ONN's Autistic Reporter

[TheSaintTheo]

I am slightly technically sort of autistic (aspergers) and I thought this was funny, and kind of adorable.

[TheSaintTheo]

@TheSaintTheo Umm, adorable in a good way, not a condescending way.

[NorthviewWildcats]

Happy because they get to see each other.

No....

Sad because Danielle is now a dead body.

Yes...

[Gronzlo]

My uncle is an autistic savant and, while this is exaggerated, this is still pretty hilarious.

[davidmartinrain]

This is a satire people if you don't like it don't watch it. No one forced you to click play. Some of you are a bunch of freaking cry babies.

[EarthAngel504]

It's a bad thing that Danielle is a dead body now.

[FreelanceProgrammer]

People should relax about death. And this is Onion News Satire, A brand of satire which knows no bounds.

If you think they would be dicks at a real funeral your obviously joking yourself.

[ParkensRiddare]

... to help me make up my mind...

[ParkensRiddare]

Havn´t quite made up my mind yet; is this funny or not?

I think I gotta see some more of this nonsense...

[bizbite2]

Suddenly the number of autistic people rose extremely, when one could get thumbs up for it.

I'm autistic btw, thumbs up.

[cartoonistjack]

I'm autistic and I find this hilarious!

[1985MANAmericana]

I love that he goes on about homicides in Detroit when he's in DC.

[babypharoah]

I'm going to hell for laughing this hard....

[cryptosquid]

OMG! I must be autistic! This is how I am everyday.

[Helios1138]

wasn't this Robert Guillaume?

[jopalolive]

Yes.

[ryandallion]

This person has aspergers syndrome. And this person thinks this is effing hilarious!

[timrocket2]

these are funny until you read the comments and question humanity

[ladawg81]

-how do you think people in the neighborhood feel?

-how do YOU think people feel?

-how do you think people feel? oh, happy because they get to see each other.

-no

-sad because she died?

-(pauses) yes.

[geneeshays]

0:38

Yoda?

[brainac0cult]

so accurate haha

[neilladriaansen]

@brainac0cult Autistic people are not like that at all...

[brainac0cult]

@neilladriaansen if autistic people were not like that at all. people would not recognize this fictional reporter as being autistic. i have aspergers syndrome, please download linux.

[neilladriaansen]

@brainac0cult They know he's autistic because it's in the title! And I have Asperger syndrome as well. And I am not like that at all, this is insulting! Pure discrimination.

[cunninglinguist1889]

@neilladriaansen That's because they have exagerrated various aspects of autism for comedic effect.

[neilladriaansen]

@cunninglinguist1889 I know, I was referring to the comments of people who think autistic people are actually like this.

[kendrikMN]

@cunninglinguist1889 i like ur username

[cunninglinguist1889]

@kendrikMN Thanks, I chose it because I am interested in Language and extremely proficient in pleasuring women with my mouth. Plus 1889 was when Hitler was born and he was a fucking gobshite.

[kendrikMN]

@cunninglinguist1889 Oi fuck you. Hitler was my great grandpa. You're a jerk.

[Woochaga]

I'm not offended, because I drive a red car. I'm glad I had a part in making someone's day a good day. :)

[CoffeeStuffs]

I used to be autistic, then I took an arrow to the knee.

[Nmisling]

@CoffeeStuffs let me guess...someone stole your sweetroll?

[moearly]

@CoffeeStuffs I probably shouldn't know what this is referencing, but I do.

[PopeOfTheUniverse]

i consider The Onion a howling success because half the people who watch these videos think they are real

[puddingball]

@PopeOfTheUniverse I consider The Onion a howling succes, because half the people who watch these videos think half the people who watch these videos think they are real.

[studioJAC67]

No I saw 2 red cars! It was a very good day.

[Trashcansam123]

I also have Aspergers, I love this.

[nmatteson1]

0:36 is perfect

[genkidesukaxoxo]

how do you think they feel? .... HAPPY BECAUSE THEY GET TO SEE EACHOTHER

[onemagdelen]

My son is autistic and he thinks this is hilarious. He said, "That's awesome!" It's a good thing when we can laugh at ourselves. Just because he's mildly autistic doesn't mean that there is something wrong with him.

[mand3dog13]

"No, I saw three red cars. It was a very good day." Is from the Curious Case of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon, right? It's the book about the autistic boy that solves the murder of his neighbor's dog.

[Prysewhert]

@mand3dog13

yes it is!

[chuddlewinks]

@mand3dog13 Aaaaah! I'm glad someone else caught that.

[bnsDFerguson]

I thought everyone knew by now The Onion was a satirical news network...? Guess I was sadly mistaken.

P.S.: This is hilarious. <3

[janusdoa]

lol aspergers is just a myth

[AllOtherNamesTaken2]

@janusdoa wtf

[B3nt7y1alt]

I saw 3 red cars today so it was happy.

[blanketshades]

this is comedy genius

[Daecoth]

People who are offendwd by this just don't have a sense of humor. I doubt this is a real story anyway

[danielscissorhands]

@Daecoth You "doubt" this is a real story. So, you're not sure. LOL Are people really that guillible? It's the f**king ONION folks!

[DireDowns]

I am offended by this. Don't joke about death, I have a grandmother who died of death.

[moviematcanada]

@DireDowns

Funny I had a grandfather whose death was caused by dying....

[moearly]

@DireDowns I'm offended by it because it makes fun of people with autism.

[bjam89]

@moearly get off your high horse, it is not making fun of us, if anything it is making fun of you

[moearly]

@bjam89 Didn't mean to be offensive. I don't like people making fun of people. Gosh--sorry for trying to be on your side XP

[bjam89]

@moearly look at the amount of people in this comment page that tells they are not offended, people know the onion, they know what they are like and he does a good job showing how we can act

[ladawg81]

@DireDowns best troll evar!

[neilladriaansen]

@DireDowns I am offended as well, don't joke about autism!

[oliverlaw02]

@DireDowns Life is a terminal illness.

[fraroc]

@oliverlaw02 all we are is dust in the wind....(all we are is dust in the wind) dust in the wind (everything is dust in the wind) everything is dust in the wind......

[babyhilts]

@DireDowns I'm so sorry for you. I heard that death is now the #1 killer of both men and women.

[15551cue]

@DireDowns i think this is fake

[DobermansRock]

Why would they hire this guy? Is it equal oportunity employment?

[graff9301]

3 red cars. a good day? is this from the book by mark haddon. i'm confused

[colourfulwithaU]

@pgronke

Yes, very perceptive of you.

[kurtz9mm]

I have a son with aspergers and he is non-verbal but the character traits are totally dead on. My daughter and I were in tears laughing over this, its something we live with everyday and love about him.

[Sabohaque]

Oh man my sides are split! This is amazing.

[Skullmiser]

Why did Danielle Henry's mother not want to talk to onion reporter Micheal Falk?

[colourfulwithaU]

@Skullmiser

Why do you think? Get of here.

[wiesonurcomix]

my fav part: the number of homicides in detroit.

[SKB8draws]

>I saw 3 red cars

>It was a good day

oooh my gooood

[NHwild184]

Get over it "spokesmen" of Autistic People. The Fact is that EVERY major disease/condition is parodied. Cancer, AIDS, STDs. Even Race & Sexuality, they are are things that are constantly Lampooned. The fact that everyone has to cover their mouth, and scream "OFFENSIVE!!!" that just shows, that yer sheep.

Get over it. Find something to really be offended about like American Politics. Satire like this never ONCE made FUN of Autism. They presented a satire of an autistic reporter.

Great vid!

[dclark12553]

not all autistic people talk like that some autistic people are like normal people. sometimes you cannot always tell if the person is autistic.

[colourfulwithaU]

@dclark12553

Sometimes, you cannot always tell if a YouTube commenter can't take a joke.

[dclark12553]

this is stupid because it is humiliating and harrassment to the autistic population.

[colourfulwithaU]

@dclark12553

This is humiliating harassment to the autistic population? I'm autistic, and I find this hilarious. If you are not autistic, speak for yourself and only yourself, and if you are autistic, learn that having a mental abnormality does not make you a spokesperson for everyone with the same abnormality.

[TheRainSnake]

I have Aspergers and this made my day :D

[Yazdmich]

My name is Michael, i have Aspergers and i approve of this video.

[denmak]

My son is autistic and I found this video delightful. Nothing better to initiate people unfamiliar with the autism spectrum than some humor. Well done - and yes, the char is absolutely priceless.

[JimTLonW6]

Very funny! This character is priceless!

[Oreilly240ify]

Did anyone get the reference at the end? that three red cars thing was from "The curious incident of the dog in the night-time" all the more hilarious XD

[TheRainSnake]

@Oreilly240ify huh, i thought i was the only one who got the reference :)

[MsEmpirical]

The reporter had a good point about his day being good, because the anchor did not specify that it was a bad day only for the people whose lives were affected by the girl being killed. There's no reason to imply that the entire day was bad for *everyone* as the day was bad for only a limited number of people. The anchor should have been more specific.

[Shindashi]

I'm autistic myself, and love this. The Braverman guy is an asshole.

[cfasppt]

No, it was a very good day, I saw three red cars

[ElleEstVivante]

I have asperger's. It was funny the first time watching it, but then thinking of it after a while... I think it doesn't really help the current image autistic people have. Yeah, it shouldn't be taken seriously, I understand that. But still... it gives off a rather negative, facetious wave on autistics... Like, just because they saw this, even though they know it's a parody, people will assume this is what we must be like...

[Aburame]

@ElleEstVivante I know exactly what you mean! I get that feeling when I hear semi-racist jokes and such. I find it hard to laugh, especially when I am with others, because I keep wondering if others ponder about the seriousness of it after they laugh, or if they just move on with subconsciously added prejudice in their minds. It probably happens to me too sometimes. But this time I actually thought of some people's failure to feel empathy for autistics because they can seem to lack it! ;)

[colourfulwithaU]

@ElleEstVivante

Only stupid people who already neglect real life experience and research. Don't worry about their opinions. 

[literalgirl]

My son and I are both formally diagnosed; I'm an Aspie and he's technically HFA, although he presents Aspie. And we are laughing ourselves silly over this! It's kind of like the joy one experiences when meeting another one of "the tribe". It's so entertaining. And you know, gotta have a sense of humour or how could we survive with all the subtexty, confusing NTs walking around? :-)

[adamV5]

did you look and see the Funeral You idiot?

[KEngel1021]

I have Asperger's Syndrome and while I thought the video was funny, the autistic aspect was overacted.

[Conway79]

I love how the statistics he quoted actually show a general DECLINE in the number of homicides in recent years, which contradicts what the man he was interviewing said.

[colourfulwithaU]

@Conway79

PWNED. YOU'RE A WINNER, SIR.

[torakokoneko]

hahaha i have asperger's, this is HILARIOUS! =D

THE BUTTONS WERE BLACK!

[gklue]

No, I saw three red cars. It was very good day :D

lol

[violinstephanie]

I have two children with autism as well and I couldn't stop laughing at this one and at the one where the man was hit by the train. Spot on. It's like they peeked into my son's head and wrote down the transcript.

[pferraripres]

I have two autistic kids and I think that this video is hilarious. My kids both watched this video and one of them stated that the reporter forgot to state that once the dead body was in the ground it would continue to decompose. She then went through the decomposition process with me. This video captures how autistic people behave perfectly. And it actually humanizes autism and shows non-autistic people how the autistic mind handles communication. Thanx for uploading this great video.

[SpamNapkin]

On the bright side, this man has a bright future ahead of him as a Wikipedia admin.

[CrimsonToast]

THE BUTTONS WERE BLACK!

[Monumentum616]

He should never have got that MMR jab!

[outforbl00d]

I love the 'Curious Incident of the Dogin the Night Time' quote at the end :P

[jcrickmanfan96]

@outforbl00d i love that book

[kad952]

lol, he's gonna pray for you

[WhiteRiceStudios1]

I have asperger's, and this is the funniest video i've ever seen.

[DankWin]

@WhiteRiceStudios1 actually you don't have asperger's you sack of shit.

[IHaveKnowVidoes]

@DankWin Your right he is

[torakokoneko]

@DankWin i'm pretty sure that's not for you to decide =/

[RVRgeek]

@WhiteRiceStudios1

same here

[pr00de]

@WhiteRiceStudios1 you can recognize humor? BEEP BOOP

[JasemanTheHedgehog]

Heh, I think this is pretty accurate. I know I do the spouting random facts and talking fast.

[KimmyRose12]

I have Aspergers, and I think that this was funny! I know that the ONN doesnt bash the topics it brings up, it only parodies. So I know that this wasnt made to offend.

[TheGreyblood]

@KimmyRose12 Enjoying having a made up condition? Asperger's is like the new ADD, except it's not for stupid people, it's for social fuck ups.

[sosiopat]

@TheGreyblood A person favoriting David Icke vids has no business calling others stupid or social fuck-ups.

[TheGreyblood]

@sosiopat I feel bad for guys like you... Stalking people on the internet, calling people social fuck ups and stupid. I'd never stoop to your level. I'll pray for you, man.

[colourfulwithaU]

@TheGreyblood

You're a social fuck up. I'm glad your account is 'no longer active'. I hope you suffer brain damage.

[KimmyRose12]

@TheGreyblood Look, I'm not trying to start a fight, But that was very insulting. I have been diangnosed with AS and my fiancee has ADD. While it is true that we are socially akward, (I'm not goind to deny that) we are not supid.

[stampede274]

As someone who skirts the border between "severe asperger's" and "mild autism," I must say this is HILARIOUS. And true. My favorite moment was when he was running back and forth from the bushes to the funeral. I do that sometimes. It's like my pathfinding AI is glitched.

[DocEmmittBrown]

@stampede274 you give me hope for society

[Dahelmaeth]

This is so funny, a great parody of the way autistic people are portrayed by the media.

[mattyfromcali]

joekiser has a point, autistics definitely wouldn't be offended by this.

[joekiser]

Rude? Nah.  Pretty sure that autistic people aren't offended.

[frisbeejim]

How did you record this? I might show this one of my autistic clients, but couldn't record it directly from the Onion website. Thanks to you, I now have a copy. Still haven't decided if it looks too rude to show to therapists.

[ohohmrbill1]

@frisbeejim use firefox then dowload dowload helper then download the vid.

[frisbeejim]

@ohohmrbill1 Thanks. Got it with Zamzar.com, but it's good to have another option.

[KariSalonen]

Is this a joke? Sry about stupid question

[torakokoneko]

@KariSalonen yes.



[colourfulwithaU]

@KariSalonen

Yes, it is a joke. Yes, it is a stupid question.

[Maiju17]

Its kinda rude but funny tho :)

[moriya2k2]

I laughed, even though it was tasteless.