Ross Noble

[41BobDylan]

I'm sorry but how is this funny?

[TheInnocentPossumGuy]

Fucking hilarious. His only flaw is that if there truly was meat on his face, he would have two hands free not one. Because of this fact, he will be able to hold the meat up with the string, and wipe with the other hand, saving you money on buying a hook to tie the string too. Think about it...

[Birdy0wnage]

this guy is a legend

[KannibalKorpz666]

Sorry did I miss something? Why do we need to have meat on our face? XD

[robbiemelon]

He is the highest order in meat based humour!

[sadboyinhell619]

this isnt funny at all, i didnt laugh or be amused at all, this is a terrible subject. and anyway how would you come onto this subject its so random and stupid

[LegendKillz000]

@sadboyinhell619 That's how Ross Noble's magic works. He goes off subject, and then goes off THAT subject, and so on, until he actually realises that he's off subject, and just goes "Ah, fuck it" and continues to talk about meat on your face. Now, if you don't realise that comedians work differently, and you think they should all be like Russel Howard, or something (all respect to him, he is also a genius in my eyes), then the comedy world would be boring...

[Sykotix1]

@sadboyinhell619

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Don't know why, but I just don't find this guy funny at all. And there's not a lot of comedy that I don't like. Except maybe Mighty Boosh. That one went totally over my head. People trying hard to be random just doesn't make me laugh.

[xapthania]

The most effective way to ward off amorous vegetarians I have come across yet.

[nolsmtm]

insightful....

[mentalguitarisist]

SO happy that he did this live in York yesterday

[SVTBloging]

not funny.

too long.

[sjrickard2008]

How the hell does he make this stuff funny??!!LOL Meat hinges...crazy

[julu92]

Maybe this is what inspired Lady Gaga

[metallicarulekieron]

Rofl.. Made something so insignificant so hillariously real. : ))

[oyeman]

Oh, what should I do today? I don't know, but the meat is in the upright position... I might down to the Bank of England. WHY NOT?

[DeathSlayer2]

Try to quote some of Ross Noble's comedy to a friend that hasn't seen him and you sound like a moron lol

[MadTheCow]

I actually cried with laughter the first time I saw this :D

[dutchycooper]

Iv actually seen ross do this with a real meat flap that my friend made for him, it was on the 'Things' tour when he was in york.

[2000Maedchen]

thats just brilliant! =D

[adstays]

damn you, you meat bastard hahahaha

[katyaeb]

saw him a few years ago.

was crying with laughter.

awesome duude. (:

x

[XVampirettes]

So funny! I saw this and was like laughing so hard! Rofl!! XD

[Stu411]

Saw this on tv and laughed.. HARD haha awesome guy

[PipeDreamChaser]

Going to see him tomorrow :D

[guitarhero1here]

My fav ross noble bit, lol.

[tiggerbop09]

love it :D:D and to think he came from crammie as well :P

[guitarwizard9494]

Noble for priminister

[HoldFire100]

I love the fact thah out of nowhere he pulled haf a an hour of comedy about glueing meat to your face.

fucking brilliant.

[skinjoe]

yeh he is very funny, but its not out of nowhere, the meat on the face is his act, ya hardly thought he came up with all that on the fly, hahaha

[HoldFire100]

nah i meant the way he brings it into his act mate.

[5pa55]

Me and my friend walked around pretending to be like this in town.

[tonycologne]

What the fu*k is he talking about

[NeonDeadGirl]

meat hinges.. are you daft?

lol

[kerry399]

very funny

[wadick1]

Wow, probably one of my favorite Ross Noble moments! I love that he can stay on one topic for about 8 minutes and it's all hilarious!!! "As you reach to wipe it's gonna..."*meat flap falls*

[madleogirl]

Am proud to come from crammy!!!

[GrrHead]

Saw this on t.v and never laughed so much in my life

He's amazing x

[ptay13]

wat a meat hindge!!! world class

[Rabies2go]

Lol itz amazing how long he can talk about halarious meat flaps

[guitardouche]

I tried the meat on the face idea and it worked. It kept away the vegans away but I got egged 4 times withen 20 minutes

[kjo78]

he was sayin his act is like gluing meat to his face,a bit mental!

[bob7frank]

bahahaha!!!! hilarious!!!!! that was flippin funny!

does anyone know why he had a piece of meat on his head in the first place?

[DontDoRomance]

he was on about 'keeping amorous vegans away'

lol

funny as...

[cheekeymonkey]

i get to see him tomorrow night! so excited

[wakkam1]

Very funny:-)

[Xander2k]

meat on the face because at the beginning (cut off) he says "nice to meet you"

[mrgoding]

Now that would have made more sense to me if I'd had known that...thank you!

[AceOwn]

Its to ward off an angry vegan!

you have to watch the other videos of him at the appollo to understand the meat hinges.

[mrgoding]

Why would one put meat on their face??????

hmmmm

i don't get it

[maxc123]

i take it you american then??? the reason u dont find it funny is prob cos no ones shouting whoop!you american twat

[mrgoding]

Um...no you ass...I didn't watch the whole thing before this clip as it is just a "clip" so I wasn't sure what he was poking fun at! I didn't say it wasn't funny, I just stated that I didn't get it! And, next time you want to make a point and be mean doing it, learn to spell and speak properly so it doesn't come off making You look bad!

[SeanNinetyOne]

The USA and the UK have different senses of humour, its no big deal.

[labelmecrazy14x]

yeah. he says "the-um" way too many times.

[MemoryOfGravy]

that tends to happen if you're not reading from a memorised script. i'd like to see you come up with something this funny on stage just right off the top of your head.

[labelmecrazy14x]

god, man.

get over it.

i was only pointing out the obvious.

[silkvein]

It's sounds like you're a bit more upset about this than he is.

Sounds like YOU need to get over it.

Laugh a bit.... You might like it.

[silkvein]

It's sounds like you're a bit more upset about this than he is.

Sounds like YOU need to get over it.

Laugh a bit.... You might like it.

[labelmecrazy14x]

for heavens sake.

i was having a laugh!

[Projectrez]

I agree its halerious when ur stoned but love it anyway

[Batg1rl23]

lolmo xD

[slashdudeman]

I think he is soo funny! I've been 2 see him a few times nd he is soo fuckin funny!!!

[JoshTheNinja19]

very random, very shit!

[Andy1008]

¿?

[Andy1008]

One of the best comedians out there!

[tishtosh]

How can he go on about such a retarded thing for so long?? It's awesome!!!

How cool would it be to be able to go on and on and on about random things... ^^

[spacecowboy22]

its a talent aint it, he's a "talker" he could talk about a kettle for hours, and involve some random way to use it. lol class act in my book. which reminds me, i must take it back to the library, where i shall find a wilted librarian still watching the arms on her wrist watch tick by as i stroll in 3 years late...

[smeegheed]

he isnt funny...

[StretchyPants01]

who do you like>?

[pfalconer]

I like him on the whole - but I agree, anything with that amount of improv involved is always going to be hit and miss.

What is it with these "Thumbs Down" things you get when you say anything less than 100% positive about a video? Childish...

[FRAT99Po]

Very true smeegheed!

[leestoves]

cock

[FRAT99Po]

Very true!

[Projectrez]

the apollo show is on the sonic waffle dvd

[indigostar12]

i luuuuurve ross noble!! i went to see him last night in brighton 'custitus girls!!' class xx

[mwalshy666]

He is awesome just has a short attention span and it shows alot. as for slagging off communists, wot is wrong with that i dont see how capitalism is better???!!!

Meat on the face awesome. you only get the jokes if you7 are as mental a ross noble i often try to read things and then just think about monkeys instead

[mwahaha666888]

Can You Get Him At The Apollo On Dvd??

He's Really Funny And I Have All His Other Dvds, Ive Even PreOrdered Fizzy Logic :) xxx

[babydoll168]

Very classy, willcoolhello, dismissing somebody's obvious talent because they are "ugly" and "spastic faced". I'm just curious, do you actually have a life? Or is it mainly hurling abuse at Ross Noble's videos and his happy fans for you? Quite clearly it is you who should be covered in dog shit and set on fire.

Just fuck off.

[willcoolhello]

Tricky478...got to tell you it's a bit 1980s to hope people get AIDS...probs more up to date to hope they get stabbed by an immigrant...just a tip for the future. And speaking of sex, have you actually 'done it'? And you can't count the time you let that stray dog lick your knackers, that doesn't count.

[toastface5]

OMFG, this is soo funny, I was laughing soo hard, I cried!!!!! HAIL ROSS NOBLE, HE'S THE BEST!!!

[destroyrockandroll23]

its a matter of taste really. i think he's well funny, but i can understand why others dont. tho you cant really say hes the "shittest comedian of all time"

[Shoelia]

I hate to think what you think is funny if you think he's not. He's hysterical. YOu kind of have to understand what he's talking about though. THe beginning of this clip is sort of half way through so you lose half the joke.

Having seen him live it's definently something that you need to follow to understand some of his rants.

I love him personally. Genius.

xx

[666Piratica666]

randomist comedians are the funnist HAIL ROSS NOBLE!

[maff07]

Yeah, people definetly laugh at him because they think its fashionable... you simple dick head!

[thief316]

willcoolhello u communist cunt bugga off u batshit fukwank

[willcoolhello]

What an unfunny twat...how can you people think THIS is funny? He is an ugly spastic faced fuckwit who people only laugh at cos they think its fashionable...what a complete cunt, he should be covered in dog shit + set on fire.

[Tricky478]

you've commented on every noble video I've found. Seriosuly, fuck off you cunt. Who does that. I hope you gets aids and die, although that would involve you having sex of some kind and that's never gonna happen.

[EnvyWrathAngelX]

You make me laugh not only at your appalling language and need to curse at someone you've never met, but also because your ignorance should be set in stone, so people can laugh at you for many years to come.

Seriously, you're probably some internet freak that looks twice as bad as he does and is in serious need of a reality check.

As for the last bit... why don't you go and do that to yourself? We'd all be a lot happier.

On another note, I really enjoyed this. =]

[p777gh2]

a real comedian, absolutely fantastic!

[jazzamophone]

that last guy clearly has no taste in comedy. I friggin' love ross noble. I saw him live for fizzy logic

[thebeeracademy]

Shittist comedian of all time! by far!

[SolidRevilver]

All comedians come up with un-written jokes while live. But usually they are mostly using Written jokes. Ross Noble is different as he is mostly unwritten stuff but has one or two written gags that he uses as a guide.

[cooldollie]

LOL LOL LOL!!!!!! When I watched this video i laughed so hard tears were running down my face!

Be sure to go to xpango and get credits for free stuff like the new Apple Iphone and Nintendo Wii!

Just use the reference no. 90611010. Enjoy!

[twizzr]

no! use reference no. 90777633

[sauce90]

fuck off whoever said it's scripted, go and see him and maybe you'll understand...

so you reckon he organises the whole crowd and what they shout out? get real.

[maca12345678]

It's all scripted, just like all the other stand up comedians.

[leginn]

if you honestly believe its all scripted you are really stupid.

[SuggestionBoy]

noble is scripted to a point but he just makes up the order in which he delivers the set peices. He is awesome though !

[sozishere]

"not the most liniar show your likley to see"

if you can't apreaciate REAL stand-up, as supposed to scripted stuff that many come out with, then get out !

[cfarnelli]

he'd have made a great engineer. but he's doing a grand job there.

[023191]

what the dick is he talking about?

[Strawberryskyz]

wasnt he in monkey a character called sandy???

[drunkship12]

Genius

[Yeeeahshorty]

Lmao, this is my favourite Ross Noble sketch... thing. I love how he makes something up and just keeps going with it.

[Drakangard]

Ross noble is a god, theres  no one like him

[jonnyoverlord]

WaTCh oUr pIg bOy cLIp

[harrikki]

the end is sooooooooo funny

[lameplanet]

It's a shame it starts in mid gag with no context.

[melman]

Does Ross Noble ever have context?

[quantomintomentum]

Haha there's never much of a context to work with in the first place with Ross Noble.

[myloisalegend]

thats like one of the funniest things ever!!

[Godbe06]

This is the show that introduced me to Ross Noble.

I can't wait to see him in November now :D

[Bigoldcarfreshener]

not sure if anyone has noticed, but has anyone noticed how many times, in any performance, he says "The erm..." and then continues

[OurDearMoshe]

Well he is most of the time coming up with this stuff off the spot...

[hallch4]

Lee Evans is Wayyyy better like!

[emmalowe1982]

Sooooooooooo funny actually made me cry with laughter!!!

[olymps24]

wtf? meat?

[foztheman]

gdgd

[JamesLinehan]

I really wanna be able to find him funny... but I can't at all! I don't even smile at it...

[laurakinsella]

james he is talking about glueing meat to his face

[JamesLinehan]

I know lol, and it really should be funny! But I can't find him funny... he just goes on and on and on about the same things, I mean he went on for ages about the muffins.

He's performing at Bristol on my Birthday so I wanna find him funny by then =P

[laurakinsella]

hi james

have you watched post offices & sexy talk, or ross noble on monkeys there both realy good

[JamesLinehan]

I'll watch it now matey, thanks! =)

(Just watched it and the monkey one is well funny! lol! Thanks soooo much Laura!)

[laurakinsella]

hi james

i know monkey lovin funny

[countbackwordsfrom10]

hahahaa

[labello540]

i cry with laughter everytime i watch this video...so damn funny..

[woodsie001]

u gotta love ross noble!!!

[Superhans44]

Genious!!!!

[mouseamillion]

greatest comedian ever!!

[Krista123]

join the ross noble army....

[bloodnokian]

Dick.

[petro1986]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HA, I was crying with laughter..

[xDickyBirdx]

i watched this ages ago and cant remember why the hell he was goin on about meat hinges in the 1st place?! can someone reply if ya kno please?! lol

quality guy!!

[angelofmoosic]

watch the ross noble clip thats 2:49 secs long, it makes a bit more sense then =]

[raz555]

It was something to do with scaring vegans

[blahdeblah87]

Ross Noble is the latest comedian to rock my world! Can't believe I'd never watched his stuff till the other night!

[muckle89]

makes ya proud to be a geordie

[danbrock07]

Why aye man!!!

[CancunBabe]

He should rule the world

Lmao

[jaketurner1990]

that was fuckin hilllarious loool i saw that on pararamount and i came in half way throuhg, i was like :S but now ive seen it all im in histerics!!!

[ILLALLU]

I remember seeing that on Paramount Comedy last year. Fucking hilarious stuff!! :D

[devane92]

Oh I remember watching that when it was on the telly. I couldn't actually breathe through most of it XD

[xcrazytitchx]

actuli in hysterics xxxxxx

[metalupyourassface]

that is the single most funny thing i have ever seen and that man is a genius. you have to be retarded not to think that was funny

[rachrulestheworldium]

he is fantastic. . . remember kids, to ward off amorous vegans you must glue meat to your face!!!

[Jamesnutt1988]

Saw him on tour, was hillarious when i saw his DVD's, even better live... 2 and a bit hours of laughter...

[Jennythespam]

He is just completely brilliant, unexplainably random and brilliant.

[jmkingsbury]

Can't wait to see this man on tour!

[servo386]

I feel like I am in the twilight zone, everyone talking about how knee-slapingly hilarious this is when its probably one of the dumbest, least funny things ive ever seen. I swear I'd probably laugh at Rip Taylor or Emo Philips before this man made me laugh.

[Ilyssia]

omg, he really is completely insane. lmao.

[fhkfhdshsf]

LMAO

[sirius711]

random genius!

[IStalkConverse]

Oh God, I can't get over how FUNNY Ross Noble is.

[kfk8e]

"Oh what shall I do today? Oh I don't know, but the meat is in the upright position" LMFAO

[beccid16]

i saw all of that on tv its awsome, he just went ona nd on aboot ,eat flaps and my mum walked in and was liek wtf? hahah genius!

[thtc]

I love the meat hinge joke

[santosrules]

man, this guy is funny. he can get you imagining the most absurd things, and he just goes on talking about it. i think he is super.

[JedExodus]

my god i love this bit!!

[moggydave]

Yeh. The comedy is in how his mind is so surreal and how he is able to develop the simplest of concepts into something so wierd. On HIGNFY he is hilarious and does similar things (the Lulu thing with Paul Merton and Ian Mckellen was sooooo funny) and he does similar things on Just A Minute- developing a dull and simple concept into something very surreal. He's one of the few stand up comics I'd actually like to meet.

[youbecame]

Its great...IN CONTEXT.

I should think you would have laughed more if you got everythign that preceeded this gag :)

[buttpipe7]

This sketch, the mean on the face sketch, is the reason I love Ross Noble. When I saw this, I fell in love...

[MulloRockz]

He can be hilarious, but this whole joke was terrible IMO. Didn't laugh one at it.

[JustinDejong]

Didn't Crack a Smile once o_o

It's not funny at all... what's the joke? Glueing meat to your face? How is that funny...

[leoleoleoleo]

glad to know i'm not the only one who finds this guy unfunny.

[Kreld]

you dont get it coz your mind is wafer thin

[Kewen]

JustinDejong, I'm glad people don't get Ross Noble's humour... cos then I can laugh at them, too :P

[sangel222]

lol i love this guy hes so damn funny, anyone who doesn't find him funny needs help!!

[sangel222]

THATS THE JOKE, its so random and ridiculous, yet AGH you know what...your clearly so narrow minded that you don't get his comedy so i'm not gonna sit here and explain it to you...

[dougster84]

are you american? ill bet you are

[megaman2000]

well think about it...GLUEING MEAT TO YOUR FACE the idoticness of that is funny

[mattdot666]

because we can all speak dutch, lol

[Piasmaffia]

That's funny, but Hans Teeuwen from The Netherlands is better. Although.. not if you can't speak Dutch ofcourse.

[bianca28mcr]

i saw this on telly about a year ago and forgot about it, but now ive seen it again its soo funny!

[kimbo72]

I remember when I first saw this on tv.. I was crying my eyes out with laughter. Then I saw it again on a plane and laughed a lot, I think I woke some people up!

[chelsealovesorly]

that happens to me i am not allowed to watch him at night because i wake up the whole house so i ave 2 tape it and watch it in the day!!!! He is the funniest bloke ever!!!

[CandyJay259]

F**king best stand up ever!! :P Loving it! Nice meaty treat!