Scottish star trek

[jistaface]

Good job! How about putting in the last bit? "Taysiders in space - in amongst youse"

Folks from outside might still need a glossary for a translation, but I'm not sure how to gloss that! Equivalent might be "Gung ho!" or "Charge" or "Coming to get you (plural)!"

A few more...

hooer = whore / ho'

hee-haw = f*** all = nothing

ootsiders = the thick end crust of a loaf of bread

[GravelGrunt]

Never saw it with subtitles before. :) 

[HumanXCollective]

Alot of the captions are wrong. 1. Right ensign geez warp factor ten. lets open this big bastard up and see if it is shit off a shovel right enough. 2. You'll no catch us wearing belts like a big bunch of poofters. 3. Aye as long as you bring us a mug of royal game soup and a couple of ciders. 4. Captain, theres a right big hoor of a space ship coming towards us. You want to see the bastarding size of the thing. Its a gid yin(one) or twa(two) sizes bigger than oors.

[jistaface]

@HumanXCollective Uh...not "ciders" with the soup - it IS ootsiders - a.k.a. the heel of the loaf.

[fcukstrateduk]

@jistaface Was just thinking that... lol... who would have a couple of ciders with a mug of royal game soup?

[rosebud2004]

@HumanXCollective ..."a mug o' Royal Game soup an' a couple o' ootsiders!" An Ootsider is essential to dunk in the soup...

*LOL*

[ADonnyKenn]

A treasure trove of classic patter! Cheers for the subtitles! Although I think ~ :51 she says "spaceship" instead of "ship" and then "an ye oughtae see the bastardin size of the thing, it's a good eun or twa sizes bigger than ours ken" Cheers again :-)

[MrDisastard]

One of the captions is wrong. He asks for a mug of royal game soup and a couple of ciders, not a couple of "ootsiders", I'm sure.

[ADonnyKenn]

@MrDisastard I always thought it was "sliders" but I think you're right with "ciders"... :-)

[TheBatmanSmells]

Scotty and his kin lol :P

[loopiesounds2]

loved it ye ken

[BigElvy]

Its " a couple of ootsiders" Not bottles of cider!

[HumanXCollective]

@BigElvy It's "a couple of ciders"

[drania76]

Beam me up Scotty;)

[drania76]

@MrBullshittliar Poles do

[MickeyLove01]

has a scottish person ever been to space?

[chasmedia1]

@MickeyLove01 -Great question but unfortunatly not . a have always wondered about that one too being from Glasgow as you would think a good scotman would be a grand idea. but now there are no more missions but a hope Nasa keep doing the space flights as the footage on - line is epic of the Nasa - site. google it !!!

[gallifreyangirl99]

@MickeyLove01 course we have we've even got a Space School

[666thesnowman]

stoap keekin at ma erse! HAHAHA!

[MeganJosieix506]

so I'm a true expert of causing pleasure to people

[TheTruthSeek]

He's deed captin- stone deed.

Bwahaha

[TheTruthSeek]

O'brian vs. scott

[fregwich]

I'm glad there was a laugh track cause I wouldn't have known it was funny

[BackInAGiffy]

@fregwich its not a laugh track.

[fregwich]

@BackInAGiffy My bad.

[stephxbones]

i'm Glaswegian and I still dont understand half of what theyre sayin lol xD

[JakRock]

@stephxbones That's coz they're rippin' the piss out of choochters.

[masere]

1:09 onwards - pre-beard Riker and Chief O'Brien anyone????

[leeboyy1]

scotland is the best country in Britain wehaay!

[naedanger123]

@leeboyy1 Screw that! Best in the world!

[q7spiz]

That was really hilarious like every character talked like Scotty. I am sure that was the idea.

[GuitarAndDiablo]

ye want tae see the size ae the hing its a good yin or twa time the size a oors, ken LOLOLOL

[bazildon2009]

Psychiatric drugs are a big business in the United Kingdom — and business is booming. The number of prescriptions for psychostimulants has soared 187 percent since 1994, now totalling some three quarters of a million. The stimulant market in the UK now tops £33 million a year.

[JHNWRL]

couldn't understand 1 thing!!! but that's where the comedy lies. may just have been a Jamaican Star Trek instread - got the same St Andrew's cross flag.

[squamish4244]

I couldn't make out half of what they were saying, but it was funny anyway.

[BattlestarCentura]

thumbs up if you found this by typing "Scottish" while bored XD

[Jnicol97]

Set fazers tae malkie. Auch I'm proud tae have understood everyword ae that sketch.

[hstac09]

OMFG, the song is the Kenny Starfighter theme song! That's awesome. XD

[drumrnva]

I'm from North Carolina in the USA, and I love the Chewin' the Fat radio series...but I confess that with a clip like this I wish there were subtitles.  :)

[linoma57]

@drumrnva Mate, im from glesga in scotland bided here for 24 years[ bided means lived] and this is the funniest sketch honestly , youv'e got to have lived there and understand the humour plus the different parts of scotland where the local lingo differs and unless you know this its tough to grasp, but Ihope you enjoy it anyway.

[Trestin13]

@linoma57 guy I work with in Alabama is from Glasgow. He said he was rolling watching this and the star wars one, but he kept having to pause it to explain to his wife what they were saying. She's from Cullman, AL if you want to google that :)

[cptnstylez]

143 people are talkin' pish

[MrGrillz89]

wityehdainyadafty

[ytuser13082011]

Incredibly good and funny! I almost fell down my chair watching it. I love scottish.

[jackc765]

@ytuser13082011 dont u mean scotland

[ytuser13082011]

@jackc765 - I meant "scottish accent". Sorry

[linoma57]

@ytuser13082011 I'm glad you did mate, the Polish get a bad name for being dumb in the U.S. believe me there the dumb ones

[ytuser13082011]

@linoma57 - well, polish sounds horrible to foreigners and I know it ... fortunately you don't have to listen to it too often, right?

Anyway, I feel kinda ashamed for our emmigrants, but what can you do? these are usually the ones that barely speak polish, let alone english.

[cocatwoman7]

Finally, someone took the time to translate every sentence -thank you! this is one of the funniest skits i've ever seen. Chewin the Fat is brilliantly hilarious! cheerz :)

[maxpayne2323]

Say what!?!?!?

It's bloody epic!

p.s. thums up for subs?

[watchuwannaknow]

accent

— n

1. the characteristic mode of pronunciation of a person or group, esp one that betrays social or geographical origin.

i.e., the way you talk. everyone talks a certain way, therefore everyone has an accent.

[Hyreia]

... ...what?

[Lleb777]

Set phaser tay malkie..

[fcukstrateduk]

"You ken fine you're gaggin' fur it, eh? Ye've got hee-haw chance a'e gettin' yer hole, yer an Android, ye've cack-aw knob!"

"You know you're desperate for it, don't you? You've got no chance of penetrating me, you're an Android, you've got no penis!"

"Och, awa' an' dinnae talk pish!"

"Oh, please go away and stop talking nonsense"

[linoma57]

@fcukstrateduk why would yea feel the need tae repete the hole spele dickwad

[fcukstrateduk]

@linoma57 So people like you can learn how to spell.

[fcukstrateduk]

"It's like hee-haw we've ever seen afore Cap'n, ken?"

"It's like nothing we've ever seen before Captain, know what I mean?"

"He's deid Cap'n, stone deid, nae pulse or nutt'n... will ye stoap keekin' it ma arse, ya pervert!"

"He's dead Captain, stone dead, no pulse or nothing... will you stop looking at my arse, you pervert!"

"Captain, we're meddling with forces we cannae possibly comprehend!"

"Captain, we're getting into something we can't possibly understand!"

[fcukstrateduk]

"Ah'v telt ye afore, any mair ae yer pish an' I'll stick this right in yer clacker bag!"

"I've told you before, any more of your maliciousness and I'll stick this right in your testicles"

"Whit ye' daein', ya dafty? Och, I'm just haein a go on the Holodeck, Captain, ah'm Holodeck daft, ken?"

"What are you doing, you idiot? Aw, I'm just having a go on the Holodeck, Captain, I'm really into the Holodeck, know what I mean?"

"Set phasers tae Malky!"

"Set phasers to headbutt"

[fcukstrateduk]

"Captain! There a richt big whoor a'e a spaceship comin' taewards us, ye want tae see the bastardin' size a'e the 'hing, it's a guid yin or twa sizes bigger than oors, ken?!"

"Captain! There's a really big bitch of a spaceship coming toward us, you need to see the size of the thing, it's a good one or two sizes bigger than ours, know what I mean?!"

[fcukstrateduk]

"Captain! Gonnae let us go tae the replicator? Ah'm starvin'! Aye, as long as ye bring us back a mug a' Royal Game soup an' a couple a'e ootsiders"

"Captain! May I go to the replicator? I'm hungry! Yes, as long as you bring me back a mug of Royal Game soup and a couple of outside slices of bread"

(In Scotland, a company called Baxters make what many class as luxury soup. One of their soups is Royal Game, and an "ootsider" is the end piece of bread from a loaf)

[fcukstrateduk]

Here's the transcript of the patter :)

"Right Ensign, geez warp factor 10, we'll open this big bastard up, see if it is shit aff a shovel right enough!"

"Right Ensign, let's go to warp factor 10, to see if this massive ship can go as fast as they say it can"

"Nae danger, get yer belts oan!"

"No problem, get your seatbelts fastened"

"Ye'll no' catch us wearin' belts like a couple a'e big poofters!"

"You won't see us wearing seatbelts like a couple of homosexuals!"

[danelletakarai]

to me they sound like Germans or Russians or someone from East Europe...no offense, it's funny unfortunately i couldn't understand most of their conversation...

[Oxgangs1966]

inamungstyesaw

[FerrisMakinaForeverr]

SET LASERS TAE MALKY =))

[sm0keshell]

Need to make this clear: Americans are the ones with the accent

[MaskedMan66]

@sm0keshell There's no such thing as not having an accent; everybody who can speak has some sort of accent.

[sm0keshell]

@MaskedMan66 Ehm no

[MaskedMan66]

@sm0keshell Ehm, yes; even a computer-generated monotone voice has an accent depending upon where it was programmed.

[sm0keshell]

@MaskedMan66 Ehm still no

[MaskedMan66]

@sm0keshell Och, awa' wi' ye! Scots have Scottish accents (and there's a wide variety of those), Americans have American accents (and there's an even wider variety of those), English have English accents, Irish have Irish accents, etc., etc, and that's just the English-speaking world; there are thousands of dialects in the world.

How about this: YOU tell US who in the world has no accent whatsoever.

[sm0keshell]

@MaskedMan66 English have no accent, guess why: ENGLISH COMES FROM ENGLAND YOU SMARTASS YANK, THATS WHERE THE LANGUAGE CAME FROM

[MaskedMan66]

@sm0keshell Then what comes of Cary Elwes's line in Robin Hood: Men in Tights:

"Because, unlike some Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent."

Of course the English speak with an accent, in fact several accents, of which only a few are "BBC British," North Country, West Country, and Cockney.

[sm0keshell]

@MaskedMan66 -.- Robin Hood: Men in Tights is a yank made film and for the last time there is no such thing as a English accent just deal with it that you yanks are the ones with accent

[MaskedMan66]

@sm0keshell I have heard other English people speak of English accents, and the whole reason Mel Brooks put that line in was because of all the people on both sides of the pond who were upset that Kevin Costner wasn't allowed to use an English accent in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

If there wasn't any such thing as an English accent there'd have been no controversy.

[BaneOfLannister]

@sm0keshell Well this is a stupid argument. Have fun you two.

[sm0keshell]

@BaneOfLannister It's already over and I emerged as victor once again

[BaneOfLannister]

@sm0keshell So I guess that makes you the bigger moron for winning the stupid argument? I suppose that's worth bragging about...

[sm0keshell]

@BaneOfLannister Who's the moron here? Why you even bother replying on my comment you stupid twat

[BaneOfLannister]

@sm0keshell I'm not playing, "Who's The Bigger Fucking Idiot," with you. You've already proven yourself more than worthy of the title twice now. Well done chief. Carry on then.

[sm0keshell]

@BaneOfLannister ? You're just another ignorance yank twat you stupid moron, you lads can't even accept you have an accent.. fucking wankers

[BaneOfLannister]

@sm0keshell One can't be "another ignorance." One can suffer from ignorance, thereby making him ignorant though. You'd think you'd be able to get that right since you hail from the country mine claims to use the same language as. But then again, you are the moron who thinks being the victor of arguments that were asinine to begin with is worth bragging about, so I suppose that's were it falls apart. Now for the last time, I'm not getting pulled into a stupid argument with the Almighty Idiot.

[sm0keshell]

@BaneOfLannister Funny you dont want to get pulled in some stupid argument yet you choose to reply which is mostly a trigger for a stupid argument... you're a prick and i am not in the mood for some stupid discussion so, FUCK YOU

[BaneOfLannister]

@sm0keshell Hussssssssssshhhhhhhhhh.

[MaskedMan66]

@sm0keshell Funny how you just try to pretend you haven't just made a major blunder. As BaneOfLannister stated, a person cannot be an "ignorance." "Ignorance" is a state of being typified by a lack of information; another word is "unawareness." Now, a person can be "ignorant," that is, unaware of something, but he cannot be "an ignorance."

Now, scroll up and look for a post by watchuwannaknow; I believe it's meant for you.

[sm0keshell]

@MaskedMan66 lol

[MaskedMan66]

@sm0keshell Quite the dreamer, aren't you?

[fcukstrateduk]

@MaskedMan66 You've just made me want to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights again :D

[masseffectful]

@fcukstrateduk men in tights is awesome

[MaskedMan66]

@fcukstrateduk My apologies. :-)

[HumanXCollective]

@sm0keshell There are lots of different english accents from all over england. It's what helps us scots tell you apart. I could tell you what city a person was from just from hearing their voice.

[RedPepaZA]

Stop Keekin' at m'arse?

[MsHightower88]

@RedPepaZA "stop looking at my arse"

[RedPepaZA]

@MsHightower88 I know what it means. I found it hysterical!!!

[dude75able]

140 people that pressed the dislake button are Dr. Who fans.

Time to beam them into the sun, where there be no tribble at all!!!!!

[barryrrab]

ther'es a right big whore of a spaceship coming towards us and you want to see the bastarding sze thing its a XXXXXX size of ours... cant quite catch it

[grievous19]

@barryrrab "a guid yin or twa sizes bigger than oors"

[a good one or two sizes bigger than ours]

[MrSkycity007]

what the hell are the saying?

[RihannaBritney]

@TheKpaxx Get awaw wi ye. Ye can understand it ye foreign Englishman

[TheBatmanSmells]

The Americans say to-may-toes, the English say to-mah-toes and the Scottish say to-mah-eez XD

[GoblinXXX]

@TheBatmanSmells Let's call the whole thing off!

[thekendokid]

haha "set phasers tae malky!"

[smegweevil]

I could only understand about half of this but it was hilarious! I could never visit Scotland if they talk like that! (and I am half Scottish as weel!)

[emotd]

I think this is very funny....

[monthenmaw]

"In 60 seconds we will board your ship, and you will surrender your vessel to us."

"Ach awa' an dinnae talk pish!"

Fucking miss Chewin' the fat. Brilliant show!

[crypticmirror]

Better than four seasons of Enterprise!!!

[mike80759]

moon1981 star tek new movie must woch paz lol lol lol

[mike80759]

you shod woch star tek new movie it so scottish to funny video m8

[Necramorph1]

a right big whoor o a spaceship

[lisamacalpine]

aye......as lang as ye bring us back a mug o royal gem soup and a couple o ootsiders

[drbuster92]

Will ya stop kiking at ma ass ya Pervert.

[barryrrab]

@drbuster92 priceless



[sadiechops]

@drbuster92

........keeking at ma arse.....

[drbuster92]

@sadiechops Yup, you are right. My mistake

[TheFelixdahouseboat]

"It's like hee-haw we've ever seen afore captain, ken"

[JediVulcanTimeLord]

I'm Scottish myself and I can barely make out a word they're saying! Then again, accents tend not to be this strong where I live.

[rasmus90]

Bu hears te real question: Where's Sco'y?

[49blackboab]

phasers te malky...

[realnameunknown2011]

lol stone deed captan

[stevemem]

I loved it ya ken?!

[kilted06yass]

PMSL "Captain.. there a right big whore ae a spaceship cumin aewards z, yae want ae see the bastard size ae the thing .. its a gid yhin or twa sizes bigger thn oors ken" fuckin brilliant

[Towe95]

Obriens ideal workplace? thumbs up

[crypticmirror]

@Towe95 O'Brien was Irish, not Scottish.

[Machmedibror]

It's the Kenny Starfighter soundtrack!

[IIM4GiiXx]

a dont speak like that and am scottish wtf :L

[MrAnime4tw]

@IIM4GiiXx Its mostly people from dundee and carnoustie that speak like that, im from there myself but mines aint as strong as that

[costhatisfunny]

These two boys are a credit to Scotland.Clever comedy at its very best.Wha's like us?

[ALGERNONSENCE]

Feckin hilarious, ye ken?

[jtbond1975]

i am from Australia, Gippsland, love the Scotts accented BS! Here in Gippsland, we often get accused as sounding like Scot's, from the British tourists, half our place names are Scott, i grew up in Glengarry! never mind the explorers and squatters who walked in here..and most of us love it!.......Innunmunstiaeas!...t­hats the last bit i heard...never mind us!

[jtbond1975]

..innunmunkstaies!!!!!!!!

[blunted333]

@jtbond1975 in amongst yeeeez..

[SpazzyMcGee1337]

I was waiting for the chief engineer eith an American accent and I was very dissapointed when it never came.

[1984LizardKing]

only east coasters know wit the fuck theyre saying. am from glesga and im strugglng like fuck lol

[stinger717]

away back ho,e to your own country!!!

[slanecek]

What did they say at 2:14 ?

[blunted333]

@slanecek

"ach awa' and dinnae talk pish" aka - "ahh get away and don't talk shit.." ish..

[MaskedMan66]

@blunted333 More likely "Don't talk piss."

[blunted333]

@MaskedMan66 you say potato we say totties, ken?

[MaskedMan66]

@blunted333 I ken. Doon sooth in the States we say taters.

[educortazarc]

McSpock

[ArrowSmith95]

rofl i understood all of what they said ... but im from Nova Scotia so that's why lmfao

[heisenfeis]

"stop kickin my ass you pervert" XD

[Johnston67]

@heisenfeis

It's 'keekin (staring) at my arse.'

As funny as it was years ago on Chewin' The Fat. Shame there's nowt like this on TV anymore.

[IrishCaucasian]

This just shows you that the Scots are impervious to the universal translator.

[d1o1d1]

funny as fuck lol

[Alkonium]

I didn't understand a word of that.

[MyNutsAreCold]

I understood about five words out of all that.

[squidy2kaii9]

899,999th Viewer

[wobbers99]

Top Bloody Notch.

[71ravn]

Woot teh deus is this?

LOL, "will ye stop peekin' at ma ass, ya pervert?!"

[agp60]

" taysiders in space" pure quality , even folk fae scotland canny understand fifers ...

[coobynmaley]

Captain theres a big whoore of a spaceship cumin towards us lmao

[Lithanus00]

ROFL. If I understood any of it, I'd prolly LOL more.

[borofreak]

"Capt'n, a meddle of macforces we cannot possibly comprehend!" xD

[FintyTin]

@borofreak "wir meddlin wae forces we cannae possibly comprehend" :P

[Watershed92]

set phasers tae malky

thats quality lol

[Chongalulu]

funny

[borofreak]

McForces??! xD

[calbo555]

Im scottish , there taking the piss here. i can barely understand it myself haa ! thats why its so funny

[LeviathanVIII]

Where's C3P0 when you need a translation!? Oh, wait wrong catagory, WHERE'S THE ANDROID WHEN YOU NEED HIM!?

[jimjamify92]

@LeviathanVIII Out cold after hitting on the red head :P

[NorthstarXXXI]

this is amazingly hilarious

[gmoz1]

@Oxgangs1966 - Aaaacccchh, awa n dina talk pish!!!

[MrBigdannyish]

thats fae roond ma bit ken

[animedragon313]

lol i love chewin' the fat

[saxgoddess25]

I'm really good with Scottish usually, but parts of this one were a bit over my head. Hehe.

[gamerjason]

I might be laughing more if I could understand them...

[mrmojohasrisen]

@gamerjason its kinda the whole point.its basically glaswegians poking fun at east coasters,im from the west coast and i can hardly understand some of it hahahaha

[Hyperspacey]

I'd fuckin' ruin a Forfar bridle the naw. Gies us a plan an an an ingin an an aw.

[stfugtfofgt]

SET YOUR PHASORS TO MALKI!