Malcolm Tucker - A Tribute to Brilliant Swearing

[cameraguy38]

Never before in the field of BBC comedy has such mastery of profane writing teamed up so effectively such genius of delivery.

[babaca1997]

3 then 6 for F**k you

[theSicilianToe]

When I told somebody in another video about Glasgow born Mark Knopfler being Scottish and not English, somebody tried to tell me that being Scottish is being English, and Malcolm Tucker was the first thing that came to my mind. "Dont ever call me fucking English again!"

[cameraguy38]

@theSicilianToe That's almost as bad as calling a Sicilian an Italian. I hope he never goes to Glasgow and tells them they are English...Though being English is really being German. I remember trying to convince a pub full of Englishmen that small fact, which they didn't appreciate.

[SpartanPict]

@theSicilianToe

Actually Matk Knopfler is a Jew - he's neither Scottish or English. Knopfler certainly isn't a Scottish or English name!! It's on Wiki.

[theSicilianToe]

@SpartanPict Judaism is a religion its not a race rofl

[SpartanPict]

@theSicilianToe Jews ARE a race of themselves. Google 'Jewish DNA' for a start. Judaism is a sort of religion. Jewry is a race. Judaism is the religion of the Jews. In Israel it is illegal for a Jew to marry a non-Jew. Most Jews in Israel are aetheist.

[theSicilianToe]

@SpartanPict ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah­ahahahahahahahahahahahaha what a retard. it must be everyday somebody tells me i need to educate myself on islam, that the zionists are trying to put their finger in everybodys pie, that the holocaust was part of a jewish plot to help the jews rofl. you need an education. are you arab? id understand better if you were.

[EvilRadiatedMonkey]

@SpartanPict You're telling me that Ethiopian Jews and the Polish Jews are of the same race? Fascinating...

[SpartanPict]

@EvilRadiatedMonkey Ethiopian Jews converted to the Jewish religion a long time ago. Polish Jewish are mostly Ashkenazim. Go to Wikipedia and learn about Jewish DNA. Jewish DNA differs very much from Arabic DNA. They have a biological identity like every other race, although they are more mixed than other races. Anyway, there are very few Jews in Poland now. They all emigrated to either the USA or Israel before, during and after the war.

[EvilRadiatedMonkey]

@SpartanPict So, we're ignoring that the Ethiopian Jews are black and the conversions to Judaism that happened throughout history just to call them a race? How cute...Also, I just went on wiki...

there are distinct ethnic divisions among Jews, most of which are primarily the result of geographic branching from an originating Israelite population, and subsequent independent evolutions.

Oh, and that a mixed group like the Arabs are also a race? This is ridiculous you know...

[EvilRadiatedMonkey]

@EvilRadiatedMonkey I mean it makes sense that because of the immigration and the seclusion the religion found that there shared genetics in most Jewish people to to genetic mix found in Israel, but that's because the similarity of paternal ancestors which lived in Palestine, I have yet to see that being defined as a race...Also, I really wouldn't suggest wiki if you're claiming Arabs are totally different, just for the bit of the Palestinian Arabs and Jews.

[GussetMonkey]

@SpartanPict pmsl jew is a cult religion of choice, not a breed. Semites are a race and the jew is very much a low percentage of any religion within the semites

[graceygrumble]

@theSicilianToe Thought Knopfler was a Geordie?

I mean he was born in Scotland, but if you're born in a stable it doesn't make you a horse!

[UrMumsVagina]

what a fucking ledgend,truely my hero.

[Canoodle4Yoodle]

I have to use "you are a boring, f, star star cunt !" at some point in my life. I'm thinking when I finally get to quite my current job. Love it !

[TheSheiban]

I have to say, Malcolm Tucker's swearing is more colourful than Picasso's pallate...

[susannaaaa]

Ovulating so hard now.

[t0myuri]

MOAR MALCOM

[MrCCollins1993]

Respect to the television network that actually aired that as an

,

[leapoffaith20]

@MrCCollins1993 ALL HAIL THE BBC!

[Whacko23]

"Expect to hear your mountain of conflict sound by everywhere from ringtones to a fucking dance mix on Youtube and I will marshal all the media forces of darkness to hound you into an assissted suicide" One of my favourite Tucker moments

[drjudaskillcounts]

@Whacko23 the media forces of darkness part is something that only malcolm tucker can make threatening

[panchamkauns]

This is missing the whole HORSE COCK bit!

[GTAkrazy]

Sorry u are a f STAR STAR STAR cunt LOL!!

[animachinium]

Great but he's even better in the Thick of It

[starcraftAI22]

I love this guy.

[The8thDOCTOR]

WE NEED MORE MALCOLM

[WARMAKER1814]

The intelligence we've got is so hard and so deep it will fucking puncture your kidneys!

[azuremist]

F * * Kunt

[filthymexican303]

little-ball-cock-jocky-Anne-th­e leaky fucking minge box

[MrSpurrier]

"Sorry i know you don't like swearing, you're a boring F*** cunt."

This had me in pieces lol.

[seamusmolloy]

"....leaky fucking minge box" classic

[SSCFPA]

leapoffaith20 - that's the best description of Tucker I've ever seen....weaponized the English language!

[Frefflica]

excellent.

[leapoffaith20]

Never have I seen a character who has so perfectly weaponized the English language.

[jhohcable]

The "F star star.... CUNT" thing is one of the greatest things I've ever heard in my entire life.

[TaintedFaith88]

i like how all scots are angry people in this film hahahaha malcom and his side kick jamie

[nayrnayr93]

"You area a boring, F * * cunt" LOL

[MrStephenRGilman]

"I will marshal all the media forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide."

Best ... threat ... ever ....

[ahriman46]

i love british accent :D

[RobbieMcDougall]

@ahriman46 SCOTTISH

[ahriman46]

@RobbieMcDougall yh yh

[RobbieMcDougall]

@ahriman46 Good, good :L

[elmattomagico]

"Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock! "

[xiFLaWLeSs]

"You'll go far. Now fuck off."

[AMartins92]

LOL I bet it was so hard to film this, keep their serious acting faces, any bloopers around? xD Many I am sure

[lolookphor]

@AMartins92 the whole thing is a blooper since you cant stop laughing xD

[MrJordiejeans]

i want him to be a teacher

[BLUEHIPPO47]

Happy fucking new year tae ye all..except for yon Tory fucking jiz moppin twats..n anyone else fa that matter..Regards,Malcolm

[LeopardJoy]

Holy F....I just tinkled me dainties a little! Christ on a bendy bus :*D

[largesatsuma]

How much shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it?

[cloudig]

not the time love I'm busy fuck off lol

[maureenOWW]

CHRIST ON A BENDYBUS....

[MrRascasseman]

It was a genuinly sad person who flagged this up to the Youtube authorities. It shouldn't. Primary school children should be taught that THIS is the way to swear!

[CivitasUltraAporia]

Ari Gold has NOTHING on Malcolm Tucker

[PurushaDesa]

@CivitasUltraAporia

You're not serious are you? Who's arguing that shit? Toby's girlfriend beats Ari Gold like her very own Baby P simply by default, since anything from The Thick of It and In the Loop knocks seven shades of shite out of Entourage.

[CivitasUltraAporia]

@PurushaDesa I think you misunderstood my comment.... we are in agreement here

[PurushaDesa]

@CivitasUltraAporia

Hah! No, you misunderstood mine - I might I've went in too hard. I know you don't think that. I'm just saying I can't believe there are people out there who would bother comparing them. But of course, I find it easy to dismiss anything from Entourage - a really annoying, shallow programme. When people say it's a male Sex and the City, all I can think is, why the hell would anyone want to be that?

[David59427]

Christ on a Bendy Bus

[hellsfoxes]

no lubricated horse cock?

[jhohcable]

Just when I thought I had already heard the best swearing possible in my life, I ran across a clip from this movie and holy fuck.

[irelandaj1983]

Dislikes - go fuck yourselves: cunts

[boschrzr]

Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock!

[M1K3R0LPH]

that advert at the end left a sour taste

[thaines]

@M1K3R0LPH

Actually, I thought that was funny. Don't think the voiceover has seen the movie, do you?

[M1K3R0LPH]

@thaines haha, i see what you mean, that has given me a great idea for a malcolm tucker documentary narrator.

[Sesquipedaliantique]

LEAKY FUCKEN MINGEBOX

[Sesquipedaliantique]

You get sarcastic with me again and I will stuff so much cotton wool down your fucking throat it'll come out yer arse like the wee tail on a Playboy bunny.

[Maltyz]

Not the time wuv! Im beezey!

FOOK OFF!!!

[pgfmedia]

6 people don't like this...they were of course american.

[jeanne7649]

@pgfmedia Don't be so daft, ye great bloody wanker! My love for Peter Capaldi knows no bounds, his swearing gets me hot as the sun in July, and I'm American, ye wee shite. Fuckity-bye!!

[mutsalove]

u say nothing! okay? u stay detached otherwise thats what I'll do to you LMAO

[palxue]

@mutsalove he says 'that's what I'll do to your retinas'

[mutsalove]

@palxue ooh thanx , thats lovely of you

[tinyrebellion]

little bo cock jockey

[2leftarms]

F STAR STAR CUNT

[GallagherWellerBrown]

I never realised that it's The Fucker in In The Loop!

[oblak989]

hahah, i'm fucking rolling on the floor laughing, heheh

[kevsterater313]

fukety bye

[telswood]

hahahaha "fetus boy"

[TheHalftimelord]

Christ on a bendy bus :')

[Airmaster167]

you forgot "Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock! "

[KingLaudrup]

The Glasgow accent at its best, gaun yersel big man, (Scots - offical language as well). As a Glaswegian English teacher in Spain , one of my students sent me the link. Need to go and prepare my classes, I wonder if the Spanish accent will carry it off as well as the great Peter Capaldi !!

[marcstewart23]

'the leaky fucking minge box' - possibly the greatest namecalling of all time

[massmouth]

Oh yes. Inspired

[moraymacdonald]

scottish antagonist.............. get him out of E

ngland

[thasnaps]

malcolm tucker is larry david on steroids

[SGTMattyW]

FUCKETY BYE!

[lowpro416]

amazing. really. amazing.

[pgfmedia]

5 dislikes, that'll be the PC lot! Gota love malcolm tucker.

[quinnolivia]

Malcolm Tucker is my hero

[weasleteets]

So wrong.......yet it makes me happy :)

[mmmbilly]

"Little Bo Cock jocky and the Leaking Fucking Minge Box!" Magnificent!!

[ToManyPhones]

"Go back to your desks and prepare to start briefing now." That's funny on so many levels.

[tarquinbiscuitbarrel]

this is the british version of clerks 2.

i really wasn't expecting it to be funny, how can politics be funny? but honestly i was laughing out loud throughout the whole thing.

[ToaztBusterz]

Fuckity Bye

[tinyrebellion]

little bo cock jockey and the leaky fucking mingebox

[mrcoke1234]

5 dislikes are 5 christians

[tinyrebellion]

@mrcoke1234 I think five people need to sit down and "enjoy" some private bollock-vision

[Rendell001]

@mrcoke1234 Er... I'm Christian and I love it, doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humour...

[NiNjABUg22]

Kiss my sweaty balls you fat fuck!!!

Gotta love that venom.

[lukeashmoore]

Proof that its not just Rappers that can make swearing sound cool. :p

[thunderpantz]

The British Samuael L. Jackson?

[lukeashmoore]

@thunderpantz. no, the scottish samuel l jackson you american cunt

[thunderpantz]

@lukeashmoore my apologies then.

[cormacf1]

@lukeashmoore

scotland is in britain with wales and england

[lukeashmoore]

@cormacf1 . argh, yes i know that. thanks for the update. But since they ARE separate contries only linked by political alliances it still would be nice for people (particularly Americans) to differenciate between each country and not be lazy and call us 'British'. I mean, come on, does it not annoy you when Americans say 'british accent'? I think each country has a slightly different accent, no?

[joewhittles]

@cormacf1 scottish people are very proud of their nationality. never ever tell a scottish person that theyre british.

[RagdollPhysics]

@joewhittles meh, alot of us are plenty proud to be British, which is our nationality - Scotland is our country, not a nation.

[joewhittles]

@RagdollPhysics i dont think you fully realise that the independance of scotland is actually an issue.

[RagdollPhysics]

@joewhittles yes a tiny minority wants independence and voter apathy gave us a nationalist executive, but that really doesn't change facts - Scotland is our country, Britain is our nation, and the vast majority of people are perfectly happy to acknowledge that their personal identity can be made up of more than one element. I for one served in a Scottish regiment, mostly alongside fellow Scots, and I never met one of them who wouldn't be proud of both their country and their nation.

[joewhittles]

@RagdollPhysics The Scottish nationalist party is one of the most popular in the country!

[RagdollPhysics]

@joewhittles the SNP enjoy lots of protest vote support due to the lack of popular opposition and drop in support for Labour, like the BNP do. But support for Scotland breaking away from the UK has always been a minority even among SNP voters, there's less support for it in polls than there has been for decades. one of the highest results record 28% of respondents would vote for it as opposed to votes against, the lowest I've seen was 3%. Votes for SNP are not normally votes for independence.

[joewhittles]

@RagdollPhysics its played down by the labour majority, but there are a lot of angry scots who don't like it and don't vote for SNP for the main reason of being a fairly controversial third party. I dont condone it in any way, by the way, lets not get the wrong idea.

[relmmih6]

@joewhittles rubbish.dont call them english.british is diffrent.most scots class themselfs as british.only the catholic ones dont

[LylesgoldMusic]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The ugly leaking Minge-Box

[espy90]

Why didn't you show the clip of the lubricated horsecock?

[spleefrog9]

fuckity-bye. i love that. that guy kicks ass.

[klugyboy]

All the media forces of darkness....Brilliant!

[4773266]

AWSOME! A must watch! FUNNY!!!!

[FuckImperialism]

Not even Charles fucking Dickens or Henry shithead James could make such high use of the english language.

[tinyrebellion]

@FuckImperialism god knows charles dickens tried... fuck about eight pages describing a fucking doorknob!

[Ashlemacq]

I remember the first time I heard "I'm sorry, I know you don't like that so I'll sort that out, you are a boring F * * Cunt I'm quite sure I actually let out a bit of wee. Pure genius.

[fnatic101]

is it wrong that his swearing impresses me? o.0

[PurushaDesa]

@fnatic101

You should be ashamed of yourself if it doesn't!

[tinyrebellion]

@fnatic101 its fucking poetic swearing!

[gloomyoutlook]

master race of highly gifted toddlers, rofl

[aarghapanda]

Leaky fucking mingebox. lol

[PurushaDesa]

"Master race of highly gifted toddlers"

LOL. And I love those tense scenes between him and Linton Barrick, that really creepy kind of conservative who under no circumstances will swear - or even shout. It's the repressed one you've gotta watch.

[gloomyoutlook]

@PurushaDesa

fuck, I just quoted the same line then saw this, haha.

[PurushaDesa]

@gloomyoutlook

Never mind. Plenty of Tucker Love to go around.

[tinyrebellion]

@PurushaDesa totally, my grandma hates swearing, tells me off if I say bloody, but If i was gonna put money on anyone in our family commisting murder it would be her!

[PurushaDesa]

@tinyrebellion

LOL. Well, I suppose every family gets to keep three horrible secrets, so you never know...

[hoorayforhipppos]

"Don't get sarcastic with me, son. We burnt this tight*ss city to the ground in 1814 and I'm all for doing it again, you frat f*ck."

I love this.

[Smokingfox3]

"I will marshal all the dark forces of media and hound you into assisted suicide!"

Oh man....im dying here...

[CyKoPathiK12]

hes fucking scottish.

[GerrardIsGod8]

Malcolm Tucker for PM :D:D:D:D

[randomjrr1422]

That's just not cricket.

[volaju2071]

The four people that disliked this video are F, star, star, CUNTS!

[BaileysMariner]

"Rob, Ennis, Little Bo, Cock Jockey and the leaky fucking mingebox, get back to your desks..."

[LisaMcAlinden]

"You'll go far... now fuck off."

[susiepussycat]

"You a a boring F star star cunt" lol briliinat lol

[GretchenDawntreader]

wowsa. I am not worthy.

[BrassVaz]

Golly!

[PiterdeVries03]

"You stay detached, otherwise that's what I'll do to your retinas."

[soufeastlondon1]

hahaha ur a f f f * * * cunt looool

[MrTonyInchpractice]

Fuckin' Jane Austin! Fuck off back to fuckin' Cranford! Wi' yer tea, and yer cake, and yer fuckin' horse-cock.

badges

[drplbiftin]

leaky fucking minge box, hahha

[keriquacka]

'fuckitty bye' & 'leaky fucking minge box' amazing lol

[selfobsessionhoney]

My fave Tucker moments are the 'She is standing for the British National Party..' and 'Massive Gay Shite' bits from Series 1 of Thick Of It.

Great video though, Capaldi is a sweary sex God :)

[anniej1961]

"i'm busy! Fuck off! lmao

[L0Z7AT]

"We've got enough fucking pentagon goons here to stage a fucking coup d'état!"

[YeomanTheDespot]

No one can swear better than Malcolm Tucker!

[TanushiHeadbash]

The funniest thing ever. For those who remember buffy's swearing keyboard we need a malcom tucker equivalent.

[tashpish]

haw!! fuckin feotus boy!!

[argoninja2112]

your Master Race of highly gifted toddlers can't quite get the job done....

[olliemad]

F*** cunt! haaa brilliant

[olliemad]

such a brilliant character

[KenKob85]

Peter Capaldi should have being nominated for an Oscar this time around. Saw it for the first time on Sunday and loved it.

[TedShatner10]

From 02:02 to 02:20 - FATALITY!!!

[danutcase66]

Another great line is 'Oi! Lord BALDemort - come the fuck over here'.Brilliant

[dajarvis23]

"you are a boring f * * cunt" = the sip of water I just took exploding over my keyboard

[joeisaflyingfish]

What!? You missed out "Get me fucking brian!"

[onedeafear]

Christ in a bendy bus!

[Ctaak]

Fuckkety-bye.

Superlative!

[jonnymo]

Just finished the film. If there was a college course on The Weaponized English Language this would be required viewing.

[NoriokoTheMagicSkunk]

Come on kids lets boot the English/Scottish/British debates out the window.

Its quite frankly really fucking boring.

[Kirochi]

@NoriokoTheMagicSkunk You are a total fucking patronizing eavesdropper. There's no debate anymore. I nailed it. nEXT.

[NoriokoTheMagicSkunk]

Bet you wouldn't have the bottle to say that to my face you cheeky wee knob jockey.

[nead61]

I heart malcolm tucker lol

[maxfb2006]

Scottish Ari Gold....

[CyKoPathiK12]

capaldi isnt british hes scottish.

[Slackula1]

Scottish is British is you clueless cunt.