How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you self injure

[TerribleTeedy]

thank you, thank you, thank you

you helped ALOT.

have a nice life,

teddy :)

[ANDYB1478]

I don't have any fucking friends!

[halesma2]

This is a great video. Its so hard to tell your girlfriend if they don't know, and I guess it depends on the person but if they really do care about you I think they will understand. My experience is that they will be very concerned but so respectful and helpful, so mine was positive, but definitely it has to be a committed relationship. If its that serious they probably already know you are depressed at least sometimes.

[notohaterz]

When are you going to make more vids?!

[retroscenery]

What really helped me with my boyfriend was telling him before we got intimate or had sex. It made him a lot more prepared and like he could trust me BECAUSE I was willing to tell him.

[MsxxFluffyxxKitty]

Being younger, having a relationship and then breaking up, and getting hurt.. Well I know how that feels..

[321Chocolatelover]

so much respect for you <3

[TheEyez82]

ok one, you are sooo pretty and your videos help me SO much! 2, every rude person that makes rude stupid comments can fuck off why are you wasting her time by posting these irrelevant comments?? 3. Thank you for everything you do and if you were a "qualified counselor" I'd probably go to you haha

[mysticpizza77]

Hi,,This is actually my 1st post and somehow your video poped up and i started to watch some others..wow...i must say that you are much braver than I was at your age. I think what your saying IS important. Sorry, if im off topic on your this video subject but I just wanted you to know,,, what you say really matters and i guess nothing will change unless we all speak up and stand for something. Keep on posting ,,,you're doing a great job!

[xDropDeadDarlingx]

I soooo could've used this video back in March.

I actually ended up telling my boyfriend because he saw a few recent cuts, and i went over better than I expected. He's very supportive of me, and helps me in any way he can. I've only slipped once since I told him, and he's so proud of me :)

[warwinpink22]

I just wanted to let you know that I think you are beautiful. :) And even though I am not a self-injurer, I want to thank you for giving your adivce for those who are or were. And I also want to thank you for opening my eyes to how big this problem is, and you have made me respect those people who have done it or still do it. Thank you so much!

[christianteen92]

@ xsullengirlx i am currently in recovery on august eight it will be one month SI/SH free. I love what you said " Everyone has scars on the inside But we just happen to have them on the outside" and i was wondering if i could use that line for a recovery tattoo i will be gettting i would really appreciate it. what you said is extreamly true and i would love to be able to use it for everyone to see.

[xsullengirlx]

@christianteen92 Congrats on your ongoing recovery! I know you can do it, stay strong :) I'm very proud of you. <3 Of course you can use any line you want to, I'd love to see it when it's done.

[bkelaries]

I used to worry all the time that people would ask about my scars but no one has(at least not since secondary school) I think people see them and just know what they are and I've never met someone who was funny about it or rude. If anyone did ask me though I'd just say I used to cut myself.If they asked why I'd just say 'I was struggling at the time and it helped me'. If they kept asking questions I'd just tell them I didn't really want to talk about it.

[jessbeth01]

Me and my boyfriend both self harm. That's how we got together, we started talking about it to try and help eachother and ended up together two days later

[AwayWithTheFairies95]

My boyfriend cuts himself but he doesn't know I do (I have been for about almost 5 years) and we are both on a big low right now and I really wanna tell him because no one knows and its killing me. I don't wanna put him under anymore stress but equally I am close to the edge and I don't know how much longer I can last on my own. Should I tell him that I have been cutting? Xx

[strangeaslife]

@AwayWithTheFairies95 You should see a therapist but also be honest to your boyfriend about what you're going through. If you can't afford a therapist, there *are* free counselors you can see. You should be honest with him about what's going on with you, but tell him that he doesn't need to worry too much because you are going to help yourself by seeing a therapist and maybe he'll end up seeing one also. Best to both of you..

[dinoxdanger]

my boyfriend guessed that I have and he asked me about it and I told him. it was kinda weird. butr atleast I didn't have to tell him myself! lol!

[snowy931]

First I want to say that you look gorgeous,like always.Second I want to thank you that for a countless time you gave me very helpful advices!

[BrunetteButtercup]

Hehe Okaii =3 I never had to tell my family coz I told one girl I thought was a friend but she thought I was lying for attention and she told my parents out of spite bu yerr no. My dad didn't even care x

[MegaBumlick]

lesbiann



[xsullengirlx]

@MegaBumlick And your point is? Oh right, you're a troll and don't have one! If that was meant to offend me, you failed :)

[BrunetteButtercup]

You're reallyyy pretty, wish I looked like yhouu. No homo =3 xx

[xsullengirlx]

@BrunetteButtercup thank you, but for future reference, no one is going to think you're homosexual if you tell someone of the same sex they look nice. :)

[DragonflysCompass]

Not to get off track (I love that you're taking a stand, by the way!) But I have the same exact Miss Monroe cutout in my bedroom as well. :)

[xsullengirlx]

@DragonflysCompass great minds think alike, and obviously you have great taste! :D

[xBrokenxPaperxDollsx]

My boyfriend and I both used to self injure. He still does it sometimes but I don't. I've recovered enough where I can fight the urge. I still HAVE the urge often. But I think i'm strong enough to fight it. he and I revealed that before we even started dating. And as long as we've been together, neither of us have done it. I promised him I wouldn't do it and he promised me that he wouldn't. having an open and honest relationship works wonders for recovering self injurers. at least for us.

[somekindamillie]

you look so pretty :D great advice

[TheEyez82]

LOVE ur hair!!! and ur videos lol they are extremely helpful :)

[GallopGirl40]

I can't tell anyone how to your boyfriend or friend that you SI because I told my best friend first and she had done it too and she was very "Oh well, everyone does it" and didn't ask questions or worry. I then told my boyfriend and he was very "Oh well" about it too, he was just like "Yeah, my ex use to do that too" and didn't really care, but even though I know he didn't mind I still warned him about the bad scars on my leg. I do say it was nice not having them freak out about it.

[theanxiousone1]

R u even qualified in counseling? I highly doubt it

[xsullengirlx]

@theanxiousone1 I'm not a counselor, and I'm not counseling anyone. I'm just talking about my experiences, and in having almost 15 years experience with this, if people ask me questions about my experiences and can relate, then I think it helps. Sometimes talking to people with personal experience can actually help as much as a counselor who may not have personal experiences. But thats just my opinion, you're entitled to yours. Take care :)

[sara7977]

This was one of your best videos. Very well thought out and informative. Also, your hair looks gorgeous that way.

[prteprp]

To everyone..... Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter

[coffeetree]

Tips for others (they may sound obvious, but they seemed like a good idea at the time)

1. Don't tell via phone, text, internet etc

2. It's not a conversation you want to have intoxicated

3. For older people, It something you should think about telling, before you think about taking your clothes off

4. be honest

love and peace :)

[xsullengirlx]

@coffeetree awesome tips. They really do help :) Thank you for posting them!

[starmlk]

I think that this video was very informative. It really helps to know how to tell a person about your self-injury; even someone who isn't a significant other, perhaps a friend, family member, or someone who associates that. I think that you are right about saying that if they don't react well. Then, they aren't worth it. That's VERY important, at least I have realized that in my life. Christie, thanks for making such great and informative videos.

[musciiseverything]

I must say that your girlfriend is a lucky lady. Thank you for this video. It could not have come at a better time for me. I too am a women in a relationship with another woman. I have struggled with SI for several years now although I consider myself to be mostly recovered. I found this video to be very helpful in reviewing how to maintain an open line of communication with my partner.

Keep up the great work! You really are one of the few resources on youtube that is trigger free.

[MariaKilljoy]

My mother got angry and upset with me. Can't really leave her.

[Cupcakequeen42]

You look gorgeous in this vid.

Thank you so soooo much for making this, I've been looking for this forever so when it popped up in my subscriptions I was stoked :D

[Glittergirlz4eva1]

Is it only me that never knew she had a girlfriend. Anyways. This helped TONNES. Thankyou. If it wasn't for your videos I might not be alive right now. You are my hero <3

[leggsXinXaXtopXhat]

this is probably my favorite video i have seen from you.

you said so many good things and there were a few things that i hoped you would mention and you didn't miss any that i thought of.

great advice.

[kezgravy]

i have never had this problem as i had a long-distance boyfriend and when he came over and i was about to tell him, he dumped me :( that solved that problem i suppose

[sleepingxrose]

I only have had 2 relationships.. and in both we knew it already from eachother before we started dating..

[DrummerElliott]

I had a really serious relationship with a girl a few years ago. She knew and she forced me to stop or she'd break up with me. It was really hard but I didn't want her to leave me so I really had no choice... If I had a tiny tiny scratch she'd confront me about it... I'm glad it's over and that I never meet someone like her again :/ The threats didn't work at all. I need help, not threats...

[pointtop123]

Great video. I think about telling one of my best friends, but when she found out another friend of her was cutting, she said that she doesn´t want people like that around her. That´s what keeps me from telling her although I believe she wouldn´t let me down.

Ps.: You´re soo beautiful! <3

[AlexAndrea83109]

When you said "Girlfriend" my eyes lit up. Man I fell inlove with you all over again(:!

It is hard to tell you're lover that dfark secret.

My girlfriend of 2 years knew I cut before I even started dating her, its hard because to see that kind of ache in their look, their body language, ect.

I am currently going 4 months clean. My girlfriend was... expecting? Since she already knew I did a year or two before we started dating.

Keep doing what you do, stay beautiful. <3

[MissStillAlive]

You look so pretty! Oh my gosh!

I think the same way you do... It's so important to be completely honest in a relationship, also on a hard topic such as self injury.

[RebelYelliex]

Because of that, I want to say to all the people out there who are or have been self injuring, that it should not be something that stops you from getting serious in a relationship. Those who love you will ALWAYS love you. No matter what you went or are going through. Love is a very strong thing. Don't be afraid. x

[RebelYelliex]

My boyfriend told me at a point in our relationship when we started to get more serious. He told me he was very scared that I would break up with him if he told me. I didn't, but I can see what it must of have been like for him. I would've never left him alone, if he self injured or not. Real love can and will stand strong, through the ups and the downs. I accepted his situation and understood that he just has another way of coping than I do. I'll always love him, with or without his scars.

[hernameissamm]

how do you explain to someone you dont want their/any help?

[johnz160]

Thankyou for wonderful video - as with all your videos. It will help me in the future as struggle to stop myself cutting. My issues in my life is acceptance, friendship and trust. Something I lost as a young child. Some bonding & attachment problems. These are possibly topics for future videos I guess. Thankyou and keep doing a special job. :))))

[Sy0592]

In my relationships I always have been open even about that subject as I have some scars and marks in my arms and wrists. Of course it does take time to tell and you have to be sure you can trust the person and if he/she can understand. Currently the person i'm with loves me and supports me in order to fully recover. I no longer SI anymore for some months already.

[girlrecover]

Thank you for responding to my video request, i wasn't expecting to you and go research it but that just made me really know how much you want to help others in any possible way that you can. It really did help, i have had a very very bad experience with telling my ex about it, it wasn't the right time, right way or the right guy, so your advice really helps, don't worry, you did brilliant <3 Thanks again!!!

[armybrat204]

I love your videos. and they help me get by a lot in the life i lead right now.. thanks

[sandychick215]

your hair looks really pretty :)