im very confused i dont understand what you mean by cope with the problems. if people rather feel pain then why doesnt every one harm them selves not trying to offend i just want answers..
@lawlfunkynick The general feeling with a lot of self harmers is that said problems have overwhelmed them to a point of feeling numb. Everyone has problems of course, but when problems become a mental health problem, its not just one or 2 you can shrug off, it becomes your everything and people need to find a way to cope.
TIP: ANYONE can self harm. Preps, emos, sluts, whores, nerds...I've seen it all. Everyone has issues but people self harm when they can't cope with something! That's why most people cut. Do some do it for attention? Of course! But people also wear shorts that show half their ass & alot of you don't complain about that. I am schizophrenic, bulimic, bipolar, and an ex cutter. I'm not an attention whore..I'm happy and confident.
I wrote a song about my friend that was cutting called Brea’s song. To see me perform it live copy or type (mason Bellamy Cedarville) in Youtube’s search window (I can’t post a link). THANKS!
~~PLEASE spread the word if you like it (Facebook, Twitter, ECT)! I want hurting kids to know their value and see it!~~ “YOU ARE A DIAMOND YOU’RE NO LONGER COAL”
And I'm happy to say that it's been 2 years, 7 months, and 17 days since my last suicide attempt.
I'm glad it's over and I'd be happy to be there for anyone going through the same thing. I hate to see people suffering alone with no one that understands that they can talk to. It's really sad seeing anyone like that.
Dude. I get all of this. 'Everyday is a struggle' is one of the things i always say when people asked me why I self harmed. it's been a year yet everyday still is a struggle. I admire you for taking back control, and I agree, fuck all the ignorant dicks. Self harmers are some of the strongest people. I'd like to see some of them take a blade to their own skin and see if they had the guts to do while feeling so depressed.
the people who say things like "your an attention seeking emo" are ignorant. Alot of time if your a self harmer you don't go around and say you do it. Most people i know try to keep it a secret & try to hide it ( like you said in the video). I think a lot of self harmers are misunderstood because there are younger people out there who think they will get attention if they do something bad, like hurtin themselves. It sucks, but i hope this video is an eye opener to many viewers :)
I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar, I haven't been diagnosed or anything because the fact is that I'm way too scared to tell anyone about this [I am a cutter] and I just wanted to ask if you're not too busy do you think I should tell my parents and just be open about this or should I keep it bottled up until I feel as if I can't take it anymore? Because I don't feel as bad as I previously did.. If you have time you can answer, if you do, thank you so much.
You give such a good description in this video i showed it to my boyfriend in the hope that he would understand. Instead he just laughed and even said, when u said "self harmers are probably some of the strongest people u will meet", he just laughed again and said yeah right....
I've tried talking to him and explaining but nothing seems to work.
It's really upsetting and disappointing to me considering as he's the love of my life.
I really understand you because i was cutting myself too so what i have to say to you is good luck because it´s not easy to stop it´s so hard, but you have to try it !! The people who is saying shit about you for cutting yourself, belive me it will be that all the time so don´t even thing about it, because they don´t know what is this...is such a powerfull thing, but destroys so many lives...So i think that you are being so brave admiting this in your videos, i really admire your courage !!
I think you make a good point in this video, and you tok the words straight out of my mouth. selfharmers are not just emos like people think. What the fuck is their problem.. selfharming is serius...
only just watched this video I had no idea you can have medication
I've had therapy for only a week and I've had this problem for since I was 10 therapy doesnt seem to help for me so I have no idea where to go from here but your video has a valid point to me I get people taking the piss every day and its horrible those people need a good long hard look in the mirror and think of how pathetic they are, thinking they can bully people with illness's it's damn right ignorent
As you said the physical pain is a temporary relief from emotional pain, endorphins (the body's natural painkillers) are released. The reason we cut is to escape or problems if only for a minute, you can't always cry so you do some thing else. You self righteous pricks who try to take that away....I would love, LOVE to see you do what we do everyday and take it it in stride. Again toxicpanda thank you for sharing yourself with the world I know someone knows that you too suffer as we do.
I want to thank you so much for making this video, so many people are just at the ready to judge someone they've never met. As a psychology major and a recovering self harmer this is not something that is cured overnight, I've been where I cut multiple times a day walking around with my razor feeling like a junkie wanting a fix when I don't have it; going down to probably cutting five time for the year and then something devastating happens ans I totally relapse.
I completely agree. As well with your first video. Especially with the "how dare you judge me" I completely agree. I was for 7 years. In the past year, I've done it (and extremely minor - but I did, moving on) once.
Self harmers are not weak.
You are totally and completely right.
You can't get over it by saying "stop" its not that easy. And no one who hasn't gone through it don't know. Even other people who have can't sympathize, everyone is different.
Personally, I rejected therapy and medication for some of my own issues. Therapy because I find it hard to express myself in words and I found it hard to talk to a complete stranger about things that are extremely personally.
I'm also anti-medication because I just don't want these unknown chemicals within me, all of which would have caused many animals harm. The idea that I'm getting help through a little pill creeps me out, and the moment I stop taking them I go back to who I really am.
I agree! I was a self harmer for 5 years. I'm still struggling but I try my hardest to stop myself and not relapse. It's so hard to try and go a day without it because it becomes like a drug.. Yew make very good points.
i officially love you and your videos. your like a guru :) i really agree with this video so much. people just don't seem to realise what their hatred can do to people. it hurts worse that the physical pain of cutting.
I have depression and Anxiety. I completely understand what your trying to say, it is hard enough living with depression and that constant feeling of fear and anxiety. I have been close to self harm few times but resisted. I don't know if you would classify picking at the skin by your nails, your lips, and your forehead as a self harming thing, but that is what I do. And seeing how I can't stop those I know that if I where to start self harm I would be gone. Thank you for posting this.
I have to say congratulations for stopping I am still struggling with self harm although over the past 2 years I have almost stopped but I still catch my self scratching and I don't even know I have done it till it is too late but any way I really wanted to say thank you for putting this vlog up to try and make ignorant people understand that self harm is not about attention seeking
I am really grateful to you I would not be strong enough to post this
people who hate dont know what its like! tho heres a puzzling q for you. I know this is a stereo type but people like you and i who want or like to look... different or unique seem to have self harm issues more commonly than 'regular people" if i may say lol! do you thinks its because were teased about who we are or were searching for ourselves and want attention through our appearance? i know it depends on the person but i would like to hear your take on my thoughts
@koyico3613 If you can find it, look for a bbc3 documentary called 'Cut up kids'. The main people in it are normal common people who suffer from self harm.
I know a lot of modded people suffer from self harm, as some of it can be caused from teasing. But in turn its also that getting mods can help with suffering (changing yourself, the pain, the sensation, wanting to nurture something)
For me it was changing my appearence, the sensation of the needle and needing something new to take care of.
I told my mother I'm depressed. She told me "Well don't be" like I can just drop it like it's nothing, I think maybe she feels well it can't happen to MY daughter. It's annoying because I never told her how I felt before and when the courage came she got mad saying that I shouldn't be and it's my fault and if I'm miserable no one will like me. My life is horrible and I tell her everyday but she just wont listen to me. It's like I have to go up to her with open wounds and say "Look and believe m
@RamenCupSW hun youll be ok i told my mom i might not be here one day once and she yelled at me and told me what ur gonna kill urself well you better do it right the first time or ill kill you. Litterly came out of her mouth >< But eventually i evened my self out its a long and hard process! eventually i gave in and am not on medication for all that stuff but it just takes time those sucky feelings will pass dont take your life for something so temporary
If I only had so many "likes" as you deserve! thank you for being so brave. I'm so glad your'e better now. what you're doing is very important and can help a lot of suffering people.
you're about half my age, but double my wisdom and generosity.
i'm glad your doing better. i don't know exactly what your going through. but i did the same thing. my depression got the best of me and it was the only thing that could make me focus on that instead of the life going around me. but i'm glad your doing better and i hope you keep it up ^.^
i have been a self harmer for about 2 years now. and i recently stopped because my friend who i thought was perfectly fine tried to kill her self, i spent 4 hours on the phone convincing her not to do it. and with all the things going on in my life right now, my mom has blood clots, my dad may possible have colon cancer. its just too much stress to handle to think that one day i am going to be by myself. but i am going to stay strong. and to all the ignorant fuck dont say s hit if you dont know.
if you have scars, don't regret them. they are your "story". and when you look at them, think of them as a time in your life where you weren't so strong, and that you now are stronger than ever! :D
thank you so much for posting this, it really does mean a lot, you are literally describing exactly what i'm feeling :) everything you've said it literally what i feel thank you <3
thank you for making this video, i'm going to show it to my boyfriend to try and help him understand why i have done this, and why i've chosen to do it
You really do understand. Not a lot of people can put it into words ^^. I'm not exactly what you'd call a self harmer, it's nothing major. I have a cut on my hand, in between the knuckles of my index and middle finger. It's not even an inch long. But it's there, I don't mind if it scars, because then I can look at it, and see what helped me cope. I think it's the same for other self harmers, it's like sucking the pain away from your mind and placing it on your skin. People just don't get it...
thank you for making this video, to help people understand. In the past i used self harm as a way of coping, and still struggle with it. I have found that most people don't really understand, and its a hard thing to put into words. But anyways, thank you for making this, hopefully it will help some people to be more understanding. :)
I know exactly what you're talking about. I was a self harmer for ages. I've stopped, but even still sometimes the two sides of me argue when I get pissed off or upset (when then I would cut, now I just kind of panic. After a brief period though, I wind up okay). I'm so glad you made this video. Someone else on this website gets it.
Uhm... I Wasn't Trying To Start Drama And I'm Not "Diagnosing" You But I Have Researched Bi-Polar And It Seems Like You Have It. And I'm Not Saying Anything Bad About You. It Shouldn't Be Token To Offense.
@SkullGirlXoxo7 Do you have years of mental health training? No. So please stop trying to diagnose people.
A lot of mental illness have very common traits and symptoms which can be confusing to people. Only a trained professional and a long assessment can diagnose someone.
This, exactly this. I love you for making this. So much. In every way. This is reality. This is what most people will never understand about us. Thank you. :)
Thanks for posting and hitting the situation accurately. I hadnt cut for over 2 years but life started falling apart just recently and I started again. And what scares me is that before i used to use dull objects but have now resorted to razor blades. I am scared of myself now because i know how easy it is just to end everything when razors cut through skin like butter. For the first time EVER I needed stitches for one of my cuts. yet instead of scaring me outta it, it intrigues....not good....
I really think this is one of the most inspirational videos I have seen for a long, long time. And just...this video sums up a lot of the emotions I've felt toward this difficult topic. And I find it clearly amazing how you can sit there and share with people you don't even know what you think and who you are. And I know I sound a little creepy, but I'd find it amazing to get to know some one like you. Is it possible we can maybe talk some time over MSN? And thank you..for making this. <3 (:
Huni, icommented on ur last video. ANd im going to comment o this one<3 i understand completely and if u ever need me u can txt me <33 ill always be here for u because i knw how u feel i cut to
this hits home, been the same for almost 9 years on and off cutting and other versions of self harm and sometimes it feels like there is no way out, and you lose ppl close to you because you cant stand to be around them, or anyone for that matter, and it just makes everything more lonely. 7months ago i took an entire bottle of excedrine and ended up in the hospital having my stomach pumped. and with my mother saying all i wanted was attention when all i wanted was to go away.
i love u. u seriously hit the nail on the head ive been self harm free for a year with cutting but im still harming myself in other ways which im working on but i keep it secret from everyone now
@RainiCouture Try to move away/keep away from any self harming i know its helping you deal with cutting but at the same time its like taking a step forward and two step backs.
@cracklinrose13 yea i know i dont cut anymore but im still bulimic i dont think its something that will ever go anyway ive been working on bulimia longer than i have cutting
wen i waz cutting i felt not good enuf but i didnt want any1 2 c me depressed so i brought rose thorns and id keep them in my pocket in skool and wen i felt lyk i wanted 2 cut id stab them in my hand all of them about 10 in each hand and read my book wit the thorns in my hands than take the thorns and rip them off as harshly as i can without any1 noticing than one day i finally tried 2 end it all took about 14 asprins than i went to sleep and for sum reason nothing happened i lived...
@everydaykidinus ive been doing this for over 3 years str8 ever since i waz 10-13 and wen i waz 10 i didnt know wat i waz doing i just knew it took the pain away so i did it the main thing i did was cut than i did the rose thorn thing cuz in skool i culdnt cut it took me up until about 5 months ago 2 say i do not want to die i want to live the rest of my life happy so i stopped doing maybe im not cured since i think if i die i die but all i know is i want to live the rest of my life
@everydaykidinus but im not sure if im cured cuz lately wit the shit thts happening i want to cut and i really want to end idk wat 2 do i know i wanna live my life but i also want it 2 end sorry 4 spamming the shit out of this but im not sure wat 2 do anymore
@everydaykidinus I'm really sorry to hear this :/ I've been through it too (self harming at school) mine was constant trips to the toilets and letting it all out. I hope at some point you get some help as it is a struggle to cope sometimes and therapy, medication or even just talking to your family can help you feel less alone.
As with the aspirin, please be very very careful! Overdose attempts with aspirin etc can do damage to your liver in the long run, so please don't do it again! Take care x
No. It's not like that. It is not a sign of strength. To go so low, feel so bad about yourself that you hurt yourself on purpose, is a sign of weakness. You don't have the strength to stop, you don't have the strength to get help, to do something else.
@fearlesssarahchaun FUK U hav u ever done it? dont judge until u went thru the same thing its weakness but its also makes me strong in a way the way tht i lyked the pain the way i craved the pain so badly it became a drug its almost the same thing if ur addicted to cutting its almost lyk ur addicted 2 herione so shut the fuk up and actually learn from this video fuker
@fearlesssarahchaun But you still have the strength to carry on. I've been a self harmer myself for 7 years and hit the lowest of the lows. Rather than people telling me I was weak, I realised I was strong. Strong enough to wake up everyday, strong enough to cope with my behaviour, strong enough one day to get help.
So yes, self harmers are STRONG, regardless of what you think.
it's really bad, you totally described it...i'm self arm free for like 4/5 months now, but its still a very very dificult strugle because...well, long story short, i'm not okay at all, and my way to deal with the pain was self arming, but i've made a promise to a friend and i intend to keep it.
and other bad thing is the scars, they'll always be there reminding you of that past, when you suffered so much..
and people think mental illness' are a joke, but they're not at all!
@1erida 100% agreed! I think the worst part of self harm is that even when you're essentially 'cured', you live with the constant reminder of scars that'll never heal. So 5/10 years down the line when you haven't cut, people will still assume you have. Its a disgusting reality and almost makes me ashamed to be classed as a human when you get ignorant bastards thinking its okay to mock things that are this serious!
I'm proud you've managed 5 months now, keep it up! x
@toxicpanda do you think i can text you a private message anytime i feel like cutting? Bc you understand what its like and honestly i dont have many friends bc i pushed them away, i didnt want them around me and i still dont want, so talking to somebody that has gone through the same thing i did would be some help :x i've tried to ask for help to my parents 3times but they never take me seriously. they have no idea i almost died one night, i was lucky enough bc i naturally throw up all the pills
@1erida Of course! If you want I'll send you my MSN through a private message and you can message me whenever you feel like you need a chat. I know how lonely it can be sometimes when suffering with depression etc, so consider me here :) x
@toxicpanda Am so glad that your hanging in there and stopped. By the way you explained your video and the feeling behind depression so well- flashback much.
For everyone else still struggling with this dont give up i promise you you'll get through it and once you do it's the best ♥ never give up. i was once in your shoes 3 years ago, and am happy with life and where am at now.
but the words on the wise really help and it makes me feel better knowing that someone else knows how i am...and how i feel. waking upp for me is hard going to sllep takes hours which for others takes 5 minutes. the simplest things are hard. ive been through burning cutting ice burns rope burns staving myelf and im still getting out of it. and i know i am a strong person with my body but my mind is sunken in and all i do is paste on aa smile so no one knows. so no one worries.
inspiring word from a wise mind. I use to self harm so I know how it is. Im still dealing with the stress of wanting to harm...so i know how it is. thank you for getting the word and the true meaning off.
Every person will know someone who suffers from a mental illness. I know people who have depression (including myself), self-harmers, bio-polar disorder, schizophrenia, panic attacks... Mental illness is everywhere. That's why it's so sad to see that people can still be so ignorant of it.
I never been a person who was ignorant about self harm. I've known people who have done it who were still harming while I knew them or people who had harmed and were ashamed etc. I myself have also self harmed a few times, not in exactly a major way.
But I also know someone who had self harmed that it was pretty blatant they were doing it exactly for attention. Then once even said 'Oh my scars are healing, I'll need to re-do them'. People like that give the real sufferes bad names.
Thank you for this video. I've been self harm free for almost a year now. Your honesty is really admirable.With mental illness there is a way through it and a way to cope without being self destuctive. It just takes a long time and a lot of pain and energy to get there. It is possible and your video made me remember that =)
this is such an ispiring video - someone that understands people with depression and/or other things related to it
i was raped and i hate the ignorant people (some of which are my friends) that make that facebook rape joke - to me its not funny and i just picture myself lying there saying stop and i can feel the pain all over again
i hope that we can get these ignorant bastards to stop joking about life-changing, serious things so lightly
I've been through similar circumstances. Only I'm a schizophrenic. My whole life I'll need medication. I went through the cutting thing. I had started when I was in the 6th grade. I stopped in high school. But in America, there are people who do it for attention. There was a girl who I was just standing next to, told me she was a cutter and asked if I wanted to see her scars. That's offensive to me. You may not be one but they are out there.
@MissusPanda i have disorganized schizophrenia none of the medications work just make it worse and expect me to just live in the street sellotaped in cardboard had that since 19 but i had a hard time threw school as was dyslexic and taking the piss was acceptable then for teachers but felt more shit then compared to being on the street as a freak so i wouldn't judge not all is attention , the smallest things in this world are the biggest killers
@MissusPanda I'm sorry to hear that! No, I've never been an attention cutter, the only times I ever brought attention to it was the few hospital trips I had to get stiches. Other than that it was a sleeves down job for a long time!
Sadly there are those who do it for attention and it does give an even worse name to self harm, but alas you get those types of people everywhere!
Pain induces chemical changes in the brain (some of them addictive), I have the same problem but I get vilolent in order to stimulate those endorphins and natural drugs... Not nice to you or those around you!
im very confused i dont understand what you mean by cope with the problems. if people rather feel pain then why doesnt every one harm them selves not trying to offend i just want answers..
lawlfunkynick 1 month ago
@lawlfunkynick The general feeling with a lot of self harmers is that said problems have overwhelmed them to a point of feeling numb. Everyone has problems of course, but when problems become a mental health problem, its not just one or 2 you can shrug off, it becomes your everything and people need to find a way to cope.
toxicpanda 1 month ago
Only one person knows I cut
bluescluesfony 1 month ago
TIP: ANYONE can self harm. Preps, emos, sluts, whores, nerds...I've seen it all. Everyone has issues but people self harm when they can't cope with something! That's why most people cut. Do some do it for attention? Of course! But people also wear shorts that show half their ass & alot of you don't complain about that. I am schizophrenic, bulimic, bipolar, and an ex cutter. I'm not an attention whore..I'm happy and confident.
BrittanyDawnColvin 2 months ago
@II2SIKLukeII How about I shove a couple of burning candles up your ass, you filthy, ignorant, ugly whore.
NichtNathalie 5 months ago
you are my idol. and everything you say is true.
XgivemeasmilexX 6 months ago
I dont but somehow you speaked my mind
Nadeemk46 6 months ago
I wrote a song about my friend that was cutting called Brea’s song. To see me perform it live copy or type (mason Bellamy Cedarville) in Youtube’s search window (I can’t post a link). THANKS!
~~PLEASE spread the word if you like it (Facebook, Twitter, ECT)! I want hurting kids to know their value and see it!~~ “YOU ARE A DIAMOND YOU’RE NO LONGER COAL”
mysoteria7 6 months ago
I agree.
And I'm happy to say that it's been 2 years, 7 months, and 17 days since my last suicide attempt.
I'm glad it's over and I'd be happy to be there for anyone going through the same thing. I hate to see people suffering alone with no one that understands that they can talk to. It's really sad seeing anyone like that.
sarahhatesyou94 9 months ago 2
Dude. I get all of this. 'Everyday is a struggle' is one of the things i always say when people asked me why I self harmed. it's been a year yet everyday still is a struggle. I admire you for taking back control, and I agree, fuck all the ignorant dicks. Self harmers are some of the strongest people. I'd like to see some of them take a blade to their own skin and see if they had the guts to do while feeling so depressed.
33degreestocool 9 months ago
hey i need to ask you something personal about this can you add me as a friend plz!!!
TheTravisFortune 9 months ago
This made me tear up. You are my new role model, you're strong. Thank you.
ahhello369 10 months ago
the people who say things like "your an attention seeking emo" are ignorant. Alot of time if your a self harmer you don't go around and say you do it. Most people i know try to keep it a secret & try to hide it ( like you said in the video). I think a lot of self harmers are misunderstood because there are younger people out there who think they will get attention if they do something bad, like hurtin themselves. It sucks, but i hope this video is an eye opener to many viewers :)
iAdoraVon 10 months ago
Youtube wouldn't let me send an email so....
I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar, I haven't been diagnosed or anything because the fact is that I'm way too scared to tell anyone about this [I am a cutter] and I just wanted to ask if you're not too busy do you think I should tell my parents and just be open about this or should I keep it bottled up until I feel as if I can't take it anymore? Because I don't feel as bad as I previously did.. If you have time you can answer, if you do, thank you so much.
mstoxicprincess 10 months ago
You give such a good description in this video i showed it to my boyfriend in the hope that he would understand. Instead he just laughed and even said, when u said "self harmers are probably some of the strongest people u will meet", he just laughed again and said yeah right....
I've tried talking to him and explaining but nothing seems to work.
It's really upsetting and disappointing to me considering as he's the love of my life.
Anyone have any ideas of what I can do?
s0uli3 10 months ago
Thank you. I wish everyone could see this video and maybe this world would be less ignorant. :)
brandonblastoff13 10 months ago
I really understand you because i was cutting myself too so what i have to say to you is good luck because it´s not easy to stop it´s so hard, but you have to try it !! The people who is saying shit about you for cutting yourself, belive me it will be that all the time so don´t even thing about it, because they don´t know what is this...is such a powerfull thing, but destroys so many lives...So i think that you are being so brave admiting this in your videos, i really admire your courage !!
SarahSebastianSaint 10 months ago
<3
BrokenPieces0510 10 months ago
I think you make a good point in this video, and you tok the words straight out of my mouth. selfharmers are not just emos like people think. What the fuck is their problem.. selfharming is serius...
TakitoAmiko 11 months ago
I AGREE WITH YOU ALL THE WAY!!!!! <3
xXxXlilshadyxXxX 11 months ago
I AGREE WITH YOU ALL THE FREAKING WAY!!!!! <3
xXxXlilshadyxXxX 11 months ago
@toxicpanda
only just watched this video I had no idea you can have medication
I've had therapy for only a week and I've had this problem for since I was 10 therapy doesnt seem to help for me so I have no idea where to go from here but your video has a valid point to me I get people taking the piss every day and its horrible those people need a good long hard look in the mirror and think of how pathetic they are, thinking they can bully people with illness's it's damn right ignorent
MsMinchishi 11 months ago
As you said the physical pain is a temporary relief from emotional pain, endorphins (the body's natural painkillers) are released. The reason we cut is to escape or problems if only for a minute, you can't always cry so you do some thing else. You self righteous pricks who try to take that away....I would love, LOVE to see you do what we do everyday and take it it in stride. Again toxicpanda thank you for sharing yourself with the world I know someone knows that you too suffer as we do.
PrissyConfusedPandah 11 months ago
I want to thank you so much for making this video, so many people are just at the ready to judge someone they've never met. As a psychology major and a recovering self harmer this is not something that is cured overnight, I've been where I cut multiple times a day walking around with my razor feeling like a junkie wanting a fix when I don't have it; going down to probably cutting five time for the year and then something devastating happens ans I totally relapse.
PrissyConfusedPandah 11 months ago
To quote Three Days Grace in thier song "Pain".
"I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"
that is completely true. when you are in the cycle of self-harm.
MrsWayneRooney 11 months ago
I completely agree. As well with your first video. Especially with the "how dare you judge me" I completely agree. I was for 7 years. In the past year, I've done it (and extremely minor - but I did, moving on) once.
Self harmers are not weak.
You are totally and completely right.
You can't get over it by saying "stop" its not that easy. And no one who hasn't gone through it don't know. Even other people who have can't sympathize, everyone is different.
MrsWayneRooney 11 months ago
Personally, I rejected therapy and medication for some of my own issues. Therapy because I find it hard to express myself in words and I found it hard to talk to a complete stranger about things that are extremely personally.
I'm also anti-medication because I just don't want these unknown chemicals within me, all of which would have caused many animals harm. The idea that I'm getting help through a little pill creeps me out, and the moment I stop taking them I go back to who I really am.
AH :(
BarryMLove 11 months ago
I really like your hair and piercings.. They look really good on you. I can relate to your message and I think you're doing some great work.
Negr0zzy 1 year ago
im so proud of you <3
k333mcr 1 year ago
thank you love your beautiful xxx
ffffffffffloz 1 year ago
i've been depressed for 5 years now, and i still have my bad days.
ijust hearing your description of what depression feels like.. it took me back to the place where i felt totally insignificant, worthless.
i respect you immensely. thank you for posting this video so i know that i'm not alone.
rumplelumps 1 year ago
I agree! I was a self harmer for 5 years. I'm still struggling but I try my hardest to stop myself and not relapse. It's so hard to try and go a day without it because it becomes like a drug.. Yew make very good points.
sammyateme 1 year ago
Comment removed
EmmaLabhaoiseTaylor 1 year ago
@toxicpanda
i officially love you and your videos. your like a guru :) i really agree with this video so much. people just don't seem to realise what their hatred can do to people. it hurts worse that the physical pain of cutting.
thank you mucho love. x
EmmaLabhaoiseTaylor 1 year ago
I have depression and Anxiety. I completely understand what your trying to say, it is hard enough living with depression and that constant feeling of fear and anxiety. I have been close to self harm few times but resisted. I don't know if you would classify picking at the skin by your nails, your lips, and your forehead as a self harming thing, but that is what I do. And seeing how I can't stop those I know that if I where to start self harm I would be gone. Thank you for posting this.
Banirura 1 year ago
I have to say congratulations for stopping I am still struggling with self harm although over the past 2 years I have almost stopped but I still catch my self scratching and I don't even know I have done it till it is too late but any way I really wanted to say thank you for putting this vlog up to try and make ignorant people understand that self harm is not about attention seeking
I am really grateful to you I would not be strong enough to post this
buggaboo922 1 year ago
people who hate dont know what its like! tho heres a puzzling q for you. I know this is a stereo type but people like you and i who want or like to look... different or unique seem to have self harm issues more commonly than 'regular people" if i may say lol! do you thinks its because were teased about who we are or were searching for ourselves and want attention through our appearance? i know it depends on the person but i would like to hear your take on my thoughts
koyico3613 1 year ago 2
@koyico3613 If you can find it, look for a bbc3 documentary called 'Cut up kids'. The main people in it are normal common people who suffer from self harm.
I know a lot of modded people suffer from self harm, as some of it can be caused from teasing. But in turn its also that getting mods can help with suffering (changing yourself, the pain, the sensation, wanting to nurture something)
For me it was changing my appearence, the sensation of the needle and needing something new to take care of.
toxicpanda 1 year ago 3
I totally agree
DkSceneCrew14 1 year ago
i fucking love you!! everything u said in here is just SOOO true!! <3 i agree with everything that came out of ur mouth :)
23holdingonxx 1 year ago
@RamenCupSW ik what i mean my mom does the same thing 24/7 if u wana talk bout anything message me
theusedbert24 1 year ago
@theusedbert24 Thanks I will
RamenCupSW 1 year ago
I told my mother I'm depressed. She told me "Well don't be" like I can just drop it like it's nothing, I think maybe she feels well it can't happen to MY daughter. It's annoying because I never told her how I felt before and when the courage came she got mad saying that I shouldn't be and it's my fault and if I'm miserable no one will like me. My life is horrible and I tell her everyday but she just wont listen to me. It's like I have to go up to her with open wounds and say "Look and believe m
RamenCupSW 1 year ago
@RamenCupSW hun youll be ok i told my mom i might not be here one day once and she yelled at me and told me what ur gonna kill urself well you better do it right the first time or ill kill you. Litterly came out of her mouth >< But eventually i evened my self out its a long and hard process! eventually i gave in and am not on medication for all that stuff but it just takes time those sucky feelings will pass dont take your life for something so temporary
koyico3613 1 year ago
@koyico3613 I know it's just hard to enjoy life when theres so much crap going on right? u.u
RamenCupSW 1 year ago
You're beautiful, strong, and amazing person for getting through this.
It's a struggle. I'm sorry you went through it.
dybim 1 year ago
you're not pathetic, and i'm glad you are strong enough to put up a video. good for you.
DiabloF33t 1 year ago
If I only had so many "likes" as you deserve! thank you for being so brave. I'm so glad your'e better now. what you're doing is very important and can help a lot of suffering people.
you're about half my age, but double my wisdom and generosity.
uri622 1 year ago
@II2SIKLukeII well good for you! Theres just as many people who think the same way of you, so perhaps... follow your own logic?
fail.
toxicpanda 1 year ago 2
@II2SIKLukeII yeah people do actually. Got a problem with it? go lick your boyfriends arse and cry about it to him.
You're just a sad boy who really has nothing better to do with his life so fuck off already. You're getting boring stating the obvious!
toxicpanda 1 year ago
i'm glad your doing better. i don't know exactly what your going through. but i did the same thing. my depression got the best of me and it was the only thing that could make me focus on that instead of the life going around me. but i'm glad your doing better and i hope you keep it up ^.^
XxXRainbowXxXBear 1 year ago
i have been a self harmer for about 2 years now. and i recently stopped because my friend who i thought was perfectly fine tried to kill her self, i spent 4 hours on the phone convincing her not to do it. and with all the things going on in my life right now, my mom has blood clots, my dad may possible have colon cancer. its just too much stress to handle to think that one day i am going to be by myself. but i am going to stay strong. and to all the ignorant fuck dont say s hit if you dont know.
MaryyyCakesss 1 year ago
if you have scars, don't regret them. they are your "story". and when you look at them, think of them as a time in your life where you weren't so strong, and that you now are stronger than ever! :D
iamboredable 1 year ago
YOUR SO SEXY
pavan559 1 year ago 2
i agree with every single word you just said.
you are amazing :) x
IsThisAGeneralFiasco 1 year ago
ive been through that, it is difficult, im happy you pulled through:), what happened to your gorgeus cheek piercings
monica0soares 1 year ago
@II2SIKLukeII is that all you can come up with for a retort?
fail. looks like I win!
toxicpanda 1 year ago 2
@II2SIKLukeII Wow, you really think I'm going to take an insult from someone who spends all their time on a MMORPG?
People like YOU make me laugh annd possibly sick up in my mouth a little bit. Now get a life and grow up, you sad sad little boy.
toxicpanda 1 year ago 4
this was very inspiring. all your points are 100% valid.
gerbertperson 1 year ago
thank you so much for posting this, it really does mean a lot, you are literally describing exactly what i'm feeling :) everything you've said it literally what i feel thank you <3
AlexGaskarthIsMine 1 year ago
Your a nice girl get some help
fforziney01 1 year ago
@fforziney01 lmao did you actually bother listening to any of this? I'm RECOVERED. e.g I already got help and got cured.
toxicpanda 1 year ago 4
Ok....I get it now!
People cut because the 'pain' is a reminder that they are alive, and the depression makes them feel...well dead...
thank you!
applebug 1 year ago
thank you for making this video, i'm going to show it to my boyfriend to try and help him understand why i have done this, and why i've chosen to do it
CannibalKayde 1 year ago
You really do understand. Not a lot of people can put it into words ^^. I'm not exactly what you'd call a self harmer, it's nothing major. I have a cut on my hand, in between the knuckles of my index and middle finger. It's not even an inch long. But it's there, I don't mind if it scars, because then I can look at it, and see what helped me cope. I think it's the same for other self harmers, it's like sucking the pain away from your mind and placing it on your skin. People just don't get it...
xSakuraKurox 1 year ago
thank you for making this video, to help people understand. In the past i used self harm as a way of coping, and still struggle with it. I have found that most people don't really understand, and its a hard thing to put into words. But anyways, thank you for making this, hopefully it will help some people to be more understanding. :)
jaxin352 1 year ago
you used a word to describe depression that completely registered to me:
Disgusting.
ive been trying to explain it to people who dont understand , depression isnt just being sad one day. i couldnt find a word up until now.
thank you <3
CiaraDestiny 1 year ago
I know exactly what you're talking about. I was a self harmer for ages. I've stopped, but even still sometimes the two sides of me argue when I get pissed off or upset (when then I would cut, now I just kind of panic. After a brief period though, I wind up okay). I'm so glad you made this video. Someone else on this website gets it.
ashleyhatesmusic 1 year ago
I love you so much.
abbeyy395 1 year ago
Uhm... I Wasn't Trying To Start Drama And I'm Not "Diagnosing" You But I Have Researched Bi-Polar And It Seems Like You Have It. And I'm Not Saying Anything Bad About You. It Shouldn't Be Token To Offense.
SkullGirlXoxo7 1 year ago
@SkullGirlXoxo7 'But I Have Researched Bi-Polar And It Seems Like You Have It'
Diagnosis.
I can assure you I don't have bipolar, I know my diagnosis.
toxicpanda 1 year ago
im pretty sure you have bi polar what you are explaining is being bipolar.
SkullGirlXoxo7 1 year ago
@SkullGirlXoxo7 Do you have years of mental health training? No. So please stop trying to diagnose people.
A lot of mental illness have very common traits and symptoms which can be confusing to people. Only a trained professional and a long assessment can diagnose someone.
toxicpanda 1 year ago 12
This, exactly this. I love you for making this. So much. In every way. This is reality. This is what most people will never understand about us. Thank you. :)
TreeBearBaby 1 year ago
you are a really amazing person! good on you!
kennyntara 1 year ago
Thankyou so much, I have sent it to many of my friends to they know not to be so narrow minded and rude.
littleblackdress1210 1 year ago
i think thats called bipolar
bleedingxhearts2 1 year ago
@bleedingxhearts2 huh?
toxicpanda 1 year ago
Thanks for posting and hitting the situation accurately. I hadnt cut for over 2 years but life started falling apart just recently and I started again. And what scares me is that before i used to use dull objects but have now resorted to razor blades. I am scared of myself now because i know how easy it is just to end everything when razors cut through skin like butter. For the first time EVER I needed stitches for one of my cuts. yet instead of scaring me outta it, it intrigues....not good....
amindofmyownhere 1 year ago
I really think this is one of the most inspirational videos I have seen for a long, long time. And just...this video sums up a lot of the emotions I've felt toward this difficult topic. And I find it clearly amazing how you can sit there and share with people you don't even know what you think and who you are. And I know I sound a little creepy, but I'd find it amazing to get to know some one like you. Is it possible we can maybe talk some time over MSN? And thank you..for making this. <3 (:
XoLilAnimeLover95ox 1 year ago
So many people died cause of mobbing etc.,
how many more have to die until these stupid, ignorant motherfuckers use their little brains?!
I HATE YOU IGNORANT BASTARDS!
MuhKuhTutMuhn 1 year ago
Huni, icommented on ur last video. ANd im going to comment o this one<3 i understand completely and if u ever need me u can txt me <33 ill always be here for u because i knw how u feel i cut to
XxLilMiizzFreakxX 1 year ago
You;re so beautiful. I'm so glad someone has actually spoken about how we all feel.
You are right, so many people are really ignorant.
ericamclure 1 year ago
this hits home, been the same for almost 9 years on and off cutting and other versions of self harm and sometimes it feels like there is no way out, and you lose ppl close to you because you cant stand to be around them, or anyone for that matter, and it just makes everything more lonely. 7months ago i took an entire bottle of excedrine and ended up in the hospital having my stomach pumped. and with my mother saying all i wanted was attention when all i wanted was to go away.
MacenMadness 1 year ago
That was a million percent spot on.
helloimcalledbob 1 year ago
i'm so glad someone understands.
everytime one of my friends find out i have been doing it, i get called selfish.
it's just my way of dealing with everything.
jasminesummerx 1 year ago
i love u. u seriously hit the nail on the head ive been self harm free for a year with cutting but im still harming myself in other ways which im working on but i keep it secret from everyone now
RainiCouture 1 year ago
@RainiCouture Try to move away/keep away from any self harming i know its helping you deal with cutting but at the same time its like taking a step forward and two step backs.
cracklinrose13 1 year ago
@cracklinrose13 yea i know i dont cut anymore but im still bulimic i dont think its something that will ever go anyway ive been working on bulimia longer than i have cutting
RainiCouture 1 year ago
i fucking love you.
Mcritter135 1 year ago
you are amazing.
(and very beautiful)
miscelaineouspsc 1 year ago
Thankyou X
incrediblefruit 1 year ago
Pretty blue hair chickadee!
weasalw 1 year ago
I could not have said it better myself.
Thank you.
<3
theblahhbaby 1 year ago
wen i waz cutting i felt not good enuf but i didnt want any1 2 c me depressed so i brought rose thorns and id keep them in my pocket in skool and wen i felt lyk i wanted 2 cut id stab them in my hand all of them about 10 in each hand and read my book wit the thorns in my hands than take the thorns and rip them off as harshly as i can without any1 noticing than one day i finally tried 2 end it all took about 14 asprins than i went to sleep and for sum reason nothing happened i lived...
everydaykidinus 1 year ago
@everydaykidinus ive been doing this for over 3 years str8 ever since i waz 10-13 and wen i waz 10 i didnt know wat i waz doing i just knew it took the pain away so i did it the main thing i did was cut than i did the rose thorn thing cuz in skool i culdnt cut it took me up until about 5 months ago 2 say i do not want to die i want to live the rest of my life happy so i stopped doing maybe im not cured since i think if i die i die but all i know is i want to live the rest of my life
everydaykidinus 1 year ago
@everydaykidinus but im not sure if im cured cuz lately wit the shit thts happening i want to cut and i really want to end idk wat 2 do i know i wanna live my life but i also want it 2 end sorry 4 spamming the shit out of this but im not sure wat 2 do anymore
everydaykidinus 1 year ago
@everydaykidinus I'm really sorry to hear this :/ I've been through it too (self harming at school) mine was constant trips to the toilets and letting it all out. I hope at some point you get some help as it is a struggle to cope sometimes and therapy, medication or even just talking to your family can help you feel less alone.
As with the aspirin, please be very very careful! Overdose attempts with aspirin etc can do damage to your liver in the long run, so please don't do it again! Take care x
toxicpanda 1 year ago
You explained it perfectly <3
HelloxBritty 1 year ago
Listen,
No. It's not like that. It is not a sign of strength. To go so low, feel so bad about yourself that you hurt yourself on purpose, is a sign of weakness. You don't have the strength to stop, you don't have the strength to get help, to do something else.
fearlesssarahchaun 1 year ago
@fearlesssarahchaun FUK U hav u ever done it? dont judge until u went thru the same thing its weakness but its also makes me strong in a way the way tht i lyked the pain the way i craved the pain so badly it became a drug its almost the same thing if ur addicted to cutting its almost lyk ur addicted 2 herione so shut the fuk up and actually learn from this video fuker
everydaykidinus 1 year ago
@fearlesssarahchaun But you still have the strength to carry on. I've been a self harmer myself for 7 years and hit the lowest of the lows. Rather than people telling me I was weak, I realised I was strong. Strong enough to wake up everyday, strong enough to cope with my behaviour, strong enough one day to get help.
So yes, self harmers are STRONG, regardless of what you think.
toxicpanda 1 year ago
Wise words!
it's really bad, you totally described it...i'm self arm free for like 4/5 months now, but its still a very very dificult strugle because...well, long story short, i'm not okay at all, and my way to deal with the pain was self arming, but i've made a promise to a friend and i intend to keep it.
and other bad thing is the scars, they'll always be there reminding you of that past, when you suffered so much..
and people think mental illness' are a joke, but they're not at all!
1erida 1 year ago 6
@1erida 100% agreed! I think the worst part of self harm is that even when you're essentially 'cured', you live with the constant reminder of scars that'll never heal. So 5/10 years down the line when you haven't cut, people will still assume you have. Its a disgusting reality and almost makes me ashamed to be classed as a human when you get ignorant bastards thinking its okay to mock things that are this serious!
I'm proud you've managed 5 months now, keep it up! x
toxicpanda 1 year ago
@toxicpanda do you think i can text you a private message anytime i feel like cutting? Bc you understand what its like and honestly i dont have many friends bc i pushed them away, i didnt want them around me and i still dont want, so talking to somebody that has gone through the same thing i did would be some help :x i've tried to ask for help to my parents 3times but they never take me seriously. they have no idea i almost died one night, i was lucky enough bc i naturally throw up all the pills
1erida 1 year ago
@1erida Of course! If you want I'll send you my MSN through a private message and you can message me whenever you feel like you need a chat. I know how lonely it can be sometimes when suffering with depression etc, so consider me here :) x
toxicpanda 1 year ago
@toxicpanda If you don't mind, I would like to :x
it is really lonely and right now i feel really tired and alone and... I dont know... It would be good to have someone to talk to :x
thank you so much, really :)
1erida 1 year ago
@toxicpanda Am so glad that your hanging in there and stopped. By the way you explained your video and the feeling behind depression so well- flashback much.
For everyone else still struggling with this dont give up i promise you you'll get through it and once you do it's the best ♥ never give up. i was once in your shoes 3 years ago, and am happy with life and where am at now.
cracklinrose13 1 year ago
but the words on the wise really help and it makes me feel better knowing that someone else knows how i am...and how i feel. waking upp for me is hard going to sllep takes hours which for others takes 5 minutes. the simplest things are hard. ive been through burning cutting ice burns rope burns staving myelf and im still getting out of it. and i know i am a strong person with my body but my mind is sunken in and all i do is paste on aa smile so no one knows. so no one worries.
RuthTheZombie 1 year ago
inspiring word from a wise mind. I use to self harm so I know how it is. Im still dealing with the stress of wanting to harm...so i know how it is. thank you for getting the word and the true meaning off.
RuthTheZombie 1 year ago
Every person will know someone who suffers from a mental illness. I know people who have depression (including myself), self-harmers, bio-polar disorder, schizophrenia, panic attacks... Mental illness is everywhere. That's why it's so sad to see that people can still be so ignorant of it.
Andserkiel 1 year ago
I never been a person who was ignorant about self harm. I've known people who have done it who were still harming while I knew them or people who had harmed and were ashamed etc. I myself have also self harmed a few times, not in exactly a major way.
But I also know someone who had self harmed that it was pretty blatant they were doing it exactly for attention. Then once even said 'Oh my scars are healing, I'll need to re-do them'. People like that give the real sufferes bad names.
FilthyRainbows 1 year ago 2
Thank you for this video. I've been self harm free for almost a year now. Your honesty is really admirable.With mental illness there is a way through it and a way to cope without being self destuctive. It just takes a long time and a lot of pain and energy to get there. It is possible and your video made me remember that =)
prettyriot 1 year ago
this is such an ispiring video - someone that understands people with depression and/or other things related to it
i was raped and i hate the ignorant people (some of which are my friends) that make that facebook rape joke - to me its not funny and i just picture myself lying there saying stop and i can feel the pain all over again
i hope that we can get these ignorant bastards to stop joking about life-changing, serious things so lightly
xXxXxginaxXxXx 1 year ago
I've been through similar circumstances. Only I'm a schizophrenic. My whole life I'll need medication. I went through the cutting thing. I had started when I was in the 6th grade. I stopped in high school. But in America, there are people who do it for attention. There was a girl who I was just standing next to, told me she was a cutter and asked if I wanted to see her scars. That's offensive to me. You may not be one but they are out there.
MissusPanda 1 year ago
@MissusPanda i have disorganized schizophrenia none of the medications work just make it worse and expect me to just live in the street sellotaped in cardboard had that since 19 but i had a hard time threw school as was dyslexic and taking the piss was acceptable then for teachers but felt more shit then compared to being on the street as a freak so i wouldn't judge not all is attention , the smallest things in this world are the biggest killers
manix30000 1 year ago
@MissusPanda I'm sorry to hear that! No, I've never been an attention cutter, the only times I ever brought attention to it was the few hospital trips I had to get stiches. Other than that it was a sleeves down job for a long time!
Sadly there are those who do it for attention and it does give an even worse name to self harm, but alas you get those types of people everywhere!
toxicpanda 1 year ago
Glad your better now :) Your Amazing! :) x
HarlequinGirl02 1 year ago
@HarlequinGirl02 or You're depending how you look at it :) lol
HarlequinGirl02 1 year ago
Oh yeah, well done in your progress so far, keep it up!
Gothtecdotcom 1 year ago
Pain induces chemical changes in the brain (some of them addictive), I have the same problem but I get vilolent in order to stimulate those endorphins and natural drugs... Not nice to you or those around you!
Gothtecdotcom 1 year ago
@Gothtecdotcom You need to get into mma fighting, my friend.
NoJamOnYourBread 1 year ago
@Gothtecdotcom maybe that sort of explains one of the reasons why getting pierced/tattooed is addictive
xXxXxginaxXxXx 1 year ago
@xXxXxginaxXxXx with added "look what I've done!"
Gothtecdotcom 1 year ago