Wow great video!! I think I m deff going to upload a video soon abt myself. I was diagnosed with severe BPD with depressive and anger symptoms half a yr ago by my therapist. Now I 've been to therapy for a year everything is getting worse ..and my therapist doesn't know how to help me since my situation is unique. Right..I feel no one in this world would understand and there is no "hope" ever exists.. And I'll be graduating with a Psychology B.A. in 2 months ..still there s no 'HOPE" at all..
Gracias! Agradezco infinte. Tu info. Ademas entre en tu canal y pude ver otros temas muy inter. Para mi este medio me ayuda para aprender y conocer otrs formas de pensar y eso me enriquece..aun k no en todas este de acuerdo, y es bonito compartir y opinar dentro del margen de respeto.. para mi es Un retroalimentacion muy positiva y este caso BPD es un alivio saber que no estoy sola y que puedo hablar con alguien que me puede comprender..y eso es algo muy dificil de encontrar! :}
Thank You! I was diagnost. 10 years ago, I was neglet. Denide..etc. now I recognice every thing that you said in this v. I suffer every day. A lot of mood changes.work and relashionsips difficults. I hide for weeks and months. I feel SCARE ..until J ware my mask..and I feel like "I can do" going out ..I hate, love, enjoy, etc..very deep. Like rolicoaster. Si alguien habl español y sufre esto POR FAVOR compartanlo..por k no hay mucha inf. En este idioma. Gracias..Muchas gracias por compartir!
@Libby1963E Es una placer para mi poner mi pequeño granito de arena y si consigo confortar o ayudar a alguien me doy por más que satisfecho, Espero que todo te vaya bien y que sigas adelante. Si quieres más información hay un usuarios que tienen canales que se decican por entero al tema (por desgracia uno de los más grandes no se por que ha cerrado...) Suerte :)
1,5 year ago I was diagnost with Borderline and I searched for many years what was wrong with me. I must say... i have watched many vid but this one had the most meaning to me.. everything you says is true.. from beginning until the end!! Thank you so much for this vid.. I am now almost done with my STEPPS (Treatment Program for Borderline Personality Disorder) and I am feeling great the last few months!!! So again thank you very much!! With love Michaela
@echech1 No you are not alone... you are very welcome, don't worry about your english... English is not my native language as well :) maybe the description of this veideo might help you a little, if you have any questions please feel free ask.. I've been dealing with this for nearly a deacade, maybe I reply late but I'll try... (family stuff) remember, you are not alone! you can do it! it's a thing I always say, if I can you can, have no doubts about it! you can do it too!!! Hugs
i have BPD. i know everything that you are going through. please keep fighting. right now i am trying to fight but it's very hard for me. their is hope. i probably don't believe that all the time but inside i know its true. you should know that their is also hope. be strong. please.
Exactly how I feel and everyday is different but I make it through it I have good days and bad days like today all I want to do is hide under my duvet and cry but I'm not I'm fighting it and staying strong your video is great thanks love to all BPD suffers ( I'm BPD )
I just watch you video and all the thing you've said on it, I can really relate to. I been feeling those feeling for a while now and to cope I've just drank and burn my self. so thank you for your video.
I wish I could get my diagnose soon... Been waiting for it for years but the doctors are so fucking slow. Really well described. I hate being like this. And I don't have any friends because of it.
Thank you for sharing this video with the world , as i am 36 and been living with this since i was 15 ! I am still battling every day of my life , it s nice to know i am not alone in this fight! Thank you for having the strength to make this video!
@btwbffnews1 I don't think it is stupid at all, but this is a not very well understood illness yet, sometimes it's difficult to diagnose and other disorders are similar (for example: bipolar) due to some common traits, it's better to not try to self diagnose and if you think you might have it 'cause you relate to some of the symptoms my advice would be to talk to your parents first and seek for professional opinion first as well. I really hope you don't have it. Good luck.
Hate myself for being like that, it's spoiled my relationship with someone who I really cared about, he just couldn't understand how come I can be so fucked up. I don't understand that either, feel like shit now, worthles shit. Don't wanna live
@InezOrtiz sorry for my late reply... I've been dealing with some difficult stuff... I only wish and hope you are better despite it's been 2 months... carrry on my friend, you can do it!
thank you soooooooooo much for making this video. i have severe BPD and it is HELL! i suffer every day because of it. i think its the worst disorder to have. i just want to survive. its very hard to survive from this. u are right! normal would never know how to deal with this. if they has this for one day. they would die instantly. btw i just want to tank u for saying their is hope because i never think their is hope. i understand how u feel.
@lovetodrinkink sorry for the late reply... (lots of stff going on)... there is hope indeed... don't have any doubts about it! as I say in the vid, you are an ama¡zing, strong and beautiful person... you are dealing with this and one day you'll see the splendour of dawn!
A helpful and personal video. I thought what you wrote about your video, and about BPD was excellent. It is very important (and so few BPD folk know this) that Borderline symptoms tend to lessen with time/age. The most damaging symptoms can disappear - with time, therapy (guidance) and hope. I'm always glad to see a person who is recovered from the worst of it. Being more sensitive than most is not easy - but it's a thrilling life. Hang on, friends!
I feel that having bpd is really hard because of the behaviours of it, people just think i'm crazy or an alcohlic they cant actually see the emotional pain i feel every day. The fear of abandonment is the worse part for me as it causes panic attacks and i think that whole abandonment issue is the main part of this illness , it can turn you psychotic
I cried while watching this. cause I have one, when it attacks me. I swear, I feel like my world collapse and everything. being rejected feels like I want to die. but I am a normal person. people just really cant understand me. and now, atleast I found what I have. I hope I could cure it, cause even my parents are fucked up with how my behavior goes!!!
@DocStrange0123 the problem with me is, I'm perfect. people likes me because I'm pretty, talented too and very creative, rich and experienced! etcetera. but the problem is that, I always wanted to be alone rather than being with people. because I'm scared to approach them, cause I'm scared of rejected or maybe they wont like me. is that really a part of BPD, this is why I prefer internet more because there is no rejection happening or something like that. -____-. I really cant understand ;_(
@saydiesadista Is a very common trait, real or imaginary abandonement fears... with time you learn to deal with that, more or less, not easy but it can be done :)
@DocStrange0123 I have last question. cause this is bothering, is it PROPER for a BPD person to know that they have this? or they have Borderline Personality. I'm sorry for asking this, it seems it has a negative effects on me. lol! if you say it has a positive way, then tell ne why? and how is it positive or good to let some BPD person to know that he or she has this fucking personality disorder?
@saydiesadista well, usually doctors don't tell you have BPD until some time has passed, it's the normal procedure I think, but then is good that you know what you have, I can only talk from my experience though, my doctor waited about 1 year to tell me what I really had (I was in hospital (isolation) 2 times during that period). It happened the same to me, first it seems it has negative effects, but then slowly it changes as you start fighting it... as I said, I can only talk from y experience
@DocStrange0123 great, thanks. anyway.. just block that ireallyhatenoobs before she destroyed ur video comments. she is just retarded mofo who came outer space just to fuck me here. I dont know him. so before she brings a big shit storm her flaming me. kindly block her. thank u! god! I
@ireallyhatenoobs Translate what you said into english, I've been asked to block you (I will not tolerate any kind of trolling etcetera in this video specifically), but since I can't understand what you said I want to wait to get all the facts... (72 hours until blocked if I get no news from you...)
recovery is possible. i didn't believe it until i read the ny times article about marsha linehan admitting to have had borderline (Expert on Mental Illness Reveals Her Own Fight, published on june 23)
I have just come to terms with my BPD...I was diagnosed at the age of 12....which my mom didn't tell me until I was in my 20's..I denied it...I'm 41 now, and yes, I have BPD and am going through the first stages of getting stable...it's hell...I'm an alcoholic also. Been sober 32 days now...alcohol was my way of pushing these feelings down, away, go numb....now I'm sober, and they are back with a vengence, screaming at me. I feel so alone, like I'm crazy now, I just want to be happy, HELP!!
@calamityjenn1 My mums 44 I think, she has BPD and bipolar, she used to be an alcoholic and she was suicidal to but now she's soooo much better. Trust me as long as it takes you'll be ok, sounds stupid from a 14 year old but I've seen my mum go through it all and she's so much better :)
@calamityjenn1 I know, it's hell but you can do it, you are not alone. Alcohol was mine too and cannabis, but in the end it only brings more problems, I had and sometimes still have my breackdowns but it can be done. I had a breackdown recently, didn't had one for quite some time, started drinking again but now I'm sober for the last 2 months, BPD is something that you can't low your guard sort to speak... I know the feeling... carry on, you can do it, if I can you can. Good luck. Big hug.
I have just come to terms with my BPD...I was diagnosed at the age of 12....which my mom didn't tell me until I was in my 20's..I denied it...I'm 41 now, and yes, I have BPD and am going through the first stages of getting stable...it's hell...I'm an alcoholic also. Been sober 32 days now...alcohol was my way of pushing these feelings down, away, go numb....now I'm sober, and they are back with a vengence, screaming at me. I feel so alone, like I'm crazy now, I just want to be happy, HELP!!!!!!!
i cried and laughed and smiled and got angry and felt every emotion humanly possible to this video. and it summarized BPD (for me, anyway) perfectly. Thank you so much for this wonderful video :)
thank you for that picture of the phoenix :(( i am crying right now, but, i think this idea of being strong, being able to fight it and rise up again, may help me.. i am trying to get better, im trying really hard, but im finding it so dificult :( ive already done so much i should not have .. i dont know why i say all this, maybe you guys understand a bit :( ive struggled, but im trying to stop my "addictions".. what can i do, if i can not get therapy ? :(
As isolated as i feel in this world, videos like this makes me not feel so alone in this darkness......I work to explain my family an frnds to understand me, but none can and some just refuse. I sometimes wonder if I was ever really happy in all those smiling pictures. Ty for making me feel less alone in the dark:)
As isolated as i feel in this world, videos like this makes me not feel so alone in this darkness......I work to explain my family an frnds to understand me, but none can and some just refuse. I sometimes wonder if I was ever really happy in all those smiling pictures. Ty for making me feel less alone in the dark:)
I am losing my therapist, because she thinks i am being too depending on her. And she thinks having therapy with her is gonna make me more depressed. I have push her too far away and now she is abandoning me, just what i been afraid she would. :(
@TashaRichardsonFan1 That happens, I know, but is nobodys fault, bpd makes you easy to be sort of "dependant" some times and then you start to fear abandonement so you do desperate efforts to not loose it, that's a mistake we all do but don't worry, what your therapist is doing is good for you, good luck and carry on.
@DocStrange0123 i'm helping my Friend go through this disorder as i showed her the symptons and such. This video was an open eye-opener to both of us and i think she is now on the road to recovery, Thank you :)
Just because you have BDP doesn't mean you want to hurt yourself. There are different degrees of BDP and the best thing to do is find help and fast so you can get your life back. We all feel abandoned in the therapy and healing process and we all need support. Its during these times we are at our weakest. There are amazing people out there who will be there for you through this. It is all painful but each and every day is another day you have towards getting your life back. Be strong!
@triathlete8 yes, there are different degrees of BPD and every BPD is sort of "unique" to every person and yes doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself but it's quite common, also the desire to want to hurt yourself (self destructive thoughts are very common too; I absolutely agree, get a diagnose, aknowledge what you have and find help is essential, it's though and hard and painful, but it can be done, for some people it takes more time and for some it takes less. Thanks for you comment. :)
I am so afraid of being abandon and rejected. I push my therapist who i trusted and adore away. She asked me why am i pushing her away, i said*Because i don't want to loss you and i am afraid of losing you, so i pushing you away first before you end up rejecting me*. I am so sorry for pushing you away:(
@TashaRichardsonFan I know what that is, I did it myself in the past... it seems and it is a nightmare, but there's light at the end of the tunel, carry on and fight, try to be patient, I'm not gonna lie, it's a long hard trip to recovery and many times we fall, but we rise again... remember, darkness only stands out the splendour of dawn, you are not alone. Carry on. Good luck :)
every time when i see a real solution, and when i feel like everything is over, i know what will be in my head when i masturbate and i get low... no solution
Thank you for the video. Everytime I think that I am getting better something happens that makes me worse than I ever was before. This is one of the bad times, and Im not sure that I will ever be better, but your video makes me want to continue to fight. Thank You
Thanks for the video. Everytime I think I am getting better, I fall back and am worse than ever. Right now is one of those bad times and Im not sure that I will ever be better, but your video makes me want to continue to fight. Thank You.
@zanychik79 At the same time, you simply do not know what others are thinking or feeling. Some people appear to be into the game on screen, having a laugh with friends, drinking and singing their favourite songs with passion. But when they go home, the moment they are alone, that feeling rises from their gut and tries to choke them. And so the suffering has returned.
We should never make clear judgements on how people feel just by looking at them. Most depression etc sufferers understand this.
Nice video. If you would like someone to relate to, check out my videos or visit my website. I would really like to relate and assist in any way I can.
After 3 years of phychotherapy, the problem is that i dont know with whom to share all this. That i had all this but now i am fine..... i dont like to share it with someone who have never experience this hell. :( Only BPD can understand this living hell.
There is a treatment and with hard self-work and patience you can get throught all these. I made it, so you can. Dont give up. Fight for yourselves and your dreams.
Thanks for this wonderful video that expresses, so well, the experience of BPD. I have been living with it for years. The problem I find is finding affordable therapy. I know that DBT works, but my insurance only offers an introductory course. What is the most cost effective way to deal with this painful existence? I have had glimpses of hope but am in despair again. Thanks for your creativity!
@vincentdamian Thanks :) I just put my little grain of sand on this. I have universal health care, but I had the problem to find the doctor that really knew what was going on and gave me the propper medications after several attemps. tough question, every BPD is a universe in it's own and speciffic to every person despite common traits. I don't know how to answer that question. that happened to me too, ans still happens but with less intensity , hope and despair but it can be done, take care :)
This is exactly how i feel. I have insomnia, stress has made me really ill, i think suicidal thoughts practically every hour, i cry for no reason, i keep going up to the wall and bashing my head against it for no reason. My mum/friends haven't noticed the change, i'm always ignored and that gets me down. I've been to hospital with chest pains (caused by stress) and now i have to see a psychiatrist. I hope he can't sort me out cos i KNOW im going insane.Im 14 and my life has already gone bad :'[
@MelodyLee96 don't let that get you down; yes, that happened to me too, the chest pain and many other things; it's a good thing you go to a pschiatrist, try to have patience, it takes time... you can do it and you are not alone. All the best for you, good luck my friend, you'll overcome it, despite all be sure about that, someday you will...
i am 21 and a female and in the last 6 months i have being in and out of mental hospitals for suicide attemps depression manic rage and so on and recently i am so much better after talking to ppl taking meds and just trying to cope . there is hope i am now after 6 months off all medications and dont need to see counsellors anymore so anyone struggling out there u can do it ifff i can it just may take more time than u think but neva give up cause if i did i wouldnt be free today
@lambchopclmt don't take my words as an attack, I just want to help if I can... and talking about "if"... what if it seems you can't fight anymore but you can? what if you think that no one believes you and is not true? the first one who needs to aknowledge this is you and you have to call for help and seek professional help... what if it seems so unbearable that you think you can't do it despite you can?... YOU CAN... if I could do it you can do it too, you are not alone. Good luck, you can...
@DocStrange0123 u so can make it after 6 months pof being in hospital and losing everyone and tearing my family apart i am off all meds and not seeing anyone anymore and i feel free amazing luved there is hope just dont ever give up
@MrScreamShit He's has zero empathy, that's the problem... he makes the same bashing comments on every single video he can find on BPD... my guess is that some relative (extra guess: mybe his mother or ex-girlfriend) had dit and he couldn't overcome it, he's bitter... ,y siggestion: leave him alone, he could never understand what this is like... :) just check his channel... everybody "loves" hima... I'm beginning to consider a Troll alert...
I haven't been diagnosed with BPD as i don't have the courage to go to the doctor but I honestly feel just like you described in the video. I wondered for years what was wrong with me, now I found BPD and I relate to it so much. Someone who has it and would like to talk, please PM me, i need to know there's someone else who feels like me, as I can't stand it any longer :\ Thanks guys x Great video btw! :)
@akire993 a lot of people feels like you, in a different manner, every BPD is a world in it's own... but you are not alone. Do what you think you have to do but I 100% absolutely enncourage you to go to the doctor... it's not easy, it will take time I'm not gonna lie to you... but please go. Sorry for the late reply.
@verman9 Did you watch the video? I have BPD, or better said I had PBD, I'm not 100% ok but it can be done... how dare to undermine such a fight? how dare you to say such a thing? what do you know about BPD? Do you have it? do you know what is like? some of your relatives have it? if not, then shut the fuck up because you don't know what you are talking about.
@verman9 BPD is a serious illness okay, I have the worst case of BPD especially when I am not on medication, medication completely changes me, just an hour ago I was a complete crazy person, believing paranoid thoughts, crazy things that either have nothing to do with me or my mind makes me feel like it has a lot to do with me but now taking my meds I am calm, not paranoid like I was, I think better, have clarity and control, BPD folks & their kids r fine with medication!!!!!!!
omg that just sounds like me i tryed talking to someone but they just said its normal in teenagers but my life is living hell i dont know what to do any more and somethimes i hear things in my head and see shadow people as well and more can any one help me to try and tell me what is wrong with me plz
Can anyone tell me does this pain stop?? does it ever go away?? i dont know how much more i can deal with .... I need help I cant take this pain I want to just to stop breathing just to make the pain stop!! Why do the memories hurt more !! Why cant i stop these feelings and thoughts I know it is my illness but i just cant stop ?? Can i make them stop without hurting myself Sorry to post this but i dont know where to go to where people understand me and know why i am feeling Can anyone help
I am so sick of no one understanding me. I just wish someone I knew did... It would make this a lot easier. Instead, I am left alone with my thoughts and feelings of emptiness and despair.
@1lovescats ot's not easy... people who love you can go with you in this journey but it's difficult that they could fully understand it... they can't... I'm sorry but they can only be with you, the rest is up to you... and be sure no matter how many times you fall, you can do it. Good luck
I cant believe you can put into words everything i am feeling and thinking and knowing that i am not alone and someone knows what i am going thru . Thankyou so much
@DocStrange0123 Can anyone tell me does this pain stop? does it ever go away? i dont know how much more i can deal with .. I need help I cant take this pain I want to just to stop breathing just to make the pain stop!! Why do the memories hurt more !! Why cant i stop these feelings and thoughts I know it is my illness but i just cant stop? Can i make them stop without hurting myself Sorry to post this but i dont know where to go to where people understand me know why i am feeling Can anyone help
@skrwum8 I does... with time it does; sometimes it comes back, but it can be done... despite it's unpleasant and it sounds bad, try to fins professional help, it'll be long, it'll take time until you find the correct medication and a doctor that really helps... unfortunately I can't do more, just carry on.. there's a light at the end of the tunel, trust me 'cos I'm there. Good luck
Can anyone tell me does this pain stop?? does it ever go away?? i dont know how much more i can deal with .... I need help I cant take this pain I want to just to stop breathing just to make the pain stop!! Why do the memories hurt more !! Why cant i stop these feelings and thoughts I know it is my illness but i just cant stop ?? Can i make them stop without hurting myself Sorry to post this but i dont know where to go to where people understand me and know why i am feeling Can anyone help
@skrwum8 It does (sort of, I can't lie, but there's a huge difference and the pain becomes "tolerable" and even goes away but, it can come back if you let it, you just need time...). You don't have to say sorry for posting this at all; I say sorry I missed your comment; my advice: professional help, propper medication, therapy, patience (I know, it's not easy, I've been in the psychiatric area in a hospital 2 times) and fight... you'll be better I'm sure, just believe in yourself you can do it.
@thejudsterbaby You know some days are great like today but I know there is something around the corner that will turn my life upside down again. I wish i could hold onto the happiness like normal people but I cant I am always looking for that something bad to come. I appreciate the support I have no family that support me I have pushed them all away then blame them for abandoning me, I feel like I am crazy in the worst way but I know i am ok just wished i believed it
@skrwum8 I completely I agree with you, I have BPD and this video really touched me, I hope you feel better in time as I hope I do, I don't know about you but do you find when you are not on your meds you go crazy, for me that is the case?!
I always feel different and i feel emotion more intently and stronger than other people. I have attachment issue and i have suicidal and self-harm on my mind constantly:( I am in and out of therapy since 2002 and none of them seem to help me at all. Now i am seeing a very good therapist but i find it hard to open up. I end up closing my emotion and feeling up.
The part about not understanding and that they never will unless you feel it is exactly how I feel most people are like well try explaining it and dont get that I just can't. great vid thanks
Everytime that I feel like I have risen above this... I find myself right back where I started. I felt like I have improved, and then I realize I was only convincing myself things were better. It is hard and it is hell!
@sastevens23 I know that, it sucks... but think that you're not back to the start, is just a trip up... BPD is full of this but with time this will change... (sorry for being brief and simple, sleepy here) .. good luck
@nickyjones08 tough questions. to figure out where it came from, I wish I could help but unfortunately I can't, it could be part genetic, ambiental, chemical deregulation (Read the description, it might help), some repressed trauma.. many things, is another case in your close family of BPD?.. and how to become normal: patience, never quit, face the nightmare, stand still, if you fall you fall, after, stand up again and continue.. keep fighting, it will take time, you are not alone. Good Luck
This is such a beautiful video. In one 5-minute video you have summed up everything I feel and have felt my whole life, identify with and possibly the very reasons for all the problems in my relationships with practically everyone. Im sure there were plenty of talented, creative people out there who've had BPD and I think people need to know that like them, BPD makes them unique- which is the greatest asset you could have in my opinion.
@southlondonpimp thanks, glad you ike it, I hope no one ever had have or will h<ave to pass through BPD... yes, it's kinnda weird, I'm more creative when I'm broken...
@deadfish76 sorry I don't understand what "willdo" means, English is not my native language I had to learn it so some things I don't know what they mean... perhaps is "will do"? (I still don't understand it).
I was just recently diagnosed with BPD, and I am only 16. It feels like it won't ever get better. But, I am not giving up for now. I am (hopefully if insurance covers it) going to a center that does DBT which works well for people with BPD in Boston.
@LightningStormPictur That's the spirit, not give up, I'm wont sound paternalistic, I'm 32, your age is difficult... you'll have bad times and good times if it's recent, you'll have to be very patient, this is long, it requires time but it can be done. It's great that you are so open to go to a BPD center, sometimes people need time to make that desition that's very brave from you. it took me 7 years to overcome it, that's because docs diagnosed me bad (I'm not 100% OK but..) Good luck!
Thanks for the video. I am difficult to manage. :) That's what I've been told, at school, in jobs, in everyday life. I'm not talkative or outgoing, just very difficult to control. I don't abuse anything. I'm not violent, I try to be nice. Unpredictable. Volatile. Distant. I'm at a disadvantage so I work harder than NTs to succeed.
One day I embraced what I am. Accepted it. Developed coping strategies. I'm still difficult to manage. Sometimes. :)
I've just recently been diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (It's a name they have for BPD in the UK)
and this video made me cry and smile at the same time reading the horroble feelings and then just knowing i'm not alone is a big help. Thankyou for putting up this video.
@NGaard I understand how do you feel, I felt that too, and sometimes I still feeling it. Yes, recovery is quite slow, glad to hear you are recovering ^^... that's the key, never give up, thank for you comment, good luck and carry on :)
Cure videos are highly dangerous. One can tolerate things and loose the real poblem. Life isnt easy.Never was, never should be.But principally because of the bad characters one find in daily life. Dont be a clown. Be wise; keep your trap on secret , learn theater to lie, Sci books are free on the web. Be really bloody. Enjoy hate, but never afiliates to any organizations.Make a deep analisis of your revenge plan ,to warrant safe results.Tolerance gives a lot of money to the powerness.
@miguelmouta 1-this is not a "cure video" is a "hope/you are not alone video". 2- Yes, life is not easy BUT what do you know about BPD exactly? it's an illness, we are not attention seekers or something like that we have an illness, perhaps you should read the description in the side bar before judge people based onn something I thing you haven't got full understanding what's about. the rest of your comment makes no sense to me, wtf are you talking about? read the other comments too.
to be honest I don't know but it could be, some of the meds to treat it are antipsychotics based but they are not used because the patient has psychosis... it could be as well but I can't tell for certain.
it depends... but it's quite common that at a certain point dealing with BPD there is substance abuse. I had that impulse, it was like "I'ld do anything just to not have to feel this way", but substance abuse only brings more problems.
I'll not be able to reply to any comment for 10 days. I'll be out, it's personal; planning to make another video. Carry on people, keep fighting, good luck.
I've been diagnosed a short while ago and I've been watching a couple of videos on youtube on the subject and I have to say... It's an eye-opener. Everything makes a lot more "sense" all of a sudden (as much s
Cool Vid..alcohol helps...as does heroin..FUCK
the7thwreck 3 hours ago
Wow great video!! I think I m deff going to upload a video soon abt myself. I was diagnosed with severe BPD with depressive and anger symptoms half a yr ago by my therapist. Now I 've been to therapy for a year everything is getting worse ..and my therapist doesn't know how to help me since my situation is unique. Right..I feel no one in this world would understand and there is no "hope" ever exists.. And I'll be graduating with a Psychology B.A. in 2 months ..still there s no 'HOPE" at all..
Keelieliang 2 days ago
Gracias! Agradezco infinte. Tu info. Ademas entre en tu canal y pude ver otros temas muy inter. Para mi este medio me ayuda para aprender y conocer otrs formas de pensar y eso me enriquece..aun k no en todas este de acuerdo, y es bonito compartir y opinar dentro del margen de respeto.. para mi es Un retroalimentacion muy positiva y este caso BPD es un alivio saber que no estoy sola y que puedo hablar con alguien que me puede comprender..y eso es algo muy dificil de encontrar! :}
Libby1963E 2 days ago
Thank You! I was diagnost. 10 years ago, I was neglet. Denide..etc. now I recognice every thing that you said in this v. I suffer every day. A lot of mood changes.work and relashionsips difficults. I hide for weeks and months. I feel SCARE ..until J ware my mask..and I feel like "I can do" going out ..I hate, love, enjoy, etc..very deep. Like rolicoaster. Si alguien habl español y sufre esto POR FAVOR compartanlo..por k no hay mucha inf. En este idioma. Gracias..Muchas gracias por compartir!
Libby1963E 3 days ago
@Libby1963E Es una placer para mi poner mi pequeño granito de arena y si consigo confortar o ayudar a alguien me doy por más que satisfecho, Espero que todo te vaya bien y que sigas adelante. Si quieres más información hay un usuarios que tienen canales que se decican por entero al tema (por desgracia uno de los más grandes no se por que ha cerrado...) Suerte :)
DocStrange0123 2 days ago
I love what was said so much can someone tell me what the song was called playing in the background?:)
ToWriteOnHerArms 2 weeks ago
@ToWriteOnHerArms The song is: Broken. The band: Seether (with Amy Lee (Evanescence))... /watch?v=hPC2Fp7IT7o
DocStrange0123 2 weeks ago
1,5 year ago I was diagnost with Borderline and I searched for many years what was wrong with me. I must say... i have watched many vid but this one had the most meaning to me.. everything you says is true.. from beginning until the end!! Thank you so much for this vid.. I am now almost done with my STEPPS (Treatment Program for Borderline Personality Disorder) and I am feeling great the last few months!!! So again thank you very much!! With love Michaela
Michaela12081975 3 weeks ago
@Michaela12081975 Just my little grain of sand ;) I'm happy to hear you are better. Stay strong. Hugs
DocStrange0123 3 weeks ago
@echech1 No you are not alone... you are very welcome, don't worry about your english... English is not my native language as well :) maybe the description of this veideo might help you a little, if you have any questions please feel free ask.. I've been dealing with this for nearly a deacade, maybe I reply late but I'll try... (family stuff) remember, you are not alone! you can do it! it's a thing I always say, if I can you can, have no doubts about it! you can do it too!!! Hugs
DocStrange0123 1 month ago
Its an endless fight ... no otha comment !!!
echech1 1 month ago
@echech1 I know... but you can do it!!!
DocStrange0123 1 month ago
i have BPD. i know everything that you are going through. please keep fighting. right now i am trying to fight but it's very hard for me. their is hope. i probably don't believe that all the time but inside i know its true. you should know that their is also hope. be strong. please.
lovetodrinkink 1 month ago
Its scary how much this sounds like me.
how Ive been trying to find an answer since i was 5, and would pray at night to not wake up..
Anacole1000 1 month ago
I've tried not to let my diagnosis define me, but this is so true.
ohkeelyloves 2 months ago
Exactly how I feel and everyday is different but I make it through it I have good days and bad days like today all I want to do is hide under my duvet and cry but I'm not I'm fighting it and staying strong your video is great thanks love to all BPD suffers ( I'm BPD )
Emmjanearapoglu 2 months ago
I just watch you video and all the thing you've said on it, I can really relate to. I been feeling those feeling for a while now and to cope I've just drank and burn my self. so thank you for your video.
TheMinimouse20 2 months ago
great thoughtful words, awesome!
FantastyckplastycK 2 months ago
I wish I could get my diagnose soon... Been waiting for it for years but the doctors are so fucking slow. Really well described. I hate being like this. And I don't have any friends because of it.
DrummerElliott 2 months ago
Thank you for sharing this video with the world , as i am 36 and been living with this since i was 15 ! I am still battling every day of my life , it s nice to know i am not alone in this fight! Thank you for having the strength to make this video!
EnvaderJMT 3 months ago
Im reading up and i think i might have it. Just so you know im a kid so if you think its stupid you dont have to answer.
btwbffnews1 3 months ago
@btwbffnews1 I don't think it is stupid at all, but this is a not very well understood illness yet, sometimes it's difficult to diagnose and other disorders are similar (for example: bipolar) due to some common traits, it's better to not try to self diagnose and if you think you might have it 'cause you relate to some of the symptoms my advice would be to talk to your parents first and seek for professional opinion first as well. I really hope you don't have it. Good luck.
DocStrange0123 3 months ago
thanks for that.
All the best, Wingo
WingoStoverman 3 months ago
@WingoStoverman thanks :)
DocStrange0123 3 months ago
Hate myself for being like that, it's spoiled my relationship with someone who I really cared about, he just couldn't understand how come I can be so fucked up. I don't understand that either, feel like shit now, worthles shit. Don't wanna live
InezOrtiz 3 months ago
@InezOrtiz sorry for my late reply... I've been dealing with some difficult stuff... I only wish and hope you are better despite it's been 2 months... carrry on my friend, you can do it!
DocStrange0123 1 month ago
Thank you for making this.
TheSugarStreet 3 months ago
i understand this because i have this disorder as well
angelmariemorton 5 months ago
thank you soooooooooo much for making this video. i have severe BPD and it is HELL! i suffer every day because of it. i think its the worst disorder to have. i just want to survive. its very hard to survive from this. u are right! normal would never know how to deal with this. if they has this for one day. they would die instantly. btw i just want to tank u for saying their is hope because i never think their is hope. i understand how u feel.
lovetodrinkink 5 months ago
@lovetodrinkink sorry for the late reply... (lots of stff going on)... there is hope indeed... don't have any doubts about it! as I say in the vid, you are an ama¡zing, strong and beautiful person... you are dealing with this and one day you'll see the splendour of dawn!
DocStrange0123 1 month ago
A helpful and personal video. I thought what you wrote about your video, and about BPD was excellent. It is very important (and so few BPD folk know this) that Borderline symptoms tend to lessen with time/age. The most damaging symptoms can disappear - with time, therapy (guidance) and hope. I'm always glad to see a person who is recovered from the worst of it. Being more sensitive than most is not easy - but it's a thrilling life. Hang on, friends!
gayforlife2020 5 months ago
I feel that having bpd is really hard because of the behaviours of it, people just think i'm crazy or an alcohlic they cant actually see the emotional pain i feel every day. The fear of abandonment is the worse part for me as it causes panic attacks and i think that whole abandonment issue is the main part of this illness , it can turn you psychotic
missdarkangelxxx 6 months ago
spot on... i have bpd and you nailed it , thanks xx
rebeccaparker1991 6 months ago
I like your video it's nice to watch a video and to be able to completely relate to it.
I feel all the emotions and more...Great Vid!
EmmaFromEngland 7 months ago
I cried while watching this. cause I have one, when it attacks me. I swear, I feel like my world collapse and everything. being rejected feels like I want to die. but I am a normal person. people just really cant understand me. and now, atleast I found what I have. I hope I could cure it, cause even my parents are fucked up with how my behavior goes!!!
saydiesadista 7 months ago
@saydiesadista Thanks for your comment, I know that feeling, you are not alone, carry on, you can do it :) hugs
DocStrange0123 7 months ago
@DocStrange0123 the problem with me is, I'm perfect. people likes me because I'm pretty, talented too and very creative, rich and experienced! etcetera. but the problem is that, I always wanted to be alone rather than being with people. because I'm scared to approach them, cause I'm scared of rejected or maybe they wont like me. is that really a part of BPD, this is why I prefer internet more because there is no rejection happening or something like that. -____-. I really cant understand ;_(
saydiesadista 7 months ago
@saydiesadista Is a very common trait, real or imaginary abandonement fears... with time you learn to deal with that, more or less, not easy but it can be done :)
DocStrange0123 7 months ago
@DocStrange0123 I have last question. cause this is bothering, is it PROPER for a BPD person to know that they have this? or they have Borderline Personality. I'm sorry for asking this, it seems it has a negative effects on me. lol! if you say it has a positive way, then tell ne why? and how is it positive or good to let some BPD person to know that he or she has this fucking personality disorder?
saydiesadista 7 months ago
@saydiesadista well, usually doctors don't tell you have BPD until some time has passed, it's the normal procedure I think, but then is good that you know what you have, I can only talk from my experience though, my doctor waited about 1 year to tell me what I really had (I was in hospital (isolation) 2 times during that period). It happened the same to me, first it seems it has negative effects, but then slowly it changes as you start fighting it... as I said, I can only talk from y experience
DocStrange0123 7 months ago
@DocStrange0123 great, thanks. anyway.. just block that ireallyhatenoobs before she destroyed ur video comments. she is just retarded mofo who came outer space just to fuck me here. I dont know him. so before she brings a big shit storm her flaming me. kindly block her. thank u! god! I
saydiesadista 7 months ago
@saydiesadista ulol di ka maganda gago! nakita ko pinost mo rito ang panget mo gago weirdo putang ina pakamatay kana
ireallyhatenoobs 7 months ago
Comment removed
saydiesadista 7 months ago
@ireallyhatenoobs Translate what you said into english, I've been asked to block you (I will not tolerate any kind of trolling etcetera in this video specifically), but since I can't understand what you said I want to wait to get all the facts... (72 hours until blocked if I get no news from you...)
DocStrange0123 7 months ago
recovery is possible. i didn't believe it until i read the ny times article about marsha linehan admitting to have had borderline (Expert on Mental Illness Reveals Her Own Fight, published on june 23)
amasocialworker 8 months ago
Wonderful, very Beautiful
ClarissaRose82 9 months ago
@ClarissaRose82 Thanks
DocStrange0123 8 months ago
I have just come to terms with my BPD...I was diagnosed at the age of 12....which my mom didn't tell me until I was in my 20's..I denied it...I'm 41 now, and yes, I have BPD and am going through the first stages of getting stable...it's hell...I'm an alcoholic also. Been sober 32 days now...alcohol was my way of pushing these feelings down, away, go numb....now I'm sober, and they are back with a vengence, screaming at me. I feel so alone, like I'm crazy now, I just want to be happy, HELP!!
calamityjenn1 9 months ago
@calamityjenn1 My mums 44 I think, she has BPD and bipolar, she used to be an alcoholic and she was suicidal to but now she's soooo much better. Trust me as long as it takes you'll be ok, sounds stupid from a 14 year old but I've seen my mum go through it all and she's so much better :)
xxPurpleTurtle 9 months ago
@calamityjenn1 I know, it's hell but you can do it, you are not alone. Alcohol was mine too and cannabis, but in the end it only brings more problems, I had and sometimes still have my breackdowns but it can be done. I had a breackdown recently, didn't had one for quite some time, started drinking again but now I'm sober for the last 2 months, BPD is something that you can't low your guard sort to speak... I know the feeling... carry on, you can do it, if I can you can. Good luck. Big hug.
DocStrange0123 8 months ago
I have just come to terms with my BPD...I was diagnosed at the age of 12....which my mom didn't tell me until I was in my 20's..I denied it...I'm 41 now, and yes, I have BPD and am going through the first stages of getting stable...it's hell...I'm an alcoholic also. Been sober 32 days now...alcohol was my way of pushing these feelings down, away, go numb....now I'm sober, and they are back with a vengence, screaming at me. I feel so alone, like I'm crazy now, I just want to be happy, HELP!!!!!!!
calamityjenn1 9 months ago
i cried and laughed and smiled and got angry and felt every emotion humanly possible to this video. and it summarized BPD (for me, anyway) perfectly. Thank you so much for this wonderful video :)
poisonluke8 9 months ago
Thanks for helping me understand what b.p.d. is and what someone feels inside.
TheDacross 9 months ago
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mighehe 9 months ago
@mighehe From Google... copyright free... it's aPhoenix
DocStrange0123 9 months ago
Bi Winning!
Warpcomplex 9 months ago
Thank you so much for putting up this video...Its made me understand myself more. Thank you.
Mollyharwood1234 10 months ago
finally somebody who understands :'( :'( :'(
AuroraElite 10 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
finally somebody who understands :'( :'( :'(
AuroraElite 10 months ago
finally somebody who understands :'( :'( :'(
AuroraElite 10 months ago
thank you for that picture of the phoenix :(( i am crying right now, but, i think this idea of being strong, being able to fight it and rise up again, may help me.. i am trying to get better, im trying really hard, but im finding it so dificult :( ive already done so much i should not have .. i dont know why i say all this, maybe you guys understand a bit :( ive struggled, but im trying to stop my "addictions".. what can i do, if i can not get therapy ? :(
demonika0 10 months ago
So true thx 4 sharing this vid it so fits
TazzyTaz03 10 months ago
As isolated as i feel in this world, videos like this makes me not feel so alone in this darkness......I work to explain my family an frnds to understand me, but none can and some just refuse. I sometimes wonder if I was ever really happy in all those smiling pictures. Ty for making me feel less alone in the dark:)
manda2626 10 months ago
As isolated as i feel in this world, videos like this makes me not feel so alone in this darkness......I work to explain my family an frnds to understand me, but none can and some just refuse. I sometimes wonder if I was ever really happy in all those smiling pictures. Ty for making me feel less alone in the dark:)
manda2626 10 months ago
Thank you so much! is all I can say.
jimmythered 10 months ago
i feel alone
LucieMarieRudge 10 months ago
I am losing my therapist, because she thinks i am being too depending on her. And she thinks having therapy with her is gonna make me more depressed. I have push her too far away and now she is abandoning me, just what i been afraid she would. :(
TashaRichardsonFan1 11 months ago
@TashaRichardsonFan1 That happens, I know, but is nobodys fault, bpd makes you easy to be sort of "dependant" some times and then you start to fear abandonement so you do desperate efforts to not loose it, that's a mistake we all do but don't worry, what your therapist is doing is good for you, good luck and carry on.
DocStrange0123 11 months ago
Thanks!!!
iman11nami 11 months ago
Please somebody tell me who is singing this song
iman11nami 1 year ago
@iman11nami Band: Seether (with the colaboration of Amy Lee (Evanescence) ) Song: Broken
watch?v=hPC2Fp7IT7o
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
I can't remember what being happy mean anymore. :(
TashaRichardsonFan1 1 year ago 2
@TashaRichardsonFan1 I know what that's like...
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@DocStrange0123 i'm helping my Friend go through this disorder as i showed her the symptons and such. This video was an open eye-opener to both of us and i think she is now on the road to recovery, Thank you :)
monkuWoW 10 months ago
@monkuWoW I'm happy to hear that, it's the way to go. Good luck to your friend. :)
DocStrange0123 10 months ago
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marcycrx 11 months ago
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marcycrx 11 months ago
me too love this video its so true every word just wanna curl up in a ball and dissapear at the mo :(
marcycrx 11 months ago
Just because you have BDP doesn't mean you want to hurt yourself. There are different degrees of BDP and the best thing to do is find help and fast so you can get your life back. We all feel abandoned in the therapy and healing process and we all need support. Its during these times we are at our weakest. There are amazing people out there who will be there for you through this. It is all painful but each and every day is another day you have towards getting your life back. Be strong!
triathlete8 1 year ago
@triathlete8 yes, there are different degrees of BPD and every BPD is sort of "unique" to every person and yes doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself but it's quite common, also the desire to want to hurt yourself (self destructive thoughts are very common too; I absolutely agree, get a diagnose, aknowledge what you have and find help is essential, it's though and hard and painful, but it can be done, for some people it takes more time and for some it takes less. Thanks for you comment. :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
thank you for creating and sharing this !! your amazing. gave me chills.
just shared this video on fb - trying to raise awareness for mental illness.
i struggle from severe anxiety disorder, depression, and post traumatic
stress disorder. add me if you want on fb. Jennifer Prim - pic is a hand
with the words " you are good enough " written on them. thank you again!
brokenandscarred79 1 year ago
I am so afraid of being abandon and rejected. I push my therapist who i trusted and adore away. She asked me why am i pushing her away, i said*Because i don't want to loss you and i am afraid of losing you, so i pushing you away first before you end up rejecting me*. I am so sorry for pushing you away:(
TashaRichardsonFan 1 year ago
@TashaRichardsonFan I know what that is, I did it myself in the past... it seems and it is a nightmare, but there's light at the end of the tunel, carry on and fight, try to be patient, I'm not gonna lie, it's a long hard trip to recovery and many times we fall, but we rise again... remember, darkness only stands out the splendour of dawn, you are not alone. Carry on. Good luck :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@DocStrange0123
Thanks for the encouragement. My therapist is very good and we are very close:)
TashaRichardsonFan 1 year ago
@TashaRichardsonFan Any time. That's good, carry on :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
every time when i see a real solution, and when i feel like everything is over, i know what will be in my head when i masturbate and i get low... no solution
ZEKASING 1 year ago
be gone hurricane, cant take it anymore
777anette 1 year ago
I have BPD , in long term therapy for it at the moment , but i just cant be fucked with it anymore.
RICHENSTONY 1 year ago
Thank you for the video. Everytime I think that I am getting better something happens that makes me worse than I ever was before. This is one of the bad times, and Im not sure that I will ever be better, but your video makes me want to continue to fight. Thank You
moles494 1 year ago
Thanks for the video. Everytime I think I am getting better, I fall back and am worse than ever. Right now is one of those bad times and Im not sure that I will ever be better, but your video makes me want to continue to fight. Thank You.
moles494 1 year ago
Im not sure if I can get better...........
agirlinterupted 1 year ago
@agirlinterupted you can... :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@zanychik79 My point being that we can be surprised when we enter another person's mind/heart. Even the ones who look happy.
But I do understand you.
Take care.
(Tao, or Dudeism, or Existential meaning)
Doc G
RottenDoctorGonzo 1 year ago
@zanychik79 At the same time, you simply do not know what others are thinking or feeling. Some people appear to be into the game on screen, having a laugh with friends, drinking and singing their favourite songs with passion. But when they go home, the moment they are alone, that feeling rises from their gut and tries to choke them. And so the suffering has returned.
We should never make clear judgements on how people feel just by looking at them. Most depression etc sufferers understand this.
RottenDoctorGonzo 1 year ago
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Nice video. If you would like someone to relate to, check out my videos or visit my website. I would really like to relate and assist in any way I can.
rbogdewic 1 year ago
After 3 years of phychotherapy, the problem is that i dont know with whom to share all this. That i had all this but now i am fine..... i dont like to share it with someone who have never experience this hell. :( Only BPD can understand this living hell.
There is a treatment and with hard self-work and patience you can get throught all these. I made it, so you can. Dont give up. Fight for yourselves and your dreams.
Good luck for all of you out there :(
InterpretationDream 1 year ago
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abalexbare 1 year ago
Thanks for this wonderful video that expresses, so well, the experience of BPD. I have been living with it for years. The problem I find is finding affordable therapy. I know that DBT works, but my insurance only offers an introductory course. What is the most cost effective way to deal with this painful existence? I have had glimpses of hope but am in despair again. Thanks for your creativity!
vincentdamian 1 year ago 2
@vincentdamian Thanks :) I just put my little grain of sand on this. I have universal health care, but I had the problem to find the doctor that really knew what was going on and gave me the propper medications after several attemps. tough question, every BPD is a universe in it's own and speciffic to every person despite common traits. I don't know how to answer that question. that happened to me too, ans still happens but with less intensity , hope and despair but it can be done, take care :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
This is exactly how i feel. I have insomnia, stress has made me really ill, i think suicidal thoughts practically every hour, i cry for no reason, i keep going up to the wall and bashing my head against it for no reason. My mum/friends haven't noticed the change, i'm always ignored and that gets me down. I've been to hospital with chest pains (caused by stress) and now i have to see a psychiatrist. I hope he can't sort me out cos i KNOW im going insane.Im 14 and my life has already gone bad :'[
MelodyLee96 1 year ago
@MelodyLee96 don't let that get you down; yes, that happened to me too, the chest pain and many other things; it's a good thing you go to a pschiatrist, try to have patience, it takes time... you can do it and you are not alone. All the best for you, good luck my friend, you'll overcome it, despite all be sure about that, someday you will...
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
i am 21 and a female and in the last 6 months i have being in and out of mental hospitals for suicide attemps depression manic rage and so on and recently i am so much better after talking to ppl taking meds and just trying to cope . there is hope i am now after 6 months off all medications and dont need to see counsellors anymore so anyone struggling out there u can do it ifff i can it just may take more time than u think but neva give up cause if i did i wouldnt be free today
wanderinggirl20 1 year ago
what if you can't fight anymore? what if no one believes you and will help you get help? what if you just can't do it?
lambchopclmt 1 year ago
@lambchopclmt don't take my words as an attack, I just want to help if I can... and talking about "if"... what if it seems you can't fight anymore but you can? what if you think that no one believes you and is not true? the first one who needs to aknowledge this is you and you have to call for help and seek professional help... what if it seems so unbearable that you think you can't do it despite you can?... YOU CAN... if I could do it you can do it too, you are not alone. Good luck, you can...
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@DocStrange0123 u so can make it after 6 months pof being in hospital and losing everyone and tearing my family apart i am off all meds and not seeing anyone anymore and i feel free amazing luved there is hope just dont ever give up
wanderinggirl20 1 year ago
@MrScreamShit He's has zero empathy, that's the problem... he makes the same bashing comments on every single video he can find on BPD... my guess is that some relative (extra guess: mybe his mother or ex-girlfriend) had dit and he couldn't overcome it, he's bitter... ,y siggestion: leave him alone, he could never understand what this is like... :) just check his channel... everybody "loves" hima... I'm beginning to consider a Troll alert...
take care :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
wel i feel my self 100% like you greets jelle
gangsta411blizz 1 year ago
I haven't been diagnosed with BPD as i don't have the courage to go to the doctor but I honestly feel just like you described in the video. I wondered for years what was wrong with me, now I found BPD and I relate to it so much. Someone who has it and would like to talk, please PM me, i need to know there's someone else who feels like me, as I can't stand it any longer :\ Thanks guys x Great video btw! :)
akire993 1 year ago
@akire993 a lot of people feels like you, in a different manner, every BPD is a world in it's own... but you are not alone. Do what you think you have to do but I 100% absolutely enncourage you to go to the doctor... it's not easy, it will take time I'm not gonna lie to you... but please go. Sorry for the late reply.
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@DocStrange0123
Thanks for your reply :)
akire993 1 year ago
@akire993 Any time ;)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@akire993 im just like you! only i got diagnosed bipolar! i do feel excatly like the vid describes..it is scarry.
hobo31009 1 year ago
I just hope you'll never have children. The pain and suffering and torture you BPD people inflict on your children is unforgivable.
verman9 1 year ago
@verman9 Did you watch the video? I have BPD, or better said I had PBD, I'm not 100% ok but it can be done... how dare to undermine such a fight? how dare you to say such a thing? what do you know about BPD? Do you have it? do you know what is like? some of your relatives have it? if not, then shut the fuck up because you don't know what you are talking about.
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@verman9 BPD is a serious illness okay, I have the worst case of BPD especially when I am not on medication, medication completely changes me, just an hour ago I was a complete crazy person, believing paranoid thoughts, crazy things that either have nothing to do with me or my mind makes me feel like it has a lot to do with me but now taking my meds I am calm, not paranoid like I was, I think better, have clarity and control, BPD folks & their kids r fine with medication!!!!!!!
ChristianKalos 1 year ago
I HUG all those who know how this feels...
My BPD has been a slow hum behind a mask over the years...only Buddhist meditation helped.
An ugly divorce/custody battle destroyed my resolve and strength...chipping away at me..over 5 years.
Ironically, during the divorce period, my major outlet of frenzy energy.. was working in a mental hospital, and a home massage practice.
In 2005, I changed cities (and let mask down) I sunk deep..
I only resurfaced last month...thanks to LEXAPRO an SSRI drug
doublechocolatedog 1 year ago
omg that just sounds like me i tryed talking to someone but they just said its normal in teenagers but my life is living hell i dont know what to do any more and somethimes i hear things in my head and see shadow people as well and more can any one help me to try and tell me what is wrong with me plz
katie666ful 1 year ago
life is hell with bpd. im living in fucking hell.
Shnazle12 1 year ago
@Shnazle12 I know; I know it's not easy but never give up... there's light at the end of the tunnel.
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Can anyone tell me does this pain stop?? does it ever go away?? i dont know how much more i can deal with .... I need help I cant take this pain I want to just to stop breathing just to make the pain stop!! Why do the memories hurt more !! Why cant i stop these feelings and thoughts I know it is my illness but i just cant stop ?? Can i make them stop without hurting myself Sorry to post this but i dont know where to go to where people understand me and know why i am feeling Can anyone help
skrwum8 1 year ago
I am so sick of no one understanding me. I just wish someone I knew did... It would make this a lot easier. Instead, I am left alone with my thoughts and feelings of emptiness and despair.
1lovescats 1 year ago
@1lovescats ot's not easy... people who love you can go with you in this journey but it's difficult that they could fully understand it... they can't... I'm sorry but they can only be with you, the rest is up to you... and be sure no matter how many times you fall, you can do it. Good luck
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@zanychik79 Not I.
1lovescats 1 year ago
I cant believe you can put into words everything i am feeling and thinking and knowing that i am not alone and someone knows what i am going thru . Thankyou so much
skrwum8 1 year ago 7
@skrwum8 you're always welcome :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@DocStrange0123 Can anyone tell me does this pain stop? does it ever go away? i dont know how much more i can deal with .. I need help I cant take this pain I want to just to stop breathing just to make the pain stop!! Why do the memories hurt more !! Why cant i stop these feelings and thoughts I know it is my illness but i just cant stop? Can i make them stop without hurting myself Sorry to post this but i dont know where to go to where people understand me know why i am feeling Can anyone help
skrwum8 1 year ago
@skrwum8 I does... with time it does; sometimes it comes back, but it can be done... despite it's unpleasant and it sounds bad, try to fins professional help, it'll be long, it'll take time until you find the correct medication and a doctor that really helps... unfortunately I can't do more, just carry on.. there's a light at the end of the tunel, trust me 'cos I'm there. Good luck
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
Can anyone tell me does this pain stop?? does it ever go away?? i dont know how much more i can deal with .... I need help I cant take this pain I want to just to stop breathing just to make the pain stop!! Why do the memories hurt more !! Why cant i stop these feelings and thoughts I know it is my illness but i just cant stop ?? Can i make them stop without hurting myself Sorry to post this but i dont know where to go to where people understand me and know why i am feeling Can anyone help
skrwum8 1 year ago
@skrwum8 It does (sort of, I can't lie, but there's a huge difference and the pain becomes "tolerable" and even goes away but, it can come back if you let it, you just need time...). You don't have to say sorry for posting this at all; I say sorry I missed your comment; my advice: professional help, propper medication, therapy, patience (I know, it's not easy, I've been in the psychiatric area in a hospital 2 times) and fight... you'll be better I'm sure, just believe in yourself you can do it.
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@skrwum8 hey, i know your hurting a lot, but i promise it gets a little easier mate
thejudsterbaby 1 year ago
@skrwum8 hey, i know your hurting a lot, but i promise it gets a little easier mate. please keep your chin up, message me if you need
thejudsterbaby 1 year ago
@thejudsterbaby Thanks :)
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@thejudsterbaby You know some days are great like today but I know there is something around the corner that will turn my life upside down again. I wish i could hold onto the happiness like normal people but I cant I am always looking for that something bad to come. I appreciate the support I have no family that support me I have pushed them all away then blame them for abandoning me, I feel like I am crazy in the worst way but I know i am ok just wished i believed it
skrwum8 1 year ago
@skrwum8 I completely I agree with you, I have BPD and this video really touched me, I hope you feel better in time as I hope I do, I don't know about you but do you find when you are not on your meds you go crazy, for me that is the case?!
ChristianKalos 1 year ago
I always feel different and i feel emotion more intently and stronger than other people. I have attachment issue and i have suicidal and self-harm on my mind constantly:( I am in and out of therapy since 2002 and none of them seem to help me at all. Now i am seeing a very good therapist but i find it hard to open up. I end up closing my emotion and feeling up.
TashaRichardsonFan1 1 year ago
@zanychik79 I had
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@immortalmadness86 o.O ???????
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
I regret ever trusting people to let loose, have fun, enjoy my time
I always
always
always
regret thinking everything's okay
the disappointment is crushing
Teema 1 year ago
The part about not understanding and that they never will unless you feel it is exactly how I feel most people are like well try explaining it and dont get that I just can't. great vid thanks
skaty825 1 year ago
Everytime that I feel like I have risen above this... I find myself right back where I started. I felt like I have improved, and then I realize I was only convincing myself things were better. It is hard and it is hell!
sastevens23 1 year ago
@sastevens23 I know that, it sucks... but think that you're not back to the start, is just a trip up... BPD is full of this but with time this will change... (sorry for being brief and simple, sleepy here) .. good luck
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@askingforit1990 it's ok :) glad u like it.
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
@nickyjones08 tough questions. to figure out where it came from, I wish I could help but unfortunately I can't, it could be part genetic, ambiental, chemical deregulation (Read the description, it might help), some repressed trauma.. many things, is another case in your close family of BPD?.. and how to become normal: patience, never quit, face the nightmare, stand still, if you fall you fall, after, stand up again and continue.. keep fighting, it will take time, you are not alone. Good Luck
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
This is such a beautiful video. In one 5-minute video you have summed up everything I feel and have felt my whole life, identify with and possibly the very reasons for all the problems in my relationships with practically everyone. Im sure there were plenty of talented, creative people out there who've had BPD and I think people need to know that like them, BPD makes them unique- which is the greatest asset you could have in my opinion.
southlondonpimp 1 year ago
@southlondonpimp thanks, glad you ike it, I hope no one ever had have or will h<ave to pass through BPD... yes, it's kinnda weird, I'm more creative when I'm broken...
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
yup i meant to say "will do"
deadfish76 1 year ago
willdo
deadfish76 1 year ago
@deadfish76 sorry I don't understand what "willdo" means, English is not my native language I had to learn it so some things I don't know what they mean... perhaps is "will do"? (I still don't understand it).
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
I was just recently diagnosed with BPD, and I am only 16. It feels like it won't ever get better. But, I am not giving up for now. I am (hopefully if insurance covers it) going to a center that does DBT which works well for people with BPD in Boston.
LightningStormPictur 1 year ago
@LightningStormPictur That's the spirit, not give up, I'm wont sound paternalistic, I'm 32, your age is difficult... you'll have bad times and good times if it's recent, you'll have to be very patient, this is long, it requires time but it can be done. It's great that you are so open to go to a BPD center, sometimes people need time to make that desition that's very brave from you. it took me 7 years to overcome it, that's because docs diagnosed me bad (I'm not 100% OK but..) Good luck!
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
thx 4 the upload..
I can completely relate 2 u .. although I was not diagnosed ..yet ...
since we all don't belong, how come we don't have our own world, and we all live in it :D then we don't feel not belonged ... just a bright idea lol
thx again :)
fucked000up 1 year ago
any time :) thanks for your comment
DocStrange0123 1 year ago
Thanks for the video. I am difficult to manage. :) That's what I've been told, at school, in jobs, in everyday life. I'm not talkative or outgoing, just very difficult to control. I don't abuse anything. I'm not violent, I try to be nice. Unpredictable. Volatile. Distant. I'm at a disadvantage so I work harder than NTs to succeed.
One day I embraced what I am. Accepted it. Developed coping strategies. I'm still difficult to manage. Sometimes. :)
Knowledge is power over uncertainty. Use it.
sausagedogheaven 2 years ago
I've just recently been diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (It's a name they have for BPD in the UK)
and this video made me cry and smile at the same time reading the horroble feelings and then just knowing i'm not alone is a big help. Thankyou for putting up this video.
666PhAnTaSiA666 2 years ago
I very much related to and appreciated this video....Thank you...we all need hope
redheartstoo 2 years ago
@redheartstoo Thanks, glad you like it. Yes, we all need hope... and there's hope...
Good luck, carry on! :)
DocStrange0123 2 years ago
@NGaard I understand how do you feel, I felt that too, and sometimes I still feeling it. Yes, recovery is quite slow, glad to hear you are recovering ^^... that's the key, never give up, thank for you comment, good luck and carry on :)
DocStrange0123 2 years ago
Cure videos are highly dangerous. One can tolerate things and loose the real poblem. Life isnt easy.Never was, never should be.But principally because of the bad characters one find in daily life. Dont be a clown. Be wise; keep your trap on secret , learn theater to lie, Sci books are free on the web. Be really bloody. Enjoy hate, but never afiliates to any organizations.Make a deep analisis of your revenge plan ,to warrant safe results.Tolerance gives a lot of money to the powerness.
miguelmouta 2 years ago
@miguelmouta 1-this is not a "cure video" is a "hope/you are not alone video". 2- Yes, life is not easy BUT what do you know about BPD exactly? it's an illness, we are not attention seekers or something like that we have an illness, perhaps you should read the description in the side bar before judge people based onn something I thing you haven't got full understanding what's about. the rest of your comment makes no sense to me, wtf are you talking about? read the other comments too.
DocStrange0123 2 years ago
can people with this disorder also suffer from psychosis as well?
blackkat77 2 years ago
to be honest I don't know but it could be, some of the meds to treat it are antipsychotics based but they are not used because the patient has psychosis... it could be as well but I can't tell for certain.
DocStrange0123 2 years ago
YEp, If they start drinking and take lots of drugs
kriskrisuk 2 years ago
it depends... but it's quite common that at a certain point dealing with BPD there is substance abuse. I had that impulse, it was like "I'ld do anything just to not have to feel this way", but substance abuse only brings more problems.
DocStrange0123 2 years ago
Comment removed
miguelmouta 2 years ago
BPD people make everyone else's life a living hell.They are the true victims.
bravo90543 2 years ago
I'll not be able to reply to any comment for 10 days. I'll be out, it's personal; planning to make another video. Carry on people, keep fighting, good luck.
DocStrange0123 2 years ago
I've been diagnosed a short while ago and I've been watching a couple of videos on youtube on the subject and I have to say... It's an eye-opener. Everything makes a lot more "sense" all of a sudden (as much s