Added: 1 year ago
From: PsycoDirector
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  • I like the way he says "selecting". And you'd think people would care more about loose pterodactyls that can easily fly off the island.

  • This reminded me of the uncharted games 0_o

  • I'm Batmaaaan... xD

  • has a large olfactory sense, it easily could track the blood of it's infant, thinking it was in danger again, also Ian didn't hate john Hammond, Before he commented on how Ludlow tried to be like his uncle and when Ludlow was explaining his reasons for taking the dinosaurs off the island and the good for all man excuse Ian said he tried to sound like Hammond but failed, but that he would be there when Ludlow became Hammond (the creator of a huge crime against nature fuck up- which he did)

  • that would be a bad idea, Roland (Pete P.) wants to bag a t-rex as a trophy- he represents that hunter aspect of man that wants to show his dominance over all life by killing a creature (a creature that was extinct until recently i might add) for no more than for a thrill and to prove he's a man. the dinosaurs are not evil they just follow natures command, the guys did not shoot them becasue they were taking a child (granted an animal child) back to its parents. also sarah explains the t-rex

  • just to clear some stuff up here the NC doesn't realize, Hammond wanted the dinosaurs to be free and left alone on the island, to be free of human tampering which he learned from the last movie, life cannot and should not be controlled, but too make his case he needed evidence that these are not monsters but animals. Ludlow (the cousin) saw the dinosaur's as merchandise, and wanted to rip them from their ecosystem to put into his zoos, but becasue these are giant lizards some tall as buildings.

  • Massive ancient predator killing people and destroying the city?

    Mabye the army would do a good job to help stop it mabye?

  • these creautres require our abcense rather than our help...although a full photo record would be nice

  • HEY YOU!!

    Yeeeeeeessssss XD

  • Lmao this guy is funny

  • Well later bitch i'm batmannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...­.......

  • haha how funny he said Peter Stormare's XD

  • what's with the stupid buddah statue??? take it out!

  • good review but you should have mention something about the fact that some of the dinosaurs can fly and are known to migrate

  • Is it just me or does Critic sound a bit like Doofinshmurps from Phineas and Ferb?

  • 8:37 the best part!

  • When I watch JP #1 I remember every scene. In JP #2 and #3 (even tho I have seen them both several times) I can hardly remember them... the only memorable part is when the girl uses gymnastics to kick the raptor and only because it is so mindblowingly horrible.

  • This sucked so hard and was a huge letdown. They didn't even have babes like Lexy in the second one. Nothing but dudes and dumbass shit in the second one. Still it plays constantly on the fucking cable. Honestly though screw this shit. I don't care how much of a sci-fi fan I am; I have to admit when something blows and this does except for the special effects.

  • Hey You! Mmmnyyeeesss?

  • Thumbs up for Weird Al's "Jurassic Park" at 7:37

  • 8:35 THAT PART WAS AWESOME! That was the only time a human actually kills a dinosaur in the entire trilogy.

  • u wanna see arnold critic then watch batman and robin remember the bat credit card write back

  • So I've always wondered this...but how did the T-Rex get into all those tight corridors in the ship? I mean unless he is some kind of snake that can slither through the ship there is no way he could have killed all the crew

  • @panzertiger2000 I got the theory that raptors or that poison spitting dinosaur snuck aboard... as to why thats not there I have no clue, but it seems plausible

  • @RatedAR100 That would make sense...if only they had shown any smaller dinosaurs on the boat ...stupid movie

  • @panzertiger2000 Good point, but its not that bad of a movie

  • @panzertiger2000 LOL What was supposed to happen waas Raptors snuck aboard the boat, killed the crew, then they went into the hold where the Rex ate them. The scene was never filmed though. That would've been cool!

  • @JurassicJeremyJames Now that would have been pretty awesome

  • bahahahahahahaha

  • 7:34 You're stranded on a remote island surrounded by dinosaurs with little-to-no chance of escape, bot all you're thinking about is...

    DUCKTALES! WHOO-HOO!

  • that was the awesomest "WELL DUH!" ever

  • "But you NEVER keep your word!"

    "Well you have a point. Later bitch, I'm Batmaaaaaaaaaaan"

  • NOOOOO!!! NOT BOOMER!!

  • from what movie is the "Do something "Scene

  • @neomechaleon

    the movie is "spaceballs"

    its a star wars parody

  • @BestBuddyAlex95

    thanks dude

  • Sweet jesus. An animaniacs song made the arnold staring in King Lear joke. watch?v=egpWCC2svVo at around 2:25

  • The best part of this movie was the T-Rex in San Diego esp when he ate boomer.. i died laughing.

  • DuckTa.. OH FUCK

  • I thought the movie sucked compared to the first one too, but do you really think Arnold's movies are more realistic ? LOL !!! Yeah, Commando and Terminator were based on true stories werent they ? No flaws in any of Arnold's films !! AHAHAHA !!

  • ' His eyesight is based on movement but now he operates on smell ' LOL !!

    Let me enlighten you here ... He has eyes AND a nose ... He uses both as do many other animals ahaha. Grant and the kids werent covered in blood in the first movie were they ? They were covered in mud that would almost completely mask their own personal scent that T-Rex wouldnt pick up in the first place. Hes attracted to blood. What do you expect from an action/adventure blockbuster movie about giant dinosaurs anyway ?

  • Jed my brother is going to love it same with my cousins Noah and Charlie!!!

    :) :) and it cost's $ 2 buy it :(  why can't it be free:( :(

  • well whatever bitch im batman !!

  • ''Don't move, their eyesight's based on who's expendable!''

  • Julianne Moore when she was hot.

  • How do you not mention the part of the rampage in San Diego where the T-rex chases the Asian dudes and it's like Godzilla? That was hilarious.

  • the one part i liked the most was to see raptors eat people.

  • Schwarzenegger as King Lear??? Hey, the Animaniacs said that once in a song!!! ("Variety Speak," seriously!) Must be a Steven Spielberg inside joke?

  • Lmao "hey you!" kick (goofy scream) lmao

  • John Hammond is loathsome - he ought to be fed to the dinos: slowly

  • Watching dinos eating makes me hungry

  • looking on the bright side, my old city had a T-rex :3

  • Holy shit I laughed my ass off at 6:03. hahahahahahaha

  • 0:31 I'm Batmaaaaaaaaaaan

  • 03:04 No wonder they don't, look at how the rope BEHAVES.

    If you want something with at least slightly better decency read the Crichton novel(which Critic didn't bother mentioning). Sure, it has plenty of padding science talk to add to the length and Malcolm is back because he was the author's favorite but it's story is better in a constrained sense let alone respects the laws of physics in how it handles the trailer attack. That, and it's characters aren't as idiotic. Plus Carnotaurus.

  • "Hey you!"

    "Yeeeeees?"

    (kicks raptor out of window)

    "Yaaaaa-hooweee!"

    Gut busting laughter there!

  • no not boomer!!!no

  • i love the impression bit!

    

  • Look at the bright side!

    It's better than Jurassic Park 3!

  • I want to see King Lear starring Arnold Schwarzenegger

  • To be honest, and I've said this before many times, if neither teams never actually went to the island, nobody would've gotten killed. There is no need for absolutionism here, dinosaurs and humans can co-exist peacefully - though only if separated by an enormous mass of water. For some reason I like this film more than the third one, though I do agree with all the flaws displayed here -.-

  • Pff Pathetic

  • this film was better than the first in termsof action. but first had better story.

  • This is what happens when "Animal rights" is taken to far. Don't save the dinosaurs, THEY WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ACME makes windows now?

  • I could never understand why they didn't answer the phone when Goldbloom was calling. I mean where the fuck do they think they are? A phone that only a handful of people could possibly be able to call is ringing and you fuckers choose not to answer it.

  • Comment removed

  • Jeff Goldblum 101

  • I am a poopy pants

  • Well, the first Jurassic Park wasn't too good either because Spielberg forgot to incorporate more dinosaurs into the movie than there were in the novel. First of all, in the movie there were only three raptors; in the book there were like over two dozen raptors! And also there was only one T-Rex in the movie and the book had two Rexes! Jurassic Park also had a fucking hotel in the book! How come in the movie the only major building is the Visitor's Center? Where's the Ritz Jurassic Park?

  • Am I the only one who finds this review humourous?

  • come on critic, yes, this film wasn't as great as the last one, but I still enjoyed it for what it was.

    now if you want a bad Jurassic Park film, the third film is the way to go.

  • @Volts48 The third film was bad, but The Nostalgia Critic brought out some pretty good points as to why this wasn't a good movie.

  • PHILOSORAPTORS!!! RUN BEFORE THEY TEACH YOU THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONGE! *turns head* cleaver girl...

  • this guy commentating is not funny hes trying to hard

  • this guy commentating is not funny

  • damnit i wanted the movie not the biggest faggot douchebag in the entire world commentating on it.fuck. this guy is so fucking annoying shoot me

  • @G0000MBA What did you type in? I mean did you see the 'Nostalgia Critic' part? Did you think that was the alternate name? It has the word critic in it, it's most likely not going to be the actual movie if you see the word critic, this is a review which many people like myself actually enjoy watching. Finding movies on Youtube is silly anyway they are almost always taken down but there are other sites that have it. If that doesn't work then rent the movie! or watch on it on T.V.

  • @StrickenWithFear shut up pussy

  • @G0000MBA Im not the one complaining because I can't find a movie on youtube

  • @G0000MBA

    Simple

    Buy or download the movie

    The power of the movie stores or internet is yours

    *plays imaginary violin for you*

  • @G0000MBA Well if you didn't want to watch the nostalgia critic's take on a movie don't click on something that says nostalgia critic.

  • @G0000MBA so the fact that the title had critic in the title did nothing for you when looking for the movie? Fucking retard.

  • you know a bear actualy works like a t rex, it has shity vision but uses its nose to find you... and ears

  • *CCHK*

    Baby love.. My baby love..

    *CCHK*

    Ducktales! WOO-HOO!!

    *CCHK*

    Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark...

    *CCHK*

  • Boomer will live

  • Boomer! D:

  • 8:46 LOL

  • I love the boat scene!

    I want to see the T-Rex sneaking around the deck eating people from behind without anyone noticing, only to sneak back in the hold and close it.

  • its impaired movement increased the t-rex's smell.

  • Boomer will- ooh... umm...

    We'll get you another boomer.

    ...Got one!

    "BLEEEUGH.... BLUUURRG!"

  • I'm a batt raptor :))

  • Jesus!!  That guy is so annoying!!!! Is he trying to be funny? quit the wierd Al thing!

  • BOOMER WILL ...oh...uhmm...we'll get ya another boomer

    XD 

  • Comment removed

  • Ducktales Who whooo More interesting than the film 7:33

  • i'm batmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aan i just couldn't stop laughing at part.00:31

  • Why Isnt Alan Grant in this movie?

  • i too like the idea of king lear starring arnold shwwanicangor

  • all the parts of jurassic park is my favoret

  • id rather watch Barney than this film

  • The Goldblum impression lessons are so awesome

  • Oh my God Transformers vs Dinosaurs!!

  • What does it tell you about the characters in a movie when the ONLY death you kinda feel bad about is when that pet dog got eaten?

  • @EnigmaDrath People will always feel bad about cats and dogs dying in a film no matter the characterisation and how good the film is. You can kill the main character, his family, 10000 people, a million and people won't feel as bad as in killing a dog or a car or a horse in a film.

  • @brav0wing

    Weird, isn't it? I'm one of those people. No matter how invested I am in a movie I usually just shrug off the death of a human character, but put a dog or whatever animal in a dangerous situation onscreen and I'm sitting there, fingers crossed, praying that nothing bad happens to it XD

  • Comeuppensaurus!!!

  • Do jurrasic park 3

  • The first one was the best one because it was actually rather terrifying. The second one meh not so good and the third one doesn't exist in my eyes

  • LOL @8:42

  • Don't move, their eyesight's based on who's expendable!

  • "-Hey, you!

    -Yeeeeeeeeeees?"

    XD

  • 5:36 - 5:40 LMAO!!! HHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

  • I think "'gymnasticing'/kicking the raptor" should be the new jumping the shark/nuking the fridge! Who's w/ me? XD

  • LOL i love ur commentary hahaha just love love love

  • haha tht raptor with the accent

  • What was the music from the What Have We Become part?

  • @zach633 its from the movie Platoon (1986) with Charlie Sheen and a lot of other good actors.

  • All good points NC, but I love the Lost World.

  • jij bent echt gestoord !

    idioot !

  • While I respect the NC, I still love this movie

  • Hammond: If we leave them, and let nature do what it must, life, will find away

    Goldblum: hey, thats uh uh copy COPYrite

    Hammond: shut up

  • 3:00 that poor mercedes

  • dumb dumb dumbdumbdumbdumb dududumb dudumbdumbdumb this movie was dumb dumb dumb

  • I guess the T-Rexes forgot their dinner

  • What about Jurassic Park 3

  • @TheDeceptabot I don't think the critic wanted to put himself through that hell I own all three but can never bring myself to watch that one

  • is it just me or the critic is extremely republican?

  • DAMMIT VAN VOUGHN!

  • im a bad raptor.....

  • In the original script some Velociraptors were going to get on the boat. That's why the crew were dead. They got rid of this idea but for some reason never explained why the crew was dead.

  • Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World.

    Now THAT'S chaos theory.

  • 10:54 Ya!!! Ironhide could totally take out the t-rex!!! Anyone else agree?

  • this movie could have been shortened to 5 mins

    old guy uh theres a new island with dinosaurs

    jeff ok why you tellin me this

    old guy well you see we need you to get rid of them

    jeff oh *grabs a gun* be back in 5 mins

    now either jeff would have been dino chow or he would kick dino butt either way 2 hours and countless months would not have been wasted watching/creating this movie now i did not see this1and i only saw parts of the 1st but if this review tells me anything its that i dont want to

  • Nooooooooooo not boomer!

  • DUCKTALES!

  • "Hey you!

    "Mmmmyeeess?"

    I laughed so hard I was about to vomit.

  • As a sarcastic critic it works but as a actual movie critic there were some points in the movie that where left open for imagination and could make sense or open for sequels. And the whole point of the movie was to prevent what happens in our average society with zoos. What happens when a tiger gets loose? It eats people it puts people in danger. That's why in the ending of the movie the old man says to leave them be. Funny critic but the movie should have been watched thoroughly and unbias.

  • Would have been nice to mention how the T Rex got out of the boat hold and killed the crew in the small bridge.. What he went through the small hatch or the port hole?

  • Really, there are two reasons why people watch these movies.

    1. They want to see dinosaurs

    2. They want to see people getting eaten by dinosaurs

    NC is being way too harsh here XD

  • Paleontologists also discovered that the part of the T-rex's brain that destinguishes smell makes up for about 59% of its actual brain size and that were also though to being scavengers aswell as predators another evidence of this is if you look at a T-rex's skull it's nasal cavity is large for a sight predator as the Tyrannasaurus Rex. They've also discovered that like the Komodo Dragon they too have a poisonous bite the evidence was that they're teeth had serations where the bacteria grew.

  • As many problems as this movie had....I still get creeped out by the Rex roaming the neighborhood and peering into the kids window.

    That shits the stuff of pure nightmares.

  • "Hey, you!"

    "Yeeeeeees?"

    *goofy holler*

    XDDDD

  • Jeff Goldblum raptor

    what has, uh, science done, huh?

  • "HAY YOUU"!!!!!! WwUuhh??? NINJA KICK!!! YEEAOOHOOHOOWEE!!! hahahahaha

  • YOU GODDAMM TREEHUGGER!!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

  • This trailer is as reliable as a BP pipe

    lol

  • Don't move, they're eyesight is based on whose expendable.

  • Is it me or does the Velociraptor look good in a suit?

  • This review is hilarious, but i disagree with his opinion on this movie completely.

  • Hey you!

    NRUUHHHHH!?

  • 3 people didnt do something

  • 3 people didnt do something

  • later, BITCH!

    I'M BATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAN

    ;D

  • The T-rex didn't eat the crew I believe in the book a couple of raptors got on board the ship and attacked them

  • UGH, HEY NC, they're called Compsagnathus. Jeez, he thinks he knows everything. U know, JP got me interested in knowing the names of these extinct creatures.

  • At the end he should've shown the clip of Jeff going "Now that is on big pile of shit" XD

  • "Boomer will- ohhhh...... we getcha another Boomer"

  • "no don't you remember they can open doors!" *smash* "and that too....."

  • Also: Eyesight based on movement? This one time somebody brings that up in the book Malcolm (or was it Levine? the guy they left out of this movie) immediately calls bullshit on it, saying that the moron who made that up is so stupid, he doesn't even know how to get it on with his wife. Seriously what kind of a dumbass movie is this?

  • Again, the book makes it pretty clear why the T-rexes keep coming back. When they took the baby back to the trailer and it's parents came after it, they expended their hunting grounds. They're defending their territory.

  • If you want a better version of the Lost World...go play the arcade game

  • @NintendoSegaKonami3 YEAH! and dont forget Trespasser. Dont know what it is you say, search for it on youtube. U might find it interesting. Think of it as a digital spin off to this film.

  • I'm surprised that he didn't mention(or he just didn't know) writer David Koepp's cameo in this movie where he played the guy in blue with glasses who got eaten in the T-rex's attack in San Francisco.