Alan Carr: Hard Kids and Texts - Live at the Apollo - BBC One

[IAMZAKARY]

i love him!

[juicirosi202]

@EggyPong Alan called. He said:" Fuck off shithole, noone gives a flying fuck what you think or say".

[EggyPong]

@juicirosi202 Well if he felt the need to call then he obviously does, along with you. Peter Noone evidently does too.

[feelingthesubstance]

@EggyPong you smelly cunt.

[EggyPong]

@feelingthesubstance haw haw haw, nice alan carr style humour there

[randomstuffmusic1]

@EggyPong fuck off you dick

[EggyPong]

@randomstuffmusic1 Get fucked yourself, you mouthy little spunk bubble.

[MyMusicalSoul941]

I went to see him in July when he came to my hometown. He was hilarious! I was laughing so much, my face ached for hours afterwards!

But honestly, one of the best nights of my life! =D

[030crash]

Did you really?! Did you really "I'vegottogototheshohageAHAHAH­A!!!"

[TheMatildaWestermark]

I love you don't make me cut myself! D: HAHA hilarious!

[1978ipswichtillidie]

Saw him at Wembley last week he was Fantastic

[avrilkidda123]

Mmmmm danon lol!<333

[rachel11smith]

I have a James and a Tom in my tutor, they never shut the hell up!

[erinhomerxx]

"your mum smells of piss" "so she should, she's 87"

[Jeffnumber1fan09]

What does he mean by mmmmm danen????

[toxic2k7]

@Jeffnumber1fan09 its one of those good bacteria drinks called actimel from a company called danone. and their ad slogan on tv was ''actimel.....mmmmm danone''

[Jeffnumber1fan09]

@toxic2k7 Oh thank you, that cleared things up lol, thanks alot

[likewhateva1]

love him.

he sounds like a " british " Roger from American Dad :)

[NarutardGirl666666]

"Played it cool: I LOVE YOU. DON'T MAKE ME CUT MYSELF LOLHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" O_e

My Gods, I think I love him. XD

[BelfastAtheist]

It's funny how all of Carr's fans are Children..

It's ALMOST like he delibrately made up some unfunny comments *about* Children, in order to *attract* Children to his ''Comedy'' and you all fell for it.

[OllieRockin]

I soo agree I hate LOL and FAIL infact I hate text language.

[1ibt]

@OllieRockin LOL Your comment is a FAIL... :D

[Krissyxxlyn]

Bwtween him and Michael McIntyre- I cannot pick which one I love best!

[ImaCremeTruffle]

@Krissyxxlyn same here :L

[BelfastAtheist]

@Krissyxxlyn

They're both cunts, so it shouldn't be too difficult.

[lauren22glenury]

I lol'd :-)

[Adz1992DD]

Greek Empires and Roman Gods? hahaha

[Noodles4Evar]

@Adz1992DD *Roman gods and Greek emperors :L

[MrJayel27]

Too right about 3,ive been with them far too long,got nothing for it and the reception's still terrible!

[samfromthorne]

I'm going to see him on Monday :D

[surana87s]

u r funny LOL!!!

[DrumNBassHero]

Im going to the shop HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH

Lol the laugh so priceless

[michael583503]

I love you. don't make me cut myself..

[sparkandflame]

I Love you! dont make me cut myself! ... LOL

Priceless.. :D

[always0808]

lol. hes barefoot :D

[LorenJade95]

One of the best comediens in the century! x

[J0kerCards]

The crazy, nervous looking laugh at the end was hilarious.

[theworldGodonlyknows]

where can i see the full thing.

[MrConnerBB]

I was one served with a woman callen "Mhmmm dnumm"

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

[DoomCart88]

legend

[xXxmissemmaxXx]

all most pissed my self. so funny!

[imanmjfanforever]

No humor like British humor... :D

[cannonballfroggy]

"I love you, dont make me cut myself!" Lmao

[xoxprincessnikix0x]

''Your mum smells of piss, so she should she's 87''.... ROFLLLLLLLL!

What a legeeend.

[AnnieCullenxx]

"you mum smells of piss."

"so sh should shes 87" :L

[TheSaintAza]

@simeonc94 Lol he's earning more money then you ever could, keep hating.

[248gate]

hahah omg this man i halarious i love him he never fails... mmmm denon hahahah

[ToManyPhones]

went to the shop to get some toilet paper LOL

[letdmusicguideu]

he is brilliant... love him

[rebecca1995fletcher]

i think alan carr is hilrious, never fails to make me laugh :)

i LOVE alan carr he's amazing

[boat142]

LOL at 1:51

[OrlaithRaaxO]

lmao oh wait i mean "lol" :L

[XxEbOnNiExX]

so funny :L

[ConorSomerz]

the wee geeky luagh at the end :L i was in tears laughing haha

'lol ahahahaahahahah"

[mekissingyou]

I know what he means about the 'lol' thing. I cant stop typing it everytime i text or email!!

[hillhop12]

this guy makes me crease!

always :L

[jonno2019]

most stand comics dont make me LOL but alan actually does, very funny dude

[shippy777]

shut yo black ass alan!

[Sazza91x]

"Your mum smells of piss!

...so she should, she's 87!"

[MsKoolcat09]

HILARIOUS XXX

[xmaster2]

"Iloveyoudontmakemecutmyselflo­lhahahahah"

Hahahaha, omg can't breath.

[retteretter]

If it's at the end it'll mean Lots of Love....

[13sarahrose]

fanfookintastic lol ;-)

[josiahivan]

alan carr is so funny

[Model19ify]

I Luv alan Carr such a comical guy

[SadSadDoomDay]

I love this man, very witty.

[DaOneToRuleDaWorld]

Alan Carr is so funny! I love him to bits! He is so good at on-the-spot comedy! Love it!

[RomacerForever]

ROFL

[kyle1282]

DIRTY GRAV !

[RomacerForever]

Kyle you big gay :>

[LickleMinx92]

hmmm danone.. his soo funny.. :L

[lozpot100]

@LickleMinx92  lol this guy is the best comedian even network 3 lol

[cmwissy]

I fucking hate when people abuse acronyms.

LOL OMG WTF DAIRY QUEEN.

[xxLittlemizhorrorxx]

DAIRY QUEEN???

soz plzz explain...

I get the LOL and the OMG but the other bit.... errrr dnt get it

[marzlindez]

hes amazing!!!!

[geography27]

I'm with Alan on the 'L.O.L.' thing

[KiRsTy01234]

this man is hilrious, never fails to make me laugh, one of the best comedians i reckon

[hissclick]

That was awesome.

[LickleMinx92]

i love him so funny... lol

[luciexeyahx07]

i love this man hes amazing :L

LOL

[gonetothebeach09]

Ya Mum smells of piss...So she should she's 87!

Toilet paper! Haahahaha!

[LadyScumBag10]

"I love you, dont make me cut myself! LOL!! haha!"

[Deefurdog]

OMG i know your gay and that, but i dont even care I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU!

:) i wish i was old enough to come watch you!

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU ALAN CARRRR :DDDDDDD

[squishy3000]

Mmm Danone! XD

[craziepopz]

his face at 1:34 :L

[xTunafishx]

i love you, dont make me cut myself! L.O.L!

awesome!

[Nikolidas]

Jewls, "Danone" as in, the people that make the yoghurt with "Good bacteria"

[stanthewolf]

hello lovers of Alan Carr! I am one of you! Please come read my stand up comedy blog which you can find by googling "hecklersmic" - make a comment, suggest a video clip and generally enjoy! Thanks for any help. HECKLERSMIC.

[girllik3chloee]

aubergine - fucking L.O.L.

[ScottScott12345]

Obergene lmao xD

[Dannyhughesj]

"Ummmm Danone!"

[RetardedFishFroggy]

homophobe? O_o

[thepontingxtreme]

very

[MrBooojangles]

The end of their website is bb cone, LOL.

[emaflyy]

"so she should shes 87" :L LOL!

[xTSxThugSolja]

haha choker him

[dking987]

this was well funny.

L O L

[gillygonebarmy]

i love you dont make me cut myself lol ha haha :L god i love it

[StarletDancer01]

Allan is my favourite comedian of all time!

[obnhefmhh]

just get yourself a network3 phone cos...

by the time you have got the text you'd have graduated, had kids yourself.

you mum stinks of piss.

so she shud shes 87!

[baby10234567]

i love u dont make me cut myself lol

[princesslisa31]

L O L HAhahahahahahaha

[ToManyPhones]

"Had to go the the shop to get some toilet paper. LOL."

HAHAHAHAHA... LOL

[BadWolfCustoms]

l-o-l

[hannahtosh]

"I love you...don't make me cut myself" :L

haha....alan carr is the best!

[Khronnus]

L.O.L HAHAHAHAAHAHAH!

[paedar12]

i was served by a girl in boots called mmmm danone lol haha hes my fav comedian!

[xBeccaBabesx]

Have you tryed flirting with texts ?

I can't work it out!

I got a text the other night

-Thanks for a lovely night speak soon.

no kiss, all in lower case so i played it cool and texted back

-I love you dont make me cut myself L-O-L!

AHAHAHAHAHA

so funny!

[xdanikaxherex]

HAHA.

[peetahp3]

:L hes awesome

[cybermum]

i love alan carr - he's the best!

still think him and justin could do a perfect piss take of the bounty ads

they'd make spot on body doubles

EL OH EL!

[liamrhysbond]

lol

[Goody2shoesambe]

Aubergeine Smith

lol!

[JackWilkins]

MMM Danone!!

[LOLZOK]

"i love you. don't make me cut myself... EL OH EL"

oh my god hahahahahahahah

[j05had00dl3]

lol :)

[alriiitemate10]

i love him, he makes me laugh so much! x

[hillhop12]

served by agr in boots m danoe.

now ther clled always

[glennr94]

he is amazing lol

[LILBAYB33ST3F]

hes amazing! (LLLLL)

[SongwriterChic]

so i played it cool

"i lvoe you don't make me cut myself LOL"

ahaa i love Alan

comedy genuis :)

[hillhop12]

hes so funny, lol network 3 he sed tht oan ToothFairy, hah i love u dnt make me cut myself lol hahahahaa

[LPxfairy]

'lol' i put that loads on txts XD

[david2008long]

he uses the same jokes as in tooth fairy

[year2000problem]

One of the funniest men to ever breathe.

"mmm, Danone"

[plendor]

I agree with Alan , lol nowa days is so crap and overused

[S4phyr4]

now even more so lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

:]

[1potato2potato345]

had to go to the shop to get some toilet paper lol  lololololol

[RhiC89]

lol!

[Cocopops305]

"Your mum smells off piss. So she should she 87" LOL

[gemmamurphyxx]

its mmmmmmm danone

cause its off the advert (8

[tomoblivion]

i was served by a girl in boots called hmmm danan

LOL

[chrislovit]

omg!!!! he is fukin amazing., the fiunniest man alive!

[onehotminutex]

It's so funny from 1:10 lmfao

[Kane1993x]

LOL love alan car

[cm1131]

what advice would you give to someone being bullied by text

if it wer me i'd say, dont giv them ur phone number!

[DanielSiggs17]

Thats true haha!

x

[KayLouise89]

i love him so much hahaha.... he makes me propa LARFFF.

(y)

LOL. haa

[chrislovit]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Played it cool, 'I love you, dont make me cut myself!"

[JordanR991]

Your mum smells of piss!"

"oh, she should she's 87"

legend

[20riot09]

rainman can do multiple things at the same time cant he?? thats prob why he said that

[sarahlambo]

on one of alan carrs stand ups it says something about 'rain man' he says some thing like 'one at a time, im not rainman' i dont get what he means by that joke, can someone kindly explain? thanks

[becklet123]

a rainman is someone with an extraordinary memory.

[EssexBoy696969]

How is any of this remotely funny?

Bring back the likes of Bernard Manning - REAL, POLITICALLY INCORRECT, WORKING CLASS HUMOUR!

[morralli02]

"Your mum smells of piss!"

"oh, she should she's 87"

hahahaha

[Kellykopter13]

soooo much better than lee evans.

lee evans is fucking shit. (:

[morralli02]

OMG you cant be serious!!

Lee Evans is hillarious!

[strettonage]

Init!

[SLR8795]

i totally agree lee evans is absolutly shit lol him and michael mckintyre i think thats how u spell it lol xx

[Kellykopter13]

ha, thankyou. someone who agrees! All lee evans ever does is make weird noises and swear constantly. seriously. Not funny. lol (:

[JordanR991]

micheal mcintrye is funny

[becklet123]

yh he is, but i prefer alan

[JordanR991]

i don't i prefer sean lock and michael mcintre

but every one has their opnion

[MrConcreteDonkey]

I like Sean, Alan and Micheal. They're all brilliant comedians.

[JordanR991]

Yeah i like most comedians in general

[bethjc]

mmmmmm danone! LOL!

Alan Carr is a legend =]

[williamwilson666]

Surely that should be Greek Gods and Roman Emperors?

[xxMarz456xx]

Good point!

[KayLouise89]

LOL!

no i actually did !!!!

HES TOOOO FUNNY

[laurareeve14]

I've got tooth fairy live on DVD it's hirarious

[ToManyPhones]

"MMM danone"

I've nearly chocked on my sprite after tha

[natalie0410]

LOL absolutely hilarious!

[Xbox360Gamer1]

haha your mum smells of piss so she should shes 87 hahaha >>>LOL haha

[FamilySimFemale]

"Now they're called Always..."

that's a type of sanitary towel!

[UncleKennybobs]

That's not Jimmy Carr!

[jakerobbins]

no its alan carr, look at the title

[UncleKennybobs]

You must be a genius.

[jakero]

no, just gifted