Newcastle - makes Detroit look like the Hamptons

[louiselannen123]

hahah alcoholic fudge but noo Newcastle's a good place he knows nothing!

[NuFc0X0Longbenton]

Americans have got the worst sense of humor in the world

[NiamhElspeth]

were dose he get of talking about newcastle when he's from glassgow!

[geordierocker1]

stupid american prick

[britishtoonarmy]

@apolloobserved Say what you want about Detroit it will never beat heritage or togetherness of Newcastle

[okaygojessica]

Watch yourself there, Ferg.

[stuart556]

this guy is an idiot.

[DuffPaddy1]

A Glaswegian poking fun at Newcastle? Saying it makes Detroit look like the Hamptons? Pot? Kettle? Black? To be fair he did say that when was growing up that Glasgow in the 70s was like Braveheart set in Detroit with lots of polyester.

Tony Blair was born in Edinburgh, educated in Durham and supports Newcastle United. A comedian born in Glasgow who's career didn't take off in Britain so moved to American and who now has dual British and American citizenship.

The bit at the end is true though.

[Zakkkk95]

Whos this faggot? he isnt a single bit funny..

[apolloobserved]

To the morons saying trash about detroit-have you ever visited the city? If you haven't go do ur grandma's rotting corpse. Bunch of chavs and poffers!

[disismcsquared]

Tony Blair comes from Durham, not Newcastle. He was born 5 mins from my house, for our sins.

[JagopersonOfficial]

it says in the description box "the stuffy english"?? FUCK OFF YOU IGNORANT AMERICANS!!!

[stenchmachine]

@JagopersonOfficial does he sound America to you?

[JagopersonOfficial]

@stenchmachine no but he is!!

[stenchmachine]

@JagopersonOfficial yeah just as American as Fergie and David Beckham

[JagopersonOfficial]

@stenchmachine he has an american citizenship!!

[stenchmachine]

@JagopersonOfficial who the fuck cares, he's still scottish, it's half his act

and yes we think he sucks too

[ApocXPB]

TOON

[missemzy100]

this guy is a right Muppet he needs to get his facts right

[TheYazoo321]

newcastle is amazing place to go too! scottland is a shithole! thats why the romans built the wall! to keep the fuckers out!

[ClementsTom]

Who is this guy? He isn't remotely funny.

[BeeRich33]

@ClementsTom I think he's the valet.

[drumbum99]

tony blair from newcastle... wut o.0

[DarinBurke]

sorry i forgot Glasgow was such a wealthy place where no crime goes on and everyone is amazing looking.

i have family near glasgow. possibly the worst city in the uk, so he can't talk

[granskare]

this beer is great!

[meccy3000]

brown ale is the drink of the gods

[PCLA7]

Scots Git - Not funny - Knows nowt about tha Toon.

[itsalife23]

wow u guys do relies he is a comedian rig tanned that he is joking and if someone is being a prick its u lot cuz well new castle is hell

[PCLA7]

Scots Git - Knows nowt about the Toon - Nowt !!

[DEFINEMETALisBACK]

Newcasl' brown ale is fuckin gods tears lads!!

[greenFOD1]

save for his comment regarding music, what a prick. Used to like this jock arsehole, now he's just another vaguely famous scottish man. America, you're welcome to his unfunny "wit".

[dhwilko]

Craig Ferguson Actor from Glasgow! What does Glasgow make Detroit look like?

[ScarletSinn]

@dhwilko In all fairness, he does point out short comings of Scotland - He said when he was growing up Glasgow was a cross between Detroit and Braveheart.

[RebeccaLisaMorris]

well he obviously has never been to newcastle its a sexy city :) the stupid scottish scrum bag

[ScarletSinn]

@RebeccaLisaMorris You should see his send up of Prince Charles.

[MrToon30]

the bloke is scottish, he should no all about the toon as its only down the road. I have met some damn fine scotsman but this bloke is a prick!!!

[SewellyTV]

Newcastle is a damn fine city,

[DuckyAndGoosy4life]

this guys talkin out of his arsee :| how can americans b amused by ths shit!

[Knoxy81]

DERIOT MAKES ASHINGTON LOOK HEAVENLY. NEWCASTLE IS ONE OF THE BEST CITIES IN THE WORLD.

[Knoxy81]

This Jock has got a nerve calling Newcastle rough, when he was born in Glasgow.

I'd rather be in Newcastle than any American city, or Scottish city for that matter, the idiot.

[Spooony]

Tony Blair isn't even from Newcastle...

This scottish prat has obviously never been to the city if he thinks it's "hard". Good job teaching the Americans nothing of value about the great city. Just glad you're on their television and not ours. As you're about as funny as cholera.

[markee91]

total cockhead this brainless cunt

[subscooby]

Jesus, Americans are easily amused sometimes.

[Lamby42k9]

Liquid fudge? Shut the fuck up.

[dak2704]

Toon can't b beaten

[10joe2k]

fkin twat !!!!!!!!

[ctommonufc]

dumbed down shite humour or americans, from a shite comic.

[TheMrSeanGray]

Hes an arse! newcastle brow ale is nice and im not fat so thats a lie, and its not rough what would he know? and as for the comment down the bottom we are geordies not scottish we dont wear kilts and i certainly dont eat haggis its rank :/

[Knoxy81]

@TheMrSeanGray You'll never catch me in a SKIRT (kilt), the c**t. 

[p717]

It hurts to see people so easily entertained.

[Dominix123456]

@p717 such a wonderful comment

[charlieiscool1000]

what a fucking idiot why would a man like Tony blair deserve to be knightend hes a the man who destoryed this once great country for good

[borninuniform]

listen Geordies... I am a Geordie supporter from Norwich (living in Florida)... this guy lives in the US and has lived there for so long I doubt he wears his skirt and I doubt he still eats haggis.

No hard feelings. He is a funny guy though.

[borninuniform]

listen Geordies... I am a Geordie supporter from Norwich (living in Florida)... this guy lives in the US and has lived there for so long I doubt he wears his skirt and I doubt he still eats haggis.

No hard feelings. He is a funny guy though.

[hadr0n]

Tony Blair was born in Edinburgh and spent most of his childhood in Durham - not Newcastle.

[hadr0n]

@hadr0n *Bliar

[YYY1000]

Bullshit rhetoric from a filthy skirt wearing bastard! Step over that wall and you'll get your haed kicked in! Cunt!

[davemiller72]

For the record: Blair was born in Edinburgh. Anyway, not much point commenting on this guy.

[0wls2k]

Newcastle is a beautiful city. This guy is a talentless cunt stealing a living :)

[DW01]

Detroit makes my arse hole look like the Hamptons more like!

[soixantecroissants]

FUCK YOU FAKE SCOTTISH CUNT!

[bingstaz]

What a fucking tit!!!!!

[jgsouter]

Who is this tramp? Does he need 50p for a cup of tea, the dossbag.

[jgsouter]

Whos this tramp? Does he want 50p for a cup of tea?

[HedleyNUFC]

what a wanker

[Davegravy]

Newcastle is nice.

[grepstar]

what a douche. "makes detriot look like the hamptons"

if americans get their facts from the Scottosih no wonder theeyre in so much shit. only joking scotland. - i blame CBS.

that guy is such a pinhead.

[joe89nufc]

whos this bastard then?

[LewymonProductions]

Fuck you CBS the english arnt stuffy. our country is better than yours

[eiresmif35]

@LewymonProductions CBS didn't say it, a Scot did.

[LewymonProductions]

@eiresmif35 Yeah a dirty stinking haggis eating skirt wearing scot

[eiresmif35]

@LewymonProductions Haha yes that's one way of describing him.

[ckeith1987]

this wanker knows nothing about newcastle and nothing a tony blair he was born in scotland and lived in durham.

[benweymesy]

Blair is from Durham, not Newcastle. If he was from Newcastle(which is a CITY not a town) he'd have the balls to tell George Bush to "tek yer blidy war on terrorism and stick it up ya orse". Might even be able to get bottles of Broon ale on the NHS if youve got a bad heed.

[Darkez982]

town? Newcastle isnt a town hahaha

[vallas9111]

haaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaa what a bell end... come to toon and ill shove the brown ale up your arse!!

[canis77]

Everyone knows that Newcastle Brown is served chilled, even says it on the bottle.

Does get you very drunk and fat though.

[robbowman1990]

I wish i had a laugh track to play whenever i say shit jokes,

is it infront of a live audience thought... like friends was?

I'm from newcastle, dont like brown ale, but my mother told me, should never judge a book by its cover... guess its ok for me to judge america then... Karma

[dannyt123123]

didn't crack a smile...shite!

[HitoriShinigami]

It's a late night comedy show. Do you think anyone who tunes into this could point Newcastle out on a map. Sometimes we all just need stupid jokes and we don't have to be idiots to want some stupid jokes. Guess what? jokes=not meant to be take seriously.

[tomleck696969]

obviously doesnt know anything about newcastle

[gonkheed]

brown ale is meant to be kept on cold shelf.this knob is good advert for rebuilding hadrians wall.

[blackandwhitehoops]

@gonkheed No, you're the best advert for rebuilding it. Remember, when we're gone, you'll have a conservative government for decades and decades. Good luck to yoiu.

[ryanw198]

haha what a retard, its not rough at all, some parts are like but every city has rough parts :| its probably the most rejuvenated city in england

[jammiedodger]

This guy obviously couldn't make it in the UK with his lowbrow 1980's jokes. He fits in well with his idiotic American audience.

Btw I'm not say all Americans are idiots. Just the ones who actually tune in each day to watch this pile of dung.

Jeez, how about next time you gain some intelligence you no good immigrating jock.

[HitoriShinigami]

So you're watching this.....why?

[timesharetout]

what a knobhead, stanley mag.

[jonistarrocks111]

i was born in newcastle -____-

[lalyBiz]

I 'll move there, how is it?

[JimmyMc1979]

This guy is cringeworthingly unfunny

[dave17186]

Jeez you lot are easily offended.

Comedians never tell the truth, they always twist things, especially when the know their audience doesn't know any better.

I'm sure being Scottish, Craig knows fine well that Blair is from Edinburgh.

[JimmyMc1979]

Comedian?

[Thumbs0nFire]

I love Newcastle!

[billybadbrakes]

as 'smilerboyboy' said Tony Blair is from Sedgefield and its about 28 miles from Newcastle! ..This guy is generalising too much. He is remembering a grim image of the industrial North East of England 30 years ago. We have virtually no heavy industry now in the North East and Newcastle in particular is clean, modern and def worth a visit folks!!!

[milne98989]

:O how fucking dare he!!!! newcastle is one of the richest big citys in the north. i mean ffs i saw a ferrari enzo there once! yeah if he said that 15 years ago it would have probs been true but now lots of moneys been invested in it, and one guidebook says the number one attraction in the uk is a night out in newcastle. so he ovs hasnt been the cunt...

[bongolwater]

Hes never been across the border! stupid jock

[Swiftorisbald]

I have had funnier shits.

[Mov1eZone]

Tony Blair is from Edinburgh, unfunny bastard

[smilerboyboy]

Tony Blair is from Sedgefield!

[grepstar]

sedgefield was his constituency, he was born in Edinburugh but lived in north yorkshire.

[dopestories]

all i give a shit about is to see newcastle FC back in the premier league..

[cotyart]

Obviously he hasn't a clue about Newcastle lol! Uncle Mike got it right, there is just no comparison between Newcastle and Detroit.

[dabomb4224]

Guys a dumbass. shit impression and sounds like recorded laughter coz no1 thinks this prick is funny, Newcastle Rules.

[inkytophat]

Ur a cock. Diss Newcastle once you've been here u faggot

[DragonForce10102]

what the fuck is this? its all bollocks... i'm from newcastle and it aint rough.. only in a few parts gotta say like our night life is class. NEWCASTLE TILL I DIE,

[rubee2008]

one word! CUNT!

[UncleMikeNJ]

I've never been to England, but I've been to Detroit. Someone once said you can go 7 miles and not leave the scene of the crime. Whatever your stereotype of Newcastle, Sunderland, Liverpool, Manchester, Glasgow, etc., it can't be as bad as Detroit. But I have tried the Brown Ale, and I won't be trying it again. Sorry, Geordies, up the Toon but down the Broon. Cheryl? She's pretty, but anyone who marries Cashley Cole can't be all that bright.

[GlamMetalSucks]

UncleMikeNJ: Now that's bullshit.

[Erech01]

A. Tony Blair is not from Newcastle

B. Newcastle isnt a town, its a city

C. Newcastle isnt rough

D. Our ale isnt supposed to be served warm you stupid sh*t nor does it make you fat, just cause its to strong for you doesnt mean it makes you fat. Deep fried mars bars, however, do.

[haltykern]

im a geordie living in america believe me detroit make newcastle look like the hamptons. any way scotland has lowest life expectancy in the western world its full of rough fat alcoholics

[eleanizzle1]

And this guys from Scotland right?

Where 99 percent of the population are fat,horny and ugly.

[ImTheStig1]

What a load of shit.. not funny at all fucking spasticated fuck.

[ndbailey666]

I am from Newcastle and would like to apologise for all the retarded geordie wannabes that are being pricks below me. This guy is brilliant and I wish they would show him over here, loved him in Drew Carey.

[ImTheStig1]

Yeah Geordie wannabes when infact you're the one saying he's brilliant when everything he's saying here is absolute shit and you know Tony Blair isn't from Newcastle or even England he's from this deranged man's country called Scotland..so mate stop licking his arse cos Newcastle is nowhere near rough as other cities in England..

just cos you're brought up in pottery bank doesn't mean you should lick is crack.

[Onmercury]

So everyone who disagrees with you is a 'retarded Geordie wannabe'? I'm from Newcastle, yet don't find him remotely funny. Sorry, am I retarded? Mustn't disagree with you eh? Moron. He can say what he likes about Newcastle, really doesn't bother me what shite he feeds the Yanks. He should be called thrush - an irritating c**t

[shelz94]

Hey!! Thats unfair.

1. Tony Blair isnt form Newcastle

2. Newcastle isnt rough anymore

3. Cheryl Cole was named the sexiest person in the world, shes from Newcastle.

So we arnt that bad :D

[toonmag50]

im slim , six foot.and geordie.I cant decide to whether to stuff a bottle of dog up his ring or down his posh gob, or simply nut the cunt..Is he a jock or irish plastic yankee-his accent is strange-even canadian

[britishbulldog2008]

is that fake laughing ...coz that cunt isnt fuckin funny!

alcoholic....fudge..remind you of anyone???

aye ye yer daft fuckin twat nob jockey!...

now fuck off and talk more shite to your shitty american audience that dosent know what the fuck your talking aboot!

daft shite!

[britishbulldog2008]

who the fuck is this cunt coz i want to kill him!..

am gonna shove a whole bottle of broon ale up his baggy arse!

[benlovesshields]

What a prick, has he even been to Newcastle?

[HibernianFitbaClub]

This guy is an embarrassment..

Fits in well with the Americans O_o

Tony Blair isn't from Newcastle xD

[SophieBabe29]

wey ei man,

not funny

im jordy and im not fat :l

[neneuk]

what a first class twat this guy is. Dumb americans will laugh at anything

[Johnjamesl3]

eh stuffy english a fukn doubt it and tony bliar aint a geordie hes from durham

[BorgUnimatrix]

The north east is said to be the friendliest place in England.

[liamwitdre]

Nope The Accent is meant to seem the friendliest

[DYKEYD]

What????

[KirsopNUFC19]

LoL tht was shit

[klayed]

cbs is per definition not funny

[inmehead]

this is shittttttttttt, not funny

[weetabixHEED2009]

i reckon we should kill this bastard!!!!

im a mackem but this jock is a twat

[7Greggas7]

twat

[Samson5090]

Why is it im from newcastle and i can laugh at this but others scream at this guy? i personily think its really funny

[tuned2008]

whats his adress im gonna kill him shithead jock

[talkwench]

Interesting how the English have difficulty writing and speaking english?

Durham was Tony Blair's constituency.

[UxKxNxOxWxN]

and im from newcastle dick

[UxKxNxOxWxN]

stuffy english fuck off u yankee bastards any english person would kick any of your fat arses or should i write asses for you 4 u

[Catazar3000]

only americans could possibly find this bullcrap funny...

[angelofirreverence]

Hoo is this twat?

Cannay says I care for is prattle...

[skind9119]

tony blare is from durham... he is a shit comedian, yank wanabee

[swallace27]

this stuped scot dislikes newcastle because of a wall situated there called hadrians wall which was built to keep the schots OUT!!

[OfNmW1]

Newcastle is probs the nicest place in england that ive been to, love it

[Thumbs0nFire]

Newcastle is great, it has some of the best night life in the country

[0bverse]

What? What the Hell?!

Tony Blair isn't from Newcastle.... Tony Blair isn't even ENGLISH.

He was born in Edinburgh... ever hear of it, Ferguson?

It's in SCOTLAND.

His parents were from Glasgow... as were Craig Ferguson's.

Must be difficult to remember all that when you're concentrating so hard on being a pretend yank.

[h100spfld]

This just in:

Newcastle Brown Ale is to be renamed Newcastle Down Ale.

UP THE VILLA!

[sup888]

newcastle is a city not a town limp dick.

but we'll let him off, hes scottish. they havent evolved fully yet.

[Swiftorisbald]

He is as funny as cancer.

[DW01]

This fuckwit was probably extradited from the UK for being a complete knob and Yanky wannabe.

[grwn1982]

he is as about as funny as a hernia

[baattenburg]

who the fuck is this unfunny loser?

he's got the accent of a camp scot, and all the smarm and sense of humour of an american.

one of the absolute least laughable and most uneducated, naive things ive ever seen in my life. he needs a good stabbing.

[chrismiddleton34]

who the fuck is this dick jockie

[fenwick6666]

He says Newcastle's rough and he lives in Scotland? Talk about irony..

[spackerandy]

who the fuck is this guy ? 1. tony blair aint from newcastle. 2, newcastles probably the most friendly place ive ever been. 3. who the fuck is this guy ?

having been to both detroit and newcastle i know which one i can safely walk around at night

[cbrzyx]

I loves me some Newcastle beer.

[slw3000]

waw.....ur not funny :/

[hughze123]

whos this twat newcastle is belta nd not every 1 in newcastle thinks there hard coz if your hard in newcastle ye keep it to yer self and this guy can fuk himself coz tony blair didnt even live in newcastle

[NUFCAlice]

Newcastle is amaziing! i miss it so much :(:(:( every time i go back i always sing the song Home Newcastle - by Busker. pure ledgund mate.

[timhewison]

he is full of shit Newcastle is a great place and newcastle brown ale is better cold not warm the tosser.

[mrfluffyjoni]

Tony Blair isn't from newcastle, we was born in edingborough. The closest he got to newcastke is when he lived in Durham for a bit.

[andy1990nufc4life]

is he a comedian because his crack is wank

[npowerjohn]

You're all right

[illmitchjax]

best City in the world. honestly... visit here, has everything you could want right on your door step, beautiful buildings, friendly people, night life, perfect surrounding country side, opportunities, everything.

[scottyjay94]

friendly ppl?

u kiddin m8?

everywhere you gan is full of pure radgies who do ppl in

newcastle(where im from) is full of dickheads who think there solid!

[stupotcheats]

the only type of person who would say "pure radgie" is a dick head chava from a dodgy sinkhole council estate, im from newcastle and i dont think im hard and i certainly am not a dickhead. newcastle has got to be one of the nicest places in britain and i work all over the country and have done for many years so i know for a fact, i even turn down relocation packages cos they want me down "sarf" cos cock-en-eys are dumb and dont know what there doing.

[scottyjay94]

obv are a dickhead if u think am a tramp from a council estate u mug,

set a time and place and al knock u the fuck out u daft cunt

[stupotcheats]

pop next door im the one hanging out of your mothers arse. nob the unfriendly people are people like you who "think there solid" you "pure radgie" or DAPPER

[scottyjay94]

"""dick head chava from a dodgy sinkhole council estate, """ oh yeah im unfriendly u arsewipe, ur the fuckin prick m8, is it my fault a live ona council estate? narr it isnt its me familys u fuckin arsehole, well come on then youv got the cheek, al meet u since u live in newcastle and kcik the living fuck out of you!

[stupotcheats]

if you scroll up slightly to your first post then you will see that you described yourself and as much as i would get a thrill out of " doing in" a 14 yr old ill pass on this one. no it isnt your fault you live on a council estate but it is your fault that you go on like a dickhead who thinks he is solid, typical of an immature, uneducated embarassment to the good people of newcastle

[BOROHERO9]

newcastle makes bosnia look like the hamptons

[LEONX9]

Newcastle is like the best city in the world wtf is this jock on?

[straylightrun84]

nout wrong with the toon

[renthead24]

except our football. lol

[CULAVE]

Tony Blair is not from Newcastle upon Tyne. He was born in Edinburgh and his constituency as PM was Sedgefield in County Durham. The only Newcastle connection im aware of was that he apparently supported the football club.