Added: 3 years ago
From: getfreakyinheaven
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  • i love when he wastes 2 minutes off topic haha

  • 274 are either white or have a terrible sense of humor

  • @Lokoperuano5 i have a bad sense of humor and apparently a lone opionion unlike you...

    ffs i hate people like you who decide what we like and dont like, go get a life instead of trying to have your 15 seconds of fame and attention

  • This video is one of my favorites! I love him !! i hope you are enjoying this as i am!

  • Everyone has mixed feelings about Dane Cook, in reality, he isnt very funny but I think its his body movements and energy that make people want to watch him.

  • I freakin love this !!!!!!!!!!!

  • just listen to it dont watch it its not funny at all if you listen to it

  • this dude can tell a story but he is NOT funny

  • @Yahwehsninja wow u sure can be a jealous negative lil fuck but u r jus NOT at all getting thumbed up u know y? cus there are millions off ppl who love dane cook so stfu!!!!!!! DANE COOK ILY <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

  • @jmbamazing uhhh ok, i dont care about thumbs up lol and reading the other comments on this video i think a lot of other people agree with me that he isn't that funny.

  • @Yahwehsninja Ohhhhhhhh hellz nah u bout to get me started ok do u need a fucken 1 million reason list y he is fucken funny cus i can give u that in 12.2 seconds im 15 n i find all of his jokes hilarious n i find him to be an amazing person i respect his kind of comedy n if ur not smart enough to understand his jokes than thats ur loss buddy XP

  • @jmbamazing 1 million reasons huh? ok better get started with that list, let me know when you are done :D I want a video response though cause you cause you said you could write it in 12.2 seconds.

  • Thats Fucking Maroone you idiot!1

  • he's more of a storyteller than comedian. which is probably why I think he is funny.

  • Wait is this supposed to be funny?

  • 42 people dont know how to lie

  • i havent done this is 14 yrs, come up with my own matieral

  • "Lie Accomplished"

    omg i laughed so hard

  • mean and not really as funny as his other ones. a disapointment

  • He's funny. If only he would realize he would be all the more funny if he did not have to rely on the "F" word.

  • "Karate is the Dane Cook of martial arts... We teach Krav Maga." Yea, calling something the Dane Cook of it's genre is now a common insult... because Dane Cook steals material ans is a douche.

  • i feel bad forever was guiding that spotlight lmao

  • DANE COOK IS AWESOME!!!!!!

  • don't you hate it when your thinking "o hey i don't think i've seen this before" and then your watching it and half way through your like o wait.... darn it!

  • lol his "friend" sounds like brucie kibbutz

  • george carlin > dane cook

    super herpes > dane cook

  • The first time i got high we watched Dane Cook, i didn't laugh once.

  • Not funny...

  • holy fuck this shit is brutal to watch. "why do they call it a "B" line?". wat.......this fucking guy is an asshat and if you think its funny you're an asshat too

  • god i kinda want him in my beddd haha=P

  • lol i love dane cook :) his jokes just isnt for everyone i guess. we wont all agree.

  • yawn

  • his fans are the same people who watch reality TV, which unfortunately is most of the US....I`m 22 and even I know the old days of comedy like Johnny Carson and comedians on his show are so much better than this...but the atmosphere has changed since then...people actually think this is funny nowadays.

  • ...wow to see someone who is this unfunny get such a big audience actually impresses me in a confusing, scary sort of way.

  • Holy fucking shit, is this seriously considered comedy these days? Who are these audience members? How low does your IQ need to be to like these jokes? If you can fuckin call em that... Sounds like that one guy everyone knows who don't know when to shut the fuck up cuz the stories obviously not that funny, yet he keeps going an going on when nobodies really listening. Only joke hes ever told i laughed at was one where he basically described himself lol

  • @TheBlacksiphon i guess that since all the classic comedians are gone, we just got to make do with him? :D But i think sarcasm humour is rather funny, not sure about you :/

  • @TheBlacksiphon Stop your bitching you little pussy if hes not funnt then why his he a rich fuckin comedian? yeah nice logic asshole and dane cook haters like who? jim norton? a bald unfunny fuckhead of a comedian? who else?! daniel tosh...a boring ass faggot who got really famous by chance...long story short,shut the fuck up:D

  • @Dude11191 Your obviously that one dude i mentioned lol. Don't get so offended, i'm just stating my opinion which is this comic could be better. The same goes for all the people you mentioned. Although i'll admit daniel tosh is a faggot. He's way edgier than Dane cook. All I'm saying is I don't understand why alot of people find this guy funny, you could watch a spastic monkey jackin it, and be more entertained lol.

  • @TheBlacksiphon I apologize for my anger lol I was in a crappy mood,anyways people like his style...random,spastic,and crazy humour I know its not intelligent comedy but its still funny to people...sit back,relax and enjoy your type of comedy.

  • lmao at 5:43-6:25

  • funny??

  • can someone explain what is funny about this?

  • @toddmastria1 dont watch it if u dont like it.

  • @toddmastria1 absolutely nothing

  • wow this guy sucks...

  • " and theres always that part in parenthasize (If you've hit the train tracks you've gone too far) and as soon as you read that KK-KUHH FUCK."

  • whats so goddam funny about this shit????......hes worst then carrot top

  • this sucks..

  • man! this shit sucks!

  • Dane cook is awesome but his kind of humor is not for everyone, i guess.

  • @MikePres91 y r a rigth?? cu a he dont even give mer a smile

  • none of this is comedy until 8:37.

  • This... is funny?

  • um....not funny. 

  • I LOVE 21 PEOPLE WHO DISLIKED THIS LIE ACCOMPLISHED!!!!

  • He's actually not funny at all!!!!!!!!!seriuosly took about 10 minutes to tell one joke....."B Line"=Gay.... stupid shit....anyone can think of this shit....its sooo late eighties comedian acts...... Holograms really?????STUPID!!!!!!!! This guy sucks!!!!Being a comedian is being clever..... Dane Cook does not = Clever....just saying :)ha

  • @mahkra101 THEN LEAVE

  • @445happy wanted to see what the hype was about... he actually was kind of funny before...not soo much anymore...hahaha ..."Then Leave"????leave what???wow...you must be from somewhere in the midwest or south....

  • @mahkra101 lol im just saying if you dont like the vieo there is no reason to put a bad comment just leave

  • @445happy Whats the point of "YOUTUBE" take the good and the bad ....thats whats its all about....Dont ya think?????

  • @mahkra101 this is a internet site not a life lesson im just saying dont leave bad comments on this video!

  • @445happy

    Why not? If someone sucks, he sucks.

  • @dirkschuitsma i say and i quote FAWK OFF =_=

  • @445happy

    Hahaha! I say and quote YOU:" this is a internet site not a life lesson im just saying dont leave bad comments on this video!"

  • @dirkschuitsma im not leavin a bad comment on the video im leaving a bad comment for you

  • @445happy

    Sure, but if this is an internet site not a life lesson, why leave bad comments for people?

  • @dirkschuitsma because u started it with leaving a bad comment on a video

  • @445happy

    Ok, fair.

  • @mahkra101 all that and yet, he still makes more money than you.

  • @mattakudesu 1.What does that have to do with what i said????? 2. How do you know that he makes more money than me..??? he's probably just a 6 figure guy...so then...

  • no joke though, dane cook is super fun at parties. 

  • Wonder who he stole this from

  • "dude let me write down the fucking directions to my party" i'm sorry that i sound like a total douche fuck writing one of the quotes from the video but that made me lol so hard.

  • This is so shit that I paused the audio so as not to hear any more while I type. How unfunny must the lives of those howling and screaming be to find this man entertaining?

  • @craigwithington then why in the hell are you watching it unless you secretly like him

  • @blastweather Is it not obvious? Lots of promotion has pushed his videos to the fore + I like comedy (well, it's alright for those as likes laughing...) = I checked out a cemedian who is meant to be funny. Is that unusual or do you only watch things on Youtube that you've seen before on TV?

  • @craigwithington well it doesnt matter  dane cook > randon hater on youtube

  • @blastweather I appologise for upsetting you, I merely posted my opinion as a comment on a video article on the Youtube website. The fact you feel so offended (I'm not a hater as you've decided to call me) could be that you've taken it all far too personally. However, your profile info - 'I don't read' pretty much tells me that you DO like this comedy. You are welcome to it, I made my comment and left. I'd like to leave again. Enjoy your world :)

  • @blastweather mitch hedberg > dane cook..... Dimitri Martin > Dane Cook

  • @rjnrf nope

  • @craigwithington dude wtf? he is so fucking funny, if you dont like him, ohk, but u dnt need to bag on the people that do like him

  • @JBPSP96 To paraphrase: Dude wtf? If you don't like my comment, ok, but you don't need to bag on me for making it.

  • hahaha strap o' death

  • This droll had me reaching for a bag of nails and a shotgun to end it all last night. He is as about as funny as The Pope.People will pay to watch any shit these days.

  • "ohh fuck, he's home watching tv, we gotta go!! "

  • He sucks the worst comic ever A total douche bag

  • @davgabe i didnt see u on the stage 

  • @davgabe FUCK YOU DANE COOK ROCKS!

  • @davgabe fuck you go to hell

  • ummm did someone in the crowd shout Texas in the beginning...?

  • 17 people did not make a B line

  • Nothing to do with hate, this fool is the least funny comic ever..  He sucks

  • @davgabe Why are you watching his videos then..

  • LOL that whole time, i was just WAITING for him to fall of the stage!

    lol, Dane Cook- best comidien EVER!!!!

  • "I need directions... Cause I need to know where I'm going!" lmao

  • whos the loser screaming in the backround???

  • he's HOT lmao and halirious

  • insert qoute from movie here [_____] laugh(as if we hadnt heard the quote already)

    

  • Dane cook sucks

  • @Qayoh

    your mom

  • Still fucking the repaly buttun, dane cook haters and ********** it. Nothin like a good lie. lieaccomplished. DANE COOK woot woot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!

    Thats a little ff- aka "funfact. a little funfact [include dane cook crappy impression] you hey you [i dont really like you that much]

  • I wish i were a dane cook i could fuck the replay buttun all day

  • they always write something like this "if you hit the train tracks you have gone to far" and just as your reading that, *thud* FUCK

  • His whole act & personality seems so cool, funny and just all around great. The fact that he's hella funny just turns me on! I think any woman can agree with me.

  • and right when you read that *boom boom* fuck..lol funny chiz

  • to the dane cook haters:GO SUCK SHITED,GOD ANAL RAPED,BLOODFUCKED,PIECE OF SHIT,GOD DAMNED DICK

  • @metalgearrexlover Hey, now that's comedy! Good word choices, "bloodfucked", etc.. You should email that little rant to Cook; it's funnier than anything he's ever said.

  • @Ohmythatspainful thanks,i get in the zone :)

  • HE has a hologram too!

  • "THERE's nothing amusing about Dane Cook, according to fellow comics and two Boston radio personalities who are about to name him "The Unfunniest Comic" this afternoon.

    WBCN jock Fred Toucher, who co-hosts a talk show with Rich Shertenlieb weekday afternoons in Boston, says Cook is the overwhelming favorite in a tournament patterned after NCAA basketball's March Madness, where he's ahead of Jay Leno, Jeff Foxworthy, Carlos Mencia and Paula Poundstone."

    NY Post, 2008

  • Dane cook haters can suck it

  • @MyDragonfli i agree. dane cook is awsome!

  • @MyDragonfli u can suck my dick u faggot

  • @chewties949 awe somebody is jealous cause I got thumbs up............ oh so close. i will give you a thumbs down jsut for posting a negative comment on a dane cook video....

  • @chewties949 how is he the faggot when your the one trying to get him to suck you tiny dick?

  • why is dane cook not funny?

  • @robbyjude I don't know. I wish he was.

  • wtf? these people seem to laugh at ANYTHING, seriously? 1:00 -1:06... i can see how that deserves a chuckle, but not a fucking howl from an audience... Dane Cook still needs to make me laugh `o`.

  • @Legendian That's correct. His fans will laugh whenever he wants them to, it doesn't matter if he's actually being funny-- a look plus a gesture plus lots of physicality plus some clever words and he has them hooked... it's as if they're brainwashed. I don't know of any professional comics who admire his work, and that isn't because they are jealous.. He never would have been able to reach this level of success without the internet. The club scene would have killed him.

  • @Ohmythatspainful you gay

  • Crappy video... Not funny man -.-

  • @Adkins52 I kno, he's so funny he has millions of fans and haters and everyone kno'z its the haters who make a Comedian,Artist,Actor so much better!!

  • "I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO THIS PARTY" XDXXXDXD

  • lol we'r all going to take painful shits.

  • I've heard good things about Dane Cook, so I thought I'd give him a go...But he's not funny. How can you find a guy who runs around and shouts at your face all the time...?

  • @Kirascry

    Everybody has a different sense of humor. All of us find Dane Cook to be hilarious but you don't. Maybe you like Larry The Cable Guy(Just an example) but I don't. It's all about different sense of humors.

  • @Macca1969 Oh yes I take that into account very heavily. I've just heard positive things about him so why not give him a go? Not my kind of stand up or humor, but no disrespect to his fans. =)

  • @Kirascry

    EAT A SACK OF BABY DICKS 4 WHO EVAH THINKS DANE COOK SUXK

  • @Kirascry Just because YOU don't find him funny doesn't mean he isn't....he's a worldwide comedian w.millions of fans...so its obviously just not your cup of coffee (or tea..idk where u're from)......Maybe you'll find Kat williams funny...both dane and kat are hilarious but different!

  • @MiSzManDyPanDy you wouldnt know funny if i hit you with a bat

  • WHat was once a safety harness, was now a strap-o-death

  • u should all try listening to this hilarous comedy while reading perverted sasunaru fanfiction

    it is actually quite hard to do so

  • Note:Hologram does not work against murderers and girls that want to bang you lol

  • 3:20 lmao!!

  • if uve hit the train tracks yuve gone to far..anmd right wen u read tht *clump* FUCK!

  • You know it would be funny if he was lieing about lieing(:

  • Its so wonderful how people with cerebral palsy are allowed to be comedians.

  • so my friends are trying to convert me into a dane fan, and i haven't laughed at any of his..."jokes". if you take away the hand gestures and turn down the volume so he isn't SCREAMING, he's just telling repetitive, unfunny stories.

  • @OhMyGodric47 part of the hand gestures and so called "screaming" is part of his i guess you call style, Its like for some reason everyone expects jokes. Jokes, jokes, jokes. Hes telling stories with his own little flare. You just have no sense of humor

  • @OhMyGodric47 No..you gotta have a sense of humor and 'get it'......If you don't like it than why bother commenting?.....i've clicked on other comedian videos and as soon as i realize its wack i click another vid....just because you don't like him doesn't take away the fact that he has millions of fans who find him funny..

  • @MiSzManDyPanDy His fans are obviously just getting their "comic appreciation" feet wet. How can a person enjoy, for example, the brilliance of Carlin over the years, or, say, the intellectual improv of Izzard, and then be expected to find Dane Cook funny? Because he moves a lot? His comedy is... "simple" for lack of a better word. It's too easy. We've all had friends at parties who have said shit that's just as funny as Cook's stuff. He's just a class clown made famous by the internet.

  • Not thaaaaat funny......

  • there is always a point in the directions, in parenthesis, that says, (if you hit the train tracks, you've gone too far) and right as you read that *bu-bump* f**k! lmao thanks for puttin this up

  • what the hell? is something wrong with me? 'cos I'm not laughing at all. it's not funny at all.

    oh and don't get me wrong, i'm not a hater. i'm just saying the way it is..

  • It's gotta be great to be a comedian.

  • "strap o death".... Classic!

  • 3:29 made milk come out my nose! lol

  • "Dont you get so anal." xD

  • this guy just isn't funny.....his jokes lack depth and are not thought provocative. Its very superficial. i can see a large number of people around him who are probably rednecks and have little to no intellect whatsoever...no wonder they laugh at possibly some of the most unoriginal jokes of the 21st century.

  • @descentfromhistory Your not cool.....Your comment lack capitalization and have incorrect punctuation. Look at all the people below me who have taken the time to refine their sentences, I can see a large number of people at your school standing around after you got your ass kicked for talking shit. No wonder the trolls search for people they dont like just to bash them.

  • @DouchebagComments Why in the world would i care about BS like capitalization & punctuation. You need to chill because this aint English class and I was just stating my opinion. I really dont think he's funny and I can name a whole bunch of others who are better than him.

  • @DouchebagComments dude chill out. YOU didn't even use proper grammar in your comment so stop hating on descentfromhistory when you can't type perfectly either.

  • not funny

  • He's funny remind's me of Lee Evans from england you lot should check him out search lee evans live @ 02 arena well worth it!

  • "He's another dis word i dont even know" lmao

  • I fricken love you! hah =) So cute =)

  • my favorite comedian <3

  • SCREW YOU BUCKO!! x3 we're all gunu lie...we're all gunu cry....and we're all gunu take painful shits XP

  • A red house.....its fucking maroon hahaha oh that dane makes me burst every time hahaha

  • lol turn at the red house "thats fucking maroon moron"

  • b line? thats fucking retarded

  • "I haven't done this in 5-6-7-8-9-14 years LOL!!!!! Oh my god, that is gold!! "I haven't seen this guy since like back in the day, which was a Wednesday by the way." LOL!!!! Oh my god...Dane stop, please you are killing me!

  • lol ! 8:30

  • lol his B-LINE rant

  • ahahahahaha love this

  • ok you don't like him don't watch him. dumb fuck

  • I watched the video to try to figure out why he sells out. 95% of his audience are teeny bopper girls who think he is cute. The other 5% are guys that think he is cute. Which % are you in?

  • im one of the people who stay at homecause hes not the greatest but hes pretty good

  • One of the more painful videos I have sat through. I stayed to the end to see if he said one thing that was remotely funny. btw....he didn't. Anyone who would pay good money to see him or buy his merchandise is an idiot. I would cross the street to see him in my neighbors back yard. Also, word has it he is a complete A-hole.

  • @Howiedoin77 you dont have to like him but every one has diffrent opinions so you shoudnt say shit that doesnt need to be said

  • lmfaoo