Monkey Dust: Ebola Army Doctors

[jamesaellis]

Meanwhile at Unit 731...

[thedirtydeltas]

F#$%^&*K ADS!!!!!

[MrRoryTV]

fuck

[ImEuanAndIGotsSkeelz]

ahah yeah theres plenty guys like that in the army :P monkey dusts stereotypes can be pretty on the mark.

[Aquasharkyboy]

What I love most about this sketch is that after Private Beasly's saluting arm falls off, he picks it up with his remaining arm and uses it to continue saluting!

[MeneerTiki]

ah, scientists.



[lokalllize]

sad thing is this is probably what happened to some of the soldiers

[rochemotive]

that was too gruesome for my liking.

[TheXand19]

@rochemotive Pansy.

[tonmaster2]

where do you find the whole of 'monkey dust' for free?!!!

[sammolfly]

@tonmaster2

tvlinks.eu all 3 seasons are free and available to stream

[tonmaster2]

@sammolfly thanks,

[mrfatass49]

It's funny the doctors are aliens rofl!!

[Atvishees]

Well, that actually is Beasly's own fault. He was warned multiple times:

- Kings Royal 'Volunteers'

-Queen send her regards... and her condolences to his family

-They're actually telling him, that they will pump out all air, and fill it with aggressive Ebola virus

-"It's just the hanging-around that kills me." ">>We'll see about that, Beasly.<<"

-They have a rigged counting machine standing around

-He will "not be forgotten". He will ultimately be remembered as a number (one between 34 and 41)

[MrRazzeldazzel88]

@Atvishees read the charge of the light bregade

[Atvishees]

@MrRazzeldazzel88 Indeed.

[BabylonWhore666]

heh..reminds me of the Scientist chatter int he original Half Life...

[matt301273]

God I miss Monkey Dust

[black1swan2green3]

this frightens the shit outta me

[Samnutter3212]

God, this is such a dark British comedy...it's brilliant.

[Valkyriepure]

Reminds me of the GlaxoSmithKline like 'wonder companies' and the billions of pounds of tax payers money spent on useless shit like 'swine flu vaccines'. Nice to know the fuckers are keeping us safe though.

[jaidaphire]

Is it wrong to masturbate to this?

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy Thank you for your input. Now let me put it in you.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire I am shocked and appalled sir. Your ability to type filth has left me speechless and I shall leave immediately. Well done.

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy Methinks thou dost protest too much. Admit it: You fucking love it, you prissy Brit.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire That's where you're from! Haha, so you are an Americunt.. Admit it, America likes nothing more than being dominated by Mexicans and Israelis.

Silly American, posting on my profile page without explaining why and trying to vent his blistering anger via incomprehensible rantings. ;P

P.S. I gave you a thumbs up for trying, but I'll expect something better in future. Try and inject more 'pizzazz' into you comments, it really makes the person on the other end feel special. Ciao!

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy All you're doing is very ineptly copying my own shtick. This is really just another manifestation of your inherent need to subordinate yourself to a stronger personality and attempt to please your master. By the way, I AM Mexican, you dim pasty-faced cunt. And I like dominating America just fine, thanks.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire Please calm down and stop shouting. I know you're angry about Mexico's power over America's borders, but there's no need to promote racism. Eventually Mexico will dominate America and you will subordinate yourself to a stronger species and attempt to please your masters. By the way, I AM Mexican, you dim pasty-faced cunt. And I like dominating America just fine, thanks.

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I suppose I should consider myself flattered. But it shows a weak mind on your part if you cannot find a voice & style of your own--a weak mind that wants painful correction to enforce compliance...like the kind that Nanny Pyecraft used to administer during your difficult toilet training. You miss her cruel leather strap, don't you, you filthy little beast?

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire Is this a part of your standup routine that needs reviewing, or can I go now? I see you're a one trick pony who must've really been offended somewhere along the line.. Ciao bambino! I have to go and enjoy being free from those Mexicans you hate so much.

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy I see you've blocked me and deleted my last comment. Looks like I struck a little too close to home for your comfort. It's okay, Clive. I realize you're still struggling to accept your condition. One day you (and the rest of your compatriots) will be able to come to terms with your deep-seated need to be sexually humiliated & dominated. And when you do, I'll be there for you, lash in hand. Love & kisses, Gerhard.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire Thanks for appreciating my problems David. It's all too much for me. This morning I was but a young boy, fresh faced and up for a laugh. And then you, a self-professed child murderer and racist (specifically against Mexicans) showed me the light through the power of rage.

Remember Richard, if you ever get tired of abusing your sister using a 28" metal dildo, or grow weary of sampling the delights of Mexican cock, you can always call me. I've unblocked you so we can share the love. ;)

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire P.S. You are still a silly cunt who can't take any form of come back without tearing up with rage. Ciao! :)

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy Pure projection on your part, my dear Clive. I'm merely trying to help you accept yourself for the abuse-loving submissive Englishman you are. As long as you keep your need for self-abasement bottled up, you'll never be truly free. As-Salāmu `Alaykum, brother!

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire A Muslim? This explains much but also leaves me depressed, as I know my life will be disproportionately more enjoyable than your's..

P.S. In good 'ol Blighty it's 0:30am so I'd better be off to beddy-boes or my harsh mistress/mother will paddle me into submission and then ball gag my anus. Have fun my lovely friend! *mwah* :o

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy Once again, you want us to think you're being ironic, but you really aren't. Your pseudo-facetious quasi-confessional mode is quite common among those who are still half in the closet. Eventually you'll feel strong enough to remove the "quotation marks" from your confession and tell the world, simply and honestly, that you are the gimp slave of a cruel German businessman and you fucking love it.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire Actually I lied on my profile.. This is getting depressing, and the more I entertain this game, the more angry and rabid Jaidaphire becomes. I realized he was a one trick pony by his second reply, but after 8 it's just.. Boy, aren't some people fucked up?

I will pray for you David. Seeya! ;)

P.S. If you reply, that means you are silly LOLOLOLOLOL I TROL U :D

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy Actually, your whole life is a lie, which you are slowly & painfully beginning to realize. You tried hard, really hard, to live a normal life with normal desires, but you know in your heart of hearts that you will never be "like the others". You WILL, however, be just like all other Englishmen. And yes, some people certainly are fucked up. Why don't you tell us how you became one of them, Clive? We all know your story, but it's funny to hear you tell it.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire HAHA! You really are quite angry aren't you Jaid? Following me around YouTube and trying to get the better of me is just a little.. Lame as shit? :P

Just to confirm, I've yet to read any of your comments but I can tell (just by the smell of them and the first words) that they're filled with tears of rage. Why are you so angry Jaid? I mean, did I one up you so badly?! :P

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy I am merely the instrument of your own self-loathing, Clive. If you wish me play at rage, I can accommodate you. Was headmaster in a towering rage when he flogged you for a faulty Latin conjugation? Was Nanny Pyecraft seething with anger when she disciplined you for wetting yourself? Can you not get into it otherwise? And finally, what is it with you and sheep? Inquiring minds want to know.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire Woop woop! Angry stalker fights back tears while hunting his enemy. While I may not dignify you by reading your comments, you should know that I'll always have respect for you Jaid. We're two birds of a stone.. I think I just fucked that phrase up. :P

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy Yes, Clive, you fucked that phrase up...just like you fuck everything up. It's to be expected. But you know what happens when you fuck up, don't you, Clive? You taste the lash of harsh correction. Which is one of the reasons why you continually fuck up: you want to be punished for it.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire lol, yeah I heard about that too. I can't believe Ken Livingstone was planning to build a tram line in London. What a silly idea!

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy Not nearly as silly as your idea that sheep are an adequate substitute for young women.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire At first I was "Ken, wtf are thinking". Needless to say I was very angry at his proposals, but then everyone else was like "Ken, wtf are you thinking", so I kinda figured the whole 'tram line' thing wasn't going to go ahead. I mean, a tram?! IN LONDON?!?!?! BWAHAHA! Yeah, I'm glad we have bojo as mayor now.

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy The only tram line they'll be building is the one to that public toilet stall you like to hang out in...to handle all the perv traffic, you dirty little cottager.

[sheepeasy]

@jaidaphire Anyway, back to my David Blaine related story. David Blaine was once doing a REALLY dangerous stunt (lolz), then he accidently a coca cola bottle. I lol'd.

[jaidaphire]

@sheepeasy And you want to repeat his experiment with the coca cola bottle in your rectum? Would you be doing this while you're in a sheep? Has it come to that now, Clive?

[Oxstayne]

Yoda I am.

[shinra18]

Love the voices.

[thefrecklepuny]

Great sketch, just as all Monkey Dust ones are. The sad thing is the way the poor sod still attempts to sing God Save the Queen even though he's rapidly disintegrating!

[charlessmyth]

An example of the unshakable belief in the covenant between the state and the soldiery :-)

[Humanophage]

I am, unfortunately, not interested in medicine or chemistry, but I've always found the image of the scientist doing vicious experiments on less than intelligent humans charming.

[jayoori1]

As a scientist I would say you are sick and twisted.

[MultiJobu]

Sick and twisted in a good way.

[jayoori1]

What precisely do you mean by "in a good way"?

[MultiJobu]

Sick and twisted in a really good dark british humour kind of way :-)

There is something to laugh about in almost any situation.

The question is if the person has a dark sense of humour or not.

Humour is like alcohol: some people like beer, some like vodka and some don't drink at all.

[Oxstayne]

Agreed.

[MeneerTiki]

This was Bill Nye the Science guy graduating project.

[JONNOG88]

Not wanting to sound pretensious but this sketch always reminds me of that Sartre quote.

"When the Rich make war its the poor that die"

Loved Monkey Dust.

So sad its no longer on tv.

[matadeira1]

ebola porridge :D

[thefrecklepuny]

I wonder how much of that shilling the govt will try to claim back???

[britboyal]

a satire of the way the government treats its honest soldiers?

if so it seems fairly representative to me

[salv809]

i dont get it haha

[ZzzannizzZ]

i still think its part of a trend. top stuff.

[nickjlt]

"Is that like ebola porridge Sir?" Hahaha XD

[zatoichi12345]

there was a director's commentary on the dvd of the first series and they said that was technically the only proper joke in the whole series.still fantastic,greatest comedy ever made.

[Autonova]

probably the bleakest thing ever

[UncleKennybobs]

Dammit, I was eating.

[lkjoiunhgy]

BRILLIANT JUST BRILLIANT

Read "THE HOT ZONE", by RICHARD PRESTON

[ambergambler]

Monkey Dust was great, maybe even funnier than Modern Toss(any plans to release series 2 and 3 of Monkey Dust on DVD?).