Guide to America by France's #1 insult comic

[DELJSAM]

It's not about being funny. It's about TELLING THE TRUTH, Period. Exp: American's fast-food is making the world FAT. What is not true about that???

[erion4tollivet]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY: NAPOLEON B. LOST!!! GO JUMP ON AN ISLAND SOMEWHERE!!!!

[Thrawnization]

The freedom fries thing was the only funny bit, the rest of it was pretty weak.

[callmeblainer]

@mike7795 lol shouldnt be a problem

[flafla45]

Simonnnn Beauregardd

[HugoDabadie]

And people from quebec speak french alright, wtf is wrong with this guy anyway

[HugoDabadie]

It is so obvious that he ain't french, Simon Beauregard, just check the effing name, i've never heard someone called Beauregard and at the beginning, 'Bonjeeerr, je m'appele Simonne bonregar" Attempt to have a french accent : fail.

[brycar14]

FUK YOU FAT LARD lol we sell weed so its all good BRO lol !

[stfwho]

Aright. I'm moving to France.

[descentfromhistory]

LOL....100% true.

[callmeblainer]

@USAdude30 Well i would love to kick some of em in the balls with u but in all honesty i feel like freedom and working in EU its way better then the US so im out of here an i hope u go befor the US melts any more

[callmeblainer]

@USAdude30 I just want to live my life in france lol but denmark is a nice place go there better then the usa ahhaha

[callmeblainer]

@USAdude30 Well what I am saying is I dont dislike americans im an american lol but my great grandparents are from France im willing to fight the war because i believe whats goin on right now if wrong how there treating those people but for freedom of law and what our country is becoming is bad where in major debt and laws are just retarded. So understand i dont dislike americans I just dont like whats goin on in our country.

[callmeblainer]

@USAdude30 i am goin to the army actully but even tho i dont like the us i am willing to fight an die for it

[callmeblainer]

@USAdude30 oh btw im not a fuckin muslim fuck towel heads

[callmeblainer]

@USAdude30 EAT SHIT FAG I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

[callmeblainer]

ALL I NO IS IM FROM AMERICA BUT I SAY - FUCK AMERICA PROUDLY - MY BACKROUND IS FRENCH I AM JOINING THE US NAVY SAVING MY MONEY FOR 4 YEARS TAKEING SOME FREE COLLEGE GET A TRAIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT IM COMIN TO FRANCE =)

[callmeblainer]

ALL I NO IS IM FROM AMERICA BUT I SAY - FUCK AMERICA PROUDLY - MY BACKROUND IS FRENCH I AM JOINING THE US NAVY SAVING MY MONEY FOR 4 YEARS TAKEING SOME FREE COLLEGE GET A TRAIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT IM COMIN TO FRANCE =)

[ELP0I0]

AMERICA IS A F*CKING CONTINENT!! IN USA THEY TRY TO PRETEND ALL BELONGS TO THEM, BUT IT'S NOT. THEY CAN CONQUER OUR MARKETS, OUR CULTURE AND OUR POLTICIANS, BUT NOT THE PEOPLE. SO YOU GUYS LEARN F*CKIN GEOGRAPHY!! AMERICA IS A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!! A CONTINENT!!!

[unseenxxx]

These jokes suck.

[MrCodymcrysel]

i dont know weather i should be insulted or amused so yes that was kinda funny but also fuck you

[woodwindvista]

I agree with everything he said! America is somewhat embarrassing to the rest of the world with out fat-ass people and the Iraq war, lol.

[chardsnake]

i really hate how people talk about nationality. we're all people for christ sake, lets treat eachother like people and quit acting like assholes towards one another!

[tonysanthedarkstar]

Will people keep saying this guy actually is french or francophone? This guy isn't. His fake accent made my head explode. He's a so called "comic" coming from your pathetic country, he makes fun of you and tries to convince you he's french, so you -as brainless as you are- think he's one, and insult France. You should get your head up your ass for once. Since when a french speak like that? Are you stupid or something?

[dmperu11]

lmfaooo incas in mexico!!!?? hahaha wooow that was a stupid thing to say, basically this dumb french bastard is not better than an ignorant american.

[TheWarriorchamp]

THE ARE FRENCH HOMOS

[Murphman992]

You do realize it's because of America that France is still around right?

[cobalt2402]

@Murphman992 You do realize America is around due to France?

[TheDizzun]

I think it's funny how France tries to talk shit with how shitty their own country is.

[tonysanthedarkstar]

@lululalumaka

"why does this guy pretend to be french (wake up people he's an american "comic" called matt ruby) and say all that sh*** about america and quebec??? that's not even funny and it makes people hate france for no reason!!!... "

I always see guys like that, trying to convince they are french and insult a nation... then asshole see it and insult back... Then goes to the national anthem and troll and so on... I find that behaviour disgusting and imature

[XavierNinnis]

Absolutely hilarious. Sad and depressingly accurate, but hilarious.

The one thing I would have liked to have seen added, would have been to have Branson Missouri added as one of the exotic destinations for vacationing Americans.

[duck1988]

I think it was the aztecs who invented the jello shot...LMAO

[dudehere1981]

Now this is just funny and I'm American. Except don't mess with Harry Potter!! I love my potter but I do read other books that are more adult.

[XxxSakura101]

LMFAO xD!!!

[DuPuieproductions]

America deserves every bit of this, because of how they make fun of us.

[KnightsofEmerald]

Quebec:The French of Gutter whores! lol, so true, but it has its charms

[Sorablack27]

you went too far. orah kicks ass, fils du salope.

[bonnarj7]

America, FUCK YEAH!

[Aphexadus]

I'm cool with all of what he stated until he had to bring Dr.Pepper into this ;_;

[SecularTechnology]

YUMM. Large Burgers. I'm eating one right now.

[SecularTechnology]

I knew right away that this fellow is American

[Moshikashitenai]

OMG IT'S ALL TRUE!!! LOL!!!!!

[lululalumaka]

why does this guy pretend to be french (wake up people he's an american "comic" called matt ruby) and say all that sh*** about america and quebec??? that's not even funny and it makes people hate france for no reason!!!...

[rediconAoC]

@lululalumaka I don't hate France and I thought it was fucking hilarious.

[RacistRazaRaper]

Why the fuck would a Frenchman want to come here? Why the fuck would an American want to go to France? I have an erector set. I can get a Mexican to spit on my food for free.

If you want to take 5 hours to eat a meal, why not just drink excessively and pass out? To me, that seems like more fun, but I don't like bitching all that much.

Call us the next time the Germans invade. On second thought - don't.

[batardtronique]

life is sweet in france, a minimum of stress not too much, a good cooking, and places to visit, what more ? french people are just a little bit "pretentious" and think they live in the most beautiful country in the world

[Laurinnha]

LOOOOOOOOOL hahaha XD "fuckin americans" hahaha french accent is the best

[Jesus0331]

Fuck France, Hitler would have gased you all if America didnt save your ass.

[ManofManyPasswords]

Haha I agree with most of the points made in the video although I'm American, I thought it was pretty funny and true, and that's the difference between Americans and other people, we can laugh at ourselves even, because we're confident enough to know that our positives tremendously outweigh our negatives.

[Dyzm]

The only french word I know is surrender.

[MEpianist]

@Dyzm a dickhead like you surely wouldn't have heard the words "ménage à trois" ya?

[Dyzm]

@MEpianist Arent you and your boyfriends too busy blowing up tropical islands for that??

[MEpianist]

@Dyzm aren't you supposed to call me a "fag" too?

[Dyzm]

@MEpianist Why would I bother stating the obvious.

[MEpianist]

@Dyzm Because you're a 3rd grader.

[Dyzm]

@MEpianist It's better than sleeping with them.

[MEpianist]

@Dyzm Read some Kinsey, troll-boy. It's always your ilk with the biggest secret.

[Dyzm]

@MEpianist pfft Kinsey? What are you a freshman?

[MEpianist]

@Dyzm No one believes you're college-educated, stfu.

[Dyzm]

@MEpianist No one believed the french had testicles but somehow you've bred and now I have to deal with weak pseudo intellectuals.

[oxSaraLynnxo]

This guy is obviously American, FYI.

[nocategory4me]

this is so funny. just laugh at this.....

[152Tarn]

fuck the french !!

looserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr­rrrrrrrrrrr

[DelightfulSpleen]

fake french accent fail .....

[pens63]

thats was really funny!!! :D

[jonesrebel]

This wasn't that funny... but I guess it was pretty clever at some parts. Just pretty much playing off of stereotypes that aren't true for the most part.

[steagle1017]

LOL this is fantastic.

I love how the word "French" has become a four-letter word in american politics. Yes, comparing something to one of the most successfull, inteligent, and healthies countries in the world is SO damn insulting....

[akaNadik]

hmm , ok i can understand some of the stuff you say about the US , but when you bring mexico into this you are fucking around with the wrong people, are we savages? no....how dare you envision my people like that. fucken faggot, you make french people look bad.....

[thelordnazgul76]

He is just a stupid and useless try to make a comedy . . . Epic fail !

[drak1212]

Epic fail

[cacaaleau]

he's not french and totally unknown here (in FRANCE)...

[PChord1]

ΥΑWΝ!!.....pathetic attempt at humour...

[titi55100]

it is suposed to be funny ? it's hard to watch up to the end it's boring .... In France we are not obsesed by the American way of life, we just try to stay alive..... What is so chocking about the French attitude ?

[Oretii]

Funny! But I don't think this guy is really French. Accent is a bit off.... A decent attempt, though!

[hajones10]

haha nobody drinks mr pibb

[hipeter924]

Hate to break it to Simon Beauregard but everyone lives like Americans now. French bitch because they want to be American but French are surrender monkeys. To finish off if France is so superior why are they abandoning their language for English? :P

[vachespagnole]

this isnt funny, it's just dumb.  Your fake accent sucks. Try something else yank.

[lakoweb]

Ahah that was good!

Hey guys, stop struggling like kids. Easy, this is just about fun. Whatever the recent desagreements, France and America still are like brothers.

[jowns0]

Is it, or is one most english/Japnese?

[jowns0]

Simon Beauregard, not a very french name.

[mst3kbitches]

HA HA HA HA! You dumb FUCK! It's one the MOST French names! WHY DON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF NOW AND SO YOU DON'T WASTE ANYMORE RESOURCES THAT COULD GO TO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T DUMBER THAN SHIT!

[OrElseEllipsis]

jacobdekid, you, sir, are fucking retarded.

[Sadier888]

I love my country and there is good reason to be proud to be French! We care about our people and their wellbeing...

[DRdisaster007]

lol funny

[EscoIceSk8]

what a bad imitation.

[Quentin77170]

^^ I love people like you :) you should read more, France has won MUCH more wars than the count of wars the US were only involved in... You have never been attacked on your own ground, so it's easy to you to tell bullshit about France :)

[madlyhigh]

then again, France is a much older country.. . .

[MaxRWF]

That guy is not even French, he's American, you fucking retard. And get some humour.

[PsytranceMan777]

How about you try to stop judging countries on how they fare at wars, and ignore whatever he says that you don't like?

[phantomspellchecker]

The French have won more wars than America has even fought in.

[Renegade30130]

Indeed, and France has financed US independance from United Kingdom...

Lafayette was sent to US in order to help them.

[SpreadtheDolphins]

@phantomspellchecker France has also been a nation for a few years longer than the USA....

[tisoy909]

@phantomspellchecker Then perhaps they should win the war of sewage control in their streets.

[phantomspellchecker]

@tisoy909 Why are you replying to something I wrote a year ago? Fuck off troll.

[tisoy909]

@tisoy909 Haha, Fuck you kid, and get ur mother off of my penis, im gonna bust it, n she might like it!

[tsaketh]

@phantomspellchecker

lol, okay, sure XD

[Skeletonwitharaygun]

@phantomspellchecker

Is being in more wars really something to brag about?

[trixera99]

That jerk is not French !!

[kartman13]

I don't want my food is less than 5 minuets. I want in less than 30 seconds!

It's called fast food for a reason!

[mandude1988]

The incas are from south america, specifically Peru, not Mexico. Fucker!

[Malikariche]

The guy is not even French!!

[warpath1488]

Well while I disagree with what he said, I"ll defend till the death his right to say it. SO in that respect I hope he can take this:

1. Pointing out the flaws of the US is hardly insult comedy it's just facts.

2. Mexico and Canada? Did you know that they aren't apart of this country.

If you want to insult the US go lower then fat asses and fast food. Look at our President.... People think he's a God and cry and shake when they see him but what has he done... Nothing but talk/lies.

[Occiden89]

I'm french and i hate this guy he is so gay

[MAMeingast]

Damn this is boring...

[ubloom3]

he doesnt bring up armys because he knows FRENCH soldiers carry little WHITE FLAGS in there back packs for when they give up WHICH THEY ALWAYS DO!!!! AMERICA OWNS BITCHES\

[OutNorthrend]

Jerry de l'accent

[bokhighschool]

don't call me honey white power white power white power

[coolpaperstuff]

are u guy retarded that guy hates americans the french can suck my dick and lick my balls america fuck ya!!

[frenchy4001]

that was hilarious

[Raurex]

LOL n'est-ce pas? I love the french, french-american love 100%

[DOA7ISHIKAWA]

Eh bien, fussé je un américain, j'aimerais également la France énormément^^

[BastionBella]

Holy crap, Matt, this is HILARIOUS.

[gal5131]

Oh, our fashon is better. Our parfumes are better. our fucking is better. our cheesess are better. I am french so i am better. we we we . we are better. our fooods are better. our wines are better. our rudeness is better. our high heels are higher. our butts are bigger. we have clothings too and our clothings are much better because we are french oui oui oui all our french things are better than anyone elses better things. our dicks are better. our roses smell more rosey. because we are french.

[zacnaj]

dat was so funny

i luv da fake accent i would luv to see joe jonas do dis accent

it'd be so worth wathcing

[phunk0]

This fake french accent hurt my ears.

[podunkest]

That cheeseburger looked fucking good.

[Danetochoco]

I am french 'n this guy is not. i disagree with what he's saying about Quebec: it's part in our very rich culture and history while the ''quebecois'' also greatly value their french ties, heritage, language and history. We, french people, make fun of their accent, we laugh so loud at Celine Dion even though she's very popular in France. And we do make fun of americans too :) :)

[dalebsorry]

@Danteocho: I will never forgive Quebec for Celine Dion. After watching her cover AC/DC's "you shook me all night long" I wanted to lie in the fetal position and cry. There is no god!

[Danetochoco]

LMAO! "they read....they read... whatever book the fat woman (Oprah) tell them to read" (2:38)

[aacrgsfg45]

fuck the french

[Wotanraven]

I'm french... Simon Beauregard... doesn't exist. never heard of him. Probably an american who doesn't know how to fake a french accent.

By the way, the majority of the french love Quebecois.. as a frenchman, i say hail Québec!

[cstviz]

@Wotanraven he isnt really french. hes an american comedian named matt ruby making fun of the french making fun of us. hes quite clever imho

[joeyjoblueyes]

lol thanks for the insult...but its funny..is there fast food in franch?one is for sure french politic's = narrow minded people.oh there no weapon oh no,when more then 6 other country agree that there was weapon there,there no time to wounder.and now they say it is'nt a good ideal,i'm sure they would just leave and let iran and other people take over yeah i think thats a bad ideal.

[akaNadik]

Iraq did have WMD , how do i know reagan was the one he gave them to saddam

[NonsensicalHandle]

I must concede, the KFC "Bowl 'O Death" is pretty much an abomination unto mankind and every living and non living entity in the universe... but I'll be damned if it isn't good. (The deep-fried machine gun is especially scrumptious.)

[bokhighschool]

so true man americans think they are so smart but acuatally they are dumb as a brike

[NonsensicalHandle]

I think you were going for "brick" there, honey. A for effort anyway! ^_^

[akaNadik]

LOL

[kyokushinfighter78]

You can't rely French to do anything, their favorite words are 'ce n'est pas possible' and 'non'... otherwise they will ask you a bunch of irrelevant papers and 'DOSSIERS' to fill, and everything will be done in 3 -6 months, if they do it anyway....most of the time you have to push these lazy people to work.

Je vis pour 2 années là. l'expérience la plus horrible de ma vie....

[kyokushinfighter78]

French are smelly, lazy, very bureucratic and stupid..

They can't speak English and do not believe that any language other than français is exist. They don't even understand simplest english like 'water' means. What a backward people...

[Thefface]

english is the language od the devil, you backward people, your the one who are being racist to your own makers, self-contradicting idiot.

[kyokushinfighter78]

WHAT ??

I don't understand a single word.. Learn English or juste parlez français, you idiot!!

[Thefface]

haha, well then forget it, and you better calm down, you are starting to get exited and I can smell it all the way from here.

[willouuuuu]

HAHAHA SO FUNNY FRENCH ACCENT

i'm french though ^^

[Thefface]

everything is so true~!

[joeyjoblueyes]

what is??

[Thefface]

most of the things he portrayed in the vid :S

[joeyjoblueyes]

well if its funny thats cool but i'm american i dont do any of those things but then again i'm italian-american who know what those texas boys do lol

[Thefface]

well its funny because the guy exagerates :P

[joeyjoblueyes]

yeah thats true :-)

[akaNadik]

mexican americans don't either , maybe those republicans do , republicans are a bunch of crusty , pasty ass , hating , boy lovers that smell like uncooked hot dogs and mayo

[texasgringooo]

@akaNadik

democrats are a bunch of child raping, felons who shoot up schools, and spread around HIV to everyone, also they are racists and were the party defending slavery and were the party who kept blacks oppressed after slavery was abolished.

[akaNadik]

@texasgringooo

you got your history wrong, before the democrats changed their position they were the republican party that supported slavery. all the rest of the stuff you are saying is false too, so please stop being the typical republican and stop lying ,

[SpreadtheDolphins]

@texasgringooo I'm a Republican and an officer of my school's College Republicans chapter, but come on! I do hope you are just a troll who has nothing better to do than try and get a rise out of people.

[ManofManyPasswords]

@texasgringooo I agree. I wasn't into politics until 2-3 years ago, then I really started getting into it and what I found out was that I am a republican. Democrats/Liberals are enablers, they enable the lazy to continue living in that fashion by blaming white people for their failures and such.

[NewColdness]

Heh. Hey, I wear cargo shorts to carry around my Red Bull and vodka! I never know when I might need to pull out my Burger King cup and mix up a Guido cocktail in the middle of the day. I can't keep that stuff in my tank! There's no room, what with all the guns and grenades and anti-personnel shells I have in there.

[caldhelen]

OK, you've gone a little too far. Just for that I am not coming to France.

[Thefface]

good, we don't want you in our country where you will just talk loudly and make fun of us, stay in your cavehole.

[MAINEACME]

Comedian??? Maybe in his own mind... could only make it through 2:27... painfully unfunny... this guy sux

[thisdayjustbelongedt]

plus everything is wrong. breast milk? cancun for an authentic mexican experience? harry potter an american book? he really needs to do some research next time

[Thefface]

hahahaha it is because harry potter is the only book americans like XD

[fekuz1]

this isn't that funny but it is all so true!

[thisdayjustbelongedt]

this isnt even funny. this guy should be grateful that we saved his ass from the nazis

[geneva321]

Um, it was funny.

It's just reflecting on how we eat to much fast food. We do have some of the biggest people in the world XD

Woop France!

[thisdayjustbelongedt]

we do eat too much fast food but it wasnt even funny. the thing about the bowl with guns and gernades and daggers in it was retarded so was the breast milk thing. the breast milk think doesnt even make sense. he could hav made it funny but it was stupid. harry potter is an BRITISH book retard. and who ever said that we go to cancun for "authentic mexican experience?" we go there to party and get laid and have fun. all of these things r just stupid

[geneva321]

Hmm.....

maybe I should have watched all of it XD

[Thefface]

haha it was hilarious my angry friend, its jsut the french way for getting back at the american media for ocnstantly spreading lies about the french people.

[FightingIllini6]

im not angry i just think it wasnt at all funny. he could hav made it a lot funnier

[Thefface]

he's doing his best

[irOckq]

lmao i loved it

[didlay]

lol : beauregard le nom typique pour faire croire qu'on est francais

il n'est pas francais

il n'a pas le bon accent

il est trop nationaliste

il est pas crédible

il dit même pas au revoir comme un francais

[ypleuh]

I don't understand very well what he says but I can assure you something: This guy is NOT French! His false accent isn't very good.

[javeljaveljavel]

It's funny as hell anyway

[angrywinds]

Why the fuck are the French talking? They fucking eat snails!