On Duct Tape and Lies

[TheGreggiraldo]

@hermanliisgod1 well actually my comments are pertaining to the jokes in the clip

[hermanliisgod1]

Some of the top comments are pertaining to to the like bar... instead of the comedian

[TheGreggiraldo]

1219 people hid under their desks in case of a nuclear attack

[TheGreggiraldo]

17 people have been sent to washington on our behalves

[TheGreggiraldo]

1219 people protect themselves with duct tapes

[Benblues7]

17 people need to be taken out for electroshocks

[AlekSensej]

I think Bush is a inspiration(for comedy)

[WaiLong0003]

Any fuck who says that this man sucks or anything could kiss my ass and tickle it with their whiskers...

[tilhon]

WELL I DON'THUFUCK



[drrcm81]

I'm normally the guy at 4:40 - 5:00 laughing by himself

[zambonyify]

15 people were inspired by their high school principal.

[pvtbonner]

^ 27+7=34 poeple dont give a shit about who gives a shit.....

[singersglen1]

Truly hysterical. Love Lewis Black!!!

[biketourist60]

I'm a teacher and we still have "duck and cover" drills. I think by law we have to have several per year.

[scizotts]

"Goats and monkeys flying everywhere." Man's a Genius.

[ShaDHP23]

Duct tape fixes EVERYTHING!

[kayjo101]

Fire FUCK Ball

[dogstarserious]

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

[arcticbullets]

All of it is great/true comedy/information. But as for what made me laugh the hardest.

"Bah I don't..fuck." xDD

[denjski]

When I was in elementary school in the late 50's early 60's, I went through those drills, under the desk, duck and cover....one time there was even a county wide air raid drill sirens and everything...............by the time I got to junior high, for the nuclear bomb drill we were told to stand in  the hallway in front of our lockers. by that time we had we had decided that the reason why we were told to stand in front of the locker it would be easier to ID our bodies

[AtanasovPetar]

George Carlin and Lewis Black best stand up comedians.

[quidnick]

Go out into the playground TO MELT!!!!

[TheMitchConnor]

close enough fuckers!

[ProductionsThatFSU]

a nuclear fuck holocaust

[arcticbullets]

Seemed to me he tried to stop himself from laughing at the air raid drill segment. Which made it even funnier for me.

[leanonme1]

i stoped laughing when i realized hes right...

[TheMitchConnor]

@leanonme1 thats why we've gotta laugh, the truth is fucking ALARMING

[TomFynn]

14 people were inspired by their high-school principal.

[mykuh14]

when the all clear sounded..i could go out into the playground...and MELT!! ll

[HeartOfInsanity]

fella*

[HeartOfInsanity]

look at my penise and say, "goodbye old friend"

[BigStuDogg]

nuclear fuck holocaust 

[MLGJuggernautgaming]

Lewis black and his long fingers

[Evan42881]

3:25 I know somethings building up, then i just shit my pants.

[Teutonic1250]

chemical fuck attack.

[JRRDPR]

AS A FOREIGNER IT IS VERY REFRESHING TO HEAR AMERICAN COMEDIANS.I WAS LIVING IN THE USA AROUND THE 9/11 ATTACKS AND I THOUGHT THE COLOUR CODE WAS WHAT YOU SHOULD WEAR THAT DAY.TRUTH!!!:-)))

[euphonial]

@JRRDPR Lewis used that line one time.

[JRRDPR]

@euphonial I know.that's why I said I thought that too at the time of the attacks and I thought I was alone.:-)))

[euphonial]

@JRRDPR :-) Now I get it!

[Fortstorm]

See? Duct tape fixes everything.

[AstraVex]

13 people need to hide under their desk!

[THESCARECROWMD]

When the all clear sounded...I can get up & go to the playground & MELT!

[THESCARECROWMD]

Our goverment told us that we protetch ourself...From chemical FUCK attack...With duck tape.

[toxxicweed]

Yo.

[Sword1479]

A nuclear fuck holocaust.

[faeriedragoness]

Kuku1123 that is one of my favorite lines by him

[alpha18412]

The saddest statement ever: "Our government told us.....".

[hotgreg]

SON OF A BITCH ! ! lol...i love this shit ! !

[jackdaapp125]

UNBEFUCKINLIEVABLE!

[zeikowing66]

Reason we went to war? Are you shitting me? lol apparently he has no pride in being an american... did you happen to remember a freakin air plane kicken the crap out of our twin towers? seems like a pretty big slap in the face of the soldiers that went to war and died to save ppl who dont give a crap like him...

[cstancarone]

@zeikowing66

Hey if I punch you in the mouth, you killing someone unrelated to the incident doesn't really accomplish too much. The Saudis attack the US and we destroy Iraq. You don't find anything wrong with that?

[Backhymen]

@zeikowing66 Yeah, it was worth it man. I mean, yeah the war only destroyed the reputation of the US to the rest of the world. Threw us into crippling debt. Had us lose thousands of soldiers and middle eastern civilians.

[Stoner075]

You don't seem to need somebody shitting you, you're doing fine solo, my dear.

[surredneck66]

unbe-fucking-levibel !!!!!

[35057]

Favorite angry comic.. *Thumb*

[FOXHOUND084920]

Out of randomness, I turned on the closed caption option with the Transcribe Audio function on, and I lol'd!

[matthewjamal]

i hate when the camera pans to two people looking at each other and laughing. it's really corny lmao

[meisterfellfrosch]

that's actually not funny at all. this is fucking serious and nobody cares :/

at least they had a laugh.

[shootthis123]

@meisterfellfrosch It is serious, but one has to be able to laugh at even the serious stuff(in the right context, like a comedian for instance) otherwise, we're all fucked.

[therealdesertfox]

@shootthis123 if you don't laugh , you will and up crying when you think about it lol

[MrJohnWestwood]

The first time I seen this video, I almost pissed myself I was laughing so hard.

[x3xZ33Kx3x]

im hiding under kindling wood....wtf!

[beanbagman0039]

12 people were inspired by their high school principals

[hypercanadian]

a NUCLEAR FUCK HOLOCAUST

[pivotman999]

Try to count to 10 without him saying fuck, fucking impossi fucking ble

[arcticbullets]

@pivotman999 0:12-1:32 lol, yes I had some free time and took up your challenge.

[pivotman999]

@arcticbullets haha

[p3ngu1n48]

@pivotman999 I got to 17 seconds

[scizotts]

@pivotman999 Are you fucking sure?

[IGetSikWitItX]

@pivotman999 0:10 - 1:31 no fucks in that time period

[IGetSikWitItX]

@IGetSikWitItX Sorry 0:12 - 1:31

[Evi1M4chine]

Actually, under the desk, you *are* out of the blast zone better than you may think. And a nuclear bomb only causes fire in the core zone. Everything outside just gets lots of radiation. And everything between you and that is a good idea. As can be seen by looking at what is how radioactive in Nagasaki and Chernobyl. (People where there and checked.)

[CSRosewood]

@Evi1M4chine thank you mister science. maybe someone should remind you of the formula of comedy...

[Fortstorm]

@CSRosewood You mean tragedy plus time?

[mdsatan]

@Evi1M4chine don't think a table is gonna protect from radiation, its all molecules that essentially goes trough every thing

[jursle]

@mdsatan Radiation, not molecules.... But yeah, you don't survive a nuke, unless you're in a bombshelter lined with giant lead plates.

[mdsatan]

@jursle I once learned how Radiation works, got something to do with really small particles I think. Either way it doesnt bounce off wood. A bombshelter is no good either, you'd have to sit in there for millenia untill its safe to open the door. Millenia of inbreeding will mess your genes up, if food and air and such last.

[jursle]

@mdsatan Radiation is basically light, but at a frequency we can't see, and that will kill us. It's sort of like if you sit in the sun too long, you burn.... except with an A-bomb, the frequency is far higher, and will kill you almost instantly. Wether light consists of particles or not is still an issue... at least, it was last time I checked.

And yes, you would have to remain inside such a shelter for quite a while, but not millenia. More like 20-30 years. And nuclear shelters are built for it

[ultrashortbus]

@jursle Interesting. Is it true that some foods we eat have radiation in them, but not enough to harm us?

[jursle]

@ultrashortbus Yes. Radiation, or radioactivity, occurs in every single material on earth, but in some, it is a lot more dangerous than others. It's basically when an atom falls apart, which happens randomly, it releases energy in the form of radiation. Most of this radiation is harmless, but a specific type is dangerous, and occurs when heavier elements fall apart. A-bombs are nothing more than a machine forcing atoms to fall apart rapidly, creating the explosion and the radiation.

[MrY0ufail]

@jursle The atom bomb more specifically converts hydrogen into helium through fusion. The result is pretty devastating and the radiation is a by-product of such a reaction.

[87mathal]

fire FUCK ball - 1

wood bench - 0

[rlltoq]

and i could go out to the playground....AND MELT!

[FALCONPUNCH007]

10 people were inspired by their high school principal.

[TheatersOfTheMind]

"That George Bush is a great leader"...

Where do you find that drug? ~Church!

[merksperk2]

George Bush and 9 other Republicans disliked this.

[christinexslipknot]

1:37 "They pull shit, then they go 'Well I don't fuck." I diedddd. XD

[jasonlammons]

"dos & monkeys flying everywhere" lololol bwwwahahh almost snotted out some liquid refreshment!!

[Godknown]

i love that laughing in the background starting at 4:38. lmao.

[SkeletalGuitarGal]

@Godknown i kept laughing at that because it was only that one person that was laughing XD

[AustinCarlileLover]

Keep playing it at 3:54 

[Kuku1123]

Im not really a comic Im a magician. Watch me make this rabbit disappear and then i just rip the fur off of it. CLOSE ENOUGH FUCKERS!!!! LMFAO

[eqsmooth]

@Kuku1123

If I wanted to see or hear that whole joke again I would move my cursor backwards! I don't need Cuckoo to repeat the bit! write something original or get the fuck off youtube. Or at least copy the joke and then write an observational comment. Fuckin' Jeezus Christ.

[Kuku1123]

@eqsmooth Get a life :\

[tseuc]

i love how he says 'fuck' instead of 'fucking'

trademark

[No1snYpeslikme]

@tseuc Lmao I know "We can protect ourselves from a chemical fuck attack using duct tape"

[tconst1]

"Close enough, fuckers!" ,, priceless

[privateryan18]

fire FUCK ball....

[southsydney]

rofl at that one guy chuckling during his tirade. he's a legend

[chaset51]

They said i could protect myself...from a FIRE FUCK BALL...by hiding...under wood. LMFAO!!

[aristotled1]

ak...i agree...lewis black says "fuck the muslims! all of us in america say fuck the fucking muslims! look at france, germany, and brittan....fuck the fucking dumb shit muslims! shoot them all...let god send them to fucking hell! LOL! god and i love black...we all get along. mooslims don't fit in, never have, never will...they are all children of the bastard piece of swine shit ishmal, or whatever his dumbass name was...subhumans! they deserve to be slaves to us! they are fucking pigs! LOL!

[CoolerKing37]

@aristotled1 Muslims? What are you talking about? What does that even have to do with this video?

[Kdubslugga]

His "SON OF A BITCH" is priceless!!

[Kdubslugga]

Welllll I dont...Fuck!

[lowlowvideo]

"If you were inspired by George Bush or Bill Clinton, you were probably inspired by your High School Principle".... awesome!

[BlazieTiger]

I loved when he got so angry he actually jumped. lol. "FIRE-FUCK-BALL"'

[Anubis4815162342]

If Bush & clinton never took responsibility and that makes lewis angery, he must be royally pissed at Obama lol.

[SolarAB]

i need a picture of a camel.. WITH A NUCLEAR WEAPON ON ITS BACK hahahahahaha hes a fuckin genius :D

[maybetuesday1790]

I have no attachment to George W. Bush, but if people who like GW Bush are delusional, then wtf do you call the people who think Obama's the "oh great one"?

[ginger4bailey]

ak47747 You are so correct. I figure it is because they can't find anyone to listen to them so they do it here.

Anyway, Lewis Black is so funny. This is one of his funniest bits. The one about the two Starbucks across from each other is hilarious.

[Dimaggio88]

535 people are awsome..6 are fags

[nroscipnk]

"watch me make this rabbit disappear, and then I just rip the fur off of it CLOSE ENOUGH FUCKERS"...most amazing thing ever

[pjfwm]

This guy is my hero...nobody does angry like Lewis Black!

[rockstarman700]

133,700 views. :D Win.

[Poxik26]

I remember when the orders came out to duct tape doors during a biochemical attack. I just felt bad for the E-1 kid they'd be sending to die while he's trying franticly to seal up all the little cracks. Sounds like a scene from Saw to me.

[LightShadow11]

@Poxik26 i completely agree

[MrSimned]

@TracyAndersonFoxhunt your the type he is talking about. Whats the name of that drug......

[TracyAndersonFoxhunt]

@MrSimned the drug is called MrSimned is a fuckup

[MrSimned]

@TracyAndersonFoxhunt Are you having a bad life Black is only a comedian like your last president and you come back all aggressive....

[TracyAndersonFoxhunt]

@MrSimned are you having a bad time accepting what you see in the mirror? my sympathies

[jaronious1]

hahahaha i love when he randomly says fuck. a chemical fuck attack!

[KamuiJr]

I thought clinton balanced the budget I must be fucked up in the head if I didn't know he sucked. Bush well he's just retarded.

[ironredneck123]

unbefuckinlievable!



[Colbio]

@ironredneck123 infuckincredible! absofuckinglutlely!

[tchago]

"... AND MELT!!!!!"

HAHA! Love it!!

[skyalmond]

4:46-5:20

RAGE MODE ACTIVE! XD

[BetaStationX]

i can't believe such a generalist comment about as witty and intelligent as a rock got 64 thumbs up...these are great times we live in

[stratty23]

A Fire-Fuck ball!!

[ProfessorCWI]

when i was nine we used to have a "high wind drill" and we were supposed to go into the hallway and stand in between two brick walls.

[superanoyingsayin]

from a fire fuck ball. by hiding under wood.

[c3section]

"The best way to commit suicide is to take responsibility."

-My Father

[stoti8]

this country is full of lies and false promises and the funny thing is that people forget they get screwed by government after 5 years pass... people just forget of what happen, so everything just goes back to normal and people like me who questions things are like WTF on things the government really fucked up

[positivesecret]

back then you could talk bad about your president. i miss freedom

[Zardas11]

4:50 - 5:17

made me laugh so hard i cried.

i couldn't even fathom the idea that someone didn't think that was funny.

[EddieBrock44]

@Zardas11 Oh your damn right Zardas, my eyes are beat red and my stomach was in so much pain I laughed so hard!

[Janovjev]

"Fail at a massive amount of level" well said xD

[dropkicksmurfy2]

well! my high school principal, just happens to be a very inspirational guy!

[ParanoidToaster]

Chemical fuck attack???? Sounds kinky. :( And with DUCT TAPE, no less.

[TheThordir]

I swear that som,etimes I am afraid that he will suffer a stroke o_0

[thesnake801]

unbe fucking levible

[IanTenderholt]

This man is seriously not even a little funny. Apparently complaining like Ann Coulter and throwing in f bombs makes you hilarious?

[Ncstfan10]

@IanTenderholt you just dont have a sense of humor

[runtripfall54]

Cocaine mixed with heroin and a side of LSD, and a bit of caffeine for good measure.

[SweetestMalefacia]

I swear on my life, I wrote in Ron Paul and Lewis Black on the last ballot!

[yianki1020]

...one of my favorites. this guys awesome lol

[Z0hann]

...and we'd just become friends.

[d1g2r3m4l5n6]

I just love watching him get angry lol

[paolo27th]

It`s true, I never understood why the US didn`t just secretly ship a few nukes there and then pretend they just found them? Really, WHY did they stop lying?

[happi123ful]

the adults said i could hide from a fire fuck ball by hiding under wood

[jedwards0820]

When the all clear sounded, I could get up, go to the playground.... AND MELT!

hahahahahahahahaha

[ak47747]

Why is it that whenever I try to go laugh at a comedian some idiots are arguing about shit that has nothing to do with the fucking video! Religion what you choose to believe in. America was founded on freedom of speech and religion. So shut the hell up, respect other people, and laugh at lewis black. Its why you found the video in the first place.

[aristotled1]

@ak47747 oh man i agree. America was founded on freedom of speech and religion for sure...read the constitutuion . we can say what we want against the stupid religious assholes and the faggots and the damn mooslims, and the dumb ass shit for brains nigger in the whitehouse....yeah it be so sweet.... we don't have to agree, we just have THE RIGHT . it is so sweet. you wanna take my rights away? JUST TRY IT. You loose!

[phoenix02200]

@aristotled1 dude just chill and watch the video XD

[theXdarkXtreeXburns]

@ak47747

that's why i read the replies after i watch the video.

[metalictempest]

@ak47747  Seriously

[ourben]

@ak47747 Yeah cool story bro. But that isn't what America was founded on.

[rsmanx08]

@ourben ?? did you drop out of high school or not make it yet?

[ourben]

@rsmanx08 America was founded on freedom of speech and religion? Really? Read that sentence back to yourself.

[rsmanx08]

@ourben ? the king of england would not let them worship how they wanted. couldnt go against the king. couldnt do anything. the english, founders of america, came to america for what we enjoy in our first amendment. the reason you can be another E-idiot.

[ourben]

@rsmanx08 Sorry, I didn't realise you were a moron. Are you sure you want to lock in "America (not the USA) was founded on [freedom of speech] and (plus) [religion]"?