Get Over Your Screwed Up Past (5 tips)

[jo961blue]

I thought this was great info Beth - and I really like your down-to-earth style. Are you on LinkedIn as would like to link up? Best wishes, Jo (Life and Business Coach, Blue Parakeet Coaching)

[BethSmyls]

@jo961blue Thanks Jo, and yes I am on Linked In. You tube won't want me to post the lnik, so look up 'Beth Burgess, Recovery Coach'

[MrTerror321]

The best advice I can give to anyone with a screwed up past is forget what everyone else thinks and do whatever the fuck you want to do... as long as it's not murder or rape

[axeltrinity26]

ALL THE WINS FOR THAT DR.WHO REFERENCE.

ALL.THE.WINS.

[BethSmyls]

@scrupolouse No it's not your fault, but if you want to change how you feel, unfortunately it is up to you to do the work. Is that fair? Hell no. Will it make you hurt less? Hell yes. It took me a long time to accept that, but ultimately it has made me much happier and able to live an amazing life these days.

[darrylspillane]

Hi beth see you,ve been getting some bad comments there hun,just wanted to say i thought it was a very nice video.as for me well i,ve been trying to get over the past for years,but it always pulls me back.hey ho.i,m still waiting for that time machine.could put everything right in one day then.still thanks for your advice i do try but i doubt i,ll ever believe in myself. :(

[BethSmyls]

@darrylspillane Aw thanks Darryl - they're mostly good comments, but there will always be some bad. It doesn't bother me because I know what I am saying is valid. I'm sure I would've been negative when I was suffering too. It's so hard to believe in anything good when you feel like that, but i'm glad I was able to find my way. You will too, the first part is being willing - and you are.

[xmido]

Summary:

1. Decide not to be held back by the past.

2. Recognize that self esteem is not actually linked to what you have or where you are in life.

3. Celebrate the things that your struggle has given you.

4. Be a friend to yourself and not a critic.

5. Look forward to what you can have now, look at the potential you got and take action.

[GrooveInYourOwnTime]

the only secret is there's nothing to get over. Humans still believe their so called problems are real. no struggle

at

all

[cigiss]

@GrooveInYourOwnTime hmmm, this.

[bazzbazzley]

Basically!!!!!! You've no idea,experience or idea of what you're talking about.

You maybe on script but you're way off reality.

[BethSmyls]

@bazzbazzley I'm not experienced at making videos Bazz, so sorry about all the 'basically's. I do know what I'm talking about but it's quite unnatural to be talking to a webcam rather than a person, so I've got to get used to that!

[Uhavebeenfrimponged]

great video thanks

i put myself down a bit.

[JohnJamesMaloney]

Thank you for this simple but enlightening message....you didn't have to do this video but you did....bless you and all the best!

[BethSmyls]

@MrTerror321 It's a shame you feel that way - as I said to Yaffa, try NLP. I've got over some horrible stuff with a combo of NLP & DBT. Please don't lose faith in humankind because of your experiences - there are some genuine people out there..

[MrTerror321]

@BethSmyls NLP and DBT ?

[BethSmyls]

@MrTerror321 Neuro-linguistic-Programming and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. I use NLP to just zap the pain out of trauma (it works on your neurological system) and then DBT to manage your mood. Worked for me when absolutely nothing else would.

[scrupolouse]

@BethSmyls Dont lose our faith in human kind because there are SOME genuine people out there!? LOL!!! Well for every GENUINE person, there is a hundred rapists, perverts, wife beaters, blackmailers, terrorists, kidnappers etc etc the list goes on for all eternity . . . I would MUCH rather put my faith into leeches and maggots

[BethSmyls]

@scrupolouse I understand your point-of-view and your need to be cautious. It can be a tough world, which clearly you have experineced - but that's why you've gotta seek out the right people. They're worth finding.

[poocharini]

I would like to thank you so much for this Beth, its just what I needed to hear right now. I have really been fightimg with myself to stop reliving my past mistakes but have not truly learnt to let go. What you have said in this video has put things in a different light for me and I will definately remind myself of it every day. You should be proud of yourself- these few simple words from you help so many people :)

[yafffa]

my subconscious still contains the little girl that was frozen when the trauma happened. I am healing that part of me since years. I do want to let go of my past. I am aware that there's nothing I can about it, and that it's not going to change. But than when the situation comes, my protection stands up again and creates hell - the same way over and over again. I'm at the point where I watch myself and try to figure out what do I do that stops me from living my dream BTW... I don't know yet...

[BethSmyls]

@yafffa Yaffa, thanks for your question. Try NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) and/or EFT (emotional Freedom Technique) - that's what I use to 'disable' traumas - this cured me of my agoraphobia. It's amazing stuff - it 'rewires' your memories, taking the pain out of them. That was the best day of my life when I found NLP.

[yafffa]

Hey Beth.

- than what to do with the patterns that are wired into our brain, our subconscious memories. The memories and the emotional patterns that are stored in our subconscious "mind". Like I mean, I can understand and feel that there's nothing I can do about the past, but

[terry4144]

I've been telling myself this every day for the last 6 years but it doesn't help

[BethSmyls]

@terry4144 This is just a starting point, Terry. Sorry to hear you're struggling. It took me much more than just a few tips to get properly well. That is why I became a Recovery coach - to put all the tools that work together in one place. I used NLP, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, EFT and all sorts to get well. Have you considered working 1:1 with someone like me?

[terry4144]

@BethSmyls had counselling and CBT complete waste of time

[BethSmyls]

@terry4144 Yeah CBT didn't help me either - I found it too invalidating. I had counselling too and my counsellor was lovely but it didn't fix my issues. NLP and DBT have helped me enormously. Please look into it to see if it can help you.

[infinitesimotel]

Never truer words spoken.

[BethSmyls]

Thanks for all your lovely comments guys. I'll post another video soon :)

[HowToDraw111]

You are a really trusty person, I <3 you :)

[andicatz]

Hi Beth and thanks for your helping us rebuild our lives. I really like your "straight talking" approach.

[mattymatt1987]

Beth what you say makes sense and you are trying to help others which is really good.

But sometimes it's just not that simple. For me i was abused by my ex girlfriend for 7 years then she alleged it was the opposite way, my children have now been put up for adoption. As a result of her abuse i'm pretty isolated. Job situation makes it all worse too, doesn't seem to be any work out there. I'd love to be as optimistic as you but unfortunatly for some people life just isn't that way.

[BethSmyls]

@mattymatt1987 Sorry to hear of your hard times at the moment Matt. Please take a look at the bio on my website - I've come from a place of being a hopeless alcoholic, agoraphobic self-harmer with Borderline Personality Disorder! I never used to be optimistic - but you can change your life, I promise you. I've taken control of my life and so can you.

[SPFXsynthesisers]

Great video and your hot.

[adamsa222]

@SPFXsynthesisers I think you need glasses

[BOXFRESH99]

great video! i look forward to more videos!

[BethSmyls]

Sorry to hear about that slywlf, but you sound like you're on the right track. Be kind to yourself and you can rebuild your life. All journeys are made up of baby steps at first. You sound like a very sensible lady and I know you'll be fine :)

[slywlf]

Good timing for me - as a relatively new widow (not quite 4 months now) with lots of "issues" and "baggage" this common sense advice is just about what I've been telling myself as it is. Nice to find verification that I'm on the right track. I would add that, like dieting and New Year resolutions, you should try not to beat up on yourself when you backslide - rather say OK, baby steps, pick yourself up and start again.