[02/15] Lesbian Vampires can SUCK IT

[SawahFoSHo]

You called him Steve-o xD

[LestatDeBratPrince]

I laughed my head off when I saw my friend had Liked your video, since it didn't seem like something she'd watch so I just had to click on it! I'm glad I did, you're hilarious. xD

[carolinapink101]

i. love. you.

[NotSoHuprfull]

Gosh, you were sooo cute in the first shot.!

[OMGSaraE]

I love the beginning. I hate that Greg removed his videos because I always feel lost.  Who is Miss Lulu?! That has to be the most interesting coming out story ever.

[AaronF526]

Tyler was the standout star from the beginning.

[ISACATT88]

your so nerdy, i love you! =D

[AnnyPB13]

You talk really fast, but I understand you (:

[AvritGaeta08]

I am a hot Asian milf looking to hook up for some good times nothing serious. Click my username, go to my website and you

[15stargaze]

Awh Tlyer is so cute!!"DD

[mistressredbird]

What's worse than 1 dead baby in a trash can? A whole pile of dead babies in a trash can. Whats worse than that? there's a live baby trapped at the bottom! What's worse than that? He eats his way out! What's worse than that? He goes back for seconds!!

OR

What's worse than 10 dead babies pinned to a tree? One dead baby pinned to 10 trees!!

[468255]

THOSE EYES!!!!!!!!!! SO PRETTY *A*

[mar7iah]

guess what the tampon say to the other tampon??

you stuck up these bitches 2!!!!!! Lol

[iSerginhoo]

What did the black guy say when he stepped on poo?

Oh, im melting!

[starwarsmaniac90]

WTF were u talkin about!???!!

[SpiritOfTheWolf1995]

you guys are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!

[inkliizii]

I have 2.

1:btw, this is an abortion joke. Knock knock (who's there) you'll never know!

2:Why shouldn't you play UNO with Mexicans? Because they steal all the green cards!

[goldkear]

I would say Carson was the star of queer eye. Jai was just pretty to look at, but ultimately useless.

[taconic01235]

bwahahhahha!! --a bloody nose is what they give characters in manga to show they have an erection...

you like lesbians tyler?

[HelloMyNameIsJFACE]

hahahahhahahahahhaha I DID THIS TOO!!!! oh my GOSH I was like this HUGE pervert in elemetary school too I would look up boobs and penis on google and like well I knew about the History button because when you type something into google you already looked up it shows up so i was like OH DAMN and ANYWAY funny I didnt know that a vagina was a vagina and i heard everyone call it "gina" so literally i spent DAYS trying to figure out what it ment

[karlghaa]

power ranges is my favourite show ever =]

your cool

[jkimisyellow]

Oh getting caught watching porn.

But my mom tells me that she knew since I was 3.

Apparently, I refused to wear anything that wasn't one of the rainbow colors + pink.

[kiysalkeld]

ok the most horribly disgusting awful, yet strangely hilarious in a "oh my god i need to go take a shower after hearing that joke, but i'm going to laugh in the shower when i think about the joke" is this: what's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? i don't cum on an orange before i eat it.

SO HORRIBLE, I KNOW IT IS!!!! but i can't help laughing

[loonygrl21]

lol, the bloody nose was payback for the lez vampire joke ;p

[RyanJeremySings]

your coming out story is like almost exactly like mine, cool. But I was 13 at the time and i accidentaly downloaded this desktop icon of a naked man dancing and I couldn't find out how to get rid of it and horror of horrors, my dad was the first one on the computer after me. He was very suprised! It was so embarrasing.

[maiph05]

great joke, punctuated by your bloody nose! i get them too..often during sex

[MrBatmanfan92]

your sweet and cute

[cuteable128]

ur kinda scare me just a little

[Iniarrasn]

HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG! I LOVED POKEMON WHEN I WAS LIKE 9 YRS OLD!!! HAHAHA U GEEK! hahaha I was a Pokemon freak!!!

Guess what?? I used to watch gay porn when I was like 12 (no kidding) hahaha and one day my comp. had more viruses than functions, lol, so they took it to my dad's office to get fix, and the employee told me he had seen all my porn! hahahaha FRREAK!!

[aliciaesmegg51]

OMG im such a fan and i had never seen the first week!! I know, atrocious.

heres my joke-- how do black women fight crime? ... with an abortion

[ShoesAlwaysFit]

You are really sweet!

[jispy8806]

How do you get 100 babies in a phone booth?

A blinder.

How do you get them out?

Tortilla chips.

[elohelreh]

omfg! i just started classifying all these racist inappropriate comments...but then i saw the end of your video. well, i'm sure one's gonna watch this video - korey's cuter! - anytime soon.

[14ladygagafan]

ur gay?

[14ladygagafan]

wtf?

[wewillrockyou22]

why do black people only have nightmares? because the last one who had a dream got assasinated

(reference to martin luther king jr for all you idiots)

[Arydun]

Because Michael Jackson was 99% plastic, his body will be melted and turned into Legos so that little boys can play with him for once.

[ttstar101]

LMAO!

[bobozim]

After Farah Faucette died, St. Peter asked her what she wanted before she entered heaven. She said, "I want all the children in the world to be happy!"

Five days later, Michael Jackson died.

[deeesther]

Yeah. But he didn't die 5 days later, he died like 5 hours later or some shit. :)

[Yurg24]

The new barman in the pub is black, so I said to him, "Beer please, nigger."

He hit the roof and said, "Why don't we swap places, let's see how you like it."

So I went round the bar, he walked out then came back in and said, "Beer please, honkey."

I said, "Sorry mate, we don't serve niggers in here."

[Yurg24]

The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite.

He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?"

I said, "No, you're black and you smell."

[Yurg24]

When watching Michael Jackson's coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words...

Cool Runnings.

[Yurg24]

i heard in the news that a dwarf got pick-pocketed

i dont know how somebody could stoop so low

[Yurg24]

i phoned a rape helpline the other day

unfortunatly its only for victims

[Yurg24]

america 9/11

britain 7/7

you cant deny facts america.. britain is better

[Yurg24]

whats the difference between a bar of soap and a jew?

a bar of soap doesn't scream in the shower

[Yurg24]

statistically 9/11 americans wont get this joke

[Yurg24]

whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

steven hawkings after a house fire

[Yurg24]

why dont black people go on cruises?

there not falling for that one again

[Yurg24]

statistically 9/10 people enjoy gang rape

[cloudvongrimm]

and i can't wait to hear them all BECAUSE......im a freak... ):

rofl

you're so funny (:

[1912jackdawson1912]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THAT LESBIAN JOKE. PAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. oh dear.

[Ciiircles]

lol your funnay xD

[haleyymarie]

lol

when farrah fawcett died and went to heaven god said, "Farrah you've been so wonderful on earth, I want to grant one wish."

"Oh thank you," said Farrah, "I just want all the children of the world to be safe."

"Okay," said god.

So michael jackson died

lmao

[Dancrof80s]

thats terrible =p lol

[lavendarkittes]

HAHAHAHA. I just got your lesbian joke, and it took me A WHILE. xD

[MrPatrickmichael]

aw baby, mj died. i dont think the youngest in the group lives the longest all the time now...

[TylerMiddaugh07]

omfg you need jesus... gay is NOT the way....

[gabane]

A black baby was given wings by God.The baby asked "Does this mean I'm an angel?"

God laughed and said "Nah nigga,u a bat

[Dancrof80s]

ahahahaha i said that joke outlout to myself. i died laughing

[gabane]

Someone jus called & said theres a retard runnin down the street n shit stained underwear. Where da fuck r u goin? Call me if u need a ride.

[FluffyMuphin111]

What did God say when he made the first black man?

Answer: Shit, I burnt one!

[Tortise5634]

i dont get the joke...

explain?

[Covening]

Why must you be gay.. D;

[tessfreakingstar]

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse?

Neither did she.

what is love?

Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

and last but not least,

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

you'd run away too if your name was

GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

[Beyyume]

in the end fuck your glasses fool

[insaneblond]

So I live in a steryotypically rich neighborhood, and we put a spin on the classic dead baby joke:

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?

I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage!

heh heh...yeah i think its only funny if you get the steryotype...

[Stauderhorse]

And did ya know, sonny, that I've painted every single house in this town with no one but meself for company? But do they call me MacLean the house-painter? Nooo.

And furthermore, did ya know that I've repaired all the cars in this town at one time or another? But do they call me MacLean the auto mechanic? Noooo."

He gulped down the last of his drink, leaned in to the bartender, and said "But you fuck one goat...."

[Stauderhorse]

A man walks into a pub in Scotland, sits down, and demands the strongest drink the bartender can fix him. After watching the man for a few moments and noticing that he looks pretty down, the bartender asks what's bothering him.

"You know" the man begins in a thick brogue, "I've built every single fence in this town with me bare hands. But do they call me MacLean the fence-builder? Nooo.

[Ashbulwark]

So there is a black guy a revren and a monk so there on a crashing plane and the monk says "we need to get all the women and children off the plane so the black guy says "screw the children!" and the revren says "do we have time for that?"

[GigiLuvsRomeo18]

i get nosebleeds 2!!

i love u!!

ur my fav of the 5 gays!!

nd i dnt have a dirty joke 2 say

[seriousconversation]

Okay... this is kindda using your title but.... What did one gay vampire say to the other? Suck it.

I love you guys! Your so awesome! I'm watching like all of your videos and looking forward to more! also something completely and totally random, "It's YOUR cow!"

[steffieiih]

I don't know why but i never find this joke getting old.

What's the difference beetwen a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?

i don't have a ferrari in my garage. XD

[antifutureplan]

you've got the most AMAZING eyes!!!!

and u tell stories so well (:

[ghettojmoney]

Only have a few Jew jokes

Tyler I love you videos, you are my favorite part of Friday, lol

Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?

It stops on a dime, then picks it up

What is a Jews biggest dilemma?

Free pork

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?

A canoe tips

[livilivilivi623]

ahhhh! yawsocute

[gabrielle1220]

I LOVE YOU :D

[basketballrockskobe]

litlle johnny sleep one night but Then he gets thirsty right so he gets out of bed to go get a drink and on the way there he looks into his dads room theres his dad just railing his mom and his dad gives gives him the thumbs up and johnny just shrugs his shoulders and walks away so the dad finishes up and cleans then goes to lil johnnys room, and theres lil johnny just giving it to his grandma right dad goesJOHNNY WHAT ARE YOU DOIN and lil johnny says IT AINT SO FUNNY WHENS ITS YOUR MOM IS IT

[spiderdudesuper]

Gay Dinosaur: Megasourass!!

Lesbian Dinosaur: Lickalotopuss!!

Black Dinosaur: That bastard stole my bike!!

: D : D : D : D

What's Green and tied up in my shed?

My Nigger I paint him any color I want.........

I'm going to hell......see ya there suckers!!!

[gracieisgiggly]

AND!!! charlieissocoollike! hes the youngest and hes cute!!!!

[watsyourface]

i totally want to do you!<33 ;)

[seethebeautyinugly]

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

a white horse fell in mud.

harrharrharr, that's not very inappropriate. Unless your super creepy and into the whole beastiality thing... ew..

[edwardsgirl09]

my brother told me this one and i'm not a fan but i find it hilarious anyways...

Why shouldn't women be allowed to drive?

Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.

[wolfgirl7410]

lol. whats with the head thing where its pointing left one second and right the next and back and forth?

[happywilkie]

hahahahaaaaaa!

African Boobs?

WOW.

[OriJanelGangsta]

Dude, really? You forgot Bobby Brown of New Edition! Cmooon

[xXspartinXx]

Fumu...

How bout a pick up line?

'hey nice legs...

What time do they open?'

lol I know its stolen off of that movie!

>:U

But what ever.

[ZaneWulf]

My mom knew i was gay b4 I even told her, like way back when!

[stig2k6]

lol ur deffo the star of 5ags:P

[duncansomerside]

ps. im the same kind of gay guy lol my rents knew too, and we use the same words. like black girls. i love it hahaha

[duncansomerside]

hahhaha tyler your soooo funny! i loved your shirts btw. your videos are soo good!

[LeaLikesIcecream]

you talk 5 times faster then me

[KeroCake]

Ahhh you're hilarious!

I loooved your Pokemon sheets and shirt! :D

And I'm sure you've heard this but this is a good joke:

Why did the girl fall of the swing?

She had no arms.

[gilmoreguy]

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

They fall through the holes in his hands.

[danispin720]

OMG THATS SO FUNNY!!!.. and kinda messed up... lol

[aimeeduranfan]

LMAO!!!! XD

[slimtim1382]

I've got two that I'd like to share.

Why do lesbians shop at MC sporting Goods?

Cause they don't like Dick's.

What is true love?

true love is when your heart melts and cums out the head of your dick.

[evilfiredemon]

We like "freaks", 'cause they rock! :3

[kearrius52]

He kinda looks like a fatter fogal off of superbad

[Twilight444]

what did god say when he made the first black person?

must've burnt this one.

[LilPaperUmbrella]

That's horrible!

I LOVE IT!

Stupid negative thumbs >:(

[willrod1989]

I've got a really good one, and before you guys take this offensively, keep in mind that I'm gay myself (lol)

So, these three guys are sent to hell for being sex maniacs. As punishment, Satan says "I'm going to put my hand around your penis and let it melt away". So, he takes the first guy's penis, and it melts, and then he takes the second guy's, and it melts. He tries this with the third guy, but it still remains. The third guy winks and says "It melts in your mouth, not in your hand".

[diegos239]

LOL,love it.

[captain0blivious]

It's probably been done already and it only came to mind cause of what was said yesterday but:

How was copper wire invented?

Two jews fighting over a penny.

[iStarz007]

haha u called him stevo lol

[Sik15]

DANG that joke was disqusting! XD

[theIMAGIST101]

You speak reeealy fast...Well this is the first video of you i have seen... so it could be just this video.

[scibbirishm]

I loved your inappropriate joke.

One of my buddies told me one, you might've already heard it though.

What do you call 100 mexicans on the moon? A problem.

What do you call all the mexicans on the moon? Problem solved.

Bad joke, I know.

[N0ELLEx33]

this is the single most horrible joke you'll ever hear.

why do black people only have nightmares?

because the last time one had a dream he got shot.

YEAH I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD.

but srsly, i love all races, peoples. (: so don't take that offensively.

[BlairTexasRanger]

you're flamboyant enough to the point that i could tell the second i saw your channel...

what's red white and blue and sitting in a corner?

a baby chewing on razor blades.

what's red white and green and sitting in a corner?

same baby a week later.

[texaschikk101]

you're so happy and bubbly! i love it!

[kuzcotopia]

you're pretty gay

[digoth]

anyone know where he lives? i got a hitman coupon good for 3 weeks.

[chicagoguy19]

why is there no thurdays??

[blackbeltbrave]

this was b4 they got joe.

[kre8tv]

BEST INAPPROPRIATE JOKE EVER:

A good friend of mine came up to me and told me it and i laughed so hard. and then felt bad, but i don't really care. it's funny AND really offensive. so it works wonderfully.

What do you say to a black jew?

Get to the back of the furnace.

[xDxRabbitx]

No, of course not!

He's just on the channel "5AwesomeGays" because he feels like it. Don't judge him!

[aleksdeabreu]

Alright, I know I'm eons late to comment, but I have a limmerick I always thought was pretty much wit-city.

There once was a vampire named Mable,

whose periods were always quite stable.

And every full moon, she'd pull out a spoon,

and drink herself under the table.

[Kprime2002]

OMGOD you are soooo funny I like the other guys too; you guys are funny..But I thought that it was funny that you said that you use to steal the NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC Magazine thats too funny. OH and I like the pokemon shirt lol. I have a perverted joke here it goes. A japanese girl was having sex and accidentally farted. She said,"Oh me so sorry. You make front hole so happy, back hole blow you a kiss lol

[yessimhere]

wow tyler, i LOVE you.

in a non creepish way.

i have no good jokes.

how terribly dreadful.

oh well (:

[Dark417]

It's a running gag on Japanese anime that when someone hears or sees something perverted they get bloody noses. :P

I was super perverted in elementary school too. I used to invent the DIRTIEST scenarios for my friends and some of them involved the male teachers and 'detention'. XD

[sweetxrapturedxlight]

Not just Japanese anime... a bloody nose is actually a euphemism for getting turned on.

[SkaRobot]

here's my favorite horribly racist joke:

"what do you get when you breed a black man with an octopus?"

"I don't know either, but it sure could pick a lot of cotton."

[urbongo]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[MimiNirvlarva]

u actually are the star lol!!

[eldritchowl]

fdajk

I love you and your videos.

In a non-creepy way.

[thepianomaniac]

nice listing those 10 groups of 5! it's like you knew them all of the top of your head! :)

[edward1draco77]

Hmmm... OH!

There was a mexican and a black guy in a car, driving down a highway. Who was driving?

---

Guess! Guess!

---

Answer: A police officer.

Lolz

[urbongo]

lolololol

i love racist jokes =D

[soniaisthewalrus]

Okay. This is a rank one. Brace yourselves kids.

What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood?

---

You can't gargle sand!

[itsvanwyngarden]

in TYLER durdrn we trust~

[londonbird]

11: Nick Valensi of The Strokes!!!

[Uhsheel1515]

jesse mcartney from dreamstreet :D

[LilPaperUmbrella]

OMG I HAVE THAT SAME HAT!!

[foodledoodle15]

lol i used to look at porn too but now it just bores me and i used the guest account that you can turn on and off on my laptop it works :)

[foodledoodle15]

i would never guess that you were gay

[itskellyorsomething]

hahaha i was a bit of a perverted child as well... but luckily the history never showed up on our computer. i grew out of my perve ways by the time i was 10.

[KingdomHearts535]

okay this is messed up but:

What the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds?

THERE'S TWENTY OF THEM!!!! haahaa. i know... i know...

[PlaidDuctTaper]

Also the red ranger was gay so to be the youngest, hottest and gayest now thats a plus!

[FashionKid123]

Im flamer honey!

more than you!

[danielle666a7x]

I know one XD Little girl walks into the bathroom while her mom's in the shower and asks "What's that?" Mom answers "a vagina" The little girl asks "in about 10-15 years." The she walks in while her dad's in the showers and asks "what's that?" He answers "a penis" She then asks "When will i get one of those?" The dad answers "in about ten or 15 minutes when your mom leaves" i laughed when I heard it, then felt bad.. then laughed more lol

[RFSCREW]

i like you lol

[xxPantlessWonderxx]

I also was a proud elementary school pervert x]

[loveyahunn1036181841]

My joke:

There was a old couple on the road and the police man pulls them over.

The police man starts writing the ticket and asks "Where are you from?" The old woman says "What?" and looks at her husband. the husband yells "WHERE ARE WE FROM!!" and the lady looks at the officer and says "Nebraska." The officer said,"Oh, I had the worst sex there." and the old lady turns to her husband and says "What??" and the husband says "HE THINKS HES MET YOU BEFORE!!"

[DullSoda]

Im 11 and im gay.

xP

[fishboy671]

no one cares

[solilohqwee]

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".

[solilohqwee]

This one is pretty taboo-y. <.<

There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

[dukegrl221]

ok so there was this guy who thought that his wife was cheating on him, so he went to visit a sniper. This sniper said that he charged $1000 per shot. So the man said ok i want you to shot my wives mouth off cause she always talked to much and the man she's cheating on me with shot his dick off to teach him a lesson. so the sniper aimed and then he told the man "i think i might be able to save you $1000."

Get it?! hahaha :D

[CassG08]

i love it when you ramble!

[angeliiine]

I don't know if anyone has said this yet but it's my favorite:

What's the difference between a Jewish person and a pizza?

Pizzas don't scream in the oven!

[okhighfive]

an asian man, an african american man, a native american man and a caucasian man are all standing on a cliff. the asian man goes to the edge and says, "this is for my people" and walks off, sacrificing himself. the african american man goes to the edge of the cliff, says, "this is for my people" and sacrifices himself. the native american man walks to the edge of the cliff, says "this is for my people" and pushes the caucasian man over the edge of the cliff.

[crewingonstage17]

alright. innapropreate jokes. you have all most likely hear these both.

1) you don't put cheese on pasta but you eat it.

2) how do you fit 4 gay guys on a bar stool?

you turn it upside down.

and i wasn't trying to be offensive to gays. my best friend is gay and he told me that joke.

[raawrimamonstar]

i would just like to say that Carson is the star of Queer Eye, NOT jay.

=]

[xxdarkkornerxx]

XD

ZOMG

you looked at porn when you where in elementary??

XDDD

i didnt have the guts to do that until i was in high school!

XD

[mylovelydame21]

I'm going to hell for this...

Why don't black people like asprin?

*sighs* Here it goes...

They're white, they work, and you have to pick cotton to get to them....

I"M SORRY! It's the worst joke I know!!!!!