Retsufrash - Men's Room

[fargoraider]

Holy crap. The animation says the character is 6'1", 250lb.

250lb looks significantly heavier than that, animator!

[Brassherald]

He didn't just steal from Dane Cook, he also stole his first joke from the King of Queens.

[drz2014]

What about those other urinals that when you flush them they like take their finger and poke it up your butt hole then go "whoop whoop".

[CrystalKabuto]

I hate those automatic sinks, they always scare the crap out of me.

[Drigoroth]

Know whats funny? Dane cook stole this joke. This was out YEARS before dane cook was even big, or started comedy. He truly is the greatest joke thief.

[53knights]

love the hand dryer's instructions

1) Push Button

2) Dry Hands

3) Hug Tree

4) Kiss Deer

[TheMarg0r]

"the door opens in"

"This never happens"

Surprise surprise, in one building on my university campus, YES IT DOES. I cannot imagine the level of fucknuttery someone has to suffer from to build that, but occasionally it happens.

[PowerXeta]

a bathroom explained by a person who doesn't know what simple peeing means

[BlargGargle]

Guys bringing their daughters into the men's room is a problem?! Ive never heard of this ever...

[Tinlion09]

@BlargGargle It does happen. If the girl is too young to go to the bathroom by herself and only her father is around, it's the only option.

[kuriboh400]

@BlargGargle It does happen i remeber when i was yonger my Dad took me in one

[BlargGargle]

@kuriboh400 Interesting. Guess it's less pervy for a girl to be in the men's room than dad being in the lady's room?

[kuriboh400]

@BlargGargle I think so. I have personaly never seen a man take his kid to the ladys room but if i went in there and saw a man i would be a little of put

[88Meters]

It's really not that hard to just get into the bathroom, do your business, wash your hands, dry them, and leave. NONE of this shit happens and, when they do, there's NOTHING wrong with them. I hate this kind of humor where people just complain, complain, and COMPLAIN.

[lich109]

@88Meters People think this is a useless review.

[werebee]

Something tells me Adam Salsberg hears "Hey, shutup!" a lot.

[TheOneGuy1111]

All those complaints, and he didn't once mention how dirty public bathrooms can be?! I would think the urine on the toilet seat and floor would be the #1 biggest complaint, but it wasn't even mentioned!

[PTp1ranha]

@TheOneGuy1111 Heh... pee being the number one complaint... There is something wrong with me.

[qawmame]

thats ironicus, right?

[LordKiroofDarklands]

@qawmame Indeed it is.

[MrGuyPwnsYou]

7:48 This is the fourth time I've watched this retsufrash and I'm still finding it amazing.

[Whatupwidat]

Slowbeef and Ironicus - my two favourite RPers (sorry Chip and Diabetus)

[Zerginfantry]

@Whatupwidat You know, Diabetus and Ironicus sound a lot alike

[JackIsASexyMf]

Freshmen aren't 18

[mthatguy1111]

@JackIsASexyMf College freshmen are, thats what he was talking about

[milleniumfrisbee]

My college has paper towels.

[PTp1ranha]

You know I actually liked that video, but this is funny as all get out and you guys make good points. The guy's sequel video on female restrooms isn't real great though.

[objectionablechione]

FUCK, this guy went to RIT? Well that basically explains itself. When you mention "OCD shutins", that describes a lot of RIT students. Seriously. I'm guessing this guy was a new media major (a mix of art and computing).

I love my university, but god, there are SO many people with no fucking social skills whatsoever, and this sounds like one of them.

[Zerginfantry]

@objectionablechione Ha, I went to RIT for a short period of time - be even so I know what your talking about. My roomate would constantly stay up till five in the morning yelling at some stupid video game he was playing. The rest of the people in the hall weren't too much better, either.

[SlamminWolfgang]

I'm pretty sure this video has more views than the original Men's Room Monologue. If this is a viral sensation, Retsupurae is a goddamn epidemic.

[HuskyVerbatim]

OVER ONE MILLION PEOPLE

5,964 views.

[mudkiprules4]

@HuskyVerbatim REVIEWS not views. Look again.

[Icerama108]

3:00 Nice copy pasted outline jackass.

[dolotsofacid]

Real men have sons.

[MalamiteLtd]

And how about those soap dispensers?

Am I right?

Guys?

[MarthMcPancakes]

God, do Men's rooms really suck this much?

[mechamind90]

The sinks I really hate are the ones with both a cold and hot faucet, but like 4:46 they only turn on when you hold them. You might need a third arm if you want a decent temperature, and such sinks should probably be banned.

[MegaszTechionTerrea]

the red eyes?(black dragon)

[joesmomisdead]

64 people aren't going places.

[Fapfappa]

I love the crowders situation.

"Sorry for standing next to you, Salsburg. I'll just stop my bodily function and move over for YOUR comfort."

[42guide42]

If this was created by a high school freshmen, there would be swears and toilet humour of the Adult Swim kind.

[KingKoodaz]

Hey! Retsupurae! ....... I'm watching you through your toilet...... *Hiss*

[nintendopet114]

Ya know IN THE BATHROOM

[AzureHalfbreed]

Every time I hear slow beef say "He's as happy as shit." I keep waiting for Ironicous to say "No pun intended."

[epixaricacy]

The Retsupurae guys are the least shy people on the planet apparently if they think that doors that don't lock aren't a problem. Maybe it's a chick thing but I'll go to every stall to look for the one that has a working lock if I have to.

[TheToast7]

@epixaricacy Well of course you prefer a locking door, but it's not like the door is gonna go flying open, and you could just use your hands to keep it closed, especially if you're a girl and always have to sit down.

[epixaricacy]

@TheToast7 That's extremely awkward though. I've done it, it's pretty awful.

[TheToast7]

@epixaricacy Well, have you tried peeing faster?

[epixaricacy]

@TheToast7 It's not like the ladies' room is somewhere I like to spend my time or something. I'm just saying, if I can avoid an unlockable stall, I will.

[WhiteTiger225]

"He's stealing a Dane Cook bit~" you mean hes stealing a Demitri Martin Joke who Dane steals a lot of his jokes from?

[heyeveryoneimcool]

Oh, man thing #3! I can so relate!

[MalamiteLtd]

Stranded... Stranded on the toilet bowl!

What do you do when you're stranded, and you don't have a roll?

To prove you're a maaaan

You must wipe it with your haaaand!

Stranded... Stranded on the toilet bowl!

[NeoTStyle]

I enjoyed this retsupurae review of the flash movie "Men's Room".

This video was good.

[Brassherald]

Why can't he just piss on the wall with wall urinals? Is he seriously having problems understanding that gravity works on piss as well? Or is he so close that the stream goes back at him?

[lilbuzz2000]

SANI-DRYR

1) Push Button

2) Dry Hands

3) Hug Tree

4) Kiss Deer

[dengakutofu]

My god, I actually thought that this was the most hilarious thing ever when I was like 8. Looking back, it is simply some guy complaining about things that are untrue. It's like I always say, past me is an idiot.

[Mysterious0Bob]

@dengakutofu ...8? How old is this flash?

[CasaiAgicap]

@Mysterious0Bob Like, six years old. The "copyright" (because the copyright office is totally going to register the wonder that is "The Men's Bathroom monologue") in the video said 2005.

[Icerama108]

3:50 The no-standard in comedy, Dane Cook.

[TheProjectMJ]

Google image search: Paper towel dispenser - 944,000 results

[Mysterypea]

Looks like this video turns 1 year old, if anybody cares.

[PickpocketSan]

This guy comes so close to telling a joke, then he either completely veers off to something else, or just turns it into an anti-joke. If he had a pointless 10-minute filler, his flash would be the Newgrounds equivelant to an episode of Family Guy.

[TheToast7]

"Lookit, now he's stealing a Dane Cook bit!"

"Hey man, if you're gonna steal jokes, you gotta go for the best. That's why I always steal jokes from you."

[SwimmingHorses]

6'1", 250lbs? Jesus Christ, is he a tractor trailer?!

[EponymousKid]

@SwimmingHorses ...That's big?

Wait, I think I watch too much basketball or something, nevermind.

[pyramidheadkitten9]

god dammit the new youtube comment system is a fucking clusterfuck.

[killerkombat428]

60 people took a shit at jigsaws house

[notyoursavior78]

Man those crowders are the worst! What a great observation.

"Fuckin small talk, he's cheating on her!" Love Retsu.

[swoosh18]

He's taking a shit at jigsaw's house

[roxettepg]

I'm 14 years old and understand better than those guys! I've never had such a problem, EVER!

[Notokayipromise]

@roxettepg I'm 12 and what is this?

[Zomgareyouserious]

I actually tried to like...watch the flash animation by itself after I saw this video. I TRIED. I made it to the part where the dude starts talking about the toilet paper blade before my brain was just like "No. |:<" and I had to close the tab. I hella don't even know how it got so many 10's it was so boring. ;~;

[ZLFaurora]

2:20 Unless it was R. Kelly.....

[ArchangelDrake]

59 Viewers stand in urinals.

[SQUIZZLER24]

Yeah, I have a problem with some of these things in a public bathroom...

But seriously, actually thinking "hey, I got a really good idea", going home and putting a pretty serious portion of time and effort into making a 6 MINUTE flash animation about it?

Come the fuck on...

[RonnyWho]

The only things i have against public toilets are that there is piss all over the floor.....

[pyramidheadkitten9]

k, ill admit that i hate going into public restrooms too, but ive never had any problems with this.

he couldve mentioned how the seats are covered in shit and piss, the paper rolls never cut right, and how the sinks need you to get everything wet.

[Hamsteere]

GROTTY PISS-STAINED OBSERVATIONS

[Zerginfantry]

Oh fuck, I'm going to the same college that the creators of this masterpiece went to - I guess this goes against the local sentiment that all RIT students are smart, eh?

Also, I pretty sure that RIT has paper towels, if that counts for anything.

[scallywag86]

Yeah, this guy`s a little picky on where he wants to take a leak...though I will admit, talking on one`s cell phone while taking a shit doesn`t seem like a great plan

[teamtash]

God I fucking hated this animation back in the day. I'm glad you've turned your attention to the trash of Newgrounds.

[lolzr55]

They got out lightsabers and started cursing each others mothers

[CountVanAccount]

Hey guys like this get TV-contracts in Germany.

[WhimsicalQuandary]

Also what's the deal with airplane food?

[WhimsicalQuandary]

@WhimsicalQuandary

It's not very good because there isn't room for a proper culinary area on board an airplane and from what I have been told taste buds work slightly different in high altitudes.

[slashermaster28]

For the most part, I'm assuming this flash was meant to be a joke, but yeah, what's up with the whole "towel dispensers don't exist anymore" thing? I still see them in public bathrooms.

[CheatMasterAOD]

Basically a tutorial on how to piss

[CSM60]

Hah the cross-hair. Now all you need is your scope attachment and you're pissing like a pro!

[JoelLandis]

@CSM60 xxXX2legit2pissXXxx

[Dorgles52]

@CSM60 Don't forget the laser sight and collapsible buttstock for those long-distance pisses

[wackyluke444]

@CSM60 My Piss/Death rate is 2.00!

[AcusticDave]

You know how there's possibly someones penis on everything? yeah it's a problem. i make sure not to leave my penis anywhere, wash your hands. And you can't trust doorknobs these days, they could have sperm all up on there. Do you want sperm in your hands?

[notyoursavior78]

"He's just happy as shit."

=) LOL I can't stop laughing and I've seen this before too.

[WilliamLongfellow]

As bad as the video is, I have to appreciate the 867-5309/Jenny reference.

[kingbooforums]

Still though. you know you would feel awkward to someone talking to you in the bathroom retsupre.

[kingbooforums]

"who the fuck put there feet in the goddamn urinel?" LOL

[DaBigmac824]

I don't think two men should talk when they have their cocks in their hands.

[Ditch2012]

I can't believe I found this funny when it came out. How much lead paint did I eat as a kid?

[MacTechHowTo]

"Deprive the Disabled."

[CPTHAP]

I remember watching the flash a while back on Newgrounds.

Watching THIS points out how stupid that flash was.

[Turrtl]

I actually know alex salsberg. He made this a LONG time ago.

[BARMN89]

How is the guy?

[TheDecoy13]

I thought this was funny the first time I saw it. It is true for the most part. I think you guys are being a little too harsh. I still found some funny parts though.

[Crezth]

Note that the guy's self-description notes him being 6'1" and 250 lb.

Holy fuck. He's fucking fat.

[JacobX89]

6'1" 250lb. isn't that bad.

[Crezth]

It's pretty obese actually.

[JacobX89]

Okay, after doing some research I have found that you are right.

[Roly426]

i'm 6' and 150lb. 1 inch adds 100 pounds

[IntricateMadman3k]

This guy would hate high school bathrooms. All the latches are either broken off or rusted su much that they can't lock the door.

[0p3nureyez]

Haha at my highschool there is no doors for the stalls

[Wolfcat22]

@IntricateMadman3k

Sounds like my school's bathrooms. Our stalls are so small, someone could literally just look over into the other stall. We do however have some good bathrooms, but I never have classes close to them, and they're locked up after school. Probably to prevent smoking...

[TheLoneRanger13]

That's actually a Demetri Martin joke about stall writing

[UkeaOP]

I actually saw this video before and liked it a lot. Commentary made it better though. :D

[Arceus9295]

I've seen this!

It's on Newgrounds.

[imabluekindaguy]

LOL

Oh God, this has to be, like, THE BEST Retsufrash. I could watch it a million times over and it'd never get old.

Thank you guys so much.

[kingbooforums]

who cares stealing from dane cook he sucks anyway

[kingbooforums]

i'm sure you to retsupre would be freaked out if someone talked to you while you were pissing -_-

[UberRusty]

Fuck off kingboo

[Mysterious0Bob]

I also have to add that you're supposed to rub your hands together when you use a dryer. They fucking work.

[Joe402]

spergin' out over bathrooms

[Zerginfantry]

Hmm, the guy's from Rochester... that explains a lot.

[subliminallz]

so wait at :46 why does he pull his penis out from behind him?

[Knapperr]

@subliminallz who knows

[hploveshack99]

@subliminallz Thats whatcha call a reach-around.

[momoandmiz]

@subliminallz

You mean you don't?

[kittylord12]

i saw a regular paper dispenser at my school they still exisist

[etceteraing]

That was a great video guys, but 100 yen isn't really a lot of money.

[POTATOESLOL]

Yeah. It's like a buck & a half.

[MooseyFate100]

@etceteraing $1.24 actually.

[ThunderShot66]

Who's trian?

[leonflash]

Oh, those silly demon possesed toilets.

[GamersTunes]

are they dead? (as in not gonna make more vids)

[SIRJOSEPHPORTERKCB]

There's another project they're working on at the moment (Slowbeef's LP of Snatcher, co-starring Diabetus). I'm betting they'll come back here when they're done with that.

[darkmindedsith]

Yeah, because one with the username "flamer" clearly has a life himself.

[Flamer3X]

at least a loser with his own opinion.how about you?just a blind fag boy.

[primal2020]

this video was good,to short and PERFECT!

10/10

[felixuselegos]

Wowza the trash you find on Newgrounds...

More Retsupurae!

[redakdal]

at least he is stealing jokes from a good comedian, and not making unfunny jokes he made up from the fly

[NiceHotCupOfBro]

@redakdal "Good comedian?" Excuse me sir, I'm not sure you're talking about the same Dane Cook that Diabeetus and Slowbeef are talking about.

[redakdal]

@NiceHotCupOfBro ya I am sorry, I must of been confused, I get Dane Cook and Daniel Cook mixed up everytime!!

damn ADD

[rotnem07825]

@MuscleBomber2021

Bwahahahahaha!!!

[MilliSkillit]

i cant'nt wait for a new retsupray so please make a new retsupray within the next day

[darkmindedsith]

Sure, they'll get right on that.

[Icerama108]

I imagine this guys original intructions list for the blow dryer went as followed:

1) Push Button

2) Dry Hands

3) Hug Tree

4) Kiss Deer

5) Jack-off to Sonic porn

[KiteStrongart]

Please. No more newgrounds shit.

[ZEROEVILDARKCOOL]

LOLLLLLLL

[Nick1253]

"Where does he get the balls?"

They're on his chin, remember?

[OneWithTheNight]

Yep, I sure do like standing in groggy piss-stained toilets. Mmhm.

[bubby492]

so they do what they wanna

[FEfan56]

in this guy's defense, those faucets with only one thing is kinda annoying even when you use 2 hands. You get that weird feeling of one hand being wet while the other is completely dry. Then again, maybe that just makes me as OCD as this guy.

[bubby492]

well if you dont like them then why do you take your time to comment on their videos then

[NamuYoshimitsu]

Well, I haven't seen this flash movie in a while. To be honest, I think you were a bit harsh on it, but that's just a shred of nostalgia peeking out. Indifferent toward the video, but sure, have 3 stars, I guess.

[NightfallGemini]

to all the people saying that the flash is funny: how is it funny? it's just a bunch of nonsensical observational humor.

[Magatama1]

" AND THE CENSOR BOX IS SUPPOSE TO BE FUNNY." I was going to make a joke about how it was "supposed" to be funny until I realized you wrote suppose. Fuck you

[eggmanfan14]

You should watch some of pyschadelicsnake

Videos there crazy

[AndresChileCL]

ALL CAPS IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!!!11!!!!!

Go back to newgrounds butthurt 8 year old kid :P

[newb3ter]

and you sir, a failing troll

[aflyingturd]

Hey! I remember seeing this video years ago on Newgrounds. I thought it was hilarious! And I showed all my friends. I don't know why you guys are hating.

[Error1355]

You see this? This is you missing the joke.