Ultimate Suckage - NES Deadly Towers Review

[mi777ke777]

This game was forged in hell to destroy humanity.

[khoraski]

I picked this up at a pawn shop. It sucks. xD

[xZOOMORPHICx]

Hidden shops in underground dungeons, crippling enimies, and seriously massive maps. This is one the best games ever. 1987 Megadvanced gamers need only apply. "i dont like the colors and its too hard!" lol

[Doommaster1994]

So I'm assuming people are going to call you an AVGN rip off because of what you said at 2:45

[jramos037]

One of the hardest games i've ever played. Glad I can say I beat this and Ninja Turtles on the NES. Oh the days of no memory cards.

[MDthornton83]

Good use of Spark Mandrill's theme towards the end!

[mrlinky121]

I love it when you can shoot them as if you were using an ingram!

[Morphicc]

This game was suicidal if u didn't have some sort of guide. I think of all the hours me and my brother played it, we might of beaten 2 bosses at most.

[SAIL4323]

2:47 Did AVGN use your quote? In his review, he used quotes from his fans.

[amagammonon]

This is one of the classics for me. It is in my collection, and beat it in 6 hours. The only thing that ever stumped me was where the key is that makes the dark soldiers move from the door.

[josephkubinec]

I had this game when I was eleven. I beat it, and it only took two months of screaming at the tv to do it. On the other hand, I had a friend who also had it and threw a 36 inch tv on his nintendo while laughing and calling the game "cheater!"

[InfectiousShroomKid]

I played the hell out of this game. So damn hard, but addicting.

[william642]

HAI

[KoivuTheHab]

Whats the first, second and 4th games in the intro?...

[AzraelDKF]

Oh god, I remember the getting sucked into dungeons and you could wander around forever, it WAS the equivalent to falling into the pit in E.T. for the 2600

[TrueDansta]

Nice review!!

[TheRoonster421]

Are u kidding me? This game was awesome! Just too difficult for this pinhead.

[ghostgunner11]

is he shooting swords out of his crotch?

[Shitkuhadouken]

i have the cartridge... i remember how bad this game was. It deserves to be considered the worst game ever along with E.T. ha...

[KahrylBlack]

I love deadly towers. All 3 of your main complaints boil down to "this game is too difficult". And yes it is extremely difficult but that was one of the things that drew me in. Drawing my own maps, celebrating when I survive to see new territory. The game is so sprawling and abstract it becomes an almost spiritual experience when you play it enough.

[InfectiousShroomKid]

@KahrylBlack Yeah totally. This game is rewarding when you finally get somewhere. I kind of feel that Demon Souls is a spiritual successor due to the difficulty, though not as difficult as Deadly Towers. I consider Deadly Towers one of the most challenging games I have ever played. Challenging in a good way, not challenging in a bad way (Terminator 2 NES, Total Recall NES, like that)

[pepperjack91]

lol. dude ejaculates swords

[thegoire]

u stole this fro avgn

[Random90sKid]

@thegoire Lol,no,he didn't.AVGN doesn't own the game nor is the only person who knows about it.

[Dgamer21]

thumbs up if you watched this because of avgn

[GrotesqueKevin]

The music 3:56-4:43 is badass.

Is that from the game itself?

Anyone have a link or name of the song?

[GermthaVicious]

@GrotesqueKevin its megaman x1 for the snes, spark mandrill stage.

[DURAMATRIX112]

i have this game and i literally wanted to throw the game at the wall!!

haha i keep dying and i do kill the blue beach balls but its the puddles of water thing that i have issues with lol

[exbronco1980]

i've never heard of this game.

[EvilSideStalker666]

Its nice how u have to ejaculate swords !

[cycophile]

haha good review i always love when ppl talk about this game, make comparisons, jokes, etc. its my favorite NES game in an odd way

[unillenium]

I used to love this game because of the challenge behind it. I only ever made it to the first tower boss though, completely by accident.. and didn't win.

[emeraldthechao174]

"Here you play as Sir Myers who goes around ejaculating swords and rapes things to death": Best introduction to a character ever XD

[insaneclownbrian]

thee3nd, what's the Music that kick's In at 3.55 Off? I know It's Off a Super Nintendo Game but just Can't remember which One...

[jimbostube2]

You're hearing the music from Spark Mandrill's stage in Megaman X for SNES. Almost all the tunes from the first 6 Megaman X games were badass.

[ProdigiousPoker]

I actually beat this game n 1987 after hour upon hour of playing, dying, mapping dungeons. Sigh, it was brutal but so rewarding when I finally beat it. The review left out how cool the bosses were. I also thought the tower music was really cool. Nice touch at the end of the review with the money-shot of the mountain man. A bit disturbing but good review!

[warrkrymez]

hey ProdigiousPoker I also beat this game, it wasn't so bad but it was tough. I didn't map out anything, though I agree the ending was so rewarding.

[JERRYR708]

@ProdigiousPoker I agree. I have played this game longer than any other NES game until I finally beat it. It was fun for its time.

[kevorktanossian]

i remember being a dumbass kid and buying this game in 1987 what a piece of $hit I mean real piece of $hit game. Still is.

[linebecksuper]

5:14 5:33

chuck norris XD

[stillnotbetter]

For real dude, I hope that you die a slow disgusting death. You are a complete waste of time. Loser.

[mpontheair2]

I like turtles.

[marcusnns]

@mpontheair2

I like apples!

[mpontheair2]

How about pie? :)

[Netyaroze1]

Oh yeah I remember this game.

[hawatatreides]

i beat this game in five seconds

[mpontheair2]

Sure you have.

[wormed7600]

looking at the date, and the fact that AVGN used fan feedback for that episode, it's more likely that james used thee3nds line for the review

[xcalibur9874]

also, make it so you dont have to restart at the beginning, and maybe have swords do more damage if you throw them from further away. just a few changes would make a big difference.

[runemaniac312]

5:13 ear rape with your pingas sword o_O it must b Robotnik :O not price poopypants or whateever

[xcalibur9874]

i completely agree with you. i like deadly towers for its artistic and novelty value. i used to play it when i was young, although i found it maddening for the reasons you described.

it couldve been alot better if they changed the gameplay a bit.. like not starting off so weak, and not making the dungeons into insane maze traps.

a remake designed to be more playable could be pretty awesome.

[geclay]

man i beat deadly towers when i was in the army I loved that game....

[NYTROXZ]

lol at the end ur sword ejaculation turns that guy on

[LartonRou32]

Remember that scene in the Wayne's World move, when that dude Noah from Noah's Arcade was describing that game that couldn't be beat?

[thee3nd]

Yeah, it was called "Desert Storm Commando Warriors".

[carpetsnake]

This game is the spawn of Satan,it will vanquish all sanity of anyone who plays it.

If you play this game,first splash holy water on yourself,repent prior to hitting start,and most importantly never ever ever stop praying to God while playing,if you fail to follow any of this,you will allow the game to open the mouth of hell and all humanity will be lost.

[JBoo67]

I remember this when I was a kid. I just bought a NES and I'm going to get this off ebay. I never beat this game; I just died constantly.

[Dozirulf]

Deadly Towers rocked at the time. Frustrating as hell though.

[thee3nd]

Right, look at the date this video was posted and then look at the date AVGN posted his video before accusing me of stealing his lines. Idiot.

[FiveAcrossTheEyes4U]

This game actually made me contemplate suicide at the ripe old age of 10.

[spacejerk37]

Why does the little boy cum swords?

[kamajje]

THE ENDING TURNED ME ON. OBBY~~~!!~~!

[Zerothis]

I'd actually like to play the Zelda game described. And I like this game. Most games are way too easy.

[ShawnD1]

"Peter North plays as Sir Meyers who goes around and ejaculates swords and rapes things to death"

This really needs to be put on a t-shirt.

[riserobot]

Deadly Towers was a pain in the ass. But 8 Eyes was much more difficult. Don't believe me, try it out.

[NinjaGhostScorpion]

I did. The difference between the two was that I actually beat 8-Eyes.

Actually, I should say, "we." A friend of mine wanted to play as the bird.

[DT170x]

LOL at 3:14

[mizzike16]

This game was horrible! I used a game genie for invincibility, and I don't think you can beat this shit without it! Probably the worst game I've ever played!

[rej72380]

While Thee3nd is correct about the game being the most flawed video game in existence, I still managed to beat the game without any sort of strategy guide way back in the year 2001. How I was able to retain my sanity after that game remains a mystery to me.

[phubans]

I used to own this game. Playing it as a kid, almost 20 years ago, I never really managed to beat it... I think I made it to one of the bosses once (an owl or something?) and that was really the highlight of the game.

I agree 100% with this review... I feel like this game had a lot of potential, but it was ruined by horrible execution in game design. A remake that fixes these flaws would probably make a decent DS game.

[idgarad]

I beat this game after 15 years (apx.) Finally. No cheats, no FA AF hackage.

The music wasn't too bad. I have the intro song as my voice mail notification.

I would LOVE to see this remade using say the Dungeon Siege engine. Anyone want to try a remake? Perhaps the Elder Scrolls engine?

[Stealth897]

Crappy Towers.

[Nhoshishi]

2:23 ROFL

[robotwarsfan03]

raping things to death XD

[MugoUrth]

No, the worst would probably be Action 52. 52 horrible, poorly made games for the price of TWO HUNDRED BIG ONES!!!

[HelloFade2]

Well at least this game isn't as bad as "Master Chu and the Drunkard Hu"

[mackenzy123]

i just got the cartridge to this :P

[Jadicegirl]

this was pretty cool, and lol at the last few seconds...the prince looks a little too happy to be 'shooting' that guy. XD

[wafflechunk29]

5:13 - 5:33  ROFL

[KingOfHalla]

AVGN did his review of Deadly Towers AFTER Thee3nd did

[jimmyboy2021]

not really, he had the users review it. he just said everyones quotes for them

[lotusclown217]

wait.. wtf.. the long pause at the end? was he raping a troll??? that was some scary shit...

[monstermoviemaker]

to all you noobds who think he copyed avgn, YOU ARE FACKING IDIOTS!

[ultramegaunknown]

Graphics look great

The good points for the game end there.

[thesevidsdontsuck]

ASS!

[GalaxticDragon]

ROFL HEe CUMS SWORDS

[gamerolled]

And not to mention sometimes when you enter a room in a dungeon, the game just drops you right on top of an enemy in the room, just like dropping you ass first onto a whale's cock! It's fucking horrible, there's no way around it either, because that means using another door to that room which is sometimes impossible!

[Aiolome]

The only way I was able to finish this game was by using Game Genie, and then its still next to impossible.

[lanceknightmare]

The music that played toward the end of this Deadly towers sounds familiar. But, I can't quiet pin the music down.

[thee3nd]

Spark Mandrill stage from MegamanX

[rridgway2]

Megaman?

[thee3nd]

Yup

[OutlandishEmpire]

dude who copied who? did u copy him or did he copy u?

[thee3nd]

I didn't copy him. Check the dates the videos were posted.

[StrayZer0]

i knw man, it's a shame that ppl comment saying u copied avgn when all of ur reviews rb4 him, lol ppl r just ignorant. keep up making these man i like em :)

[Jeowulf08]

neither. the 2 reviews r so different they couldnt have copied each other.

[OutlandishEmpire]

xDDD u ppl should see the AVGN's review on this freaking piece of dog shiet

[rabapab23]

Great review! I could have never gotten to all those places I saw in this vid.. what an awful game.

[Qrawzseg]

i want to ejaculate swords!

[FlowerFlo1983]

Love the good old mega man music!

[NinjaGhostScorpion]

Crank that Spark Mandrill!

[slammer612]

The sword yes is slow, but if you happen to find double shot (lets you shoot 2 swords in a series, parallel shot sucks though) and makes surviving through farther in the game easier

[NutNapalm]

You should do some color dreams games. they're really really bad. Especially robodemons.

[Sinthro]

Someone took the quote with the underground dungeons and told it to AVGN lul :)

I laughed.

People couldn't think of their own shit and stole it from you :[

[UltimaChaos298]

Looks like a crappy version of Zelda.

[joshton]

nice peter north line lol!

[Walenski]

LOL! I like "The best way to kill is just move in close and just rape them." Good review. I remember renting this when I was like 9. Needless to say I did not beat it, and did not have any fun in trying.

[joshton]

lol yeah after seeing this review I pooped the fucker in my nes and played it what a misrable experience lol.

[caniplzwatch]

peaceout =D

[kirbsmeister]

I was gonna complain that the "good luck finding a shop" and "They'll kill you before you can say game over" were copied from AVGN, but I've just realised this was posted first!

[RoyaleCafe]

So someone copied this guys words and emailed it to AVGN i guess

[karuk7575]

yeah with the death faster than saying gameover thing

[artman40]

Actually this video came out before AVGN review.

[NutNapalm]

"Peter North plays as Sir Myres who ejaculates swords and rapes things to death" - brilliant.

[eolorand]

I have to say, I am a HUGE avgn fan. but this guy isnt bad. hes not like that guy who calls himself "the irate gamer"... that guy is irritating. I at least sat through this one and didnt get upset cause he is acting like a douche. Good Job for not acting like all those other lamers who copy the avgn.!!

4/5 stars.

[blacksixspeed]

whatever u rock avgn rocks feces diarea fuck shits

[blacksixspeed]

" but good luck finding a shop that will sell you power ups" what the fuck ? avgn re-used your review what kinda IG is he?

[sprybug]

Remember, the Deadly Towers review by AVGN was written by the FANS in that episode, plus with so many opinions by so many people about this game, could it be possible that someone might have the same opinion? YES.

[Carlitonsp1]

Did you put in suggestions for the AVGN's review of this game, because I found a few quotes from this review in his. It could have also been a fan, but I'm not sure if they would do something like that.

[thee3nd]

No I never sent in a quote. I've already said my piece on this horrible excuse for a game.

[swissking007]

jood job man I like your reviews, your not like those avgn copycats

[the1andonlyjman]

megaman x music?

[Islandfad]

Mega-man music at 3:55

[studdedzombie]

Deadly Towers isnt the worst game ever. Naw

But to me, this game is the worst executed video game ever!

[karuk7575]

i die a lot in that game.

[junkietomato]

I would like to add that I almost puked when I saw the last part. Damn that made me laugh so hard.

[junkietomato]

This video is made of win! LOL at raping things to death and sword ejaculation.

[pizzaman9176]

watch out avgn nazis might spam this when the review comes out

[pizzaman9176]

what am i saying?? they will!

[supermariofan2105v59]

id rather shove dr.jekyll and mr.hydes up my ass than play this perhethic excuse of this game

[supermariofan2105v59]

my generic avgn funny comments: I WOULD RATHER EAT A DEADLY TOWER OF ELEPHANT SHIT WHILE BALANCING CHRIS FARLEY HOLDING A SWORD ON MY DICK AND WALK 10,000 MILES DOWN THE FUCKING HIGHWAY TO HELL RATHER THAN PLAY THIS SORRY ASS EXCUSE OF A EVEN A BAD GAME.

what do you guys think (thumbs up or down)

[nintendrac]

wtf r u doing... thats my cmnt

[grubbiethebum]

Nice to come across a review that doesn't whine like a baby when it comes across a bad game and says the obvious, like "wahh, this f*ing sucks". I still disagree with you on this being the worst game ever. I tried mapping it out and figuring what that stupid half-black, half-white icon ever did.

[thee3nd]

I don't recall saying this was "the worst game ever".

[shinhaka]

I really liked the onscreen comparisons to zelda, such as double the enemies and the dungen map. Easy to see flaws and agitation that one XD.

[EXEveryNote]

-sigh- Definitly not as good as AVGN. -_-

[Carlitonsp1]

Ejaculating Swords, ROFL!

[Droopy669]

you just got another subscriber! Original and Indepth on the game. and not a Imitator like some on youtube!

[blacksixspeed]

th33nd is the best reviewer on youtube in my opinion. he reviews games fairly and thougroughly. cant wait for avgns though!

[blacksixspeed]

thee3nd

[thehmphone]

heheh, I bet your views will soar because so many people want to see what this game is all about just so they can take a few pages of your review in order to give to AVGN

[utubesuckbad]

you did a good review so i`m gonna sub

[e33laf]

This game looks horrendous.The sprite looks like mega man crossed with a goat.

[TenguGuy]

Uh...did you just insult Megaman? *Aims rifle*

[e33laf]

No Way! Megaman's cool.

[TenguGuy]

That's great! I love that series!

[gitrdun01dasouthrulz]

my comment to AVGN was...

THIS GAME SUCKS SHIT THROUGH A SILLY STRAW IN A CEMENT MIXURE! ID RATHER SHOVE DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE UP MY ASS WHILE 69ING LEX LUTHOR FROM SUPERMAN 64! THIS GAME IS JUST PLAIN FUASSSSSS THATS RIGHT FUCK AND ASSSSSS TOGETHER FUASSS!!!! THIS IS THE BANANA IN A BANANA "SHIT" SUNDAE! ID HAVE MORE FUN WAITIN FOR VULTURES TO EAT ME ALIVE WHILE A BUFFLO TAKES A SHIT ON MY FACE! IM DEAD FUCKIN SERIOUS!

[salmonzz]

megaman soundtrack ?

[SturmvogelPrime]

Spark Mandrill (Megaman X)

[karuk7575]

lol rape them.

[ArchonXR3]

AVGN 's gonna review this game soon

[555Kamikaze]

Here's my AVGN comment:

"I'd rather shove a hose filled with camel shit up my ass than play this pathetic excuse for a game.

[posthumanfetus]

That was a pretty good review.  I like how you didn't resort to immature cursing. Sure it's funny when the AVGN does it but that's because he's a real director and he is sort of a professional. I liked this review. I wish it could have been longer.

[ampyun]

hahahaha funny!

[FutureLaugh]

whats with the creepy slow ending rape sequence?

[Saintofkillers85]

You are good at reviewing games.

[ShamanOfMusic]

I played this game on facebooks nes ap and had it back then i believe anyway it spews ass and i suck at it lol

[revnge]

the last screen was like digusting... but hilarious in any way

[tortioustorts]

Spark Mandrill awesome

[gulhizyuksek]

haha "Peter North plays Sir Myers who ejaculates" over his foes, Great review guy!

[al122385]

The last 20 seconds of the video really freak me out O.o.

Guess a challenging game its good, but there is a small line between challenge and suffering people should not cross.

[Rapture639]

LOL @ the ending. What was he doing to that poor shirtless man?

[TheHulk2008]

you rape things while attacking enough said i played this game when i was a kid i wish i could get that amount of my childhood back

[eagle1101]

Whats that music at the beginning when it says "Ultimate Suckage"? I know I've heard it before.

[thee3nd]

The track is called "Dancing Mad" and it's from Final Fantasy 6.

[megagrey]

This was one of the first reviews I ever saw on Youtube. I think it was even before I discovered AVGN! Stills owns today.

[a44468]

Cool music, id like to play this to just to see what its like.

[eversincealways]

Hey it's Blaster Master...

[crisgia]

blaster master is the shit

[eversincealways]

This is pretty innocent content for a plot centered around Peter North.

[legacyofarcon2]

i've got several hundred hours, mabye thousands in this game, i got it back it about 89 or 91, somting like that. and still have it.