Oklahoma Doctors Can Now Legally Pretend To Give Abortions

[Shiva4815162342]

"Man actually gets job through LinkedIn" LOL

[TheSolitaryTraveller]

Sad thing is this is not far from the truth.

[MrYobitchez]

"2-3% of the women actually come back and thank the doctor for what they did" :DDD

[Bigevilfishy]

@SobingDeath What do you call it (a peice of human tissue that has all the makings of a child)Is a tiny pencil any less a pencil? And you say nothing is 100%. That is a selfrefuting statement jackass. Ignore my commentt

[smoothnews]

@Bigevilfishy Would you look an acorn at call it a tree? No. The acorn needs to be planted AND develop (e.g. sprout from the ground) before it is called a tree. :) I am open to any refutations.

[th3patsfan83]

@smoothnews but purposely harming that acorn to keep it from ever becoming a tree is wrong

[smoothnews]

@th3patsfan83 Good point.

[JustinHampel]

@th3patsfan83 What if the acorn is killing the tree, or is destined to become a functionally disabled tree? What if the tree was raped, or her birth control failed? What if she doesn't want to bring an acorn into this harsh world? What if she's simply not ready to raise it?

The acorn wants for nothing, yet the tree is already grown and has an established life with its own wants and needs. Should those be ignored in favor of one blindly accepted and oversimplified maxim?

[th3patsfan83]

@JustinHampel In the case of the acorn killing the tree I can see where exceptions can be made. But killing the acorn because it might not grow up to be a normal tree like the others? Why dont we just kill gay acorns, black acorns, and all other inferior acorns as well.

Yeah yeah I know its such a harsh word for all the trees out there but if the tree isnt ready to produce an acorn then it should keep its branches closed....or whatever.

[JustinHampel]

@th3patsfan83 I was talking about being functionally disabled, not just being abnormal. Down's Syndrome and Cystic Fibrosis and stuff like that.

Also, of course people should exercise safe sex practices. However, when those practices fail, we shouldn't simply force a woman to give up twenty years of her life simply because she dared to have sexual intercourse. Women have a right to choose what happens to their own bodies.

[moearly]

@smoothnews Not the same thing. This is an imperfect analogy. Answer me this: At what point does one become a "person"? A baby can recognize it's mother's voice and it's native language when it's born. So, was the fetus learning even though he or she wasn't a person yet?

[moearly]

@smoothnews Also, I think the analogy is unfit for the discussion. Plants reproduce in a completely different way from animals (human included). Plants are not male or female. They have seeds that need to be fertilized, yes, but the physiology of the whole thing is completely different for plants compared with for animals. For plants, fertilization is only the first step necessary before growth can begin; the second is watering. Therefore, a seed can stay a seed for a long (cont.)

[moearly]

@smoothnews A fertilized seed can change a bit but stay simply a fertilized seed a long time before growth begins. That's why human language needs words like "acorn" to distinguish an acorn from a tree. In animals, reproduction occurs differently. Fertilization occurs when sperm meets egg, and growth and development begin immediately afterwards because the young organism is already in a favorable environment for growth and development. (cont.)

[moearly]

@smoothnews I think a species that would provide a more fitting analogy for use in this discussion would be the kangaroo whose females birth their young while still immature (at 31-36 days' gestation).  The new joey uses its tiny forearms to climb up to the mother's pouch where it continues its growth and development.

[SobingDeath]

@fireflyeclipse first off stop calling it a child....second nothing is 100% so when that fails why should others govern their lives

[ArtypNk]

I wish I was a number 1 cause for Brookes abortions.

[SobingDeath]

@SobingDeath egg*

[SobingDeath]

haha sadly the other 97-98 percent arnt able to afford a child and are now homeless and destitude ruining familys all across the country but as long as a edd might one day be a child we should treat it like a person with full rights disregarding health and safty of the mother and her situation

[fireflyeclipse]

@SobingDeath But what about the child? I mean that 97-98 percent can afford an abortion but can't afford condoms or birth control pills?

[daveforfun22]

lol I love the 2-3% bit at the end shows how the media takes statistics and please whatever emphasis they want on it and usually people jump at this without even thinking.

[ZuluCatsTheMispeller]

"Historians admit they made the ottoman empire up" lol

[shotboy16]

Nice... that means the will go home...start smoking meth and drinking again....And then the baby will come out retarded.

[lukeiamyourfaja]

Another alternative: Stop letting stupid people breed.

[Stormwern]

This could easilly have been real.

[CrestalMyth]

Damn Onion getting on my front page, misleading me.

[Moneymanbreezy]

01:08 "Abdominal swelling is normal." **Leg in the air LMAO**

[DaGavinX]

"Historians admit they made up the Ottoman empire" HA! Priceless.

[TheYouwontgetit]

that's a wonderfull law... ...they should all just pretend to give abortions...

[danish211]

The American way would be to bleed would be abortion seekers white financially and squeeze every last dollar possible from them so that the good capitalist who run the clinics can profit. and the clients would whore around less knowing that the system would pick up the tab for their poor choices. Capitalism for the win exploit the stupid for every penny.

[x0acake]

@danish211 First of all, this video is satire. Second of all (regarding abortions), your profile says you live in Australia. As far as I know, Medicare and concessions don't cover any of the costs for abortion in AU, and the costs for one are around the same for both countries ($400-$1000, avg $500). So a supposed low/high cost sure as hell isn't a factor for repeat abortions in this case.

[dollruth]

birth control for men and women . doctor should'nt lie its dangerous.

[celestina742]

24/7 ONN NEWS NETWORK NOWWWW!!!

[solisvictor1991]

I think abortions are natural selection at its finest lol

[cakelover33]

@solisvictor1991 Yes because natural selection is working so good right now.

[solisvictor1991]

@cakelover33 Im not sure what you mean but its kind of "stupid people dont need to ave kids" mentality i had i may be wrong for saying that :P

[cakelover33]

@solisvictor1991 What i mean is natural selection is not working because stupid weak skinny ass and fatsos are everywhere.

[BaboonJihad]

@cakelover33 Newsflash, we don't live in a fucking natural environment. We live in a fucking zoo. We're goddamn caged animals being bred for other's amusement like the show dogs you see. None of those fucking mutants look natural do they? Theres no natural selection going on because theres no nature taking its couse.

[cakelover33]

@BaboonJihad dam straight

[b0010100b]

@BaboonJihad

Dang.

I'm watching ONN for laughs didn't expect to hear anything so real...

[BaboonJihad]

@b0010100b I was a little angry that day, but I do often feel that way yeah.

[thakillakrop]

84 people don't know this is F@K3.

[daryrehm]

these people should be ashemd of them sleves

[PowerFromAbove]

@daryrehm It's spelled "sleeves" and I for one think they're dressed very classy.

[elr456]

1:43

"Man actually gets job through LinkedIn" HAHA

[Icy6222]

they actually have a point kinda lol

[plmukzx]

2 to 3 percent :D

[kangaimRoo]

Lol, to too three present of the women.

[peterfaj]

@kangaimRoo What are you? Google's Transcribe Audio?

[kangaimRoo]

@peterfaj No. I'm captain obvious!

[XoXoSakuraKissXoXo]

I love abortions. I get them every month! It's very fun, almost like a sport.

[cakelover33]

@XoXoSakuraKissXoXo prob cuz of all that poppy music shit u prob listen to

[XoXoSakuraKissXoXo]

@cakelover33 lolwut

[nimmma]

The ONN shouldn’t give Oklahoma legislators any ideas!

[BanjoThreeies]

Brilliant! Everyone wins... as long as theyre Pro Life.

[WaluigisTacoStand]

@Gagerx More like, real life news is becoming The Onion news.

[PhantomimineHorse]

The onion is damn funny, so much of it is based on The Day Today. Keeping Morris' work alive guys :)

[Inediblehulk]

I called bullshit on the Ottoman Empire years ago. Good to see the pranksters confessing.

[okonh0wp]

isn't duncan birch on some tv commercial?

[SpiritFanNumber1]

Come on guiz. Abortion should be illegal. We need more children to glorify our Lord Jesus! We can't deny that baby life, so therefore we should get rid of birth control, because you heartless people are denying thousands of lives. And women shouldn't be allowed to make their own decision if they want a child or not. LOL, women.

[bookercreator]

@SpiritFanNumber1 don't say our... your only 33% of the world. Remember that.

[TonPappa]

@bookercreator hes using sarcasm. 

[TheJuuchan]

@bookercreator congrats on making Christians look smarter.

btw it's "you're"...

[bookercreator]

@TheJuuchan Not in my country. Where are you from? America?

[TheJuuchan]

@bookercreator you're = you are

your= belonging to you.

regardless of country.

[rpadilla99ish]

@SpiritFanNumber1 LOL.

[booshow90]

Watxh my racist videos evrybdy

[juliagoolia72]

2 to 3% come back and thank the doctor! LOL

[136kayz]

WTF!!! i can fking see it now. " BUT BABY! i thought u got tht abortion!" " I DID! what the hell happened!"

[lightlampdog]

So, if someone gets hit by a car and slips into a coma, losing that brain activity that separated us from the animals, does that person instantly lose their right to life? Do retarded people, who aren't as intelligent, lose out on other rights which we the "intelligent" get to enjoy? Brain activity determines rights?

[leeharveyosmosis]

@lightlampdog

...sort of, haven't you ever heard of "pulling the plug on someone"?

[DrRockstarSpade]

how can they not laugh while doing this

[ajsaccount1991]

i love how the Onion disses both sides left and right

[Furicist]

@ajsaccount1991

Yep :)

Its a real shame there isnt a third party in the running though!

[toadfan64]

Ha, better than CNN

[macroorchidism]

why do videos show up again and again in my subscription list after I watch them? Shouldn't youtube have a "remove" button for videos in playlist?

[LordCorinth]

rescue workers search rubble for missing phone charger LOL

[ravenseldon]

how can they do all this with a straight face? :D

[MoreMedication]

@ravenseldon Because it's not funny.

[MoreMedication]

@MoreMedication To clarify, it's not the subject matter, it's that the Onion itself isn't funny anymore.

[Gblast3]

The Ottoman Empire was a lie.

[trueQ42]

...what kind of actors??

[emiynu]

restroom labor...hmmm reminds me of the show "I didn't know I was pregnant" Ha!

[CeasarDelRio]

Gay Thuggin fo Lyfe Ya'll!!

[DoctorWeeTodd]

BRING BACK CLIFFORD BANES!

[AaronDArnold]

All of the females in my area need to have abortions.We can't afford to pay for their kids.They can choose not to spread their legs for drugs.

[PivotB3stZ]

Unlike the thumbed up comment above, Oklahoma isn't a bunch of redneck retards who are inbred and misinformed. I've lived in Oklahoma all my life and there's plenty of intelligent people here and even more so than other states I've travelled to. My brother being a U.S. Marine stationed in California actually said he'd much rather live in Oklahoma than California.

Also, the Onion is fake.

[Buck2120]

@PivotB3stZ His comment is one hundred percent correct. All of Oklahoma is a shithole of unintelligent, moronic, Bible thumpers. I moved out of Oklahoma when I went to NYU for college and there is not one fucking thing I miss about that cesspool. Life is SOOO much better in the Northeast, with way better people and culture. Oklahoma is just a terrible excuse of a state and I'm ashamed to say I was to born there. Fucking pathetic SMH...

[SuperNenalove]

@PivotB3stZ yea i can tell your an idiot from oklahoma captain obviouse yes the onion is fake good analogy thumbs up on that on!! and if you rther like in oklahoma than california the there gotta be something missing a brain come on now!!

[cromartie800]

Abortion should be legal! Why should some one be responsible for actions they do? A reasonable person would not think something feeling as good as sex would result in a baby! You want a bunch of stuff from your parents, but you want to kill your child because they will stop you from going out and getting drunk/ having sex with strangers every night! What is life without that?

[theebobfather213]

the bible doesn't approve of lesbians or gays. unless you're catholic and they changed it to get people to go to their church.

[nightstash1]

My mom said she was going to have an abortion when I was a fetus. She has regretted her decision ever since.

[supermanXL]

@nightstash1 I feel for you

[billyTheKid31001]

How do you make your videos look so genuine and soo funny you are good at this... Keep it up! Could you do maybe a video about billy the kid or something

[MrDizzySpinda]

@MyNameIsCarruthers A double standard just like being gay. Even the bible approves of lesbians lol.

[jhtrico1850]

2 to 3 percent haha

[iNinjaBuddy]

73 people and counting should have been aborted.

[halflifeproductionz]

oh man its so professionally done. the onion makes fox news look like a childrens television show.

[AirborneMind]

"Two to three percent of the women actually come back to thank the doctor for what they did." - Too bad 98% of those women said that sarcastically.

[iTellyoueveryting]

Abortions... I'm writing a pretty song about abortions!

[btoreo19]

I LOVE ABORTIONS. Problem solved.

[Vaylemn]

This is what happens when religious retards run this USA. They strip our rights because they think they know better than us. A baby would not be born if it weren't for the parents, yet these parents don't have the right to know if the baby is defected. This is communism under religion. Our government is run by the American Talibans. Procreating a defected human should be a crime against humanity, both to the parent and baby, it is better to rid of the embryo before it gains human consciousness.

[Xbalanque84]

@Vaylemn You realize this is satire, right?

[cjracer1000]

@Vaylemn Go look up the definition of communism. I don't think you understand what it is.

[tysak4]

remember 2-3% of the women actually THANK the doctors for what they did

[jakeywakey27]

I am in oklahoma!

[satanicwatermelon]

Lol, I love how people pretend to care about the "lives of embryos and fetuses" but couldn't give less of a fuck about them after they're born.

[MrDizzySpinda]

@satanicwatermelon Irritating isn't it.

[manofallmen555]

i live in Oklahoma. And i am ashamed so much of my state. The fact is, this 'parody' really isn't that far off the truth. I live in a state with a bunch of misinformed, bible thumping, ignorant, raging, inbred dumb shits. And i plan to move out of this cesspool as soon as i graduate high school this year.

[ivanovsd]

hahaha 2 to 3 %

[intrepidorator]

@manofallmen555 I feel ashamed that you are an Oklahoman, I look forward to the day that you move away and our collective IQ jumps by 10 points.

[jonnywright1981]

@manofallmen555 why so you can have an abortion you filthy Oklahoma baby killer!! Why dont you just go to china and eat them too. Your fetus would probably catch good yen for the kilogram you fu*kin monster!!!!!! Why dont you just go to the nearest living newborn you can find and shove a hanger threw its heart. It is about the fuc*in same. You filthy Okla-homo whore;)

[CelticWarrior1992]

@jonnywright1981 Trollololololol...although if you're not trolling, maybe you should look up the terms "gray area" and "women's rights." But I'm pretty sure you're trolling. Yes? No?

[kninja41]

@jonnywright1981 < It's stupidity is OVER 9,000 !!!!!!

[totallynotactuallyme]

@jonnywright1981 bwahahaha. I guess that's what you call "having your baby and eating it too" haha

[SageofHistory]

@jonnywright1981 Japanese currency is the yen Jethro.

[MisterMortombachman]

@manofallmen555 You sure are wise for a high school student. Any state would be improved by your presence.

[bloodfoxtrue]

@manofallmen555

I notice some of the ppls yelling at you aren't exactly denying what you said... more power to you! instead of taking a hard look at themselves, they rather bash others cuz itss easier and instinctive (and its free)

[darthspeaks]

@manofallmen555 I see you want your sex cake and eat it too... kill that innocent baby because you like to sleep around...

[DONTMATTERWHATYOUR]

@darthspeaks exactly. I'd kill four babies just to get laid.

[darthspeaks]

@DONTMATTERWHATYOUR Sarcasm. It seems you really don't understand the gravity of your situation.

[DONTMATTERWHATYOUR]

@darthspeaks death to babies!!!

[blindthrall]

@darthspeaks At that stage, it's about as human as a tadpole. Do you know why they're legally allowed to perform abortions within the first three months? Because there's no brain activity. Superior brains are what separates us from animals, and if that brain isn't doing anything, I see no difference.

[TheChuchulainn]

@blindthrall FINALLY, someone applies logic to the issue of abortion. Fuck conservative christian fake moralisms. Thanks for your intelligent comment, unfortunately the troglodyte christians won't be able to comprehend it... or anything else containing logic.

[blindthrall]

@TheChuchulainn It's how my biology professor explained it, but he was more brief about it.

"Abortion may stop a beating heart, but it doesn't stop a thinking brain."

[cjracer1000]

@TheChuchulainn I find it funny that the same liberals that want gun control are also the same ones that think it's okay to kill babies.

[TheChuchulainn]

@cjracer1000 And I find it funny that idiots like you think babies are alive before their brains start working.

[tauwilltriumph]

@TheChuchulainn If a baby is 1 week before birth, do you still support abortion then?

[TheChuchulainn]

@tauwilltriumph No. That's basically killing a living breathing baby.

[PeterBZ]

@tauwilltriumph Lol are you dumb? You can't perform an abortion 1 week before birth. People usually get an abortion 3 -4 months into pregnancy

[tauwilltriumph]

@PeterBZ You can, actually. usually=/=always

[Mattm1986]

@PeterBZ

Most abortions happen within the first 6-7 weeks of pregnancy.

[CrimsonToast]

@darthspeaks Sex cake sounds delicious.

[XxxkenzaxxX]

@manofallmen555 Great incentive.

[Draconios1]

@manofallmen555 your from oklahoma too, dont bring that inbredness outside, its contagious

[ugstimmy]

I lived in Oklahoma for 3 years and i think they actually do this! haha. We came up with a theory: if you meet a girl in OK and she's over 18 she's either pregnant (or as as kid/abortion), married, divorced or all 3.

Gotta love the bible belt

[watzupdawg]

It is always going to be difficult to decide who gets an abortion and who doesnt. It is mostly illegal once the person is born and that seems to be the main problem.

[Brand0n15C001]

Why are comments still allowed on this video if everyone's just going to debate abortion?

[MrSaundersc]

And the worst trolls ever award goes too!! (drumroll) The Onion Viewers!!

Congratulations! You just won a big heaping bowl of SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!

[blackkakari]

Just wait. It is America, afterall.

[smitti9]

You are growing up in a country where having a baby before being married means getting stoned, do you abort your baby? Yes? Well, you just aborted Jesus. Good job.

[deadman300043]

Historians admit they made up the Ottoman Empire lmao cracked me up!  2:03

[w9j15g]

This video parodies AN ACTUAL LAW passed last April in Oklahoma that prevents doctors from being sued if they withhold information from a pregnant woman that the fetus has birth defects. Doctors may choose to withhold this information out of fear that the woman might have an abortion.

[sensoriussupremus]

@w9j15g Thank you

[punaniswabber]

@w9j15g those laws concern two different things, but they do have the same principals

[ThePsychoticScyth396]

@w9j15g and thats what we sane human being call WRONG!

[fromTheHMCstudio]

@w9j15g THATS HORRIBLE!

[5mitch08]

I am just glad to see Duncan again. I missed him and the others from In the Know. They should make new episodes for it.

[brian1tiraei]

ok i have watched a couple of their news stories is this real news? or is this like fake its hard to believe americans r this stupid

[bluetrilobite]

@brian1tirae

the bill is actually true but the news is a parody about the very real Oklahoma bill.

[w9j15g]

@brian1tiraei Smart Americans don't have to ask if this is real news. They know that it is.

[matchu4444]

@brian1tiraei What news is real?

[Cyclonexman]

@brian1tiraei anything from theonion is 100% fake

[KingDodongo1]

"Historians admit they made up the Ottoman Empire" xD

[Ivan951]

Why has all The Onion videos been taken over by this one bitch.

[Verviness]

Lol I love how a debate has broken out over TheOnion news that isn't "IS THIS FO REAL?"

[SkillageFTW]

@0Batgirl0

You are now officially a troll. Well done, you sick fuck.

P.S. If you have an abortion, get one before it is a fetus so it hasn't even been considered an actual baby yet since it has not matured AT ALL. If someone wants to get an abortion, donate the stem cells from the embryo for research instead.

[smartaleck05]

@SkillageFTW Agreed.

[HEAVNLYDARKNESS]

what the heck i just had the longest ad in youtube history D:<

[nonsolumarmis]

2-3% thank the doctors

[MrHogslice]

Kill the babies! Kill them all! breed like flies! ha ha ha weee!