Two-Minute Therapy: Healthy Grieving - Making Peace With Loss

[vickiormindyb]

I HAVE one of those books, but the one I have expects you to work with a partner and I can't find anyone who wants to work on it with me. Not even my daughter, who tries to avoid me at every opportunity.

I guess I'll have to try the other two books that, as of now, I don't have.

[reneehaas1]

@vickiormindyb I presume you're referring to "The Grief Recovery Handbook." If you can't find anyone you know to do the work with, you might try to find a bereavement support group in your area through a hospice, hospital or other organization. You could probably find one by doing an online search using the term "bereavement support group" and your city. I'm sure this anniversary year is a very difficult time for you. I'm so sorry.

[vickiormindyb]

My therapist said there's no such thing as 'healthy grieving.'

He's a grief therapist.

The only UNhealthy grieving would be if you went out to find the person who killed your loved one to kill the person who did it.

Ours was murdered and the people who did it will never be brought to justice.

[vickiormindyb]

@vickiormindyb BTW how do you grieve a death that the country inSISTS on replaying every single year. They show pictures of the towers in flames. Well, duh. When we see it, we think of him dying again. When you show pictures of the towers in flames that's exACTly what you're showing people. You're showing them dying over and over. Every year.

And what do we do with the 'your own government murdered him' idiots, NONE of whom even exISTED in 2001 and 2002?

[reneehaas1]

@vickiormindyb I'm not sure what your therapist means by saying there's no such thing as healthy grieving. I think of grieving as a healing process, and ideally over time the individual feels that the initial wound has healed somewhat. Of course the loss will never be painless or forgotten, but the individual can move on to a new chapter in their life.

[vickiormindyb]

@reneehaas1 Not that I'm going to try to guess what he means, b/c I'd be almost always be wrong, I'll just say what he said: "People who tell you grief has a timetable or that you grieve the same way they do, that isn't true.