that it may provide you temporary relief, as cannibis did for me, but its a band aid solution. I am glad you are working towards a more long term, healthy solution.

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  • i have bpd and this video is amazing

  • As most BPDs have a very fractured sense of narrative, so strictly bound to sudden shifts in emotion that make any sense of narrative impossible, the notion of rewriting the narrative strikes me as an excellent way to begin the business of repairing the damaged sense of self as who can imagine cultivating a personality otherwise. An excellent presentation.

  • This is scary, describing me to a tee. I was originally diagnosed with drug induced psychosis (marijuana). But I've felt for a long time they got it wrong. Marijuana, switches me from neurotic to psychotic, it brings out my darkest emotions and anxieties until I can't take it anymore and have either a panic attack or hallucinations.

  • very interesting video .. good listening material. He would be a good therapist to have that's for sure. I've been through a few psychologists etc, it is very important to find one that you feel understands and can help you.

  • this guy gets us 100%. I get the analogy of the raft but HOW do you let go of the raft?? Cause after a lifetime of clinging on so tight how do you let it go??

  • my question is why do people feel so sorry for people with this problem when clearly they are in the same class of personality disorder as sociopath or narcissist???

    these people only care about themselves and frankly they don't change that much they are just taught to be more rational in their crap because it is a so called ethical issue to cater to their non stop suicide threats.

    where are the "pity the sociopath" or "pity the narcissist" vids because I prefer the restraining order w/ all 3.

  • I am just glad that I am going to deal with male drug addicts for a living because chances are much lower than dealing with this issue...

    my mother has this problem and I can't stand her...

  • @HerrSpieldose you sound like a Narcissist to me. How selfish are you seriously?!?!?!?!?

  • @HerrSpieldose People aren't trash to be thrown out like garbage!!!!!!!!!!!

  • BPD's have nothing in common with Narcissist or Sociopaths which is why they are 3 entirely separate disorders with their own DSM classifications. To say we shouldn't CARE about people who have been victims of severe trauma in their lives is the most selfish thing I have ever heard of. Talk about narcissistic! Where is your compassion for the victims of this world?? People with BPD have endured the most intense trauma and abuse and were innocent victims! And were MADE this way by years of abuse!

  • @RiotGrrrlLogic

    Actually, BPD, NPD and APD are all in the same cluster because they share the same traits in varying degrees. I know that is something that borderlines do not want to hear, because I also used to not want to hear it. Nevertheless, I feel it is something that must be owned up to and dealt with honestly if there is ever to be any hope of eventual recovery.

  • @leat481 they are in the same "cluster" because they are all personality disorders. NOT because they share traits. If they all shared the same traits then they would not be separate disorders. There would just be ONE disorder.

  • Actually, they are all in cluster B as far as the PD's go. Each set of PD's has it's own cluster because of the themes each group has in common. Maybe not exact symptoms, but themes. In fact, because different PD's overlap so much, it has been proposed for the DSM V, that there be a complete elimination of specific PD diagnoses altogether, in favor of a single diagnosis of Personality Disorder with a certain subtype (such as "PD-Borderline Type") based on which character traits are strongest.

  • @HerrSpieldose Cunt

  • 12 dislikes from 12 people with Borderline Personality Disorder

  • what a fantastic clinician. i am finishing my degree and masters to help patients like yourself. you have inspired me, like many others, but your insight, especially on BPD is so profound. a very close family member suffers from it and it is heartbreaking to watch. thank you.

  • do people here with bpd believe they have strong imaginations? i mean, can you conjure a feeling just by imagining it? i do this with such ease. i believe it makes me a very good method actress. lol

  • you tell them ur not sure whats the matter and they yell at you saying u do no and shit

  • I WISH I COULD SCHEDULE AN APPT. WITH THIS GUY! F A N T A S T I C !!!!

  • more about the insomnia: low blood sugar makes it impossible for me to sleep, even if i'm not actually feeling hungry. so i make sure to have at least a banana and a cup of milk right before bed. I also have to eat something again after about 5 hours of sleep or i'll be awake for the rest of the night. the body produces adrenaline when blood sugar is low, so it kind of makes sense. eating means less adrenaline, means less alertness, means you can fall asleep!

  • hey, i suffered with horrible insomnia for years. what i found that works: stop trying to sleep. if you're really, totally exhausted, lay down for awhile. even if you don't fall asleep, you'll have gotten some rest and be able to "run" for at least another hour. everytime you're totally exhausted, just lay down for awhile, without putting any pressure on yourself to actually sleep. "resting" periodically, with or without sleep, can actually keep you going surprisingly long.

  • that cat's a great shrink!

  • this guy is dead on accurate he basically described my mom im desperately trying to find someone who can help her because im tired of getting punched or slapped in the face over stupid shit, my brother and dad feel the same way. yesterday we had a huge fight because my mom doesnt beleive that bpd is real my dad was crying so i smashed my moms tv. and threw away any alcohol i could find today was fucking horrible because i flipped out and had like a mini metldown. i think im traumatized...

  • Wow... I never thought i could relate to a disorder as much as Borderline Personality Disorder. I've been watching videos on here about and I'm like WTF... this is crazy. The only thing that I don't relate to is when people don't call me back, I don't flip out, I always tell myself "something must've happened, I'll hear from them later." But I have a feeling I didn't used to be like that, I think I taught myself to think more "positively" that way. Thanks Mister! :]

  • THANK YOU.

  • This guy is good, real good.

  • Wonderful advice... Now please write a book.

  • So now I'm on sleeping pills, ,but It doesn't feel good, so maybe the exercise is an important element for mind and body and I hope to be able to sleep better when exercising a lot more!!! Let's see, I'll post the results here... If anyone has found a solution for their sleeping problem, don't hesitate on telling us all here!!!! Since sleeping good, makes you emotional a lot stronger!!!!!

  • I see a lot of people here who don't sleep good... the non-sleeping part is really tormenting!!!! I can be soooo tired and be in bed and stare at the seeling for hours and hours and hours and... I'm tired everyday!!! The sleeping problem is the only thing I've been occupied with lately, all other facets of life just disapeared. Trying to sleep is my focus number one, almost an obsession! I've tried joints, music, insence, natural sleeping pills, meditation, reading, no tv or computer,....

  • @craigery83 I think you are very right about the physical exercise... I don't do this enough, but since two years I'm a performance dancer, it's like gogo dancing but with more clothes, and in an artistic way ;-) and I feel so good when I danced all night on stage, just because you use all the musles you have in your body!!! So now I'm gonna try do exercise a lot more to stabalize my mind.... since I've not been sleeping either for some weeks now...

  • I have a raft in my life that I wish I could get rid of.

  • This is insightful. Thank you.

  • he's absolutely accurate in everything he says. this sucks. i feel like i'm in hell

  • I gave up on ever getting better years ago. I'm just waiting for the bus to eternity to arrive. I'm too tired to fight the demon anymore.

  • @Tigermoon1950 Don't give up.

  • Wow, how do I get insurance to talk to this guy?

  • can teens be diagnosed? my 16 year old to be exact

  • amazing except for one point .... i'm bpd and i cant get to sleep when i'm angry purely because thoughts are racing ... i end up cutting just to stop them for a while then i'll end up feeling drained from cutting and that'll be another hour before i sleep. if i could sleep good point but i cant hence why i'm on youtube at 2 am :-/ x

  • @HidesBehindASmilex

    Have u try music???

    maybe some of Enya or Mozart try to think only on the music!!!! it may help!!!

    Good luck!!!

  • @HidesBehindASmilex i'm the exact same!! i cant sleep at all

  • Thanks a lot for your advice. It may prove helpful.

  • omg, i have bpd and this guy is dead accurate... kudos for him :]

  • its disappointing to hear him tell me my story on this video even though he has never met me. lol I relate to everything he is talking about and the whole thing about family is dead on. no father, single mother that was a selfish biitch that treated me like shit when I was younger. I can't seem to let go of partners, I have severe abandonement issues and trust issues. This person that should of called me 2 hours ago didn't and my mind did exactly what he said it does. damn. I need help. lol

  • It's very true what he's saying about that once you see certain things, you try to apply them and then you start thinking less negative, the only problem is, this only works for some time...when things are going good in my life, but when something happens, I tend to trow everything I had learned myself over board...and then I have to start from zero again...I'm so tired of fighting against myself. Anyone with BPD has find a solution for that??? no medication related. thanks

  • he, i have the same problem and the best solution, or at least to me, is to be happy and have someone who understands your pain to talk to.... i hope that helped a bit

  • @VDBSamantha ; do you exercise at all? I've heard from a psych professor that studies between anti depressants and physical activity had the same results, but increasing physical activity had the most long term improvement in mood and well being.

  • bla bla bla bla...boring ¬¬

  • Why is he so SUPER accurate? So ALL BPDs are the same?

  • i would say that guy was BPD himself.. he sounds way too conscious about the disorder.. and everything he says is 100% true.. its very sick

  • WOW I'm with everyone here. He definately knows what's going on in the head of a person with BPD. I wish I could tell my ex how trully sorry I am for not understand what he was going through. I wish I could turn back time and help him. But I never really GOT IT, until now that I've seen countless videos and read countless articles and websites. It's so hard for them, I wish I could help my ex. I would love to help him somehow to get better.

  • The answer?: It's to look at the idea that the past does not equal the future (Tony Robbins, Krishnamurti). The doctor says the answer: to realize the raft is no longer needed.

  • That was SO amazing. I am not BPD but my ex is and if I would have seen this video earlier when we were going through our problems, I would have tried much harder to help him. Everything he said was so accurate, the raft and the monk, the parents treatment of him when he was younger, the moods, his perception...DEAD ON. I just pray that ONE DAY, I can see my ex again and encourage him to get help. I hope that others can send me some positive energy and I will do the same to back to you. Thanks

  • My ex girlfriend has this, she is a wonderful human being and i love her dearly, we're still good friends and i'm trying to understand this disorder as much as i can so we can one day have a chance of making things work, thankyou for posting this JT ;) People with this disorder must be going through hell ! The more people are aware of this disorder (and others) the better

  • I wish you were my ex... He just thinks I'm selfish and greedy.

  • This is the first Dr, who sounds like he totally gets WTF is going on in the head of a BPD person. Where is he based out of?

  • I want this guy as my therapist, I need him as my therapist!!

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  • thank u.. i wish i had a therapist like you.

  • NowTHAT'S a great video

  • you kick ass dude!

  • you are so right thank you

  • this guy talks alot of sense, i need a new therapist!

  • Thank you.

  • If only more therapists were as insightful as this guy.

  • The part where he describes the initial interpretation being much different than what's really going on describes my mom perfectly. My dad is a dentist and works with a mostly female staff because a lot of assistants are female. She was always convinced that he must be cheating on her when he never did. They eventually divorced. She constantly interprets things as personal attacks. Her boyfriend's children's laziness during a summer trip must be them sabotaging her trip according to her.

  • The daughter's taking more pictures of her family than our family MUST be to get back at her. It's a constant job to remind her that not everything is personal. As a kid, small slips and falls "could've busted my head open". Her house has to be locked to the point where I can't even get into my own house because "people might break in" when we live in an area with almost no crime. She has calmed down a bit, but it really has started to alienate her. My brother avoids being around her.

  • Thank you for this video. Now I understand MUCH better those people I used to judge : (

  • awesome video! thank you so much. All the basic and inherent aspects of BPD are so well explained here. Simple, short, direct.

  • as well, identifying with the feelings he is describing and seeing them as "fact" are two seperate things. in the first video, a point was made that the Borderline has trouble seperating fact from feeling. if this is true, some of the arguments made contradict themselves.

    as a recovering borderline with 4 years of CBT, DBT, group therapy, pscyhoanalysis and appropriate medication regimes, I appreciate the compassionate approach; however, remember the patient, not only the therapists view.

  • the theory of being on the "Borderline" between psychotic and neurotic is very outdated, and in fact only servces to impede on effective and non-judgemental treatment. treating a borderline who tends to see in "black and white" with black and white thinking has been proven to be a fairly ineffective treatment method. DBT and appropriate medications, i.e; mood stabilizers, antidepressants, etc. have a much better track record. spreading this type of outdate theory only reinforces stigma.

  • ths video is great --a true explanation of myself.......

  • what if the patient likes the destructive nature of themselves (i.e. cutting themselves or driving wild or engaging in huffing sessions etc.) and doesnt want to change does that mean they have something other than BPD?

  • Very effective approach, wish I'd met him!

  • He has truly explained this disorder and its treatment so that one feels hope; I've read many a book which was unhelpful and in fact made things feel much worse. It is good to see that he is willing to share his knowledge, and I am grateful to him.

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've been married to my BPD spouse for 14 yrs. , and I've never heard the thoughts and experiences i have formulated over the years articulated so accurately. I especially relate to the skill of benign interpretation. It can make for a lot of "crazymaking" in a relationship when a BPD person malignantly interprets the motives behind words or actions directed toward them in relationships.

  • WOW! Thanks!  Listening to you I was able to get a better understanding Borderline.

    Can post videos on other major disorders.

  • Wow,this guy is great, and effective. Why cant I find a therapist this good. My therapists are usually religious zealots, or recovering addicts.

  • DBT is better.

  • I feel like I just went to therapy. This dude is good.

  • i'm definitaly taking his advice 10-8 rule

  • this guy has it spot on with how i feel

  • I do like how he spells everything out it makes sense to me.

  • experts dont agree that BPD means bordering psychotic and neurotic dispite the original beliefs.they are considering changing the title of it because it can be so misleading

  • Yea. That's a really old school psychodynamic explanation...not really valid anymore.  Linehan's theory makes a much better explanation and much better treatment (dialectical behavior therapy.)

  • diagnosed 16 years ago now. On anti psychotic + anti depressant for about 10 years daily. Ivan's rules of engagement are right on track. for those impulsive types I also recommend not handling money after dark and not going out at night. knowing what makes things go bad for you and eliminating it with a sense of responsibility and non emotional calm is a step towards realizing how much we make it bad for ourselves yet can also turn it around and make it all good.

    thanks

  • BDP suffers, check out burtharding on utube...

  • I think he's got the Buddhist monk story all wrong. Is the monk going to throw away his shoes because he comes upon a patch of soft grass? Of course not! A raft made of grass probly took awhile to build, and surely there are more rivers and lakes on the way. Plus it's lightweight, collapsable, and could serve as a shelter from rain. I know what he's getting at (not sure he does), but the monk story just doesn't really apply here.

  • "Borderline Personality" is what drives femanism. Fact.

  • I think sexism is probably what drives feminism.

  • This man is amazing. I would pay any fee he wanted for a session.

  • Do experts still believe that "The borderline " is "literally on the borderline between psychotic and neurotic"?

  • sorta thats just how it started getting called and it is on the border as he explained

  • I couldn't agree with you more. I actually want to forward these videos to my therapist. Ivan Spielberg made more sense to me in 16 minutes than my shrink has in a year.

  • The people doubting what this man says are either BPD who are in denial or they don't know what BPD actually is all about. This man knows what he is talking about.

  • Really Great information and helpful for many who have the disorder.

  • He didn't address the problem of "killing" the inner-self because that's what he is doing. Now that you have removed all those feeling of "need" (to be loved to be rich to be to be ..) the patient will actually have no personality at all, he will be calm yes, but shallow and empty.

  • wow, this is me thank you...I cried listening to it becuz it described me so well haha

  • sorry, most people here seem to a bit to much on the "idealise" side??? I would not want to be one of his clients who was told by a therapist how their childhood was like. We are all individuums even if we have BPD!!!

  • wow!. . . .very very amazing vid. Not only does it list some of the main symptoms but goes to a certain extant into each one. Im bpd and i find this very helpful. In the 15 or so minutes watching this is more positive than an hour with my own therapist! I say we clone Mr. Speilberg and have him in the UK! ! !

  • wow this shit describe me to the T its creepy.

  • He truly understands borderline personality disorder so well...He just summed up everything I've been feeling but not understanding for years.

  • this guy really makes sence.helps me to know there are real dr's out there who do understand

  • i think the guy is a good therapist....what really matters is that he can understand a patient ...i've been to doctors that really sucked big time n all i got were pills..they stuffed me with pills cause they were incompetent...guess how long that helped....nothin changed...so this 1 made a pretty good impression on me....i mean yeah he may not come with sm innovative treatments but he's totally ok.

  • Building my own tool box soul soothing hobby.

  • Who is this person?

  • Oh gosh! This guy is talking about theories that were thrown out years ago. Do not watch.

  • Agreed. Although I actually like his no nonsense approach, do not watch this. He speaks on ideas ages old and since updated. Borderline suffers on the edge of psychosis - don't make me laugh.

  • '' THE BORDERLINE'' ? who is this dude?

    text book robot lol...

  • This guy is extremely textbook. He displays no knowledge of subtleties, or a realm outside the psychotherapeutic field. The impression is that he is a valid professional first and possibly a human being second. I wonder what motivated him to enter into the field of therapy? Intellectual curiousity or caring about the well-being of others?

    Speaking of Buddhism, most of the tips offered here are found in regular meditative practise.

  • He is so in tune with this disorder. It is quite amazing considering how hard it is to find a therapist that even gets what this disorder is all about let alone offer such practical therapy that makes so much sence. He's good. He even gets it concerning the role of alchohol plays. They don't need to become alchoholics they just need to drink some.

    I'll say it again, this guy is good! Fantastically in tune.

  • Amen to that. He is quite theoretical and not very warm, but hey, what do you want from a therapist; a hug and a kiss. He knows what he's talking about and seems to have some really useful techniques to deal with the traps a bordeliner has in it's personality

  • This guy is lazy. He doesn't want to listen to his clients. He wants to tell them what they feel and what kind of family they come from. Hasn't he ever read Anna Karinina?

    "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"

  • the guy isnt lazy!!! people with BPD sometimes have a very hard time expressing or even understand what they feel omg i cant stand people who judge understand what the guy is trying to say here DONT JUDGE try to understand

  • I have been in psychotherapy and I do understand what he is saying. I don't like how he says that he tells clients what their families are like before they have a chance to tell him. To me it seems lazy and cookie cutter. It takes effort to actually listen to someone and try to understand their story. I don't like him. That's my opinion.

  • may be that's the right thing to do if a patient dont exactly comprehend his/her own feelings.

  • learning from this guy is good.

  • This is a fantastic lecture. Thanks for posting this. This is a good borderine 101.

  • I learnt from being in a relationship with a bordy that if I ever hear someone tells they are a bordy I have to run as fast as I can in the other direction.

  • It is great to hear some real strategies. Sadly, it is hard to find therapists, or psychiatrists who will deliver a practical programme, so I would like to hear more. Just understanding what is wrong with you does not fix the problem, and it is not something you can do yourself. I have been reading through a manual for psychologists, and trying to treat myself despite seeing a therapist.

  • Ya i Realized you werent talking to me after the fact.

  • thank you. i just recently found out that I kinda have BPD traits myself (no formal diagnosis though)..and this has helpe