Pole Tax clears committee

[Ecdysiast96]

If strippers were in charge, Jesus would have more than a second coming, everybody would be relaxed, and the government would keep the Washington Monument in its pants. Want a tip? Show me a little something first, like health insurance or your tits.

[Ecdysiast96]

I think there ought to be an Opinion Poll Tax. Any person who thinks that sexual arousal leads to crime owes me five dollars for the C.O.C. F.A.C.T.O.R. charities. The Coalition Overseeing Conservatives and the Foundation Against Cunty Taxes & Orwellian Repercussions. And yes, my collection baskets are real.

[Ecdysiast96]

Why should I pay for a pole I don’t own and didn’t purchase? I just hold onto it while on stage to keep from tripping over my stiletto stilts. It is just a ballet bar with an erection. From whence comes this phallic fallacy that sexually oriented businesses cause violence against women? To all my representatives in Da House and Senate, what happened to the separation of church and hate? I thought that sins were paid for in the afterlife?

[Ecdysiast96]

I'm Too Sexy For This Tax. There is a memo on the mirror in the dressing room. In addition to paying house and DJ fees, all dancers are now required to pay a “pole tax.” The money will go to organizations that help female victims of rape and violence. The politically and religiously conservative inventors of this tax feel that it will remediate the societal harm of nipples, boners, and fun.