I just finished the game half an hour ago. It was terrible. Don't play it. Every single part of it was absolutely awful. I'm gonna play 13-2 and hope they didn't botch that, but not for a few months so I can gradually regain my sanity.
I would love to know which genius at Square Enix decided having random instadeath that is based solely on chance on the game's final boss was a good idea. Was it just trying to squeeze out a few more hours out, so that the ending felt more satisfying?
Good! you sir are far more tolerant than I, hope you ready for FFXIII-"3", yes "3" that's not a typo and should give you a Hint what to expect in FFXIII-2 since the developers at Squareenix actually think they're onto something "good" with the FFXIII universe (excluding Type0 and FF Versus since they actually look and play GOOD)
Come on... FF7 was flashy? I know it had a convoluted plot unlike FF6 that you liked a lot, but there was a lot more substance to the characters and plot.
Besides, RPGs never make sense anyway, when you think about it. The ff series already acknowledges that and provides us with a riveting narrative. I hope you give some of the other Ffs a try.
@herofromthedark Anyone who plays video game has most likly played FF in their lifetime,and many of them hate it.I myself cant stand 7 or 9 which people rave about all the time,but enjoy 8 and 10.If you enjoy the characters and story youll enjoy the games but if not,they are complete shit.Which is why I hate XIII the most.
Honestly I LOVED the game more when I hadn't played it yet. The commercials and graphics looked beautiful and amazing, but the actual game was horrible -_-
I know the feeling, the trailers made me envision a long well told story and HUGE world akin to the detailed one in FFXII which i truly enjoyed traveling from city to city but when i got THIS game more than half the story was in the game menu, a lot of questions were never answered, BUT WAIT! there's FFXIII-'2' which will be OK to buy until you realize that the developers casually mention that the game was made from LEFTOVERS of what COULD be in the first game... fuck
@FantomOmega I know. After like the first 2 or 3 times I was already sick of reading the story out instead of having it shown/told to me, but I forced myself to just so I could know wtf was going on. It's like the game blacked out only during the parts where SHIT ACTUALLY HAPPENED and then relayed it to you in a giant wall of text, then let you carry on running down a hallway. Honestly I think the whole thing was just a huge disappointment.
Worst offender is Pulse since I wasted hours to get the platinum trophy since I planned on selling it. Pulse had a lot of running, silence, confusing as HELL map and next to no cut-scenes relating to the story on how everyone that lived there gradually got screwed over, was there a civil war between the people who willingly get focuses and people who wanted to go into hiding to not be given one? also the lack of boss fights (that are tied to the story) pisses me off
@FantomOmega haha yeah. I honestly couldn't entertain myself with it enough to keep playing it. All it had going for it in my book was pretty graphics. Honestly it was awesome to play when I was so tired I was mostly asleep but wide awake it's boring as hell.
i had been really excited for this game up until its launch when i got it. i was really bummed to see that it wasn't the game i was expecting, it was worse! honestly, this game was the biggest disappointment in my life.
I think a lot of people had mixed feelings on this game. I loved the battle system, I adored the graphics, and I got really sucked into the story. I actually hate FF13-2. I hate the characters, I hate the story, I just can't even finish it.
Everything yahtzee says in this review is 200% true.
Though my guilty pleasure is everysingle Final fantasy number game its not actually something you want to talk about when your friends are bluffing their skills on Modern Warfare or Halo. I dare you to try it.
@demonceage Because Yahtzee refuses to acknowledge the existence of FF9, citing the fact that Zidane has a tail and all of his lines are cheesy one liners. OH. Right.
lol the only turn based rpg I managed to sit trough was Chrono Trigger and that was so fkin linear it pretty much was a series of non stop interruptions of story and battles. And the story was the good kind of crazy back in the day. However in the middle of the game you could simply fight the end boss by travelling to dooms day and yeah pretty much spam him with a certain combo... xD hilarious. just fuck the story and kill the main bad guy.
@USEYAHOO when it comes to Final FU the man is right on the money... take an example from NON turn based RPGs. Huge replayability, a fuckton of sidestories/missions/quests. MULTIPLAYER that doesnt SUCK ASS! And pretty much realistic battles yeah you know the good kind of realistic where Health doesnt regenerate itself like the consoeltards would like it to do. Back to the roots!
If you are still doing review, may I request that you do a Tales game. It's a lot more popular in Japan than Final Fantasy that actually has action and is a lot flashier.
@FlayvorOfEvil I reckon if you're an rpg being reviewed by yathzee you'd best be of the western sensibilities or just be offbeat in terms of how jrpgs are generally produced. Otherwise it's a waste of time.
When my brother started playing it, I watched, and I thought "Oh boy! This is going to be good!" then I relized they threw out the open world exploring... and towns... and the fact that if the main character dies in battle it's game over even if everyone else is alive with phoenix downs... and everything was one straight fucking path.... AND IT SOMEHOW IS WORTHY OF A FFXIII-2?!
@Grimno God you don't know how much I wish they actually made good games these days. Why have such beautiful graphics if you're going to waste it on a SHIT GAME?! It's horrible!
@Grimno You do know that they haven't made a game like you just described sense.... OH WAIT FF 7 IN 19 FUCKING 97 Try some fucking other arguments then... It's not FF7 so it must suck.
@Grimno You know what, this is my bad. I assumed you were like every other 15 year old and related everything to FF7 I guess what I meant was, that it's been years sense a Final fantasy game has had free roam and exploratory towns with side quests.... That is unless you count that online thing.... It's just an old argument that can be related to every other final fantasy game after FF9. Just because a game doesn't have old elements of the series doesn't mean it can't be good. FF10 is my favortie
@Grimno You know what, this is my bad. I assumed you were like every other 15 year old and related everything to FF7 I guess what I meant was, that it's been years sense a Final fantasy game has had free roam and exploratory towns with side quests.... That is unless you count that online thing.... It's just an old argument that can be related to every other final fantasy game after FF9. Just because a game doesn't have old elements of the series doesn't mean it can't be good. FF10 is my fav
@Grimno I know lots of games in which the game ends if the main character dies *cough*kingdomhearts*cough* and I dont understand why people hate change so damn much.
I'm gonna be honest: I'd rather steal it. I got XIII when it first came out on my PS3, and it's a good thing I switched with my brother every chapter because I was getting bored to tears. The only "fun" I had playing the game was working towards the platinum trophy afterwards. This last December I found that GameStop was selling XIII new for $10. I laughed, of course, and just to humor them I decided to pick up the 360 version. I wanted to enjoy the story, but...I just couldn't.
I find it strange that his bias towards JRPGs begins as VII rolls around. VII wasn't bad at all, at least there was a balance between the substance of a story and cinematics to engage the audience. Now, all Final Fantasy has become is nothing more than a testosterone-driven flashfest of impossible acrobatics and unbelievable sexual tension that must have placed both the audience and the actors in uncomfortable positions. I miss Sakaguchi's renditions of each FF universe...
Funny that my friend bought me this game and with out looking at any reviews online or anyone's recommendation I put it in the 360. (I loved FF9+10) I also quit at around 5-6 hours because It was hard to stay awake. I would literally hold forward and auto attack while mashing the A button.
Gets good after 20 hours? I got all achievements in 27 hours and I still don't think the game is any good. It was just a waste of my time while satisfying my need for RPG farming I guess.
the fact that the story is so vague is the reason why i can't get into this game. my boyfriend loves it, i want to love it too, but it seems like i would have to start from the very first damn game to know whats going on. they gotta make it a bit more friendly to people new to the series..
@roguebabydoll Each FF is a different story, different characters, different world... the only things they have in common is the title, chocobos moogles and some random guy called Cid. Problem is with FF you'll have the ones you'll like or don't like but after that you can't really do much since Square usually don't make sequels for most of them kind of leaving fans of the older games in the dark.
@ANGRYMAPLE Not really a bad thing, I like then anthology idea because it let's them explore new and different areas with story and characters without being tied down to a single overarching plot, mind you that's kind of getting ruined with them only wanting to focus on the same plot elements time and again, but the premise on it's own merits isn't bad.
It gets good 20 hrs in? I stopped playing 20 hours in. The only reason I kept playing was to find out what the plot is. After 20 fucking hours, I still had no idea. I did what Yahtzee here did and read their plot summaries in the menu. Took an extra 20 min, but at least I now somewhat understand why the hell I doing everything I was doing. I'd like to keep harping on the lousy plot, but the gameplay is what made me stop playing it. I was willing to deal with the lousy gameplay long enough to get
@DragoRidley17 Bahamut, then quit. After 20 hrs, I had Shiva and Odin. Bahamut was the 5th one you get. Wasn't worth it anymore. Oh, and Vanille was more bearable than Hope because I could ignore her and wouldn't miss anything.
It really doesnt fucking matter what the characters are or the plot is, is a ff game. If you are a real fan of ff then it shouldnt matter. and every start of a ff game is linear, and every single ff game is linear, for it has its story and its only going to finish if you go linear. sure you can have all the wandering around in it, which is awesome for any game, but every ff game is linear. although ff13 is more linear than most, its still one of my favorite ff games.
You got through 5 hours of it? Impressive, I couldn't even get through 45 minutes.
While the others admitted took some time to get into as well, as least they had characters I could moderately care about, I find it hard to care about characters who are more stereotypical than a Bruce Willis action movie villain.
Fucking hilarious, loved it, though I completed the game I still enjoyed it. Wasn't the best in the world but nor was it the worst. Would rather something 6 but I doubt we will see anything of that calibre again xp
Im surprised the -massive- drove of mindless Final Fantasy fanboys (and girls) from the Escapist forums haven't defectated all over this comments section already, because they basically droned out any intelligent discussion in the Escapist comments with whining about Yahtzee being unfair and how great it is literally a DAYs worth of gameplay in. Bother that nonsense.
I loaded up the demo for 13-2 and as soon as the first cutscene was over shut my xbox off. After trying multiple times to give Final Fantasy games a chance...I just can't do it. They're attrocious. My tv screen looked like someone threw up a menu and strange colors onto it and I was expected to know wtf to do.
@MasteroChieftan ummm thats every video game now a days, especially in this generation. but i do agree with the whole ff13-2 thing. it seems they tried too hard to make it too flashy, it needs to go back to the old ff 7 or even X style when its simple and yet challenging at the same time, not a cluster fuck of numbers and attacking
@jmar4life At least kingdom hearts was palatable... The Disney characters are questionable but that's to connect to the all the young kiddies and turn them into FF loving weaboos when they reach their teens.
@bourky93 I dunno if FF fanboys are weeaboos per se. Weeaboos tend to play other games, like SMT games or the Tales series - AKA games that are good sometimes. FF fanboys are a whole different monster, sucking up shit over and over and defending that same shit to the death.
Seriously, try to find a game site that doesn't have at least one discussion about how FF7 was a "masterpiece of storytelling," no matter how ridiculous that is.
@GatekeeperAidan But... But I like the Tales series :c ... lol, even though you are right (not the story telling part, I personally think all the FF stories are pretty fuckin corny (except for number 1 which had no actual characters, just heroes classes and felt more like a straight RPG and was actually good for its time). However, by definition, even liking anything Japanese related a little bit makes you a weaboo. Though FF weaboos are definitely a breed of their own in terms of attitude.
My only Square experiences were Chrono Trigger and FF6, and that was only because of SNES emulators at a point when I couldn't afford the computer to play modern games some time in the late 90's. Looks like I hit the high notes...
To the uneducated viewers out there, just a reminder that all the things Yahtzee hates about Final Fantasy came AFTER Seven. Only two characters are teenagers and neither are the main one and you'd bloody wish that everything took place in a cutscene with all the goddamn minigames making sure that you the player do EVERYTHING. People need to go back and remind themselves why Seven took off so much. Then play Eight and weep that it all died there.
I agree that final fantasy 13 sort of sucked balls but am I the only one that don't complain about the fighting system. I played it for more than 5 hours (it does get better but it never gets good) anyways maybe I just suck at this but I found the difficulty level of the battles pretty appropriate... that's the one part of the game that's at least okay.
Never really did enjoy final fantasy. Truth be told, the only JRPG I even own any more is The Legend of Dragoon. Call me a dick if you want, but managing to sell my copy of FF VII for 300 bucks is the best use out of the bloody game.
@jacobholdcroft I have this uncanny knack for finding complete idiots with incredibly deep pockets. It's usually a source of frustration but it is very useful at times.
I stopped giving a shit about this series after entry 9. It was the only one that felt like a fucking Final Fantasy game. I didn't even like 7 that much. Still not quite sure it's held in such a regard that I can pick up the much more palatable (more fun and upbeat, less angsty bullshit) Final Fantasy IX for $15 and can only find FFVII in a greatest hits format for $75. Fucking hype.
@RiisWolfy O yes you can but its not very efficient and even then it becomes a case of spamming that Triangle button instead of the X button every 2 sec instead of 10.
@RyuuHawke well i'm not intending on the spam part. It is effect for times you need to act now or your chain gauge will reset. But you see more people wait for their ATB fullly recharge hoping they stop the gauge from reseting on time, but couldn't. Had they only known they still act without a full ATB....You can also cancel your actions back pressing B or O when you need to stop, change jobs, and do whatever right away. =3 also suprising at how many don't know that.
do 1 on assassin's creed
jacobjtec 7 hours ago
i feel like im the only one who likes FF13 and FF13-2 xD or well i guess -play's FF8-
MrJamesFord101 13 hours ago
Theres quite a few biased comments on those who like the series and those who dont.
Point in case, some FF games have been good. 13 is not one of them.
krazaykev99 1 day ago
All of the names make a lot more sense in Japanese...
FighterPilot72 3 days ago
Yahtzee I think I lvoe you XD
FInally someone else who pretty much dislikes FF XIII as much as me!!!
SPSimounFan 3 days ago
I just finished the game half an hour ago. It was terrible. Don't play it. Every single part of it was absolutely awful. I'm gonna play 13-2 and hope they didn't botch that, but not for a few months so I can gradually regain my sanity.
I would love to know which genius at Square Enix decided having random instadeath that is based solely on chance on the game's final boss was a good idea. Was it just trying to squeeze out a few more hours out, so that the ending felt more satisfying?
ruscour023 3 days ago
@ruscour023
Good! you sir are far more tolerant than I, hope you ready for FFXIII-"3", yes "3" that's not a typo and should give you a Hint what to expect in FFXIII-2 since the developers at Squareenix actually think they're onto something "good" with the FFXIII universe (excluding Type0 and FF Versus since they actually look and play GOOD)
FantomOmega 1 day ago
I started liking the game the first time I lost to a boss. The second it required thought, I fell in love with it.
Strife159Highloch 3 days ago
The game got bearable 20 hours in.
AtTheSpeedOfCheese 4 days ago
I played a used copy of FF13 but then is topped, because i don't like self tourture
secret759 4 days ago
Come on... FF7 was flashy? I know it had a convoluted plot unlike FF6 that you liked a lot, but there was a lot more substance to the characters and plot.
Besides, RPGs never make sense anyway, when you think about it. The ff series already acknowledges that and provides us with a riveting narrative. I hope you give some of the other Ffs a try.
herofromthedark 5 days ago
@herofromthedark Anyone who plays video game has most likly played FF in their lifetime,and many of them hate it.I myself cant stand 7 or 9 which people rave about all the time,but enjoy 8 and 10.If you enjoy the characters and story youll enjoy the games but if not,they are complete shit.Which is why I hate XIII the most.
666MetalMatt 5 days ago
Honestly I LOVED the game more when I hadn't played it yet. The commercials and graphics looked beautiful and amazing, but the actual game was horrible -_-
DeathnoteBB 6 days ago
@DeathnoteBB
I know the feeling, the trailers made me envision a long well told story and HUGE world akin to the detailed one in FFXII which i truly enjoyed traveling from city to city but when i got THIS game more than half the story was in the game menu, a lot of questions were never answered, BUT WAIT! there's FFXIII-'2' which will be OK to buy until you realize that the developers casually mention that the game was made from LEFTOVERS of what COULD be in the first game... fuck
FantomOmega 4 days ago
@FantomOmega I know. After like the first 2 or 3 times I was already sick of reading the story out instead of having it shown/told to me, but I forced myself to just so I could know wtf was going on. It's like the game blacked out only during the parts where SHIT ACTUALLY HAPPENED and then relayed it to you in a giant wall of text, then let you carry on running down a hallway. Honestly I think the whole thing was just a huge disappointment.
DeathnoteBB 4 days ago
@DeathnoteBB
Worst offender is Pulse since I wasted hours to get the platinum trophy since I planned on selling it. Pulse had a lot of running, silence, confusing as HELL map and next to no cut-scenes relating to the story on how everyone that lived there gradually got screwed over, was there a civil war between the people who willingly get focuses and people who wanted to go into hiding to not be given one? also the lack of boss fights (that are tied to the story) pisses me off
FantomOmega 4 days ago
@FantomOmega I don't think I've heard of Pulse, or if I have I haven't seen much of it, but I'll just take your word for it I guess :)
DeathnoteBB 4 days ago
@DeathnoteBB I mean Grand Pulse (the land under Cocoon) in the game... wait, you saved your sanity by not finishing the game? lucky bastard
FantomOmega 4 days ago
@FantomOmega haha yeah. I honestly couldn't entertain myself with it enough to keep playing it. All it had going for it in my book was pretty graphics. Honestly it was awesome to play when I was so tired I was mostly asleep but wide awake it's boring as hell.
DeathnoteBB 4 days ago
The only FF games I've really played was Advanced Tactics 2 (or tactics advanced 2, idk the order...) and FFIV.
Well I have played 13 but I don't count that cause I could only stand an hour and I HATE IT.
DeathnoteBB 6 days ago
Vanille = Retard
VampireBoy0009 6 days ago
I didn't even make it an hour.
InterstellerOverdriv 6 days ago
i had been really excited for this game up until its launch when i got it. i was really bummed to see that it wasn't the game i was expecting, it was worse! honestly, this game was the biggest disappointment in my life.
giddyupgroudon 1 week ago
SHUT UP I AM!
shitlordsunited 1 week ago
FINAL FANTASY VI is the best game in existence.
uzay2000 1 week ago
@tevanazelta it killed the fanboy in me too... But I console myself by playing FF III via IoS
GreysonMacAllister 1 week ago
Final Fantasy 13 is the game that killed the FF Fangirl in me...I hope its proud of itself -.-
TevanaZelta 1 week ago 15
@TevanaZelta its probably because of enix if they hadnt joined squaresoft we would have fucking blown minds by now
morgsy010 1 week ago
I actually consider thhis to be one of my favorite FF games. : /
daandriod 1 week ago
@daandriod
I think a lot of people had mixed feelings on this game. I loved the battle system, I adored the graphics, and I got really sucked into the story. I actually hate FF13-2. I hate the characters, I hate the story, I just can't even finish it.
LOLdotjaypeg 1 week ago
@LOLdotjaypeg I would gladly take the game off your hands for you If given the chance: )
daandriod 1 week ago
@daandriod Y U NO LIKE FF7
IT ALMOST HAD A KILLING SPREE
morgsy010 1 week ago
@morgsy010 Cloud was badass to.
I still love that too. Onne of my faborites
daandriod 1 week ago
@daandriod i spent more than i would to get final fantasy 7 on a figure of him its still sealed ive had it for 2 years
morgsy010 1 week ago
like if you paused the video the and read the rainbow
mightyifrit 1 week ago
Everything yahtzee says in this review is 200% true.
Though my guilty pleasure is everysingle Final fantasy number game its not actually something you want to talk about when your friends are bluffing their skills on Modern Warfare or Halo. I dare you to try it.
xRocketzFighterx 1 week ago
banging coconuts together, monty pyhton reference ftw :d
chukas88 1 week ago
nom nom nom face
demonceage 2 weeks ago
wait... why isnt zidan kooky spice. he has a tail and all of his lines are cheesey one liners
demonceage 2 weeks ago
@demonceage Because Yahtzee refuses to acknowledge the existence of FF9, citing the fact that Zidane has a tail and all of his lines are cheesy one liners. OH. Right.
Astrokid248 1 week ago
lol the only turn based rpg I managed to sit trough was Chrono Trigger and that was so fkin linear it pretty much was a series of non stop interruptions of story and battles. And the story was the good kind of crazy back in the day. However in the middle of the game you could simply fight the end boss by travelling to dooms day and yeah pretty much spam him with a certain combo... xD hilarious. just fuck the story and kill the main bad guy.
USEYAHOO 2 weeks ago
@USEYAHOO when it comes to Final FU the man is right on the money... take an example from NON turn based RPGs. Huge replayability, a fuckton of sidestories/missions/quests. MULTIPLAYER that doesnt SUCK ASS! And pretty much realistic battles yeah you know the good kind of realistic where Health doesnt regenerate itself like the consoeltards would like it to do. Back to the roots!
USEYAHOO 2 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner Yes
NEpatsProductions1 2 weeks ago
Be nice to Vanille, she has problems :p
Neptunequeen42 2 weeks ago
@Neptunequeen42
Still technically an alien, though.
Usayasha 2 weeks ago
Comment removed
DyaSlayer 2 weeks ago
Well I for one liked 13. I'm sorry you did not.
Legendzerox 2 weeks ago
and now they make FFXIII-II
haosboss 2 weeks ago
If you are still doing review, may I request that you do a Tales game. It's a lot more popular in Japan than Final Fantasy that actually has action and is a lot flashier.
FlayvorOfEvil 2 weeks ago
@FlayvorOfEvil The tales games actually had a decent game (tales of symphonia, my secret lover seeing as I hate those kind of games)
candymountain5 2 weeks ago
@FlayvorOfEvil
I'd like to argue on that "flashier" part...I wouldn't compare the two series anyway, because they got a whole different feeling about them...
theEisbergmann 2 weeks ago
@FlayvorOfEvil I reckon if you're an rpg being reviewed by yathzee you'd best be of the western sensibilities or just be offbeat in terms of how jrpgs are generally produced. Otherwise it's a waste of time.
shadowhexogram 1 week ago
Off to play FFXIII i go!!!!! :D
VoreTechz1985 2 weeks ago
@DyaSlayer You are the first of atleast 30 ppl to say no so i pretend i didnt read your comment
FearlessSpinner 3 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner Real Mature.
DyaSlayer 2 weeks ago
When my brother started playing it, I watched, and I thought "Oh boy! This is going to be good!" then I relized they threw out the open world exploring... and towns... and the fact that if the main character dies in battle it's game over even if everyone else is alive with phoenix downs... and everything was one straight fucking path.... AND IT SOMEHOW IS WORTHY OF A FFXIII-2?!
Grimno 3 weeks ago 25
@Grimno The original story was too big for one game, so they made it into two... I don't get it either
TehGamingMofo 1 week ago
@Grimno God you don't know how much I wish they actually made good games these days. Why have such beautiful graphics if you're going to waste it on a SHIT GAME?! It's horrible!
DeathnoteBB 6 days ago
@Grimno You do know that they haven't made a game like you just described sense.... OH WAIT FF 7 IN 19 FUCKING 97 Try some fucking other arguments then... It's not FF7 so it must suck.
Squashylemon 2 days ago
@Squashylemon You haven't played many Final Fantasy games have you?
Grimno 2 days ago
@Grimno You know what, this is my bad. I assumed you were like every other 15 year old and related everything to FF7 I guess what I meant was, that it's been years sense a Final fantasy game has had free roam and exploratory towns with side quests.... That is unless you count that online thing.... It's just an old argument that can be related to every other final fantasy game after FF9. Just because a game doesn't have old elements of the series doesn't mean it can't be good. FF10 is my favortie
Squashylemon 2 days ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Grimno You know what, this is my bad. I assumed you were like every other 15 year old and related everything to FF7 I guess what I meant was, that it's been years sense a Final fantasy game has had free roam and exploratory towns with side quests.... That is unless you count that online thing.... It's just an old argument that can be related to every other final fantasy game after FF9. Just because a game doesn't have old elements of the series doesn't mean it can't be good. FF10 is my fav
Squashylemon 2 days ago
@Grimno I know lots of games in which the game ends if the main character dies *cough*kingdomhearts*cough* and I dont understand why people hate change so damn much.
P0PTArrtSxD 2 days ago
The picture at 4:58 left me in stitches lolololol
krazaykev99 3 weeks ago
This game was possibly the biggest blunder Square Enix has ever done or, dare I say it, will ever do.
GoddyofWar 3 weeks ago
@GoddyofWar
You haven't played the sequel yet, have you? Ha ha ha.
kensredemption 3 weeks ago
@kensredemption Nope and I have absolutely no desire too.
GoddyofWar 3 weeks ago
@GoddyofWar
I'm gonna be honest: I'd rather steal it. I got XIII when it first came out on my PS3, and it's a good thing I switched with my brother every chapter because I was getting bored to tears. The only "fun" I had playing the game was working towards the platinum trophy afterwards. This last December I found that GameStop was selling XIII new for $10. I laughed, of course, and just to humor them I decided to pick up the 360 version. I wanted to enjoy the story, but...I just couldn't.
kensredemption 3 weeks ago
This is pretty spot on.
Zinarei 3 weeks ago
I find it strange that his bias towards JRPGs begins as VII rolls around. VII wasn't bad at all, at least there was a balance between the substance of a story and cinematics to engage the audience. Now, all Final Fantasy has become is nothing more than a testosterone-driven flashfest of impossible acrobatics and unbelievable sexual tension that must have placed both the audience and the actors in uncomfortable positions. I miss Sakaguchi's renditions of each FF universe...
kensredemption 3 weeks ago
@kensredemption well then go play his games there really good actually there good ole gems pretty underated to.
DocKing236 3 weeks ago
@DocKing236
I have been, actually. I even bought the classics from both the Wii Shop Channel as well as the PlayStation Store.
kensredemption 3 weeks ago
So, which Final Fantasy will actually be the final fucking one?
gateship2 3 weeks ago
@gateship2
Final Fantasy Apocalypse. Take my word for it.
kensredemption 3 weeks ago
Finally, someone who can perfectly describe what the damn game is ACTUALLY like.
prthiv 3 weeks ago
such a shit game
TheDragonl91 3 weeks ago
Funny that my friend bought me this game and with out looking at any reviews online or anyone's recommendation I put it in the 360. (I loved FF9+10) I also quit at around 5-6 hours because It was hard to stay awake. I would literally hold forward and auto attack while mashing the A button.
Panncakerock 3 weeks ago
Gets good after 20 hours? I got all achievements in 27 hours and I still don't think the game is any good. It was just a waste of my time while satisfying my need for RPG farming I guess.
Jussii117 3 weeks ago
the fact that the story is so vague is the reason why i can't get into this game. my boyfriend loves it, i want to love it too, but it seems like i would have to start from the very first damn game to know whats going on. they gotta make it a bit more friendly to people new to the series..
roguebabydoll 3 weeks ago
@roguebabydoll Each FF is a different story, different characters, different world... the only things they have in common is the title, chocobos moogles and some random guy called Cid. Problem is with FF you'll have the ones you'll like or don't like but after that you can't really do much since Square usually don't make sequels for most of them kind of leaving fans of the older games in the dark.
ANGRYMAPLE 3 weeks ago
@ANGRYMAPLE but even if that's the case, i still don't ever know whats going on. x__x
roguebabydoll 3 weeks ago
@ANGRYMAPLE Not really a bad thing, I like then anthology idea because it let's them explore new and different areas with story and characters without being tied down to a single overarching plot, mind you that's kind of getting ruined with them only wanting to focus on the same plot elements time and again, but the premise on it's own merits isn't bad.
lich109 3 weeks ago
It gets good 20 hrs in? I stopped playing 20 hours in. The only reason I kept playing was to find out what the plot is. After 20 fucking hours, I still had no idea. I did what Yahtzee here did and read their plot summaries in the menu. Took an extra 20 min, but at least I now somewhat understand why the hell I doing everything I was doing. I'd like to keep harping on the lousy plot, but the gameplay is what made me stop playing it. I was willing to deal with the lousy gameplay long enough to get
DragoRidley17 3 weeks ago
@DragoRidley17 Bahamut, then quit. After 20 hrs, I had Shiva and Odin. Bahamut was the 5th one you get. Wasn't worth it anymore. Oh, and Vanille was more bearable than Hope because I could ignore her and wouldn't miss anything.
DragoRidley17 3 weeks ago
1:25 I take it that Yahtzee would love bronies.
LuwiigiMaster 3 weeks ago
Its funny that the negative things people say about this game are all usually true.
But for some reason this is the only game that could have gotten away with it in my mind.
Any other game (even another FF title) I don't think it would have been forgivable.
I still enjoyed FF13 even after seeing all the bad things about it.
It just should have been 100X's better after 5 years of development.... -_-"
VoreTechz1985 3 weeks ago
It really doesnt fucking matter what the characters are or the plot is, is a ff game. If you are a real fan of ff then it shouldnt matter. and every start of a ff game is linear, and every single ff game is linear, for it has its story and its only going to finish if you go linear. sure you can have all the wandering around in it, which is awesome for any game, but every ff game is linear. although ff13 is more linear than most, its still one of my favorite ff games.
jarheadpanda 3 weeks ago
im surprised there was no character named Fire in this game lol
ShinobiGarth 4 weeks ago
damn i finished this game in 60 hrs and honestly I really enjoyed it and thougnt the story was good I am going to buy 13-2 and love it
ranmarushinamori 4 weeks ago
Yep, this was pretty much my FF13 experience.
thatguykalabam 4 weeks ago
is it weird that this is all i know about FF XIII and yet i really want to play it?
deadpoolhulk 4 weeks ago
You got through 5 hours of it? Impressive, I couldn't even get through 45 minutes.
While the others admitted took some time to get into as well, as least they had characters I could moderately care about, I find it hard to care about characters who are more stereotypical than a Bruce Willis action movie villain.
EnforcerX71 4 weeks ago
I'm a fan of both Final Fantasy XIII and general jRPGs, but this is freaking hilarious anyway.
SilimsLetsPlays 1 month ago
Fucking hilarious, loved it, though I completed the game I still enjoyed it. Wasn't the best in the world but nor was it the worst. Would rather something 6 but I doubt we will see anything of that calibre again xp
KamalShagg 1 month ago
Im surprised the -massive- drove of mindless Final Fantasy fanboys (and girls) from the Escapist forums haven't defectated all over this comments section already, because they basically droned out any intelligent discussion in the Escapist comments with whining about Yahtzee being unfair and how great it is literally a DAYs worth of gameplay in. Bother that nonsense.
CaitiVoltaire 1 month ago
@CaitiVoltaire Somewhere in the back of their minds...even fanboys know this game is bad.
RockinPSI 1 month ago
Guys,a quick question: Is it normal that i watch atleast 10-20 ZP videos per day,even though ive seen them all a thousand times before?
FearlessSpinner 1 month ago 127
@FearlessSpinner It shows that you know how to have a good time on the internet.
bossfight1 4 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner You're right, what the hell is wrong with you? Why aren't you watching 30-40 videos?!
Yaridovich24 4 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner Sounds normal to me.
MrDunsford20 3 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner hell i do it, so why not you?
muldmike 3 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner I sure as hell hope so!
nfsm07 3 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner It better be normal or im screwed...
PowderedAsh 3 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner Nope!
I watch about 5 before bed =P
TeaUnicorn 3 weeks ago in playlist Zero Punctuation
@FearlessSpinner Yes, I do it weekly
OMGIAmNaked 3 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner If ZP means Zionist Porn then yes, if it's Zero Punctuation then no
WobblyBoy1031 3 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner until you can quote every single word. yes it is.
c00lstuff1 2 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner No its not
the minimum is 50 :-)
GreenHazeProductions 2 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner yes
pokefan1359 2 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner completely!
GamerAddict7796 2 weeks ago
@FearlessSpinner yeah don't worry about it
killthemallism 2 weeks ago
couldn't u rewie ff6?
JokingJokerJokes 1 month ago
The Final Fantasy movie sucked.
streamingmadly 1 month ago
I recently bought Eternal Sonata, mainly because it was recommended. I didn't like it, and I also realised I don't like JRPGs either. Except Pokemon.
locsaretheshit 1 month ago
Love FF VIII and X...but yeah damn near every other game is the same and dull.
666MetalMatt 1 month ago
I loaded up the demo for 13-2 and as soon as the first cutscene was over shut my xbox off. After trying multiple times to give Final Fantasy games a chance...I just can't do it. They're attrocious. My tv screen looked like someone threw up a menu and strange colors onto it and I was expected to know wtf to do.
Fuck final fantasy. it's garbage.
MasteroChieftan 1 month ago
@MasteroChieftan ummm thats every video game now a days, especially in this generation. but i do agree with the whole ff13-2 thing. it seems they tried too hard to make it too flashy, it needs to go back to the old ff 7 or even X style when its simple and yet challenging at the same time, not a cluster fuck of numbers and attacking
jarheadpanda 3 weeks ago
Walk up to them and press x huh? That would be Kingdom Hearts my good man.
jmar4life 1 month ago
@jmar4life At least kingdom hearts was palatable... The Disney characters are questionable but that's to connect to the all the young kiddies and turn them into FF loving weaboos when they reach their teens.
bourky93 1 month ago 18
@bourky93 I dunno if FF fanboys are weeaboos per se. Weeaboos tend to play other games, like SMT games or the Tales series - AKA games that are good sometimes. FF fanboys are a whole different monster, sucking up shit over and over and defending that same shit to the death.
Seriously, try to find a game site that doesn't have at least one discussion about how FF7 was a "masterpiece of storytelling," no matter how ridiculous that is.
GatekeeperAidan 3 weeks ago
@GatekeeperAidan But... But I like the Tales series :c ... lol, even though you are right (not the story telling part, I personally think all the FF stories are pretty fuckin corny (except for number 1 which had no actual characters, just heroes classes and felt more like a straight RPG and was actually good for its time). However, by definition, even liking anything Japanese related a little bit makes you a weaboo. Though FF weaboos are definitely a breed of their own in terms of attitude.
bourky93 3 weeks ago
SHUT UP I AM!
GhostLink92 1 month ago
Am I the only one who has not played a Final Fantasy game? Ever?
SunflashTehMace 1 month ago
@SunflashTehMace I haven't.
Arcoolka2442 1 month ago
@SunflashTehMace No. You're not. Don't be ashamed either. It means you have a brain.
MasteroChieftan 1 month ago
@SunflashTehMace yup
The24101992 1 month ago
Yay ManaBar! imma go there some time ^^ (need to get my ass to aus first tho.)
theFloxie 1 month ago
I'm not sure I'd class Zidane as manly (spice).
ringosis 1 month ago
It's funny because the original Crash Bandicoot games have more dimensions than this game.
Kirbsterkun 1 month ago
Final Fantasy XII wasn't exactly fast paced. You had to do the same from XIII. And XII was pretty bad anyway.
kaibawiz 1 month ago
i don't care what anyone says I love this game.
pkthunder3 1 month ago
this game was terrible it should be a movie not a game.
the only final fantasy i liked was FF XII because the combat was really fast pace not the whole waiting for 5 mins to do a command
RiikoRed 1 month ago
My only Square experiences were Chrono Trigger and FF6, and that was only because of SNES emulators at a point when I couldn't afford the computer to play modern games some time in the late 90's. Looks like I hit the high notes...
meanmanturbo 1 month ago
I stopped play around hour 3. That is when i realized that i was still in the tutorial.
shiriru78 1 month ago
@shiriru78 20 hours in and you'd still be in the tutorial.
trepvox 1 month ago
Oh final fantasy, y u no be good anymore?
KizerKat 1 month ago
This guy owes a lot to Charlie Brooker.
christhemountain 1 month ago
@christhemountain That's because he is inspired by Charlie Brooker.
iainmacdonaldTV 1 month ago
ff13 ssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked
Zweckyify 1 month ago
but i like cooky spice :(
DunDun3000 1 month ago
To the uneducated viewers out there, just a reminder that all the things Yahtzee hates about Final Fantasy came AFTER Seven. Only two characters are teenagers and neither are the main one and you'd bloody wish that everything took place in a cutscene with all the goddamn minigames making sure that you the player do EVERYTHING. People need to go back and remind themselves why Seven took off so much. Then play Eight and weep that it all died there.
pieoverlord 1 month ago
@pieoverlord
Agreed. Although nine was pretty good, but after that they went downhill faster than a fat man on a bicycle.
christhemountain 1 month ago
@pieoverlord Eight, Ten and Twelve are better than Seven. Dirge of Cerberus is Better than Seven.
andy379123 4 weeks ago
of course it sucks you played the 360 version :)
Reloading26 1 month ago
I agree that final fantasy 13 sort of sucked balls but am I the only one that don't complain about the fighting system. I played it for more than 5 hours (it does get better but it never gets good) anyways maybe I just suck at this but I found the difficulty level of the battles pretty appropriate... that's the one part of the game that's at least okay.
Happypast 1 month ago
@Happypast You may well be the only that liked it, yes. Although I did find it a mild improvement over the combat system of 12. >_<
SageVallant 1 month ago
I love ff13 :c
Palzzy 1 month ago
@Palzzy oh good someone besides me who actually thought it was good
SheamusFan2010 1 month ago
I need to install a "efficiency" button in my desk.
animeshows568 1 month ago
it literally gives me an orgasm when he insults something I hate
BlueXCanary 1 month ago
How have they managed to put out so many games?
WheelerWorks 1 month ago in playlist Zero Punctuation
@WheelerWorks well they've been making final fantasy games for ages, and not much else.
jechet10 1 month ago
I hate that theme tune.
Kousaburo 1 month ago
this review could not be truer
orcslayer32 1 month ago
Only game I ever liked from Square was before they were Square enix, was "Secret of Mana". All the other ones are just too boring...
KarlDerGrol3e 1 month ago
Yahtzee feels the same way I do about JRPGs. They were actually good until FF7 fucked everything up.
DoctorLazers 1 month ago
the game was so fucking boring for the first 40h
twixmixtopix 2 months ago
The endings are fucking amazing..
99YOURFACE 2 months ago
Thank god i found this, no more of those shitty commercials from their site.
Tomi199 2 months ago
is it weird this made want to go play final fantasy
MrAce821 2 months ago
Never really did enjoy final fantasy. Truth be told, the only JRPG I even own any more is The Legend of Dragoon. Call me a dick if you want, but managing to sell my copy of FF VII for 300 bucks is the best use out of the bloody game.
RaderizDorret 2 months ago in playlist Zero Punctuation
@RaderizDorret how did you manage to sell ff7 for that much
jacobholdcroft 2 months ago
@jacobholdcroft I have this uncanny knack for finding complete idiots with incredibly deep pockets. It's usually a source of frustration but it is very useful at times.
RaderizDorret 2 months ago
I stopped giving a shit about this series after entry 9. It was the only one that felt like a fucking Final Fantasy game. I didn't even like 7 that much. Still not quite sure it's held in such a regard that I can pick up the much more palatable (more fun and upbeat, less angsty bullshit) Final Fantasy IX for $15 and can only find FFVII in a greatest hits format for $75. Fucking hype.
chosentonessournotes 2 months ago
so true
Danosproductions 2 months ago
I like how his calendar with Jaaames Sunderland.
YorkJonhson 2 months ago
Yahtzee forgot to mention the "brilliant" combat mechanic of ending the game as soon as the leader dies.
kaydee66781 2 months ago
What's weird is now I'm interested in the characters. o.o
Except Lightning.
SwerveStarEx 2 months ago
Doesn't anyone know that you can press triangle or Y to attack without and like to stress WITHOUT a full ATB bar...? =/
RiisWolfy 2 months ago
@RiisWolfy O yes you can but its not very efficient and even then it becomes a case of spamming that Triangle button instead of the X button every 2 sec instead of 10.
RyuuHawke 2 months ago
@RyuuHawke well i'm not intending on the spam part. It is effect for times you need to act now or your chain gauge will reset. But you see more people wait for their ATB fullly recharge hoping they stop the gauge from reseting on time, but couldn't. Had they only known they still act without a full ATB....You can also cancel your actions back pressing B or O when you need to stop, change jobs, and do whatever right away. =3 also suprising at how many don't know that.
RiisWolfy 2 months ago