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  • "Wheres me passport? Can i punch women in the face?" hahahaha

  • The Devil has written a book!! Its called the Bible

  • I love how the world is so f'd up that the truth is considered offensive.

  • Religion generally teaches that if you grit your teeth and bear through this life, you will be rewarded in heaven. Fuck that. I'm not gritting shit. I will be at peace with whatever is true. If life goes on after I die, I will be at peace. If it doesn't, then I'll be at peace now. Either way, no religion is going to tell me to do good because I'll be rewarded. I'm going to do good because it is good.

  • @tpstrat14 religion is believing that the duck puzzle is a rabbit until the past piece is put in place.

  • I thought i heard someone groaning at him lol.. I love this guy.

  • I watched 2 of his full shows over 20 times each and all video's like this. He is just awesome and speaking the truth :P

  • It's funny that religious types are often labelled as intolerant bigots, then you take a look at the comments on places like this from the "enlightened ones"...

  • Unlike some comedians, where I just get a chuckle every so often, and then a decent life far between, I just get a constant laugh hearing this guy. He's the funniest story-teller I've heard.

  • Religious people have no fucking sense of humour whatsoever when it comes to their religion.

    Scientists can joke about science and reality, and often do.

    Religious people can't because what they believe is so far removed from the time in which it was written, it's demonstrably bullshit, but they HAVE to accept it.

  • @JeefCakes You are absolutely right! Religionists have little to no sense of humor because humor brings out reality of life.  They would rather live in their religious bubble and remain delusional .

  • @1949rickray - That's so far from correct! I'm a Christian, a standup comedian/writer/filmmaker and I do love Jim. Comedy comes out of anger, strife, frustration and then it's reworked back into a socially acceptable way. NOw, I can't say for sure though about Jim, but most comics I've met are highly miserable people. Very sad, usually with dependency issues and not happy. Now, maybe a spiritual aspect would change things.... maybe not, but hey, this is Funny!

  • The devil does have a book.The"Codex Gigas". I saw it on the history channel. Interesting shit

  • omg i fuckin lov this man

  • "Please know that you're wrong." Damn straight.

  • hes an IDIOT!!! but it funny

  • @pmoore148 How is he an idiot lol

  • hahahhahahafucking awesome :D LOL!

  • @JaCkMiChEaLs0n You are my hero

  • @RectumPunch i know, im awesome. if only more people would appreciate it.

  • @trumpetdudeman how about the 999 other errors?

  • @trumpetdudeman he makes good points, but you choose to ignore it.

  • This gets funnier every each time i watch this :D

  • @JaCkMiChEaLs0n because pandas suck

  • @deathman1021 O_O blasphemy

  • He is Australian drunk.

  • funny but ignorant

  • I don't know which is better: the Fact that I thought he said "raping a Monk" or the Fact that he said "raping her Mum".

  • this guy must really hate life 0.0

  • @hangrybee lol isn't that exactly what he said right at the beginning? Not a very good argument to start out with, huh?. I am atheist but I look for hope and meaning in life AND I find it. This guy does NOT represent my atheism at all...

  • @tpstrat14 You can't represent atheism..... Nihilism is something else, atheism is not a religion, it's just a term. Nihilism states that life is meaningless in itself. So saying he doesn't represent "your atheism" in general would be a flawed statement

  • @ScandinavianEmokid I guess I should have just said he doesn't represent me.

  • @tpstrat14 Yeah, that would be better, or that he doesn't represent you as an atheist.

  • More likely to offend Panda lovers. Haha

  • LMFAO "There's a panda! GO FUCK THE PANDA!"

  • Dear Mr Jim Jeffries, you easily make my "top ten love to have a beer with" list.

    Hilarious, well done!

  • Love it. Religion is for morons. Period.

  • A pissed Aussie making more sense than most of my friends and family.

  • "I hadn't existed for billions of years before I was born and have not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." - Mark Twain

  • @QSxFuzionzZ "God sends a plague on the Pharaoh and his household because the Pharaoh believed Abram's lie. 12:17" - No, the plague was sent because Pharaoh took a woman by force. And although Abraham didn't speak the whole truth, he didn't lie. But that is irrelevant to the actions of Pharaoh. Whether Sarah was Abraham's sister or his wife, Pharaoh had no right to her.

  • I love you Jim Jefferies!

  • HAHAHAHAH one of the funniest video i've soon on youtube ever

  • People need to relax. Its a comedy bit. It is supposed to make you laugh. I highly doubt Jim would make sweet lovin' to anything after being in a cage for more than a week...his last joke...THEY ARE JOKES people... relax this is not real.

  • Christianity is completely different to Islam. Islam is 10 times more stricter and evil. Apostasy in Islam is death by stoning, there is no punishment for apostasy in Christianity - you can choose your own path whenever you want to. Islam makes their women wear face masks, what God would cover the face of their creation? Islam is an extreme religion with no place in modern society. They talk about living by the quran because it has good morals, which is completely untrue. + I only believe in God

  • @ITroll4DaLOLS

    Everything you said about Islam is also required for Christians. Read the Bible. The only reason why Christians don't stone children and women to death, and kill Atheists and such is because they haven't read the bible. Christians ignore the majority of the Bible. Women in the Bible are referred to as half a man and aren't aloud to speak in a Church, and must be covered (The covering of women doesn't originate from Islam).

  • @DanieltheSkeptic That is aloud of bullshit.Woman aren't considered as half a man, give me evidence. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that people should be killed for apostasy, give me evidence.Nowhere does it say anyone should be stoned to death, give me evidence.Nowhere does it say woman who God created should be forced to wear masks to cover their faces which God created,please give me specific evidence from where you found your information,because what I can you don't understand Christianity

  • @ITroll4DaLOLS

    The evidence is in the Bible. Read Deuteronomy for the stoning to death of children, and how women have to marry their rapists if they are raped. For that specific verse I believe if I remember correctly is Deuteronomy verse 22 to 23. The fact that you think that the Bible says nothing I've stated is proof you haven't read it. Especially the Old Testament.

  • @DanieltheSkeptic

    1 Corinthians 11 verse 5 is where it states women must have their head covered, or their head must be shaved. Deuteronomy 6:15 is where worshipping a different God leads to death. 1 Corinthians 11:3 is the verse where Paul states that women are subordinate to men.

  • @ITroll4DaLOLS

    Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 is the verse where rebellious and stubborn kids must be stoned to death by their Father and the men of the neighborhood. OH and my personal favorite. Deuteronomy 22: 22-23 states that a betrothed virgin is to be killed if she is raped and cannot cry loud enough.

  • @ITroll4DaLOLS

    Jesus is okay with the statements of the Old Testament according to the New Testament - Matthew 5:17.

  • @ITroll4DaLOLS

    I can go on and on with quoting both Old and New Testament on its massive amounts of violence and cruelty.

  • He relies on swearing to be funny, which makes his jokes weaker, but his ideas are solid.

  • @HSAdestroy What a crock from a concern troll. His swearing does not diminish his jokes, it diminishes YOUR enjoyment of them, which is largely irrelevant.

  • @socioman Umm I'm not offended by his swearing, I'm neither a religious busy-body or a concerned mother. As a comedy lover, his reliance on swearing as the punchline weakens some of the funnier parts, that's why comedians like Seinfeld don't swear.. as they've explained; it forces them to write better jokes.

  • Brilliant what he says about christian people ... !

    Greetings from germany.

  • Why not just shut the fuck up and enjoy some good comedy? Who cares about your "beliefs"? No one. That's the problem with the internet, it's given everybody the ability to voice their opinion... even the stupid ones.

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  • From BBC News a few days ago:

    "Recent studies suggest a link between the conservatives and low IQ"

    Obvious much?

  • @ol0pl0x That is the single f***** funniest factual thing i've heard in months... Omg I need to show everyone!

  • @ol0pl0x

    Dw they also show a low level of empathy with high level iq ;)

  • @Dingocarpet Well there's a valid reason now isn't there

  • @ol0pl0x not all conservatives are religious (me for example) and not all liberals are atheists because its logical (IE the angry atheist bloggers that got finger fucked one to many times by a religious figure)

  • @alexjxcx Never said all atheists are smart, only that no conservatives are

  • @dzihouchan

    i doubt about the poetic part

  • fuck pandas

  • @Minisniper555 you have obviously never meet my ex she is pure evil, and by the way there is no god or devil grow up

  • Oxford Dictionary definitions:

    Gullible: "easily persuaded to believe something credulous"

    (Credulous = without proof)

    Faith: "belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof"

  • i was fucking cracking up the whole time when i was watching this. and not only because he is funny, but because he is right.

  • @mikesavio66 haha yea...I love comedians that make me laugh because what they're saying is true AND they add that slapstick, "silly" humor in with it.

  • thats not horrible. thats class, whitty, and truthfull

  • Evolution! Who's with me?

    We're in the year like

    40000000 or so

    Dinosaurs- 65 million years ago.

    Moon created- 2 or 3 billion years ago.

    And the universe is like 14 billion years young.

    And we will all be fucking dead before the universe even egknowledges we ever even existed, hats off to you jim.

  • awesome!!

    

  • @robin20116 plus Joe Rogan & Bill Maher

  • @robin20116 you mean except for all the american comedians that do acts like this? think before you speak, or better yet do some research

  • F'ackin.

  • @robin20116 Look up George Carlin

  • @robin20116 Or Bill Hicks for that matter. Might also throw in George Carlin, Loius CK etc. etc.

  • @robin20116 uhhhh, yeah, every heard of Doug Stanhope??

  • Got to pause this shit when taking swig. JUST in case ............. hilarious

  • This shit is soooo fucking funny but to all the christian shit. Who cares what people believe in. I believe in we don't just live to fucking one so called life to die and rot in the ground. No point of living honestly. I believe if we go somewhere else and just can't remember it or aliens made us or there is more than 1 "god", believe in something is better then nothing atheists. Just saying. Something made us, we just dont know what

  • @FatalSensation Your parents made you.

  • @FatalSensation That's what life is. To live and die. Plants and animals all live and die. That's just life. 

  • @FatalSensation ''We know something made us'' No, we don't. Where the hell did you pick that up?

  • To the comment about American comedians not having bawls, Daniel Tosh makes me disagree, the only one who does tbh, otherwise ya totally dude is brilliantly funny.

  • @LamentfullMiss

    Born in Germany ;-)

    But Yes, American and funny as Hell!

    Also like Bill Maher who actually can be quite cruel to Religions ;-)

    Otherwise: Canadians: Jason Rouse is GREAT!

    or English: Jimmy Carr

  • Dude I was quoting the bit. LOL Anyone that worships anything but themselves is a fucken weak minded moron!! Thinking that if you talk to some imaginary person in the sky and he will solve all your problems in lunacy! As far as all the holy wars its absurd. All it is is another reason to kill people. Religion is worse than racism its just another reason to hate!!

  • As far as I know the devil doesn't have a book!! The devil is being the bigger man!! LMFAO

  • @bighooligan909 I thought the Satan did have a book, it's called the Bible and he's got everyone thinking that he's God. Look at how many people God has killed in the Bible as compared to Satan. God Murders 2,000,000 (A VERY conservative number) and Satan only Murders 10 TEN!! and that's because God let him. Sheesh, God even kills his own son to make up for mistakes that God made with Adam & Eve. No wonder Christians are so screwed up!! They worship a Deity that's a mass murderer.

  • @coyoteself Jesus' sacrifice was to pay for the sins we commit not a mistake. and god created life thus can take life away

  • @toecompo Sorry neither of those rationalization work. If God were a loving perfect God then there was NO reason at all to sacrifice his own son to pay for our sins which God allowed in the first place. As for."God created life thus can take life away." If you were to kill your own children and used that statement as your defense at your trial, you would be in solitary confinement because every prisoner would want to tear you apart. Again, God shouldn't need to murder his children 4 any reason!!

  • i have a radio in my car

  • "He was a thinker!"

  • this guy is great

  • How interesting that the atheist comedians make the smartest jokes. Gorge Carlin, Ricky Gervais, Jim Jefferies, Jimmy Carr, Seth MacFarlane

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  • Pandas are cunts.

  • "wheres me passport? can I punch women in the face?"

  • seen this 5 times. still laughing

  • All hail the drunk stand up comedians!!!

  • Not that Mr. Jim isn't hilarious - 'cause no doubt about it he is- but isn't he also pissed squared?

  • you put me in a cage with anything, ANYTHING, AND AFTER A WEEK l'll FUCK IT!!!!

  • Is it that hard to type Jim Jeffries right?

  • There's a panda! GO FUCK THE PANDA

  • he is awesome! I wish I could see him live someday :) He gives George Carlin a run for his money, but in a totally different way!

  • Haaaaaaaahahahahaaahaaaaa

  • fucking hilarious! I'm seeing him this weekend :D

  • @blinkythewabbit I am so jealous! I hope he does another HBO special soon so that I can see his new material too x)

  • Wow. Just fell in love with this guy. Awesome. As a person just getting into stand up....this guy makes me want to quit.

  • Lol hilarious :D

  • lol the majority of the world population, regardless of what peoples believes are, is not really gifted in the brain compartment. The comments below prove it, people lack understanding and tolerance about what pretty much everybody else believes in. not much difference in meaning: 'every kind of religion is bad' vs 'every other kind of religion is bad'. wisdom is not based on (not) believing in god(s), its based on how much you learn about the rest of all that is. good sketch though

  • This dude is my fucking hero! I can relate to him so much

  • I'm definitely going to look up George Carlin, Thanks for the info :)

  • Good stuff!! . . .

  • @robin20116 george carlin did this long before jim, doug stanhope goes even further than jim, so not all of them

  • @thetrollking124 No it's not, theirs no belief in a higher power, no church of atheism. And our science is what causes us to believe what we believe, but athieism isn't a belief system, it's simply relying on evidence to justify belief in anything. I'm privileged to be an athiest and not have to believe that someone else controls my life. I like being in control of my life, it gives me purpose. I feel sorry for religious people or as I like to call them: delusional childish idiots.

  • @qaz134

    Fucking oath.

  • @chriss0008 I thought the Christian god was forgiving? Look up athieism for idiots on YouTube, ahhaha Christians are just the worst kind of human beings

  • @thetrollking124 you are right and if you dont play football you are making sport

  • LMAO

  • Hhahahaha question to the Christians, if you truly believe you will go to a better place after you die. Go kill yourself! Jim jeffries is a stand up comedian. Who ever goes to his show and groans/boos is retarded. You go to a comedy show and freak out when he tells jokes? Hahahaha Christians suck

  • @qaz134 If they commit suicide, they go to hell... And the bullshit goes on!

  • I love how every video that is posted by an atheist, it always has a like/dislike bar and open for comments. Most of the theists pages I see that have videos block the bar and comments. That should explain a lot

  • @ryankc83 All that it explains is the overrepresentation of athiests on the Internet. It's the same with libertarians. Any thoughtful critique of libertarianism is highly likely to be flooded with dislikes and comments consisting of recited talking points, while half assed video responses are usually met with praise. While I am an athiest, I am a political minority on the web. I can sympathize with christians in this regard.

  • @ryankc83 Keep in mind that in reality, 80 to 85% of americans are christian, while roughly 10% are libertarian. Spend some time on the internet, and it seems as if the reverse is true.

  • @ryankc83 so true. i like to think we're more open minded to hearing other's opinions, where as theists, not so much

  • @ryankc83 Or when they do allow ratings, it looks like a sith lightsaber, while an atheist's bar looks like a jedi lightsaber....this does explain a lot! Carry on, free thinker!

  • @ryankc83 i wander why..... :)

  • everything he says about religion is logical and philosophical with a hilarious twist.

  • lol this is so goddamned funny, yet still my exact arguement.

  • this is great

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Where was this filmed?

  • His accent makes everything better.

  • FUCKIN PANDAS!! LOSE THE CUNTS!!

  • Brilliant. 

  • "I know this is a Christian country and I stand by your right to be religious, but please know that you are wrong" haha! go right for the fucking deluded cunts jugulars Jim.

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  • definitely the best jim jefferies bit ive ever seen

  • LMAO.... best comedic scene ever!

  • At the end of this video, did anyone else see the featured video, "Homeless Boy Steels the Talent Show" with the thumbnail of an Asian lady with her hands on the side of her face and an "I can't believe what I'm hearing expression" on her face.

    Must have been a panda fan...

  • "AREN'T PANDAS A BUNCH OF CUNTS!?" * applause*

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  • this guy needs to be president :)

    

  • @MrJep0 He's from Austraila! We dont have a president, we have a Prime Minister!!

  • hilarious...as soon as religion comes into play - logic and rationality goes out the window.

  • Wow I almost died because I laughed so fucking hard... Christians are fucking wrong. About everything

  • @coleblitz127 About everything ? My mom's a christian, and she thinks creationists are dickheads. Isn't wrong about that is she ? Christians might have strange beliefs but let's not overgeneralize shall we ? If we do they'll have (shaky yes, but still) ground to attack us non-christians on.

  • @coleblitz127 I laughed sooo hard at the Noah's Ark bit involving the dinosaurs. My mother is a creationist and believes dinosaurs and man existed together. She also believes the Earth is 7,000 years old. Fucking religion man...

  • @EnderWiggin85 damn thats fucked up she believes dinosaurs and man lived together,she believes earth is 7,000 years old. a guess thats bad as my ex who believes theres a god because he gave her sight to see spirits and whatnot.I am so glad I stopped being a devout christian until last year, it took years of unanswered prayers and youtube vids by 43alley and thethinking atheist to save my brain.

  • @coleblitz127

    The worst wrong people are those that use their beliefs to make them submissive. Islam is the worst that facilitates this.

  • the devil is not in charge of hell, he is being punished in it, there are actually angels under the command of God who execute the punishments and guard the sinners.

  • @Lhaw06 hahahah do you even believe in that yourself?

  • @deathstreaks yeah i do and so do about 1.500.000.000 other people in the world, the issue of the devil being the opponent of God and having any power himself is a invention by christian clerics, it's not even in the bible as far as i know.

  • @Lhaw06 lmfao... you sound so stupid. when you die you rott in the ground, stop being a fucking child.

  • @Lhaw06 Where the hell did you get that bullshit from, lol??

  • blasphemy and obscenity - both in poor taste - are the last resort when you can't be original or funny. Why in the hell are so many atheists copying the methods of fundamentalists and insisting on converting the world?

  • @smb123211 its stand up comedy... have you been hiding under a rock the last decade? almost every single significant comedian has blasphemy and obscenity. and i dont think hes trying to convert the world, i dont think he expects anyone to take him seriously, again he's a comedian

  • @smb123211 Um, because they make a lot more sense than your stupid preachers, lol!

  • Holy shit, I wish American comedians were like this! My new favorite!

  • and everyone is butthurt

  • which show is this?

    

  • I love atheist comedians!

  • Ha ha ha this bloke reminds me of the way many if not everybody I know feels about religion in Australia and I piss myself laughing about Jim letting the bible bashing yanks know how most Aussies feel