Daddy Knows Best

[madman123456]

If my Kid comes shooting out of his/her Mothers Vagina with a Beard just as awesome as my own i'd be proud. Even if its a Daughter. You could have Fun with your Kids: Indoctrinate them with religion. After twenty Years, you say: "You know those Bible readings we had when you where a Kid?" "What about them, Daddy?" "That's all Bullshit. I don't believe in that Stuff, i do have a few Braincells left. But it was really funny trolling you for 20 Years!"

[wet6u3576]

this is what i think about stupid bronies takeing over the internet

[CrescentMoonRed]

Funny you mentioned twins XD I'm a twin XD

[Kelthuzad5]

Go kill that guy, he cut me off on traffic!

YES, FATHER.

[LuxConcordiae]

He's gonna be the best dad ever.

THE BEST DAD EVER.

[tvNOLA]

His "little child voice" is fucking classic 1:46

[CrushingReality]

1:20 SCOTTY DOSEN'T KNOW!

[rebos911]

SUPERB PERFORMANCE!

[0kayceelane0]

Funniest one yet.

[Renafangirl2021]

I want to name one of my kids Tits McGee. It would be fucking hilarious.

[barbarash]

I plan to call my kid if I have any... Megatron. So no matter how annoyed I get with them I can geek out whenever communicating.

[thedarkmodem]

People tell me the same thing TJ.

[guldrev]

well its acually not soft if he kills someone in the next year

...because the deal was that he would be called cobra if he killed some one.

[TheDarkIllumination]

TJ will never have to worry about raising a child. As far as we know bananas cant bear children.

[D100J]

... tell me how it goes out during your 40's

[tunasanwitch]

You sir, are a disgrace to atheism.

[ThePoorShogun]

@tunasanwitch

dumbest shit i ever heard,as if atheists are a closed group of people

[ninjadude1021]

me-DADDY!!!!!! YOU MOTHER FUCKER YOU :D!!!! *punches you in the face, knocking you out* IM THE AMAZING ATHEIST NOW DADDY!!!!! *pulls out gun, shoots you in the face*

you- *wakes up* WTF... thats it.. no more unprotected sex before bed!!!

[CaptainRano]

If I have a kid I'll give him a hobby at 2 years of age, football, playing guitar, karate, whatever. I'll force him too it wether he likes it or not. Hopefully he'll like it eventually. Because then I know he's going to be something, or at least be good at something in the future. And then when he is a rich award-winning master of karate, he can pay my bills and beat people I don't like

[IncurableHeathen]

I don't plan to ever have kids, because I have no plans to have sex with anything capable of using my sperm to form an offspring.

Which is good because I hate kids anyway.

But maybe I'll genetically engineer a being to serve as a child to me. He'd have the strength of an ox, the ferocity of a honey badger, the agility of a hummingbird, and the penis-to-body size ratio of a barnacle.

His name will be the sound of the Krakatoa, but only if said at the same volume as the explosion itself.

[LightningBoltz]

You have to fuck to have children. Sitting on your ass eating doritos and making youtube videos will probably deter you from accomplishing the first requirement of that equation.

[xaddgx]

@LightningBoltz It's not a requirement to even begin that equation.

[LightningBoltz]

@xaddgx Never said it was. What point are you trying to make?

[xaddgx]

@LightningBoltz Just making the point that you don't need to make a child.

[LightningBoltz]

@xaddgx Ok, great, but those two ideas are not in conflict with one another and since I'm a grown ass man I think I realize that one does not have to have children. So, I fail to see the relevance of your comment. Of course, nowadays most people are afraid to start a family because the tv's got you thinking materialistic careers are more important than creating life. Pffft, lol. Dumb asses obsessed with shiny possessions and fear.

[VetinariClone]

@LightningBoltz Lots and lots of shit is more important than creating life, that shit happens every second of everyday, it's not something special.

[LightningBoltz]

@VetinariClone That's just your opinion and if you'd stop to think before you post you'd actually realize that your replies have yet to make one valid point. I didn't say creating life is the most important thing (although I fail to see anything man has done that can top that),. Without life we cannot accomplish anything else, genius. You keep arguing against points that I'm not even making. Read and think, then post.

[VetinariClone]

@LightningBoltz Ummm I only posted once... I don't keep arguing against points that you aren't even making because I only said ONE thing. So yeah.... I think you might be the one who needs to read and think before posting.

[LightningBoltz]

@VetinariClone Well, I confused you with the other guy. You jumped into the discussion and I thought you were the other guy. Whoa, you got me there. Still doesn't prove your point. And you still failed to address my previous comment other than pointing out I made a mistake as most humans tend to do.

[VetinariClone]

@LightningBoltz But as to not addressing a point you were making my comment was meant to imply that materialistic careers are more important than creating life. Any way, read and think, then post.

[LightningBoltz]

@VetinariClone What a horrible existence you must live to put such high value on inanimate objects.

[VetinariClone]

@LightningBoltz You have no idea. You'd do just the same if you could see people the way I do, there is nothing more horrible than a human being.

[LightningBoltz]

@VetinariClone Nor do you have any idea as to my perception. Humans hurt each other and we do bad things, but to discount the amazing acts of kindness and impressive intelligence that humans have displayed is to take a rather one sided view, is it not? For everything there is yin and yang, and the good would not be good without the bad. There is beauty in life and human existence, but only if you're willing to accept the whole for what it is.

[wownerdFTW]

My kids name is going to be goku.

[Corrosive1]

YESSSS FAATHEER

LOL

[CrackedRoof]

He looks like Billy Connelly in the pic

[vvhat]

You said "Scotty doesn't know". LOL

[EliroX904]

SLAUGHTER MR SPARKLES!

[Abbadon380]

CO-BRA

[Abbadon380]

is it me or is he irish

[TheHappyman09]

press 8 for epicness

[paperbagshinobi]

don't have kids. world don't have anymore room for unwanted little shits.

[LordVadra777]

@paperbagshinobi AGREED!!!

[Humberto4790]

Lol Peddo bear.

[swinetastic]

288 people were put to death by Cobra.

[DebbieDownerTV]

Zeus help us all...lol. Im actually surprised that he even wants kids. There's no way in hell I'm bringing children into such a meaningless and fucked up world.

[IWillMakeUMyBitch]

@DebbieDownerTV What's the point of living then?

[manmythlegend12]

@IWillMakeUMyBitch haha and how is having kids purposeful? Theyll all grow up and die eventually, and eventually all your descendants will be dead, as will mankind. It's not going to matter much in the long run either way.

[psycicpowers]

the only reason im a twin and have a different name is that im unidentical, im the smart one, he is the one who sits on his ass listening to Nichi Minaj and all that shit

[HowlingUnderground]

I want to make his outtro my ring tone

[nebulasandblackholes]

Hey. I'm a triplet. :(

[drigonizer]

TJ's "sensitive spot" is like the difference between gold and something like iron...

[HowlingUnderground]

TJ looks so innocent as a kid

[truesouljs]

I really hope this guy NEVER has kids!

[MennacetoSociety]

who else rofld at the pedo bear?



[XxFairyGrrlxX]

You are EXACTLY like my dad. Seriously.

[DGneoseeker1]

Mr Sparkles! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Keael]

Wow, you look like Ryan Dunn int he thumbnail.

[Zephyesa]

Your going to tell your son to kill someone?

What kind of sick twisted piece of mysognistic garbage are you?

This is the 21st century you fucking caveman!

[Ironfruit16]

@Zephyesa Maybe if you realized this was a joke, it would make more sense.

[Zephyesa]

@Ironfruit16 This is serious but.

[Rampardos206]

@Zephyesa you....

[Zephyesa]

@Rampardos206 Hari Krishna- woo WOO!

[Rampardos206]

@Zephyesa .-.

[Zephyesa]

@Rampardos206 I can see you

[Rampardos206]

@Zephyesa I Dare Say Not

[Zephyesa]

@Rampardos206 Im looking at you thru a camera!

[Rampardos206]

@Zephyesa did you see me flip you off

[Zephyesa]

@Rampardos206 naughty!

[WorkingWithMeat]

I'll have your children o.o

[shadowvowed187]

Conservatives and liberals are both excellent. Its just the Idiotic ones that suck. too bad 99.99.9.9 % of people are IDIOTS

[KaiL3127]

"You're Dave, and you're Dave." MINDFUCK

[Twistedthief]

@KaiL3127 How is that a mindfuck?

[KaiL3127]

@Twistedthief

I meant to say it as in it would be a mindfuck for the Daves.

[TehFunnehMann]

Kids shouldn't have facial hair. 1:36

[MadeOfMetal93]

@TehFunnehMann

some kids have facial hair since they are 5, Believe me, I saw

[TehFunnehMann]

@MadeOfMetal93 Really? Damn!

[AVERAGEREVOLUTIONARY]

EY! GO KILL THAT MOTHER FUGGER HE CUT ME OFF IN TRAFFIC!

Yus father!

[MYBallsAreHuge12]

We're gonna slaughter mr.sparkles

[eric223350]

Yes Father !! Haha

[TriggerHead21]

Laughed so hard at " We're going to SLAUGHTER Mr. Sparkles :D"

[DaggelDutch]

I like guys without a soft side. :$

[Zodiac6th]

PEDO BEAR!!!!!!!!!! :)

[SirDeathDark]

I like that poster to your left (the viewer's right). Where'd you happen across it?

[NMages20]

if your kids every see this video, i wonder what they're gonna think.

[MuslimRebelRevolte]

1:45 ok,this guy is normally very very very funny,but that part was just sad... but 2:33 made it all go away :)

[OceausPhoenix]

Press 8 for YES!!!!!!!!!!!

[OceausPhoenix]

Press 6 for YES!!!!!!!!!!!

[iamsilence1]

My son's name is Arsen. And yes, I put some thought into that.

[ipodthekid]

@BeachDemon80 420 secs is 7 minutes. This vid is 4 min and 20 sec

[twlight76]

2:32 YES FATHER!

[calmreason]

I like Cobi!

As a good Father, I've always protected my kids from religion - you'll do the same whether you're tough or soft. We say our night time Blasphemies and always desecrate some sacrament on Sunday.

[Imhornydadcomeinside]

I have one question, what is a "Dady"?

[DarthFennec]

I'm not going to have kids. I'd be thrown in prison for trying to raise them and accidentally killing them instead, and I'd much rather be not in prison :P

[Pemphetru]

you'll still be the fucking annoying amazing atheist, you're just going to incorporate that into a child-friendly version.

[AnonymousLish]

Lol. Whats the deal with the 'scary' Christian advertisement at the beginning of the video?

Are we all supposed to shudder?

LAME!

[666unknowndevil666]

Where have you met a girl named Candy?

[trolldull]

@TbasketballG SARCASM, I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, I'm actually reading that book right now, its great

[tarrizzzzzzzzz]

who sings IIITTSSS AAALL HEEEREEE? :D

[Skippistan]

Dude, my kids are gonna be named in wingdings.

It'd be funny in school.

"Yes mailbox skull frowny face?"

[Succubus1982]

@Skippistan Lmao that would be hilarious. You really should. Or only in punctuation symbols coz then everytime he writes his name it looks like he's swearing.

[aTF2player]

@Skippistan LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[johannn94]

YOUR NAME IS COBRAAA!!!!

[BeachDemon80]

420 secs

[xomiakas]

MOAR videos.

[GoldenCrusader93]

278 people got the hoves

[RejectorofDelusion]

@UnschoolingEagle How so? I'm merely pointing out the obvious.

[TheArcadianFlame]

@OnkelRampe no, he's not, he's had a girlfriend for like years

[MindofMichaelMyers]

If he becomes a dad, it should a reality show.

[beto3k]

Is he going to molest his kids? Is that what the pedobear is for? LOL

[Barwasser]

TJ and Cody can't have a child.

therefore TJ will never have any...

[connerjd]

It is hard to picture TJ as a dad. He!He!

[Anotherwizard312]

"YES! I AM NOT COBBY! BUT COBRA!" XD

[LegionIscariot]

Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day.

[TheArcadianFlame]

COBRA!! I AM COBRA!! that was freaking hillarious

[Demerots]

Pedo bear wins.

[thatturtleoverthere]

1:27-2:02 Impressive acting.

[jaesoan]

this fat worthless lard-fuck better not produce offspring.

[leeknivek]

SCOTTY DOESN'T KNOW!

[Juillardl]

@leeknivek LOL!! Austin Power's reference.

[leeknivek]

@Juillardl i was talking about the song, it popped into my head as soon as i heard that haha

[Juillardl]

@leeknivek wait, was that song ever played in austin power movie? anyways, ya i knew that song from some where. lol

[leeknivek]

@Juillardl honestly couldn't say ...... i don't even know who's song that is, and i haven't seen any austin powers movies in forever

[s0c0guinn]

@leeknivek funniest movie ever!

[BassBOY0GIRL]

No, you got it wrong. You need to have 11 kids (all named coby), and put them through four years training. The top two must then watch you kill (by guillotine) and eat there siblings. After ten years of more training, you kill and eat the weaker of the two and the only survivor shall be given his real name, cobra.

[LetsSmokeCannabis]

@BassBOY0GIRL LMAO

[xXMaJoRxSnIpEzXx]

Terroja, Candy and Cobra? Is it possible for irregular names to run in a gene pool?

[mokeymina]

the big bear face made you seem really viscious. and when Mr Sparles time has come to be dispatched, can i come over to eat! ill boil the tail and make something eerily delectible ho ho ho! peace\m/

[AresCassell]

My little brother's name is also Scotty!

[RedGroundBlackSnake]

1:00 hahaha!!!

[SuperODeLuXe]

lol. its funny cause no one would have kids with u

[GamerOfOurTime]

Oh yeah, i forgot to share my idea of children, I was thinking about having 16 then have them face each other off in an arena on tv and which ever child wins can only be mine... (YAY nO Gramerrs lOls

[GamerOfOurTime]

We're gonna slaughter Mr. Sparkles! Don't cry, you can have some too!

Lawlz

[NikkiRose]

What scotty doesnt know.

[BlaqueAudio]

what is your outro called?

[PainisCupcake]

and then cody was codra

[TheJunkieBox]

So theatrical.

[futurejarhead0311]

LOLOLOL pedobear

[semperfiedausten]

Your body releases hormones when u have a kid. Talk big shit now but I'll love to see u hold your baby in the emergency room.

[EarLyVizioN]

when you said "scotty doesn't know", it reminded me of this.. Scotty doesn't know, That Fionna and me, Do it in my van every Sunday. She tells him shes in church, But she doesn't go, Still shes on her knees, and... Scotty doens't know, oh. Scotty doesn't know-oh. So don't tell Scotty! Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know. SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

[HerrSchnabeltier]

MR SPARKLES? IS THAT TWILIGHT SPARKLE'S DAD?

HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!?

[Bluevetteboy2012]

FUCK BRETT KEENE!!!!!

[LegendBaal]

@Bluevetteboy2012 the guys a faggot.

[216Eva]

I'm a father and I'm more of a asshole then you ....

[zero9112]

Sociopaths make the best leaders.

[Darkside780]

You went over board on the drama...

[peenishead]

hahah scotty doesnt know

[SNIFFSaPC]

Dear TJ,

you will be the best father EVER. (that's not sarcasm)

<3, SAPC

[tweezy99]

This video is pure awesomism

[1Bullet2Ki11s]

Name your kid: Stryker.

Best fucking name ever. In my opinion....

[Ratchet25]

Dude after 1:30 you sound just like Goku from DBZ

[Togmot]

I liked the ninja idea

[nocturnezero]

1:22 Another thing Scotty doesn't know... Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday.

[Ingham818181]

TJ's girlfriend must be up the cookie!

[maioca17]

ur voice seems somewhat diffrent from what i remmer last time i saw you?? also now u remind me of that guy from mythbusters..jamie?

[frenziedstateovmind]

Name Your son Vinnie or Toni....

George Carlin said it all :)

[RhotenXxX]

Cobra and Candy ...awesome name for kids i love it ... personally i would have gone with Viper and Doughnut ...

[feladir123]

pause at 2:04 funny face :)

[Zeverouis]

You know what's so funny? He wouldn't be such a dad if he were a dad.. He would like most fathers, loving his kids and all. This is one of the bad vids he did. Still funny though

[monkeytail2002]

you so remind me of seth rogen here

[skulljoint]

YOU LIE!

You paid taxes to break one of the commandments.

[MarcoZ1ITA1]

IF and i say IF you have kids, they're gonna see this and laugh their asses off. But i don't believe you'll have kids.

[landraider101]

scotty doesn't know! scotty doesn't know!

[ThePhantomLion]

His child will be a hellspawn because it's being raised by an atheist :D

[zEropoint68]

My boyfriend's ex-sister in law named her daughter (I'm not fucking kidding) - Inertia.

When I heard this, the only thing I could think to say was, "Sounds moving."

[mattakaducky]

at 1:20 when he says what scotty doesnt know... idk if anybody else has watched eurotrip but i started singing that song in my head

[hellbillyx4]

haha so funny! the real funny and ironic thing about all this is that deep down underneath the facade he is the biggest.. hypersensitive suck on the planet hence the backwards defence mechanism...the output of edginess and a hard personality.

all you guys should know that most atheists appear to be hardened on the outside but on the inside they are really hypersensitive sucklings.

whats the most traumatic experience this shill has ever been through? he is a pansy head to toe.

[stevenodd]

@hellbillyx4 I'm a happy, goofy, lazy ass. Does that mean deep down inside, I'm a hard, cold sociopath with no regard for humanity?

[emloquace]

@hellbillyx4 it should be noted that theamazingatheist is a constructed persona and not TJ's actual person in real life. He does this for the entertainment value and he has a personal account where he's largely himself. Don't take this too seriously :)

[mackles]

hahahah he's stuck with pussy ass coby LOL!

[MrBeniBunny]

YAY! PEDOBEAR!

[nick3529]

Oh dang press 8 :D